The Emmerance's Podcast

Singleness Series (7): Cultivating Wholeness Outside of Relationships

• Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala • Season 3 • Episode 77

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Welcome to The Emmerance's Podcast, where empowerment meets introspection. Join your host, Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala, on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. In this enlightening episode, Emmerance concludes her insightful Singleness Series, delving into the depths of self-realization and seizing the blessings of solitude.

Throughout the series, Emmerance has shared invaluable wisdom, urging listeners to embrace their singleness as a time for growth, reflection, and personal development. From exploring one's values to understanding the importance of conscious decision-making, each episode has been a beacon of inspiration for those navigating the single life.

In this finale, Emmerance encapsulates the essence of her message, emphasizing the power of choice and the pursuit of individual fulfillment. Drawing from her own experiences and journey, she imparts practical advice on harnessing the potential of singleness to pave the way for a fulfilling future.

But the conversation doesn't end there. Emmerance provides a glimpse into what lies ahead, hinting at future episodes where she'll delve into the dynamics of relationships and the nuances of personal growth within partnerships.

So whether you're single, in a relationship, or simply seeking guidance on your journey towards self-discovery, tune in to The Emmerance's Podcast and unlock the secrets to embracing your true potential. Remember, self-first isn't selfish—it's the first step towards unlocking your greatness.

Freebie promotion: Grab the free Ebook The Beauty of Self-Love: How to Find Love In Your Singleness. http://emmerance.com/free-ebook

Get notified: The Emmerance's Podcast Newsletter!

About Emmerance:

Emmerance Victoria Odia Ndala is a Self-Empowerment Coach, personal development blogger and Transformational speaker. She has been helping people with their self-love and personal development journey by being their coach or accountability partner.

If you have any questions, contact Emmerance @TheEmmerance or email Victoria@Emmerance.com.

Instagram: @TheEmmerance

Website: Emmerance.com

Music Credits: @sakionthebeat

Speaker 1:

I just feel like we should all be conscious and taking the moment. Even if you're married but you're still in your 20s and you have kids, listen, you still have lots of potentials. Don't let anyone bring you down. You have your goals, you have your vision. Don't let it down.

Speaker 1:

This is the Emirates podcast, where we empower you to choose yourself, because there's no other human being that's more important in this world than you. This might sound selfish, but it's not. If you believe that choosing yourself is selfish, then I want you to know that self first isn't selfish, and I will tell you why. Hi guys, welcome back to another episode of the emirates podcast. I'm your host, emirates, victoria odandala, and oh, this is the last episode of the singleness series and this is part seven, as planned. Now, I think this was a good idea. I think I did well. I did not know back in the day that I would be sharing this in my own podcast, this in my own podcast. I just hope that the little you know advice, quick advice that you received helped you in a way that you probably needed, and if you found these super helpful, or if you just know someone that really needs to tap into their singleness and know more about how, to you know, handle themselves when they're single. Hey, it is free. You can share with someone and let them know that they're literally the center of their universe and they can do anything they set their mind to when they finally decide that it is time. All so, as usual, I am going to start the recording soon and then I'll catch you guys after the recording, all right, hey guys.

Speaker 1:

Oh, today is the seventh day, we are the 3rd of march 2019, and I just want you guys, I want you guys to know that I did not even plan to, I didn't even know that I was gonna keep doing this, and I think I'm gonna start doing this every day. Just, you know, talking about every different topic that can help me. You know, write my blog, um. So, on this singleness end, I just want to make a nice conclusion and a few tips in here. You know, write my blog. So, on this singleness end, I just want to make a nice conclusion and a few tips in here. You know, because we've been going through these seven days, um, just knowing exactly how blessed it is to be single, how you are blessed to actually have this moment of thoughts of you know I need to get to know myself, I need to know why I'm on, what the frig on earth am I here for you know? So the day one, we talked about values and what it is actually like how to get to know yourself and questions to ask yourself. Second episode we talked about my personal experience, actually, and I give you a few tips and tricks on things to do when single, which actually opened up for the next three days that followed it, which is mental, spiritual and physical.

Speaker 1:

So the mental, um side, when you're single, you have to be conscious, you have to make conscious decisions. You have responsibilities financial responsibilities, physical responsibilities. What are you going to do with yourself? You have to take care of yourself. That's, no, your number. Yeah, that should be your number one, number one priority when you're single, you have to be able to take care of yourself and get to know yourself better.

Speaker 1:

The spirituality is actually when you get to know yourself. You have to ask yourself why the frig am I on earth? What on earth am I here for? You have to help yourself know your values and your future. You have to know, um, what are my values when you get to know your, why, exactly who you want to be, even if it's not as defined, because that question is so, um, abstract. You don't really see it exactly, but you feel it, you know it. It seems unreal because, of course, everything that we feel deeply inside of us is unreal. We think that we cannot dream big, like if you think that you're gonna be the same next Beyonce girl. You can become the next Beyonce, no matter where you are from, no matter where you live too. Just know that everything will come where your mind is, and that's what brings us to the physical side, which you have to have a prototype, you have to have a vision, you have to know where you're going. Of course, we all know that God already has a plan for us and stuff like that, but what tells you that God does not have the same plan as you do? You know everything will lead in the promised land, as long as your goal is not to turn this earth apart, to lie or things like that. You have to be real, and God will be real with you too.

Speaker 1:

On the sixth day, I talked to you guys about the reality of when you're facing this consciousness, you're making conscious decisions. You will see that there's a lot of things that are not for you. If you feel like clubbing, for example, it's not that clubbing is bad, but it depends, like everything that you know. If you abuse something, of course it's bad, but at the end of the day, let's just take clubbing, for example. So you see that, oh, you know, clubbing is not your thing and you want to stop that, but you have All your friends that likes the club every freaking weekend. Of course you have to choose who.

Speaker 1:

What is your priority? Is it your goals? Is it the fact that you want to take advantage of the singleness, so that you don't turn like 29 and start thinking about this and you actually take your stuff and you're like friends? I have to change. I have to get a new entourage. I have to get new friends, new group, new network, people that sees the life the same way that I see it. So basically, that's what it is when you are single.

Speaker 1:

Those are the things that you have to think about, and when you start thinking about it, you will see that there's going to be a drastic change, and me, I made that change in like a year or two. Actually, it's almost two years that I've made that change and it's been a great journey. Guys, I am very happy about myself. I'm pretty proud because there was a lot of sacrifices and a lot of things that I had to implement in my life, and it's not easy, of course, but it takes courage, not just motivation, but you have to be willing, you have to see the picture that you see and where that's bringing you Like. I know that I'm not even close to where I want to be, but I don't want to be sharing this when I'm 80 and seeing my fellows stuck right. I just feel like we should all be conscious and taking the moment.

Speaker 1:

Even if you're married but you're still in your 20s and you have kids Listen, you still have lots of potentials. Don't let anyone bring you down. You have your goals. You of potentials. Don't let anyone bring you down. You have your goals. You have your vision. Don't let it down. Even if you have a husband, even if you're having troubles in your life, just know that those things will pass, because time is passing and we're going fast.

Speaker 1:

I think that I've been talking to y'all since day one to today. I feel like I'm talking to y'all as a day. That's how crazy it is, because the time, the day, is going so fast. I go to work, I come back home, I do my thing, I write down my stuff, I read, and all these things are just going so fast and I don't even know where we're going. But I know where I'm going because I have my picture, my vision, my whole thing laid down. You know, like I love listening to, to relationship stuff. I love listening to steve harvey, I love listening to eckhart tolle, I love listening to oprah.

Speaker 1:

I know that people have many, many different vision. Just find yours. Just find yours and don't judge other people. Don't judge them for what they're doing. If they're not cautious, they will be conscious one day, but it's not your problem. It's not your duty to wake them up. It's not my duty to make you up, to wake you up, but what I'm trying to do is make you realize that this is the real deal. Like we need to stop going with the crowd. We need to have our own crowd, and that crowd can only be you or two or three people with you, as long as it goes, as long as you guys are seeing the same vision, and that's why it's good to have a few pips that you can talk to and discuss about all these things and actually go on Instagram and you can meet cool people there and stuff like that, and it's nice.

Speaker 1:

You know Me, I'm very stressed over the fact that we need to change. You need to take that time and that blessing that you have, because singleness matter. That's why I am just letting you know First, if you are really single, if you don't have a man, if you don't have a woman, if you don't have kids, you don't have responsibilities. If you're really, really single, I am telling you that you are blessed, you are very lucky and you should take advantage of it and really lead your life a good way, because where you're going will bring every little people that I'm talking about husband or wife, kids. They will come when the time comes. Now take your time, because it's a blessing to be single. Okay, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Speaker 1:

I said a lot and I did a resume of everything that I spoke about, but I don't think that I even spoke about those things. Anyways, you guys are the ones that are listening to it. I am listening to it too, but I think that I did not even talk about those things like that in the previous series. Anyways, congrats to me. I am very, very proud of myself. I'm very like super elated right now. I'm happy, it really brings joy to see that I was able to record myself and a few years later I'm re-listening to it and I can only be proud of myself because I am the person. Really, if you're gonna meet me and I'm not bragging, but I stand on what I talk and when I give you advice is because I already did it. I'm not gonna give you anything that I haven't tried and if I do, it's probably because I am referring you to a book and you know, I'm just I'm just thinking about it but like, yeah, yeah, yeah, what, yeah, what I said. I stand on that.

Speaker 1:

When you are single, you don't understand the the beautiful thing, right? Like I said, you don't have kids, you don't have someone that depends on you to do something. And when you're single, when I moved to Vancouver and I saw that I had a bunch of opportunities the reason why I didn't stay single for too long was because I was ready, and I was ready to learn more about myself within a relationship. And this is what I'm doing right now. Once I am in a better place within my romantic relationship, I'm going to bring my boyfriend along here and we're going to talk about the challenges that we faced and maybe it's going to help you kind of figure out if you're still single figure out what's going on and how you're going to handle your own um, you know, arguments within your relationship or, um, if you are in a relationship, how can you also do better? Because right now, um, I'm gonna keep it real with you guys I am going through counseling um with my boyfriend and I was kind of closed off about that idea for a long time, but I think it will.

Speaker 1:

It's really beautiful because I was not comfortable talking to his side and I don't feel comfortable with us talking about our issues with my side. So I believe that you know, counseling does not just happen when things are really bad. Um, it should, it should be something that's normal. Um, if you need someone to just mediate and mediate, mediate anyways, to just be there, non-judgmental and professional, someone that will actually talk to you and talk to you both and not have any sides, right, because you're only human, it is normal you're going to get, you know, choose a side and stuff. But I love talking to someone that doesn't have a side and doesn't blame anyone and just looks and talks to you, to us, in, like just as if we're both equal and there's no like oh, I liked him better, so I'm gonna back you know.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, if I was single today, I think I would stack up my money. If you live in Canada, I know how inflation is crazy. But if I was, if I'm a man and I'm, if I were a man and I was single today, I would probably not date until I actually reach my money goal. And if I do date, then I need to be very clear on where I am at and where I want to be and make sure that the person is okay with that, because women listen if you're a man listening to this, we are materialistic.

Speaker 1:

Okay, we want money, we want to be taken care of, like financially, you paying the bills, being, you know, on your shit, like you need to know that. We want someone that's responsible. We want someone that's going to pay us stuff. You know, buy us our wigs, pay for our nails, do all that. But in order for a man to do that, you have to have your money straight, you know. So take care of those student loans, guys. Like saving up 20 000 a year. Is it 20? Yeah, 20 or 10 000 a year would be really really good for you. Um, if you have a job, no matter how much they pay you, you are able to pay to put something aside, all right. And if you can't, then you have to look at what you can remove in order for you to pay that thing that you want.

Speaker 1:

Things are not free and, just to wrap it up, I spent $10,000 or more on myself to better myself, like I went to therapy not just therapy, but coaching. I had a few coaching, a lot of them, and I also not just for my business, but it, when you take coaching, coaching will start with. You know why are you? Do? You have limiting belief, and I really cannot stress enough how it is important to request for help. You have all of these things. You have Google. You can find anyone that can help you figure it out.

Speaker 1:

All right, you are no longer a child, at least I mean, that was me at 23 talking to you guys. I don't know I was talking to who, but I was talking to someone. But the stuff that I was saying, man, I needed it. I needed to hear that today, and I'm not even single, but anyways, I hope that you enjoyed this series. This is literally the end. I am coming back with the stuff that I left. You're going to see me more on YouTube my face. Right now, I'm just going through a lot with my face. Believe me, acne is real on my face right now, but that's another subject for another day.

Speaker 1:

Take care of yourself. If you like these series, let me know. I'm on instagram at the emirates both, and tiktok too, and um, you know. If you're listening from youtube, subscribe and let me know what you think about. When will you? Will you think about these series? And if you want more of these, I can even do a new one when I turn 28. All right, I love you guys. Just remember that you are wonderful. You were created to be wonderful. Your brain is created for you to be just amazing. So feel free to have any type of goals and don't let anyone make you think that your goals are too big for you. All right, you decide. Take care of yourself again and remember self first isn't selfish. Bye, bye.