Peace & Prosperity Podcast

Strategies for Conquering Self-Doubt - Episode #65

• Jason Phillips • Episode 65

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The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.

Ever wondered how self-doubt can sabotage your personal and professional life? Uncover the roots of your limiting beliefs and learn how to confront them head-on. In today's episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast, we dissect the insidious nature of self-doubt, exploring how it infiltrates our goals and relationships. By identifying and documenting these recurring negative thoughts, we provide a roadmap for understanding their impact and taking the first crucial steps toward building confidence. Join us as we break down practical strategies for overcoming these mental barriers and unlocking your true potential.

But that's not all—we also delve into the importance of a supportive social circle, offering insight into how honest and constructive feedback can be a game-changer in your journey to self-assurance. Discover why celebrating your achievements and managing fear are essential components of personal growth. Additionally, we share practical tips for dealing with high-functioning anxiety and emphasize the value of professional help. Tune in to gather actionable advice and join our community in fostering a culture of support and self-improvement. Don't miss this opportunity to transform your mindset and elevate your life.

Plus, remember to join our podcast community—like, share, subscribe, and let us know what topics you want us to cover next. Engage with us, send a DM, or leave a review. Let's continue this journey towards peace and prosperity together.

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Website -https://www.jasonlphillips.com

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https://peaceprosperitycoaching.hbportal.co/public/660d8068c9d2d600253b215b/1-Inquiry

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Speaker 1:

Welcome back to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. Y'all, today we're having a very important conversation. Like I know, some of the other episodes have been critical. I'm not going to say they haven't been dope, but today we're going to talk about something that I deem to be highly important on your journey to building up your confidence, and that is self-doubt. How many of you have struggled with self-doubt, whether it's today, whether it's happened in the past, or it happened in the past, but you're still dealing with it today.

Speaker 1:

Now, the reason I'm talking about this is because I've been having some really good discussions with a lot of my clients lately working on their confidence, working on self-esteem, and self-doubt continuously comes up. It's that one that we can't get around. Whether we acknowledge it or not, fear and self-doubt will be some of our biggest enemies. And you also know what. You can't lie to yourself. You can't lie to God, and I feel like you can't lie to your grandma. I feel like grandmas be knowing if you're telling a lie or not. But let's go back to yourself. The reason you can't lie to yourself is because, even if you're saying I'm doing this or I'm going to do that, or I'm this type of person. You know inside that that's a lie. So even if you're saying it, you know if you believe it or not. So we have to have a conversation around just how critical it is to be able to overcome self-doubt.

Speaker 1:

Now, how does it show up? What does it actually look like in real time? Self-doubt is when you aspire to do something, but because you don't believe that you can follow through, you don't. Or when you start to follow through, it's a really you give a half-assed effort, you're not giving all of your energy because you don't truly believe that you can actually do the thing or reach the goal that you want to. How many of you can relate to that? You say, hey, I want this relationship, I want it to work, but then when you go on a date, you're not showing up as your best self, you're downplaying your personality. You're showing up as a shell of yourself, not because they told you to, but because innately, you don't believe that this person that you're dating can actually be somebody that you get with long time, get engaged, have a great family, marriage, all that. You don't believe that that can happen for you. Maybe you haven't said it, but it doesn't matter. You don't have to always verbalize these things. Your actions are saying everything for you the fact that you're canceling last minute, or you don't want to meet the right people, or you're dating at standards that are way low. Like you know, you shouldn't be dating this person. All the red flags are there, but you do it anyway. Why? Because you are doubting that you can really ever find the true love that you want. That's one example of self-doubt and how it shows up right.

Speaker 1:

So we got to talk about what to do about it. You one will get right into it. One. You have to start to identify what are the limiting beliefs that you're putting on yourself. Some of us may not have heard that term before. It is a clinical term. If you've been working with a great therapist or you had coaching before, you may be familiar with it. Had coaching before, you may be familiar with it.

Speaker 1:

But limiting beliefs are the thoughts that you have over and over and over, and they become stronger. To now it's just like it's a belief. It's what you feel. It's a core belief about yourself and if you know anything about once it becomes the core, it's harder to move. So you may have one thought of I'm not going to meet anybody and you have that same thought over and over and over to now. That thought becomes a core belief and it looks like I'm not attractive, I'm not worth love. Now again, you may not walk around all the time just saying I'm not worth love, but that's the core belief, or the limiting belief that's happened from all of the other thoughts that you've been saying to yourself subconsciously for years now. It takes work, but you have to identify what those are. And once you identify them, I'm highly suggesting that you write it down so that you can then analyze it, because even when we're talking through it, sometimes the limiting belief may sound like oh wait, it's not that, but it's this. But when you can actually physically see it on paper, then you can say oh, you know what? Hey, jason, that is, that is how I'm thinking, that is a cap that I'm putting on myself, and because I doubt myself in this area of my life, it's spilling over to other areas. Right? I don't think I can have the right relationship. I'm also not in the right job, or I'm also not in the right career field. I'm also not being the best parent to my kids. I'm also not being the best friend, like sheesh, how many other areas of my life is this self-doubt impacting? It can get deep. So you got to identify what those limiting beliefs are.

Speaker 1:

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Speaker 1:

All right, let's get back to the episode Number two. You have to get around the right people Now to think about the right people. They're not going to always tell you that you're right. As a matter of fact, if they're always telling you that you're right, you probably around the wrong people, the yes man people, the people who are making you look, or letting you look, like a fool, even though they know oh man, jason, you don't need to be doing that. You're looking crazy, but because they're the yes people and not the right people, they're allowing you to do it, they're promoting it, they're telling you good job when they know they know that was, that was terrible, but they're not the the right people for you. So they're just going along with the get along and all the while you're thinking that these are your homies, these your best girls, all of that, but they're really not holding you accountable.

Speaker 1:

So, in order to overcome self doubt, you don't want everybody around you just promoting you and pushing you and telling you that you're great. You want people that can sit you down and say, hey, what are you doing right there? What was the thought process from you doing this? And that it doesn't have to be in a disrespectful manner. They don't have to come at you sideways, they shouldn't embarrass you. But in essence, you want that person to be honest with you and since we're talking about self-doubt, it needs to be reciprocal.

Speaker 1:

So you also have to reciprocate that same energy to your friends or your close family members. If you see them moving away, that you know it's just not productive, it's not going to be helpful for them long term. The onus is now on you to say something. And if they disagree or if they are a little bit taken aback, that's okay. You can work through the conflict and work through those emotions, those feelings. But you know, on the other side of it you're going to be in a better place. But when you doubt yourself, you don't say anything. They don't say anything to you because they either feel like one they're not your real people or you don't say anything to them because you don't have the courage or the. Maybe you have the wherewithal but you don't have the assertiveness to actually speak up. So you got to get around the right people and make sure you are the right person to the people that you are around.

Speaker 1:

Third thing that you have to do you have to start not believing all of your thoughts, right. So you have to be more skeptical or critical of some of the things that you're doing, some of the and some of the ways that you're moving. This also means that you have to be willing to engage in self-reflection and self-accountability, honestly, because you can look at yourself and you can say, all right, look, jason, I'm, I'm great or I'm doing the best that I can and you can know, like you know what I'm not. I'm truly not doing the best that I can, but that means that you have to be Again. You got to be honest. You got to be real. A lot of times, we don't want to be real. We don't want to hold ourselves that accountable. That takes a lot of work.

Speaker 1:

Now, on the same token excuse me as I'm saying that on the same token as I'm saying that you don't want to always believe everything that you think, because you want to be more critical of some of your thoughts I also want you to be able to look back and celebrate some of the dope things that you've done. That's one of the things that, when I'm working with people on confidence, I see that all of these amazing things that you've done, you downplay it, and I mean you downplay it big time. You gloss, wayplay it, and I mean you downplay it big time. You gloss way over it. I mean you graduated from the Ivy League school or you're raising the amazing family, but you're like, I'm just supposed to do that and while that is true, that's still a great accomplishment that you want to start giving yourself more credit for. Don't just skate by those things more credit for. Don't just skate by those things, because when you do trust me, when you start to continuously downplay all of your greatness, everybody else will downplay it too, right? Do you think Beyonce knows that? She's that. You know, she knows. Right, she's not arrogant about it, but she's confident about it. Jay-z the same way. And when you exude that type of confidence one other people. They see it, they respect it.

Speaker 1:

But then when it's time for you to move up the ladder, or maybe there are certain ambitions or goals that you want to achieve now, you can look back and say you know what it's going to be tough, but look at the body of work, look at what I've done. I know I can get there. That's how you overcome that self-doubt. You've got to start bigging yourself up too, but it's got to be realistic. Don't gas yourself up if you haven't done nothing. That's a whole nother conversation.

Speaker 1:

Lastly, when it comes to overcoming self-doubt, I want you to realize that again, the fear is going to be your biggest enemy you have to overcome. You See, sometimes there may be times where I know I need to give a speech, I know I need to record an episode, I know I need to have a difficult session with somebody or just have a tough conversation with somebody who I love, and there can be fear behind that, act Like, oh man, I'm dreading it. But I can realize that that fear is normal, right, like who wants to have that difficult conversation with somebody that they love. Like You're not waking up saying, oh I just want to engage in this possible conflict or I want to break this bad news to somebody. We don't attract those things, but we have to embrace that. That's part of life. When you can do that, it's going to increase your confidence that you can do hard things, not because it's an affirmation, but because it's on your resume and once it's happened, that's evidence. Nobody can take that away from you. So the fear is going to be there. We acknowledge it, we accept it. But we engage in behaviors to overcome that fear.

Speaker 1:

I'm telling you, if you let self-doubt control your life, it will. You won't get that far. You'll stunt your growth personally and professionally. So, if anything, I would advise you to acknowledge what are your limiting beliefs. Who are the right people or the wrong people that you're spending time with? Are you critical of your thoughts? Do you celebrate your true past accomplishments? And, lastly, are you allowing fear to run your life Right. All right, y'all, that's it.

Speaker 1:

Make sure you tap into another episode and send this out, because I know somebody else is struggling with self-doubt it's not just you. All right, be blessed Peace. Else is struggling with self-doubt, it's not just you. All right, be blessed Peace. Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. Again, if you are feeling like, hey, I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety, don't beat yourself up about it. It is okay. We all experience anxiety from time to time and I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own, but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through. Okay, and lastly, make sure, if you have not like share, subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend, and if you want to hear certain episodes or have certain conversations, let me know. You can shoot me a dm or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up. All right, y'all, be blessed peace.