Merging Life and Money with MJ Caesar

Ep. 155 - EMPOWER YOUR FINANCES - TOOLS AND TIPS FOR SURVIVING DIVORCE

April 11, 2024 Marie Jo Caesar/Leah Hadley Season 2 Episode 155
Ep. 155 - EMPOWER YOUR FINANCES - TOOLS AND TIPS FOR SURVIVING DIVORCE
Merging Life and Money with MJ Caesar
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Merging Life and Money with MJ Caesar
Ep. 155 - EMPOWER YOUR FINANCES - TOOLS AND TIPS FOR SURVIVING DIVORCE
Apr 11, 2024 Season 2 Episode 155
Marie Jo Caesar/Leah Hadley

Send us a Text Message.

In this empowering episode of "The Merging Life and Money Show," host Marie-Jo Caesar sits down with certified divorce financial analyst Leah Hadley to navigate the financial complexities of divorce. They discuss the importance of financial literacy, understanding assets and liabilities, avoiding common mistakes, and creating a sustainable post-divorce financial plan. Leah underscores the value of being informed, organized, and proactive with one's finances, offering practical tips and sharing success stories. The episode stresses education and emotional support as key to emerging financially strong post-divorce, encouraging listeners to actively manage their financial health.

 

THE THREE MAIN POINTS OF THE PODCAST ARE:

 

Preparing Financially for Divorce: This point covers the importance of getting organized, knowing your assets and liabilities, understanding your income and expenses, and ensuring you have cash savings. It focuses on the significance of financial education and awareness in navigating through a divorce with empowerment and knowledge.

Avoiding Common Financial Mistakes During Divorce Negotiation: Leah Hadley discusses common pitfalls and misconceptions in financial negotiations during a divorce. This includes issues such as the true affordability of keeping the family home, misconceptions about the taxation of various accounts, and the division of complex assets such as annuities and investments. It underscores the necessity for thorough financial analysis and strategic negotiation for fair asset distribution.

Making Settlements Last Post-Divorce: This point highlights the importance of crafting a sustainable post-divorce financial plan. It involves setting clear personal goals, prioritizing insurance to guard against unexpected expenses, and making financial decisions that ensure the settlement lasts while adapting to a changed income and expense situation.

 

THE KEY MOMENTS IN THIS EPISODE ARE:

 

00:10 Empowering Divorce: Financial Impact Uncovered

05:23 Plan for Stability: Minimize Post-Divorce Debt

07:59 Protect Credit During and Post-Divorce

10:13 Financial Settlement: Negotiate Assets Wisely

16:56 IRA Taxation: Pretax vs Tax-Free Explained

18:41 Consider Asset Value in Divorce Settlement

24:21 Budgeting Essentials: Post-Divorce Income & Expenses

26:24 Insurance Prioritization for Financial Security

30:09 Adjust Investments to Align with New

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Click this link https://mariejocaesar.com/fp-quiz to take the "What's Your Financial Personality Type” Quiz, so you can transform your financial identity and create Financial Freedom.

Click this link: https://mariejocaesar.com/consult to book a FREE consultation now! Let's map out your path to financial wellness together. Your future self will thank you.

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Send us a Text Message.

In this empowering episode of "The Merging Life and Money Show," host Marie-Jo Caesar sits down with certified divorce financial analyst Leah Hadley to navigate the financial complexities of divorce. They discuss the importance of financial literacy, understanding assets and liabilities, avoiding common mistakes, and creating a sustainable post-divorce financial plan. Leah underscores the value of being informed, organized, and proactive with one's finances, offering practical tips and sharing success stories. The episode stresses education and emotional support as key to emerging financially strong post-divorce, encouraging listeners to actively manage their financial health.

 

THE THREE MAIN POINTS OF THE PODCAST ARE:

 

Preparing Financially for Divorce: This point covers the importance of getting organized, knowing your assets and liabilities, understanding your income and expenses, and ensuring you have cash savings. It focuses on the significance of financial education and awareness in navigating through a divorce with empowerment and knowledge.

Avoiding Common Financial Mistakes During Divorce Negotiation: Leah Hadley discusses common pitfalls and misconceptions in financial negotiations during a divorce. This includes issues such as the true affordability of keeping the family home, misconceptions about the taxation of various accounts, and the division of complex assets such as annuities and investments. It underscores the necessity for thorough financial analysis and strategic negotiation for fair asset distribution.

Making Settlements Last Post-Divorce: This point highlights the importance of crafting a sustainable post-divorce financial plan. It involves setting clear personal goals, prioritizing insurance to guard against unexpected expenses, and making financial decisions that ensure the settlement lasts while adapting to a changed income and expense situation.

 

THE KEY MOMENTS IN THIS EPISODE ARE:

 

00:10 Empowering Divorce: Financial Impact Uncovered

05:23 Plan for Stability: Minimize Post-Divorce Debt

07:59 Protect Credit During and Post-Divorce

10:13 Financial Settlement: Negotiate Assets Wisely

16:56 IRA Taxation: Pretax vs Tax-Free Explained

18:41 Consider Asset Value in Divorce Settlement

24:21 Budgeting Essentials: Post-Divorce Income & Expenses

26:24 Insurance Prioritization for Financial Security

30:09 Adjust Investments to Align with New

Support the Show.

Connect with me:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_financiologist_mjcaesar/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/merginglifeandmoney
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDOmx_ThReq0hAC3acvMQ9g
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/https://twitter.com/mariejocaesar
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mjcaesar

Click this link https://mariejocaesar.com/fp-quiz to take the "What's Your Financial Personality Type” Quiz, so you can transform your financial identity and create Financial Freedom.

Click this link: https://mariejocaesar.com/consult to book a FREE consultation now! Let's map out your path to financial wellness together. Your future self will thank you.

Ep. 155 - EMPOWER YOUR FINANCES - TOOLS AND TIPS FOR SURVIVING DIVORCE

 MARIE-JO CAESAR

Welcome to another empowering episode of the Merging Life and Money Show, where we explore the intersection of personal well-being and financial health as we celebrate Financial Literacy Month; in today's episode, we will be exploring a topic close to my heart, navigating the challenges and of divorce, a topic that impacts so many of us, but it is very often clouded in emotional turmoil. Divorce is more than just a legal process; it is a life-changing event that can shake the very foundations of our financial stability. But fear not because today, we are here to arm you with the tools and tips you need to navigate this challenging time and emerge financially empowered.

I'm thrilled to have you with me today, Leah Hadley. Not only has Leah navigated her own divorce, but she also founded Great Lakes Divorce Financial Solutions to offer clients clarity and support during this challenging time with a unique blend of expertise as a certified divorce financial analyst, master analyst in financial forensics, and accredited investment fiduciary. Leah brings a wealth of knowledge to help you take control of your finances during this critical time. We will cover everything from the initial step of financial planning during a divorce to understanding your assets and liabilities and even strategies for rebuilding your financial life post-divorce.

We are aiming today to provide you with the knowledge and the confidence to take control of your finances and turn a period of insecurity and doubt into a time of growth and empowerment. So whether you are currently going through a divorce, contemplating one, or simply want to be prepared for life's unexpected turns, this episode is for you.

We will be covering three important points to empower your finances during a divorce. First, we will discuss how to best prepare financially for divorce, making sure that you have a solid foundation of how to navigate this condition. Next, we'll delve into avoiding common financial mistakes in divorce negotiation, providing you with strategies to protect your interest. And lastly, you will explore how to make your settlement last post-divorce, offering tips to ensure long-term financial stability. So grab your notebook, and let's get ready to merge life and money with the insightful Leah Hadley. Welcome, Leah.

 

LEAH HADLEY

Thank you so much. That was such a lovely introduction. 

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

Well, now that we have set the stage for today's vitally important discussion, let's dive into the heart of financial empowerment during divorce. And Leah, you are welcome. Okay. So, with your extensive experience and personal journey through divorce, could you share some essential steps our listeners should take to best prepare financially for this challenging transition?

 

LEAH HADLEY

Yeah, it's an important question. People, honestly, often consider divorce for years before they actually decide to move forward with it. And, you know, the steps that you can take to prepare yourself are things that are good for you to do regardless of the situation with your marriage. And so these are things that you can do, even if you're just maybe contemplating slightly and thinking that one day this may happen because these are good things for your finances regardless.

But first and foremost is to get really organized, to know what your assets are, to know what your liabilities are, you know what you own, you know what you owe, know where your income is coming from, and know what your expenses are. We have to do a lot of work on a budget when it comes to going through a divorce because there's so much change that happens, so it's really helpful to fully understand what your fixed expenses are and what your variable expenses are. So that way, when we're looking at where we can make adjustments because life is changing, we have some clarity around what you're already committed to month in and month out and where there may be some more flexibility.

So that's really important, knowing where you're at. If you have some time on your side and you're able to really, truly financially prepare, savings are critical. Having cash savings gives you flexibility; it gives you a choice, it gives you options when you go through the divorce process. The divorce itself can be costly, although there are ways to save money on the process, for sure. You want to make sure that you have funds set aside to deal with what you may come up against when it comes to the divorce, which also lends itself or leads me to talk about the amount of debt that you have. You enter into a divorce with already spending above your means and having significant debt. That's one more thing that you're going to have to split, as part of the divorce settlement and deal with post-divorce. So if you really want to get yourself into a financially good position, you have a solid cash reserve and a very limited amount of debt heading into a divorce. 

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

What I'm hearing here is these are foundational steps. You've got to have a budget. Having a budget is a critical preparation for that life-changing event. Although no one gets married to get divorced, you know, life happens. So you want to make sure that regardless of the fact that you anticipated divorce or not, you have your money in order, you know how much you make and how much you spend, and you have your emergency savings on track because all of those things are going to become really, really important when and if the time comes. So, Leah, can you provide insight on how someone can safeguard their credit score and financial identity during a divorce because this could get pretty messy? 

 

LEAH HADLEY

Yeah. It's such an important question because there are a lot of ways that you can quite frankly go wrong as it relates to protecting your credit score during the divorce process itself. Keep in mind that credit utilization has a huge impact on your credit score. And if you don't have cash reserves set aside to handle the divorce-related expenses, oftentimes those expenses do go on a credit card, so that increases your utilization, which can negatively impact your credit score. Likewise, the divorce process itself can be very overwhelming for a variety of reasons. You're just going through a lot of change, and it's a time, even if you're one of those people who always make their payments on time, that it can be easy to forget a payment, to just not make your payment on time or just completely forget a payment. Those are things that are also going to negatively impact your credit. You know, things that you can do to make sure that nobody's taking advantage of your credit. You can certainly freeze your credit if you feel like that's necessary in order to protect it. But also be very cognizant of any changes that you're going to be making to your debt situation post-divorce. And what I mean by that is are you going to have to refinance a car? Are you going to have to refinance your house? What kinds of changes are going to need to happen in order to get the debt in your name that you are left with following the divorce? And as you look at that, if you are looking at potentially refinancing your house, it's really important that you're doing everything you can to keep your credit score healthy. That may mean holding off on closing joint accounts. So that way, you have that credit history, and you're not reducing your credit history right before you're about to refinance your house, for example. So there are a lot of steps that you can take to really protect your credit, making sure that you're paying your bills on time and minimizing the amount of credit that you're using so your utilization isn't going up too high. Unfortunately, we see a lot of people kind of get into a cycle where they're using up a lot of credit, then maybe they miss a payment, and then the credit card company comes and lowers their limit, which increases their utilization even more. So the more you can just stay on top of it and make sure that you're taking basic care of your credit, that's going to be critical to keeping a healthy credit score through the divorce process. 

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

Yeah, these are excellent points here. And the part about it is that if you do it the way that you're supposed to do it, it shouldn't be an issue when the time comes.

But unfortunately, more often than not, it does not work that way. Simply because a majority of divorces come about as a result of financial issues. These are great points and I'm hearing what you're saying, but I just want to go back a little bit here. You talked about assets and liability. Could you elaborate on the importance of this understanding in a divorce? Because that's a key point here. And people got to understand that. 

 

LEAH HADLEY

It really is. So what you're negotiating when you're negotiating your financial settlement is who is going to keep what in terms of either account values or, investments, property, who's going to keep what and understanding and knowing what your assets are, what you own and the value of those things is absolutely critical to be able to negotiate that in a way where you're doing it from a place of education and empowerment, rather than just kind of taking this is a proposed settlement that's in front of me and, you know, yes or no kind of thing, but instead really looking at it through the lens of, all right, I'm planning for my future here. I understand that a divorce is the termination of a marriage, but it's also opening you up for whatever's next in your life. And so looking at your assets, what you own, what your accounts are, what those values are, and looking at it in respect to what do I want next for myself? You can start to think about maybe investing in some education for yourself so you can increase your income while you may be negotiating for a different asset than if you're really focused on retiring in the next couple of years, right? So really understanding the pros and cons of each asset, what the growth rates are, things, the taxability of things, is critical when you start to negotiate these things. Likewise, on the liability side and on the debt side, what can you actually handle from a debt perspective? You know, a lot of times when we're working through a proposal, we're looking at how can we eliminate debt for both parties. But it's really critical that you're not coming to an agreement, for example, refinancing the house when you actually cannot get qualified to refinance the house. So make sure that you understand what these debts are, and if you're negotiating to retain some of them, are you actually able to do that?

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

Great. I really wanted you to touch on this because, more often than not, in a couple, either the husband or the wife tends to take care of the finances, right? And the other one is, I would say, left in the dark I'm not suggesting that it's intentional, but the point that I want to make is that you got to make it your business, right? It doesn't matter. While everybody's happy, you have to make it your business to understand your assets and your liabilities. And as I said, no one gets married to get divorced, but it happens.

Okay, now that you have clarified that understanding your assets and liabilities is essential, you may want to seek professional help, right? Because it will make a huge difference. So, how can individuals utilize the expertise of a certified divorce financial analyst during their divorce? 

 

LEAH HADLEY

This is a great question. A certified divorce financial analyst is educated about finances as it relates to divorce specifically. So your attorney is there to provide you with legal advice. A CDFA really looks at your case, your proposal, and your settlement through that financial planning lens, but within the context of the law.

So obviously, there are a lot of, different laws that are involved when it comes to dividing property that CDFA is going to be educated in your local area. What does it mean for you in terms of what is community property? What is a separate property, for example? What makes sense is to be divided to best situate you for what's next in your life. But they're not always looking at it just from that legal lens. They're also looking at it through the financial. So whereas attorneys will oftentimes share maybe a spreadsheet back and forth that shows a static value of an account at a moment in time, a CDFA is looking at, what does this mean today? But what does this also mean for my future? And really projecting those numbers out so we can see what a reasonable settlement is. What can you afford that kind of thing? 

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

Great. That's an important point. Because very often, shame gets in, we don't want anybody to know that we're having some issues and the picture is even, uglier if the finances are not together, but people, okay, people I urge you go and seek the advice of somebody like Leah. That's what she does. That's what she knows about. And getting a divorce is not a death sentence. So you want to be able to live your life after that life-changing event. 

 Now let's shift our attention or our focus to the negotiation table. So what are some common financial pitfalls people should be aware of during divorce negotiations? 

 

LEAH HADLEY

There are so many. There are so many. I would say one of the most common ones is people want to stay in a house that they cannot afford. And when we talk about being able to afford a house, we look at it from a variety of different ways. Obviously, there's the asset value and if there's debt on the house, the debt that we're looking at for the value of the house to determine what the equity is. Now, in some cases, one of the parties may be paying out the other party their portion of the equity from the house as part of the settlement. And so maybe we're looking at refinancing an even higher balance than just the existing mortgage. But we're also looking at what is the actual cost to maintain that home. What are the utility costs? If your spouse was one that did the yard work, for example, would you need to hire somebody to take care of the yard work? What is the maintenance expense associated with the house? Who handled the plumbing or, anything that went wrong with the house in the past? Do you have funds that are set aside to deal with the unexpected expenses associated with home ownership that come up regardless of where you live and when, what's going on in your life, whether it's divorce or not? So really understanding also what you may be giving up. in order to stay in the home. But I would say one of the most common things is people really staying in a home that they just, quite frankly, cannot afford another big, big mistake is not understanding the taxation of accounts. So, when you're comparing accounts, it's really important that you know what kind of account you are actually looking at. You might be looking at a 401 K, but a portion of that 401 K may be pre-tax a portion of that 401k, maybe, a Roth 401k, a Roth IRA, and a traditional IRA. A traditional IRA is pre-taxed and its growing tax deferred. It's going to be taxed when you take the money out in retirement, but a Roth IRA has already been taxed and is growing tax-free. So you can't compare those account values apples to apples because the taxation on them is so different. And that comes up in a variety of different ways throughout the asset analysis that we're looking at is how is each of these assets taxed. So often people negotiate brokerage accounts, but don't actually look at the underlying investments within them to look at, what is the cost basis of this investment. Is this an investment that's actually divisible?

There are tons of mistakes that people make when they are dividing annuities. Some annuities lose significant value if you are dividing it. And so sometimes when you're looking at the value of an annuity, you might not be considering what is the income rider worth on that particular product. And if we end up dividing it, according to our divorce agreement, what is that going to mean for the income rider? So it's really understanding each and every asset that you're looking at. What are the pros and cons? What is the taxation of each one to really know what are we negotiating here?

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

Totally. I did ask you to mention the common ones and you only touched the surface. This alone could be the topic of one show. So avoiding pitfalls is obviously very important, and fair division of assets and debts based on what you said is a key aspect of negotiation.

So, how can someone negotiate a fair division in a divorce? 

 

LEAH HADLEY

It really does start with fully understanding the value of each of the assets before you even consider how things might get divided. It really is looking at what is the taxation of each individual asset. How is it titled? There are some accounts where you lose significant value when you have to deal with the administrative expense of dividing them. For example, there are some people who have lots of little 401ks out there. A 401k requires a qualified domestic relations order or a QDRO to divide it. and looking at the cost associated with getting the QDRO drafted and having it reviewed by the plan. There's a significant cost associated with that. If you're dividing up lots of little accounts, you can lose a tremendous amount of the marital value of your estate, in just the way things get divided.

It's understanding what is the full picture before I look at how am I actually going to divide these things, but it's also taking a step back and looking at what I need right now in terms of what's next in my life. For a lot of people, that's going to be liquidity, that's going to be cash, that's going to be prioritizing access to savings. This is at a time when a lot of people are going through a divorce, and savings are being depleted. So it's really important for most people that they do prioritize having liquid assets. 

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

So having said that, I just want the audience to be reminded of the importance of this thing called fear division. It's important. Yes. But managing emotions during this time is even super, super important. So how can individuals manage their emotions to make sound financial decisions during a divorce? As we know, money is 80 percent emotion and 20 percent knowledge. So tell us, how can they manage those emotions because they will determine a lot of their financial decisions during the divorce? 

 

LEAH HADLEY

Yeah, it's an important question and it really does start with self-awareness and acknowledging where you are emotionally. People go through all kinds of emotions when they're going through the divorce process. They go through the whole grieving process, bouncing back and forth between anger, denial, depression, all of these different things, so it is very easy if you allow it, for emotions to control the process. But being aware of it is really the first step. And if you're finding that you just can't think clearly about the numbers, you just really are in a space where you're so cloudy emotionally. I really do encourage you to get emotional support. We offer support groups for people here. Working with a therapist or a divorce coach can be a wonderful resource to just get some clarity in your mind, to allow you to be able to talk about the numbers. But also when we're working with clients and going through the numbers, I've been doing this long enough. I know when people are going through a divorce, they have what a lot of people call divorce-brain; and that we may need to go through things more than once. And that's okay, to acknowledge that's where you're at. We may need to go through the numbers more than once, but having those projections can take a lot of the emotion out of it because now we're not just talking about this and thinking about it in very ambiguous terms, but we're looking at, what does this mean for me today? And what does this mean for me next year and the year after that? Am I going to be okay financially? And if not, what needs to change? 

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

Sometimes, there could be some added situation, kids. Of course. We aren't even touching on that. So now, great conversation so far, very important, and very, timely because this month is Financial Literacy Month.

This whole concept of financial literacy does not apply to one month; it applies to life in general. As we know, a lot has to be done in order to have financially literate people around, particularly in America. In my opinion, literacy is a measure of competence. If you are not educated on the matter, how can you be competent about it? So take the time, start today, people, and invest in your financial knowledge. It is very, very important. Not just, in a divorce situation, but period. Let's focus on the third and final part of today's episode. How to make your settlement last post your divorce. 

 

LEAH HADLEY

This is so important because the reason I got into this work originally is I literally was a financial advisor, and I would see people blowing through their assets after divorce, and it was really just due to poor planning where they were, for example, trying to maintain a home that they couldn't afford and had just not adequately prepared for it. And so it is a very serious issue. You know, there are all kinds of statistics about the number of people who live in poverty, post-divorce, and so really making sure that you make that settlement last matters, and it really starts with taking a step back and acknowledging there has been a change. You can't just continue to live the lifestyle that you lived before your divorce without acknowledging the fact that, hey, income has probably changed my expenses. I'm probably more responsible for more expenses than I was prior to the divorce, right? And that budget that we talked about early on becomes a really useful tool and helps you to figure out what can you really afford for now that all of these things have changed. My income has changed. My expenses have changed. You know what? My assets have changed. All of these things changed through the divorce process and having some real clarity around what are your sources of income. When do you get them? What are your expenses? And maybe having to reduce some of those fixed expenses. I know we've gone through lots of divorces with folks where we find that they have a car payment that they just can't really hold on to, that they need to get into something that's more economical. Or they've, again, the house, maybe they need to downsize their house. However, getting their expenses in alignment with their income is critical. But not just can I pay the bills, but can I save for my future? A lot of people are rebuilding their savings post-divorce. As I said, divorce depletes savings. That's very common. But making sure That you are rebuilding that savings so you can deal with an emergency that might come up and that you have funds set aside for the things that you want to do in the future, is really critical. So there are a lot of pieces to making that settlement last.

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

So what I'm hearing here is sustainability is key for long-term stability, and I know you deal with that a lot. That's what you do. Give her some tips for creating a post-divorce financial plan to ensure stability and growth, because that's key, say the emotions are running high. We are in the moment. We don't think about, you know, oh my God, he used to do that, or she used to do that, or she used to be responsible for this and used to be responsible for that. And bam, it happens. So give us some tips that our audience could take away if they found themselves in that situation. 

 

LEAH HADLEY

Yeah. So, really, it's time to start thinking about what your goals are as an individual, starting there and really getting clear on what you want for your life now. Now that can be really difficult once you've gone through the divorce process, but the clearer you can get on what you want in the next six months in the next couple of years. What does retirement look like for you? That's going to allow you to really drive your plan through that process of goal setting. And so for example, if you know, hey, I'm not happy with my living situation now, and I do want to get back into a home that I'm excited about, then you're putting money away into savings and building up that down payment; so that way you can get back into a home that you really feel good about, that you like, that you're excited about. Right? And that is on every single level, right? Like looking at every area of your life and of your finances and saying, where am I today? And where do I want to be? And I will say one tip is not to skimp on insurance. A lot of times, when people are feeling stressed financially, then they may do away with or not prioritize insurance. But insurance is one of those things that's going to help protect you from being derailed when some big, unexpected expenses come up. So I encourage people to prioritize making sure they have appropriate insurance in place, whether that's health insurance or disability insurance could be life insurance, you know, certainly property and casualty insurance. Making sure that you have adequate protection is so important when you're going through this transition. And it's not something where you should skimp if you're trying to reduce your expenses. 

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

If I may say it boils down to education. Insurance is not something that you pick up in primary school, and that stays with you. Insurance is not something that parents customarily discuss in the household. It's a necessary evil. Who wants to spend money but you want to make your friends before you need them, and that's what insurance is all about. Having been there myself, in that divorce category, I know for a fact that planning for post-divorce growth is essential. When I talk about growth, I'm looking at investment. And a lot of people think that, oh no, I can't invest. Yes, you can. It's open to everybody. Once you've got a budget in place, you could have a portfolio. You need to start with a little bit and early. And when you look back, you will thank yourself for having done so Can you tell the audience how to address their investment strategy after a divorce to align with their new financial goals? 

 

LEAH HADLEY

It is really important. It's also really important that you take a step back and evaluate your risk tolerance.

A lot of times, people assume investments as part of their divorce settlement that may or may not be appropriate for themselves. And so number one, you have your goals in place. You're focusing on what's most important to you. what you're prioritizing. You're prioritizing your future self by making these investments, but you also want to make sure that you're doing the investment basics.

And that is buying low and selling high, right? And so that means that we can't get too nervous when our investments are going up and down with the market. And if you do get too nervous, that's where it's really critical that maybe you're not invested appropriately; that you do want to fully understand your risk tolerance and your capacity for risk before determining how you get invested. But I will say it's very common for people post-divorce to invest too conservatively because they've just gone through this big life change, they're feeling stressed about all of the changes that they've experienced, and so it is really important to take a critical look at those investments and say, All right. Now, I do need some return in order to reach my goals, and I want to be realistic about getting my money to work hard for me. And so while you always want to make sure that you are in alignment with your goals, your capacity for risk, and your tolerance for risk, sometimes you do need a little bit of a push in the direction so you get the returns that you need in order to reach those goals. 

The other thing is, though, sometimes when people are post-divorce, we actually switch the investments up to invest for income instead of for growth because of that reduction in income. And that might just be a temporary change. But know that there are options there in terms of how you're invested. And so it may mean that you need to supplement your income for a period of time. And so maybe you do invest more for income-generating dividends and interest, or maybe you're just really looking toward the future and investing in that future, and you want to focus on growing that portfolio. 

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

Great. Thank you for that. Because as I said, people just bury their heads in the sand, particularly, in a relationship where one spouse handled the bulk of the finances, and the other one felt totally inadequate. Don't believe that. There are many ways that you could handle those investments. Don't close your eyes on them. Make sure that it's part of your fair settlement because you deserve a piece of it. Right. Again, this could be another huge topic of conversation. The hour is getting late, but I really want to talk about effective communication with an ex-spouse about financial matters because it is important and if you need to talk about investment, you better be able to converse and communicate. So how can someone effectively communicate with their ex-spouse post-divorce?

 

LEAH HADLEY

Yeah, there are a lot of big issues that come up post-divorce as it relates to money. We have a case right now where we're literally doing an analysis on a divorce that happened 15 years ago because they never fully divided the assets. And so it is really important that you be clear about what you are talking about, and actually know that even if your spouse was the one who handled the money doesn't necessarily mean that they have a high financial literacy. Sometimes they've been doing it and they've just been hobbling along and may not know as much as you think they do. But it is really important to educate yourself to be able to speak clearly and communicate your needs. And the more that you can create clarity, the more you can deal with any of the financial issues that need to be addressed. 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

That was well said. Now that we are getting close to wrapping up, can you share some success stories of individuals who have successfully navigated their finances through a divorce?

 

LEAH HADLEY

Absolutely. And it's so interesting to me because sometimes People don't even realize that they navigated their finances well because they're just there's this lack of trust that exists through the divorce process.

 I was working with a couple who was going through mediation and, we, did a lot of prep for the wife heading into mediation. and then when she came back out with the settlement and I reviewed it, it turned out that she received so much more Roth IRA assets. And this was a man that she was, divorcing. He was very financially savvy, but he was so focused on particular areas that he didn't even recognize what he was doing. and she actually walked away with significantly more, in after-tax assets because. He was so focused on one particular account that he was concerned about. So that was just fascinating to me.

I have a client, God bless her. She was really worried about the amount of money she was spending on Starbucks because post-divorce, she wasn't sure how much she had to spend. And this is just something that you always hear about wasting money on coffee and this kind of a thing. We went through her budget together and she could very comfortably afford her Starbucks and not have to worry about it. And it was such a relief to her to know that she could have that pleasure.

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

Yeah, this is a guilty pleasure for some people. And so if it works for them and they can afford it, go for it. You only live once, right? That's right. It is always so inspiring to hear success stories.

And, this is going to be my last question for you, Leah, I promise, 

What is one piece of advice you would give to someone about to go through a divorce to protect their financial future? 

 

LEAH HADLEY

To educate yourself about your own financial situation. It's just so critical. Don't feel any shame about lack of knowledge.

I will say the vast majority of people I see have very limited knowledge, financial knowledge in general. But even about their own financial situation, that's completely normal. But it's a time when you have to prioritize it. It's so important that you fully understand what you're preparing to negotiate.

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

We are almost to the end. I would say this is another very enlightening episode of the Merging Life and Money show. Thank you, Leah, for your experience and expertise. So before we close, let me quickly go over what we talked about today. We touch on a few points, how to best prepare financially for a divorce.

We discussed the essential steps to take to ensure a solid financial foundation during this challenging transition, we talked about budgeting, protecting your credit score, and understanding your assets and liabilities. We also addressed financial mistakes to avoid during those negotiations, and we explored some pitfalls. And lastly, we talked about how to make your settlement last post-divorce. We covered some tips for creating a sustainable post-divorce financial plan. We talked about adjusting your investment strategy and we talked a little bit about effectively communicating with your ex-spouse to ensure long-term financial stability post-divorce.

Leah, I am sure that many of our listeners are eager to learn from you and possibly engage in your services. Could you kindly share with the audience how they could reach out to you? I'm going to put a banner down as well.

 

LEAH HADLEY

Absolutely. We do have a new podcast that just launched this year, 'Intentional Divorce Insights'. You can certainly learn more about intentional divorce and you know what it means and how you can really protect yourself during the divorce process. I'm on Instagram as Intentional Divorce Solutions and you can visit our website at GreatLakesdfs. com. 

 

MARIE-JO CAESAR

We have your information scrolling down, at the bottom of the screen. I will point out that, this was a very good, and engaging topic today. Many, many people are going through that thing called divorce and are totally unprepared. So I want to express a huge thank you to you, Leah, for sharing your wealth of knowledge and expertise with us.

Your guidance has been invaluable, and I am sure that our listeners are feeling more empowered and equipped to navigate their finances through a divorce. So thank you for joining us and for all the amazing work you do to help people thrive financially during challenging times. And to our listeners, thank you for tuning in.

Remember, and I will put it in the words of Nelson Mandela. 'Do not judge me by my success. Judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again'.

Folks, you have the power to take control of your finances and create a brighter future, even during life's transitions. So keep shining. 

If you find this episode helpful, I encourage you to share it with someone who might be going through a similar journey.

And again, thank you. Thank you, Leah.

Don't forget to subscribe to the Merging Life and Money show for more episodes on financial empowerment. 

I will also ask you to follow Leah's journey as she mentioned earlier, by subscribing to her YouTube channel, and by listening to her podcast for even more insights into financial wellness and empowerment. 

Again, thank you for joining us today. And remember, financial empowerment is within your reach, even during a divorce. I am your host, Marie-Jo Caesar. I will be back again next week. Until then, continue merging life and money. Bye for now.

Episode Introduction: Financial Divorce Preparation
Steps for Financial Organization Pre-Divorce
Budgeting and Emergency Savings Importance
Protecting Credit and Financial Identity in Divorce
Assets and Liabilities in Divorce Negotiations
Avoiding Financial Pitfalls in Divorce
Fair Division of Assets and Debts
Post-Divorce Financial Planning for Stability