All About The Joy
Common Decency, Definitions of Joy and Yes, a Talk About Mothers
Can traveling with family turn into a logistical nightmare or an unforgettable adventure? Cynthia chimes in from the airport preparing to embark on a whirlwind journey sharing her excitement and the challenges of planning a family trip.
We lighten the mood with amusing stories about surprise phone calls and impromptu celebrations, and Rick adds his unique humor to the mix, making for a truly engaging start to our episode.
The conversation takes a nostalgic turn as we explore the emotional ties between music and family, with nods to Tupac Shakur and Freddie Mercury, and share tender moments spent with our mothers.
What happens when a wedding photographer deletes all the photos because they weren't fed at the event? Our debate gets even funnier when Charlie joins in as we discuss professional courtesy, empathy, and common decency. We tackle the topic of generosity in social situations and share laugh-out-loud personal anecdotes and can't stop laughing when a humorous mishap occurs with Charlie's video feed. We round off the episode with reflections and definitions on joy, parenting, and the impact of early discipline, delivering insights on maintaining happiness amidst the world's negativity... Don't miss this lively episode filled with laughter, memories, and lots of JOY!
If you'd like to watch the unedited video:
https://youtube.com/live/wyHSXzhNYmI
Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.
Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Can traveling with family turn into a logistical nightmare or an unforgettable adventure? Cynthia chimes in from the airport preparing to embark on a whirlwind journey sharing her excitement and the challenges of planning a family trip.
We lighten the mood with amusing stories about surprise phone calls and impromptu celebrations, and Rick adds his unique humor to the mix, making for a truly engaging start to our episode.
The conversation takes a nostalgic turn as we explore the emotional ties between music and family, with nods to Tupac Shakur and Freddie Mercury, and share tender moments spent with our mothers.
What happens when a wedding photographer deletes all the photos because they weren't fed at the event? Our debate gets even funnier when Charlie joins in as we discuss professional courtesy, empathy, and common decency. We tackle the topic of generosity in social situations and share laugh-out-loud personal anecdotes and can't stop laughing when a humorous mishap occurs with Charlie's video feed. We round off the episode with reflections and definitions on joy, parenting, and the impact of early discipline, delivering insights on maintaining happiness amidst the world's negativity... Don't miss this lively episode filled with laughter, memories, and lots of JOY!
If you'd like to watch the unedited video:
https://youtube.com/live/wyHSXzhNYmI
Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.
Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Yay, Hi everyone. Welcome to All About the Joy Internacional. Almost Cynthia is in the house and she's where.
Charlie Mattera:I am at the airport on my way to Italy.
Rick Costa:Well we're going to Switzerland first.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, are you going to Switzerland first?
Rick Costa:Yeah, we have to stop in Switzerland. How did?
Carmen Lezeth:I miss that. Oh, you have to stop in Switzerland. And a layover, yeah, a layover, because it's not your personal jet. You decided to fly commercial this time. Just want to have fun in the commercial world of flying so you have a layover what I said to see how the regulars do it.
Carmen Lezeth:Not like us emoji people. Let me see if I can close this up. Hey, melanie, how are you? Rick's going to be on, hopefully a little bit later. He's just running late, but he just texted me, so I said we're going to go on early right now so we can talk to Cynthia before she boards her chart and flight. It's so funny. Okay, so you land in Switzerland. It's a layover. How long is the layover? Just an hour, it's not too bad. Oh, no, that's going to be. Oh, they're just refueling or something. Maybe we don't know. See, because I always get worried when I have a layover that's that short and they have to move stuff from the place. Oh, I shouldn't tell you that, because then you lose your luggage Like this. That's why I only bring a carry-on, but I'm sure you brought more than just a carry-on. Oh yeah, okay, so an hour, and then you're off from Switzerland. You're going to Venice, right? Yes, oh my God. And then we're on the ship. Wait. So how long are you in Venice? Just a day.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, we leave tomorrow night 8 pm from Venice on the ship, okay, and then you get on. I think the worst part of the whole trip, which is the next two weeks right, is your cruise.
Charlie Mattera:And you're out.
Carmen Lezeth:Wow, you're going to have so much fun. I would like a large T-shirt, especially from Greece, because you're going to be in Greece, which I think is the best part. I don't want like a cheesy T-shirt, though. I'm just saying Okay, hot men, give them my number freely. You know my type. Find out what's in their bank account. First important one wants to know what kind of alcohol you want. Oh, I don't want alcohol, big drinker, okay, but one you're live now you're live now.
Rick Costa:Say hi to everybody hi, everybody yeah why does he think I'm?
Carmen Lezeth:a big drinker. Now You're alive. Now Say hi to everybody, Hi everybody. Why does he think I'm a big drinker? He thinks everybody's a big drinker Because he doesn't drink. I think it's funny because he has a perception of me of being like a drinker I'm a floozy, but I'm not a big drinker. That's where his confusion must be. That must be what it is. Okay so what are you most excited for the trip?
Charlie Mattera:Just to be in the sun and at the beach.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, see, I have that all the time here. That wouldn't be my thing. I do too, but Come on, I got to get a little dig in there. I'm jealous not of the cruise part. Now, see, if we had coordinated this well, I could have gone out with you, stayed in Switzerland or Venice while you guys go on the cruise, vaya con Dios, and I could have gone and hung out with Nazeem I was going to say one of my clients, but yeah, that wouldn't have been fun because somehow I would just be doing work Right. So what are you most excited about besides the beach? Whatever? What country? Greece, yeah, I'm so jealous. And the family, the rest of everybody is already there, or did they?
Charlie Mattera:just leave earlier.
Rick Costa:They left a little earlier. Yeah, so they're on their way.
Carmen Lezeth:And I think it's going to be a good trip. I'm feeling very positive of traveling with family Because I know that's always a problem.
Rick Costa:Hold on one second.
Carmen Lezeth:Hi, rick, she's listening.
Rick Costa:Are you?
Carmen Lezeth:listening to them. I'm listening Okay. So Rick Cynthia's, at the airport, how you doing Good?
Rick Costa:good, how are you?
Carmen Lezeth:And she is waiting for her flight, which is going to be in now. Yeah, they're starting to board, oh. Do you want to be now 13 minutes? Yeah, they're starting to board, oh do you want? To say goodbye to Rick, then. Adios, hey look, it have a beautiful trip. Please text me once in a while and send me a picture or whatever.
Rick Costa:Yes, I will text you once we land, so you know that we're all there.
Carmen Lezeth:No, no, that I'm not worried about. I'm worried about when you're all there and Emily. So take a breath. I love you. Bye, tell Juan. I said bye. Have a good trip. Bye, juan.
Rick Costa:Bye.
Carmen Lezeth:Juan Bye. Okay bye, bye, cool, hang on, I got you, I got you. She's so cute. How are you Rick? Good, cool, you might have to. Oh, hang on, I got you, I got you. She's so cute. How are you Rick?
Rick Costa:Good, good. What was funny today was I had to call a particular company to see if they had something in stock and she goes oh, you know what? I'm actually going to refer you to somebody else because I'm on a plane right now. I was like, oh sorry.
Carmen Lezeth:That's what's going on today. So, how are you doing today?
Rick Costa:Doing good, doing good. We had a little mini celebration before the bigger one on Sunday.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, Okay, wait First. We have to talk about something first. We've got to talk about something because that's on my list. That's on my list, but here's what happened. So yesterday or last night at some point, when I came home from work, I saw that you had posted something that said happy birthday to your mom. It was really sweet, and of course I. It was like six or seven hours later but I didn't even see that. But I totally freaked out because my mom's birthday is on June 12th and I was like there is no way that Rick and my mother's birthday is on the same day. So I think it was, honestly, I don't know one o'clock in the morning, your time. It didn't even dawn on me because I was shook by it and I text you.
Carmen Lezeth:And of course you answered back. Did I wake you up?
Rick Costa:No, I was still up, oh my.
Carmen Lezeth:God, I don't know how you do that, but anyway you text me back and you said no, her birthday's on the 13th, because for me it was already the 13th because I'm on East Coast. Oh, that's right, but you posted it earlier, wait.
Rick Costa:But it was after midnight. I purposely waited until after midnight.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, but that's after 9 o'clock my time, right? Oh, that's why. Okay, so I totally panicked and I was shook by it. Here's the thing, that's still cool. So 12th and 13th, and then billy my brother from another mother. His birthday is on the 10th and our andrea's birthday is on the 11th, so it's 10, 11, 12, 13, and then you had your son is also on send the last day of the month, on 30th yeah, that's cool too, but anyway, shout out to all the birthdays.
Carmen Lezeth:I thought that was cool. Andrea is also, I believe, believe she's. I think they were landing in London. So, Andrea is also out of the country and she will be in Germany with her daughters and stuff. So yeah, the two of them are gone. Can you imagine how rude they are? Didn't bring their laptops to just come on in. No, I'm just kidding.
Rick Costa:Was it a pleasure or business for Andrea?
Carmen Lezeth:Oh no, her kids know it's pleasure, and Andrea is going back to Germany. She lived in Germany for a while and so she's going back there to revisit some places and she's excited to bring her daughters there, and so that's cool. Yeah, so it's a big travel time for people in the summer. I forget that.
Rick Costa:Yeah, that's true. Yeah, True true.
Carmen Lezeth:When you were not having to take care of your mom, did you travel a lot more. You're not a traveling person. Nah, okay, is there a reason why? Or you don't want?
Charlie Mattera:to talk about it.
Rick Costa:Money's a big thing, but yeah. Plus, if I want to go somewhere, I don't really want to go alone and I'm like who do I have to go with? Not really nobody. Mom doesn't even have a passport, and that's a whole story and a half to get into why. But yeah, but I have been to Portugal when I was in second grade, I've been to Bermuda three times and I've been to Canada multiple times.
Carmen Lezeth:I feel like Canada doesn't count. No, I'm just kidding. I think we've all been there one way or another. Yeah, I love Canada, I do. I didn't mean to say that.
Rick Costa:I used to think like why do I have to show you a passport? You're practically us anyway, Exactly.
Carmen Lezeth:Like. That's the whole thing I'm like, but that's why I called it Dear Mama. There's a rap song. For those of you who don't know, I know if Tony was here he would be like oh duh, but it's a Dear Mama by Tupac Shakur, the late and great Tupac Shakur. It's one of my favorite rap songs, but it's more the storytelling. But he's talking to his mother. Singing about his mother and saying you are appreciated is the other part of the song. So I was just thinking do you have I'm sure you do or do you want to share any really cool moments about your mom? And I can go first, but I don't know, because I didn't prepare you for that.
Rick Costa:So, speaking of that song, I remember I think it was last year when I finally saw the video to that song. I was like oh that's really nice. Oh, it was you to say okay, that's why oh my goodness. Yeah, but I think of that other. Who's the guy that died? The one that sings mama? Who sings that Mustache? Who sings that Mustache?
Carmen Lezeth:I can't figure that one out. I don't know what the song is you're singing.
Rick Costa:He sang it in concert, like his last concert. Even he sang it to his mom as she watched Sing it. That's all I remember. She's like mama. He has a thick mustache. He died. Freddie Mercury Is that what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I couldn't think of he died a long time ago but I know, yeah, I forget that that's a very famous song because that's the only reason I know, because it's that famous I'm just trying to get the name of the song.
Carmen Lezeth:It's killing me, okay. Somebody in the audience I'm like because I, okay, anyways, it's freddie mercury, but it's so funny because he's died like a long time ago. Yeah, and freddie mercury is one of my favorites prince. Anyway, we don't have to go down that whole road. You know what it just hurt me when you just sang that song. I don't know why.
Carmen Lezeth:Did Prince ever do a mama song, like a song about his mom, I don't know. I'd have to hear it. I don't think, I don't know. So Prince would do certain covers of certain songs. I don't recall if he ever did a cover of anything by Queen which is Ferdinand Mercury, as Queen.
Rick Costa:I just thought, since he wrote so many songs, that maybe he had one for his mom maybe I don't know.
Carmen Lezeth:I know this is sacrilege to all fans of Prince. I don't know every single song of every single artist I love and I know this song you were talking about. Can't think of the name of it. The thing is, it's like happy birthday. Everybody should know this song you were talking about. Can't think of the name of it. The thing is, it's like happy birthday. Everybody should know this song, because that's not the chorus. I'm just a poor girl. That's just the beginning what you're singing is the beginning.
Rick Costa:Oh, that's not the same song, I think so.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, now you're going to make me look it up. I don't know. Now I'm getting confused because the part you sang is not the. It's a beautiful part of it, but it's not the whole song. Yeah, I'm going to be condemned by Queen fans, prince fans right now. Thank you, I just want to say thank you so much.
Rick Costa:Because I think I remember he did like a huge concert and it was televised and he said his mama was watching him sing that song and I was like oh Well, maybe yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:He said his mama was watching him sing that song and I was like, oh Well, maybe yeah. Yeah, yeah, and I don't know if he wrote the song for her.
Rick Costa:I don't, no, I don't know.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know everything. I know it's a shocker. I know it's a shocker, I don't know.
Rick Costa:The heart just stopped.
Carmen Lezeth:Everything Right. I know what I know Favorite moment of your mom. Okay, I'm going to go first because you're going to deflect. You're like you don't know much trouble I just had today with my mom.
Rick Costa:No, it was not a bad day.
Carmen Lezeth:No. So look at again. My mom died when I was really little. I don't remember much and that's what sometimes I focus on, that I wish I remembered. I don't remember what she looks like. I have some pictures, but they're not really of when I was a kid, it's like before she had me, or so. I think that's always a sadness for me to not be able to remember. And then sometimes, when I do remember, it's fuzzy, like it becomes like a montage of Maya Angelou, like other people who I think represent something of my mom. So it's always weird. So I was trying to think about it today and I was like there's a photo of me and my mom that I have. We're in a photo booth and I'm really little and it's the only picture I really think looks like what she might have looked like when she was alive and I was around her. But I'm really small in that picture. I'm really a little kid, so I like that picture. I'm really a little kid, so I like that picture.
Rick Costa:Kids. Today they're taken for granted. Everybody got pictures of everything today because we got the phones and everything, so they take it for granted. We didn't have that when we were little.
Carmen Lezeth:Now in my house.
Rick Costa:My mom took a bajillion pictures of everything, so we got tons oh my God Books and books full of pictures.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, but here's the thing Are they Polaroids or whatever?
Rick Costa:they were back then. A lot of them are. A lot of them are.
Carmen Lezeth:So I remember and this isn't my mom, but I remember vaguely as a kid that we collective, we didn't have cameras, like they were expensive back then to have a Polaroid I can't even say that word very well, but Polaroid and it would come out so you'd have a camera for all the kids who were listening and it would be bulky, it would be big, it'd be like maybe half of this, right, it would be like half of this thing or something, right Like that. And and you would take the picture.
Rick Costa:And now, no, you had to pose and the button was like a slider on the bottom and it was awkward, I'm like, because how do you not shake the camera and do it at the same?
Carmen Lezeth:time and you would go whatever, and then it would come out right then and there and that was cool and it would be all white and then it would fade into the picture. It would take I don't know like a minute or two and if. Oh, I forgot about that, but that was a really cool kind of thing, but we didn't appreciate it then, but we couldn't really afford that. So that's what I'm saying. I don't know if it's we didn't have a lot of pictures, but I think we did not, because we didn't have a camera all the time or the film, cause you had to buy that film all the time.
Rick Costa:Yeah, yeah, my mom, she was crazy with that. And then she had the little square bulbs that you had to put on top and they got. Yeah, yeah, they got hot too. If you touched it, you were getting burnt after that thing, oh my god, rick, I forgot about that.
Carmen Lezeth:So on our phones it automatically changes the light or you can, whatever, but you had to buy and you'd screw it on, yeah yeah, you had four times.
Rick Costa:It was a square that's right.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, each flash was a picture, and then you had to. You used all four and then you use another one. Yeah, we didn't have that on a regular basis, I'm sure of it now. That's or you would have a camera, not thearoid, and then you would take all the pictures that you were allowed the film. It was like a little film canister and you'd put it into the camera 35 millimeter. Whatever? I don't even know you would take the pictures and be like what? Like 25 or 30 pictures.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, something like that, hey, every kid in the room pay attention. You would then take the canister, the film canister, out and you would walk your butt to the local Photoshop or grocery store that would handle it, or whatever, and then you'd have to wait seven days to pick it up.
Rick Costa:Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true. Photo Mat, I think, was the place we had here here, was like a little booth. It wasn't even like an had here here was like a little booth. It wasn't even like an official building, it was like a little booth and I'm like you sit in this little thing, where do you do all the work? I must send it off, obviously.
Carmen Lezeth:I remember we would go into the grocery store Maybe there was a little annex or something but we'd be in the grocery store and you could leave them. And then we would not, we, but you could leave them. And then we would not, we, but you could pick it up the next time you came shopping or something. But it would always be like at least five days, and then you had to pay for that.
Rick Costa:Yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:So they did it for free and remember they came in those white envelopes.
Rick Costa:Oh my gosh, we still have some. I'm sure we have some here, I'm sure.
Carmen Lezeth:That's so cool. So you would go and you would pick up your pictures a week later and you'd be excited and you open it up. And the worst feeling was when you would open it up and it would be like blurry, yeah, and then there would be like two great pictures or something. But when it all came out great, it was awesome.
Rick Costa:But yeah, oh, my god, I hadn't thought about that in forever yeah, I remember we had like one that was like a rectangular like this and I had the bulb thing. It's just like a little button on top. Then we had like one like this. We actually did have a flash weddings.
Carmen Lezeth:I see those a lot still at weddings because they put them on every table at the reception and then people. So there has to. You're right. There's still these places that do that. You're right, there has to be and the um.
Rick Costa:Oh yeah, that's another thing too yes, that's right, mel Melanie Now we got Photoshop to get rid of that mess. Yeah, or whatever.
Carmen Lezeth:And it automatically does it too. It can fix it too, yeah.
Rick Costa:Definitely.
Carmen Lezeth:What were you saying about the flat ones? I forgot.
Rick Costa:I interrupted you.
Carmen Lezeth:It's all good, that's right, but what are some good memories you remember with your mom? If you don't, it's okay.
Rick Costa:One. Remember with your mom. If you don't, it's okay. One thing was her cooking. Cooking, she could cook, oh, she could cook. Past tense she could cook, oh, yes, she could. My god, kodak box camera oh, I remember those two.
Carmen Lezeth:They were like disposable ones you used to say remember, there's a podcast. So melanie just said my dad had a kodak, kodak I box camera, I know, because it's been so long.
Carmen Lezeth:No, the only reason why I say that is because, part of again, I'm always going to complain about editing until I have an editor. Sorry, you're all going to have to hear it again, because what ends up happening is, if I don't mention it, it doesn't make sense in just the audio version, and then I have to figure out a way to edit it out. And what ends up happening that's really hard is if we go back like we talk about something else and then we talk about oh yeah, when Melanie said da-da-da-da-da, I have to go find that too.
Rick Costa:Yeah, but I remember they had disposables and you literally took the pictures and then you turn the entire camera in for the development of the pictures, the whole thing.
Carmen Lezeth:I think they still do that at weddings that's the only place I've seen it Because they want every table at the reception to have a camera and not just use their phone. So they ask you to take pictures and then you give it back to the bride's cousin or whatever's happening, and they get them developed.
Rick Costa:And that reminds me of something else. I don't want to get off the mama thing, but that reminds me of something else. I don't want to get off the mama thing, but that reminds me of that post I sent you about the controversial guy that did the favor of taking pictures and they wouldn't feed him. Did you read that thing?
Carmen Lezeth:I sent you. Oh yeah, I did see that. I don't know If we're going to talk about it and we can, I don't mind at all.
Rick Costa:Yeah, I know.
Carmen Lezeth:We can talk about the mom stuff first. But yeah, no, no.
Rick Costa:So the video post was. It was like an Instagram or TikTok post and it was about a guy. A photographer took a bunch of pictures at a wedding and then he wanted a plate of food, a favor, and take the pictures, and he paid him for $250, which otherwise that is ridiculously cheap and so he took all the pictures and then he's starving here. Can I have some food too? And they said no.
Carmen Lezeth:So here's the problem I have with all of this. Number one is just, the comments went back and forth before I make my statement on it. So people were saying he was paid, he's a professional, he shouldn't expect to have food. That was the thing, right, like you're getting paid for a job, you're not there to eat, you have to do your job and I don't know starve to death or whatever. And other people were saying is it's just common courtesy, it's just you have someone come and work for you. And then I thought I read something where people were like they're not feeding all the crew that put up the tents, or you know. So I guess I don't know. Here's my thing. Why don't we hear your perspective?
Rick Costa:The thing that's different is that was his friend and he told his friend no, you can't eat. I'm like what. First of all, I'm doing you a favor, giving you a stupid cheap price, and you can't let me have some food for real. And then so one of the comments was like what if it was something super expensive? And they just had shoestring budget.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, it was not expensive. Here's the thing that would actually be worse to me. Why are you paying me only $250 if you, you know I spent so much more on you know what I mean? Like that would be weird.
Rick Costa:Yeah, but I feel like give the man some food. That's your friend, my God.
Carmen Lezeth:But even if it wasn't his friend, I just think there's a weird I've been saying this for a long time a weird idea of what manners are, what common sense is, what courtesy is To me. If somebody's hey, can I grab a plate, they shouldn't even be asked, he shouldn't even have to ask.
Rick Costa:Yeah, because I would have been even thinking about him like hey, are you hungry, You've been doing a lot of work, blah, blah, blah. I would have been like even thinking about him like hey, are you hungry, Like you've been doing a lot of work.
Carmen Lezeth:I would have asked before he had to ask, I would offer. I have never been to a wedding. I've never worked at a wedding, so I guess that's different. But I have never been to an event anywhere where there's food that I didn't feel like I could eat something. I don't know what professionals go through, but that's happy.
Rick Costa:We still didn't say the punchline of what happened.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, no, tell me.
Rick Costa:How he got petty. He deleted all the pictures. We forgot that part. He deleted them all. I'm like bro, what that's yikes. I understand you're mad, but ooh, that's somebody's one time in a lifetime memory.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, that you just deleted. Okay, but that's your friend and you just dissed me, probably embarrassed me. That's a friend, come on. Yeah, you know what I'm petty. When I need to be petty I am. I will admit it right now, especially when it's something stupid like this. That's just and I know it's mean. But maybe what he did was he just said he deleted them. That is probably like in the heat of a moment of an argument. Maybe I would have been like I just deleted them, I'm out and I would have left or whatever. But maybe he didn't and maybe in a few years he might give it back, who knows. But I have no problem with his reaction.
Rick Costa:Maybe in a few years he might give it back. Who knows? But I have no problem with his reaction. Yeah, yeah, if it wasn't a friend I would have been like but that's your friend, what are you doing? I know, still, you should have gave him food either way, but that's your friend. You can't give your friends some food, seriously. Somebody said why didn't he bring a lunch? Hey, Charlie, hey, charlie, the photographer deleted all the wedding pictures because they wouldn't give him food.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm okay with it, charlie, I'm going to be petty. So I don't know. I just think it's a weird situation all around. I don't understand why. First of all, I would say to him never, ever, do a favor for a friend. If you're going to do a favor for a friend, just say you know what I'm good, don't pay me. I'll just do this as a. You know what I mean. That's what I would do. I'm not going to do business with friends. Because that kind of thing happened. And who knows who said it. Was it the friend, or maybe the mother-in-law or the? I don't know? Who said to him he can't have food Right, it wasn't an Italian.
Carmen Lezeth:Or a Spanish one.
Rick Costa:Or a Portuguese one either.
Carmen Lezeth:My God, yeah, or a decent human being, one, clearly. So, rick, why don't you share a favorite moment with your mom? Or you don't have to if you don't want to, you don't want to no, I'm just trying to go back and think.
Rick Costa:One thing that we used to do as a family all the time was go to the beach a lot in the summertime and the weekends, and that was always fun. But my mom, she wasn't swimming, she like put her feet in the water and that's it. And my dad would try never, she never went swimming she didn't swim, no, no, and and it was. Oh my god, the food was insane.
Carmen Lezeth:I think the food makes everything. Do you remember High? Was it High? Look at Charlie. Can you do this, dude? Can you do this with your phone?
Charlie Mattera:What.
Carmen Lezeth:Can you do this with your phone? There you go, beautiful man, how you doing.
Charlie Mattera:Hey, what's up, guys, hey?
Carmen Lezeth:How are you? I'm good.
Rick Costa:You know your hand is covering the camera.
Carmen Lezeth:You got to hold your doobie with the other hand and hold the camera. I got this over here, I know but we can't see you there you go, oh, okay. Don't drop the doobie just got to do with your other hand the whole world could use a good fight.
Charlie Mattera:All the depressant right now so how was your wedding?
Carmen Lezeth:were you cheap?
Charlie Mattera:I told you remember, I told you, I told ryan, I came and I told him I said hey, I'm gonna get married, I want you to stand in for me. And he says yeah where we where we gonna get. I said we'll do it on the beach in Santa Monica, just me, you, nat and folks. And he looked at me and went what are you nuts? The guy's jogging around sweating all over the place, people throwing frisbees, dogs. We'll do it behind my house, right on the beach in Malibu, he says we'll invite everybody.
Charlie Mattera:You wouldn't believe the people that showed up at my wedding.
Carmen Lezeth:Now you've got to drop the tea. What the hell is that? I wouldn't believe it.
Charlie Mattera:No, it was insane. It was like actors, gangsters. It was like I looked up over the beach I was like holy shit, look who's here? Did he just get out? I'm looking, you're so bad. No, it was nice. It was like 100 people on the beach and they had this thing. What are they called? The hopa the thing?
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know what the thing is. What is that you?
Charlie Mattera:know the thing that you get married underneath.
Rick Costa:That was on the beach Like a canopy.
Charlie Mattera:Roses all over it, oh yeah.
Rick Costa:Canopy Roses all over it Some kind of archway dealio. Yeah, yeah.
Charlie Mattera:No, and it was really cool, and the dolphins showed up and they were jumping around. Yeah, I saw dolphins the other day actually that's when I realized that dolphins don't need to be trained to do those flippages and stuff. They do that.
Carmen Lezeth:All the time they're hanging out and playing. Okay. When did you get married? What month was it? Let's see, that was oh shit okay, never mind, we'll edit this out so your wife doesn't hear it.
Charlie Mattera:I forget what month it was, but I know it's 16 and a half years ago, yeah has it been that long? I went to Ryan's service recently. They had it at the DGA. I come walking in and everybody has it been that long. I went to Ryan's service recently. They had it at the DGA. Yeah, I come walking in and everybody sees me and they're like, oh shit, charlie's here.
Charlie Mattera:They're all ducking for the exits. They know I'm about to go and you never liked you. I was such a gentleman, I was so well behaved, but it's funny because everybody's gathered around me and Natalie and all.
Charlie Mattera:All of a sudden, a couple of the girls are like Natalie, you guys are still married, you haven't gotten rid of him yet. And my wife looks at them because that's an LA compliment. I'm sorry, that's a showbiz compliment. You haven't gotten rid of him yet, traded up. Natalie looks at them. He goes no, now we're together till the hubcaps fall off. Yeah, you found a good one. She's a tough lady.
Carmen Lezeth:It's been 16 years.
Charlie Mattera:Yeah, isn't that crazy 16 years.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, that's really weird. How old is your son again In.
Charlie Mattera:LA Like 50.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, no, that's a good one 25 or something. How old is the boy, as you call him, the?
Charlie Mattera:boy, he's 16 now, ryan. Yeah, that's right, that's right, he's like this he's like this big.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I don't want people to get confused, but his son's name is after his godfather, ryan O'Neal, so that's his son's name.
Charlie Mattera:I said don't know what it's going to be. If it's a boy it's ryan, and if it's a girl it's ryan. I guess I get the picture. Hey, for all his madness and all his weirdness, my boy, he was a good guy, he was original. I've never met anyone else like him. When he was at his best he could put me in tears, man, he could just make me crack up. He would do this outlandish stuff.
Carmen Lezeth:You're still mourning about him. You're still mourning.
Charlie Mattera:Yeah, it was a rough couple of years because I lost my cousin, who was like my big brother. I told you how I found him. I was watching television after I came back from college and all of a sudden there's an ad for Big Brothers of Queens. And there he is. Wow, cousin Charles. You know what? You didn't tell me that. I was like holy shit, this isn't a Cousin Charles. So I called the Big Brothers people. I said look, here's my telephone number. Tell them this is Cousin Charles. Tell them I said the freaking call. And then, within it was like an hour, all of a sudden he called me up and we were hanging out like it was old times. Wow, and he died suddenly Is he here.
Carmen Lezeth:now Is he in Los Angeles now, you met him.
Charlie Mattera:I think you saw him walking around. He was like 6'5" big and handsome.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh my God, that's right.
Charlie Mattera:Yeah, yeah, and all the ladies in the gym Charles is your cousin, Is he? I go? No, no, take him to dinner. I do remember him. I treat him like a manservant. I said he's game. A manservant, he's game, Don't worry about it.
Carmen Lezeth:It's so weird because I'm having so many flashbacks of things I haven't thought about in a long time.
Charlie Mattera:He was one of the funniest people. He was always with me. He was with me when I used to get in trouble?
Carmen Lezeth:Why are you saying was what happened?
Charlie Mattera:No, he passed away this past year.
Carmen Lezeth:That's right. You were sick, that's right.
Charlie Mattera:My dad croaked and that was just. I never got to get right with him. I never saw the guy for 40 years. But I never saw the guy for 40 years. But we started talking on the phone again. Hey, what am I going to do? Hey, charles, you want a clock ball? You want a candy bar? I'm going to go get some smokes. Anybody want a candy bar or something?
Carmen Lezeth:You guys didn't, you couldn't talk, and that was it. Yeah.
Charlie Mattera:It was still uncomfortable.
Carmen Lezeth:It was still uncomfortable. Oh, I was 12, or?
Charlie Mattera:13. Yeah, I'm coming. I'll be there next week. You're sitting in the window as a little kid. You got your mom over your shoulder, what do? You love him so much for I'm the one that stayed. Love me. That's fucking insane yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, you did talk a lot about some stuff, but I didn't put it all in the podcast.
Charlie Mattera:We're smashing it in here, some kind of way.
Carmen Lezeth:No, I'm glad I don't always put in.
Charlie Mattera:Let's get back to the guy who wouldn't give up the pictures because he couldn't get no chow at the wedding. Go ahead, maybe.
Rick Costa:He said he deleted them.
Charlie Mattera:he says supposedly oh, that's just awful. You know what I'm a big fan of. I like what Michelle Obama said you go low, I go high. You want to treat me like a fucking hump because you got no class. It says more about them than it says about the guy. That's true. What he, what he should have done was look here's your fucking pictures and just split I you know what.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm okay with his reaction. That was his friend and I don't think he actually deleted the pictures.
Charlie Mattera:He might have just said it and walked away, I think just send the whole family in horror to think that all of you for what? For the month or half he's gonna go sulk. I'm just like okay, charlie, be a man his friend.
Carmen Lezeth:His friend wouldn't give him a plate of fucking food.
Charlie Mattera:No, I get it. I get it. But that would have been the moment I went. What you don't want me chowing with the fucking the swells with the guests. I would have pulled out the disc, I would have stuck it in the fucking potato salad and I would have said smell you later. Or that high class wedding. They would have had the chicken I would have stuffed it in. I would have split. I would have you know go find it in the cocktail sauce.
Carmen Lezeth:You know what I'm okay with. I'm okay.
Charlie Mattera:You gotta be old time.
Carmen Lezeth:No, but Charlie, you're focusing on the wrong thing. His friend, look, if you did that to me, okay, let's say I'm doing something for you, I'm shooting pictures. I don't shoot pictures at all.
Charlie Mattera:Let's say I'm doing something for you, yeah, but I would never do that.
Carmen Lezeth:I know you wouldn't, but if you're friends I would never think you wouldn't right.
Charlie Mattera:I give you my plate here.
Carmen Lezeth:That's what I'm trying to say. So that's what he thought, too we're friends, now get this.
Charlie Mattera:You brought this up. I just remembered something. I was shooting Gentleman Bandit in Santa Monica. The guy who owned the bank gave us the bank to shoot him. He came over to me. He was like Charlie, when did anybody ever say to you here's the keys to the?
Carmen Lezeth:bank To the bank.
Charlie Mattera:We're having dinner at the dinner break and all of a sudden I hear that there's a problem. There's these homeless guys that buy craft service and blah, blah, blah. And I went what the fuck, what's going on? And it was my birthday that day. So I walked back to them and I go what the fuck's going on? And they go oh, these homeless guys, man, they think we're going to feed them. And I said fucking, feed them. I said life sucks. I said we're in their fucking house and they're nice enough to leave us be. I said hey, guys, what do you want? And I had a plate of my own and Ryan was right there and Leslie Stephenson was over there. Ed Lauder was around. He was passed away. God rest his soul. My producers are there. My producer's brother, he's screaming and yelling. I said dude, calm the fuck down. You're a millionaire. The guy has something to eat, man. I gave him my plan. I said here, I don't need to eat tonight.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't like working on a full stomach. Anyhow, there's also a whole crew of food there.
Charlie Mattera:It's not like there's not enough, but please, they're gonna throw half of it away.
Carmen Lezeth:Right, right, that's what I'm saying and people get, so all like pearls clutching, whatever I'm just saying your food and I'll tell you where to put it. I'm just going back to the initial conversation okay I'm friends with you, I am doing something for you for less than my normal amount of money because you and I are friends, which is basically nothing.
Carmen Lezeth:Here's what I'm saying. And then I go to grab a plate. Wherever we are, you guys are having dinner. I ask if I could have some food or whatever it is, and you say, no, carmen, we can't do that for you.
Charlie Mattera:Oh, that's right out of wedding crashes or some shit.
Carmen Lezeth:Exactly.
Charlie Mattera:It's really hysterical.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm throwing it down and walking out the house.
Charlie Mattera:I can see the woman off to the side going. We're not feeding the help. With the cigarette with the giant ash on it with all the jewels. Yeah exactly, this is a charity deal. Yeah For sure. Tell that person. Whoever somebody in the vicinity Came up with that bullshit idea Of not letting homeboy get a plate, I don't know for whatever weird Freak show.
Carmen Lezeth:I think it wasn't the friend.
Charlie Mattera:It's not the friend he's covering for somebody, a mother-in-law or somebody. I would go with whoever's paying for the child For the wedding. That's who I would go with. Who's?
Carmen Lezeth:he Exactly. Okay wait, you just dropped your phone. What happened, dude Charlie?
Charlie Mattera:you dropped the phone. I'm still here. Where is it? Did I do it right? I don't think so.
Carmen Lezeth:Wow, we could have planned this. Wait, what's wrong? Did you fall?
Rick Costa:We lost the video of Charlie, by the way. Podcaster people.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, his video is out.
Charlie Mattera:But you can still hear me, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:But it's all black.
Charlie Mattera:I don't know what I'm looking for here. Come on, this is like some newfangled BS. I'm just a country. Come on, this is like some newfangled BS. I'm just a country bumpkin.
Carmen Lezeth:Right, you could also log off and come back up, but it's okay because we're going to wrap up soon anyway. Why don't you?
Charlie Mattera:guys wrap up and talk about some niceness, don't?
Carmen Lezeth:jump off. I want to see your face again.
Charlie Mattera:I don't know how to do it. I don't know what I'm doing here. Wait, that's oh, he's gone, he's gone.
Carmen Lezeth:He just logged off by accident. Maybe he'll come back on. Charlie, we love you. He's so funny. He could just talk and make you laugh and whatever, and you would just be engaged the whole time and none of us have to talk. Yeah, he's such a fucking storyteller.
Rick Costa:sorry everyone with your little ears might hurt.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh my god, I swore I just I could listen to him forever, like he's so funny to me and he's such a good storyteller. Yeah, I'll text him if he doesn't come back on and just make sure he's fine but it sounded like he dropped the phone yeah, yeah, because it sounded a little bit far away all of a sudden.
Carmen Lezeth:So I was like oh, okay, but I was asking you before that happened, like who was it that was talking in the video? Was it the actual friend who asked him to do the shoot? I wish I could remember now yeah, I know what charlie's saying, but it's a bad it was just a picture.
Rick Costa:It was just a picture.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, right here oh, it was a picture, and then somebody was doing a.
Rick Costa:Oh, it wasn't a video, it was a article or something hungry photographer deletes all photos and leaves after being denied food at wedding wow, that okay.
Carmen Lezeth:For some reason I thought it was a video on tiktok, but it was a story. It was.
Rick Costa:Yeah, I don't know I'm okay with what the guy did one person and I guess in brazil they were like in my country that's unheard of. You would never do such a thing to somebody whatever I would totally be.
Carmen Lezeth:It's not about the situation, it's about you're supposedly my friend. That's that's where I would be like, oh, done out, you know mean, okay, you still didn't share.
Rick Costa:I said we're going to the beach with my mom. It was fun. We would cook out there. My dad liked to go search for clams and crabs even little baby ones. He loves seafood. I was not a huge fan, but he loved doing that.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm allergic.
Rick Costa:in case anyone doesn't know, In case you ever go out to dinner no seafood place, no seafood, unless you want to see me have a Epilepsy.
Carmen Lezeth:I do have my EpiPen always and notifications, but anyway, so cool. I don't remember going to the beach as a kid. I'm sure we did, but I don't really remember it bums me out or whatever. Okay, did you hear about the Transformer movie Thingamajiggy? No, you haven't heard the unbelievable praise of the new Transformer movie that is animated and starring Chris Hemsworth, scarlett Johansson, jon Hamm, lawrence Fishburne. Are you really serious?
Rick Costa:you haven't heard of it.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, no, I thought, because it was animated you and Tony and all of you boys would be and it got great reviews. It premiered. I don't think it's out yet. I think it's coming out in July for some reason.
Rick Costa:I'm really surprised. No, I didn't hear about that.
Charlie Mattera:No the only thing that I heard.
Rick Costa:You don't follow my beautiful man. That's all I don't know. If I do, no, I think I do, because I saw a picture of him. He was with his family and there was like a display with a Thor's hammer at it and he joked and said I could have called that to me if I wanted to.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, so clearly you do not pay attention to his stream every single day. Because if you're a true fan of the beautiful Mr Chris Hemsworth Not that I'm saying I am, no, clearly I am but yeah, so I didn't even know they were doing this, but it's animation, it's not my thing, but everyone is giving it great reviews and stuff. So aren't you a Transformer person?
Rick Costa:I liked it, but I wasn't a huge fan. I think Tony probably was more than I was.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, it'll be interesting if we talk to Tony again. I don't mean to do it If I said if Tony no, so that's totally cool.
Rick Costa:Yeah, Optimus Prime. Whoever that actor is, he has like that amazing voice. Sounds so cool.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, but I think I don't know what, because I don't really care about Transformers at all Transformers at all. I love Chris Hemsworth and Scarlett Johansson and Lawrence Fishburne for sure. I could take or leave Jon Hamm on any day. I know people are going to freak out about that, but I don't really care. So I don't know what part Chris Hemsworth and Scarlett Johansson are playing or what they're doing, but we'll see if Tony knows anything. I thought I would just mention that. But yeah, other than that, you got anything you want to talk about, because I hit all my stuff. Oh, I do have something else, but go ahead, I do have one other thing.
Rick Costa:This, unfortunately, is not a good thing, but a guy that used to watch a lot of his videos YouTube he had three million followers one billion views on his. Like the car accident, his car rolled and rolled. Because of the injuries, he ended up dying and I was like I just watched this dude three days ago.
Carmen Lezeth:Why don't you tell people what his name is?
Rick Costa:So he was known as Comicstorian, but his real name was Ben Potter. In tons of videos he would retell the comic book stories, but not just. He would animate it, do different voices and everything and be all animated and it was fun to listen to him and he's gone Like what it was in 40, only 40 years old.
Carmen Lezeth:So it's like such it was shocked me, like right before bed is when I heard it I was like I'm gonna go to sleep now I didn't know who he was, but because I follow a lot of youtubers, when I especially when I worked on a different podcast as a producer, we had to know all the top people, whatever I thought that was sad. But he was in a car accident, so it's not even like he was sick or yeah, it was a true accident. And I don't even want to say may he rest in peace, cause I never even followed him that much, you know what I mean Like I just did it, but I'm like that's just wrong and that's nothing to do with his billions of. I don't even care about all that, but it's just he was providing a cool thing for people and I'm I don't know if he was a good person or not.
Rick Costa:I'm like seemed like he had a wife that adored people.
Carmen Lezeth:I would prefer sorry to be in a car accident and yeah, you know what I'm saying yeah, his best friend who also does the same thing.
Rick Costa:I'd actually watch this other guy a lot more because I don't know he's got this really cool sounding voice. But he did a video and I said comics explained is the name of the channel. Now his actual name is escaping me.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, that's cool.
Rick Costa:But he did a video and I'm like, oh, I'm going to need tissues. And yeah, I was. He was crying, I was crying. I was like, oh man, this is so sad.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm just okay promoting people that. That's why I asked yeah. So he did a video about his friend.
Rick Costa:Yeah and yeah, and he said they started about the same time and their birthdays were within a few days of each other. Something like that. So he was like it was like we were meant to be friends and, yeah, it was tough yeah that's a downer, rick.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know how to make that joyful, but thank you for sharing. No, I'm just kidding.
Rick Costa:Joyful part is live life today to the fullest, because you never know.
Carmen Lezeth:Or just live life to the fullest. Because what's the other choice?
Rick Costa:I'm just saying People don't live forever. You don't know that?
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I know, and again, I'm not arguing with you, I'm just saying this is what I mean by living in a place of joy or from a place of joy. It's like that saying is great, but it comes from a place of fear. Oh, I don't want to die, so I better live in joy. It is counterintuitive in a way. My thing is do it because it's a better way to live.
Rick Costa:Oh, yeah, a hundred percent.
Carmen Lezeth:And you have joy within you. It's not something you have to find, you just got to train yourself to use it. And I always say that happiness is external. Right, and I didn't come up with that, I don't know who did, but I grabbed onto it and I get a piece of chocolate cake and I'm extremely happy when I eat it because I love chocolate cake. I get a bonus at work. I'm happy because I got acknowledged for the work I do. Happiness is an external thing, right. Happiness is something that, when it happens, it's because oh my God, I saw a rainbow. That's external.
Carmen Lezeth:But, joy is within you, and it's something you've got to figure out how. In whatever circumstance you're in, you got to find that little piece of light, silver lining, whatever you want to call it hope and learn to live from there so that, no matter what happens to you, you can find your way through it. And that's what I did growing up, not because I'm smarter or better than anyone else, it's just. It was something that I had to figure out because of survival. And then you hone it.
Rick Costa:Yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:And what's that noise?
Rick Costa:Motorcycle somewhere.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh my God, Are our speakers and mics that deep?
Rick Costa:That's a good microphone, damn. That's like why not live in joy? Why not?
Carmen Lezeth:But that's what I just said. I think it's hard because people enjoy misery and accidents and yuckiness more, and I don't know why. That's a natural thing that all humans do. If there's an accident on the street, everybody slows down. No one's jumping out to help or whatever, but everyone's oh my, what's happening. They'll stop and now what I think is worse stop and take pictures or video. Now I know I understand that a lot of those videos have helped clarify some issues, especially when it comes to bad things happening, and there's a weirdness that we are fascinated by negativity, and I told you this before.
Carmen Lezeth:I get more views when I'm screaming and yelling at someone and this is for everyone, by the way. Every person is doing a podcast or doing a YouTube video, whatever. You get more views when there's all this conflict and anger and negativity. But it's really hard to get views if you're not doing either something niche and like I'm teaching you how to I was gonna say weed, but I don't know what that is or like doing something that's really Ohits is what I meant. There's so many youtube channels on how to knit and whatever. So you get followers if there's a niche. You get followers if there's tragedy or somebody's beating up somebody else or somebody's yelling at somebody else, but just having a channel that's about joy and fun. And I'm not just talking about this channel, talking about even there was a news show one time that was trying to just be like oh, this is only news about good stuff. The reason why we don't know it is because it's off the air. It got off the air like within a second.
Rick Costa:I used to hear remember when we used to have newspapers. They're probably still out there somewhere.
Carmen Lezeth:When they used to put them on your front door.
Rick Costa:Exactly somewhere, but put them on your front door. Exactly. And somebody would say we make a newspaper which us just all good news, cause I said cause it'll never survive.
Carmen Lezeth:And I'm sure people have tried it and it hasn't. It didn't survive and that's why we don't have it. And I don't know what that's about. I don't think that's a flaw in who we are as humans, but there's got to be. I'm sure there's some sociological experiment or whatever that they've done to figure out why that is, cause it seems to be everyone. But I think all that negativity ends up being in our. We absorb it. This is just my theory. That's why I don't watch horror films. I don't like.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm very careful what I digest and people I'm around like toxicity does not work for me because I think all of that we absorb it and then it makes it harder for us to find that little light of joy because it's all piled in with our own crap, with our own things that we're dealing with. I had a client the other day this week it was this week who said to me how come you don't know that? How come you don't know that I'm like because off the top of my head I don't care how much your mortgage is. You know what I mean I'm like I will look it up for you and let you know, but I don't have that information Now. If you want to ask me what my payment is, I can tell you, because it's my payment. You know what?
Rick Costa:I mean Like I'm going to walk around and have everybody's mortgage.
Carmen Lezeth:That's my job to start with. It's not. But how am I going to know that?
Rick Costa:My brain's always been that way where if I don't really need that information, it just discards it and I forget it. I just don't need it. Why am I going to cram all this stuff? No for what. I don't need to know that. I already got enough issues with regular stuff. I got to remember, let alone all and all this other stuff, Nah.
Carmen Lezeth:And it's not necessary, you can look it up, because my question is if it's such an emergency, how come you don't motherfucking know your own mortgage that you pay everyone? You know what I mean? It's just a weird thing, but that's also taking in like toxicity. Like I'm not going to get upset that he asked that and I told him I don't got it. I will get it to you in a couple of hours. But it's that weird thing where people just pile on and you're right, you got to just take it in and let it out, cause that also adds to the negativity of who we are.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm just glad I've learned how to do that at a young age, cause I don't know what I'd be. I don't know what I would be like now if I hadn't been able to be the person I was growing up. I wish things were different, but not the growth I had because of it. Does that make sense?
Rick Costa:Yeah, they always say we are a product of what we've been through. That's true. It molds us and makes us who we are today. If things were different, we'd be a different person, literally.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, going back to our moms and stuff, I was thinking about this not to bring it down, but it's actually. I was trying to find a way to move through it. It's when I asked you about the birthday thing, when I was freaking out, I thought about this. I'm like I wonder what I would be like if my mother had lived. You know what I mean. And I don't think I'd be a better person. I don't think I'd be a better person. I don't think I'd be a worse person, but the story would be different. That's what I think.
Rick Costa:Or another monkey wrench.
Carmen Lezeth:What if your dad was in the picture? I don't think I'd be a better person. I think if, after my mom died and after a few years of getting back on track, I found out who my father was, that might've been a more horrible thing, cause I don't think I could have ever dealt with that very well. I wasn't mature enough. You know what I mean. I don't think I still am, actually to tell you the truth, but I still think, or I would hope to think, I'd still be the same person, but you don't know.
Rick Costa:Yeah, the core of you is you are who you are.
Carmen Lezeth:Environment changes things yeah.
Rick Costa:They say by the age of three.
Carmen Lezeth:Your personality's set already by age at least three so if you're a bitch today, you've been a bitch since you were three, okay exactly I don't know, I know nothing of these things. I and I wonder is that really true? Who's they like scientists?
Rick Costa:I've heard many people. Is that really true? Who's they Like scientists?
Carmen Lezeth:I've heard many people say that Really yeah, but can you change?
Rick Costa:Would an environment have a lot to do with that If you consciously try to, yeah, and that's why I've always said all right parenting, if you just let everything go, everything go, let them do whatever they want, just go crazy. And then when they're a little bit older, then you said, oh, now I'm going to start to discipline, it's too late. You got to start from the beginning. Yeah, but they're just babies. I ain't saying to kill the child, but you got to show them I'm the boss and you are the child.
Carmen Lezeth:That's because a lot of parents today I've been saying this for a long time they want to be friends, because whatever trauma they went through with their parents, they want to change it somehow. And it's from a good place, it's not from a bad place. But people need structure. I know people hate to say that no, no, I'm freestyling. But when you were growing up you needed some structure to make wiser decisions. You can see animals in the wild don't do that either. There is structure A baby elephant and a mama elephant.
Rick Costa:There's a gospel singer, vicki Winans, pretty famous in the gospel world, and she said all these parents make me sick. I'm just going to talk to them. I'm just going to talk to them. She goes yeah, you're going to be talking to them through a jail cell, but you're going to be doing it.
Carmen Lezeth:Is that what she said? It's the linens, right, they are. That's true, though, but you'll get. I'm not questioning parenting because I don't want to hear anyone tell me you're not a parent, so you don't know. You know what. Here's the thing I am not a parent, so I do know, because I can be objective, because I was a kid once, and I still remember what it's like to be a kid, and I keep telling some who are parents I think a protective gene comes out that needs to come out when you become a parent and you forget what it's like to be 10 and you forget what it's like to be five. I don't have that protective thing. I don't.
Rick Costa:Because I remember before I had a kid and I'm like I'm so empathetic, I could understand, blah, blah, blah, I get it, I get it, I get it. Then, when you have the kid and everybody always tells you before, you don't get until you have a kid, no, I understand, I could get it, I get it. Nah, you really don't. When you have the kid, it changes. Then you really do. They're right. Then you will understand it's just something changes.
Carmen Lezeth:Well, I'm not trying to say I understand from the point of view of a parent. I would never claim that. But when I look at parenting, I can tell which person sucks as a parent and which one, and let me tell you, I always bring this up too. It's also with pet parents, people who have dogs. I have this thing. It's the same thing. I can tell who sucks as a parent and who does not. Easily I can see it as clear as day from the point of view of a non-parent.
Carmen Lezeth:I was just talking to my friend Cindy about this. We went on a walk on Saturday and she's actually a veterinarian and we were talking about this and she's no, you're not wrong, and she has tons of pets. And it's this weird thing where people are not, they're more worried about how they're handling or coping or dealing with whatever issue they're dealing with and generally taking it out on the kid. You know what I mean. Like the overreaction to parents from kids doing certain things is and pets doing certain is ridiculous, and then the lack of acknowledgement of what some kids are doing is the other side of the coin. I'm like what is wrong with you? It's like what Ms Winan said right, Wait, your kid just said F you to you and you ain't going.
Carmen Lezeth:That's the worst thing when I see kids at their parents. See how mad I get just saying that Not today I'm just saying a five-year-old is not going to disrespect me or a parent. A 10-year-old is not going to be disrespectful to their parent. A 15-year-old is not going to be disrespectful to their parent. I can go on and on, but when a parent sits there and takes it, okay.
Rick Costa:I don't even get that.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't even get that Because they remember what it was like. Okay. So this is my perspective when you're a little kid growing up the way I did growing up, and I was safe from this, but I watched it. I was safe from it because my mother wasn't around right, which is not a good thing, but you would see kids try to talk back or try to whatever and I'm not an advocate for this but they would either be beaten with a belt right, which I am not an advocate of that.
Carmen Lezeth:I was never hit as a kid or punished to the nth degree like a month, and you cannot see your friends or like it would be. There would be no. Let's have a conversation about what just happened. When you spoke to me in that tone, when you swore at me, how did that make you feel, little billy? Let me tell you how it made me feel like, okay, mom, I'm gonna just do it again tomorrow yeah, we're just gonna have a conversation about it when I first heard the concept of time out, I was like what the heck is that?
Rick Costa:some white people thing? What is that time out? What is that? No, I'm serious, because my father you just look at him, weird that's a problem. Bam, you got him swacked. Ooh, yeah, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:I think in my neighborhood there was people who got hit a lot and, anyways, I think I was traumatized by knowing so many people who did get hit. Any last words before we end for the week? Wait, let me just tell you. I now announce that I'm going to go where, we're going to close up and we get more followers. People like to wait. Maybe it's because they like to wait an hour or something, or they just come home or something.
Rick Costa:I don't know what the deal is. As long as they don't forget to like, share and subscribe.
Carmen Lezeth:Excuse me, it's so sneaky. I love it.
Rick Costa:I love it, wait did you get the hat yet don't say what the hat is I'm talking about no, it says friday.
Carmen Lezeth:Wow, that's pretty bad too. It takes a long time yeah, I wonder why. I don't know it's okay, we'll figure it out, but I'm hoping by july stay tuned to find out what that means stay tuned figure out what we're talking about.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, everyone, thank you so much. It was so lovely to have you all here today. It was fun to have Charlie. Thank you so much. I'm going to text you in a minute to make sure you're okay. I'm such a good friend. He could be like on the ground sidewalk and waiting. You know what I mean, melanie. I'm now trying to say goodbye to all of our compagnie.
Rick Costa:That's a song. Is that a song? It sounds like a song, I don't know she's so sweet. I can't think of what it is.
Carmen Lezeth:Because we're not good enough, we don't know. But yes, I'm going to say goodbye. Thank you everyone. Remember to like, share and subscribe or hate us. It's great too, yeah, but remember, it's all about the joy and we'll see you next week. Bye everyone, see ya. Thanks for stopping by. All About the Joy. Be better and stay beautiful folks. Have a sweet day.