Finding Your SELF

This episode is for anyone looking to expand themselves or define themselves. Life is a long path-often  through unfamiliar places. And those unfamiliar places are were we find ourselves. In this episode I talk about how the journey is where we're made.

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SHOW NOTES

Quotes:

"There is only one way to know the Self, and that is to realize him yourself. The ignorant think the Self can be known by the intellect, but the illumined know he is beyond the duality of the knower and the known.” -The Upanishads

“The hero in each of us is required to answer the call of individuation. We must turn away from the cacophony of the outer world to hear the inner voice. When we can dare to live its promptings, then we achieve personhood. We may become strangers to those who thought they knew us, but at least we are no longer strangers to ourselves.” – Dr. James Hollis

Transcript

"There is only one way to know the Self, and that is to realize him yourself. The ignorant think the Self can be known by the intellect, but the illumined know he is beyond the duality of the knower and the known.” -The Upanishads

Welcome to The Soul Podcast. I’m Stacey Wheeler.

Today I want to talk about self discovery and belief.

I noticed something. Since I launched this show three years ago, I’ve been careful with my words. I’ve always looked to find a balance between science and spirituality. I look at ways the two overlap and intersect. I offer up historic references to spiritual matters and spiritual life. I do this with the intention of giving context to the spiritual topics I talk about. And, to give credibility to the ideas.  Maybe most-importantly, I choose my words to not presume that I know anything for sure. I did this because I’ve heard many shows where the host appeared certain that what they were saying about spiritual matters was true. Absolutely true. 

And I’m not certain that what I believe is absolute truth. I know it feels that way for me. I live my life from the truth that I am more than this body. And I understand that though I fully embrace my beliefs, it feels somewhat self-righteous to portray my beliefs as undeniable truth. We’re each on our own journey. All in search of answers to the big questions, which will help us make sense of this life we are living. And on each of our journeys we accumulate experiences which influence our beliefs. Some of these are from positive experiences and others are from less than positive experiences. 

And I understand there’s some baggage which influences my view of the world and my place in it. 

Growing up, I had religious concepts instilled in me as facts. And many of these, I later rejected. There were many facets of religious belief that didn’t ring true for me. Thing like the idea of the eternal fires of hell. Even as a small child -it didn’t make sense that god is all love but will send you to a place of eternal pain if you don’t say or do certain things in your human form. So, some of the things I learned were left behind… rejected.  In my young life it was as though I was being prepared for a long journey. In life we are presented with ideas and we retain the ones we feel are useful. My pack was fitted to me and those who cared about me crammed in it all the beliefs they felt would best serve me on my journey.  Their intentions were good. My pack nearly full, I was nudged onto the long path of adulthood in my late teens. Out into the wild of the real world I went with a pack full of beliefs. My tools for a good life.

As a child I heard about staying on the ‘straight and narrow’ path in life. What they were saying was follow the rules and beliefs established. Don’t take risks. Be a ‘good boy’ or a ‘good man.’ And “good” was based on my parents’ belief system. But the path she nudged me down wasn’t narrow at all. It was wide. And at times it was dreadfully boring. I’m playful at my core. I’m adventurous. And the straight and narrow path became monotonous. 

Wake up. Do your work. Go to sleep. Wake up. Do your work… and so on and so on… 

I soon got bored with this path. Was this all there was? I’d paused here and there along the path to check out side-trails. I took a little peak down them. They were different. And different is exciting to an adventurer like me. So, I explored other paths that went into thickets and woods. Areas that felt like they should have had signs that read: “Enter eat your own risk” or “Danger awaits.” 

And in those places, I learned about me. In those places, I started finding me.  

Maybe this sounds familiar to you…? Maybe you too were an adventurer from time to time. 

My side adventures were exciting. And when I was done with each adventure, I’d return to the safe trail I was told I was supposed to be on. I’d travel further down and find more side-trails to explore. Along the way, the trails I explored could have had names like “Jump a Moving Freight Train,” “The Psychedelic Bypass,” “Wildfire Ridge” and “The Church Will Not Approve.” It was great fun and I made interesting (though not always happy) memories. When we get off the well rutted path we can make mistakes. And it was only in challenging my beliefs that I was able to discover many of those beliefs were not useful to me anymore. They were slowly being replaced by new beliefs. And it wasn’t long before I started to wonder why I’d been given all this unhelpful baggage to carry. What else was I carrying in my pack that wasn’t useful? I kept examining the contents as I went. And lightening my load as I moved forward. I dropped the old beliefs as I went.

Years passed and as I made my way up the path, many of the tools and supplies I’d been burdened with were left behind. Before me were endless paths of potential. Behind me was a collection of old beliefs, like a trail of breadcrumbs, pointing the direction I’d left. Each of the unhelpful beliefs I’d once carried were replaced by new, useful beliefs -which came from my life experience. My new beliefs had been tried and tested and proven valuable to me. But they were my personal conclusions. I understood that because they were true for me, did not mean they were (or should be) true for everyone. We each have our journey of self-discovery. We each end up in the place where our explorations lead us. There is not one single destination. And I understood that whatever destination I found myself at the moment should not be the final destination -only a layover until the exploration continues. 

Our parents and society can only share with us the supplies they have available. So, as we set out on the journey of our lives, few of us feel content with what’s in our pack. There’s a part of us that feels the intuitive desire to challenge beliefs, standards and expectations. 

The tools we’re given before we’re nudged onto the path of adulthood are good, basic supplies. They’re enough to help us get by. And through life experience, we’re able to exchange what we have for what we find we need. And what we often need are tools that help us thrive. Tools which help us feel alive and complete. It’s a personal evolution. Carl Jung called it “individuation” -the process of breaking away from our parental and societal programming and becoming a truer version of ourselves. In this process, we essentially claim our birthright of individualism. 

The Jungian psychologist, Dr. James Hollis put it this way,

 “The hero in each of us is required to answer the call of individuation. We must turn away from the cacophony of the outer world to hear the inner voice. When we can dare to live its promptings, then we achieve personhood. We may become strangers to those who thought they knew us, but at least we are no longer strangers to ourselves.” 

We’re all evolving -if we’re doing the work of living and learning. When we’re challenging our beliefs. 

Going back to the opening quote from the Upanishads, 

"There is only one way to know the Self, and that is to realize him yourself.” 

You can also read it as “….realize IT yourself.” If that’s more comfortable. The point is that to know yourself you must find the Self. And that’s where our travels lead us. To realizing your self. That journey is priceless. I believe it is one of the primary reasons for our existence. Beyond all gifts, it is the one that has made my life so full and beautiful. My adventures have led to my beliefs. And my beliefs steer my life -as they evolve towards an ultimate truth I know is out there -yet I will likely never achieve in this life. 

And though we may have found some truths in our lives, we can’t assume our truth should be everyone’s. After all, we’ve explored a specific set of paths branching off the one we were told to follow. In doing so, we’ve learned a lot. There are countless other paths we’ve not taken. Experiences we’ve not had. So how can we judge that they have no valid truths to offer? We often find when we take a path outside our comfort zone that we expand in our understanding of the world. The experience may even change a long-standing belief. 

There’s always more to learn. We have not learned it all. 

I’ve spent much of my life questioning the reality I was offered -even though I didn’t think of I that way. It’s been a priceless education. 

When we make our way in the world, we find paths that are more to our liking. That’s because we chose our own paths. The old path is far behind now. We’ve chosen our adventures. We adopt new beliefs through those trails and adventures. My paths have been valuable. 

There are many truths I’ve found. But does that mean those truths should be valuable to everyone else? Does that mean I should assume my findings in life are the only truth? 

Of course not. 

So, on The Soul Podcast I present tools I find useful. And I present things I’ve found to be true. Though they may not be that way for you, I encourage you to examine them just the same. My greatest evolutions have come from dropping some of my longest-held beliefs. And this is not a small thing. In fact it can be painful to walk away from a familiar belief and walk toward another one. It is like leaving a familiar trail we believe is safe -to walk toward one we fear could be dangerous. 

And we must cast away the old to grow. We can only evolve our thinking by making room for new thinking. You must make space in your pack to fill the space with new truth. 

So, getting back to where I began. I know very few things for certain. I know that Love and The Soul are universal concepts. Every culture and language have a word for them. I know that life is unpredictable. I know that suffering is part of the journey. And I know that when I have a milkshake I will make a loud sound with the straw to assure I get every drop.  (Hey, we all have our own truths). These are mine. Anything else… I can only assume I know. The ideas I present on this show are my individual truth. I present them from that place, but none of them are absolute. 

My life has been on a path of continuous evolution. Evolution is where I’m most happy. And I’m sure the way I see reality and truth will evolve as I move forward. But in this moment, my beliefs are my reality. And your beliefs are YOUR reality. So, in future episodes I’ll speak with more certainty about my positions. I’ll present them as my truth. You can decide for yourself if they resonate as truth to you.  

Life is a winding journey through unfamiliar paths. I wish for all of us, that our paths lead to interesting and revealing places, which leave us with beautiful memories and new truths.  

“There is only one way to know the Self, and that is to realize it yourself. The ignorant think the Self can be known by the intellect, but the illumined know the Self is beyond the duality of the knower and the known.”

Watch for new, unfamiliar paths. They will lead you to… your Self.