The Burn Podcast by Ben Newman

Building Mental Toughness: Preview of Mental Toughness Forum 2024

Ben Newman Season 6 Episode 26

We started the Mental Toughness Forum with a MISSION…To help someone like YOU…

-get off the sidelines in life

-understand YOUR strength comes from your struggle

-realize that YOUR greatest life lies on the other side of your ability to push THROUGH the tough times

-connect with individual stories that YOU might connect with more than my own

-build belief that they ARE worthy of everything good this life has to offer

and as we come up on our third year for this online event I’m reminded on all the incredible lifelong relationships I’ve developed just from having the courage to step out and do something UNCOMMON.

We are JUST scratching the surface and I wanted to reflect on a few of the great conversations I’ve had on The Burn Podcast over the last season and bring a few of those greatest moments forward in a special episode of the podcast today. Each of the guests in this episode will be speaking at this year’s Mental Toughness Forum and I can’t WAIT to see what they bring to their online stage.

Go watch this special episode on Youtube or wherever YOU get your podcasts.

You’ll get messages from:

@Jongordon11

@drgabriellelyon

@coachvanmalone

@angiewisdomlifecoach

@erikrocklol

Thank you to each of YOU for your relationship and commitment to helping IMPACT the world through our online event.

Register if you haven’t already, it’s completely free to attend. 

www.mentaltoughnessforum.com

https://www.bennewmancoaching.com

************************************

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to this week's episode of the Burn. I am Ben Newman and you know how we do this. Every single week we bring you the story of an athlete, an entertainer, a celebrity, somebody from the business world, somebody who shows and proves to us that why and purpose is not enough. There's an underlying burn that ignites your why and purpose and causes you to show up on the days you don't feel like it and especially after you win. But sometimes we have very special episodes and this week's episode is one of those special episodes where, once again, we are going to highlight our upcoming mental toughness forum. You know, I continue to find and it just beats me up sometimes and then it just makes me want to fight that much harder for all of you so we can all win more together. It beats me up when I see people choosing to wait on the sidelines to see what's going to happen with the markets, to see what's going to happen with the presidential race, for the media to give them permission that things are going well. It's why we started the Mental Toughness Forum three years ago. It's why this will be our third Mental Toughness Forum, because it's an opportunity for us all to continue to learn and attack together. It doesn't cost anything, it just takes your time to lock in with these 40 individuals.

Speaker 1:

From august 5th through the 9th, eight speakers a day, 9 am central. We will drop the links of the daily speakers. We have amazing sponsors that you do not want to miss, from first form to transcend to go ruck. It's amazing the individuals we've been able to partner with for this year's event game changer publishing. So we are pulling out all the stops this year. We've got Tim Tebow, we've got Phil Heath, we've got Dr Gabrielle Lyon, we've got Jim Gottlieb We've got Phil Heath, we've got Dr Gabrielle Lyon, we've got Jim Gottlieb, we've got Coach Stormy, we've got Emily Ford, we've got Javon Holland. This is going to be an incredible Mental Toughness Forum.

Speaker 1:

So enjoy this episode of the Burn, but make sure that you share mentaltoughnessforumcom with those you love and care about, to go on this journey with you to be part of this free virtual online summit. This is one of the largest online summits in the world every single year. This year, we anticipate for the first time we'll cross over having over a hundred thousand people participate, from them signing up, sharing throughout the week and being impacted. In this fight. We're all in together. I appreciate every single one of you enjoy this week's episode of the burn. That highlights the amazing mental toughness forum from august 5th the 9th. Make sure to sign up for free. Share it with others at mentaltoughnessforumcom.

Speaker 2:

And I totally agree with you the two most precious things you own, from my perspective, are your emotions and your health. Without those two things, money does nothing. For me, that's just a byproduct, which we've talked about. It's a byproduct of what I'm really after and for me, I'm a very obsessed human. Everything I do I obsess over almost to a fault, and for so much of my life I was told that it's not okay. People would look at some of my instincts and try to silence them or kind of contain them, get them smaller, and I was felt like I was my whole life.

Speaker 2:

I was fighting for something I've never met my biological father. He abandoned my mother when, when she was pregnant with me and she was just a kid herself at a very young age the teenager, I think she might have been 19. So I grew up in the world with no father and it's really important to have, I think, that male figure in your life, undeniable. I did have a stepdad, who I'm very grateful for, who entered my life when I was a young kid, but he was not easy to be around. It was a hard existence as a child for me, but I'm actually very grateful for it now. Nothing was handed to me. It was a hard existence as a child for me, but I'm actually very grateful for it now. Nothing was handed to me. Everything was a fight, a literal fight as a child, and when you're a child and you're working for something I was I was working for something at a very young age. It instilled these neural pathways, I think, in my mindset that just made me stay in the pain longer than the next guy. Wherever your pain comes from in life, mine happened to come from a lot of these childhood experiences in myself, even though I still will say I'm blessed and was grateful because there were so many kids that had it worse but sort of wanting to be seen and wanting to be loved.

Speaker 2:

Just the fight for that alone created an excellence in me and a standard in me at a young age. That was just rare, it wasn't common. I was obsessively clean. I wanted everything to be perfect. I was a straight-A student, even though I wouldn't say I was that smart. I found ways to get the best, even at a young age. Best grades, I always found a way to get the best of whatever, and through high school, even on. But that obsessive trait went the wrong direction for a while, even on. But that obsessive trait went the wrong direction for a while. But it was instilled in me at a young age because I was fighting for something that a lot of the kids around me weren't fighting for.

Speaker 3:

Man, this game is a simple game, right, this is a simple game, but it also is played by a whole lot of different people, right, coming from a whole lot of different directions. And so what you have to do as a coach and as a leader of a group, right, coming from a whole lot of different directions. And so what you have to do as a coach and as a leader of a group, right, you have to make sure that they're all on the same. They're on the same wave. We've got all your bodies on the same channel, you know what I mean, and not necessarily the same channel of cover three or the same channel of 27 power, but that we're all on the same mindset.

Speaker 3:

We're all thinking about being uncommon, we're all thinking about understanding. It's one play at a time, it's six seconds of play. It's you understanding, as a player, that I have great confidence in you and that you ought to have great confidence in your teammate and that we all ought to have great confidence in the work that we've put in. And so, listen again, as coaches, we can get into the scheme, and the scheme is is vital, right, but guess what? Everybody has scheme. You know what I mean. Everybody has scheme, but when, when you have your players where they are locked in and they'll run through a brick wall sometimes, man, sometimes, that is the winning edge.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, and I think what you have said before too, is like that. You talk about the burn being that first thing you think of. You know, or you see it on your alarm and you are not going to turn away from it. It on your alarm and you are not going to turn away from it, you are not going to hit that snooze button and it truly is that burn. I will not be overweight and unhealthy like my mother. I will not do all these things. That's the burn.

Speaker 4:

But the why is because I have been gifted to help people change their lives and I love to do that. I mean selfishly. I love to be a part of somebody's journey. I love someone seeing that they are capable of something they never thought they were capable of before and that, you know that becomes a why for me. That is my purpose, that is why I'm here, including being able to give that to my kids for to role model that, to show them. You know, what I'm doing every single day is changing my life, is affecting their life, is affecting other people's lives. So the why is different, you know, than the burn One feels. It's funny the way you say it like the burn actually feels different. It is literally a burn, and not always the pleasant burn for me, but the why is a little bit more inspirational and it's kind of like the stars lighting up for me, but the why is a little bit more inspirational and it's kind of like the stars lighting up for me.

Speaker 1:

I love it. It makes me think of a word that I've really focused on for about the past 90 days, and you really dive deep in your book with this word and I'd like to go there with you because I think what you're articulating for us clearly understanding that burn, clearly understanding the difference with the why and the purpose. There's a level of awareness that you show up with in your life and in the book you really go deep into the importance of us having awareness in our lives. Why is awareness so important?

Speaker 4:

You cannot change what you don't see.

Speaker 6:

Privilege of seeing thousands of patients. Like I mentioned, I've been in practice. I've been practicing medicine since 2006. And that has allowed me to see a whole scope of different individuals and also to see what makes people become massive assets in their own life. And when you think about that, you have to think that there's really two ways that our health goes. One way is that it happens to us. Right, it just happens. You get older, you lose muscle versus you execute, execute, execute. You do the harder thing.

Speaker 6:

We realize that we live in an environment that is constantly fighting against us. It's true, we live in a hyper palatable environment. There's cookies, there's cakes, there's elevators, there's escalators, whatever it is and we're living in an environment that is slowly going to deteriorate our health and our brain. That's exactly what happened to Betsy. Betsy had constantly struggled on that treadmill like the hamster wheel of life of trying to figure out the next fad diet, the next thing to do which, by the way, is a distraction, all of the other things out there. It's all distraction as opposed to like I know you just completed 75 hard as opposed to executing. Here is your plan. Nothing is going to deter me from my plan. I understand what I need to do and I'm going to execute, execute, execute. Everything else is an excuse.

Speaker 1:

Understand what I need to do and I'm going to execute, execute, execute. Everything else is an excuse. So the thing to me, and it's the excuses that get in the way, and that is what is so fascinating and so brilliant I tell Andy this all the time about the 75 hard program and then you know to have the app. I mean, every time you click, like you did your workout, it is a endorphin shot, it is a dopamine shot and it is like I did what I said I was going to do and you know that like I'm not hitting that button Cause if I, if I miss hitting that button, I go all the way back to zero.

Speaker 1:

And some people, when they understand that's how you create disciplines. It's stacking those habits on top of each other. You almost become obsessed to those dopamine hits and those and it feels so good and you're not going to quit on yourself. I always say and I joke with Andy I'm like isn't it crazy that people could follow through with this program and then go to their job and not do the most basic things because they don't have to click the button on the app? And it is just. It's mind blowing to me how people build their behaviors and their disciplines.

Speaker 5:

A lot of confidence, like when you're in the zone moment. You're feeling the zone, you're experiencing the zone. That is the ultimate high state of mind experience. So we have low states and high states. So when a circumstance happens in your life, if you're in a low state of mind, it bothers you. The same circumstance can happen and if you're high state, it doesn't. You rise above, you move on. You get the rejection and sales. In a low state, you're now questioning, you're thinking, you think something's wrong. You're saying my career's over, I'll never hit my numbers. In those days when you're in a high state you're like oh, I got a rejection, all right, next call, I got this.

Speaker 5:

It's going to happen as an athlete. You're in a low state of mind and you make a mistake. You're now thinking about that mistake, revved up, thought more clutter. You get a lower and lower state of mind. If you're in a high state, you make the mistake. You're like, all right, next play, I got this. And so it's never the circumstance, it's never the event that's happening. We often look at the event and we think the event has power over us. The truth is, we have power over our circumstance because our state of mind will determine how we respond in that circumstance. We've often heard about. You know, respond to the events in your life. E plus R equals O or E plus P equals O is the formula I use, but really it's our state of mind that determines how we respond. So once you understand this and you realize, okay, I'm on the rollercoaster of life. I'm on the rollercoaster of thought. There are going to be ebbs and flows of low states and high states. So the key is when your player is at a low state, or that salesperson's at a low state, or you're a leader and you get a team member, or you're at home and you're at kids. By the way, if your kids are in a low state, you do not want to be in a low state with them.

Speaker 5:

Low state and low state do not work. Coaching staffs hey, coach, you have to be in a high state to deal with a low state player. I was zooming with the Cowboys teaching this whole thing that's in the book now to the Cowboys coaching staff and they said John, how do we help our players get to a high state of mind? I said you've got to get to a high state of mind. When you're in a higher state, you'll help your players be in a higher state Going back. You're going to be on this roller coaster. You're going to have the ebbs and flows, and when you're in that low state and you feel like you're going down this roller coaster, you want to jump off often and the key is to not jump off, to realize there's going to be ebbs and flows of low states and high states, but when you're in that low state, nothing's wrong, nothing's broken. Stop thinking something's wrong, just stay on the roller coaster. And so often we ride the wave back up to a higher state of mind.

Speaker 5:

And book one within the book explains a lot of that, as well as how to elevate your state of mind and also what caused your state of mind to go down and the negative thoughts and that's the big thing, ben, as you know, and also what caused your state of mind to go down and the negative thoughts and that's the big thing, ben, as you know, so many people don't realize how negative thoughts affect them and make them feel, and this explains it.

Speaker 5:

And this gives visuals and once you see it, you can't unsee it. What I love about this is it helps so many athletes the ones I've shared this with the coaches. I shared this with all last year. I never had more conversations that I've had since sharing these ideas, and I want to give credit to this guy, garrett Kramer, who actually taught me about low state, of high state of mind. He's the one who taught me about the clutter and the clarity, and once I saw it, it really helped me and I was able to teach others. What I've been able to also explain is how this all ties into the one truth and how low state actually has to do with separateness and high state has to do with oneness, which we'll get to, I'm sure, later in the talk.

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