In this interview episode, I’m chatting with online business mentor Jessica Parr about the struggles of motherhood & entrepreneurship. We tackle the tough topics: the real talk on burnout, finding your value as an entrepreneur, and the huge shifts motherhood brings to business. Whether you’re navigating the entrepreneurial waters or figuring out how to blend business with baby, this convo is packed with relatable stories and insights.
In this episode you’ll hear:
the ramifications of burnout
tips for women entrepreneurs
pricing & selling mindset
being a leader
motherhood in entrepreneurship
Meet Jessica Jessica Parr helps visionary female entrepreneurs rewrite the rules in their businesses to sell, scale and lead rich LIVES beyond just their bank accounts. She mentors women who’ve always felt like they’re meant for more and dream of impacting lives with their work, without sacrificing or abandoning themselves to make it a reality. Her programs offer a cohesion between business strategy, self-rediscovery, personal power, authenticity & confidence to take ownership of their unique value in the online space. Jessica is a mom, podcast host, speaker & has been in the professional coaching space for 10+ years.
Thanks for listening. If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram stories and tag me, @ambitiousbookkeeper
For more information about the Ambitious Bookkeeper Podcast or interest in our programs or mentoring visit our resources below:
Thank you for your support of our show. If you haven’t left a review yet it’s super simple. Please go to: https://www.ambitiousbookkeeper.com/podcast and leave your review.
In this interview episode, I’m chatting with online business mentor Jessica Parr about the struggles of motherhood & entrepreneurship. We tackle the tough topics: the real talk on burnout, finding your value as an entrepreneur, and the huge shifts motherhood brings to business. Whether you’re navigating the entrepreneurial waters or figuring out how to blend business with baby, this convo is packed with relatable stories and insights.
In this episode you’ll hear:
the ramifications of burnout
tips for women entrepreneurs
pricing & selling mindset
being a leader
motherhood in entrepreneurship
Meet Jessica Jessica Parr helps visionary female entrepreneurs rewrite the rules in their businesses to sell, scale and lead rich LIVES beyond just their bank accounts. She mentors women who’ve always felt like they’re meant for more and dream of impacting lives with their work, without sacrificing or abandoning themselves to make it a reality. Her programs offer a cohesion between business strategy, self-rediscovery, personal power, authenticity & confidence to take ownership of their unique value in the online space. Jessica is a mom, podcast host, speaker & has been in the professional coaching space for 10+ years.
Thanks for listening. If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram stories and tag me, @ambitiousbookkeeper
For more information about the Ambitious Bookkeeper Podcast or interest in our programs or mentoring visit our resources below:
Thank you for your support of our show. If you haven’t left a review yet it’s super simple. Please go to: https://www.ambitiousbookkeeper.com/podcast and leave your review.
Screenshot your review & email it to support@ambitiousbookkeeper.com by 11:59 PM Pacific August 1, 2024
Tune in to YouTube LIVE 9am Pacific Aug 2 to see who won!
my husband and I literally finished a whole conversation as we do. Every new year, are we going to wait this year? You know, what are our plans? What are our big goals? And we had decided that. And the next day I took a pregnancy test and found out I was expecting. So the universe has a sense of humor. And obviously it was such a big blessing. However pregnancy was extremely difficult for me. Like I was just very ill, very not myself, very depressed. And I'm sure that there's probably many women that can relate to that as well. So I don't think of it as just new mom kind of experience the last eight and a half months, but even the pregnancy itself and what that changed in my business was a lot. And I mean, I just want to like give props to all of the mothers out there because it is not just like That having a baby and then you have a baby, it's all the other parts of it too. Welcome back to the Ambitious Bookkeeper podcast. Today I have a special guest Jessica Parr, and we met on threads, which was kind of random because I don't really go on there much, but, welcome, Jessica. I'm going to have you just introduce yourself and, and, then we'll go from there. Yeah, sure. I mean, thank you so much for having me on the pod. And I honestly, I only started using threads recently too. So I've just made so many amazing connections and I'm excited to chat with your audience, but I am an online business mentor for female entrepreneurs. I recently also just became a mama. So we have lots in common and yeah, I can't wait to just dive right in. Yeah. So start with like, I guess a little background on how you got into becoming an online business mentor. Did you work in corporate? What, what's your story? I always like to know. And I like to dig into people's stories because someone in the audience is going to relate. So. I mean, it's a ride. I was always quite ' academic and I wanted to do a lot of different things. I just didn't know. What I wanted to do so I went to university, I went to college after university. I was still trying to figure it out. And I was on the side, I was coaching equestrian athletes because that was something I grew up doing competitively. And so what happened after I, spent a lot of time kind of Procrastinating with school. I decided to try freelancing and doing that on my own. And I actually did that for all of my twenties. So about a decade and grew my own business. I like to say I fell through on entrepreneurship. It was not planned and I had made so many. Bumps along the road and mistakes, but I grew that business to a six figure business and it was Thriving and amazing and kind of like what I wanted as a dream, but it was so demanding physically and mentally and By about 2019 when I was, you know, I was running clients at high level competition all the time and traveling at the end of that season, I burned out so badly that I was in and out of the hospital for about six months and I couldn't function. I couldn't work. I couldn't do anything. And it was quite a visceral experience. And I can talk about it lightly now, but back then it was very traumatic, but what happened was it became kind of like this catalyst for me diving into personal developments and. The entire kind of time that I had been an entrepreneur and pouring myself into work and being seen as successful and making a certain amount of money, I had really been disconnecting and dissociating from myself. And so that was kind of a forced I had to reconsider what success looked like for me and get really into, you know, mind body connection, how the things that we, you know, think and how we kind of create our own realities based on the patterns of our thoughts. You know, heal some trauma from my entire life that I was ignoring. And so that was a pivotal moment where I decided I really wanted to do something bigger with my career and work with women who were more alike work with clients who had bigger dreams and make more of an impact. And so I started at that point, kind of, Testing the waters with what I was doing in my business. And as only as of last year, in fact, the same month that I had my baby last year was the first month I actually fully transitioned out of that business. an online though I have been obviously serving female entrepreneurs in the online space for, for longer than that, but that is where we're at right now. Wow. So you made that whole transition, you said right after you had your baby or? Yeah. Well, the, the, essentially I had. Started, I thought about it and I, I definitely almost kind of started playing, I started my podcast in early 2020 and I started, you know, networking with more female entrepreneurs. I started doing in person events and all of that whilst I was running my business in person with competition clients and being a professional writer and all of these other things. I, probably in retrospect didn't need to pile everything on, but I really wanted to explore what that would look like for me. And at the very, at the end of 2022 is when I started working online specifically with women who are building their businesses. However, you know, I had a machine, so it actually took a long time for me to kind of dismantle that I ended up finding out I was pregnant at the beginning of 2023 and it accelerated the process. So I Went as hard as I could. I hosted my first retreat when I was like 30 weeks pregnant. I spoke on stages about burnout when I was like 20 weeks pregnant. I'm like, I'm going to just do everything I can like all in. And the month that I had my baby, I had him August 20th and the 30th last year. September was the first month that I was full time online. So I no longer was doing any more in person services in my business. And I have been ever since. Wow. That's incredible. so you have completely transitioned out of the coaching. What are you coaching writers? Is that what your Yeah. was? Okay. And now you're fully supporting online female entrepreneurs. So does that mean that you mainly work with other online business entrepreneurs or is it just like, that's your avenue for reaching other people? Entrepreneurs like other brick and mortar Yeah. I know I, I have kind of as an off hand worked with other brick and mortars just because of my personal experience and. I love doing different things, but the majority on almost all of my clients have been online service providers. many of them have like businesses where it is very much. Not necessarily selling digital products or anything like that, but it's, they're delivering different services. So people who are into, you know, somatics or fitness instructors, nutrition, nutritionists any kind of like specialists, even bookkeepers there's a zillion different businesses that I support. However, it really is kind of. Always grounded in the fact that these are women who want to have more freedom by building their business and using and leveraging the online platforms in order to do that, serve more clients, make more money and have more scalable systems. Which is essentially also part of why I pivoted. And it's kind of what I do in my own work as well. I love working with online entrepreneurs too. It's just a different, like it's a different mindset of clients that you're dealing with because I feel like a lot of us have done that internal work of like making sure that we're doing something that we're aligned with, which is what I think we're definitely going to dive into today. So can we talk a little bit about the ramifications of burnout. I don't know if I've, I mean, I've touched on burnout and on my podcast a little bit, but I haven't gone that deep into it, but I experienced something similar. Although I wasn't hospitalized the last couple of years, I got sick a lot. So, I honestly think it manifests so differently for so many different people because it really is like an umbrella term. I don't think there's actually a real definition. If you Google it, or if you know, you have like a male doctor define it for you, they're going to be like, you work too hard and now you're tired. But that is not the case. What have been my experience in talking to so many different women who have either written the, you know, the line of. being burnt out or actually just fully burnt out. And I think It really does. it's a combination for me and my business at the time. I was physically exhausting myself and pushing myself, but most of it honestly was very internal and mental. There's this thing when you are a young female entrepreneur where you do want your clients to be happy. And if you have the tendency to people, please, you're making decisions that may not feel good and aren't in integrity. And you have, you know, Certain demands that you're trying to meet with people, especially when it comes to then taking money in exchange for services, maybe if you haven't done the work around your own personal worth, there's things that happen there where you're over delivering and you are basically, you know, running yourself dry, trying to run a business and waking up one day wondering why you started your own business. And I know that so many women have experienced that. So for me, I feel like there was just so much misalignment where I was Burying myself in my job to avoid emotionally processing, spending any time with myself. And I wasn't kind of communicating authentically or working with people that were really aligned. I was taking clients to take clients and it really did catch up with me internally, all of the things. So that presented for me, just like to share my experience. Wildly, like I had started with pelvic pain. That was weird. And then I would be in and out of the doctors thinking, Oh, well, I guess I just have like chronic infections. And then it started with like horrific back pain and I would have MRIs and then it was horrific abdominal pain. Oh, maybe I have, I found out I had endometriosis and they, you know, I had like wild symptoms. I had really bad episodes of panic attacks for the first time. In the middle of the night, I would get 24 hour flus over the weekends and have like horrible fevers, like so visceral. So you're thinking the whole time there's stuff like there's something seriously wrong with me. I would have vertigo. I've never had that before and be out for like two days. And so it was, I had rashes all over my body, all these like very, very physical symptoms. So it was very frustrating. There was no answers at all and nothing connected to anything. So for me, I think it was just, I had pushed so hard to a point where was like, the alarms were sounding in my body. I was so disconnected from myself and very like disrespectful of the way that I was pushing myself. And it just like, it forced me, I could no longer do anything and it was really difficult, obviously. But it was I see it in retrospect, a necessary experience for me to be where I am today, feeling so differently about my business and also just having conversations with women. I think it can, it can very much present. Totally mentally, like total mental fog, depression, anxiety, and you know, I've dealt with that as well. And it can be like very crazy, random physical symptoms. The amount of women who have said like, I went to the emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack, but now it's just like this onset of anxiety. That no one has answers for, like, it's just, I don't think there's any kind of way that I could define it because it's so different, it's just your body all of a sudden saying, like, you're not listening to me, I need you to listen. Yeah, absolutely. It's I heard, I mean, it's one of those quotes or something that floats around a lot, but it's like, if you don't make time for us now, your, your body or whatever, it's going to force you to make that time at some point. And it's not going to be as pleasant. So I'm paraphrasing. I'm totally botching it. I always botch those quotes, but yeah, it's true. It's true. If you do overdo it. And a lot of us have that tendency. I mean, this is the Ambitious Bookkeeper podcast. Like, I'm a very ambitious person. I have lots of, lots of goals and lots of desires and, and things that I want to get done, but, like, it's been very humbling the past few years to, like, realize, like, I don't, I don't know how I accomplished all these things. when I was, you know, in my twenties, but I know I didn't sleep enough. There's that. drank way too much caffeine, but like now it's just, it's just not feasible if I'm truly taking care of myself. And that's something that I think a lot of us are coming to grips with in our thirties, forties of like, actually, I don't think we're meant to. Try to do this all right. So I do, I do try to, I, I coach a lot of bookkeepers and accountants on like starting a business and growing a business. And one of the main things, like I love getting in with them at the very beginning, like when they're just kind of in the idea stage, so I can arm them with like, these tools of like, let's really figure out what you want out of this so that you don't end up in a burnout situation. Cause it is very easy to just take on clients because you want clients or you need clients. And then, like you said, if you're a people pleaser, which a lot of us are, especially if you were in corporate and that's, I mean, that's how I advanced in corporate. I just said yes to every project, even though I didn't really have the time. yeah, I think, especially when you come from a corporate background and then you go into entrepreneurship. So I don't, that isn't typically my experience because I have been very entrepreneurial. I've had positions and employment. I would say I'm still very much an entrepreneur at heart and probably I'm not a good employee, but you know, I have worked with so many women who have come from that space, and there's a level of structure that you're kind of given. There's also, like, these validation feedback loops of, like, you're doing a good job. You're going in the right direction. These are your projects. Once you get these projects done, like, you're good, or these are your tasks for the day, like, Whatever you go into entrepreneurship and everything changes all of a sudden you're the adult in charge and your brain is like, Oh, wait a second. Right. There's the employee, the boss, you're everything, especially as a solopreneur and that's, you know, entrepreneurship is a trial by fire with personal development, because all of a sudden you're like, wait a second. I don't have these. Boundaries with myself. I don't have maybe a certain level of devotion or discipline that I need to do this because I'm the only person who's going to be let down or I'm the only person who I have to answer to. And there's no, there's consequences of course, but there's, that's not, you know, I feel like as women, we are more scared to inconvenience other people than to inconvenience ourselves. So then we run into all these issues and that's where, you know, there's a basis of my work in that where, where. Women all of a sudden are like, I feel like I'm doing, you know, the right thing or they do everything and they're not really doing any of the needle moving actions in their business. So there's just like a lot of things that can go sideways when we make that transition. Yeah. Absolutely. What is one of the first things that when you work with someone starting or growing their business, honestly, like what's one of the first things that you look at as like, let's, let's figure this out. And then, move on to the next, whatever roadblock we have. Yeah. I mean, it really depends on the person because my personality and there's many people that I work with that are very scrappy, they're happy to take messy action, they're happy to like trial and test and make mistakes and steal forward. I also work with women who are in high level corporate positions and they want to be consultants on the side, or they want to be fractional, you know, like CMOs or something, or just like something, and they, those women particularly, I feel really struggle with being like, Wait, wait, wait. You don't have like a timeline or criteria for me or like, what are my next? So it really depends. First of all, you have to know yourself. But the only way that you're going to get clarity is by taking action when you're an entrepreneur. So there is something to be said about just moving and trying things. And if you make a decision that's wrong, at least you're that much closer to making the right one. Because I think a lot of women actually do get stuck there. They're overthinking a lot of decisions. Everything has to be perfect. I need to have everything, all my ducks in a row before I ever take on a client. what if somebody like pays me and I like can't deliver and they're upset, you know, it's like all of this stuff. So it's, it's, it's much more like, okay, we're going to go down to the basics of this is the road that you want to go down, why? Let's be really clear about why you want this because if they're not clear on that, there's no point in building a business because you're going to get pulled in so many different directions and you're going to, you know, like follow the next shiny object and really not get where you want to go. So that's certainly like. Where I start and then as we go through taking action, there's obviously all of those other things that tend to pop up that we want to work through. Yeah. I, I wholeheartedly agree with that. Like figuring out why you actually want to do that, because when, when it gets tough, it's going to be really hard to keep going with if you aren't rooted in that, why so that is definitely a big one. one of the things that comes up a lot, um, obviously every type of business, not just bookkeepers and accountants. But like everything that you just said was like, yes, yes, I see that so much. And that's how I was at the beginning too. And I think that's why it's like, I love helping people through the, these, roadblocks because it's like I, I was there too and I did get through them and sometimes I backslide Y'all do. But now we have the tools to like get back on track. And it is really great accountability to help other people get through it too, because it's like, I got to practice what I preach. Yeah. but yeah, one of the things on the list was mindset around pricing and selling. And that is one area that is, a huge, a huge issue for so many bookkeepers and accountants because it's like there's so much that goes into it. But can we dive in? Can we dive into that topic This is my favorite thing to talk about. I'm like, I'm like vibrating. Yeah. I talk about this all the time, you know, whether it be in content or with clients, because obviously in my experience as an entrepreneur, I have. Been through the fire with pricing and devaluing and over delivering and dealing with conversations when you have clients that are pushing back or clients that are like, preemptively projecting at you, like, Oh my gosh, like, I really hope you don't. Because I won't be able to, oh my gosh. So I deal with this with clients all the time, right? If, when you have a business, you're going to have to be equipped to have confident and empowering conversations around money. And so I know it's really hard for people. But when it comes, yeah, I mean, I could start anywhere. I guess at the beginning of your business, it is tough because you are starting out and you are in fact, at times, maybe you're not walking into the experience charging premium pricing. And so what happens often is I have people walk into my world and they have some traction in their business. They have a client roster, except Their clients are at different price points or not paying enough for, you know, the level of value that they're giving and they're like, well, I want to scale my business, but I don't know what to do. When in fact, we really just need to, we need to work on the pricing. So as an example of how this can work, and I understand that it's so scary for people, but one of the things like we have to know as entrepreneurs is. That, we're serving people with, you The things that we bring to the table. So if you're a bookkeeper, for instance, first of all, as entrepreneurs and business owners, like we need you, it's a necessity. It's not even like a, this is a luxury item. It's, it's something that is so needed. So making sure that your mindset is strong around sales. Sales is not. It's lazy and it's not, you know, this audacious thing. It's, it's very much in service and you are not being paid directly often just for your time, but you're also to be compensated for all of the experience, the school, the time that you've put into that moment to be able to provide that service. And I think sometimes we get that wrong as well when we're starting out. And if you're someone who has that, like, you know, newly established business and you're at that place where. You know, that you're not charging enough. You need to make a change. That is where you really do have to come into your personal power and know that oftentimes as you grow and scale a business, there will be moments where you have to make space for new, better, higher level, more aligned clients to come in. And we often do that by raising our prices. And there's so many. You know, I understand that women get so much resistance around this but there's also so many ways that you can have really confident, empowering conversations with clients about this. And they're like really excited to stick around with you too. You know, when you think about the people that you pay for any kind of services, I'm sure you can think of an example of someone you've been with for a long time. You love what they do, the work they do for you, and they've raised their prices consistently, or at least on like a regular basis. And that wasn't, you weren't loyal to their prices. You were loyal to them and you stayed. And at the end of the day, when clients leave too, we have to know that that's not about us. It's not about our value or our worth as people. We cannot be tethering our services to that. So that, I mean, geez, I could just keep going. I don't want to take up all your podcast time, but there's, there's a lot there. I'll give a quick like real life example. I have this client I've worked with for a really long time and she had that issue where she, her business is growing. She's only has so much room and she has a lot of staggered pricing because of the way that her business has exploded in the last year or whatever. And she was very nervous to upper prices and streamline things. So we did that as of May 1st reluctantly, but excitedly and, worked on the conversation and the confidence around that. She was really preparing for the worst. Like, okay, if this many people leave, then I'll be able to do X, Y, Z. And, what happened was she, did that. All of the clients stayed, you know, all of the prices raised, and then she signed multiple new clients at the new price points the second week. And I think there's something to be said about when you value yourself and your services, people value you more. So I mean, effectively in 2 weeks, she like increased her monthly income by a third and I was like, okay, so you understand when we do this next time. We're going to be okay. Um, but with women, especially, I think it's like, it's really hard because sometimes we're passionate about what we do and, you know, when. People are giving us in exchange for our services, money, we tend to be like tethering our personal worth and what it means about us. And that can be detrimental to our business. I Yeah, absolutely. Oh, I love all of that so much. So many thoughts were like bouncing around in my head about, I've had similar experiences coaching other bookkeepers with the price increase. And it's like, we do the exercise of like Okay, if you increase everybody by like 5%, you're going to get this much back in your business and most likely all those people will stay. But let's look at it to see if it, if like half the people leave, then you're freed up to like bring on new clients. And so it, it really is a win win situation ultimately, but it's so scary. guess I, yeah, I totally understand because even to this day, I know it in my heart. I've done it so many times. I'm comfortable having the conversations, but in the same vein, it never doesn't feel uncomfortable. Like it always will. I think once you just do it and you see the evidence that, you know, everything isn't going to burn to the ground. And you don't make it mean anything about you, whatever happens, happens then it's easier then to continue doing it. I certainly think it's, it's difficult for women to kind of, and, and I think we're just naturally like, okay, what's the worst case scenario when we should be looking at, the worst case scenario is you make space for so much more. exactly. And the other part of it too I come across this a lot and I'm guilty of it as well of like knowing that there's a client that we need to offboard or whatever, but you still are like, but I just want to help this client. Like they really do need me. And it's like, and they maybe value you, maybe not so much, but like we just get so wrapped up in like the success of our clients too, as bookkeepers of like, I don't help them, no one will. And it's not true. All the stories we tell ourselves, right? Honestly, I think like anyone listening to this, whatever business they're in, they probably really do care about those clients that, you know, that if you're going to evolve, they probably like can't or won't go with you. And you get kind of running all those narratives in your mind around early. I just want to, like reward them for being there for, and I just want to, you know, and or see it through. Like I have this one that she's kind of on the brink of like closing down and I'm like, well, she's about to close. I just want to get her to that point or like maybe she'll turn it around and then I can easily be like, all right, now you need to hire someone in house. Like, you know, Yeah, and that's where, like, that self leadership comes in and that whole thing I was talking about the paradox of the employee and the, the kind of like business owner and it's again, it's difficult. However It, and it depends on your goals too, because if everything in your business is functioning entirely as you want, and you're not really making changes and it doesn't affect you fine, but most likely there's a reason that you're having those feelings about that client. So many of us do. It's just part of being a business owner. And it doesn't mean anything about you or that person. However, I think it's also important to come back to being kind of like in your CEO mode and going, okay, well. Am I making a decision that is going to accelerate and benefit my business? Or am I making a decision that is going to be easier for my ego in this moment? Because I find we come to that little crossroads very often as entrepreneurs. I've made both of those decisions all of the time. I've made, I've made so many of those and gone the wrong way. However, when you have goals to get to a certain level in your business, or you want to truly like be aligned also, it might not even have to do with price. We have to like put our little leadership hat on and be like, am I serving my, you know, self that really just wants this person to like me or am I serving my business where I need to make this decision because it's going to get me closer to what I want as a whole, right? I relate to that so much, and I also, like, when you start to add team, sometimes those business decisions become clearer and easier to make, like the tough decisions, because it's like, now my team is relying on me to lead for one and set the example. And then the other part of it too, is it's like. You become like a protector of your team and of their time and like their joy around. if that stuff matters to you, I guess I should caveat. I, that's how I feel. I'm like, I want my team to enjoy what they're doing and enjoy all the clients we work with. And if I don't enjoy working with this client, like, I'm not going to put this on them. So it's like, you're also like, you know, you get to this point where, like, you're protecting the team as well. So sometimes those decisions become easier or they, or it forces you to kind of like make them faster before things kind of unravel. So there's multiple benefits of having a team, but sometimes that stresses people out. They're like, I don't want to, I don't want team relying on me. But like, for me, it's good accountability in those situations. I know, like, as you're saying that, I'm thinking in my mind, you know, because my experience is mostly as a solopreneur, I've had people kind of working contractually. However, as you say, you know, it makes it easier, you make decisions faster and maybe it's not easier, but I feel forced to because I'm taking care of, you know, the greater vision. And it's such a mirror to what mentorship is and what I do, you know, with the clients that I work with and also why I always have kind of had or tried to have a mentor in my corner too. Because when you are held to a certain standard or you know that you have someone to report back to, who's going to, keep you accountable to your potential and your big goals of the business, you are so much more likely to make those decisions in the right way and make them faster. Yeah, and just having someone in your corner rooting for you also helps because it's like and you can talk through like, how am I going to say this? How am I going to word it? And like practice it and stuff. There's many benefits to working with a mentor and in that capacity, of course, but okay. So can we talk about, we didn't really talk about motherhood. in entrepreneurship. And I feel like we definitely need to. So you're a new ish mom. You're, is a boy or girl? it's a boy. Yeah. He's almost Okay. nine months shortly. All right, so coming up on a year, talk to us about that first year in business with a new baby because I know someone's listening that's like, I want to do my business, but I don't know how to get it all done. I mean, I'll be completely candid and honest. I at the beginning of 2023, like I'm sure many people listening to this and like yourself, I'm, I'm super ambitious. I have big goals. I've always been really career oriented just as a person. And so I've always wanted to be a mom, but I've also always known that I wanted to have. Seasons, and I wanted to kind of plan things out. Of course, we know that that doesn't always happen. So my husband and I literally finished a whole conversation as we do. Every new year, are we going to wait this year? You know, what are our plans? What are our big goals? And we had decided that. And the next day I took a pregnancy test and found out I was expecting. So the universe has a sense of humor. And obviously it was such a big blessing. However pregnancy was extremely difficult for me. Like I was just very ill, very not myself, very depressed. And I'm sure that there's probably many women that can relate to that as well. So I don't think of it as just new mom kind of experience the last eight and a half months, but even the pregnancy itself and what that changed in my business was a lot. And I mean, I just want to like give props to all of the mothers out there because it is not just like That having a baby and then you have a baby, it's all the other parts of it too. I certainly struggled because also I was pivoting out of a business that required me to be very physical, you know, like riding horses and doing all of that all the time. So losing that autonomy and ability in some ways was very difficult. However, it forced me to accelerate what I was doing with business coaching. And I really, really thrived with that because I could, you know, it didn't require me to be physical. And I was really just trying to give myself grace and compassion because I did have to, you know, cancel on things and I did have to not be in my best energy all the time. And I think it's. The biggest struggle for me personally and what I often and coaching clients through, and I think you mentioned it when we talked about burnout is like intentional rest. And you know, when, when you don't necessarily do it, your body will force it to you. However, there's this, you know, At least in my experience and what I experienced with other women that I work with is that we can force ourselves to rest. However, there's an internal narrative that usually is happening there when we're resting. It's like, well, I'm not being productive enough. I am, I'm going to force myself to rest, but what am I actually getting done today? Like, what do I need to do next? And if you're a mom of multiple children, well, like cool. If you go sit down for 10 minutes, but you're just like, I can't believe I'm taking this 10 minutes. I could be doing something. I could be getting the dishes done. I could be doing, taking a shower. So. It really does come down to, again, like everything I kind of teach and talk about is, well we need to kind of find something that is going to re energize you. And forcing yourself to rest and then beating yourself up for resting is not resting. so that's kind of on the pregnancy front. I struggled with that. I'm a mover. I'm always doing stuff. So it was very difficult. becoming a new mom and having no sleep. And you know, my husband has a very grueling job schedule because we live in the country as well. So he has to get up really early in the mornings to travel. So I was doing nighttime all by myself. And he slept, like I had no, no sleep at all. so for that, I think, again, it's just. I remember crying. I melted down on the, on the call that I had in a mastermind that I met because little old me over here, like with like my two month old and a mastermind, like I got to keep going. uh, it was just this, what I did the whole time throughout pregnancy and kind of up to that point was resist. I was resisting. I was resisting that I couldn't have it all at the same time. And so my advice for any women, because what changed after that was I just. I, I kind of, you know, I leaned on my circle for support, but what I did was surrender, you know, what I wanted to not do was accept the fact that I couldn't do everything that I was doing before. And I feel like that was the hardest part for me becoming a mom was. I was resisting and resisting and trying to be all these things and do all these things and the whole, that in and of itself was more exhausting than just accepting the season, being compassionate towards myself, and then surrendering and knowing that okay, how can I, instead of feeling awful when I'm doing my work, because I'm not with baby and then feeling awful when I'm with baby, because I'm not doing my work, how can I just be so grateful? That I am having this experience. Can I prioritize myself? I'm the vehicle for my success and like lean back into that acceptance. And like I mentioned, it was extremely hard. I feel like I'm a little bit of acceptance. But there's still days where I run up against that wall. And I'm sure there's lots of moms that run up against it too. Like, you know, if I had XYZ or more time freedom or more this or more that, and we can easily get in that cycle of like, getting a little bit frustrated with her. Honestly, the worst kind of combatant that you have is yourself. When you, you become a mom. Speaking from personal experience, that's all I can say. Cause I, I'm obviously a very new mom, but I think that that is the hardest thing to navigate. And so you have to remember that, like you. Are probably in some ways you're probably the hardest on yourself. You're probably putting the most pressure on yourself. Like, how can you, instead of being that combatant, like I mentioned, how can you like really, really, really almost nurture yourself and rebuild an entirely new relationship? I think as challenging as it has been as a female entrepreneur and having a baby and then continuing to work motherhood is really like opened up a new side of me that I didn't even know existed. when you're in the fog of it, especially at the beginning, I remember telling myself, like when people would say that to me, well, you're in the thick of it, you're in the fog. And I was like, I'm not in the fog. I'm just angry. I resist the fog. Oh my God. You know, like I was wild because I was, you know, and you, what you go through and what you do and what you actually are capable of is so amazing. And I mean that now, like as anyone who's a mother at all or a woman running her own business, it's like, give yourself some credit. Cause you're a fricking superhuman. And I don't think you can't have it all. I just think that you can't have it all exactly at the same time. And so instead of fighting that, it's really, really helpful to surrender to the beauty of the fact that you have the capacity to hold so much. Space for things that you love in your heart. And that's what I kept telling myself. Yeah. Oh, I love that. I started my business when I had a one year, almost one year old and Then I found out I was pregnant. So then I like kind of launched my big business while I was pregnant with a toddler. And then I have an older child too. She's about to graduate high school. And, at the time she was 10. And so she was in school, but I had the, the little ones and like being pregnant, I was like, I had a decent, Not, not too difficult pregnancy, that last one, but my first two, my girls, I worked during those pregnancies in corporate and they were rough. And it's like, I, yeah, I don't even, I've blocked half of that out of Right. How do you survive in the wild? but yeah, and then I thought, That I could, I was like, Oh, they say like the third one is like nothing. Like, cause you already have two, like, it'll just be like barely, uh, an addition that was not the case for me because they were so close in age. It was almost like having twins. And so I basically put my business on pause for the first entire year of his life after he was born. So like, I did all this work to like launch it and like gain a few clients. and then. I had to just take a break. I think I maintained like one or two clients while he was a baby, but it was so hard. And that whole first year was just a blur. And then it got to the point where I was like, okay, he's a year old. I can do this. Um, But yeah, it's, I don't believe the whole like, Oh, the third one is like nothing. Maybe it is if they're all already like in the same age range, but. It was a, I had a different experience for sure. I honestly think everyone does, right? Like it's so different. And I, after having a child, I recognize that you can't really compare. Anyone's experience because we're all so like, it's so different. There's so many nuances to our lives and our routines and how we live them. So that being said, they need. yeah, I think it's a whole other podcast episode Oh yeah, for sure. for sure. Yeah. yeah. So where can people connect with you if they want to learn more about your coaching or I know you have a podcast, the I'll Admit podcast. I've been listening to that. So I definitely recommend listening. We'll link it in the show notes, but where's the best place for people to connect with you online? Yeah, probably Instagram because it has links to everything you could possibly need. That's @jessicamparr and I'll send it to you, but that's kind of the hub for where I kind of conglomerate all of the platforms and the podcasts. Yeah, I just relaunched it. At the end of March after taking a very long hiatus, but I'm excited to be back. I love podcasting and I love having conversations like this. So, there too. Awesome. Yes. We will link all the resources in the show notes. Thank you so much for coming on here and chatting with me. I really appreciate your time. And if you're listening to this and anything resonated in this episode with you, please tag both of us on Instagram. our handles will be linked in the show notes and thanks again for listening. Thank you so much.
