The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.
Here's a peak of what to expect in this episode:
Have you ever found yourself concealing your emotions after a grievous loss? Are you, like many high achievers, trying to maintain an image of strength and resilience in the face of adversity? I'm Jason Phillips, a Therapist and Confidence Expert, and I've seen this all too often in my clients. It's an unspoken struggle many of us grapple with, but acknowledging and expressing the grief, sadness, depression, and guilt that comes with such a loss is not only okay but necessary. Let's pause and reflect on the importance of emotional honesty in our healing process. We'll discuss the effects of internalized grief and how you can take the first steps towards overcoming it.
Moving forward, we'll also address another significant issue high achievers face – anxiety. We'll step into the daunting realm of managing anxiety and building confidence. I'll share practical advice and insights, reminding you that it is okay to ask for professional help if needed. Together, we'll navigate the path of self-affirmation and reassessment of priorities. This episode is not just about shedding light on these unspoken challenges but offering guidance and encouragement to those wrestling with them. Hop in and join me on this journey towards emotional healing and self-discovery - a conversation that expands into mental health and personal growth. It's time we tackled these issues head-on.
To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.
Here's a peak of what to expect in this episode:
Have you ever found yourself concealing your emotions after a grievous loss? Are you, like many high achievers, trying to maintain an image of strength and resilience in the face of adversity? I'm Jason Phillips, a Therapist and Confidence Expert, and I've seen this all too often in my clients. It's an unspoken struggle many of us grapple with, but acknowledging and expressing the grief, sadness, depression, and guilt that comes with such a loss is not only okay but necessary. Let's pause and reflect on the importance of emotional honesty in our healing process. We'll discuss the effects of internalized grief and how you can take the first steps towards overcoming it.
Moving forward, we'll also address another significant issue high achievers face – anxiety. We'll step into the daunting realm of managing anxiety and building confidence. I'll share practical advice and insights, reminding you that it is okay to ask for professional help if needed. Together, we'll navigate the path of self-affirmation and reassessment of priorities. This episode is not just about shedding light on these unspoken challenges but offering guidance and encouragement to those wrestling with them. Hop in and join me on this journey towards emotional healing and self-discovery - a conversation that expands into mental health and personal growth. It's time we tackled these issues head-on.
To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
Welcome to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. I'm your host, jason Phillips, licensed Therapist, confidence Expert, and today we're going to be talking about how to manage depression after a loss. Now we're going to get into this because I'm particularly talking to my high achievers on this episode. The person who just goes through things and acts like nothing is bothering them. You feel like you can just roll through all the punches. You take a loss, you bounce back and it's almost that you feel like nothing messes with you. You know what happens. The danger to that is because that's how you show up. Other people also treat you like nothing is wrong, so meaning you can have a loss, you can go through a breakup, you can go through a layoff and everybody just feels like, oh, you know what? Hey, he got it. Man, hey, jo, always bounce back, brandy, she got this. So then they don't check in on you. And then what happens is the feelings that you have internally the grief, the sadness, the depression, the frustration, the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, all of those feelings. They just get buried Because you feel like I can't show myself, because if I show them that I'm not okay, ooh, what does that mean about me. So we're going to talk about it, because you likely have been through something before, but you just did not acknowledge it. You didn't say anything, you didn't express yourself and everybody just pretended like you were okay, even you, most importantly. So we're going to get into some, some reasons or some ways to manage your feelings of depression after a loss. But I wanted to give context first, because my high achievers, the people who feel like, hey, you, you made a tep line. Nothing can break you down. You have emotions too. You have feelings, things happen to you, you hurt, but you just have not expressed yourself. So, people, they don't check in on you because they feel like you're the one who's always checking in on somebody else, so why would they start? So let's get into it.
Speaker 1:
The first thing that you have to do if you are experiencing depression after a loss, you have to acknowledge the loss. You have to really come to grips with dang. This was tough for me, you know. I didn't expect for my relationship of 10, 15 years to now go down the drain. I was the one who I always felt like we would be happily ever after. And now, because the relationship didn't pan out to you know how you wanted it to. You're feeling the shame, you're feeling embarrassed. You like, how do I even show up, knowing that this is now my trajectory? But I'm here to tell you that it's okay, and by you expressing that, what that means is that you're human.
Speaker 1:
A lot of us have experienced some things that we're not comfortable sharing, but that doesn't mean that we have to hide from it or run from it. The more that we stuff it, the more that it causes problems in other areas of our life. So the first thing I want you to do is acknowledge the loss. If you have had someone close to you pass away and since they died, you just feel like a part of you died with them, it's okay for you to say that. It's okay for you to journal about it. It's not like you expressing these feelings just makes it come true. The feelings are already there and by you acknowledging it now, you can say you know what this is real and now I can start to heal from it, I can start to deal with it. So we have to acknowledge the loss.
Speaker 1:
The second thing that I want you to do is take a break. You thinking that you can't slow down, meaning you can't take a day off work or a week off work, or maybe you got your own business. You can't take a month off. You are absolutely wrong. If you think that your team can't function without you, then I would say you're one sadly mistaken. You're probably being a little bit too arrogant about the situation or thinking too highly of yourself. And also it's foolish to feel like if you don't take a break, you're gonna break down. So I rather you, because you probably like to be in control. Right, like a lot of my high achievers, you know, you like to be in control of the situation. You like to be able to call the shots and say when things are gonna happen, well, let's be proactive and take a break, as opposed to something else happening and now you're being reactive or somebody's reacting to you and forcing you to take a break. I'll never forget, like when I lost my mom.
Speaker 1:
I had to say you know what? It's time to really reassess, reevaluate what's most important where and how do I wanna spend my time, what do I wanna give my energy to? And as much as I didn't want to, I had to slow down. I had to say you know what this is, what is a priority and this is not. This person is a priority and these people are not Doesn't mean that this person is less than or nothing like that, but I had to really look at where am I spending my energy? So I want you to do the same thing. I want you to want stop pretending that everything is okay and that it's not showing up in other areas of your life, because you might be frustrated, you're irritable and you're like I don't know where it's coming from. Well, it's coming from you not taking the time to actually process what you're going through. So you have to acknowledge it and then you have to take that break. Like self-reflection is okay. It gives you a chance to look back and see where you've been and what's been going on.
Speaker 1:
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Speaker 1:
The third thing that you have to do is you have to affirm yourself. Don't wait on somebody else to affirm you or validate how you're feeling or what you need to be doing. I want you to again take the reins and start to really affirm what's for you, affirm who you are, affirm your doepness. In spite of the sadness, the grief, the depression, you're still an amazing person. But by you looking to feel that void by other things maybe you jumping into random relationships you feel like, okay, this person don't want me no more, they don't want to treat me right, they don't want to act right. Okay, I got them, you just go right into something else. Is that affirming who you are? Are you really keeping that high standard for yourself or are you just doing what seems very easy and natural? So think about that.
Speaker 1:
I want you to affirm yourself and you may be thinking well, jason, look, I haven't really done a lot, like a lot of my life was contingent on what I was doing with that person. Is it really, or did y'all build things together Right? Because sometimes we can give one person or one situation a lot more credit than what it deserves. So I want you to really take a hardcore look at all the things that you've done and validate those things. Don't disqualify and say, oh well, this just happened to me or I was lucky, like nah. I mean, if you've done something over and over again, are you really that lucky or did you put in the work? So affirm yourself so again before I go to number four.
Speaker 1:
Number one acknowledge the loss. Let's not pretending that there's not hurt there. Number two take a break. You got to slow down. And then number three I want you to affirm yourself Now, number four, when you get to this part.
Speaker 1:
Now you are really starting to do the work, meaning there may be some tears involved, there may be some anger involved, because you feel like, man, I was in this situation for so long. How did I not see this coming? Or this loss hit me out the blue. I really wasn't prepared for it, and that's okay. But now I want you to ask yourself what does this loss mean for me? And that's an introspective question, so don't just like give yourself a real quick answer or think that's it. This is not no true or false thing. This is an open ended question where you have to really sit with your emotions and process what does this loss mean for you? And then, kind of going into number five, what do you want your life to look like afterwards?
Speaker 1:
Sometimes we go through a loss and we think that now our life is on pause. Well, who's going to hit the play button so we can keep on going Right? Are you still waiting for somebody else to come in and just like get you together? No, like. This is why I said number three. You got to affirm yourself, remind yourself who you are in spite of the loss. Just because you've experienced that loss, that does not mean that your world just stops right then and there. And that's how we sometimes can respond Like we can respond as if we're not going to make it through. But when you look back, this may have been the most devastating loss that you experienced, but it's probably not the only one.
Speaker 1:
So, if you want to think about how to manage it and how to get through these feelings, what did you do before? What did work what did not work, like maybe you were able to get through a loss before without seeking out a therapist, you didn't need a coach, you had a bad breakup and you just move right on. But now this one. You're like, ooh, this one, this one hits. Like there's kids involved or there's a marriage involved or this is your first. I mean, all of these things compound and make the loss very complex. But it doesn't mean that you can't push through it.
Speaker 1:
But, as I've said before, you cannot heal what you don't reveal. So meaning you just stuffing all these feelings inside and trying to put on that face you know what I'm saying. Like that face that oh, I'm good, I'm cool, right, like that's how you want to show up. You want people to think that you're good, and almost like you saying that is you trying to talk somebody into actually believing it and you're also trying to talk yourself into it. But that's not how it works.
Speaker 1:
Experience and sadness, experiencing feelings of loss, depression these can be natural feelings. Now, when they stay for a long periods of time, and they're more intense now, it can become a situation where you need to put more work and resources into it. But just to act like everything's okay. That's not normal. That's what's causing you to have these feelings and emotions that you don't want to sit with. We had to go there today, y'all, because so much is happening, whether it's grief from again losing family members, losing relationships, or just losing pieces of your life that you feel like you can't get back. We have to start talking about it so that we can start healing from it as opposed to running from it.
Speaker 1:
All right, y'all, we have wrapped up another dope episode of the Peace and Prosperity podcast. If you all want to hear more episodes like this, shoot me an email. Comment in the show notes or the comment section. How do you want to do it? Let me know.
Speaker 1:
If you want to hear more about loss, I know a lot of you all have said, hey, I really want to hear more about how to manage my anxiety, how to build up my confidence. So I got you and I'm not going to do it alone. I'm going to bring on some amazing guests. All right, y'all. Other than that, y'all be blessed Peace.
Speaker 1:
Thank you all for listening to another episode of the peace and prosperity podcast. Again, if you are feeling like, hey, I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety, don't beat yourself up about it. It is okay. We all experienced anxiety from time to time and I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own, but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through. Okay, and lastly, make sure, if you have not like share, subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend, and if you want to hear a certain episodes or have certain conversations, let me know. You can shoot me a DM or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up. All right, y'all be blessed, peace.
