The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.
This episode invites you on a journey to mastering gentle boundaries—a concept entwined with self-compassion that's often overlooked in our hustle culture.
Are you spreading yourself too thin and struggling to find the line between self-care and overextension?
Grasping the 'GIVE' acronym from Dialectical Behavior Therapy is like finding a secret map to a treasure trove of peaceful interactions; it helps navigate the waters of personal limits with poise and kindness.
We zero in on the power of staying engaged and present, both with others and ourselves, transforming how we approach everyday commitments. Tune in to discover how softening your internal dialogue can open doors to a world of tranquil living and more meaningful connections.
To stay connected with Jason and learn about his speaking and coaching services, connect with Jason on social media:
The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.
This episode invites you on a journey to mastering gentle boundaries—a concept entwined with self-compassion that's often overlooked in our hustle culture.
Are you spreading yourself too thin and struggling to find the line between self-care and overextension?
Grasping the 'GIVE' acronym from Dialectical Behavior Therapy is like finding a secret map to a treasure trove of peaceful interactions; it helps navigate the waters of personal limits with poise and kindness.
We zero in on the power of staying engaged and present, both with others and ourselves, transforming how we approach everyday commitments. Tune in to discover how softening your internal dialogue can open doors to a world of tranquil living and more meaningful connections.
To stay connected with Jason and learn about his speaking and coaching services, connect with Jason on social media:
I want you, as you think about how do I want to show up? What do I want my relationships to look like? What do I want the relationship with myself to look like? How can I stop over committing? I want you to be gentle when you set those boundaries, be gentle with yourself. Let's pay attention to the words we use, the language when we're talking to ourselves or about ourselves. That's the G, the I. I want you to act interested. Now, let's break that down, because that could seem a little off-putting. What do you mean? Act interested? What's up y'all?
Speaker 1:
Welcome back to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. I am excited to talk to you today, and this conversation is inspired by my colleague, dr RJ, licensed psychologist, executive, burnout coach. Shout out to Dr RJ, because we had a conversation around protecting your peace and how to do that without avoiding. Now you may be thinking what are you talking about, jason? What do you mean? There are sometimes where we over commit and what ends up happening? We end up not showing up and we say that we're not showing up because we are protecting our peace. Now here's the thing. On that, I want to say that, yes, we do need to protect our peace. We do not want to do things that are going to put our mental or emotional wellness in jeopardy. So meaning, if you know going to that family function is going to be a problem, let's not go.
Speaker 1:
Had a conversation not too long ago. Somebody said look, I stayed home, you know, be coming off the holiday season. They stayed home around the holidays and that was the best thing that they could have done. And I've been there too, where I'll look at an invitation or I'll look at gathering with some people and I think you know what. I'm just going to sit this one out because I can already tell what's going to happen if I do commit or follow through and go just to please because people want you there, and then you get back from that place that you went and feel like man, why did I do that? Now you mad at yourself, you're beating yourself up because you knew going into it that this was a bad decision. How many times have we already played it through in our minds? If I show up, yeah, they'll be happy, but I'm going to come back home just emotionally exhausted, mad at myself, because I already knew how this was going to play out.
Speaker 1:
So when I talk about the difference between protecting your peace and setting better boundaries in the beginning. That's not what I'm talking about, because there are true times where we need to say no, we need to stay home, decline in invitation, and that is perfectly okay. What I'm talking about is when we over commit, when we know we should have said no much sooner, and now what ends up happening? You look at your calendar and you think, oh, I can't do it. I can't do it. So now you back out and you say that is how you're protecting your peace. That's not how we. We want to show up. We want to start saying no much sooner.
Speaker 1:
So let me give y'all an easy way to do so, because we can be hard on ourselves. We can be truly, truly hard on ourselves. We can beat ourselves up, will criticize ourselves. But I want you to think about the acronym for those who familiar with dbt Dialectical behavior therapy.
Speaker 1:
You may be very familiar with this acronym, but it's the give acronym and the G in the give stands for Be gentle. So I want you as you think about how do I want to show up, what I want my relationships to look like, what do I want the relationship with myself to look like how can I stop over committing? I want you to be gentle when you set those boundaries. Be gentle with yourself. Let's pay attention to the words we use. You know the language when we're talking to ourselves or about ourselves. That's the G, the I. I want you To act interested. Now let's break that down, because that could seem a little off-putting. What do you mean? Act interested? It's stress and burnout taking a toll on your company's productivity and morale. Are you looking for ways to improve your employees mental health and wellness? If so, it's time to invest in mental health support for your workplace. As a mental health expert and speaker, I provide solutions for creating a happier, healthier and more productive workplace. This includes a range of services to help your employees cope with stress, anxiety and other mental health challenges. I facilitate workshops and presentations designed specifically to help your employees develop resiliency, manage stress and reduce burnout. So why wait? Make mental health and wellness a priority in your workplace today and Contact us so we can support you all. Alright, let's get back to the episode Like let's be in the moment when you're thinking about showing up, or when you do show up, act engaged, be engaged, even if, in the moment, that's not how you feel. I want you to do so because there are times when we let our emotions Trump our logic and then we can avoid because we're like you know what, I just can't. So let's act interested. There are times where you're gonna do something and initially you're like, man, I don't want to do this, I can't, and you'll. You'll try to tuck yourself out of something that may truly be a good experience For you. That's the eye. So now we got be gentle, act interested. The V is for validate. This one comes up so much, particularly in session. How are you validating yourself? Do you know what it means or feels like to validate yourself? Validation does not mean that you are right, wrong, indifferent. It's not saying it's a good thing, it's a bad thing, but it is acknowledging how you feel, what you feel, letting you know that the feelings are there, or validate your thoughts too. The thoughts that you have are there. So when you are setting boundaries, as you are protecting your peace, I want you to validate your thoughts and emotions in this process. Now I also want to say don't overthink it, because sometimes we can get into the details with this and feel like, okay, am I doing this right? Am I truly validating myself? Am I being authentic, just by you accepting your emotions? That is a part of validating them. So think about that as you are setting boundaries and not over committing. But do it early. Y'all Again, we don't want to say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and then we get to the date and we say oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't do any of this, because now it looks like we are showing up at again, as Dr RJ will say, raggedy, and then the E act in an easy manner. You want to act in an easy manner. Now, what does that mean to act in an easy manner? That meaning we want to not be so difficult, not so difficult with ourselves, not so difficult with other people. In a very simple way, it means to be more relaxed. Think about how your life would feel, or your days would go, if you were to be gentle with yourself, if you were to act interested, if you were to validate your emotions and then treat yourself and others in an easy manner. It sounds relaxing. It seems relaxing and it sounds relaxing because it is too often we are highly critical of ourselves. We are just putting so much pressure to perform, that we get stressed before the actual event, before we get into the relationship. So this acronym, or really this skill let's not even deduce it to just an acronym but this skill is something that we can apply to various facets of our lives. It's not something that you just need to apply in relationships or in professional settings or with family members. It's something that you can do in different areas of your life and notice how you start to feel, notice if you start to show up more or, when you do show up, what the outcomes are, because if you're someone who tends to people please, you probably might feel stressed quite a bit at a time, or you're wondering what does this person think about me? So it takes you away from being in the actual moment. Yeah, when it comes to protecting your peace, you got to do that, hands down. That's why this podcast is the peace and prosperity podcast, because I'm all about your peace being at the utmost important in your life. But I also want you to thrive and I want you to be able to show up, be present and keep your word, because without that, people don't. They don't believe you and you won't believe yourself, because you won't have enough experiences where you have shown up time and time again and you haven't let your emotions dictate how you're going to respond and what you're going to do. There has to be a good mix of using your logic and your emotions. Maybe we'll dive into that on the next podcast. All right, y'all listen, we are back, glad to talk with you, be with you and, as always, be blessed Peace. Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity podcast. Again, if you are feeling like, hey, I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety, don't beat yourself up about it. It is okay. We all experience anxiety from time to time and I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own, but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through. Okay, and lastly, make sure, if you have not like share, subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend. And if you wanna hear certain episodes or have certain conversations, let me know. You can shoot me a DM or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up. All right, y'all be blessed Peace.
