The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.
During this episode, Jason discusses the struggle to ask for help during personal turmoil.
Today, we confront the stigma, the guilt, and the fear that keep our lips sealed, normalizing the conversation around mental wellness with a comforting reminder: it's okay to feel pain, and it's more than okay to seek support.
This episode is for you if you:
- Have difficulty asking others for help
- Hesitate to be honest about how you are truly doing emotionally and mentally
- You feel others will judge you if you say "I'm not okay..."
This is just a SNIPPET of what we covered during this episode!!!
To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.
During this episode, Jason discusses the struggle to ask for help during personal turmoil.
Today, we confront the stigma, the guilt, and the fear that keep our lips sealed, normalizing the conversation around mental wellness with a comforting reminder: it's okay to feel pain, and it's more than okay to seek support.
This episode is for you if you:
- Have difficulty asking others for help
- Hesitate to be honest about how you are truly doing emotionally and mentally
- You feel others will judge you if you say "I'm not okay..."
This is just a SNIPPET of what we covered during this episode!!!
To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
The people who are close to you know, like the people who you trust, let them in on what's going on. This may be one or two people, right, you may not trust any and everybody with what you have going on. Personally, I get it. I truly do, because you don't want to just put your business out there in the street, but you want to sit down with that person that you do trust, who you can confide in, and have the honest conversation with them. So how do you do that? Because sometimes we struggle with the language, the words hey sis, hey bro, you got a minute. Anytime, somebody pretty much says you got a minute. This is not your everyday conversation. All right, y'all. We are back for another episode of the peace and prosperity podcast, and today we're going to be talking about how to ask for help. So I don't know if you can see my shirt for those who are watching on.
Speaker 1:
Youtube says I am not okay, and that's such a powerful statement, because there are times, then, where we're not OK, but we definitely are showing up as if we are. How many times have you been to work? Have you even been on vacation or been going through something and nobody knows? So, even at the times where you feel like or people expect you to be happy maybe you just got a raise, you could have even just had a great life changing event Like maybe you just got married, just had a baby, all these things but internally, emotionally, you are still feeling like I'm not good right now. And before we get into how to ask, I want to talk about the reasons we don't. One is because of stigma. It we feel like we are just supposed to be OK because this great thing is happening for me. Ok, I just got married. That means that I should be having the best time of my life. There's so many people who want to be married.
Speaker 1:
I feel bad for saying that I'm not in a good place, even though I have a loving spouse, even though I just had a baby, and I know there's a couple out there who's struggling with having a child, or there's somebody who doesn't even have a partner to have a child with. So then you feel very guilty, like hey, should I really be saying that I'm not good because I know somebody else has it worse than me? Well, let's say this real talk. Somebody else will always have it worse than you, but that doesn't mean that you can't say I am not okay. So when you think about realizing that you need the help, the first thing that you have to do is be okay, not comparing your situation to everybody else's situation. That's their situation and your situation is your situation. So if you're not okay, I want you to accept it and not put more pressure on yourself to hide it, to minimize it, because all you're doing is prolonging getting the help and actually owning the issue.
Speaker 1:
We had to say that first. So it's okay to realize that I'm not in a good place. Don't compare yourself to what other people have going on Now. Why don't we act like asking for help? Well, we just talked about we feel like we we should be good because we've had so many other positive things going on. Maybe our life looks good, we're in a good financial spot. So because I'm in this good financial spot, should I really complain that I'm anxious about this next big assignment or this next big career move? It's OK to say that, right, even though maybe finances are good, emotionally we're not in a good spot, and I think we're seeing this more especially with athletes coming out now. Opening up about how they're managing their mental health is making it easier for us to say, hey, I don't got 10 million or 100 million or 100,000, whatever. So I guess I can say I'm not good, because if they got all that and they're not good, I know I should be able to say I'm not OK, we got to be more vocal about that. So once you do that and you put it out there, you're honest with yourself about it You're going to feel so much relief in just saying that, hey, I'm not good right now.
Speaker 1:
So what do you do? How do you ask for help? How do you ask for help? The first thing you have to do is want acknowledge that the help is needed. The first thing you have to do is want acknowledge that the help is needed. Like you need the extra support. This means that what you're currently doing is not working. All the self-help books, all the self-help podcasts, all the journaling, the exercising, whatever that you're doing on your own, it's not working and it's okay for you to say that, like you need some extra help. That's the first thing.
Speaker 1:
Second thing that I want you to do is evaluate, like, how long has this been going on? What's the severity? Because sometimes, when it comes to asking for help one day we're really motivated to get the help. The next day really motivated to get the help the next day, not so motivated. So Monday, hey, I need to talk to somebody. Tuesday, you know what I think, I just need a break. I needed a day off work. Now, the reason why I want you to evaluate how long has this been going on, because that's going to give you some insight on is this a temporary problem or has this become a permanent problem. But I'm just now starting to look at it. So if you've been feeling like this for months on end, or even weeks at a time, it's probably you're probably not going to be able to manage this one on your own. So we're looking at the severity and the duration, or the intensity, too, because I want to know like, how long have you been in this spot?
Speaker 1:
Is stress and burnout taking a toll on your company's productivity and morale? Are you looking for ways to improve your employees' mental health and wellness? If so, it's time to invest in mental health support for your workplace. As a mental health expert and speaker, I provide solutions for creating a happier, healthier and more productive workplace. This includes a range of services to help your employees cope with stress, anxiety and other mental health challenges. I facilitate workshops and presentations designed specifically to help your employees develop resiliency, manage stress and reduce burnout. So, while wait, make mental health and wellness a priority in your workplace today and contact us so we can support you all.
Speaker 1:
All right, let's get back to the episode. Next thing I want you to do is start letting the people who are close to you know, like the people who you trust, let them in on what's going on. This may be one or two people right, you may not trust any and everybody with what you have going on. Personally, I get it. I truly do, because you don't want to just put your business out there in the street, but you want to sit down with that person that you do trust, who you can confide in, and have the honest conversation with them. So how do you do that? Because sometimes we struggle with the language. The words hey, sis. So how do you do that? Because sometimes we struggle with the language. The words hey sis, hey bro, you got a minute. Anytime, somebody pretty much says you got a minute. This is not your everyday conversation. This is not the what's up, bro, this is okay. This person needs to talk.
Speaker 1:
So right now they're already probably tuned in that you want to talk about something heavy and when you have this conversation, preferably, if you can, in person, but if not, some sort of visual mechanism, facetime, something like that right, I wouldn't definitely not over text and not over the phone if possible, because you want that person we talking about asking for help. You want that person to be able to feel your energy and see your, the body language, the nonverbal cues and be able to pick up on that. There's a lot that we can hide behind the phone. There's a lot that we can hide when they can't see us. When we're silent, because we're crying, because we're confused, because we're overwhelmed with emotion. They can't see that. Through text message they may sense it. They could think OK, I see the little thing moving the bubble, but I don't see the words. But I want you to be again, preferably face to face or, if you have to because of distance or different locations, do some type of virtual setup. Next thing I want you to do is ask them for accountability.
Speaker 1:
Once you put it out there that you need help, you're not telling that person to be your therapist. You're not telling that person to be your life coach. You're not telling that person to prescribe you medication, but accountability. Hey, I'm in a dark place, but I know when I'm on my routine I'm better. When I'm walking every morning I'm better. Can I call you? Like? Is 8 o'clock too early, 7.30 too early, 7 o'clock, whatever? Can I call you when I'm on my walk, or can you call me to see if I'm doing my walk? That's how you ask for accountability, because, well, you're doing two things You're asking for help and accountability at the same time.
Speaker 1:
Most people they're going to say yes, because they probably want. They want to help you and maybe they need to do something too. So, oh yeah, while you walk, I'll be meal prepping, or while you walk, I'll be folding my clothes. While you walk, I'll be meal prepping, or while you walk, I'll be folding my clothes. While you walk, I'll be prepping for my day. Whatever the case, like it can be something that could also help them.
Speaker 1:
The last thing that you have to do is have, when you're asking for help, especially when it's not, let's go professional. When it's professional help, I want you to be. Do your due diligence on getting the right support for you. So that means that if you call a therapist. The first person is not your person all the time. It's okay to ask some questions how would you help somebody like me in this situation and there's a whole episode on science to look for in a therapist?
Speaker 1:
I'm not going to go super down that hole, but I want to say don't feel like, just because you need help, that you have to just take whoever, even if you feel like it's not a good fit. This is still the time for you to advocate for yourself and do what feels right Y'all. It's okay to not be okay, but it's not OK to not do anything about it. Right, acknowledge that stuff ain't been right. I've not been in a good spot. Acknowledge that I do have one or two people who I can trust. I need to let them know.
Speaker 1:
And then, when you do look for help, don't just take what you can get. And then, when you do look for help, don't just take what you can get. Be selective about who is going to be helping you, like you owe that to yourself. Hey, listen, listen, listen. I really want you to send this to somebody because you're not the only person who is struggling with asking for help, especially men, with asking for help, especially men Like I know, right now I'm working with more brothers than ever, but it's still a lot of the brothers are saying I'm coming in because my wife is saying I need to talk to somebody, or you know, my confidence has been low for a minute, but I just thought I had to quote, unquote, man up. So we still need that encouragement, that accountability, and listen y'all, trust me, it's working. So I appreciate you all spreading the knowledge because by you doing so, you're not only going to be helping yourself, but you're helping somebody else in the process. All right, be blessed Peace.
Speaker 1:
Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. You all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. Again, if you are feeling like, hey, I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety, don't beat yourself up about it. It is okay. We all experience anxiety from time to time and I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own, but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through. Okay, and lastly, make sure, if you have not like, share, subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend. And if you want to hear a certain episodes or have certain conversations. Let me know. You can shoot me a DM or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up. All right, y'all be blessed, peace.
