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Join me for an incredible 3 day live event in July. Quantum Success Activation. Discover how to close the gap between your desired life and your current reality to create the extraordinary. Join here.
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Miraculous Success Academy is reopening! Grab your place in the mastermind of ultimate expansion and limitless success.
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Thank you so much for listening. Please hit subscribe and if you loved this episode leave a 5 star review.
Please come and join the Soulful Badass Community, this is a group of incredible people creating epic lives together.
There are amazing programs and meditations available at www.soulfulbadass.uk , including this Meditation 'Unleash the Highest Version of You', which is my free gift to you for listening.
You can follow me on Facebook or Instagram @rachel.soulfulbadass
Thanks for listening.
Love Rachel x
Welcome to the Soulful Badass podcast. I'm your host, rachel Jackson, an intuitive success coach from the UK, and I'm here to help entrepreneurs, leaders and soul aligned goddesses to create epic levels of success and impact in your life and your business. So if that sounds good to you, make sure you are tuning in every week for mindset talk, manifestation, magic and incredible interviews with other soul aligned entrepreneurs. So hit the subscribe button and I'd love to invite you to come and join the Soulful Badass community. All the links are in the show notes. Please go and click them and I'll see you in there.
Speaker 1:Hi everyone, on today's episode I am so excited to announce that I've got one of my ex-clients, jen Wilson, and she is a wellness coach who is absolutely incredible. Her story from burnout to now helping women overcome their own stress journeys is incredible. There is so many ahas and moments that you will take from this podcast episode, so I can't wait to share it with you and I hope you enjoy it. Hi, everyone, welcome to this week's podcast. I am so excited to announce I have Jen Wilson, one of my good friends, on the call today and she is a wellness coach. So, hi, jen, hi, do you want to share with everybody who you are, what you do and a bit about yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course I'm Jen Wilson. I am a wellness coach and I help women overcome stress and exhaustion so they can be more present, enjoy life and have fun again.
Speaker 1:Amazing. Now, how did you get into that, jen? Because that's quite a needed niche. Everybody does need that. So how did you get into helping women in that area?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it comes about from my own story, really having struggled with chronic stress for over a decade. It's a really long story, which started kind of about 2008, 2009 and it was brought on. My stress originally was brought on in the workplace and I was signed off long term with stress, anxiety and depression and prior to that I had built up for quite a few years but I didn't really understand what stress was. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what was wrong.
Speaker 2:I had all these symptoms and I remember actually reading a magazine article that had this two page spread on stress and it had this box with all these symptoms in and I was like, yeah, I got that, got that, got that, and I had them all. And I was like, oh, I'm just stressed. Yeah, I'm just stressed, I'm not seriously ill, I'm just stressed. So I kind of just parked it and carried on. But that carrying on led to me having a complete burnout and that was when I was signed off long term.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and what were you feeling up to that point? Because I think there's going to be a lot of people listening that don't actually know them symptoms and do think you know they're just tired, they're just overwhelmed, like what were you feeling?
Speaker 2:So I would describe it as like an accumulation of symptoms, that kind of built up over time, and I think that's why it was suddenly then a problem. It was things like I was feeling quite tearful, crying a lot, I had kind of muscular aches and pains, I was exhausted, I was forgetful, I couldn't concentrate. I found it really hard to just kind of present in the moment. And as things got worse, I started then having problems with my digestion. So I started getting like constipation. Diarrhea was really ill after A8, which I then found out was irritable bowel syndrome which had been brought on by stress. Wow, I then had headaches every single day for over two years. The only difference in them was the severity, but I'd go to bed with one and I'd wake up with one and it was just there constantly, which I now know with tension, headaches brought on by stress. But yeah, you kind of just think, oh, if I go to bed I won't have it tomorrow, and I won't have it tomorrow, and it just went on and on, and on, and on, and then, when it got really bad, I kind of lost. I'd describe it as struggling to get through the day. So I'd get through the day, I'd get home and I'd just flake out on the sofa and I wouldn't move till it was time to go to bed and then start the day again. I came very detached. I lost enjoyment in many things that I once liked to do. It was just kind of like no fun in life. It was very robotic just going through the motions.
Speaker 2:When I was signed off, when I was eventually, practically as a grown woman, nearly dragged to the doctors by my mum who said if you don't go, I will come and physically take you myself. So I get. Well, I know, yeah. So I went and I was signed off longer term, and I'd just like to say prior to that I had actually already been signed off once. But I only took a few weeks because I thought in my head well, work's the problem, and if I don't go and face it, then nothing's going to change. So I went back to work thinking come on, you know, get on with this, everything will be fine.
Speaker 2:And the reality was that I went back to work and, after all the stress they'd put me under, not one thing on my desk had been touched and nothing had really been done. So I was just thrown straight back in and I lasted a few more weeks before I was then nearly physically taken to the doctors by my mum, like I said, and when it got to that point, I remember that people were speaking to me and I'm going to describe it as I could see the mouths moving, but I couldn't tell you a word. They were saying Wow, there was just nothing there. I didn't feel or think anything about anything or anyone. I was just totally numb to like absolutely everything around me. Yeah, which now, when I say it loud like so many years on, it's like how did I possibly think that was okay to be like that? You know.
Speaker 1:I suppose when you're at that point, you don't you know you've gone too far to realise.
Speaker 2:You're in too deep and it's taking hold and you can't see it. So when you've got an hour's very good going to work and putting a front on, everything's fine. So nobody actually really knew. So when I was signed off everyone was like whoa, like where's Jen gone? What's going on? But family knew and it's the people closest to you that are trying to tell you. But when you're in so deep you can't. Well, you know, I'll just know. That's the only way I can describe it really. So you can't, you can't see it really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you've got that real. I mean, we've known each other for a bit, so you've got that real worth ethic as well. But it's very important to be doing and being productive and and that energy, isn't it that's a driver that's going to override your own health.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. And you just want to get on and be capable and able, don't you? Because, importantly, there was actually a lady where I was working who'd been signed off when I was there and she'd been signed off with stress, and I feel really ashamed now to admit that I was a bit like many people said oh, what's wrong with her? I've seen her walking into town, but why is she off work? Yeah, I was like in my early 20s, you know, I was ignorant, I didn't naive, I didn't know, and now, having lived it and experienced it, I was obviously never, never things like that again. I would never make that judgment because it's, it's, it's a place to turn.
Speaker 1:You can't do that, though, and I think that's the stigma around it, that actually it's not something unless somebody is flying off the handle, it's not something you can always see, and with yourself, nobody's seeing it coming. So there is a stigma around it, definitely, and I think it's getting better, but there's a stigma you feel yourself as well, I think yeah absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1:I've been in them, places where I was stressed and not realising how much it was affecting everything in my life. But you just keep going. You just, you know you power through and it just destroys everything around without realising that you know you're going in and putting this front on but actually Totally yeah, totally dying inside.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. You do feel like you're dying inside. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think back now to some of the jobs and some of the people I worked for and, yeah, the worst points in my life. That's why I am now a leadership and mindset coach.
Speaker 2:It gets you where you are, doesn't it? Yeah, it does.
Speaker 1:So it helps, but you know, you know where.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I was signed off long term and those early months it was my husband. Well, he wasn't my husband then, actually, but he's now. So if he stuck by me, which is great.
Speaker 1:He's stuck by you.
Speaker 2:He used to come and say what have you done today? And I was like well, I got up and I brush my teeth and I got dressed and I took the dogs for a walk.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And he was like, is that it? And I'm like, because that was literally I was so burnt out that was literally all I could do it physically and mentally like cope with in a day which, if you know me, like what I achieve usually in a day, is like far away from that. So that was a real, real shock. So, part of that being off, I was sent for different kind of counselling and CBT and trying this and trying that, and I don't think any of it really worked, if I'm honest.
Speaker 2:And at the time I think because I was in the headspace where I just really wanted somebody to flick a magic switch and make it all go away and make it all better. It wasn't happening quick enough and I was like, well, this has got to be something. So you know, you try all these different things. And then I woke up one day and something just clicked and I just thought there's only one person that can make this better and that's me. Wow, I didn't have a clue how that was going to be possible, but I knew I had to stop holding on for other people to make it right and trying to hold other people accountable. For why wasn't I like getting better?
Speaker 2:That's a big realisation, yeah, and I don't honestly know where it came from. It was just there and, don't get me wrong, nothing magic happened from that. But there was something in the back of my head that was saying you know you need to do. I didn't know what to do. If I'm honest, I did not have a clue. Yes, I knew something had to change and I actually decided to do some training.
Speaker 2:So, because of the irritable bowel that was brought on by stress, I developed an interest in nutrition, because I had to change what I was eating. And I thought, well, I'll do a course, learn a bit more about nutrition. And I was looking at courses and I thought, well, if I'm going to do a course, I might as well get a recognised qualification. And the other thing alongside the nutrition was exercise. So even in the height of that really bad period before I got signed off, I still religiously went to an exercise class twice a week and I used to stand in the queue I'm going home, I'm staying, I'm going home, I'm staying. Please take my money, start the class, I'm going home, I'm staying. It was mental battle. Yeah. Once I'd done it, I came out feeling so much better. So at that point I recognised like the power of exercise for helping me feel better in the situation I was in. So I'm telling you that because what I decided to do was to do a personal training diploma.
Speaker 1:I just thought yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 2:So I did it. I rang up a book and I started that training while I was still off work maybe not, in hindsight, the best idea, but I did and somehow I managed to get through the training. I'm still not quite sure how I did, because mentally my head still wasn't in the game, but I did, yeah. And then I met this local guy who had like a health and rehabilitation gym working with people with all different kinds of illnesses and that sounds really good because I'd already seen the power of exercise for myself. And I went to see him and he said, yeah, you carry on with your training. And I came away a bit disappointed because he didn't have any jobs. And then a few weeks later he just rang me out of the blue and offered me a job.
Speaker 2:So I took it and I left all the crap behind that was in that really stressful office based job, yeah. So I thought, yeah, this is it, this is like the fresh start I need and everything felt really good. It wasn't stressful, it was really enjoyable, it was really laid back. I was working generally with like the older population, sort of 65, 70 upwards. It was a really good crack all day with them. You know as well as doing the exercise. But what I will say although that was a huge change and I didn't have that stress anymore, it was always underlying. Yeah, like I can only just describe it can't think like the words I use now but it was always just under there, very close to the surface.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you hadn't dealt with it.
Speaker 2:I think for many things.
Speaker 1:Buried it and the external got a bit better.
Speaker 2:I did nothing. I left the job. I got a new job and thought everything was going to be fine. So it was buried. But it was there. It was very close to the surface and like the slightest little thing would just tip me over the edge and I'd be like, really, you know, upset and back in that place. But I still didn't do anything because I didn't know what to do. So I just, I'll get better, I'll get better. So I just carried on as you do and it wasn't a bad few years, like it was a heck of a lot better than it was. But you know, when you just know, you're still not yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so tell us more about what happened next.
Speaker 2:So from that I then there was work in there I then we started to try for a family and then I couldn't conceive. So then we had to go through IVF, which was really stressful. And then we'd also bought a house that needed renovating. So then we were also living with my in-laws. So now I say this out loud so I was going through IVF, I was renovating a house, I was living with my in-laws and I was going to work full time. So that was a whole new level of stress.
Speaker 1:Don't make anything easy for yourself. I'm not really knowing.
Speaker 2:When I say out loud now I'm like, seriously, what were you thinking? But you just life flows, doesn't it? And you just do the next thing. So anyway, that went on and the IVF wasn't successful and we were due to have another round because my husband said don't have any regrets. I didn't want to because it was pretty grueling. And he was like, let's just do it, and then we can you know you won't have any regrets whereas mine was like, can we just not do it and get on with life? Yeah, for me life felt very much on hold at that point. We decided to go for our next prescription and it was just before Christmas. We were going to travel up to Newcastle to the hospital to pick it up and four days before we were due to go I found I was pregnant. So that was a lovely icing on, you know, like nice way for it to happen, as well, I had then had quite a stressful pregnancy and various things going wrong.
Speaker 2:I then had a really stressful birth various things went wrong there and a long recovery, but then I was off on maternity leave. So I was just in this amazingly happy bubble with my baby. But when I look back now, there was still a lot of moments within that where I was having complete meltdowns because I still hadn't dealt with the stress. Yeah, so the stress from the work, then the stress from everything else leading up to that point.
Speaker 1:It becomes your emotional state. Even though we don't want the stress and we don't like the stress, it becomes your normal operating mode.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it was definitely mine for years and it's not until now, when I'm really out of it, that I realise my maternity leave was wonderful, but there was still a lot in there that was just reacting because I still hadn't dealt with that internal and sort of the mental, the mental yeah, the mental side of this.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I then decided I didn't want to go back to work. I decided I wanted to set up my own business, and that came about because I was always out having dogs. You've got to be out. So even if I'd had sleepless nights, even if I was having like a bad day with my son, I had to take the dogs out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I used to drag in my feet sometimes I don't want to do this, I'm exhausted, you know. Yeah, but like 20 minutes in I was bouncing. I felt amazing, come home like a different person and it got to the point where I used to just used to pack lunch and bottles and I'd just take off with the pram and the dogs and I'd just been out as much as I could anywhere, yeah, and I was like well, where's all the other mums? Why is nobody else out with the babies, like benefiting from this? So from that I decided I would set up an outdoor postnatal exercise class to get mums and babies out. So that was my business for quite a few years. However, still renovating the house, still with a small baby, running a business hadn't dealt with all the other stuff I've just told you about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's no surprise that burnout number two wasn't very far away. Yeah, and it actually hit me when COVID happened. Actually, because the November before that I knew that if I'd been employed by someone, I would have gone to the doctors and I would have been signed off with stress. Yeah, stress, anxiety and depression like last time. But I was self implied. So how could I possibly go and be signed off because who was going to do my job? So come on, jen, you can do this head down, crack on.
Speaker 2:You know, and I hid this like my husband didn't know how I was feeling, nobody really knew. I just tried my best to cope with it and get on like I always do. So I was forced to stop because I couldn't do my business job when COVID hit and I just remember turning around to my husband saying, thank God, somebody has given me permission to stop, and he looked at me and he realized then and I remember just it was like I describe it well it was a burnout. It wasn't quite as severe as the first one, but I just felt like I'd hit the wall. So from like, was it March, kind of March, april time when that happened? Yeah, don't think I came to until about September. It took me months. So for me I had that feeling of guilt because I knew COVID was like a really, really stressful time for a lot of people. Yeah, but for me I was just so grateful that somebody had allowed me to stop.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then I was just. A lot of people felt that as well, I wouldn't, you know. It was a time to pause and reflect, and a time where you would never normally get.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So within however many weeks into that time, I was just like what am I doing? And this has got to stop. Like I've got a son, like he's four years old and I'm in this state, like what is this about? And that was like my turning point yeah, I've got some things really got to change now. This cannot go on, mm-hmm. So I decided to all the stuff I'd been told about for years that I'd just kind of like, yeah, I had time, you know, about taking better care of myself, yeah, setting boundaries, all that sort of stuff that I knew about. But I just dismissed yeah, although to some extent I did try a lot of that stuff. But previously I was so frazzled and so wound up, mm-hmm, I just couldn't. I just couldn't do it. Does that make sense? I remember going to a yoga class and I couldn't sit still to be there. I was just so agitated all the time. Yeah, so I had doubled in the past, but I'd never really fully committed to.
Speaker 1:I suppose it's like when you exercise, if you're a bigger size, then you just wait, train without doing the healthy eating and losing the weight. You're just building the muscle on top of what's already there, so you're just getting bigger in a sense, whereas, yeah, you're getting firmer, but once you stop the weights it just goes back to what was there. Yeah, I always think of that kind of analogy you just build it on top of something, but you're not removing what's already underneath, so you're not taking that layer of fat out Absolutely.
Speaker 2:So I started making many changes, particularly business side. I put a lot more boundaries in place and started making a bit more time for myself and I did feel better. But something still wasn't right, yeah, and I couldn't really put my finger on it. I just felt really, really unsettled and my mind was just racing like 24 seven. I used to call it messy. I think the first time I approached you I was like my head's a mess.
Speaker 1:I remember that conversation. I can describe it.
Speaker 2:It just never stopped, like everywhere I was, there was just all this stuff flying around watching I do, should I do this, should I do that? I didn't know what to do with my business, I didn't know what to do with this, with that, and yeah, things were better, but they still really weren't better. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. And I kind of got to December of that year after COVID and I was just like I need some help, I need some more support off somebody because I've done all this other stuff, but there's like something up here that's holding me back.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, that's when I approached you and said hey, Rachel, what you have me. I didn't look like that cool and calm, but yeah, but we met.
Speaker 1:So obviously there's a dog walking club, kind of unofficially, and I'd met you soon first through my dad, I think and just happened to meet you on a dog walk and noticed your son. I was like, oh, I think I noticed your dog. I don't even think you were with your son. And I was like, oh, you, such and such as mom, we just randomly got chatting and connected, didn't we?
Speaker 1:And you know, yeah, there was just something there and then I'm so grateful when you reached out and asked to just chat and see what could happen. Yeah, yeah, do you want to share a bit more about what kind of come to light for you through that time?
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely. So we went for a walk ourselves, didn't we? And I had a chat and I told you what was going on and I just decided to go for it, working with you, because I just knew some and had to, you know, to do something. We started working together and a big part of that, I think, for me was that timeline, that lifetime line we did together of like everything that had happened since as far back as I could remember, and being able to acknowledge all the stuff that had gone on, yeah, and to understand, yeah, that's why I'm kind of where I am and I've never been a woe is me and oh, look at me or poo me. That happened to me. I've never been in that mindset, so that's why I've dismissed so much of what's happened as being a problem, because you just pick yourself up and you get on, don't you? There's no point. But seeing that was that was a big eye opener for a start. Acknowledging that, because that's huge, isn't it? That it was all that stuff that got me to where.
Speaker 1:I was, yeah, and I think you come in with that bit of attitude you know right, let's just get on and make this better, like from now. And I'm like whoa, let's just have a look at what you've, because and I think this overresonate with so many people when you've got strong women who are career driven and really want to do something good, they can be driven so much that they do just drive over themselves in a sense and not see them things that they've actually already been through. Yeah, and I think that's where you were at the time. You just like, right, let's move on, get this better. But actually you weren't seeing everything that you'd actually overcome already. No, definitely not.
Speaker 2:And I don't think I really appreciated how all the stuff had impacted me because, like I say, I'm not a kind of feel sorry for myself. You just pick yourself up when I get on the next thing and it's kind of packed and done. But to acknowledge that is huge, it's obviously having a huge impact on you as a person, isn't it? Yeah, and it's a reminder, like you just said, that you haven't already overcome so much.
Speaker 2:So, although yeah you're not in a good place, other place you want to be, you've still already. I've gone through a lot and overcome a lot, so, and I had to sit with a lot of uncomfortable things, didn't I, rachel, yeah?
Speaker 1:We had a lot of conversations about guards and walls open. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And one of the things that really sticks out for me and I still giggle about this and I thought about it the other day actually was Rachel said to me about relaxing more and I literally just laughed in your face, didn't I, yeah? I was like, yeah, right, whatever, that's just never gonna happen. Like no, wasn't it? Yeah, because I just didn't have the ability. I think it stressed you out the thought of it. It totally did. I was like no, that's not possible, because I've just spent so many years go, go, go, do, do, do and just so wound up and like I was like no, no no, no, I'm not gonna relax.
Speaker 2:However, at the time I started working with you, I did purposely not take on additional stuff at work because I knew I wanted that breathing space to work through this stuff. Yeah, and that, for me, was probably one of the biggest uncomfortable parts was having nothing to do and being comfortable with it. Yeah, that was the biggest challenge, one of the biggest challenges.
Speaker 1:Yeah, probably the biggest lesson you needed.
Speaker 2:Oh God, yeah, to slow down and just take a breath. Yeah, we worked through all various things, didn't we? It was specifically around mindset, yeah, and I remember we'd only been working together a few weeks and my head already felt clearer. Yeah, like I could go on a walk and my mind wasn't like racing 10 to the dozen. Yeah, the key thing for me was like journaling and I still do that every day now Like that was massive and I used to tell my nose up at stuff like that Me too. That's like meditating or whatever.
Speaker 1:If somebody told me, like seven years ago, journaling, gratitude and meditation was going to completely transform your life, I would have laughed in their face. I'd have been exactly the same.
Speaker 2:Yeah right, yeah, yeah, then it works, doesn't it? And then you hook right in, yeah, so yeah, I was sat at home one night. My husband was at work, I was sat on the sofa with one of my dogs, just not doing anything in particular. I think I had the TV on See, that wasn't doing anything in particular. How good is that? Yeah, and I just this is no word of a lie, what I did I just went, you know what I could do? And my dog looked at me and I genuinely did say this out loud, I'm not making this up I was like I could be a wellness coach and I could, like, help all the women now overcome stress so they don't have to suffer like I did.
Speaker 2:And then I was like, is there even such a thing as a wellness coach? So I got on the computer out and I started Googling and I found there were such things as wellness coaches, like, oh, this is really good. And I was really excited. And then, of course, I talked myself out of it because I thought, oh, that's a ridiculous idea, because you're going to be working for Rachel for a few weeks. How could you possibly make a big decision like that? But it never went away. No, and I just kept looking at it and then I don't quite know what happened to me. I thank you for this. Yeah, I just decided to go for it. And I didn't just go for it, I really went for it. I wrapped my business up, I told everyone I was finishing and I signed up to train to be a wellness coach. Yeah, and I was just like that.
Speaker 1:And I always remember, on that first walk I said to you there is something so much bigger that you meant to be doing. You just got to find what it is. And you were like. I remember you looking at me like this is going crazy.
Speaker 2:I look at you like that many times.
Speaker 1:Like what is she on about? What is it? I was like I just want to feel better. Now I'm not worried about bigger, but I was like I can and I suppose that's my saving power. I see that potential and I see what's coming in a sense and supposed to be an intuitive. I've seen that. And to get there within, you know, like three sessions, you booked six sessions, jen, and you didn't even need the six till.
Speaker 2:You know, probably a year later you had wobble earlier this year or last year, didn't?
Speaker 1:you and I took it. You'd done five and you were, you know, flying and it. It's just and this is what I say to people it's just about really calming all that busy nonsense thoughts that we have and letting you true self really show you the way. And that's a bit we don't do when we're stressed and we're we're in that state.
Speaker 2:So that's definitely the biggest lesson for me, that just quite in all that crap down, that just goes round and round, because even now, naturally, you still have those moments where the mind takes over, it gets busy, but then I generally go out and I meditate and I go for a walk and the stuff that just like comes through to you without thinking, because you're not weighed down by all that rubbish that, because it is rubbish, isn't it, it's just like nonsense.
Speaker 1:And it's not true.
Speaker 2:No, so, yeah. So I started my training and what was really interesting, they encourage you, as you're doing it, to still work on elements of your wellbeing. So the way that they taught this, they had these, this thing called Wellness 360, which was 12 elements that affect your wellbeing. So like things that indirectly affect you and things that indirectly affect you, and every single one of them was something. I'd experienced, an element of every single one of them, but just on my own personal journey of trying to find the way and trying to find the answer. So it was like all these, like pieces of this puzzle just slotting into place, and I'd already lived every element of it.
Speaker 2:And what I realized from that? That all the stuff I'd done before I met you, the missing piece for me was mindset. Yeah, because I've done all the other stuff but asked, I was still really really stuck and still really not in a particularly good place. Yeah, like obviously much better. But you know, and I said to you, just something's not right and I just can't quite, can't crack up my finger on it. And it was mindset. Yeah, yeah, it's been.
Speaker 1:Belief you could have a successful business was really the shift that we were battling with, in a sense that you'd had so much struggle in it that you just couldn't see that. How could it then just be easy?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you did shift that, yeah. So I really, I really went into it because I've been asked various questions by business people of like you know who's your target market and what you're doing? This, that in the far and I was like I have no grand plan. You know, like Sam brings a product to the market and they're going to sell this wonderful face creamer that does such and such. I have no grand plan. It was just this really natural journey and I ended up training to do that because of my journey, yeah, and I specifically want to help with the women because I don't want other women to suffer like I did.
Speaker 1:Like.
Speaker 2:I spent 12 years. Yeah 12 years of like that, from that first when, well, from when stressed, the first symptoms started creeping in, so like coming out the other side, yeah, and I just wish like there's a lot of wish I've known. I wish I'd known, I wish I'd understood, I wish I'd known the implications of it long term, rather than being naive and Thinking everything would be okay, you know, and I just think that if I can help other women, yeah and I know that people generally come for help when they're broken.
Speaker 2:I'd love to catch them all before the broken, but I know that's not human nature. Yeah, but even to help people come out of it quicker, yeah, not spend 10, 12 years like trying to work it out on their own. If they could do it in 12 months? Yeah, it's not a quick fix. It takes Trial and error and finding what works for you. But to have somebody to guide you who gets it, it's, it's huge, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and as you were telling me story, I was saying you know you can't connect the dots at the time when you're in it, but when you look back you can Put it all together and the map of the journey you've been on has got you exactly to where you meant to be in the thing that you meant to be doing. Unfortunately, you took a series of not so nice events to get you there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do. I was thinking, if you saying that you're exactly where you supposed to be yeah, I always have that in my head when I'm having like a little wobble about something. I might know you're exactly where you're supposed to be, but I've always, interestingly, had that view that everything happens for a reason. Yeah, I think like, even though I've always had that, I never really fully got it. Yeah, I'm here doing this because now it all makes more sense. Yeah, if you get me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the thing is, you know Everything aligns to where you meant to be and to push you into your highest version, but you've that mindset bits the key. So the choice to actually pursue that and become who you are now Is a choice, whereas you could have quite easily Carried on in a space of just repeating that cycle totally. So you know, that's where the people who are here to make real impact for people Make that choice that actually I'm gonna use all of that and do something good with it.
Speaker 2:And I know like the big key thing for me is all that stuff that I doubled in. It's now a daily routine. Yeah, I do stuff every day because I was coaching someone today and she's like so you mean, you still like, you still do, you still do stuff to manage your stress and I'm like, well, yeah, totally like I know in my fitness like when I had my fitness business, people can't be a good running. Because I was a personal trainer, I'm like hate running. Why would I want to go running? And I hate taking things. I'm just human. Yeah, so like I still have to do things daily.
Speaker 2:And what when I say do things earlier? A journal. Every morning I meditate, I do a yoga. That that's my morning routine. Yeah, I'm awesome. I'm out in the fresh air, I go for walks quite a lot and I have to do everything's every day and I I notice them. I notice when I don't do it. It's very easy for me to go back and select things get on top of me and things to get too much. But yeah, I manage it. So, yeah, I don't have that stress. It's hard to explain.
Speaker 1:I don't have the stress I had, but Could I could still easily be stressy kind of well, you know, I always think of it as like proactive and reactive moments when it comes to stress. So and building you your fuel tank. So, when you think of our stress levels, our resilience is a fuel tank in a sense, and if we just keep depleting it without feeding it, we're gonna get to empty soon. And so you've got you. You know you're proactive things that you do every day, like you say. So what that does is it builds up that fuel tank Constantly. So, yeah, there's gonna be things coming out of it, there's gonna be stressful situations every single day that people deal with, but if you're not pouring into it daily, then you're gonna be running on empty quicker. Yeah, and then you've got that.
Speaker 1:You know the things you do in the moment. So once you have that stressful situation, you have them things. If you have a stressful situation or somebody talks to you out of line or something, you have them Mechanics that you put in place to calm you down at the moment. So you'll take a deep breath or you'll go out for a walk or them type of things, but they're they're reactive, there more in the moment. But what I've noticed through doing the work that we do, that I don't have the same Reaction now to them stressful situations. So because my tank is so full Most of the time and not all of the time, we are human but, you know, because it's so full most of the time, my reaction doesn't go from like not to 10. It goes from like not to a simmering seven or something. So I'm never as stressed or as flair up, because my go-to would probably be anger. Don't have that flare up of anger or feel that red mist coming over or anything like that, because my tank's full.
Speaker 2:That's what I was gonna say, that, like you call it, that topping up, it affects how you react, doesn't it? And then you, because quicker. Yeah it's kind of done and dusted as opposed to being there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so everybody needs to have those proactive techniques, you know, because Without them you just running on empty and you're not ready for anything stressful to come. You were yeah, absolutely the new business, oh, go on.
Speaker 2:I'm just gonna say, because I wanted to share this with like people that are listening, because I know what was really hard for me was that and that slowing down, that having boundaries for work, that how can I possibly get more done in less time, and I must be working all these hours.
Speaker 2:Yeah that has gone out of the window. I start work at 10 in the morning because I like to have a walk after the school drop off and get ready. I usually work till the skill pick up and I work less hours, I achieve more. I have absolutely no issue with walking away from my desk and going for a walk if I'm struggling with something, because I know that as soon as I'm on my walk it comes to me. I've got really firm boundaries. I'm now able to. When I close my computer, I'm finished. I never used to be able to like I was always working in the evenings. I've got to get going to bed because I've got to do my work and I couldn't. I've got to do stuff at the weekends. Now my Computer's awful for it's not until 10 the next morning. I don't do anything at the weekends.
Speaker 2:Now don't get me wrong. If something comes to me creative, yeah, I have a choice, I will go and do it. I just think it's a big message because I used to be very much. I've got to work all these hours because I've got business and I've got to do this, and now it couldn't be more different, really. And the big thing for me from that is being present for Owen. Yeah, because and not just Owen for the people from a husband, for family, because when you're constantly distracted, when your mind's constantly distracted, you're there, but you're not there.
Speaker 2:Yeah and a part of it for me. My son questions me Are you listening? Well, what do I just say? He's the most switched on those people that maybe are like at that point where they think they've got to work all hours. I can't possibly slow down, I can't possibly stop, I can't possibly do less more in less time. You totally can and you believe me, if I can do it, you know I was like for it or like anybody can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that was a big thing we we've worked on. It was like if you feel you can't take a day off, that's when you need to take a day off. Yeah, and it's so. It just feels counterintuitive to people, but it it works, because Once you have that freedom and you feel that relaxation, more like you say, you're not busy with the stuff that's nonsense, you're busy with the stuff that actually moves you forward, which is the difference between having a successful business or having a business that's going to burn you out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I look back now and I think all the hours I used to put in, I used to achieve absolutely naff all Really like nothing, nothing that was moving forward. I was still going with what I was doing, but it wasn't progressing my business in any way. I wasn't really achieving anything, but yeah, I had to do. I was so busy, but like what actually I was doing? Now, when I look back, I have absolutely no clue, honestly, yeah, whereas now I do know because it's, it's just there and I go with what. And don't get me wrong, I still have moments where I question and I have little wobbles and I think we all do, but I'm really, really starting to. When something comes to me Like I want to run, I'm gonna do it. I'm not just People think do they want it? Do they not know you?
Speaker 1:know, I'm just Look at this podcast. You reached out to me and said I've had this nudge to to get on the podcast. Can I come on? I was like yeah, of course. But yeah, that was something you probably would have held back from, because I think I asked you a while ago and you were like oh yeah, one day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I totally did, but yeah he wants to hear me.
Speaker 1:But yeah, and I think I'm so glad that we've went through the whole journey as well, because I think people are gonna see so much in what you've shared that actually might prompt people to go right, I need to stop, I need to do something different, and I really hope people do from this episode, because that's the point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I hope so too, because actually going over all that again is like a Huge reminder to me. Yeah, like how different, how different things are and when I am now doing what I do. You just couldn't really compare the two. And I was chatting to someone today I knew her from my previous business with with mums and babies, and she's just like, oh, my god, she's like, she's like you've gone through some kind of awakening I think they were the words she used Just looking at me, yeah, she said to me it's just like it's so inspirational to just have somebody. That's because she was.
Speaker 2:Although I put on a front before and I thought everything was Okay, I was clearly still a very different person to what I am now. And she's even looking at you like it's like huge weights being lifted and just the way you are and you don't really realize yourself. Like you know you feel better. Yeah, but it's and I know your family see but when somebody that you've not seen quite a while but you don't really know Massively what else says, it you like, oh, and it just it makes you stop and reflect.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because, again, we can get caught up with getting on with life, can't we?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I mean I've followed the stuff you do and I always comment and say, how you know, amazed when you're doing because, genuinely, from when we first met and the things that you've done since and the things you put out now, it's you are a different person completely. You know the conversation we're having now. I think you would have watched or listened somebody having that conversation back then and being like that's all right, but I can't do any of that and actually, like you know, just talking about the freedom you've got in your work and the time you've given to your family, that's such a big shift. Yeah, that first walk, I don't think you could have ever have dreamed of that was possible.
Speaker 2:Well, no, and I do like comparing to that first walk, because it just really. But no, it does, because it just takes you right back to like I mean, I wouldn't even have been in the headspace to think what was possible then and I certainly would never, ever have had been a wellness coach on the radar. That literally did. It's the weirdest feeling I've ever had. I've experienced. It literally just popped into my head out of nowhere, yeah, and as soon as it came in I was like yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that was kind of the deal. The deal was done. It took me a little while, but yeah, yeah, it's just funny how things work out. Yeah, and I do still struggle a little bit with that. Oh, I should be working a bit harder and maybe a few more hours. You know, when I'm wandering around and taking a little bit of work and feel a bit bad, but I'm like, well, no, why, if it works and I've got the balance, why wouldn't I take this as it is? You know it's possible.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that's a big thing for anybody. I mean, obviously I teach people about energetics of running a business and your business can run however the hell you want it to run. It doesn't have to be a prescribed way and your business is part of your life. It's not something that should be running you. You should be running it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that's the big difference. It's got to work for you and what you want to achieve in life, and if it's not, then something's got to change, because you've got a job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when you have a business, you do live it and breathe it because it becomes part of you. Yeah, you've got to be able to not get dragged in so much that you are like, you know all those ridiculous hours thinking you've got to do all those things, and that's something that I'm really focusing on when I'm thinking about. You know, people say how things should be done and I'm like, well, no, because that doesn't work for me. No, but I want this to be like the big thing. Like I'm working on is just like being authentic and being me, and it's got to fit into how my life is as well. Yeah, not expectations of other people.
Speaker 1:That's how success happens. You know, this is the bit that people can't get the head round. It's like they've heard all these ways to run a business, they've heard all these strategies and things they've got to do, but actually none of that works until your energy is at the peak state and your mindset is behind it. So running it in the way somebody else, it's worked for somebody else, but then your energy being absolutely zapped, is not going to attract what you want.
Speaker 2:Well, that reminds me of early days when you said to me, Jen, when I had my other business business you're like Jen, you don't need to be putting yourself out there and doing this and that, and you know you just, things will just come. And I gave you another one of my looks like yeah, right, Whatever Didn't that? Yeah, and interestingly because I consciously took that time out, I still had classes running in the background, but I wasn't promoting, I wasn't pushing things in those few weeks. After you'd said that I had more inquiries for personal training in a week than I had in years and I was like, damn it, she's right again.
Speaker 1:And you're a projector, aren't you, when it comes to human design. So I had to really concentrate on, as a projector, that invitations come to you. You're not meant to go and create that space, so get an invite and act on it, but if it feels good, but your whole being is about you becoming just the best you and everything starts to come your way. And that was a big shift, wasn't it? That you just were like what?
Speaker 2:is this woman talking about? I actually turned all those people away because I didn't want to do it, and prior to that I'd been taking them on with me. I think I need people and I need to, and my mindset had already shifted, knowing that that wasn't what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, and that's the universe, just giving you a little nod like are you sure you want to go in a different direction? And then suddenly, as soon as you canceled them, you were like, have this epiphany, yeah yeah it was.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's such an amazing story, jen. Like I'm just so glad that you've come on and shared it, and I always said I would have you on here and look at you. Now you were jumping at the chance, so I think it's changed. I know, Honestly, I can't wait to get this one out. So thank you so much. Well, thank you for having me, but is there anything you want to share about what you've got going on at the moment? You know anything you want to share with the audience how to follow you. Everything will go in the show notes as well, but anything quick you want to say about how to work with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, pretty much I offer one-to-one coaching, but I'm also at the moment, starting to set up like a series of different workshops. So, yes, that's what I'm working on at the moment, and I'm actually kind of still finding my way with what I want to do, because that's still a journey with your business, isn't it, that you try in these different things. So workshops is my next thing, and then I'll be looking to do some group programs as well. So I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 1:And that's the thing try it on, see what fits. If you don't like it, stop it. People get, so who won't have? I've got to find the right thing. I've got to put the right course out. I've got to do the right offer. No, you don't. You just do the right one for now and then, if you don't like it, you tweak it and you change.
Speaker 2:And I'm saying that I think just like strongly listen to how something feels. Because somebody suggested I do something and I was like not really sure. But then when I had an idea for this workshop, I had it. But then once I got into it it just flowed. There was no like oh, what do I put in and what do I say and what do I do. It just flowed. So to me that's the sign that that's the one to do, because I know the past one have tried to run courses or put courses together.
Speaker 2:When it's been a real struggle it's like why am I doing this? I experienced that a few times when I was doing like the specialist pelvic health programs in my fitness business, whereas when I started doing the wellness stuff, so much of it just flows. And that difference is because it comes from me. My program is from my journey. It will still help so many people because obviously it's still tailored to every individual. But that's just an amazing feeling in itself that I don't need somebody else's content or their program details or anything and it's all mine and everything just flows. Doesn't flow, then I won't battle it my death. What can I put in here? So I'm just not going to do that.
Speaker 1:Honestly, this is like mine Blovin If anybody had met Jen. I can't even remember when we started working together, but the stuff you've done and the things that you've learned and carried on learning, and just what you now apply in, I think that's when you won. It was, was it? But what you're applying to your business and your life, that's the key. It's not just you've learned it and you've kind of parked it and you're moving on. You're applying all this stuff and seeing the benefits of it. It's like talking to a whole new person.
Speaker 2:I'm saying it, I'm like is this coming out of my mouth? Is this me? Yeah, it just feels, it really does. Just it feels like I can't really find the words. I'd say, going from that, struggling to put programs together and to do something, you're going on other people's training courses and, because it's to do with the body, you're having to use the knowledge and the information and their guidance, but you're kind of trying to be you in them. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It always felt a real struggle, yeah, whereas now it doesn't. I even put a post out the other day which I couldn't believe I did myself, because even last year I approached someone about doing a talk at one of the sessions and she was like, well, what's your specialty? And I was a bit like oh, and I started tripping over myself. But even within 12 months, I put a post out the other day saying I class myself as an expert in stress management and it isn't because I've been on a fancy training course, it's because I've lived it and I've breathed it and I know firsthand how it affects you and what it takes to overcome it. Yeah, I would never have said that 12 months ago. I'd have been like, what do I do? You are an expert in stress management. Yeah, that's a massive difference. So, even as these last few months have passed, things are still moving and the big thing as well.
Speaker 1:putting the dots together in the two journeys you were probably the first person that I supported through an entrepreneurial journey. I'd worked with entrepreneurs before, but more from a point of view connected into their intuition, whereas actually we dove deep into your business and your personal side of how that works, so probably birthed what I'm now doing, where I'm working with more entrepreneurs than the energetics of their business. So you've probably spiralled a path in me as well. That's opened a new door. It's interesting that all works, isn't it?
Speaker 2:It is yeah it really is.
Speaker 1:It's just amazing to see it in real life and be able to talk about it, especially in a way that hopefully will help so many people.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, I hope so, because even just talking to you about it today, I do reflect on it myself. But it's like anything when you say it out loud.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you really go right back and then to where I am now. I mean transformation really isn't it. It is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you should be proud, it's amazing. Thank you. Well, thank you for joining me and I will pop everything in the show notes of how to follow you and how to work with you and how to get on one of those workshops. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2:But thanks again, thank you for having me. I've enjoyed it.
Speaker 1:I hope you agree how incredible this episode was. Jen shares so much about how she manages her own stress now, how she felt when she was in burnout and what that meant to her life, her family, how she's learned to actually let go, manage her own diary, do things that feel uncomfortable, as in like, take a break, go and get outside and walk when she wants creative ideas. Do all the things that back in the day she would never, ever have done. So if you're in that space where you're feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling stressed, please reach out to Jen, because she can really help you move through from that point of feeling overwhelmed to actually thriving in life and who doesn't want to be thriving? So make sure you follow Jen on social media. Make sure you contact her if you're feeling like you want to work with her deeper, because she is incredible. So I hope you enjoyed this episode and make sure you follow Jen and follow her story and reach out if you need help and support. Hey.