All About The Joy
All About The Joy is a weekly hang-out with friends in the neighborhood! We share insight, advice, funny-isms and we choose to always try and find the positive, the silver lining, the "light" in all of it. AATJ comes from the simple concept that at the end of the day we all want to have more JOY than not. So, this is a cool place to unwind, have a laugh and share some time with friends!
All About The Joy
Navigating Office Friendships, Work Boundaries and Leadership Lessons
Is your work-life balance teetering on the edge? This episode of the All About the Joy podcast uncovers the art of maintaining professional boundaries while fostering genuine connections.
Ever wondered how to keep your work relationships from going sour? We dive into the nitty-gritty of work friendships and the importance of clear boundaries. Hear personal stories about navigating workplace dynamics, from Cynthia’s selective trust issues to Rick’s lessons from his McDonald’s days. We also tackle the tough topics we avoid at work and stress the significance of leaving work issues at the office to preserve your mental well-being.
Leadership and negotiation take center stage as we break down effective management practices and the art of negotiating job offers. Discover how to prevent financial mishaps and support your team through their mistakes. We finish with a captivating discussion on the world of acting and the powerful role of music in horror films, featuring personal anecdotes and insights that will keep you engaged until the very end. Tune in for laughs, lessons, and always, a dose of joy!
Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. You can also support us by shopping at our STORE - We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.
Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
Hi everyone, welcome to All About the Joy. Hey Rick, how are you Good? How are you Good? Is everything okay, yep just rushing. Let me drink from my coffee cup.
Rick Costa:Yeah, I think I might too.
Carmen Lezeth:Look it, he's got the really cool one, though Yours says it really is All About the Joy. My design, my design, thank you, thank you, thank you. I can't believe you bought that, thank you so much.
Rick Costa:Oh my.
Carmen Lezeth:God, you're really going to keep all about that. Every time you do this show, you're going to put the cushion up there.
Rick Costa:Why not?
Carmen Lezeth:I love you for that.
Rick Costa:I love this for us.
Carmen Lezeth:I love this for us. People bought stuff. Now I know, cynthia, oh cool, you know, cynthia, did you just buy one thing or did you buy a lot of stuff? Because somebody bought really, we got quite a few orders, so people bought some stuff. Hey, melanie, how are you? Hey, I was, I'm shook, I'm a little bit shook by it. Yeah, Nice t-shirt. Yeah, now we all have uniforms we must wear.
Rick Costa:Yeah, I was like one more time, like one more time, I'm gonna wear this again.
Carmen Lezeth:I was like one more time, at least one more time. Yeah, I don't know if we need to wear it every week. I like the cushion and I'm like cup or something. You know, we can always let people know where they can get swag at all about the joycom which you can see at the bottom ticker, because I still don't know how to turn that off, isn't the mug he has? Cool? Yeah, it really is all about the joy. It's a good mug. That one's a good one. Yeah, it's really cool. You know what, melanie, I think, because you're a regular person that comes on this show, I think I'd like to buy you that mug. I'm going to buy Melanie a mug. I will do that for you. Yeah, she's the MVP. I'm going to do that for you, girl. So I will direct message you and we'll hook that up.
Rick Costa:I'm surprised for being the first commenter.
Carmen Lezeth:But she's always on, she's a loyal fan and I appreciate her and I think that's the least we can do. You know what I mean. So, speaking of swag again, allaboutthejoycom you can go check that out. You'll see the store there. I want to show our friend who did the candle. You're going to be proud of me, rick, I actually have this all set up. So I'm going to show Thor. Remember the candle I was talking about last week? I think I sent you and Cynthia both, so you would know what it smells like. He did a whole presentation on it, so I'd like to share that with everyone. So this is Thor Bradley, the. What is the name of the? Oh, I think he says it, so let's just listen to him for a second. Here it goes.
Thor Bradley, TikTok Creator:The candle is all the way back Now. Right now you can get on a discount in the TikTok shop. But more importantly is the question I forgot to answer last time, and that is what does it smell like? It smells like a guy who puts his grocery cart away. It smells like someone who takes their boots off at the door. It smells like asking for directions. It smells like knowing how to use the phrase, I don't know. It smells like taking an ice bath and not posting about it on social media, and if you really want to, you can spray it all over your sheets. Now I cannot get out of here without an innuendo, Even if I fucking try.
Carmen Lezeth:Come on, he's funny. Could you guys hear it okay?
Rick Costa:Yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:I did the intro, I did a TikTok video. I'm impressed with myself.
Rick Costa:Yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:These are the things that matter to me, Cynthia how was your week so far.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Let's see it was a short week, even though it felt long. We had Monday off. It's so weird how short weeks feel longer. But it was an interesting week. A lot of gossiping going around in the office, oh, you gotta love that though, right Uh yes, and no, is that water?
Carmen Lezeth:cooler or bad stuff?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:It's a little bit of both, but it was just. It was interesting and it's just yeah.
Rick Costa:So inter-office gossip or outside office Inter-office? Why is Carmen shook?
Carmen Lezeth:I'm gasping because excuse me for one moment All my notes that I wrote in my thing disappeared. I don't know why.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I was so proud of myself.
Carmen Lezeth:So I did all my notes today. So you could just give me one moment. I'm just going to go look at the email.
Carmen Lezeth:I know they have this new thing where you can have your notes, and I think I told you guys about it last week and I put all my notes in there and now they're gone, cause I think I was going in and out. I was trying to do the intro to impress Rick, who didn't even see it. Whatever, you should be able to save it, but I guess you can't. All right, no, I don't. A lot of gossiping going on, I hear you.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Or just you start to realize who is petty and who is in, and who you can trust and who you can't. I love petty I'm the one that always observes and just tests the waters first, before I say anything to anybody.
Rick Costa:That's smart.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, how long were?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:you at your other place.
Carmen Lezeth:Eight and a half, almost nine years yeah, I still can't imagine you being part of the gossip pool.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Yeah, no.
Carmen Lezeth:Rick, how was your week?
Rick Costa:We had a fire marshal come today actually.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, we love firemen, but go ahead Was he cute, was he hot?
Rick Costa:You're asking me.
Carmen Lezeth:You could be a man who believes, just like Thor. You could be comfortable with another man being handsome.
Rick Costa:I guess, anyway. So I've been anticipating this thing and I'm like, okay, I hope we did everything we're supposed to, blah, blah, blah. And one of the things we were supposed to do was the last time he came. You have to have sprinklers over the furnaces in the basement, first of all, because this is a three-family house. That's why they have to come 'm like, but nobody even lives upstairs, so they're like you're gonna have to talk to the zoning commission, blah blah, and see if they could change. I'm like, I wish they would, because I ain't trying to pay all this money for no reason. This is stupid, because it's 25 per unit, 75. So anyway, sprinklers got put in literally yesterday. Okay, wow. And now I was praying lord, please don't let it be more than 500. But you heard my prayer because it was like 483 or something like that. I was like, why didn't I pray for 300? But anyway, so I got that done.
Carmen Lezeth:You have to be specific, when you pray, you really do.
Rick Costa:It's not even a joke. And of course I made sure all the smoke.
Carmen Lezeth:Hey Mario, hey Mario he says hi guys, sorry that I've been mia. Lots of life stuff been happening. I love you. We back on soon. No problem, baby, I know how you is, I love you, no matter what. We'll talk soon. Until all my said hi go ahead.
Rick Costa:So I had to make sure all the smoke detectors are working. So I had to go upstairs make sure all those are working. Blah, blah, blah and so, anyway, long story short, we did everything good. He only found like a, like a two little teeny minor things, which is not even a big deal. And so I go who do I make the checkouts? You guys take checks. He goes yeah, we still antiquated, we still taking checks. So I'm like you don't take credit cards. Okay, thank God the plumber took credit cards, it's the fire marshal.
Carmen Lezeth:there they can be whatever they need to be.
Rick Costa:Okay, sure, and so I gave him the check and we're talking, whatever, and I'm telling him about my mom with dementia and he goes oh, my mom had dementia too, and I had siblings. Though, we all helped together, all of us, and I was like this is just me, I got to do everything myself, and I think he felt so bad for me. He goes you know what? Here, take this, this check, hold on to it. I'm gonna talk to my boss and see if he can wave this for you shut up.
Rick Costa:I was like, are you serious? He goes, yeah, I said, why don't you just keep it? And then if he says, no, rip it up because no, just take it and I'll see what I could do, I was like, dude, that would be awesome if you could do, that'd be really awesome okay, so that was a very specific prayer, I guess wow. So yeah, I was pretty happy about that.
Carmen Lezeth:So you saved $500?.
Rick Costa:No, $500 was for the sprinklers.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh the $75.
Rick Costa:$75 was $25 per unit to inspect them.
Carmen Lezeth:But you know what you could spend that $75 on right.
Rick Costa:More merch.
Carmen Lezeth:Over at allaboutthejoycom.
Rick Costa:Which is scrolling at the bottom of the screen.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't even want to. I just put my notes back up. I don't even want to try to mess with that. It's so funny. No, I'm just kidding Rick, can you see?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Did you just do that on purpose, you dork? I totally did.
Carmen Lezeth:It's going to have to be like this thing Whenever we sell merch. Now you're going to have to do that.
Rick Costa:Send us a video of you drinking slurping from your cup, and the best one will win a prize.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Oh, my god, that was so good.
Carmen Lezeth:You're quitting today.
Rick Costa:I'm happy because I saved some money.
Carmen Lezeth:No, that's so good. I was telling Cynthia I was shook that people actually bought stuff last week. I'm like, wow, that's so cool. You know what I mean. She bought stuff too, but she shouldn't have. If you're on the show, I think I can buy you something. We'll talk about it later, whatever, whatever. Anyways, okay, great.
Carmen Lezeth:One of the things I wanted to talk about, going back to what Cynthia was talking about, wasn't really about gossip in my office, but one of my clients kept pressing me to talk about politics. So we have this weekly meeting and it's me and this other person and him and everybody was in the office, so it's not like a closed door meeting or anything, so people can hear you. It's a big warehouse production company and anyways, we're sitting there talking. He's Carmen, I just want to ask you some questions about these two. And he was saying derogatory things about these two political candidates and I was like I don't talk to my clients about politics and I thought that would be the end of it. He followed me back to my office. He kept asking me and finally I had to be abrupt about it and I was like I need you to respect this boundary, like I had to raise my voice. You know what I mean and it's not like anyone wouldn't know where I lean.
Carmen Lezeth:I'm keeping it secret but I try to keep myself very professional at work. Don't get me wrong. I'm not mean or anything, but I'm not friends with people at work. I'm not friends with anybody at work at any client that I work with. None of them, and several of them in the past. Like one of my other, I was always like, oh, just come out with us for a drink. No, I will not. Like I've played this game before. So not Like I've played this game before.
Carmen Lezeth:So it started me thinking about if you guys have any experiences at all with this kind of thing and have you ever dealt with it. Are there certain things you don't talk about with people at work? Are you friends with people at work? Do you guys go out after work and hang out? I'm just curious of what that dynamic might be in your different kind of work history lives. It doesn't have to be right now, because I know circumstances are very different. Cynthia, it's new rick. You really do work from home, but just in your whole work life in general it doesn't matter ladies like right now I I don't have any friends at work.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I I've only been there for two months now, but my previous job, obviously, with me being there for so long. You do make friends and so there are about four girls that I'm really close with and we'll go out to dinner or have drinks every once in a while and stuff like that. But I wouldn't do that with just anybody. I really don't. Like I told you, I observe people before I even let them in to my little circle.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:It's so funny because the other day me and Juan, my husband, were talking and even he said and I thought it was very funny how he saw this and I didn't think he did but he's like you are so closed off from everybody, he's yeah, he's you don't let anybody in. He's. You always say you don't have friends. He's, but you have some very close friends and those you can count with one hand. He's, but you really have, I guess, kind of trust issues. He's you really don't let people into your personal life, kind of trust issues. He's you really don't let people into your personal life. And I thought that was funny that he even saw that, because I thought it's me, I was, I'm open with people I'm comfortable with.
Carmen Lezeth:but I don't know. It's interesting that he said you were closed. I don't think you're closed off, I think you're protective, I think words matter so you wouldn't just let anyone that you just met. I mean, I agree with him, but I think his words were his word you said yeah, it's probably off.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah Is wrong Because you're the last person I would think is closed off on the planet. Even though you might not be friends with somebody, if somebody needed something you would sense it and help them. So closed off would be somebody who's not even like just paying attention, Just not even. It's a block. But yeah, Interesting I would. Okay, I'm not going to overanalyze in my therapy, you know, Dr Carmen therapist, I never, ever talk about politics at work or religion.
Carmen Lezeth:I've never heard you talk about politics with me or religion, so I don't even think it's a topic with you. Now. You know who I speak to about religion and politics all the time, andrea. So I have certain friends that we do certain things together, and Alden, billy and Andrea are the people. It's politics and social issues, but really politics all the time. Those are my friends, mia and I. We would never talk. We do talk about politics, but it's not as important as in our friendship. You know what I mean. Uh, so it's interesting, yeah, but do you care? You don't care about politics, though, do you? Yeah, see, so that's why I never bring it up with you, rick. What about you?
Rick Costa:So I would say my first job, mcdonald's. When I was pretty young, I would do sometimes something with someone. I may go to the movie or hang out, blah, blah, blah, but that was it. After that job, nope, your friends were friends at work. Once I leave work, I don't know you no more. That's it. So yeah, but other than that, sammy sepsal mr.
Carmen Lezeth:Dj right, DJ right, Sammy hi. Oh my god, sammy is like our brother from another mother, oh okay, he's so cool and he's a DJ, or he was a DJ. Is he still a DJ? Yeah, okay, one of the funniest things that happened after the DNC thing. Did you hear, when I think it was late night? Stephen, what's his name?
Rick Costa:Colbert Colbert.
Carmen Lezeth:Stephen Colbert. One of the jokes he said it's the first time parents were proud to say my son is a DJ.
Rick Costa:That's funny.
Carmen Lezeth:I thought it was really a funny joke. You know what I mean. But hey, Sammy, thank you for stopping by. That's so cool to see you. It's been a minute wow okay cool. Go ahead, rick.
Rick Costa:I'm sorry so after mcdonald's you did not yeah, I don't think I ever hung out, ever after work, with anybody. And like I said at work, sure, you're my friend at work, but after work, nope, I don't know you no more like did something happen that you don't like it.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:No, just I leave work at work. I don't want you no more like did something happen that you don't like it.
Rick Costa:No, just I leave work at work. I don't want to bring nothing with me home like I got enough issues at home where I ain't trying to think about work after work if I don't have to oh, that's a good thing to think, because you usually only hear that about firemen or polic's.
Carmen Lezeth:All about the fireman.
Rick Costa:Here's the thing.
Carmen Lezeth:I am now addicted to another show called.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Chicago, oh no.
Carmen Lezeth:I love 9-1-1 too, cynthia. Oh, by the way, it's official 9-1-1. Lone Star. It's its final season. It's official. I think yesterday or whatever, but now. It took me a while to get into chicago fire, but I'm in and it's really good, yeah. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know what to say, but now, like I see the fight, like we, I've always had respect for firemen. You hear that you know you pull over, you wait. You know what I mean. Always, whatever, always thought they were great, but now I like Jen Yiflet.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:She's like bowing down to them now. Oh my God, I love you.
Carmen Lezeth:It's so long. But I really feel totally different about firemen now, completely because of these shows.
Carmen Lezeth:I didn't know what they did. I didn't know what they did. You know what I mean. I knew how good looking they were. By the way, most firemen do not look like these guys, so I'm just going to say that straight up. That's not the part I'm talking about, but the things that they do. You don't really realize it. I didn't, anyways, yeah, okay, I'm a little giddy about firemen, but you threw me off track. What was I saying about firemen? But you threw me off track. What?
Rick Costa:what was I saying about firemen? You start saying firemen, policemen and others yeah, I forgot why we're gone too.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, whatever, oh, just leaving your stuffage at work. Like you hear that professions like doctors too, they don't want to bring some of the horrible things that they see or social workers say that a lot too. If they deal with a lot of painful situation domestic violence or whatever they try not to bring that home. I think it's really hard to do that. But as I think about how work has been for me and how stressful it's been in the past, I'm trying to be better about not bleeding into time that I set aside for myself, right, like making sure I go out for that workout or go for that walk or go out for dinner with a friend or whatever, and not have it consuming.
Carmen Lezeth:But it's hard, it's hard, but it's also like when you have to put the boundaries up with a client and say I don't want to talk about politics with you and he couldn't understand why. He couldn't understand why, which was interesting. I think he was trying to egg me on to have an argument. I think that's really what was going on, because he thinks it's funny and he was being jousting, jousting. We're not jousting, but like.
Rick Costa:Was he conservative?
Carmen Lezeth:Playful. I don't think he knows what he is. I'm going to be straight up on this. It's one of these people who talk.
Carmen Lezeth:So Cynthia knows this, and I think, rick, you know this, I know a lot about, like I follow politics a lot, which is why it's so easy for me not to talk about it, because I follow it, I read it, I understand it, I can. I'm probably better versed than most people when it comes to politics, and yet I realize I know nothing. You see what I mean. Like I know a lot about politics and even yet I realize I know little. Andrea is also well versed, alden, so I like having these political conversations with people.
Carmen Lezeth:So he's one of these people who thinks that he knows stuff and he also, accidentally, as a lot of people do, are misogynistic in the way in which they're talking about the vice president. You know what I mean, like, and I don't know. I think there's going to be kind of a time period where people have to start getting used to leaders being women, or you know what I'm saying, even something as simple as calling her by her first name and then calling all the men by their last names Obama and Bush and we don't call them by their first names, so things like that. So I don't, he was trying to get me and I finally then like I I wasn't having that funny ism, but I wanted to go into something else. Is it possible that there's different, like if you have friends at work, it's a different kind of friendship than the friendships maybe you even make online, versus the friendships you have in person or whatever. Is that a possibility?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:that's fair, yeah people you meet online you don't really know like personally, you don't know their mannerisms and things like that. I know, but I think rick is my friend.
Carmen Lezeth:I would say rick is a friend. I mean not really, but just for the show, you know. Know what I mean, just in topic. No, but I would say Rick is a friend, you know. So you just do Slurpee again. He's like doing Slurpee on purpose. You see what I'm saying. Right, like I actually consider you now a friend. We've been through enough, just talk enough. You know what I mean. I actually consider you now a friend. We've been through enough, just talk enough. And even though I've never met Rick in person, I think he's a friend. And yet there are people I work with child. If they, I wouldn't even, let me just say it. They could call me day and night. I'm not going to answer that phone until I have to be back at work at nine. Don't care, test me on that night. I'm not going to answer that phone until I have to be back at work at nine. Don't care, test me on that shit.
Rick Costa:And just because you spend a lot of time with somebody does not mean they're your friend either. That's true.
Carmen Lezeth:Ooh, ooh, that's true, that's true.
Rick Costa:Because you have no choice, you have to work with them.
Carmen Lezeth:Do you think it makes it harder for you to work in the situations you've been in if you do have that boundary up or if you have friends? So the reason why I have this strong boundary now is because I made the mistake of having a friend at work and then she ended up screwing me over. This was years ago and she ended up backstabbing me and and I learned that lesson quick that was like the last time. So she was saying one thing to me in my face and then, behind my back, she was trashing me and taking credit for stuff that I was doing. And this was going on for like months and months and I didn't know until my boss at the time blew the fuck up about something I knew nothing about. Wow, and then, even though we figured out what happened, way after the fact, after I'd already left the company Okay, like you know what I mean. No, that's how bad it got, cause I was about to be fired anyways, they called me and apologized to me, the client, and wanted me to come back, and I was like, oh hell, no, you listen, because here's the thing you, as the leader, as the client, as the person in charge, you allowed the gossip and the bullshittery to continue, instead of coming up to me and asking me straight up, we could have cleaned that shit up right away, and you are not going to have me be in charge of your crap and then turn around and do something like that to me and think I'm going to come back and do that again.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't trust you and this is the problem with some of my clients. They think that it's about them needing to trust me with their millions of dollars. Honey, there is nobody on the planet who wouldn't trust me with their money. There's nobody who would not trust me with their money Nobody. People I don't know have asked me to to take care of their freaking money, because they know I don't care about money. So when I go in for and meet with a client, my whole thing is like do I trust you? You know what I mean. Like, yeah, and here are the rules, if I'm gonna work for you, you don't know how many people I've interviewed with, talked with, whatever and they're like we'll just have you sign all the. I don't sign checks, we'll just give you a credit. I do not take credit cards from my clients. No, I do not. Oh, but I'm so busy, honey, if you don't have 10 minutes a week to sign your own checks or to work with me to look at what we're spending money on, we're not doing this.
Rick Costa:Yeah, you need to have some kind of idea of what's going on.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, but people are busy. I love that word busy.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:People are always busy.
Carmen Lezeth:Until somebody embezzles from them. So people always think people that embezzle from them or people who steal from them are somehow random people, that it's like the boogeyman. No, it's always the person you trust the most. That's who embezzles from these rich people. It's always the person who's their right-hand person or their business manager, their CPA, who's? Don't worry about it, I'll sign the checks, I'll take care of everything. Cynthia, I got it, don't worry.
Carmen Lezeth:No, I have so many checks and balances in place and a lot of people don't want that. They don't want like I can't sign. I can authorize millions of dollars. I can say I need to pay so and so a million dollars, whatever, 900 something dollars to secure whatever we need to secure, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't get authorized until the other person who has the same as I do says it's OK, and he can't do it either. He can initiate something, but then I have to offer it's a checks and balance. You know what I mean. So that way, neither one of us. By the way, there's also a third party. It's always like JP Morgan or Wells Fargo there's another party involved, right? Who's actually doing the transaction.
Carmen Lezeth:So if I do something weird and I'm like no, it is for Cynthia Ruiz. Trust me, deposit it into her account. It's going to be a red flag, even if the other person authorizes it. You know what I mean.
Rick Costa:Makes me think of some of those sci-fi shows I think they even did this on Stargate once where you have to have two different people with keys and you both have to do it at the same time yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:Look, I don't even think it's about having a lot of money. It's just being smart about. It's not even about trust, because I know people trust me completely. For me, it's more about I need to have a sense that nothing went wrong. And the only way you do that because I'm human, everybody makes mistakes. You know what I mean. So that's the other thing you want. When you're dealing with anybody else's money or anybody else's livelihood and you're making decisions for them, you want somebody else to check you. You want somebody else to be like Carmen, you know what. And that's happened a couple of times where somebody was like Carmen, I don't think that's what you meant to do to that account. That's the wrong account. I was like oh my God, thank you, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, exactly yeah.
Rick Costa:And I? That's a big thing. To me is is like are we a team or not? Okay, Listen, I'm going to make mistakes, You're going to make mistakes. This is the thing that always gets. Like there's people that they love to point out. When I made a mistake, you did this and blah, blah, blah, blah. Or this really ticks me off. Bring up this. Okay, Can you see what's wrong with that? Well, obviously I would have not done it wrong if I knew what you're talking about, and then we'll wait until I finally figured it out. I'm like why didn't you just say I made a mistake? Oh, it's like that's you. Oh yeah. Meanwhile, Rick fixes everybody's dang mistakes and never says nothing. I just fix it and go on, because I got stuff to do.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I ain't got time to sit there and humiliate you Come on oh, I love the one when they go up to you and they're like, oh, can you look this up to you? And they're like, oh, can you look this up? Tell me what's wrong with it? Well, I'm not the one who did it, this person did it. You might want to ask them, not me. That's happened.
Carmen Lezeth:These are bad people, bad leaders, yep, oh yeah. But were you going to say, cynthia, I cut you off accidentally? No, I think people are confused by what it means to be a leader, right? So nobody. So this is what I try to tell my clients. So this is actually the part of the job I do, but it's the hardest part of my job.
Carmen Lezeth:I tell my clients like nobody learns from being humiliated. So if somebody makes a mistake, the last thing you should be doing is shoving it in their face every five seconds or testing them, like you can't test someone out of a mistake. So if I make a mistake and Charlie hey, charlie, that's called Exactly. I love that. But yeah, but that's kind of that thing where you have to be someone who understands that it's better to nurture people when they make a mistake, lift people up when they're having a problem and walk them through and get them to the right frame of mind, to then have the conversation of how we might be able to do this a little bit differently in the future, because here's why this didn't work.
Carmen Lezeth:That's the part of my job I love when I do have an opportunity to take a moment and say how do we do this better. How can I help you figure out how we can do this better? That's how people learn and you know how I noticed. Someone was like, oh, you're so good at your job? Yeah, because I haven't forgotten what it feels like to be humiliated by people doing exactly what you guys just said Testing my ass and shit. You know what I mean. Help them to help you Exactly, charlie.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Exactly. Someone once said to me oh, always give them the poop sandwich, the what. I know it sounds gross, but you start off with good, then you give them the bad bed and then you end with the good. So you say to them you know you're doing a good job, but you didn't make a mistake on this, so let's fix it so that for the next time you know how to do it okay, but I don't understand the poop part wait I don't give them the good, you give them the shit and then you end with the good oh, we could come up with a better.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know if that's years ago well, I I also believe in the thing if you come to it as a person who also makes mistakes, like. So I never say, cynthia, I want you to see the mistake you just made Because, okay, that's one way to handle it. So now you've just humiliated. First of all, cynthia already knows she made a mistake, right, because we're in this meeting now in front of people, right, and all you've done is exerted your pathetic power, right? Pathetic power as a leader, right? Instead, I always like to turn up first of all. Why do we need to have a meeting? We all know Cynthia made a mistake. We all know Cynthia knows we don't need to now convene the entire office to now humiliate her even more. What is the purpose of that? And one of my clients consistently will say I just want to make sure everybody knows that they cannot make the mistake again. I'm like you think that's what you teach in here.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I had a boss like that. Really, any mistake any person did, they would address it to everyone and have a meeting and call that person out. It's like you could just had a meeting with that person by themselves, because you don't know what else is making that mistake, this one.
Carmen Lezeth:That's about exerting pretend power, yeah, yeah. So that's the stuff I call out my bosses on. I'm like so did that make you feel good, cause that person's going to quit. They're never going to give 100%, ever again. They now resent you and I'm going to help them find a new job, because you just humiliated them for no reason whatsoever.
Carmen Lezeth:So, unless you want to keep them, you should go in and apologize. And all my clients will be like I'm like, okay, I'm just giving you my best advice. I'm just telling you what you just did was wrong. Charlie just said it's to make others feel like shit to pump your own nuts up. It's evil. Yes, behavior. It's the way Charlie says things.
Carmen Lezeth:You know what I'm saying it's like I love him, I love this. But yeah, that's the part of the job that I think as much as I don't love what I do, like when I have to take my actual clients and sit them down and say, in a very kind way, that didn't work, that's, and now we need to fix it. And here's how I think you need to fix it. But most people learn not from humiliation I don't know anybody who works from being humiliated, or but I do think there's a difference, right, but I do think there's a difference, right. So if Cynthia makes a mistake and we work through that mistake and then the mistake happens again, now we're talking about carelessness, right. So that's our second time we sit down and try to have a conversation and try to come at it from a different place.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, charlie is now saying assholes need to be called out. That's my job. Okay, I don't really handle like. I don't care about be called up. That's my job. Okay, I don't really handle like I don't care what the money part, that's my job. Um, and here's the thing Some people can handle it and some people cannot. And then I'm like okay, because you already paid me for the month, so I'm happy to leave, like okay, I get paid up front. Uh, but nine times out of 10, whenever I'm hired, people hire me to get rid of other people or to fix something. It's usually them that needs to be fixed, not anything in the company?
Carmen Lezeth:No, it really is, I believe it. Okay.
Rick Costa:So this thing this other thing I wanted to. Did you guys have anything else you wanted to say on that topic before we moved on to my next LinkedIn thing? I just think it's annoying that you realize how you're talking to me right now is going to really piss me off, and now I'm losing focus. Now I'm not going to be as productive because I'm sitting here fuming because you just talk to me like I'm an idiot.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, but you think that they're thinking about you. They're not thinking about you at all, they're thinking only about themselves and how it makes them feel to talk down to you, right? I mean, that's kind of the thing like, yes, from our point of view, we can see that what they're doing is stupid and only hurting you and not making. It's not going to make you better or fix anything. You know what I mean. But that's not what's going on in their head and this is what I try to explain to the team usually is from his point of view.
Carmen Lezeth:He is taking care of 6,500 people across the country and in London and he needs to make sure they get paid and this just messed up the next payroll and he's angry. His wife is divorcing him and he hasn't gotten another TV show, whatever. It is like. He's got all his own shit and he's now taking it all out on us because he thinks that it's okay to be an asshole to us. It's like when you go out on a date and you you know your first date and you realize the date turns around and treats the waiter like a piece of shit. It's the same dynamic that's happening is they're not thinking that people are equal or deserving of respect because they feel like they are better than that person, and that person is there to service them.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:so I just tell team members.
Carmen Lezeth:You have to realize that and work around that or find a new job, like those really are the choices. Go ahead, ahead. I'm sorry, rick.
Rick Costa:I saw a video that I'm convinced it was a skit. I'm like, okay, can we stop making skits, pretending like it's real?
Carmen Lezeth:Let's not talk about skits that I have not seen, because they're never good. You're always talking about babies being born. No, no, no.
Rick Costa:It was on an airplane and this guy was behind his possibly fiancée but he had a mask on so you couldn't tell and he was trying to talk to her and she was treating him like total crap. And he had a woman behind him with a sign saying will you marry me? He was going to ask her on the plane to marry her, him with a sign saying will you marry me? He was going to ask her on the plane to marry him, but then she was just berating him because she didn't know it was him and just treating him like total crap and he goes, you know what? Took the sign. She's like oh my God, honey, no, honey, no, we're done. I had no idea you treated people this way. Nope, we're done.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't even know if I believe that's really true.
Rick Costa:No, that's what I'm saying. I think it's a skit.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, why are we wasting our time on a skit?
Rick Costa:All of a sudden we're talking about Hulk, Because I was proud of him for recognizing the crap Okay, but it's a skit Right.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah there's a lot of those. Here's the clue. How you know it's a skit. First of all, too good to be true that the camera angles are perfect. Thank you, charlie. If there's editing involved, it's usually a skit, because usually good shit like that you're not going to catch it. If you do, it's like the corner of somebody's camera because they're trying to hide. Do you know what I mean? Like okay, charlie said good man, that's right, all right, I'm going like okay, charlie said good man, that's right, all right. I'm gonna go on to my next subject. Do you have any more skits with her? I'm just mad, because last time he wasted our time with that other one. That was also a skit what?
Rick Costa:the woman having a baby?
Carmen Lezeth:yeah that was a skit. The baby was right there. That popped out. What was the other one? Oh, it's the one you sent me. That was annoying okay, you sent me one and I was like this is a skit, like don't waste my time oh, I forgot what it was, but anyway, yeah, move on.
Rick Costa:What's the next thing?
Carmen Lezeth:rick's gonna jump off, be like something's wrong with my internet. Don't slurp, it's all bullshit. Charlie said um, okay. So on linkedin, which is part of this whole kind of thing, first I want to give a shout out to everybody on linkedin. We have more followers again and I'm so appreciative. Everyone on linkedin. It's so amazing, because it's hard to get people on linkedin and you know what. I think we're at 622 followers. I know, I, I know it's not a lot to other people, to me it's like everything Anyways. So somebody had posted.
Carmen Lezeth:We don't need to read the whole thing, I'll just tell you the gist of it. They're going in for interview, they're interviewing for a job and they've gone into a series of interviews, so let's say, three or four interviews for a job and they're not offered the job. Somebody else was offered the job. They were told what? Sorry, rick, we appreciate you coming in, but you didn't get the job. Then a couple of weeks goes by and clearly the first candidate decided not to take the job, and so they come back to you, rick, and they say Rick, we want you, we'd love to offer you the position at the same amount we talked about before, with all the benefits. So the question is, are you going to say yes to the job, knowing that you're their second choice and, more importantly, do you ask for more money? That's what that whole thing was. Look at, cynthia. I've been in this position before, so it's interesting.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Actually, one of my coworkers is in this position right now. Yeah, what happened? She actually works in the same department as me, so she came over before I did and she's one who actually helped me get the job. So she interviewed with them and they ended up offering her something and I guess something happened. She ended up not getting the job.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:They were going to go with someone else. Two months later they contact her again, asking her if she still wanted the job.
Carmen Lezeth:Charlie and Melanie both. I'm just going to jump because Charlie said yes, more, and Melanie just said price goes up. So they're both.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:So she did end up taking the job afterwards because she really wanted to get out where she was. But I don't know whether or not she got more money she didn't tell me, but it did happen to her.
Rick Costa:Interesting, that was interesting, rick I've had different things happen to me, where twice somebody said I had a job and then took it back.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh right, you told me this yeah.
Rick Costa:That was a bummer yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:No, cynthia wasn't here for that one. Maybe you want to share that story again, yeah, One was a definite Went got interviewed.
Rick Costa:Blah blah, blah, filled out paperwork. You got the job starting Monday. Boom, got a call maybe two hours later and he said oh, you know what. Somebody else came in and we interviewed you, already told me how to job. Why are you interviewing somebody else and you know what? They already know all the systems and they're familiar with this and that, so we don't really have to train them. So I'm sorry, blah blah, and I'm like I got all excited, told everybody I got a job, I got a job, and now I look like an idiot. The other one was I didn't really officially have, but they're like oh yeah, it's in the bag, it's in the bag, you're definitely gonna get this job. And then they're the same thing. Somebody else came along and they knew everything already. Blah blah, blah, and I'm like that one ticked me off. That's what made me leave that job. So oh no, bye-bye. Y'all treat me like crap.
Carmen Lezeth:That's crazy I don't know when it happened to me. I was the second choice, I just took the job. I didn't negotiate for more money, it didn't even dawn on me, I was just so excited to get the job. It was like part of that you for you, you're getting a new job, so it's already a raise if you don't have a job right, unless it's how bad?
Rick Costa:do you need it because you don't want to risk it yeah, yeah.
Carmen Lezeth:So I thought it was interesting. But all the comments most people were saying like, yeah, they'd go back in and be like I'm happy to reconsider this now that it's two months later, two weeks later or whatever it is but I think now I need another five thousand dollars and I was like, really, really, I don't know if I would do cynthia, would you do that?
Carmen Lezeth:I'd ask for more money, oh yeah charlie just said I've signed contracts and then got the call we're gonna go in a different car. Oh, but a contract. Can't you sue them?
Rick Costa:I don't know unless can you put in the contract yeah, I'm gonna say, can you put in the contract at our discretion? We may blah, blah blah and dissolve this. I don't know.
Carmen Lezeth:And my contract with my clients, like if they like they have, we both have to give 30 days notice, but we can you know it's at will quit whatever they have to pick Hollywood Relationship with.
Rick Costa:Hollywood.
Carmen Lezeth:But you know, like I could quit tomorrow, but like the money I got for September is done, like I have it, it doesn't matter, I quit tomorrow. You know what I mean. But yeah, I, and then I have it in my contract, but I don't know, 30 days they could just go hire somebody else, it doesn't matter. Yeah, and I get monthly payments. So I guess that's different. I'm sure Charlie's talking about a contract screen. You know, doing a. That's a different ball game and that really sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know, I don't. I've never been good at I'm really good at getting the job that I want or whatever when I was getting salary, but I was always horrible about getting a raise for myself. So I always advocate for even now I advocate for all the cause. That's the most important commodity any business owner has, it's people.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't care what your people do. And a lot of people are confused by that. They think the thing that they make is the commodity or the thing that they and I'm like right, but who makes the thing? I had one client's like I should do this all by myself. I'm like really Well, then you can solve all your problems. Get rid of your 150 people that you have working for you. Like he really thought that was the answer, like they should know. Oh, the other thing I hate one of my clients always says it's just gonna take five minutes carmen. All you have to do is call it five. Nothing takes motherfucking five minutes, nothing that's another thing.
Rick Costa:One boss too. He's oh, and he actually did this. He goes. Okay, go online. Okay. Now let's time. It okay start, do one, do an entry. Okay, see, that only took this much time. Now you should be able to get this by the end of the day. That doesn't account for. The phone's gonna ring. I gotta pick it up. Emails are gonna come. I gotta do this no, I'm not a robot, I'm not a machine do you tell him that?
Carmen Lezeth:I know, okay, charlie said we're supposed to feel good about people we live with and work with. Why else do we do it? Look at I. Everyone knows who's listening to this show, and I know you listen to this show, charlie. I hate what I do. All my clients know that I hate what I do. They know and. But I'm good at it and it brings an income. You know, I'm in that weird situation where and I think most people don't do what they love I, I don't know. Cynthia, do you do what you love? If it were up to you, you'd be creating cards, right, you'd be. I don't know what would you be doing if you weren't doing what you're doing now Because you have to.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:There's a few different things, I mean Stripper.
Carmen Lezeth:Escort. I totally see that Escort. She caught me. I'm sorry. I told everyone your truth. I told charlie just said nothing worse than chasing cash and having a shit job, which is what I think all three of us do, right, not you, but the three of us are doing it.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:But I would love to travel I like the three of us are doing it. Go ahead, Cynthia. I would love to travel. I like party planning. The woman of leisure.
Carmen Lezeth:The woman of leisure but work-wise. You would travel and do what I don't know.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Party planning, make cards, I don't know. You would do party planning. Oh yeah, I like party planning, any kind of party, I don't know you did, would do party planning.
Rick Costa:Oh yeah, I like party planning Any kind of party.
Carmen Lezeth:I didn't know you did. I'm sorry, Rick.
Rick Costa:Any kind of party or a more specific type of party, any kind Strippers Are firemen at the party. Bachelorette parties.
Carmen Lezeth:I didn't know you did event planning.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I'm not officially, not officially. Everyone always asks me to decorate and party plan them and stuff.
Rick Costa:What about a wedding planner? Or is that too much?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I would love to do that.
Rick Costa:That is a lot, though that works, don't people make good money with that?
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, would you love to do that?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:I haven't actually done a wedding so I don't know if I would love to do that, because I know weddings are a lot. That's a whole other ballgame than just like a regular birthday party or.
Carmen Lezeth:My wedding would be very simple, probably just said I do whatever I want, no matter what my job is. That's the only way I can function. Yeah, that's how I am too. I'm not faking my job. I just don't love what I do. If it were up to me we all know what I'd be doing. I'd be making movies. You know what I mean. I'd be in any way, shape or form. I'd be producing them, I'd be in them, I'd be writing them, whatever. Blah, blah, blah. I'd be all over it. I love this town. I love it. I'd be on stage. Actually, if I could do whatever I want to do, I would want to be on stage like theater. That would be my real love All right, Charlie, Love you too.
Rick Costa:Bye.
Carmen Lezeth:Charlie Bye, he's so cute.
Rick Costa:It's funny because I like to listen to a lot of podcasts and stuff and a lot of them are actually actors and so many of them say, if you only did one thing and almost I would say at least 75% of them will say theater.
Carmen Lezeth:Do you know? Why Do you want me to tell you? Why? Tell us why. I'll tell you why. Because the thing about look it, television acting and film acting is very different from theater acting.
Carmen Lezeth:Now, one of my favorite acting coaches of all time, howard Fine, who I think is amazing, and everyone should read his book, even if you're not an actor, because it talks about a lot of life skills. That's all I'll say on that. He would disagree with what I'm about to say. But from my perspective, as a performer who danced and performed as a kid and loved being on stage, the difference is simply this there's a live audience and it's one take. So you rehearse, you rehearse, you rehearse, you learn the material, you do the background, you understand the character, you really work with it, and then you go out and you do the show and whatever happens a cell phone ring, somebody screams or whatever, a light isn't working or a sound goes you have to go with it, you have to be on it. You know what I mean.
Carmen Lezeth:Film acting and television acting has to do with cameras. There's lots of retakes, so the next time you're watching a movie or watching television or even a commercial, you can see the different angles that a camera has to, that you can see it on screen, all the different angles, right? Those actors have to do those scenes over and over again. And let me tell you the reason why. I will always say that I'm a performer and I have a hard time saying I'm an actor. I am an actor but I don't like doing 1 million retakes over and over again for different cameras.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:And they're never in order right.
Carmen Lezeth:Never. So the story is exactly. That's the other thing. If you're filming a movie and it's especially if it's in one location, like in another state or something, you're going to film all the scenes that happen in that state, and they're not from beginning to end. They might happen at different times during the story. You know what I mean. So that doesn't bother me as much, because you do film a scene at a time, right. So you'll film a moment of us having dinner together and having a conversation. The problem is we're going to have that conversation at least three times, because three times they're going to have to do one overall shot of all three of us talking. Then they're going to have to do a close up of Cynthia. So again, then, rick, they have to do different camera shots and then they edit all that together. Now, it's magical when you see it all done, and I actually love being on set, but I am. I really I had to come to Jesus moment. I did. I had to come to it because I had to realize for myself I do not love this part. I don't love this part Now, big time.
Carmen Lezeth:Actors don't sit there and do the dinner scene with everybody. They have a stand in, right. So if Brad Pitt is doing a part or whatever, or Viola Davis is at the dinner table with the three of us, she's not going to sit while they're doing my shot, your shot, rick's shot, whatever They'll have a stand in, and it's a different bogus. She can come in and do her own performance for her scene and whatever they need. Have a stand-in, and it's a different bogus. She can come in and do her own performance for her scene and whatever they need. But then they bring somebody else. That's a little bit different, because that's more about coming in and doing that one moment. So I know a lot of theater. A lot of actors will say that they think theater is like this higher echelon. I don't believe that's true, but I actually think for me, film and television acting is so much harder and I revere like really revere people first of all who do both, but also people who are just stage actors. Like theater is amazing, I just love it.
Rick Costa:But television, because you have a live audience in theater, that the audience you feed off of their energy, and that's like a whole different thing too, because with the studio so television.
Carmen Lezeth:Television has a live audience if you watch a lot of not all the comedies or whatever they do, but they do retakes and retakes. And yeah, there is something about feeding off of an audience. But that can work against you too, because if the audience is, dead, you suck sometimes you'll do it before. It's not even if you suck, I mean if you're coming to a certain play, yeah, I mean, yeah, I could just suck whatever.
Carmen Lezeth:But also sometimes the audience just, you know they're not gonna laugh or clap, or you know, like, I mean one of the plays I did I'll never forget like, like, like we had night after night after night where people were laughing at the jokes and whatever, and I none of the parts I did were funny, none of the parts. I played five different characters, like we all had many characters and they were. Some of them were like two lines here, three lines there, but then I had a huge monologue at the end and my whole thing was really my characters were all very serious in different ways, right, cause I played like a housekeeper. I played, you know, like I played really hard people who are having a tough time in life, but the other people were getting laughs and they're so funny and they just had these great one lines, whatever. And one night, like the audience, cause you could hear it backstage, cause you're waiting to go on You're like, is anybody out there, remember? Like you'd peek through the thing to see because there'd be no, like you would hear nothing, and you're like, and that does a psychological thing.
Carmen Lezeth:And then what happened was I came out and I said something. They were like because it wasn't supposed to be funny. I mean, you know what, I just got to chill because I remembered that, like it was the weirdest thing. So you just but it is that love of what? Because you don't know what the audience is going to do.
Carmen Lezeth:And, more importantly, your partners, like we had, we had, I think, like 10 people on this in this play called Nickel and Dimed and people could be in a bad mood, fighting with the husband, whatever, you know what I mean Like you bring all that and then you got to try to turn that off and you know, I remember somebody. Like you know you forget your wig or something, or I had. So one of the things I had to do at the end and this happened the last performance of the entire show, the last performance. So I ended the whole show with a monologue that was pretty intense and I had to wear a. I wore a it's like black, like a gum thing, so that it looks like didn't have a tooth okay it's like a, it's a black thing, it's like gum or something.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't know what it is. I forget what, what it's called, but it's a black thing. So it looks like you're missing a tooth or whatever. And that thing was all over and it messes with you. And I remember finishing the play and we got a standing ovation. We all whatever it was the last play all of our friends were there. It was great. And I remember going up to the director, richard Kiriwoy, and I was like I can't believe I fucked up. He's like what are you talking about? And I was like my tooth thing was all over. He's like Carmen, you were fine, don't worry. But I remember being like that's how I closed the entire play, the show Like I didn't fuck it up. But you just never know what's going to happen. I love this town. I really do.
Rick Costa:I but yeah, touching on another thing we mentioned this kind of dude to do with the stand-in thing. So they just made another, the crow movie, which I heard. I don't know what the crow is, uh, it's a cult classic. Yeah, bruce lee's son, yeah, was in this. It's like a. It's like a based on a comic anyway, comic book anyway. So they made a new one and they said it was really bad, whatever. So I, so I was like, oh, they said it was bad Garbage.
Rick Costa:Almost everybody said it was garbage, but anyway. So I got nostalgic because I remember the first one. I remember that was really great. But then I also remember how sad it was because he got killed by accident, he got killed right.
Carmen Lezeth:Oh, that's when he got killed, okay.
Rick Costa:Yeah, during the end of the movie he was alive. Because they don't understand. As long as you're in that place, you might as well film everything that you're going to do in that place all at one shot, even if it's at middle and beginning. That's why I think people got thrown off. But then also they were like but there were other scenes where they just used to stand in and it was really dark so you couldn't really see his face or had him running from behind. You couldn't see from behind. So I was like you got to do what you got to do, but it was very interesting.
Carmen Lezeth:I think it's funny because I forget that people don't know how movies and television are made. You just watch it, and I don't mean that in a condescending way. It's just because we're in this town and we know exactly why it works away. It's also just cost effective.
Carmen Lezeth:You're not going to fly to Boston and film a scene of my neighborhood where I grew up and bring the whole cast out there and then bring them, you know, up to Vermont, because that's where I went to school. So that's going to be the next part of the film we're going to do. And then, oh, let's go back to California, Cause that. Oh, so that's going to be the next part of the film we're going to do. And then, oh, let's go back to California, Cause that. Oh, but wait, now we have to do the ending of the film when she goes back to the funeral. So bring them all back to Boston. So what you do is you film every single scene you have to do while you're in Boston. You do it then and then and that's how, that's how you, you figure that whole thing out, and it's fascinating.
Carmen Lezeth:Let me tell you the thing about if you guys can ever go on set to a movie that's in your neighborhood. It's hard, you can't really go on set, but if you can ever play like an extra whatever, I would encourage everyone to do it. It's a great experience because it gives you a different appreciation of film. It's such a collaborative art form and the irony is you'll even start to appreciate when movies suck because you'll realize oh okay, not a lot of connection with the crew, you know what I mean.
Carmen Lezeth:You can just start I'm not saying all that's true but you can start to understand that it's not just one person.
Rick Costa:You can try to blame one person, but that's not how it works, although the director will always take responsibility if they're a good director but, yeah, yeah that's funny, because people watch movies and in your mind you're watching and you're like this happened and that happened and that happened, but that's not necessarily how they filmed it at all they take all the pieces from wherever they need to take it, and then the editor, who is the most, I think, important person in the film. Sorry, directors, yeah they can make it great.
Carmen Lezeth:I mean, look it, there's no doubt directors watch over the editors too. So I don't want to diss directors, but I'm just saying a really great editor or a really bad editor Could be make or break. Also, music. I've decided if you ain't got good music, yeah, I think it was John Williams. You guys know who John Williams is. Of course you do John Williams. Of course you do Every single movie that Steven Spielberg has ever done Star Wars, he's, I think he's. John Williams has done every of one of those scores, indiana Jones, all of that, all the good ones, like all that music, creating that music for film. It's just such. Try to watch a movie without music. Yeah, no, interesting, different feeling.
Rick Costa:People take it for granted, but it does make a big difference. It messes with your emotions and you know where it really is important. I know you don't watch this kind of stuff, but it really is important. Horror movies, because that music sets the suspense big time yeah, I don't watch horror movies. I know I just watched the Deliverance on Netflix because it's like number one. A lot of people talk about it what's the? Deliverance it's like the black version of the Exorcist it's supposedly based on a true story.
Rick Costa:Supposedly yeah, yeah, but Glenn Close was in it and she did her thing. At her age I believed she was who she was. I was like wow.
Carmen Lezeth:So Cynthia hasn't seen it yet, though no.
Rick Costa:Yeah, that's why I'm not saying a whole lot. You didn't say nothing. Yeah, that's why I'm not saying a whole lot, you're not saying nothing.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, yeah, I don't know, because last time you spilled all the beans.
Rick Costa:It's been out so long, I'm like listen, it didn't last that long, come on.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I'm not a horror film person, so it's a tough one for me, but I know I can't. Okay, going back to Chicago Fire, they show some leg cutting open and I'm like, yeah, I'm a wuss, I have no.
Rick Costa:That's why I don't do the Saw movies. I don't do none of that.
Carmen Lezeth:What is Saw these all horror movies?
Rick Costa:The guy with the mask and the tricycle. No, we don't do that.
Carmen Lezeth:I don't even know what that is.
Rick Costa:No, you have to cut your arm off the stage or something like that.
Carmen Lezeth:Has Cynthia watched the Saw?
Rick Costa:Looks like she has.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:That's why I said you would not like it, Carmen, at all.
Carmen Lezeth:Look, I will tell you the only to me and I know you guys are going to be like please. The only horror film I've ever sat through and it was only because it was nominated for an Oscar was Silence of the Lambs, and I know that is not horror to you guys, but it was psychologically painful. It won, actually, right, jodie Foster won. Huh, that's a good movie. Oh, the Silence of the Lambs, that's not horror, right. It's psychological thriller, right, kind of horror.
Rick Costa:What about the Shining? Didn't you see the Shining? Well, I studied the Shining For school.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, I mean I wasn't around. I mean that came out in like 1970 or something right.
Rick Costa:That's a pretty famous one though.
Carmen Lezeth:Because, I studied Stanley Kubrick, but I, okay, that's what I'm saying, but those are psychologically crazy, okay, wait. So silence in the lands. Let me just tell you I had to wait until it was nominated and then I had I think it was mia, I forget who it was told me every single thing that was happening in the, that was going to happen, the movie. And then we went to the movie and before anything was going to happen, she told me so I already knew, so I like watched it and it was like, oh, okay okay, so it didn't bother you as much, because you know it bothered me, but I was because it's creepy, but it didn't bother me in the way.
Carmen Lezeth:I would have never, I would have left right at the.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez:Yeah, that was crazy yeah, she would not be able to handle size is a very gruesome movie, but it the point of the movie is this man created this whole I don't even know what to call it but this whole game where these people he kidnaps, these people who have taken life for granted, and trying to teach them a lesson about life. But it's very gruesome because if they don't learn the whole situation, their head gets cut off or they blow up or something very gruesome happens to them, but don't they have to also self-mutilate sometimes?
Rick Costa:That's the part I'm like. I don't know, sometimes yeah, If somebody else hits you or stabs you, that's one thing, but myself Doing it to me myself.
Carmen Lezeth:Nah, I don't even understand, like the. I don't know. It's just weird. I don't know. I don't know why you guys like it. That's what I find weird that I don't like the depravity of who you believe is like beyond my understanding. No, I don't. I you know what I have never. I remember when I was growing up.
Carmen Lezeth:The big movie was friday the 13th oh yeah and I was like, yeah, no, I'm see that I'm not going to see it. And I didn't. I've never seen it and I know now that's like the joke of a movie to watch because it's so cheesy. But I'm one of those people that I have nightmares if I see something bad or feel something bad, and so I choose not to consume that stuff. And it's not because I don't think I'm overly sensitive, I just think it just is a deep, dark thing that I don't want to deal with.
Rick Costa:Yeah, that makes sense.
Carmen Lezeth:Yeah, if you have nightmares, no, when you guys are just evil so you can deal with it. You know what I mean. That's what I'm trying to share.
Rick Costa:My mom.
Carmen Lezeth:I'll never forget.
Rick Costa:When I was a kid I don't know exactly how old I was, but I was pretty young there was a vampire movie. My mom was like I was like, oh, look at this vampire. Oh, that's cool. Whatever, that's scary. You're going to have nightmares. I was like, no, come on, I'm not a baby. I'm not a baby. That night I had a nightmare that my dad was a vampire trying to kill me, and my mother and I never forgot it? No, I think it was more of a traditional one. I can't remember exactly, but no.
Carmen Lezeth:All right, Well, on that note, I had one hour 15 minutes.
Rick Costa:All about the scares.
Carmen Lezeth:How did we get here? It was supposed to be a full-on business conversation. It was wasn't it. It was, and we talked about Hollywood business though, too, Charlie Charming and everything that was good.
Rick Costa:Yeah, I thought he was going to come up for the minute.
Carmen Lezeth:Let me just say thank you for you two as well, because I haven't taken a moment to thank you both, because you've been consistent in being on the show. I appreciate your support as we go through this process. I'm going to have an ending next week. I don't have it today but, rick, make sure you go and watch.
Rick Costa:I know I can't wait to watch it.
Carmen Lezeth:Okay, cynthia, it was good. Right, it was good. Okay. Anyway, you'll let me know, rick, what you think. Anyways, everyone, thank you. Please check out allaboutthejoycom if you want to buy some swag. We'd really appreciate it. Any money that we make, which is like $1 or $2 for mugs and hats and t-shirts just goes right back into the show, paying for software, paying for all the little things that we're doing to try to get the show going. So we'd appreciate that. So we'll see you all next week and thank you and remember, it really is all about the joy. Bye everyone. Good night, thanks for stopping by. All about the joy. Be better and stay beautiful folks, have a sweet day.