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Episode #85 ~ The Art of Analogy: Enhancing Coaching Wisdom with guest, Alan Heymann

• Garry Schleifer

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Unlock the transformative power of analogies with Alan Heymann, an author and coach whose expertise in public, government, and nonprofit communications, combined with his PCC and a JAD law degree, has culminated in his latest work, "Don't Just Have the Soup." As Alan takes the mic alongside me, Garry Schleifer, we journey through a year's worth of wisdom distilled into 52 clever analogies, each one a beacon guiding listeners through the intricate dance of introspection and self-improvement. Together, we peel back the layers of Alan's analogical approach, revealing how such comparisons not only shed light on coaching techniques but also resonate deeply with introverts striving to thrive in an extrovert-dominated world.

During this engaging chat, we're privy to the creative process behind Alan's book, including the delightful touch his wife added with her illustrations, making it a true family affair. The conversation takes us from the comical tale of a president and his laundry to the profound implications of a smoke alarm's interruption during a coaching session, emphasizing the importance of heeding life's unexpected warnings. This episode is a treasure trove of insights, where personal stories intertwine with the core competencies of coaching, proving that analogies are not just linguistic flourishes but vital instruments for growth and reframing. So tune in and let us escort you through an auditory experience where coaching wisdom meets the allure of a good story, thanks to Alan's remarkable contributions on this edition of the choice Magazine podcast, Beyond the Page.

Watch the full interview by clicking here

Find the full article here: https://bit.ly/BTP-AH2024

Learn more about Alan Heymann.

Grab your free issue of choice Magazine here - https://choice-online.com/

In this episode, I talk with Alan Heymann about his article published in our December 2023 issue.

Garry Schleifer:

Welcome to the choice Magazine podcast, Beyond the Page. choice, the magazine of professional coaching, is your go-to source for expert insights and in-depth features from the world of professional coaching. I'm your host, Garry Schleifer, and I'm thrilled to have you join us today. In each episode, we go beyond the page of articles published in choice Magazine and dive deeper into some of the most recent and relevant topics impacting the world of professional coaching, exploring the content, interviewing the talented minds like Alan's behind these amazing articles, in particular his, and uncovering the stories that make an impact.

Garry Schleifer:

choice is more than a magazine. For over 21 years, we've built a community of like-minded people who create, use and share coaching tools, tips and techniques to add value to their business and, of course, make a difference and impact their clients. That's what we're doing it for. In today's episode, I'm speaking with author and coach Alan Heymann, who is the author of an article in our latest issue "Neuroscience and Coaching Separating Myth from Reality Tongue twister. His article is entitled Don't Just have the Suit how Analogies Support Coaching." Little bit about Alan. He has a JD, and has that got something to do with journalism?

Alan Heymann:

It's a law degree.

Garry Schleifer:

A law degree. Oh my goodness, w ay out in left field. Okay, a JD, is also a PCC and has a knack for coaching fellow introverts, helping them find their superpowers in an extroverted world. He also specializes in coaching through transitions. To date, Alan has coached leaders who work on five continents and were born in 26 countries. I love how you're keeping track of this stuff. I keep track of hours. He keeps track of where they're born. His clients expand corporations including Fortune 550, nonprofit organizations, public utilities and federal, county and municipal governments. Alan is the author of the book, guess what it's over his shoulder there, "on't Just have the Soup. 52 analogies for leadership, coaching and life." Like that part. Before becoming a coach, he spent more than two decades in public government and non-profit communications leading teams from two to more than 100 people. Alan, thank you so much for joining me today.

Alan Heymann:

Thank you, Garry. It's great to be here, and that intro made me sound so good. It's almost like I wrote it or something.

Garry Schleifer:

Yeah, you know, and it does sound good, and a law degree. How did that come about?

Alan Heymann:

You know, what I like to tell folks is that I got to a point in my career where I felt like something graduate level would have been helpful, and the only more time-consuming, more expensive endeavor that I could think of would have been to go because I never had a knack for the sciences.

Alan Heymann:

And, all that being said, you know, as a night student in law school, you learn a lot, you meet a lot of interesting people. So I'm grateful for having had the experience, even though I never did practice law.

Garry Schleifer:

I love it. I love it. Second most difficult and most expensive. There's an analogy in there somewhere. So how did you land upon this topic for yourself about analogies. What drove that?

Alan Heymann:

I think it kind of found me in a way. So what I noticed often in my coaching sessions, just one on one with my clients, is that analogies would enter the picture and sometimes they'd be telling a story and it would just pop into my mind. Sometimes it would be their analogy that came into the conversation, or sometimes three weeks after the session, I thought, oh, that reminds me of that thing.

Alan Heymann:

So I started jotting them down and I put together a few blog posts on my website. They seemed to be fairly well received and after a while I realized this was happening so often that I began to amass kind of a collection of these things and the collection, back in 2021, became a book. So I put together 52 analogies, one for every week of the year. My wife, Lindy Russell Heyman, who's a very talented art teacher and typically has had very little to do with what I do for a living, did the illustrations for the book. So one handcrafted illustration for each analogy.

Garry Schleifer:

Wow, that is awesome. Okay, kick me. It just dawned on me 52 weeks of the year, of course. That's why you did 52. Your next book 365 analogies.

Alan Heymann:

It will take longer to assemble them.

Garry Schleifer:

So you spoke about a few analogies that you use and their impact, but tell me some more. Tell me a fresh analogy, how it worked, what was the impact on a client?

Alan Heymann:

Absolutely and keep in mind, sometimes it's not the direct impact on the client, it's the impact on me as a coach. What is this telling me about myself? Or what is this telling me about my ability to relate to clients? And, as a matter of fact, as we're recording this conversation, this very morning I posted a new one to my blog, and it actually came about in the middle of a coaching session that I had several weeks ago with a client. So we're having a conversation, conversation is going well, she's developing some insights, she's gaining some new perspective on the situation that she's finding herself in at work, which is what we always hope for as coaches and what happens here in my home office in the great state of Maryland.

Alan Heymann:

But the smoke alarm goes off right in the middle of the session. I mean, these things are loud even if you're not sitting right next to them, which I was and it just took me completely out of concentration and out of presence and was disruptive to the client. And I paused, excused myself, took the smoke alarm down the hall and out the door and put it out of ear shot, and we eventually re-centered and the thing is, I know there's no fire in my house. I know that even though my home office is directly below my kitchen, there wasn't even any smoke because I'm home by myself. I'm not cooking like it's not a thing.

Alan Heymann:

But I realized something in that moment, which is that sometimes we need to pay attention to our own internal smoke alarms and what they might be telling us, and we need to wonder whether there's an issue with the warning system or whether it's warning us about something of substance.

Alan Heymann:

So bringing this into a client context I think our clients, when they're in leadership, get warning signs of all kinds all the time if they're keen enough to kind of tap into them.

Alan Heymann:

As in we have somebody we hired for a position who's underperforming. Let's think about what that means. Let's bring some curiosity into the situation and kind of assess what the smoke alarm is telling us in that moment, rather than jumping into conclusions or going punitive on that person or trying to have some sort of self recrimination for having hired the wrong person. What's actually going on here? Bring curiosity into the situation, understand what the warning light or the smoke alarm is warning you about. So that was kind of my analogous understanding of what just happened randomly in that middle of that coaching session, which could have been rather embarrassing. It could have been rather disruptive. It was a little bit of both of those things, but it ended up being somewhat of a teachable moment and I think a lot of the analogies that are right about it are. That's great.

Garry Schleifer:

It reminds me of my coach training and the level three listening and bringing that into the conversation. You don't hear people talk about that too much anymore. Maybe that's a little too woo, woo, I don't know. But definitely that came up for me and I tend to do that. I live in a condo building. We have these fire alarms way too often but I've used things like that that something enters into their space, something enters into my space, noise physically, whatever, right, and I use that, as you said, a teaching moment and opportunity to forward the conversation.

Garry Schleifer:

I had to chuckle when you wrote the story in the in the article about your daughter and the President not doing his laundry. I thought that was hysterical and just goes to show you that when you say, not just about coaching but also about life, the title of your book and it was a great moment that made me laugh and made me think how can I use this? So, Alan, you were coaching through the article.

Alan Heymann:

Thank you, no, I appreciate that and you know, a lot of times those analogies come up in parenting, they come up in in partnership, they come up in friendship and it's amazing. I hear the stories of how people find something to relate to in almost every single one of them it's. It's been great.

Garry Schleifer:

Yeah, and I want to thank you too for connecting the dots between analogies and the core competencies. I just feel that the core competencies are this clear and fluid and living entities and I almost picture them like behind me and strings are attached to me. Have ever seen that and you move this finger and this thing pulls and you move finger and it's like puppetry, if you will. I'm seeing it as, bring them into the conversation as tools, and now I don't use analogies way enough, so I look forward to getting your book and starting to pick an analogy a week and and using them in my coaching.

Alan Heymann:

Absolutely. And just keep in mind what we're really doing is we're helping our clients reframe. T o me, that's the bottom line. So analogies are a tool for that. I recently got certified in Lego Serious Play, which is something I can use with groups now for facilitation. That's another tool for reframing. Folks have come to us because they've been very successful in the past, thinking and doing in a certain way, and now, for whatever reason, it's not working. So what do we do? We scramble the frame for them, and analogies, I find, are a great way to do that, but they're far from the only way.

Garry Schleifer:

No, definitely not, and you refer to that too, and I don't know if you consider them the same. Do you consider analogies and stories the same? They can be. They can be.

Alan Heymann:

Absolutely. As you know from all of your work, we human beings are master storytellers. We're great at it, and sometimes the work is to get the client into a story and sometimes the work is to get them out of one.

Garry Schleifer:

Yeah and in your article you've given some coaching prompts. So you know you've referenced, for example, a section called Don't Just have the Soup, and you tell the story and you offer coaching prompts.

Alan Heymann:

So I advise our listeners and our readers to get a copy of the issue or the article and see for yourself ways that you can play with analogies and laugh at Alan's stories. Not Alan, but at his stories. One of my favorite things actually is, if I'm going over some of the material from the book or the article, is to ask other coaches for their prompts that they might bring into their client work from this, because it ends up a little bit different depending on your life experience, your culture of origin, but everybody can find a little something in there, for sure.

Garry Schleifer:

Yes, put your mask on before helping others. I read that in your article and it's interesting because, I mean, the majority of people have either flown or seen that safety instruction, or seen it in a movie or whatever. So it crosses cultures. But, as you said in your article in the very last paragraph, remember to keep it simple, especially if you're coaching across cultures, languages or generations.

Alan Heymann:

True, and you may survey a different audience in a different part of the world and come up with an entirely different set of analogies that works. So they have to be relatable, first and foremost, and I think that requires a certain amount of you know, paying attention to who you're in front of when you're when you're telling the story or when they're telling their story as well.

Garry Schleifer:

It was funny you should say that. I was in a group supervision. So we're being supervised in a group, not a course, but the actual coaching one of the people said, "and I put a pin in it" yes, and I know that not necessarily an analogy, but it's certainly something that generates thought and it was interesting because one of us thought about it as putting a pin in a balloon and breaking the situation, whereas the rest of us thought is parking the situation.

Garry Schleifer:

You know put a pin in it and we will come back to it. Yeah, so it's interesting and it goes to your point about cultures and generations and languages.

Alan Heymann:

Yeah, and to me that's a perfect opportunity for that classic oh, what do you mean by that? Or tell me more, and hopefully you can get a little bit more understanding of the situation before the misunderstanding spreads farther than it needs to.

Garry Schleifer:

Nothing worse than coaching a Gen X and bringing up eight-track tapes. It's like when you put an eight-track tape in your old '68 cougar. It just doesn't work people.

Alan Heymann:

It's true. Now, that being said, things are cyclical and the 90s are hot again, and, as a person of a certain age myself, I'm fond of saying now I'm old enough to say such and such a thing, and if you get nods in recognition then you know you're on the right track.

Garry Schleifer:

Yeah yeah, exactly, exactly. I just can't help but reference your article because you're a funny guy. You said, and it goes back to analogies, they're simple and I'm gonna quote you. "In our ever complex world, we coaches tend to reach for intricate frameworks to apply to what our clients are facing. Examples of adult development, polarities, VUCA and other models being blown in the toolbox. But they're not the only tools. Coaching can also be about toothpaste, transportation, and topiary."

Garry Schleifer:

Even just those three in one sentence is never gonna happen again in the pages of choice, I would expect. Thank you, thank you for the lightness of being.

Alan Heymann:

We do love a little alliteration from time to time, don't we?

Garry Schleifer:

We do, we do. It's amazing. What's next for you in analogies? I suggested a 365, but you backed away from that. But no, what's next for you in this work?

Alan Heymann:

Yeah, I think there's a couple of ideas. One is that it's out there, people can grab it, it's available wherever books are sold and I expect it'll be around for a long time. Another is that, as you might imagine, the work didn't exactly end when the book went to print, in that I had a few things that didn't quite make it in the first time. I've developed a few more, like the one I told you about earlier just now, and these things have a way of now finding me and that you know feedback comes in conferences and emails and that sort of thing. I wouldn't be surprised to see a second anthology turn up at some point in the not too distant future. Not ready quite yet to commit to publication dates and whatnot, but it may be coming because I think the first one went better than I expected and there could be more. That being said, I've given talks about this at conferences of coaches.

Alan Heymann:

Matter of fact, at ICF Midwest in Milwaukee a couple of years ago, I met you in the elevator when I was at the presentation, and so I'm always looking for opportunities to take this material on the road, especially in front of other coaches, because that's kind of like a fun, comfortable space to talk about it.

Garry Schleifer:

Yeah, well, we all understand them and, like you said in your article, it's a core competency. It's literally listed, wasn't it? It listed as analogy. Core competency number seven evokes awareness states, facilitates client insight and learning by using tools and techniques such as powerful questions, silence, metaphor or analogy. I love that. Oh, I don't know. Are you stuck on metaphor, what about? Or on analogies? What about metaphors?

Alan Heymann:

It's all powerful stuff and it's all related. So you might even pick up an analogy or two in my book and say, you know, that might be more like a metaphor and you could be right. You know some people use them interchangeably.

Garry Schleifer:

Well said, well said. A lan, delightful, delightful. What would you like our audience to do as a result of the article and this conversation?

Alan Heymann:

I could imagine a few things, one being you know, open up to the possibility of using analogies in your own practice. You probably have a few, and whenever I'm in front of a group I say, hey, what are some of your favorite analogies that you've used with clients? and I never get silence. So you know that's out there. And two, the book is available wherever books are sold, whether that's brick and mortar or online. You can go to thesoupbook. com and find it there, and I'd love to hear from you, thesoupbookcom. Thank you, I'd love to hear what you think you know. Tell me your stories of how this works in your practice or how it doesn't, or even you know if you're looking for something to present to the leaders in your life that have made an impact. This is good stuff to keep around the coffee table.

Garry Schleifer:

That's true too. What a good idea. This is a client gift.

Alan Heymann:

My clients all get them, of course.

Garry Schleifer:

Of course they do. There's my business card. It's like me and choice Magazine. I've got my business card. It's eight and a half by eleven, 52 pages in color. Yes, what's the name of your blog?

Alan Heymann:

Sure. So my coaching practice is Peaceful Direction, and on my website, peacefuldirection. com, you will find a blog called Peaceful Reflections.

Garry Schleifer:

Oh, lovely, awesome, and if somebody wants to reach you, they can do it through that website, or do you have an easier way?

Alan Heymann:

There's a contact form on the website. I also spend a fair amount of time on LinkedIn, so it's pretty easy to find me there as well.

Garry Schleifer:

Awesome, awesome. Alan, thank you so much for joining us for this Beyond the Page episode.

Alan Heymann:

I'm delighted to have the opportunity for both this and to be in the magazine. I've been a reader for several years and I'm of the generation who's impressed by print and seeing your name in print because that's how I started my career, so it's kind of like a return to form for me. Oh, thank you.

Garry Schleifer:

Well, we love doing it. And didn't you love the cover on that one? It makes you want to tear it right open. Right, exactly. Thanks Alan. That's it for this episode of Beyond the Page. For more episodes, subscribe to your favorite podcast app, as you did to get to this one. If you're not a subscriber, you can sign up for your free digital issue of choice Magazine by going to choice-online. com and clicking the sign up now button. I'm Garry Schleifer. Enjoy the journey of mastery. Thanks, Alan. Thank you.