134. Advocating for yourself in everyday life in a bigger body

Welcome to this week's empowering episode of the Intuitive Eating & Body Positivity Podcast, where I’m discussing practical tips for advocating for yourself confidently and effectively in everyday life. 

Whether you're travelling, dining out, attending social events, or simply navigating daily routines, it's crucial to ensure your comfort and wellbeing, so I’m giving you plenty of actionable strategies tailored for individuals in bigger bodies to help you feel more secure and self-assured in various situations.

We'll cover how to confidently request a seatbelt extender on a plane, choose restaurants with comfortable seating, and speak up at medical appointments for proper equipment. Learn about navigating fitness centres, calling ahead to theatres, and ensuring hotel comfort. Discover how to enjoy social events, and participate in outdoor activities comfortably. We'll also dive into practical advice for enhancing your home environment, and finding supportive communities. 

Join me as I break down these essential tips, share personal stories, and provide the encouragement you need to ask for what you need. 

Tune in, take notes, and start advocating for yourself today!

Get 'Eat From Within - The 3 Steps To Food Freedom' course totally free!

Transcript

0:09

Welcome to the Intuitive Eating and Body Positivity podcast. I'm Terry and I'll be talking about all things intuitive eating, body positivity and health at every size and shaking off weight stigma, diet culture and food rules so that we can all have a better relationship with food and our bodies. Hello, Happy Monday! It will be Monday when this goes live and you may be listening to it on a Monday, you may not be listening to it on a Monday, who knows? I am NOT recording this on a Monday I am recording it ahead of time so shut up Terry what a load of waffle to start with hello happy whatever day happy whatever day glad you're here with me how are you are you good I'm pretty well Not an awful lot going on at all this week. Other than lovely Luna, let me give you the tales from the cat diaries because they're back, aren't they. Nothing very exciting really has happened so nothing major to report on but Luna's settling in really well she's settling in so well she's still very nervous She's still spending a lot of time hiding away in, in this kind of box. I mean, we've not just put her in a cardboard box, but there's, we've got a cat tree and so we've taken a section out of that and the box has got a, kind of a, a hidey hole, I guess. And she's spending a lot of time in that and when she's not in there she's up and she's looking out the window fascinated by the trees and the birds and all that sort of stuff and she's just so cute she's so sweet she's so lovely she's gonna fit in she's gonna be just lovely. When she does come to you and gets all the fuss, she really, really wants the fuss. So that's really cute. Next week, I will report back because I think we're gonna start introducing her to Mabel this week. Huh, this could be interesting. We'll see. We'll see. Any tips? Very welcome. Any words of encouragement and support as I try to integrate 2 cats into the same space will be very welcome. We'll see, won't we? We'll see how it goes. But Onwards and upwards, Onwards with the show. We're going to talk about advocating for yourself in a bigger body this week. I know it can be really, really difficult to speak up for yourself when you're in a bigger body. There are things in life we need. There is extra space we need. There's extra facilities we need, that sort of thing. And it can be really difficult to ask for those things. But I wanna give you some reassurance. I wanna give you some tips. I wanna give you some tricks. I wanna give you some motivation to do it, to go and ask for what you need in life and to not be embarrassed about it and to not be ashamed that you're doing it. That's what we're doing today. I've got a big list, right? I've got a really big list. So some of it will apply, some of it will not. Just take the bits you need, apply the bits you can, and the rest of it doesn't matter. But also, if some of this feels like a real stretch for you at the moment, that's okay. You can just take it as a bit of motivation and some stuff to think about, come back to it another time. But I'd really love it if you could take some of this and start implementing it into your life. Because when you can be vocal, when you can ask for what you need. It makes life so much easier and so much more pleasant and you can do it with complete confidence. You don't have to worry about responses because half the time, more than half the time when we are thinking about it and we're thinking about the situation we're conjuring up this problem that's gonna happen and it's not gonna happen you know most of the time it's gonna be just fine so let's make a start let's talk about it and you can hopefully take some motivation and some inspiration and some ideas. Right let's start with travel. This is the thing that freaks a lot of people out. You end up restricted, you end up not going places you want to go because you're worried about the travel to get there. So let's talk about that. The biggie asking for a seatbelt extender on a plane. This puts the fear of God into so many people. And again, we conjure it up to make it this big ordeal. Here's what we see in our head. We think we're gonna get on the plane, we're gonna be greeted by the stewards, go to your seat, the light comes on, seat belts on please, and you go, mine doesn't fit. So you sit there and you wait and you wait for the stewards to come down and do all their checks and then they say to you, do you see about it please? And you say, I can't, it doesn't fit, can I have a seatbelt extender? And off they go and then you've caused a delay and you're making people wait and they've got to come back then they see you having this seatbelt extender and oh my god it's so embarrassing no it doesn't need to be like that. Here's what it can look like. You get on the plane, you're greeted by the stewards and you say, hello I'm gonna need a seatbelt extender, could you bring me 1 please? And they say, absolutely no problem, what seat are you in? You give them your seat number, you go sit down, you get ready before you know it, along comes the steward and discreetly hands you the seatbelt extender. No problem, no fuss, no bother. Easy as that. And it is as easy as that because these stewards are so used to this request they think nothing of it you are asking for something quite normal The seat belts on planes are not that long. They're really not. You do not have to be in a super big body to need a seat belt extender. And even if it does fit, even if the seat belt does fit, what if it's a little bit tight and you're like, oh, this is really uncomfortable. So what are you going to do? You're going to suffer and you're going to sit there and maybe at a point in the plane, there's a bit of turbulence and you've got to put that seatbelt on and be uncomfortable for an extended length of time? Or are you going to ask for the seatbelt extender and are you going to have that comfort, that extra room and you know not be concerned about this thing digging into your stomach for any length of time? It's not comfortable and you don't have to do it. So just as you're boarding the plane, ask to say, Hi, can I have a belt extender please? And they will bring you 1. Simple. Actually, I went on a plane where where they didn't remember so I'd done all that I got on the plane and they hadn't remembered and as the steward came down the aisle and she's doing the checks she went oh yes I remember so sorry And off she went and it wasn't a big deal. But she hadn't brought it in good time. She was doing her checks, but even at that point, it was not a problem. It really wasn't a problem. She just went, Oh gosh, so sorry. I completely forgot. She went off and when she came back, she handed it to me in the most discreet way. It was so lovely. So you genuinely do not have to worry. These people are used to doing it. They're really used to doing this. They get asked for it many, many multiple times a day. And also remember they're there to ensure that you are safe and that you are comfortable and that you enjoy your flight. All right, this request is routine for them. They want you to be comfortable and safe, you want to be comfortable and safe. That's it. And if you are feeling still like this is going to be a big deal, practice it. Right? Just practice it. Even if you're walking up the stairs to the plane, you know, the things, the staircase that they push up to the plane. As you're going up there in your head, you're going, can I have a belt extender please? Hello, can I have a seatbelt extender please? Hello, I'm gonna need a belt extender please. And then by the time you get to the top and you greet the stewardess you're like hello could I have a seat by extender please and it just comes out your mouth because you've practiced it and it's and it's fine now right. While we're talking about planes there's also the option for you to and I know I know this comes with privilege there is also the option to request a second seat. If you are financially able to, what about booking another seat? What about booking the seat next to you? So that you can lift the arm, you can spread out, you can be comfortable. Some airlines also, I don't know if they do this in the UK, but they definitely do it in some of the United States airlines. So there must be more across the world that do this. But some airlines will also allow you that extra seat for free. If you contact them and you say you are a person of size and isn't that just the best thing ever? Isn't that the best thing? People being accommodated for with no penalty. I absolutely adore that. But if you're not using an airline that has those extra free seats, you can book an extra seat. You can pay for the extra seat on that plane and then you can block it out and you can have that seat next to you. It is lovely to do that because you give yourself the space, you give yourself the comfort, you don't feel like you're squashing to this seat the whole flight, but also you don't feel like you're encroaching on somebody else's space. And I know that's something that can be a bit of a concern for people. So you can put that space between you and another passenger. If it's you and someone else traveling as a couple, what about booking out that middle seat between you? You could share it. Just say like why don't we book the row of 3 and then use it 1 end, ask it the other end and we'll share the middle. We can put things on it, we can play cards on it, we can play games on it, we can put books and snacks and treats and oh I don't know whatever else you want to use it, just see it as this table for the 2 of you. It doesn't even have to be a size thing, you know if you're embarrassed about having that conversation with somebody that you're traveling with, don't phrase it with the intention of, I need an extra seat. Why don't you instead phrase it as, I've got a good idea. Why don't we book out that middle seat? Why don't we have an extra seat for both of us to share? At which point I'm hoping that other person is gonna go, oh my God, what a great idea. What a great idea. And if you're traveling with a budget airline, this could be dirt cheap. This could be so cheap to do. If you're booking flights enough in advance they could be really cheap. It doesn't even have to be a budget airline but consider it. Consider doing it. What a great idea. I didn't even think until now of using that seat as a table because I can't pull the table thing you know on the the tray that comes down from the seat in front of you I can't pull that down comfortably so I don't use it I'd love to have a chair a chair a seat next to me that becomes a table. Oh, what a brilliant idea. That's a brilliant idea. Do you think I can convince my husband to let me book that extra seat on his credit card of course for the upcoming holiday. Let me think about this. Okay, what about if it's not a flight? What if it's a taxi for example? So you could call ahead and you could request a bigger vehicle. You could say, can I have a big car, please? Can you not send your smallest car on your fleet? Could you send me a really nice big car because I'm going to be in there for a little while. I'd like a little bit more space. Or even if it's just a short journey, you could say, I need some extra leg room. So could you book me a bigger vehicle, please? They're not going to have a problem with that. They just start booking the fare and if they do have an issue with that then they can say, I'm sorry we don't have 1 available or whatever the reasoning is. Maybe you could go 1 step further and book, you know, we've got like minivans, that sort of thing. It makes it sound like a white van man I don't mean that but you can put kind of minibus that's the word I'm looking for minibus type things where you've got this whole big area that you can sit in you could request 1 of those because I don't know about you but around here they don't charge extra for those vehicles. They're just 1 of those things that you request if you've got multiple passengers or a lot of luggage, that sort of thing. So you can say, I'd like a bit more space. Can I get a minivan please? A minivan. Is that the right word? I don't know. Or you could use private hire. So maybe you don't want to go with your run-of-the-mill taxi. You could use something like Uber or Lyft and you could book the vehicle that suits you. That's an option too, right? What about just public transport, so buses and that sort of thing? Well, okay, you don't have the same type of flexibility with your vehicle type there, but you can still prepare for it. So you can still decide what vehicles are used on what routes, how much space do they have. You could contact the company that runs those buses and ask them what facilities are like. Do they have bigger seats? Do they have areas on the bus that have bigger space to sit in? There's quite often space for wheelchair users or people with prams, that sort of thing. So maybe you could use a space like that. That's not to say that you jump into a space that somebody else needs. I don't mean, step aside wheelchair user, step aside mum with young child. I need all of the space. I don't mean that, but what I do mean is you're entitled to space. You're entitled to sit comfortably on that transport. And if there is nobody else using it, you could take advantage of that. I don't think that's unreasonable. I don't think it's unreasonable at all. And anyway, disabilities, not always visible, are they? So who's to say you can't use a disabled space? If you need physically to have that space then, then there's no reason that you shouldn't. Don't be afraid to ask staff for help either. Don't be afraid to ask the bus driver. Don't be afraid to call the company ahead of time. Or if it's run by a local council, call the local council and ask for advice. You know, these people are here to help you and make sure you can travel and you can get around the town and you can be comfortable and safe and on time for where you need to go, hopefully. Just ask the questions. You don't need to be worried about that. Also, the same goes with a lot of these things. You don't always have to do this face to face. The face to face requesting of things that you need to be comfortable and safe in life can be tricky. Standing in front of somebody and saying, I have extra needs, Can you give me what I need to make sure that I am safe and well? That can be quite difficult. However, if you're on the end of an email or on a phone call, it takes away The potential of seeing somebody's response, which is what we're worried about, isn't it? We're worried about seeing how somebody reacts to your request. Well, if you ring somebody, if you email somebody, you can't see that. And that can give you that extra level of confidence. Hotels, Hotels. You can have a very, very comfortable stay in a hotel if you make the right plans. Room specifications. When you are booking your room, you can request a room with certain features. You can request a bigger room if you prefer to have a bigger room, obviously, but you can request beds with extra foot length. For example, if you're a particularly tall person, some hotels will cater for that. You can ask for more sturdy furniture, a more sturdy bed. You can ask for the chairs in the hotel room to not have arms. Room to not have arms. You can request showers instead of a bath or a walk-in bath or You know, there's lots of things that you can do to ask for your space to be more comfortable and for you to get better use out of it. Absolutely. People are used to people calling with accessibility needs. And that's essentially what this is. It's an accessibility needs. So if there's, you can request it usually when you make a booking online. If you're doing that, put everything you need in that booking and specifically say if you cannot honor this request, can you please call me so that we can discuss it or email me so that we can discuss it you know whatever is more comfortable for you. You could call the hotel though you know if they don't have that section on the booking form or you could call ahead anyway to make these arrangements and to suss it out for yourself. You can call the hotel and ask what the facilities are like. You don't have to say, I am a fat person. You can just simply say, I have accessibility needs. I need more space. So, can you provide me chairs without arms can you provide me a sturdy bed can you provide me with a bathroom that has a walk-in shower or a bigger bath? Because sometimes they can provide you with a bath. That is larger. Maybe that's the issue. Can you provide me with a walk-in bath? Whatever it is you need, whatever it is you need. You can make that request. You can just give them a call and ask them if I book with you and I have these requirements what kind of room do I need to book and just get their advice because the staff there know this place inside out right They are there to make sure you get the hotel room that you want. And so just give them a call and ask them what their advice is on what rooms you should book. And when you get there, get there a little early. You know, if you're in a hurry, if you've got places to be and you're just going to check in and dash and go. Don't do that. Don't do that because if you end up with problems then you need to be able to sort that out. But check in early because when you check in you'll be able to then take some time to look over your booking, ask the questions, say, I needed this, I needed that, and have you provided that for me? Or if you don't want to have that conversation at actual check-in, you can check in, go to your room. And if the requirements that you've asked for have not been provided, then you've still got time then to go back down to reception or to ring reception from the phone in the room and say, I've got a few issues, you haven't provided what I needed on my booking. Could somebody come to the room and talk to me about it please? And that should hopefully then give you what you need out of your hotel room. Let's talk about eating out. This can bring its own set of worries can't it? Eating out if you're in a bigger body can be really nerve-racking. Will you be able to sit in the chairs? Will there be enough space around the tables? Will you end up in a booth that you can't comfortably fit in? There are lots of reasons why eating out at a restaurant might be daunting for you. But you can again plan ahead for this and you can take steps to make sure that you're going to be comfortable and have a really good experience because that's what you want when you go to a restaurant, isn't it? You wanna go in there, you wanna have a really nice time with the people you're eating with and make a nice meal of it. So again, research, right? Research is always key with these things. Look at reviews for the restaurant. Look at the seating arrangements on photos. Maybe that's their website, maybe that's photos that have been put into the reviews. Maybe if you Google it, it'll come up with these reviews and photos for you. There are lots of ways, if you haven't been there before, to check out the seating areas before you go there. So do a little bit of research online and check out the seating options. If you're still not sure, you can always call ahead. You can call the restaurant and you could say, I don't find it particularly comfortable sat in booths or in chairs with arms. What options do I have when I come for dinner with you? You can make that request when you book with them. You can rings book the table and say, I need X, Y, and Z. Or you don't even have to use the word need, right? You could just call the restaurant and say, I would like a table for 4 people. I would like it to not be in a booth. I would like to have the option of chairs that don't have arms on them. And I would like to be in a space where there's considerable amount of space around the table, so I don't want to feel crowded in, please. I think those are very sensible requests to ask when you're booking a table in a restaurant. So you can do that quite easily. Just ring up, make your request while you make your booking. That should be reasonably easy to do. You can also go to the restaurant ahead of time, right? There's nothing to stop you going into a restaurant And even if it's 1 of those restaurants where you get stopped by somebody at the door that's like, oh, do you have a reservation today? And you go, no, now I don't as it happens, but I'm thinking about booking here. So do you mind if I just have a look at your seating, please? Because I want to check that everybody's going to be comfortable with the seating options here and there should not be any problem with that. And quite honestly if there is a problem with that then you probably shouldn't be going there because if they have a problem with you being comfortable and needing to check that you're comfortable in their restaurant, then they're not really catering for you in a very customer service based way. They don't want you to have a good time, they just want your money. Book with us and you'll find out. No, that's not what they're saying there if they refuse to let you see the seating. So take a trip to the restaurant, go in and ask them, say, I'm thinking of booking. Can I just have a look and see what your seating is like, please? Easy, right? Easy. It's all about a positive mindset, isn't it, with these things? It's all about a positive mindset. Remind yourself that you are entitled to sit comfortably. You are entitled to go to a restaurant and sit and be comfortable and enjoy your meal just like everybody else. Also take that confidence with you when you're choosing what to eat. That's another conversation for another day, but you are entitled to eat whatever you want off the menu without judgment. You are entitled to eat as much as you want in that restaurant without judgment. Everybody's appetites are different. Everybody's body types and food and energy needs are different. You are entitled to order what you need to suit your body and your energy levels and your appetite and yeah you should do that without judgment. What else, what should we look at now? Medical appointments. This is a massive topic isn't it speaking up for yourself at the doctors so I won't cover it all here because we'll be here for another hour But let me just say you are entitled to request equipment that suits your body. So when you go to the doctors and you're expected to have things like your blood pressure taken, that's not an unreasonable request of the doctor to check your blood pressure. It's not the same as standing on the scales, I don't think. Standing on the scales is often very unnecessary, really unnecessary. And you should not be asked to do it as a routine thing just because you're there. If you've gone in because you've got constant headaches and they're like, oh, hop on the scales. No, not appropriate. If you go in there and you say, I'm getting constant headaches and the doctor says, let's take your blood pressure. I think that's a very reasonable request because your blood pressure can affect lots of things in your body and the blood pressure can really, really give you horrible headaches. So for them to say, let's do your blood pressure, That's not unreasonable in that situation. To then have your blood pressure taken in a comfortable way, very reasonable request. So, cuffs, the cuffs that they put on your arm sometimes can be a little small. If it doesn't quite fit, just say, could you source me a bigger cuff please because this 1 doesn't seem to be fitting. All sorts of reasons why you might request certain things in a doctor's surgery. Again, the chair with no arms. If your doctor's surgery does not have chairs with no arms in their waiting room or in their consultation rooms, come on doctors, what are you playing at? Quite frankly, they should all be providing these things. There is no excuse. But again, if you are worried, if you are nervous before going as to what's going to happen, you can call them. Yes, doctors surgeries are busy. Yes, their phones are often very busy. But there is no reason why you should sacrifice your request for these things. Because you're worried about taking up their time. They're there to make sure that you get the care that you need. And if part of that is saying, when I'm there, if you need to take my blood pressure, I'm going to need a bigger cuff, or could you please make sure that there is a chair with no arms in the waiting room or not the waiting room in the, what is the word? In the doctor's room. Oh, mind blank. Yeah, you should absolutely do that. You should absolutely do that. Also come prepared with questions. If you've got questions, come prepared with them. Just speak up for yourself. Not everything in life medically comes down to weight, believe it or not. We will do another session on this, but I had a masterclass, I did a masterclass on advocating for yourself in medical appointments. It was full of information and it took nearly an hour and a half. That's how much goes into how we are advocating ourselves at the doctors. But for now, just know, you can ask for equipment that suits you. No you don't have to be weighed and you can go in and ask the questions that you need to ask in a fashion that means you're not relating it to your weight So just know that it's 1 of the most difficult places for us to advocate for ourselves. I know that. But do it because it's really important because this is your health we're talking about. Also, while we're on the topic of health, let's talk about gyms, fitness centres, that sort of thing, leisure centres. Before you become a member, there is nothing wrong with going and having a look around the facilities. You can ring them or you can go in and you can say, I'm thinking of joining you. Could somebody give me a bit of a tour? Could somebody show me around what you offer? Places will be happy to do this for you because they are wanting your membership. Right. And actually the majority of places won't let you have free rain anyway, until you've done an induction. So you can say, I'd really like to come and have a tour, please. I'd really like to come and see what you offer. And they will be happy to show you around. They really will be happy to show you around and as you go around you can suss it out You can familiarize yourself with it. You can ask questions You can just drop them into conversation as you're going around, you know Most of the time they'll be asking you or what are you interested in? Will you be using the spa or Are you more about the gym? Would you want to use the pool? That sort of thing. And you can say, oh, well, I was thinking about using the spa, but, you know, what are your spa rooms like? What are the spaces like? What are the beds like that are in your spa rooms? Because that's a concern, right? Are the other beds gonna be able to handle the weight? You can, now, Let me backtrack a minute. Let me reassure you by saying that quite often clinicians' beds will take a lot more weight than you ever think that they will take. I asked this question of somebody once when I was going for a treatment. I've done it multiple times actually because different places, different equipment, right? So I have gone into a Reiki session in somebody's home where they have their home, their clinic set up in their home. And I was like, How much weight does your bed hold out of interest? And she said something like 32 stones. And I was like, 32 stone, will it? Will that bed hold that? And she was like, yeah, absolutely. They really will hold more than you think. And I've done it in spa rooms. You know, it's not an unusual question for them. And you might be surprised at just how much weight these beds will hold. When you're doing a tour of the facilities, you can check out the changing rooms and you can look at what the size of the showers is like. Are there spaces where you can go and get dressed behind closed doors? A lot of these spaces will be shared changing rooms. I don't personally like a shared changing room, I would rather have a personal cubicle if I'm stripping off and changing my clothes, drying off after a shower, that sort of thing. It's 1 of those things you can look for while you're having a walk around. You can have this list either on your phone or on a piece of paper or in your head and as you're walking around you can do a mental check of is that there, is that there, Is that there? Ask about gowns. I am a firm believer that the more we ask for things, the more people will realise they're needed. Ask how big are your gowns? Your robes that you issue to people to spend a day in your spa. Do you have extra large ones? Now they might say, nope, we've only got 1 size. And in which case you can take your own. Or you can still choose to use the other 1 and just not do it up if that suits you. The towels, you can check out the towel sizes. I am a firm believer in buying very large towels. I now know that if I go for a towel with a length of more than 150 centimeters, I'm gonna like that towel. So I know in my head what sort of size towel I'm expecting. And again, if the spa will not provide me with a towel that's big enough, I will take my own. I don't have a problem with that. My towels are washed in my home, tumble dried so they're super soft and I know where they've been. I know who's used them. Me, because at home I have my own towels. I do. I have my own towels. People in my house Do not use my towels because I have 4 big bath towels. I don't want other people to use them because then they're not available for me. So yeah, take your own stuff. If they don't have the stuff that you need, take your own stuff. You won't be the first, you won't be the last, right? What else? You can ask about group classes there. You can ask how the instructors would tailor it for people like you. And when I say people like you, you can phrase it however you like. You can say, if you're super confident about this, I am in a bigger body, right? I can't do the things that some smaller people can do. Will the instructor adopt things so that I can get into those positions too? You know, if, if you're going to a yoga class, for example, does the instructor tailor that for people of all body sizes? Because some poses are not accessible to me as they are for smaller people. So how are the instructors? Will they tailor the classes so that they'll help me still be able to get what I need out of it? Or if you are not happy saying that, if you're not happy referencing your body type, you can just say, I have accessibility needs. Are the instructors able to help me with that? See, same question, just different words. You can find your own way to ask the questions, but you can suss out the instructors and whether they are likely to just go, no, blanket, 1 size fits all, you must do the 1 pose that everybody does. Or will they help you? And the same with the gym, right? You can ask the same questions about the gym. Does the gym have suitable equipment for me? Will the gym equipment be suitable for my size? Will instructors be on hand if I need help when I'm in the gym? If I need assistance with adjusting machines to suit me so that they're comfortable for my body, will there be staff in there that can help me with that? These are not unreasonable questions. None of them are unreasonable questions. You go in there and you ask for what you need. Let's talk about going out. So we talked about restaurants and things, but what about social events, right? Theaters, theaters. Does that put the, Oh, does that just give you the shivers? Does going to the theatre really unnerve you? Because you're thinking you've got to try and squeeze into 1 of those rows of seating. There is no leg room. Your knees are wedged up against the seat in front of you. You are bigger than the seat because those seats are tiny and you are worried about spilling each side into the next person And even if you're not worried about that, the arms are uncomfortable. Do you know what? Make inquiries about the seats. Ask what seating is available that doesn't have arms. That's usually a really good starting point. In our local theatre there are balcony seats and if you go to the balcony seats they are individual chairs. Right? Good, yes? Individual chairs. Some of those chairs have arms, some of them do not. But either which way, I always book a balcony seat if I go to see a show or I go to a concert at the theatre, because yes, they have concerts. But if I go there, I always book the balcony seats because I know I'm going to be able to move that chair. I'm going to be able to push it back and stand up if I need to. I am going to have more space in the chair because those chairs are wider than the rows of seating. I know that if I want a chair with no arms on I can have 1. These are designed specifically for accessibility reasons. Those balcony seats in our theatre aren't even any more expensive than the normal ones. Go for it. Check out what options are available. There might be accessibility information on their website, if you have a good look. Actually, I went and looked for my theater's accessibility information. I couldn't find it. So I dropped them an email and I said, I am looking for information for people with bigger bodies. So could you tell me what's available because I can't see it. And they replied, they directed me to where it was on the website. And then they actually said, oh, I'm sorry, you struggled to find that. We'll position it better for future. And they moved it on their website. Can you believe that? They actually moved it. How amazing is that? So there are ways to find out how accessible the seating is. Again, get there early. If you're worried about having to squeeze past people, maybe you can get there a little bit earlier so you go in first, that sort of thing. You don't have to feel rushed, you know? Theme parks, go, they're the same. Do your research before you go. Contact the park, have a look at their website, see what rides are going to be accessible for you, plan your day, what facilities are there that you can use that suits your needs. There's loads of ways to do that And that applies to loads of other activities, loads of activities that you can go out and do. You can always check ahead, you can always contact the venues, the places you're going. You can always see what equipment they've got. You can make inquiries as to if there's weight limits or size limits or height limits, you know, whatever it is, whatever it is, you can ask the question. And you might even find that there are size inclusive groups that you can join, where their actual purpose is to go and find activities that suit you and are geared up for you. So have a look, see if there's anything local to you because That might be really helpful. If you're going to a private event, like somebody's party, for example, what about having a conversation with the host or checking out the venue before you go? You might be friendly enough with the host to be able to say to them, Oh, do you mind me asking what sort of seating is there? What is the, you know, the eating arrangements? How are we going to be sat? How are we going to be positioned? What kind of space is there? What kind of chairs are there? They will have visited that venue. They will have checked it out. They will know what's there. If they don't know or if you're not comfortable asking them, again, call the venue. Just make your inquiries, do what you need to do. But let me say this. Dance. Eat. You are there to enjoy it as much as anybody else. Do not have to feel bad about dancing. Take up that space on the dance floor, throw some shapes and have a good time. And the Same with food. Eat what you want to eat. Right? Eat what you want to eat. Whether that is 1 trip, multiple trips, whether that is a little bit of everything or just 1 type of food, you're entitled to eat in the same way as everybody else, all right? I do have on my list about talking to your workplace. I think I'm going to do that in a different 1, right? I think I might, yeah, I'm going to tackle that 1 in a different episode because I think there's a lot more to how we talk to our workplace, our HR department, our managers, that sort of thing about what we need at work. So let's skip that 1 for now. I'm going to come back to that 1. Clothing, let's talk about clothing. Have you ever considered alterations to your clothes? I know, me neither. We are all familiar, aren't we, with online shopping? As plus-size people, we will be all very familiar with the fact that we get a lot of our clothes online because there aren't very often things in high street stores for us. There's not a lot of variety. There's not a lot of styles, and you can get more online. But what about this? What if you tailored your clothes to suit you? What if you've got a piece of clothing and it didn't quite fit you right, but you really liked it? Well, what about getting somebody to just take it in? There will be a local tailor locally to you that will be able to do that. There will be someone you know, I'm sure, who has a dab hand with a needle and thread and a sewing machine that can do that for you. Tailor clothes to suit you. If they're not quite right, but you really like them and you really want to wear them, then find a way to tailor them. If you're feeling really adventurous or not adventurous, I just think for me, it's adventurous, but if you're feeling like this is something you can tap into, why not have your clothes made for you? It might not be something you can do, it might be something you can do, it might not be something you'd want to do, but oh my goodness, the joy in having something that is tailored just for you, I can imagine would be awesome. So either have your clothes adjusted to suit you so that they're comfortable, or have your clothes made for you so that they are designed for your body. Tailoring clothes is a perfectly excellent, perfectly excellent, yes. Tailoring your clothes is a really excellent way to have the clothes that you love fit you. And from there you can build it bit by bit. You can build your wardrobe up. You can have these key pieces that work really well together and they fit you. They're meant for you. Oh, having clothes that fit is just the best. I did talk about towels, didn't I, briefly, which leads on nicely into my next subject. Stuff at home. If you need stuff at home for your body, for making things accessible to you, please get them because there is nothing like advocating for yourself but there is also nothing like feeling comfortable in your own home. This is really important, this is this is where you're supposed to feel the safest, the most comfortable, the happiest And if that means that you have extra bits and pieces at home for you to make you feel that way, then do it. So it might be that you have to invest a little bit more, but get furniture that is comfortable for you. Don't settle for furniture that you sit on and it does but actually you're not that comfortable. Get a sofa that is big and comfortable if you can. Get chairs that suit your body. Get dining chairs that are a little bit bigger. Get chairs without arms. Again, we're talking chairs without arms again, aren't we? But get furniture at home that suits your body and that is comfortable for you. Get extra bits and pieces like aids. You know if you need a grab rail in your shower to help stabilize yourself to get into the shower, please do it. Please put 1 up. If you need shoe horns so that you can put your shoes on comfortably because you find it a struggle to reach down and and get your shoe on, please get 1. There are lots of ways that you can make life easier for yourself in your own home that can make it easy for you to function day by day. It's really important. Get the extra big things. Get the big towels. Get the huge towels. There is something very luxurious about a massive towel. Also things like dressing gowns. You don't have to buy those in your size if you don't want to. My dressing gown is massive and I mean massive. My dressing gown is I think 3 times bigger than my clothing size. And that is because I want a massive, fluffy, wrap around, swallow me whole dressing gown. So that's what I've got. Get the things at home that are going to make you comfortable and happy. It's really important. There are lots of other ways that you can advocate for yourself, but quite frankly, this episode has now gone on long enough. I couldn't shoehorn into this episode everything that I could say about advocating for yourself. But I will say this 1 last thing. Join some supportive communities, get yourself in some online groups, get yourself into memberships where they are talking about these issues, where they are helping you to find ways to manage. Join MyEat from within membership. We're in there, we're talking about body image, we're talking about body issues, we're talking about navigating everyday life. We are a group of women with varying body types, all talking about these things. And we're encouraging and we're supporting each other. So get yourself into something like my membership. In fact, just get yourself in my membership. Yeah. But get yourself into spaces where you feel validated, supported, and like people can contribute ideas as to how you can go about things like this. It's really important. There's online groups, there's in-person groups, you know, Facebook groups. I'm sure it wouldn't take you long to Google that. I've got a Facebook group if you want to come in there. There are lots of spaces where you can go and share your experiences and get support and get that bit of cheerleading going on to help you to put this stuff into place right oh there was a lot in there there's a lot in there but there's so much more so much more I could talk about but yeah I think we'll leave it there for today shall we okay go out there take on the world because you deserve it. You deserve to have your place in the world as you are and ask for what you need. And share your stories with me, right? If you go out and you have asked for what you needed and you're like, hell yeah, I did it. Drop me a message, because then I can celebrate with you. Yeah. Instagram, LinkedIn, love LinkedIn at the moment. Email, Facebook, just come find me. Just come tell me about it, because I want to, I wanna big you up, right? Okay, cool, I'll speak to you next week. Take it easy. Bye.