136. {REPLAY} Why it's not your fault that you're a serial dieter

I'm taking a little break. Just having a few weeks off. While I do that I'm giving you the replays of some of my most popular episodes. 

Whether you've heard them before or not, I encourage you to give these replays a listen and see if you notice anything new. Just a heads up, there may be some outdated details like my previous business name and social media handles, so be sure to check the show notes for accurate information.

This one is by far the most listened to, so I thought we'd start here!

It seems when I started this podcast we were just coming out of the dreaded lockdowns, so it was odd listening back to how I was talking about taking a trip into town and finally getting a long overdue bra fitting. 

But the main topic of the episode is the reasons why it's not your fault if you find yourself constantly yo-yo dieting. I discuss the impact of diet culture and beauty standards on our subconscious and how it affects our self-image. I also share some eye-opening observations from a week-long experiment I conducted to track the prevalence of diet and beauty-related content in our daily lives.

I also touch on the first principle of intuitive eating, which is rejecting the diet mentality. It's a challenging process, especially when we're constantly bombarded with messages that reinforce unrealistic beauty standards. 

Plus I share a positive encounter where individuals engaged in an actual sensible conversation about weight loss and overall health!

Whether you're new to intuitive eating or not, this is a great one to listen to and get some awareness of the influences around you on your eating habits and body confidence.

Transcript

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Hello, I am having a few weeks off, just a little break. And while I'm doing that, I'm giving you some fantastic replays of old episodes. And this is 1 of those episodes. I have picked the episodes that have been most popular. So I know you're gonna love them. If you've heard them before, have another listen, see if you hear something different. And if you haven't, then great, this'll save you having to scroll back. There might be a couple of details that have changed over time, so things like my social media handles and I used to go by LifeBite Nutrition, that was my original business name and obviously I'm not using those anymore. So if you do want to follow any links, just go to the show notes for this episode and use the links there, they will be correct. That's it, public announcement over, enjoy the episode. Welcome to the Intuitive Eating and Body Positivity podcast. I'm Terri  and I'll be talking about all things intuitive eating, body positivity and health at every size, and shaking off weight stigma, diet culture and food rules so that we can all have a better relationship with food and our bodies. Shall we get going? What's happened in life this week? So shops are back open lockdown is done pretty much and the shops are now opening so I had a little trip into town yesterday to go for a bra fitting. Oh that has been long overdue, long long long overdue and I cannot tell you how good it feels to be wearing the correct size underwear. I was a little bit wary of how it was going to be because obviously we're still social distancing and all of that. So I wasn't sure how it was going to work, but I went to Marks and Spencer's and they were amazing. The sales assistant was amazing. They've got really good, really good precautions in place, really good social distancing and organized really well. So yeah, go get it done. If you are overdua bra fitting, if you're not wearing the correct size underwear go get it done it's very important for the health of your breasts. Public service announcement over. It was nice though it was nice to go to town it was nice to go and wander around for a bit and yeah wander around in the sunshine in a way that is relatively normal. It's good. We're quite lucky here because COVID levels are really really really low here but yeah it was nice. It feels like a bit of normality is coming our way can't can't wait and also it's sunny and who doesn't like a bit of a wander around when it's sunny I did go to debonims as well unfortunately our debonims is closing down so they've got a big sale on us just a little bit like TK Max at the moment though it is just a jumble sale I can't bear TK Max I'm sure they've got some great stuff I'm sorry TK Max this is nothing against you people obviously love you but I do not I cannot do it just want to go into a shop look at what's there easily pick out my size and go I just can't do that in Debenhams now. But they did have some great bits and pieces on the shelves. I got some new pajamas and things like that. So yeah, all good. Well, pajama bottoms, because what happens with me is my top half and my bottom half are not the same size. So I have to buy separates. But there you go. That's a conversation for another day, isn't it? What I did want to talk about today for this very, very first special podcast is, Why it's not your fault that you are a serial dieter? So by serial dieter, I mean a yo-yoer. You do a diet, you lose some weight, you stop dieting, you put the weight back on. So you go back to your diet or you try a different diet and you lose some weight, all is well with the world. And then you stop and you put that weight back on. And over time, it becomes harder and harder to lose the weight and easier and easier to gain the weight. And it's an absolute nightmare circle. But it's not your fault. It's not your fault that you are in that loop. So there is a saying, no, not a saying, there is a quote from Seth Godin. Godin? I think it's Godin. And he said, facts are irrelevant. What matters is what the consumer believes.'" And that quote speaks volumes to me because it nicely packages up diet and beauty culture perfectly. Because it doesn't matter what the truth is, it just matters what the advertisers make you believe is the truth. And it doesn't matter what you really look or feel like, just what you think you look like and how much of it you think you need to change. And I know that diet culture is all around us but I'm not sure that people who aren't immersed in it day in day out like I am would realize how bad it is. It's kind of my thing to know this and to see it and to help you to see it through my posts and things, but I am aware that not everybody is working in the field and you might not see it for what it is. So I did a little experiment. I thought for a week, I would keep a note of every time that I saw or I heard anything diet, culturey. Yes, that is a word. And if it's not a word, I just made it a word. And I know that you hear Monica in your head. That's not even a word. That's also not a very good impression. But yeah, I thought I'd keep a note of everything that I heard that was related to diet and beauty standards and things like that and see how it looked at the end of the week. And I was, even I was surprised at how often dieting and body image came up, both in the media and in general conversation. So here is my list. Are you ready for this? You might be shocked because it started really early in the day. It started with the breakfast TV doctor talking about losing weight. So if you are in the UK, I'm sure you know what that TV doctor is, who that TV doctor is. He's on TV quite regularly. And actually, he quite regularly drops into conversation about the impacts of weight on health. Another morning, breakfast TV presenters were busy talking about the weight that they had gained and that the nation had gained. And did you realize that a diet club actually sponsors morning TV on 1 channel? Weight Watchers actually sponsors a whole morning TV program. So even if they don't discuss it on the program they're still talking about it. So every time you go in and out of an ad break, there it is. Filtering into your subconscious. What else? So there were numerous social media posts. Every time I logged onto Instagram or Facebook, there it was, talking about the ways I could improve myself. There were too many to count really. I stopped counting. I started keeping a record of them and then I decided it was way too much and I stopped. 1 radio host joked about his own weight. I can't remember the exact joke now but he made some some joke about the way he looked and the weight that he was carrying now and I don't know if he meant it or not but I suspect that there is an element of him that did and either way self-deprecating jokes are not good for you they're so not good for you I mean you wouldn't talk to your friend like that so why why talk to yourself like that Social media adverts were all around my news feeds. They were all over social media. They were on the websites, you know, you get the sponsored ads and things. Loads of ads in there for things like that. And in a shop that I went to, there were magazines on a rack where I queued and they were all busy commenting on celebrities bodies and what the best diets are for coming out of lockdown, the healthy meal plans that they were supplying, beauty secrets. Honestly, those magazines are the worst. Please stop buying them because they do Absolutely nothing for your self-esteem. And actually, I think it's not okay to support a publication that is willing to tear down celebrities for the way they look. It's, it's not okay. It's not okay. We shouldn't treat people like that. That week, sadly, a celebrity died after losing her battle with an eating disorder, poor Nikki Graham, bless her. So she had an eating disorder that she battled with for years and years. And then when lockdown happened, she, it just, it just emphasized the whole eating disorder. And, And at the end of the day, she didn't think that she was thin enough and it, it sadly got the better of her. Colleagues around me at work, talking about their weight and why they shouldn't eat something and the diets that they're on. Friends around me talking about their weight and the diets that they're on. Friends around me talking about their weight and the diets that they're on. And that's not a criticism towards my friends and my colleagues. This is just natural, normal conversation now. Other friends of mine promoting diet products and the financial gains that they get from selling it. On TV, if you notice, people are cast for TV shows generally are more slimmer and more glamorous than your average person on the street. If you take Holyoaks, for example, I think Holyoaks is designed to make people look more glamorous than your average soap. So if you compare something like Coronation Street to Hollyoaks, Coronation Street, I think, represents normal people much better than Hollyoaks does. Because when you look at the cast in Hollyoaks, they are very much more the ideal beauty standard, the ideal of what people aspire to be. So that's just a soap, that's just a drama. There are obviously lots of examples of TV shows that don't do it, but on the whole, when people are trying to glamourise their TV shows, they hire the thin, the blonde, the tall, the tall, dark and handsome man, you know. Have a little look at that. You might be surprised at what you see on TV now. And jokes on birthday cards. Have you ever noticed how many of them refer to dieting and weight and the negative connotations around aging and what it does to your body and what it does to your skin, your weight. Oh, I mean, I know they're designed to be funny. I personally don't find them funny. I don't know about you, but I don't find jokes about age funny. I just think it's a bit, I think it's a bit old school now. Come up with something better, card makers. Anyway, these are just the things that I spotted. So never mind the stuff that I didn't pick up on, the stuff that I missed because I was too busy working or dealing with stuff at home or cooking or you know whatever but this is all being drip fed into our subconscious without us even knowing it. So with all of that going on is it really any wonder that we constantly question ourselves and that we question the way that we look and we question our weight and whether our clothes look right and what size clothes are we in and we question our hair and our makeup and what people will think when we enter a room. And I eat, sleep and breathe this stuff. And even I was second guessing the impact of my weight this week. So I've had some health issues. I'll go into that another time. That's another subject for another podcast, but even I was questioning whether my weight was to blame for some of the symptoms that I was having. And I know better, I know better, and I know the truth behind how weight affects health. So if I'm dieting myself, it is no wonder that people who don't know about the damage that dieting causes and the impact of weight on health, it's no wonder that those people don't stand a chance. And when it comes to advertising, companies are spending millions of pounds getting us to buy their products. And they just wouldn't do that if it didn't work. So go back to that quote and tell me that the advertising doesn't intentionally make us feel bad about ourselves in order to sell products. And you can't because you see it and you hear it and you feel it. You know, when you see something on TV, that on a TV ad that makes you want to buy something to make your skin less wrinkled. Or you see holiday companies advertising Women in bikinis on the beach having a great time and you're like, oh, I'd better do something about that before I go on holiday You know, it's all natural thoughts that we get But that's what advertising does it makes you see things and think that that's what you need to be It makes you feel bad about yourself. Interesting, isn't it? It's rubbish, but it's interesting as well. It's interesting. And these companies, they all play on the mind and the psychology of how we feel about ourselves. Principle 1 of intuitive eating is rejecting the diet mentality. So seeing all these things around us and understanding the impact that it's having on our lives and looking at ways to put that aside so that you can have a more normal relationship with food. And looking at that list it's no surprise that this is the hardest principle for a lot of people to get through. It takes the longest time because while you're trying to shake off all the diet stuff around you, you also have more of it being drip fed into you. And it makes me really angry. It makes me so angry because people struggle with their body image and their self-confidence because they're constantly being told that they're not good enough. Like poor Nikki, poor Nikki Graham. She didn't think she was good enough. She was constantly hearing all these things, seeing all these things and it was tapping into her eating disorder and she sadly lost her life. Why can't we just accept that being thinner or lighter is not the be all and end all. You can be healthy without trying to live up to some company's beauty standards. You can be healthy at a bigger weight. You can be valued. You do have a place in the world at whatever size you are. You are a valuable person and you shouldn't have to be thinner or lighter or a certain shape or size in order to feel like that is so. What was refreshing though was that I did hear a conversation between a couple of people who were talking about food and weight loss and what they were eating and how much they were cutting back in order to try and lose some weight. And people in that conversation were actually telling these other people that weight loss is not the answer to better health. That it's about what you eat, not how much you eat, and it's about your overall diet and your overall physical movement and things like that that matter to your health, not the weight on the scales. And that was a really good sensible conversation. It wasn't instantly dismissed, which was amazing. So keep spreading the message and keep telling people that they are wonderful as they are because people are listening. I think the body positivity and the Health at Every Size movement is coming on in leaps and bounds And the more people listen and the more people hear the truth and the more people see what they don't need to be, better and healthier we'll all be. So there endeth the lesson for today. Yeah, there's loads to be said on it. I know there's loads and loads you will probably come up with a whole heap of other things that you see and hear around you that is telling you how you should or shouldn't be. I really hope actually that if you've listened to this and you weren't seeing it before that you start to spot these things now and you can start to kind of push them aside a bit and feel better about yourself and not feel pressured to look or be a certain way. I will leave it there for today. Before I go, just a little cheeky request. I would love you to come and follow me on Facebook and on Instagram. I am posting regularly. I'm putting loads of little messages out there, just quick things for you to read and to see that will help you to get deeper into body positivity and intuitive eating and and I'd love you to come and join me. So Instagram I'm at LifeBite Nutrition and on Facebook the Facebook group is LifeBite intuitive eating and body positivity group. So come and find me come join the group The Facebook group is really small at the moment because it's brand new so come join that and yeah give me a follow on Instagram and that is it for now. I will speak to you next week. I'm going to try and keep these podcasts weekly and yeah give you a little something to listen to every week. Thanks for listening I can't wait to see where this goes. Drop me a message you've got any questions got any comments just drop me a message but have a great week enjoy the sun. I'll speak soon.