Ready to transform your dating life and step into new relationships with confidence? Discover valuable insights on asserting yourself, healing from past traumas, and trusting yourself as you navigate the dating world.
We'll explore the importance of speaking your truth and being clear in your intentions, as well as confronting past issues before venturing into new partnerships. Remember, you deserve a healthy, happy relationship, so don't hesitate to invest in your emotional well-being.
But that's not all! We also tackle the impact of professional burnout on relationships and how to manage high-functioning anxiety.
Learn about the crucial role self-care plays in healing from past traumas and the importance of seeking professional help when needed.
Share this enlightening conversation with friends and family who may be struggling with their own confidence in dating, and together, let's create a happier, healthier future in love and connection.
To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
Ready to transform your dating life and step into new relationships with confidence? Discover valuable insights on asserting yourself, healing from past traumas, and trusting yourself as you navigate the dating world.
We'll explore the importance of speaking your truth and being clear in your intentions, as well as confronting past issues before venturing into new partnerships. Remember, you deserve a healthy, happy relationship, so don't hesitate to invest in your emotional well-being.
But that's not all! We also tackle the impact of professional burnout on relationships and how to manage high-functioning anxiety.
Learn about the crucial role self-care plays in healing from past traumas and the importance of seeking professional help when needed.
Share this enlightening conversation with friends and family who may be struggling with their own confidence in dating, and together, let's create a happier, healthier future in love and connection.
To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
I know you're enjoying the episode, but I want to say that maybe you've been listening to the episode and you're thinking I would like to work on my confidence or I'm not happy where things are at in my life and I could benefit from talking to a professional. If that's you, visit my website or click the link below, schedule your consultation and let's see if we're a good fit to work with each other. All right, now let's get back to the episode. All right? all right, we are back for another episode of the Peace and Prosperity podcast And y'all know who I am getting right into it. So today we are going to talk about how to date with confidence.
Speaker 1:
Now this one comes up because a lot of times I'm talking to men, and sometimes women too, and they're not just they're not sure how to get back out there and really do it in a way that they feel comfortable or they can believe in their dating abilities. So we're going to talk about this And I want you to make sure you say to the end because I'm really going to break it down in a way that you can have some practical things to do and not feel so overwhelmed with dating And also, how do you date and really feel like you're doing it the right way or in a way that you feel good about. So the first thing I want you to do is make sure that you assert yourself. Sorry, y'all, i'm excited about this one because this is a topic that it comes up so often, especially for my brothers. I want you to assert yourself. What does that mean? That means, if you're dating somebody and you know you're feeling them, you know you want to take it to the next level. Speak up. Don't feel like you have to wait on that person to give you the clues or the signals or all the signs Like no, go ahead and really say what you want, mean what you say, and when you do it, i want you to take inventory of how does your voice sound Like. Are you clear? Are you direct? How is your body language? Are you looking at your head down or are you really saying it in a way where that person hears you and they feel you And they know that when you say it, you really do mean it.
Speaker 1:
So let me give you an example. If you're dating somebody and they say, hey, when are we going to hook up or when are we going out? If you're going to be assertive, this means that you are already scheduling the date, the pickup time, where y'all eating at the place afterwards. You got it all laid out And you do this because you know that what you're doing is the right thing. You're not second guessing oh, is she going to like this or is he going to be feeling me in this way? No, i want you to do it and do it boldly. One people always respect confidence, but then you also will feel better about yourself when you do that. So don't wait on somebody else to give you all of these signals. Go ahead and step up and do it yourself.
Speaker 1:
The second thing that I want you to do this one is probably even more important than the first one, honestly, but you have to heal the past trauma. Now I know you, like Jason. Where are you going with this? We talking about dating with confidence and here you go talking about past trauma.
Speaker 1:
Well, this is the thing you're not gonna be able to really have healthy relationships with the new person if you're still dealing with all the old baggage from those previous relationships. Like, think about it, you're trying to start something new, you know, build fresh, but all the while, this person is triggering you and reminding you of all the things that she used to do that you thought you forgot about. So every time she, you know, says something, or says something to you the wrong way, or she gets a little emotional in how she's talking to you, you're like, oh, here we go again. But no, this is really. It's not. Here we go again. It's that you haven't dealt with the relationship that you were in before, so you're carrying all of that over into this new relationship. It's not gonna work. What you're gonna find yourself is in a new relationship but dealing with old problems.
Speaker 1:
So you have to start to really heal those past wounds and don't bring that into the new situation Because, trust me, it's gonna show up and then you're gonna be blaming that person, feeling like, oh well, she just like the last person I dated. No, what's happening is you're finding yourself dating the same person over and over again because you never healed from the relationship the five years ago, 10 years ago. It could even be like a college relationship that you still have not worked through in process. So don't try to get into something new until you've healed the past wounds. And this shows up all the times and couples. Couples will come in and say that you know their partner is hurting them in this way, or they talking down to them, and this is a trigger for them, which it very well may be, but it's also compounded because you never addressed it, from when you were a child and it didn't go right with your parents, or when you had a previous relationship and that didn't end well. So you've just been trying to push through, push through, push through And you feel like, well, i can do it, but you can't. But how is it working out for you? So take the time to heal those past wounds. It doesn't mean that you, you know you can't date or you got to put your whole life on hold, but what it does mean is that you're now not only dating with confidence, but you're dating responsibly, like when you show up into a new situation or you're dating somebody new and they say, well, you know why you been. You know you get the question why you been single. Well, i took some time out to work on me. How does that sound Like? doesn't that sound like? if you were dating somebody? wouldn't you want that person to say that they were, you know, introspective enough to say you know what. Let me not bleed my old wounds on you, but I'm going to actually take the time out to address it Like I'm going to get myself into therapy. I'm going to work on myself personally and professionally before I get into a new relationship. Like you get a lot of cool points for doing that. I know we ain't heard cool points in a minute, but what I'm saying is it's a good look. So, sisters and fellas, heal the past trauma before you get into a new relationship.
Speaker 1:
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Speaker 1:
You have to trust yourself. I've said it before, but I'm gonna continue to say it, because what can happen is when you start to date or you're dating again, you may feel like, well, i don't know how to show up. I messed this up last time. It's gonna happen all over again. So now, when you have that type of self-talk, you're just shooting yourself in the foot every time you're self-sabotaging And it also says that you don't trust that you can be great in a new relationship. You have to trust yourself because if you don't, your confidence is gonna look like this, like if you get, i know, some of y'all listening, but it's gonna look real small. It's gonna look like you don't have any confidence because you're showing up like this, like you got your head down, you're talking low, you're not even dressing appropriately. When I say appropriately, i mean you're not letting yourself and your personality shine through.
Speaker 1:
Like, if you're gonna date with confidence, you're gonna have to go all in Meaning. You got to first bet on yourself. Why would somebody else wanna take a gamble with you? Cause that's really what it's gonna be right. They're gonna gamble with you and you don't even trust yourself. If you don't trust yourself, to put all your chips on you, nobody else would either. Like that would be a foolish bet.
Speaker 1:
So put yourself in a position where you show up with the confidence you trust who you are. You know who you are because the more you know yourself, you're going to be able to trust yourself. All of that is going to shine through in the first date, the second date, all the way to marriage and kids, if that's what you're looking for. But when you don't trust yourself, you're going to show up in a very timid manner. You're going to be walked over. You're going to not be able to make decisions. Oh, where are we going next? I don't know. I don't know. It's not a good look for a dating relationship or just in general. So really start to do the work that you have to do so that you can trust yourself and you can do it with confidence.
Speaker 1:
The next thing I want you to do when we talk about dating and dating with a great sense of confidence you have to set standards, meaning you're not just dating any and everybody, right? Because I think sometimes I'm going to lay back on this one. I think sometimes we feel like that well, if the last relationship didn't work out, i just got to take what I can get. And if you listen to the podcast, you're not a take what you can get type of person. So if you're not a take what you can get type of person, why are you getting into a leftovers type relationship? That don't even sound right. You're just taking the scraps, meaning you're dating just whoever, instead of going for somebody and I'm going to put on the scale. But instead of going for that person who you feel like is a 10 for you, you're like, well, i don't deserve a 10 or I don't my standards, i want a 10, but instead you just dating five, twos and you're going to add them all up to be a 10. Like, no, you're wasting your time and you're wasting that other person's time. That's just standards. If you want somebody who can match your energy because that seems to be the thing now you got to match my energy, you got to match what I'm doing Say that. But then you got to make sure that that energy. You're coming with it too. Or else if you're kind of dating low, like that, then that means that's how you feel about yourself. You want a 10, but you acting and showing up like a two, it's not going to work, it's not. Which really brings me full circle to the last one.
Speaker 1:
If you're going to date with confidence, you have to step your game up. What does this mean? This means, from the moment that you set the date, be at a nice place, a nice restaurant, somewhere where you feel comfortable talking about it. Because sometimes I think we do things and we don't even feel comfortable sharing our experiences, because we know it was trash, we know we didn't put enough energy into it, so we just we downplay everything You know. Step your game up Also when it comes to how you show up, not just personality, but even in your dress, your appearance. Make sure you're well grown, you manicure, smelling good, looking good. Put some energy and effort into it. When you start to do that, people around you will have no other option but to respect you And you're going to feel like, oh, i deserve that respect, i've earned that respect. So now let's break it down.
Speaker 1:
If you're dating with confidence number one you have to be assertive, know if ands or buts. This is, you're not playing small, no more. You're actually saying this is what I want And I'm going for it. I'm being vocal about it. Number two you have to heal past trauma. You cannot just keep hopping from relationship to relationship to relationship and thinking that if you have wounds from those past relationships that you don't address them Like that's ignorant to think that And you're doing yourself and that other person a disservice.
Speaker 1:
Number three you have to trust yourself. Meaning at this point in time, if you don't assert yourself, you don't set those standards, how are you going to trust yourself? If you're not willing to bet on you? meaning that you don't even trust you, how will somebody else trust you? It starts with the end. So if you need to give more to yourself, do it.
Speaker 1:
Number four set the standards. Stop being upset when you say you want something but then you don't put in the work to go get it. Like you're dating below what you want And that's because you're not feeling comfortable and confident to attract who you want. Be that person first, which? number five you've got to step your game up. Don't play around with it. Maybe you feel like well, i want a person who can provide for me, but can you provide for yourself? Do you need more education? Do you need a promotion? Do you need to get your side business really going? Whatever you need, go ahead and be aggressive with that.
Speaker 1:
I'm going to leave you all with this. Playtime is over. So if you want to date with confidence, now is your time. I would advise you. I have some.
Speaker 1:
Go listen to the previous episodes with Dr Jack. She's great. Go check her out, but be willing to do the work on yourself. All right, y'all, as always, be blessed Peace. And if you enjoyed this episode, make sure you tap in with myself and Dr RJ, because this Tuesday, may 30th, at 8pm Eastern, we're going to be talking about how Professional burnout is ruining your relationship. Yes, and we're gonna talk about what to do about it. So that's May 30th, 8 pm Eastern. We're gonna be streaming live on Facebook, youtube and LinkedIn. All right, can't wait to see y'all there. ["best, professional burnout is ruining your relationship.
Speaker 1:
Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. Again, if you are feeling like, hey, i'm experiencing high functioning anxiety, don't beat yourself up about it. It is okay. We all experience anxiety from time to time And I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own, but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through. Okay, and lastly, make sure, if you have not like share, subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend, and if you want to hear certain episodes or have certain conversations, let me know. You can shoot me a DM or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up. All right, y'all be blessed, peace.
