Episode 168: From Bedtime Battles to Family Meetings: Raising Disciplined and Responsible Kids with Missy Yandow

In this episode, host DJ Stutz is joined by Missy Yandow, a pediatric sleep consultant and potty training coach, for an insightful conversation about the crucial role of self-discipline in parenting. Together, they break down why consistency is the cornerstone of teaching self-discipline to our kids, sharing practical tips and real-life examples along the way.

Missy dives into the importance of establishing routines, and the discussion also explores the power of weekly family meetings, where families can come together, set expectations, and strengthen relationships through open communication. 

DJ highlights the importance of parents modeling self-discipline, noting that children learn best by watching what we do. Consistency, especially when it’s tough, can be a game-changer in fostering self-discipline. Whether you're managing bedtime battles or helping your child navigate the ups and downs of growing up, this episode is packed with expert advice to help you along the journey.

Tune in to learn actionable strategies for parenting with purpose and teaching your kids self-discipline in a positive, loving way!

Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Imperfect Heroes so you never miss an episode!

TIMESTAMPS
4:34  DJ and Missy discuss the importance of self-discipline for both parents and children.
11:17  DJ and Missy discuss the importance of not using empty threats and following through on consequences.
22:16  DJ and Missy discuss the benefits of weekly family meetings for setting expectations and addressing challenges.
27:00  eff and Missy discuss the importance of parents setting their own boundaries and being consistent.

52 Modern Manners for Kids

For more information on the Imperfect Heroes podcast, visit: https://www.imperfectheroespodcast.com/

Vote for the Imperfect Heroes Podcast: https://womeninpodcasting.net/imperfect-heroes-insights-into-parenting/

Connect with Us!
DJ Stutz -
Website: https://www.littleheartsacademyusa.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheImperfectHeroes
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imperfect_heroes/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOpphCRklDJiFXdS76U0LSQ

Transcript

DJ Stutz  0:14  

You're listening to imperfect heroes insights into parenting, the perfect podcast for imperfect parents looking to find joy in their experience of raising children in An imperfect world, and I'm your host, DJ Stutz.

Hey everyone, all my heroes and heroines. Thank you for joining us for imperfect heroes, and today, we are continuing our conversation about self discipline and that, how we teach that to our kids, and even how we apply it in our own lives, that's such a huge part of parenting is our own self discipline. So we're going to be talking about that in just a second with my amazing guest, Missy Yandow. But before we get started, I just wanted to remind everyone that you have a great opportunity to get in on a free workshop. I do this once a month.  I just, that's something I do for the people at large. So it's the fourth Thursday of every month at 1pm Mountain Time. It's called Parenting Perspectives, and you can sign up for it. It doesn't cost anything to you, but when you sign up, if that time doesn't particularly work for you, you can always get the replays on that as well. And you have access to all of the replays of all of the workshops, and so that makes it kind of fun. But if you can make it, we have a lot of fun with people just talking and sharing. And I have had everything from someone just thinking about having a baby, they haven't even they're not even pregnant yet, up to grandparents. I know I was like, good for you, checking this out, you know, yeah, and coming up because they wanted to have a conversation between each other as husband and wife. And I thought, man, you are on top of your game. Good for you. So we get everything in between, but they're just fun. They're interactive. We share stories and ideas. It really is. And if anyone's interested, go ahead and register. The website is www.Little Hearts Academy usa.com, and you can just click on the Parenting Perspectives picture there, and you'll get all registered, and you'll be good to go. Well, let's get started. Speaking of good to go, let's get started. So Missy, let's talk for a little bit about where you're coming from, your family, your experience, and then we'll kind of just jump into our topic.

Missy Yandow  2:52  

All right, so I am in Rochester, New York. We are nowhere near New York City. Everyone always thinks, no, we are closer to Niagara Falls. So Wow. Yeah, I was just at the airport the other day, and this girl was like, Oh, are you from New Jersey? And I'm like, No, upstate New York. And she's like, Oh, New York. And I'm like, no, no. We are so suburban upstate, and I love it. I have three children who are seven, nine and 10. So we have very close in age kids, and we're kind of in the thick of it with all the activities and everything that they're doing keeping us busy these days. My business is slumber and bloom. I'm a pediatric sleep consultant and potty training coach. I am really passionate about helping young families, getting routines and healthy sleep habits, getting those potty training issues resolved. I'm seeing a lot this time of year of kids who need to be potty trained for preschool. So we're in the thick of all those situations and dealing with getting kids really ready for school, and then getting the little babes sleeping through the night. So yeah, before my business, I was a preschool teacher. This career has been really perfect for me, and you get really, really in depth look into a family and how to really help them.

DJ Stutz  4:18  

For sure, the last time we talked, man, it was fun. Like, okay, we really have to go because we could talk forever. We could we, could we enjoy each other? And we have similar attitudes on issues like self discipline. And we talked about, we want to teach our kids to be self disciplined, and that can include up to things following the rules if mom and dad aren't there, and then understanding what expectations are and moving through with that, but also self discipline on our part as parents is so huge, and really that's where we have to start, is with ourselves, yeah, and I think honestly, with probably most parenting topics, it's really the parent that needs to look inward to say, Okay, where am I on this? 

Missy Yandow  5:08  

Yeah, totally. And it's the word I say all the time, and it's consistency, and it's really the biggest key to making any change. I was having a conversation with a mom a couple days ago whose toddler will not stay in bed, and I'm like, Oh, well, have you tried the hatch? And I like to use, have you heard of the hatch white machine? It has, it's a white noise machine, but it has nightlight system with it. And as the baby grows into a toddler, you can set sleep times, wake times, and kind of use it as a toddler clock system, because obviously toddlers can't help time, so tell them, red means stay in bed. Green, you can be seen. And the mom was like, Well, yeah, I tried that with her, but it didn't work. She didn't care. And I was like, so how many times did you try it? I knew her answer was going to be one time. And I was like, well, that wasn't consistent. That was a one time thing. We don't learn things with one time, so we need to try again, and we need to stay consistent for at least two weeks before throwing in the towel. So I think a huge, huge part of it, and anything that we're modeling for our children, needs to be done more than once, because, yes, they're watching and learning everything but the things we want them to learn. It's going to take so many times of repetition for them to learn and kind of catch on and follow our lead. It's always those things we don't want them to learn that they see at one time, and they're like, oh, yeah, I'm going to pick up on this right away.

DJ Stutz  6:40  

Right? Right, right? Isn't that the truth? That's so true, and so we do have to be really careful with what we're doing as a parent and who we are becoming, because we're still continuing to grow and mature. We have new experiences, new responsibilities, new whatever. I mean, you know, here I am. I'm an old fart, and I'm still learning new things. I'm learning things about myself, and I'm learning how to manage my life around me. So we've had our six year old grandson with us now for almost six weeks now for the summer, and I'm a little more firm and have higher expectations, yeah. And so he came in, and it took us about a week to get him to figure out, oh, Naina and Poppy mean this.  They say this for sure, I really do have a bedtime. But then it's so funny, because it just became so easy and fun to have him around, and he's learned what all of these things mean, and now my life for the summer just became much easier. 

Missy Yandow  7:43  

Oh, of course. Yeah, right. 

DJ Stutz  7:45  

So it's a little work coming in at the front end. Yeah. That's the truth with everything, though

Missy Yandow  7:50  

It is, it is. Well, okay, so I'm gonna make a Kardashian reference here. So Kim was talking like a couple episodes back, she's like, my kid, they're wild and out of control. They're walking all over me. They think they can do whatever they want. And then there's Chloe, who's, like, very structured and regimented, and she has her expectations, and her kids are wonderful. And Kim's like, I guess I gotta be more like her. And then they were talking about, Kim was saying how it was two really rough weeks and a lot of correcting and not giving them devices and really having structured meal times, and we're sitting down as a family, like we're eating together. You're not going to have your phone at the table, and she's like, and I am living in such a blissful peace right now because I stuck with it for those two tough weeks. Yeah, and they know the expectations, they know the rules. They know that I mean business when I say to do something. And I mean it just kind of goes to show that even the Kardashians are struggling with these things. But if you stick to it, it's going to be worth it. 

DJ Stutz  9:03  

Yeah, so true. And I recognize too that all of our kids are very different. I've got five kids, five very different personalities, and so some kids will latch on to things much more quickly than others, and some that two weeks is kind of average. So some kids may get whatever it is you're teaching faster, while other kids it may take a little longer, and then you have to understand too. They're going to revisit this every now and then to see, is this still something?  And I totally expect it.

Missy Yandow  9:44  

Yeah, it's a good sign that they're trying to, like, exercise their individuality and control, and I don't think it's a bad thing that kids want to be in control, because it is their own life, but they do need that reminder of yeah, you live here. You're gonna do it my way, yeah?

DJ Stutz  10:06  

And that doesn't mean that you're inflexible, right, even, but we have this circle, and you can work within that circle however way you want, however way fits you. But this is a line we don't cross. I don't care what your personality is, right?

Missy Yandow  10:26  

I tell parents all the time, they're firm, but loving boundaries absolutely be firm and loving at the same time. 

DJ Stutz  10:34  

You can, and you don't need to be screaming and yelling at them to enforce a boundary. Oh, no, we're not doing that. Well, I understand we're still not doing that. Now, here's some other things, and you can kind of try and divert their attention, especially when they're younger. We're really diverting attention a lot, but we stick with it, and we don't need to scream and yell. How many times do I need to tell you? Well, evidently, at least one more. So it's always one more, one more.

Missy Yandow  11:03  

I tell parents all the time that you're going to feel like a broken record. Pick a phrase and keep saying it, because if you keep trying to say something in different ways, then they're going to get different messages. So whatever the message is. I mean, even yesterday, I told my kids we're going to go swimming once your rooms are clean and like, then I guess we're not going. And I was like, Yeah, then I guess we're not this constant reminding conversation of we can go when your room is clean. And then one other would ask, Are we going yet? Yes, when rooms are clean. So I like, like, using that too. Like, yes, we can after XYZ, 

DJ Stutz  11:42  

Right.   And that's so brilliant. You're really smart, kiddo. Well, I guess we're not going then, so smart. Oh, there you go. There you go. But it's okay, so you have to be okay with because I think they, they kind of bank on, I know mom wants to go too.  It's time away. We're out in the sun. We're having fun. I know my mom wants to go too, so they're testing your resolve. So you have to be okay with, yeah, we missed the deadline. We can't go now. It's too late. Maybe next time, and you stick with that, then they'll learn.

Missy Yandow  12:19  

The empty threats are the ones that, those are the kids  are gonna know, well, they're gonna tell me, I can't have the iPad at the restaurant, but then I'm gonna get them really loud and I know they're gonna give me the iPad at the restaurant, so it's fine, yeah, I could do this. 

DJ Stutz  12:33  

Yeah, no, we can pick up and go, yeah, it would have been nice to have dinner, but yeah, we're not doing that. And in fact, it was really funny. So one of the things, so I'm gonna fink on my daughter a little bit, he has his, you know, iPad. Every kid has their iPad, and of course, I have, yep, time limitations and things. Well, she called us and said, Did you guys buy something, what? And I said, No, no, no, no. Well, he bought two more games or add ons or whatever for Minecraft, yeah. And I said, Well, now we've explained to him, and I know you've explained to him, he's not and we had parental controls, but this kid's so smart, at six, he knew his way around the parental controls, right? So he bought these two things. And so then she said, Well, I mean, I've already paid for them, I guess you might as well. I'm like, Oh no, no, no, no no. He does not get to play with these things. If you want him to keep buying stuff behind your back, that's what you're gonna do. No no no while he's here anyway, once he goes home, you're gonna do what you're gonna do. But I'm telling you your life is going to be miserable if you keep with that attitude. And so we took the iPad away for a day. He's only allowed on it, like an hour a day here. Anyway, I live in the middle of God's farm country, where it's literally, there's horses next door, cows around the I mean, yeah, we're out there. Why are you on the iPad? Right get off. Go play with the neighbor kids. Have some fun anyway. So he lost it for a day, and then he got it back, and two days later, there's my Noel calling. Did you buy anything? Again? Something's come through. I'm like, Oh, really. Okay, yeah, so then it was a week. He doesn't get it back till tomorrow, and he's been bugging me every day, so I think I should have my iPad back now. I'm like, no, no, no, because I can't trust you, and we've used that term trust. I need to know and I want you to be able to trust you, and I want you to pay attention to this. And he tried the tears. I'm like, yeah, if you need to cry, you can cry. That's fine. I understand you're sad, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're welcome to be sad, but you're still not getting that. And get the iPad back in a week. Yeah, yeah. So then he came up to me, and he came with an iPad and a phone. That phone has yet to be turned on. It has never been turned on while he's been here. So then he came up to me and he said, Well, is the phone the same as the iPad? I said, Yes, yes, it is screen. No, you're not. No, it's not happening. Oh. Anyway, I said, No, buddy, what's gonna happen then, if you buy something after you get your iPad back, what will happen? And he was like, Oh, I don't know. And I said, that means you don't get it back till you go home. It's gone here. If mom and dad want to give it back to you, that's fine, but you will not get it back until you go home really, like, oh yeah. And you know, I mean it now, you know, right?

Missy Yandow  15:51  

Because you didn't use empty threats, you actually followed through. Yeah, yeah.

DJ Stutz  15:58  

And so anyway, we'll, we'll see. I mean, he's coming to the end of his tour of duty here with, yeah, with his Nina and Poppy. But it's so cute, though, because he'll say things like, I know you love me because you're teaching me. He's a great Yeah, well, his parents are both salespeople, and they

Missy Yandow  16:17  

Okay, all right. He's picking up.

DJ Stutz  16:18  

He's very Yeah, he's smart. He's really smart, and he's learning.  And he'll say that, well, why do kids have to listen to their parents? Oh, well, because parents love you, and they're teaching you things that you don't know yet. Anyway, I mean, you can have these talks. You can hear in my tone of voice, we're just saying things I don't need to yell or get mad or whatever. You'll never see it again, right? Yeah, that's an empty threat, as you do.

Missy Yandow  16:49  

Yeah? Because you know that's not going to happen. Yeah, I can't remember what I was reading, but I read it somewhere like last week about how shifting your mindset on what it means to be a parent, even, and how, yes, you're raising a child, but you're also raising an adult, and even though they're young right now, you don't want to treat them like babies, because like they're going to be raised like babies. And think like babies their whole lives. And just think like, oh, you're going to do this for me. You're going to do this for me. You're going to hand me this. You're going to do that for me. And really just kind of letting them foster that independence and treating them as though they are grown up. Because they're going to have to practice. They're going to have to practice doing things on their own, whether it's brushing their teeth and tying their shoes or writing paper and doing their summer reading. And those even having those natural consequences that they choose not to do it. So yeah, I thought that was really it was interesting, because I think a lot of times we think I'm the parent, I know what's best for my kid, but also, where do we kind of give and take a little bit on letting them have that independence and nurturing that side of things,

DJ Stutz  17:59  

Yeah, for sure, and the confidence to go forward with those things. And so I mean this so this year, you know, we've had a theme for every month, and we've actually, we've gone through the gifts of the Spirit, is what we've really done, and then added on a few things here and there. But every one of these things is building up to independence, confidence and the courage to stand and to be able to be counted on. I can count on my son or my daughter to do A or B. Now, you don't want to be an idiot. I'm so tactful. Don't be an idiot. But, but don't think that my child would never do this or that, right? And then it turns out, Oh, your child did, yeah, because any child given the right circumstances, I think, just like any adult given the right circumstances, is capable of doing all kinds of things that are out of character, and so being open to hearing things and getting all the information instead of assuming it's not my child's fault, probably is. So if we go forward with that attitude and understanding that everybody makes mistakes, including your child, including yourself, and so you want to give grace, but you also want to teach them that self discipline, and if they don't know what the boundaries are and the boundaries are always changing, they don't have that structured self discipline that enables them to move forward in life. Everybody needs that self discipline within.

Missy Yandow  19:34  

I noticed when my kids were younger and they were toddlers, I used these like bedtime routine cards with them, and like, we show them, like, brush your teeth, get your pajamas on, read a book, and like, all the things, and having that consistency and doing the same thing every single night. As they got older, we would be able to say, Okay, go start your routine cards. And they would be able to do that on their own. And then. This point where you're like, oh, wow, they've done all the things, and all I gotta do is read and tuck them in. It's fantastic. So like, yeah, yeah. And really, just kind of having that structure, giving them that independence and like, they'll have that self discipline, because you're giving them that consistency. Think about adults, we all thrive on consistency and routine down to the point where you want to sit in the same chair every time you go to it's true. I was on an airplane and I'm like, I need to have a window seat, because I always have a window seat, and if I don't have a window seat, I'm not happy. So even adults have all those things. So to not have those realistic expectations of children would be totally crazy. So that's why there's more chaos in the homes that don't have the structure and all of that, because the kids have no predictability of like, what's happening next, what's expected of them, what to do so they don't have that plan. So it's definitely harder up front to put in that work and have those routines and expectations established. But man, I'm telling you, once it's all established and I ah, that's blissful peace, as Kim Kardashian says.

DJ Stutz  21:17  

And it is true, it's the self discipline of the adult of the parent that comes in, so that, and again, it's harder up front, but man, the payoff is so huge, you know, so that even if I am tired, even if I have had a really bad day or I'm not feeling well, but the expectations and routines stay consistent, and so between you and Your spouse, or however you're going to work it with you're not feeling well or not up to it, but that you have your own boundaries, that you're defining for yourself. If you want to have a boundary about the tone of voice you use with your kids, if you want to have a boundary about we sit down and eat dinner together, and I know with sports and with all of that, every night might not work out for every woman, 

Missy Yandow  22:06  

Or even three nights a week we sit down and have dinner together practice, but not. 

DJ Stutz  22:16  

Yeah, exactly. Or even, you know, I'm a big advocate of the weekly family meeting, especially even when the kids are little, but even as they get older, even if you're just going over the calendar for the week, as the kids are older, but when they're younger, this is such a great opportunity to practice. How can you handle it? If your sister takes your toy? What are some ways then that we can practice handling it. What are some ways that you can take events from during the week that maybe went awry, that people struggled with, and say, Yeah, I noticed that didn't go well this week. So let's talk about some other ways we can do it. Do some role play. Have some fun with it.

Missy Yandow  22:57  

I gotta show you. Let me real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we have this book. It is 52 Modern Manners for kids, and once a week we go through and we flip the page, and it has different lessons on each page, like, respect different learning speeds, like how people learn at different rates. Yeah, bathroom manners. Ask to play respectfully, introduce yourself to new people you don't know. So it has like, all these, like different life lessons that you can teach your kids. And it tells you, why is this important? It explains exactly what it means, and then it has role play situations. So so this is the first year that I got this for the kids, and once a week, we'll flip the page, we'll read it, we'll talk about it, and then we'll go through it says, let's practice roleplay or discuss these storylines. So it's really cool. And then it gives you a challenge for the week, and it's an awesome conversation starter and a way to teach these lessons, I know, and I discovered it, I think it was on Amazon at Christmas, yeah, right. Then it just keeps on giving every week of the year.

DJ Stutz  24:17  

How fun is that? But that is so great. And so if you're struggling with ideas on, well, what do we talk about this week? Or what are some things to teach you've got that, and I love it.

Missy Yandow  24:29  

Really cool. Yeah. And now, like, as they're getting older and they can read, I can be like, okay, Timmy, you read it this week. Or Kaya, you read this one, or point there yet, but we'll be like, you read into Joshua, and then Joshua answered the question. So yeah, like, you do it in so many different ways, and it's like, they look forward to it now they know absolutely, like, it's time to switch the page. Let's see what's next. So it's really cool. 

DJ Stutz  24:52  

Yeah, and the kids do look forward to those weekly meetings, and when they get used to it, and even if, like, I said, I. As they get older, but I think even when you've got teens, it's a good way to talk about strategies, or, yeah, yeah, what's going on in their life, and what are these boundaries that are expected, and how can I manage it when I've got all this peer pressure going on, or even teachers at school telling me things that are contrary to what I'm being taught at home. How can I manage through that? And so there's just so many opportunities for conversation, but if you know that, you've set aside and doesn't matter, I know one family. I was coaching with them. This was a couple years ago, but we were talking about setting up these family weekly family meetings, and what they found worked for them was they had a late start one day a week at their school. I think it was Wednesdays, I'm not sure, but whatever. And so they took that late start time to do their family meeting in the morning so that they're getting up and doing things. That routine stayed the same, even though it was a late start. But then that gave them time to do this on that morning. And so it doesn't even need to be an evening thing. It's what works best for you and your family. And then two having those boundaries for myself that I know I need to do X, Y and Z. It helps me be more organized. It helps me be calmer. It helps me. And then when you know that it's in later on, you get super tired or super sick or whatever happens, and your kids are independent enough they have their own level of self discipline that they'll do those things without you. 

Missy Yandow  26:36  

That's a beautiful thing, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, when you know that you can even just give them a little bit of guidance and they're going to go do it, because mommy said.

DJ Stutz  26:44  

Yeah, yeah. So then this is years ago, but when we lived in Las Vegas, and we were friends with this family, and they they were part of our church, and so they did family prayer together every night, they knelt together as a family and would pray together. And one night, mom and dad were out, and it was the first time the oldest kid was left to babysit the younger kid. Oh, right, so that's always a big deal night when that happens that first time. Anyway, they had dinner, and then they called home to make sure it was, you know, not burning or whatever. And their son answered, and he said, well, um, can you call us back? Because we're just getting ready for our family prayer.  Without the parents there, he knew, well, this is part of our routine. This is what we do. And so, of course, the parents are like, whoa, so happy. That's a huge thing for him to want to lead that on his own. And so the payoffs are so big down the road, but it truly does take self discipline on the part of the parent in order for the kids to pick up on that. And so if there's chaos and all that's going on in your life, probably the first thing you do, and I'm just using probably to be nice, but definitely the first thing you want, but first thing you need to do is look at yourself and say, Where am I not being consistent? What do I need to change in the way that I'm addressing things so and I remember the first time we talked, you were telling me this story, and I'll have you tell a bit about a family, and the little girl wasn't going to sleep at night, and the TV in the bedroom seemed to be an issue. Do you want to share that story? 

Missy Yandow  28:39  

Yeah, I was doing a sleep consultation. And this toddler, she had a TV in her bedroom, and I was in home, so I go and I'm looking at her room. I always do a bedroom assessment, and I'm like, Oh, we got to get this TV out of here. And the parents were like, well, she's not going to let me get the TV out so you can do it. And I was like, Yes, I will do it. And I just walk right in there, I unplug it, I pick it up, and I'm carrying it out, and that little girl told me to go home. She was not happy. She was not thrilled that I was taking her TV out of her room. But I said, you don't get a TV in your bedroom, and I'll go home after you go to sleep. So... 

DJ Stutz  Ah, so there's your incentive. 

Missy Yandow  Yep, yeah, and, and I do wonder, because this was a couple years ago, I wonder if she has a TV in her room now, but yeah, lik e the whole, my kid won't let me, oh, 

DJ Stutz  And a toddler, yeah, holy smokes. But how many times do we, and I've dealt with the exact kind of thing too, where, okay, we've got this process. We're gonna instill it in the family, and then comes back the next week, it was like, yeah, the kids didn't go for it. Get what? Yeah, yep. And then I'll tell there's your problem. 

Missy Yandow  Yeah, I will tell them off the bat, I am warm and fuzzy and super. Lovey dovey, but the minute you need tough love, I'm going to tell you, this is the time that I need to give you the tough love. Go back and do what we planned you were going to do and keep doing, because you're not going to see progress if you're not going to be consistent. 

DJ Stutz  30:14  

So true. So absolutely true. And again, going back to you don't have to be mean about it, you don't have to, like, I'm taking this TV. Just like, nope, it's going and they throw a fit. It's like, yeah, I understand you're sad. And if you need to cry, cry, I think I would cry if someone wanted to take mine. So that's fine, but it's still going, right?

Missy Yandow  30:36  

Yeah, I understand you want a TV in your room, and the TV is downstairs in the living room, or, you know, whatever. But just letting them know, TV's not going away forever. It's just going away from your bedroom. You can still watch those downstairs during TV time, because they don't need to be watching TV all day, and they don't need to be falling asleep with it on.

DJ Stutz  30:56  

Oh my gosh, that's bad for everybody. I hear about adults who fall asleep with the TV and they're tired all the time. Is like, well, this is why,Missy Yandow  31:06  

yeah, and it's even like that with sometimes parents will play lullabies or, like, gentle music while their kids are sleeping, and don't really understand why I say we can't do that. And just think about, what are your brainwaves doing when you're still like, TV's on in the background, you got music on in the background, like, are you really getting sleep? I don't know. How people fall asleep with the TV on, and then it's on in the middle of the night, and then it's like, no, yeah,

DJ Stutz  31:32  

 Yeah. I don't know either. And we wonder why they pump out exactly, and they they'll struggle at school. And I've had kids, I mean, not every year, but probably half of the years that I was teaching, they would fall asleep in class every day. One year, I had a little girl who came in her jammies, at least half the time, just came to school in her jammies, and she's one that would fall asleep every day in class. So we kind of had a thing set up, and I knew if I let her sleep for like, 20 minutes, I'd get more out of her. And her parents would say, yeah, she just won't go to sleep. Like, well, we could talk about that. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, oh, there's so much more to say. And I know we're running out of time, but I know you and I.  You're so on the same page. And yeah, so much fun to talk to. And so Missy, why don't you let everybody know what's the best way to get a hold of you and to find out more, and if they want to engage with you as a sleep coach for their family. 

Missy Yandow  32:37  

Yeah, it's slumber and bloom.com. I also have Instagram is slumber and bloom. I'm primarily on YouTube at slumber and bloom. So all the everywhere, slumber and bloom. Perfect way, yeah, set up a call, send me a message, either way. DJ Stutz  32:54  

Sounds great. And so before we go, I always ask my guests the same question. And so we know that there are no perfect parents, but some do seem more successful than others. What do you consider a successful parent?

Missy Yandow  33:09  

I think a parent who is always trying to learn more and educate themselves, not only about parenting in general, but about their own child's learning style. So it does make it more difficult, especially when you have more than one child who has a different learning style, and it can be a little bit more exhausting. But in the long run, doing what's best for your child, where they are, is the best that we can do for our children, yeah, instead of, like, trying to put them into our box, we can still teach them those loving, firm boundaries, but knowing that we're kind of meeting them where they are, developmentally, emotionally, all the things and, you know, continuing to learn about it. I do audiobooks, and I always try to listen to like, either something, professional development, personal development, parenting, and then maybe something. But I'm so like, I always try and listen to, like, a fun book, and then a couple minutes into it, I 'm like, Oh, this is so unrealistic. And then I just abort. That's not being realistic.  I just can't, yeah.

DJ Stutz  34:18  

So, always learning. Always be learning. ABL. ABL, always be learning. That's for sure. And so, Missy, thank you so much. You and I could talk for hours, and we've proven that so so I'm sure that we'll connect again, and I'd love to have you back on the show again sometime too. Yeah, great.

Missy Yandow  34:43  

Thank you.

DJ Stutz  34:44  

You bet. And everyone, if you liked what you heard in today's episode, be sure to give us a like a review. Five stars is the appropriate number of stars, and let us know. And if you want to ask questions or whatever, you can always check. Check us out at Imperfect Heroes Podcast on both Instagram and Facebook. We've got those two going on. And of course, there's always the website. All the links are in the show notes. Just feel free to take advantage of these great resources. And so until next time, let's find joy in parenting. See you later. Guys, thank you so much for sticking around to the end of today's episode of imperfect heroes. Parenting is truly one of the most rewarding journeys we can take. But let's face it, it can be incredibly challenging, and sometimes we make it harder on ourselves than it needs to be. The good news is that with a little bit of work up front, there are practical steps you can take to bring more peace and joy into your family life. I am passionate to share these strategies and insights with you. If you're ready to step on the paths of joyful, effective parenting, I invite you to schedule a family checkup. Just click on the calendar link in the show notes below. Schedule a time that works perfectly for you, and let's work together to create a more harmonious and happy environment. And remember every small step that you take today makes a big difference. So thank you again for joining us, and until next time, let's find joy in parenting. 

Transcribed by https://otter.ai