Peace & Prosperity Podcast
In the Peace & Prosperity Podcast, Jason Phillips, licensed therapist and life coach, shares personal experiences that force you to think deeply about your values, beliefs, and behaviors to ensure you achieve peace, happiness, and success in your life.
Peace & Prosperity Podcast
Why You Should Not Give Up on Your Dreams - Episode #66
The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.
Ever felt like time has passed you by and it's too late to chase your dreams? Think again. Join us on this episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast as we explore the unstoppable power of perseverance. Through heartfelt stories of my great-grandmother and grandmother overcoming significant obstacles to achieve their educational goals later in life, you'll see that age and circumstances are mere numbers when it comes to personal growth and fulfillment. Learn from my professional experiences where older individuals have returned to education, proving that it's never too late to pursue your aspirations. Amidst the inevitable setbacks and doubts, discover practical advice on staying focused and committed to your goals.
We also delve into the importance of self-reflection and the pitfalls of comparing yourself to others. Understand the detrimental effects of not applying yourself fully and the resulting impact on your mental health. Gain insights on setting benchmarks for progress and auditing your social circle for positive reinforcement. If high functioning anxiety is a struggle for you, this episode offers self-help strategies and emphasizes the importance of seeking professional assistance. Conclude with a positive sign-off and a reminder to like, share, and subscribe, staying connected for more heartfelt guidance on navigating life's challenges while maintaining your mental health and chasing your dreams. Plus, remember to join our podcast community—like, share, subscribe, and let us know what topics you want us to cover next. Engage with us, send a DM, or leave a review. Let's continue this journey towards peace and prosperity together.
To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jphillipsmsw/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/jphillipsmsw
Visit Jason's website for a consultation:
Website -https://www.jasonlphillips.com
To book Jason to speak to your team or organization:
https://peaceprosperitycoaching.hbportal.co/public/660d8068c9d2d600253b215b/1-Inquiry
Welcome to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast. I'm your host, jason Phillips, licensed therapist, confidence expert, and today we're going to be talking about why you should not give up on your dreams and not giving up on yourself. So I got notes today because I really want to make sure that I hit on some personal topics, some things that I've seen in my own life and others that I've worked with over the years, and, of course, give you all some ways that you can stay focused and stay on track. Now we're talking about this because I know at some point all of us we get discouraged, we start to feel down on ourselves. We're thinking, man, I'm not where I want to be. You could be looking at other people where they're at. You're doing your own personal self-assessment and feeling like why am I not further along? What's wrong with me? Why are things not clicking for me? I feel stuck, I feel hopeless, I feel helpless and I'm not sure where do I go from here. Now, you may be able to relate to this personally, or you know somebody in your life that can relate to that narrative and they've been telling themselves that same story over and over and over again. So I want to give you some one hope, but also tangible things that you can do. If you've been feeling this way, now you may think, ok, jason, well, I've been feeling this way. How is this impacting me? Well, one, your mental health is likely impacted by you thinking about giving up on your dreams or feeling like you're not in your purpose, and anytime we start to feel more stressed out, more overwhelmed, underappreciated, our self-worth is going down. All of those things are, for sure, impacting your mental health, and this is whether you've been able to notice it or not. So I want to share.
Speaker 1:I said I want to get into a personal story about this, because I think stories help like drive the point home, at least for me, and I'm going to say, when I know somebody else personally who's overcome something, I'm thinking like this they bleed, like I bleed. We may have different stories or backgrounds, but that inspires me, as opposed to me feeling like, well, I can't, because they did so. This first story is, I think, about my great grandmother, where my great uncle, so, like my grandma's brother and his mom, they both graduated high school at the same time. So basically, this would be like you graduating high school at the same time as your mom and dad. Now you got to think there's a lot of emotions or feelings that could go on about that, because you may feel like, well dang, how am I like what happened either with my situation or really with my parents situation, where they did not graduate. So now we're walking across the stage at the same time and we may see this more in college, but I'm talking about high school degree and it still resonates with me now because I'm not sure how old my great was. If she was, well, she was probably. If he was 18, she probably was around. Let's just say 50. Let's say 50. So now you're getting your degree and your mom is getting it at the same time. And that inspires me because it lets me know that whatever my great grandmother was thinking, feeling, lets me know that whatever my great grandmother was thinking, feeling, she put all that to the side and said, hey, this is what I want to do for myself, for my legacy. And she went on. She was already doing great things, but that just cemented that I'm not going to let my age stop me from being who I want to be or accomplishing the things that I want to accomplish Now, fast forward. So I said that was my grandmother's story.
Speaker 1:Then my grandmother she did. She graduated high school early I believe she was about 15, went on to college, could not finish because of financial reasons, ended up going back after working for 20 plus years and she graduated with her bachelor's in social work. She was around 55, somewhere along there, so she was definitely in her 50s. Now you got to think why am I sharing this? Because these strong women in my life I did have a chance to meet my great grandmother, and my grandmother had a very big hand in raising me. These women didn't give up. So even though they were faced with obstacles they were faced with raising families, going to work, all of these things they still didn't let that stop them from giving up on their dreams.
Speaker 1:Now, being in school, y'all know people like to talk a lot of mess. I'm sure this did not start with us so meaning generations before us people were still saying things. So I'm sure when my great grandmother decided to go back and earn her degree or GED, I'm sure people were saying things. When my grandmother went back to college at 50 something years old, I'm sure people were saying things. So for you, you're thinking about what you want to do, and there's going to be people who may be close to you. They're going to be saying things, but don't let that stop you from doing what you want to do and walking in your purpose.
Speaker 1:Now I say on a professional level, I'll never forget I was a couple of years out of grad school, so one of my first jobs as a therapist I was working at two different agencies at the time and both agencies there were. I had black women who were in their 70s maybe older, but definitely 70s who were going back to finish their their degree. So I told you, like this is like when you think about giving up, you may be feeling like well, jason, I'm just I don't know how to do it. I don't know where to start. I feel inundated with responsibilities. I understand that, but that does not let you stop, or you don't let that stop you from becoming the person that you want to be and having the things that you want.
Speaker 1:So I said I was going to give you some things, some very concrete things to focus on, so that you don't give up on yourself. The first thing I want you to remember is that if it's meant for you to have it, go get it flat out, so meaning, if it's meant for you to have that thriving, stellar bomb career, go get it. If it's meant for you to have the relationship that you want, even though you feel like you've been discarded, even though you've been cheated on, even though you're not sure what your ideal mate looks like right now, you know there's something better for you. So go get it. Get the clarity that you need Journal, write it out, so make whatever that you want. To be very specific, you want to be focused on it. But if it's meant for you to have it, you got to go get it, and that means that you have to be uncomfortable. So doing things the same thing every single day is probably not going to push the needle and get you to again the next job, the next raise, the family that you want living where you want. You're going to have to be uncomfortable and get out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 1:Is stress and burnout taking a toll on your company's productivity and morale? Are you looking for ways to improve your employees' mental health and wellness? If so, it's time to invest in mental health support for your workplace. As a mental health expert and speaker, I provide solutions for creating a happier, healthier and more productive workplace. This includes a range of services to help your employees cope with stress, anxiety and other mental health challenges. I facilitate workshops and presentations designed specifically to help your employees develop resiliency, manage stress and reduce burnout. So, while wait, make mental health and wellness a priority in your workplace today and contact us so we can support you all.
Speaker 1:All right, let's get back to the episode. The second thing I want you to ask yourself are you truly applying yourself or are you telling yourself I'm working hard, I'm working as hard as I can, but you know, for real, for real, if you're working hard, like y'all know, one of my favorite movies is friday, and if y'all haven't watched friday, well, that's a different. I know you, you should have watched friday. Y'all know big Worm told Smokey. He said you're not applying yourself, smokey. Well, he was supposed to sell that butt, meaning what all Smokey was doing was sitting at the house looking at people come up and down the street, talking to Felicia kicking it with Craig, talking about how Craig got fired. He was not applying himself to do what he needed to do. Now, I don't know, maybe that's a bad scenario because of what Smokey was doing, but you get the point.
Speaker 1:You got to be straight up with yourself. Are you truly applying yourself? Or are you giving yourself lip service, just saying, oh yeah, I'm working hard or I'm doing this, I'm out here, but you know you're not out here. So now, when you start to look at the results that you don't have because of the work that you didn't put in, the depression is setting in and you're like, oh my gosh, I don't really feel like doing nothing, I don't want to go out, I don't want to be around anybody, I don't have an appetite, I'm not sleeping, I'm overthinking, I'm super stressed. That's because are you applying yourself? Because if you're not applying yourself, then I wouldn't be surprised that your mental health and wellness is not in a great place. So you got to be honest with yourself and ask yourself am I really applying myself? The next thing that I don't want you to do is compare yourself.
Speaker 1:Be mindful of looking at other people and their situation, because we're good for oh man, well, we'll look around and we'll say, well, so-and-so is doing this, and I know, you know, I just wish I could be like them, or why did they make it seem look so easy? You don't know what that person is going through. More often than not you looking at somebody thinking that they have it easy and feeling like, well, they make it look like it's just a walking apart. Just because somebody is making it look easy does not mean that they're not stressed out too. So you have to be mindful of yourself and how much you're looking at somebody else and their attributes and what they've accomplished and feeling like you're comparing apples to apples, because in reality you have no idea what trauma they've been through. You have no idea how many hours of therapy they've been through. You know, have no idea if they're not sleeping, if they have sleepless nights. So be very careful of looking at somebody else thinking, well, I can't do it because I'm not them, you won't be them.
Speaker 1:Embrace being your own person, your own unique self, and all of the challenges and positive things that come with you being you. When you start to really embrace who you are, you're able to look forward. And when I say look forward, I don't mean just like how I'm looking right now looking forward, but I mean you can look forward into the future when you're driving. Nobody drives like this, like you don't drive your car, like oh you know, going backwards or looking to the side. The reason you don't do that is because you would crash, and the same thing is going to happen in your life. If you continuously go through life looking backwards or looking to the side, when are you going to focus on what's in front of you? So you have to have number one. I guess this is where you can start taking notes, if you, if you haven't Number one.
Speaker 1:You need mental clarity, because when you think about giving up on yourself, more often than not you're thinking about giving up because you don't know where to start. You're not sure where do I go? What's next? Be very specific on what is for you. What's next? Be very specific on what is for you, like not what's for your neighbor or your sibling or your partner, your coworkers, what is for you. And once you get that mental clarity, oh my gosh, you're going to feel like so much lighter.
Speaker 1:It's almost like you know when you'all do spring cleaning and I know when I spring clean I feel good, just purging stuff, getting rid of stuff. That's what you got to do with your thoughts and emotions, the ones that don't serve you well, the things that you've been hanging on to for years, and it's like every year. You set the tradition or the resolution, but those same thoughts, feelings, emotions they keep coming back. We got to purge those. So that's the first thing. You need mental clarity.
Speaker 1:The second thing is you need benchmarks for your progress. Why do you need benchmarks? Because without the benchmarks we can become discouraged super easily. We'll feel like, well, I'm working, but I don't see the progress. I don't, I don't know if it's really working. So the benchmarks help you, because now you have these little I don't want a little goals, but they like placeholders. So you know you're getting closer and closer to the bigger goal. They're like placeholders. So you know you're getting closer and closer to the bigger goal.
Speaker 1:But without the benchmarks you're going to feel stuck. The overthinking sets in. So now you have a lot of thoughts. You're feeling like, oh my gosh, I don't. I'm just ready to just burst because you have so much energy inside but nowhere for it to really come out in a healthy way, for it to really come out in a healthy way. And then the last thing that I want you to do is take an audit of who's in your circle. Who are you sharing these things with? Because if you're sharing what your aspirations are with people and they're telling you maybe, oh, man, it's too late for you. Like, oh, for real, you going back to school, oh, it's too late, like.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I shared this, I think I did. So I'm in school right now, working on my doctorate, and I would say ninety, nine percent, like I can't think of anybody who's been negative about it. So, having that overwhelming amount of positive feedback, it helps me keep going when I don't feel like it. So, having that overwhelming amount of positive feedback, it helps me keep going when I don't feel like it. Like when I get off of here right now I'm going to study I don't feel like it. You know, I don't, I definitely don't. But when you have a circle that pushes you and holds you accountable, encourages you and makes it so much easier, encourages you and makes it so much easier.
Speaker 1:So I wanted to share this because one, you probably have felt like giving up before and you're not sure where to start. So again, one, get super clear on what you need, get focused. Number two have benchmarks for yourself so that when you do feel like you're not moving, you can look and see oh, I am making some real progress. And then, third, make sure that everybody around you is on board with what you're doing, or you don't share what you're doing with those people. So that's another whole, nother episode. All right, y'all, we got to wrap it up, but I want you to know that you have to be encouraged and do not give up on yourself. Again, if it's meant for you, go ahead and get it.
Speaker 1:All right, that is another episode of the Peace and Prosperity podcast. Make sure you subscribe, like, share and send this to somebody, because there's somebody else who needs to hear this message. But they just haven't told you what they're going through. All right, y'all. As always, be blessed Peace. Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast.
Speaker 1:Again, if you are feeling like, hey, I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety, again, if you are feeling like, hey, I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety, don't beat yourself up about it. It is OK. We all experience anxiety from time to time and I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own, but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through. Better manage what you're going through, okay. And lastly, make sure, if you have not like share, subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend. And if you want to hear certain episodes or have certain conversations, let me know. You can shoot me a DM or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up. All right, y'all be blessed Peace.