Fat Girl Therapy 28: The Alluring Dance of Weddings, Dieting, and Delectable Dishes

Ever caught yourself wandering the jam-packed aisles of Vancouver's Costco, wondering if you've tumbled into a world of chaos? Ever tasted the enticing blend of espresso with Premier protein, or have you ever pondered over the eerie charm of a Halloween-themed wedding? Join us as we traverse the tumultuous terrain of crowded grocery shopping, share candid details about my brother's big day, and delve into the unexpected surprise of a protein coffee shake. Is it better than your regular espresso? You'll have to tune in to find out.

Let's shift gears a bit. Picture this. Clock strikes midnight. You're famished, and the aroma from the Chinese takeout down the block is too tantalizing to resist. Yet, you have a pact - a no-takeout challenge. This episode brings to light our struggles with food addiction and the emotional tugs we often associate with eating. Hear about my personal journey as I navigate the stormy waters of cravings, calorie-tracking, and the quest to reshape my relationship with food.

As we wind down, we find ourselves chatting about self-care, the importance of routines, and the delicate balancing act between maintaining a healthy lifestyle and the irresistible temptation of takeout food. We paint a vivid picture of the complexities of weight loss, especially when you have someone to share that tempting takeout with. The conversation takes a lighthearted turn as we converse about mattress toppers, breakfast goals, and a sneak peek into our next episode. Join us on this wild ride of weddings, weight loss, and a whole lot of food.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:39

How are you? I haven't eaten today, oh like not one bite of anything.

Speaker 2: 0:48

Actually, I can see you've had a bite of a hot dog.

Speaker 1: 0:50

Well, now I have.

Speaker 2: 0:53

Chris is flat out lying to me on camera right now. I haven't had a single bite of anything as I watched her take a single bite of a hot dog.

Speaker 1: 1:04

I actually feel kind of nauseous now, trying to put that in my stomach. I go too long without eating and then I try and eat and then I don't feel good.

Speaker 2: 1:11

Yeah, well, that's a hot dog. Not that I'm like you know, I freaking love hot dogs, but like hot dogs.

Speaker 1: 1:21

But I also don't want to chew on the podcast I feel called out.

Speaker 2: 1:28

Yeah, I'm calling out that's fine, as I'm like damn, how can I first act?

Speaker 1: 1:36

How's things Good? My brother just got married this weekend. Yeah, that's awesome. How did everything go? I saw some of the pictures Really good.

Speaker 2: 1:43

It went as smooth as it could go, yeah, but it was good. It was good. It was like you're like what actually happened? It was actually really good.

Speaker 1: 1:55

It was just like plans that you thought were going to happen weren't actually plans that happened.

Speaker 2: 2:01

So things were just normal wedding stuff, right so, but it was really good. It was a lot of fun. It was Halloween themed, which was awesome.

Speaker 1: 2:06

Everybody showed up in costumes and, yeah, it's all good If I ever get married, like if I get married to Rams, I want to do it around Halloween because and like, do a dress up thing, my because, like, honestly, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, my because, like, honestly, I don't need to have a wedding, I would be fine, just a loathing. But if I had the funds to be able to have a wedding, I'd want it to be like a mass grade ball, so it's like I love that.

Speaker 1: 2:42

Yeah, cause I've always wanted to have one Never going to have the opportunity to go to one. And I'm like well, rams and my anniversary, our anniversary is a Halloween, so I'm like.

Speaker 2: 2:53

I've always wanted to do that.

Speaker 1: 2:56

I've always wanted to do the mass grade ball. Yeah, let me ask, that's great. Um, how was things like Journey wise or like not?

Speaker 2: 3:05

journey. How can we just jump into that Cause? I do have shit to say, I just didn't. Oh, if you have shit to say, I just didn't. Know if we were going to shoot the shit first. I don't know. I like it, I'll like. Dogs are like oh so good.

Speaker 1: 3:22

I promise you.

Speaker 2: 3:23

I made that noise as you were biting it. I'm sorry if I made that a little bit sexual Side note though.

Speaker 1: 3:29

Sorry, I'll swallow Side note because I am on a no takeout challenge.

Speaker 2: 3:35

Yeah, yeah yeah, Costco.

Speaker 1: 3:38

if you get through the crowds at Costco, you deserve like 20 hot dogs.

Speaker 2: 3:43

Yeah. So I'm like Costco is a shit show and you know you just sit that checkout with over $200 for the groceries. You deserve that $1.50 hot dog.

Speaker 1: 3:54

So not all of it was groceries, but Ramzanai spent $550. Damn bit in there. We bought a mattress topper that was 260 or 240.

Speaker 2: 4:05

It's also like I bought formula diapers and a couple of groceries a little while back and it was $400. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1: 4:14

Yeah, but like we got lots of veggies, we got some frozen stuff and whatnot, but with the mattress topper, and then like we got a big thing, a big tin of coffee each and then toilet paper and like hand soap, so it was like we have to knock off at least like $350 right there for all that stuff. So I don't think groceries are too bad, probably $200. But I did calculate it up through Instacart first, and then I went and I'm like look how much cheaper it is in person.

Speaker 2: 4:43

Do you have the at your Costco? Do you have the protein coffee there, Like it's in the same section as, like the Premier shakes? I don't know, it's literally like a Premier shake, but it's a dark roast coffee with a shake already in it. No, I didn't see it. But first BRU with like the two dots at the top ST. I've tried it. They had a sample of it at my work so I gave it a try and it's okay. Sorry, it would be good for running out the door and grabbing it. I think an espresso with Premier is better, though.

Speaker 1: 5:18

Personally, yeah, yeah, I'm enjoying all my coffee. I have too much of it now and I have like Premier protein coming out my butt, so Bear.

Speaker 2: 5:29

Yeah, how was your week? Your week was good. I know you were talking about health stuff. I'm just gonna ask how your week was.

Speaker 1: 5:36

You said you did have something to say. Is this what you're saying? I don't know.

Speaker 2: 5:39

I'm just asking how it is oh okay, shoot shootin' heart.

Speaker 1: 5:46

I feel like this sounds like a clusterfuck of words coming out of our mouths right now to everyone, but it's like I'm kind of still all over the place, like I just got in from Costco, so my mind is like still in Costco right now.

Speaker 2: 5:58

That is fine, I've just been sitting here.

Speaker 1: 6:02

The lineup was to the milk cooler, so anyone from Vancouver, it was the one over off of Willingdon, it was to the milk cooler. It was so both lines, the self-serve and the main checkout. And when I got up there I was like, wow, like I don't know how you guys do what you do. This is so crazy. She's like you should have been here yesterday. I was like, oh yeah, and she's like it was just you couldn't walk, it was impossible to even maneuver and I had plans to go there. But yeah, no, I just I don't like Costco. If I ever go again which I will go again, but instead of in Sicilian, I'll never go again. It's right when they open, that's the only time that's good to go.

Speaker 2: 6:42

Our Costco. It doesn't matter what time of day or what day you go, it's always, always busy. And if you go on a Sunday, saturday afternoon or anytime during a Sunday, it's just busy, busy, like it's busier than busy, but it's always busy. We could easily have a second Costco in our town.

Speaker 1: 7:01

I couldn't believe that we got a parking spot, to be quite honest, because the amount of people waiting like there was four people in every lane just waiting for someone to possibly come out, and so I decided to just pop into one area. I sat there for not even two minutes. Someone pulled in behind me like they wanted me to move, and I was like nope, go around. And yeah, a couple came out and I watched them the people like I always now when I leave Costco, I'm like how many eyes are on me right now, scanning on where I'm going. But yeah, they came out right in front of me and I was like thank you, so it wasn't too bad. But Sorry, my nose is so itchy, that's all right.

Speaker 1: 7:38

Journey-wise, pardon me, I'm actually doing really good. This week was my first week back and it was my first week this year that I had been at work pain-free, like practically pain-free.

Speaker 2: 7:51

That's nice.

Speaker 1: 7:53

And it just makes me a little bit sad that it's now happening in October and I like the gross grind, for example, is like closing down, like it's just whatever. I have things to look forward to for next year, but at the same, time too.

Speaker 2: 8:07

It's like every time you feel like you've gotten better, then you feel like you could do those things again. And then it's like I don't even mean you in particular, like I was so bad for that after both my surgeries this year I'm like, I'm fine, I'm fine, and they're like you're not. I'm like no, I feel fine, and then it's like no, you need to Stop it.

Speaker 1: 8:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, like I do know that, yeah, I should take it slow, but I have already put the word out at my work to being like you want to shift covered on a Saturday or Monday on your girl, I'm trying to play catch up right now. Yeah, christmas is coming like seriously, there is ridiculous one. There's five paychecks before.

Speaker 2: 8:47

Christmas.

Speaker 1: 8:49

That's how I have to calculate Christmas is by paychecks, to know if I can afford it or not. I like it. You know what honestly like? Because, ramzan, I said last year, oh, we're not going to celebrate Christmas. But see, when I said that I mean celebrate Christmas, like going all out, it's like I still want to celebrate Christmas. Yeah, I didn't communicate that well with Rams, so then he didn't really do anything, and then, not that he didn't do anything, it just like it just wasn't a thing. Okay, we're all not on the same level, yeah, and also I switched my mind partway through. So this year we're like, yeah, like let's go, like let's celebrate Christmas, but we're not still going to, like that's not go crazy with it. Yeah, but it just always kind of ends up that way. All of a sudden you see something and then, oh, then this, and it just gets so out of hand.

Speaker 2: 9:38

We're still on like that stand still because, like as I said in the previous episode, we're getting ready to move, right. So we don't really know what's happening at this point. We're just going to be like with everything that we have going on. So we know Christmas is happening, it's just a matter of where, as to how full, how far we're going to go with it, right, because usually we have like a friend miss or like a family Christmas or like like different Christmases, right. But we'll see what happens this year, I guess.

Speaker 1: 10:10

So, other than the whole moving thing, how?

Speaker 2: 10:11

things been going for you this week. On Monday I decided I was going to do a way in because I was kind of just like I'm starting, but I decided not to post it on tick tock. Actually, I was going to make a video of it at the end of the week but then I just got so busy with my brother's wedding and I didn't have the chance to. But I did my way in on Monday and then I did away on on Friday and in that time I did lose a pound. And then the weekend happened and it was like eating was out the door, like I wasn't tracking anything. And I wasn't really tracking anything last week either. I was kind of just being mindful of what I was doing, like knowing what the number was on the scale. When I weighed in on Monday I was 317. So I've gone up 10 pounds, pretty much. Yeah, I've gone up about 10 pounds. And then I was like I'm going to do a little bit of a stretch today.

Speaker 2: 11:01

So, again, because we were moving and we had an open house today and life is just chaotic, I woke up this morning and Brandon made us breakfast and I had like three bites of breakfast and I'm like I don't like this, so didn't finish that. But then, as we were just settling down a little bit before we were getting into our major cleaning, and I was like, yeah, and then I just kept feeling like I just want to keep snacking like you know what I mean. Like I don't want to eat anything, I just want to snack on all of the stupid stuff. So I had a handful of Cheetos and then we got into the cleaning and everything and then we had to leave for our open house. So we're like, well, what are we going to do for lunch?

Speaker 2: 11:38

So I went to Taco Bell and then I got my usual order and what my usual like.

Speaker 2: 11:44

And when I say usual I mean like I hadn't really ordered Taco Bell much this year, like I was obsessed with it before, but it was like Friday night you come home, you chill. I had Taco Bell but I never tracked it or anything because, like I was either in WW or just mindful eating or especially in that phase there where it was like I wasn't tracking anything, I was just being mindful because I love myself and I shouldn't have to focus on losing my eating. Yeah, this was my usual Taco Bell order. So today I got Taco Bell, finished eating my lunch and then I tracked it. It was my days worth of calories and that Taco Bell and afterwards I'm like I just feel gross, like no wonder why I was never losing, because I was always just eating this much all the time and it was like in your head it didn't feel like this much, but it was. And plus before this week, like I talked about this before, how like I felt like I was slipping back into like old, old habits.

Speaker 1: 12:45

So it's hard when you like, because it's you get so conflicted with the I should be able to eat what I want, which you should. You should be able to eat what you want, but then it's like it's in moderation which it's like. It's really hard, I find, which I'm sure you find to like to moderate when it's takeout, like when it's fast food. When it's something you really want, it's like, yeah, but I just want to keep eating it.

Speaker 2: 13:06

Yeah, and at the same time, in my head, it's like my brain starts turning to do I want to eat this, because I feel like I should eat it like time, for example, like it's dinner time. I'm not very hungry, but I know it's dinner time, so I should eat something now. Or if I don't eat something now, I'm going to be hungry when I go to bed, and I don't want to eat when I go to bed, so I should just eat now, but I'm still going to have a snack before bed. Like you know what I mean. Like it's just like my brain comes up with reasons to eat instead of just being hungry and then, when I am hungry, my brain goes that's okay, just be hungry, it's fine. Like it's just you can't have both, it's so frustrating, so I.

Speaker 2: 13:50

I track my calories for the Taco Bell, and then I haven't tracked dinner or my cookie yet, but or my iced tea. But part of me in my head is like what's the point of tracking? You've already gone over your calories in the day. Just eat what you want and who cares. But then the other party it was like don't do that, you know you can't do that, it's so. It's such a bad slippery slope when you do that. So yeah, that's that's where my head's at, yeah, that's it, that's where I'm at.

Speaker 1: 14:25

I don't know if I've asked you this before, but I just sat down with Rams as someone that isn't addicted to food, doesn't like go on binges like me, and I was like, wait, you don't do this. So last week I had that Burger King, which I said like last weekend it was after we recorded the podcast I ended up having Burger King. I don't know what came over me. I just was like, no, I really want it now. Did you have a whopper?

Speaker 2: 14:48

Yeah, and that's all you should have from, and their monstrosity.

Speaker 1: 14:52

With onion rings, and then I also got a side junior and we got the Hershey's cake thing. So like I went overboard to, quite honestly, but not not Christine overboard, but I went overboard, right. I felt like complete shit the next day. And the next day I had made myself a salad for work, plus something else, and because I had had the burger, I really wanted more burgers, yeah, but I wasn't doing it. So when I got to work, every time I thought just I didn't even have to look at it, I just thought about eating that salad. It made me want to throw up. And then, when I actually had the salad in front of me and I went to eat it, it was like a child that doesn't want to eat their veggies. And then, like I ate a bite and I just went nope, and I threw it in the garbage.

Speaker 1: 15:37

And so I asked Rims, I'm like, if you're having cravings, and I said for dinners coming this week, because he's going to, I have lunches for him for work and then he's also going to get take out pretty much at work, and so I said so, for dinners, would you mind having salads, because salads aren't for everyone either. He was like, yeah, I don't care. And I'm like, okay, but like what if you're craving something different that day? Are you going to be okay, coming home to a salad, like, will that bring you joy? And he's asking these questions. He keeps giving me this weird look and I'm like food doesn't bring you joy, does it? Like it's all these realizations.

Speaker 1: 16:14

Saying it to someone out loud, I'm like like do you not? Will you eat the salad even though you're craving something else? And he's like yeah, I'm like, okay, that's fucking weird to me. So you come home wanting pizza and I've made you a salad. Are you still going to eat it? And he's like yeah, and I'm like because I wouldn't. So I'm like I just can't wrap my head around that. And then I was like great, now I know the veggies aren't going to go to waste, but are you like that? Because I was like I need to ask Lisa this as well.

Speaker 2: 16:45

Yeah, 100%. Last weekend or last week I was at work and I made a salad the night before, brought it in. It was like chopped peppers, cucumbers, tomato, like dressing chicken, like it was my usual salad that I enjoy and. But I've been having such a hard time with takeout right now, as we've talked about, and I was just sitting there like I just want to go get lunch, like I just want to order something. I do not want this, I'm not enjoying this at all. My friend was just like I can really go for ice cream. I'm like, let's go, I'm done, I'm going to eat the pieces of chicken.

Speaker 2: 17:16

I didn't close the salad up, put it back in the fridge and we went to go get lizards, like that. That is what happened, like it didn't take much to convince me. So and yeah, it's the same way out, like you'll get the stuff and you're like I don't want this, I don't want this, and like I'll force myself to eat it. And I'm not to the extent that like I'll be sick, but like I'll force myself to eat it. But it does not bring me joy, I'm miserable, I don't want it.

Speaker 1: 17:44

But on my Friday, like do you know, on both my breaks how bad I wanted to go to McDonald's. Because I was like, just go get the cheeseburger, because, like you could, because in my head I'm like I'm not lying about it, I'll still be honest about it I ate the cheeseburger, whatever. But I was like but do you want to? Because it's like you're still not trying to like get takeout as many times as you can. So it's like is it worth it? Is that McDonald's? Is that McDonald's thing worth breaking? Like your streak again, or whatever. And it really wasn't.

Speaker 1: 18:12

So I drove all the way down to 7-Eleven and just like grabbed a drink and whatnot and came back Like I needed something that was not not bad. I just needed something that I don't give my body all the time. So I got a regular Pepsi, because normally I drink diet. And then I got back to work and people are like aren't you diabetic? I'm like diabetics, you can have sugar just in moderation, as I'm drinking a King can. But yeah, so anyway, I'm glad that you feel that too, because talking to Rams, it was just like. I think he also then realized that he's like is that what's going on with you?

Speaker 2: 18:49

Is that why you're just always like anyway, I, there's just there's so much like, there's such a hold with food like I'm more aware of it. This is why I find it so backlink that in the States, they're just like no food addiction isn't real, because it's like we have been trained to have feelings behind food, whether it's food that you love, food that you hate. Like people advertise food so that you'll keep coming back for the food. Like it's just there's. Food is no longer there to fuel your body, and that's what it was supposed to be for. It was supposed to be a way to fuel your body.

Speaker 2: 19:31

You go, you live, you do what you got to do, but the world and their corporate greed has just turned it into. How can we make it so that people are going to continue buying this food? We need to make it as good as possible and I need to make a profit, so we need to make it like the cheap food. That's the stuff that's going to get you hit the hardest, and now cheap food is even more expensive. Like it's just. The world is so fucked up right now. Yeah, but at the end of the day, yes, I totally understand what you're going through, because I do have that emotional attachment with food.

Speaker 1: 20:05

It just sucks because, especially when you like in this economy as well like because I get, I have all the food. I spent the money on the food and then all of a sudden, it's like I go through this, I don't want a salad. You saw me eating all those salads. I was making those videos right and now, right now, I bought all the salad stuff, but deep down I know that if I look at another fucking salad I'm going to lose my shit. Yeah, which is weird because I like them and like it's not that I'm not forcing myself to eat them because I think that they're good for me. I ate them because I actually enjoyed them, but all of a sudden my body's like you've had enough vegetables. Where is the?

Speaker 2: 20:41

fact I know I get that. I got to go back to the foods that I really enjoy. You know I mean because, like I'm, that's the problem I'm having is these foods that I was enjoying where I was at my journey and then I started going into the takeout phase, going right back to those foods. I'm not enjoying them. I got to go back to when I first started my diet and it was like foods replicating my takeout foods, so that I'm still hitting that craving and then ease back down into it because you can't go back to where you left off before. It just doesn't. You can't do that. Your brain's not that in that state anymore. It's like I've had a reset, but yeah, yeah, I've I.

Speaker 1: 21:28

So just for anyone listening, it's not a big deal when people comment this stuff, but I did tell Lisa that I was like if one more person recommends to me on my video where I said all I want is a big Mac to make a big Mac salad, I'm going to lose my absolute shit because it's like I don't want a salad. I'm not trying to look for an alternative. If I said I want a big Mac because I want a big Mac, yeah, the only reason I'm not getting it is because I had him fucking whopper the day before. But that being said, a big Mac salad now would sound really good to maybe get myself back into the salad thing. It wasn't until, like you were saying, to make your takeout. Things are, like, you know, that is a good idea for now, like I don't really want a big Mac right now, but maybe that'll make me want to get back in the salad game.

Speaker 1: 22:20

That does sound really good, right now I still have not popped on the scale. I have really no interest in the scale still Because I know I'm not giving her.

Speaker 1: 22:31

Yeah and like, why get into a headspace where I feel like a failure or something, when that's unnecessary? I still, like I said, I want to use the scale as, like a tool. That's not even one of my important tools, but because I'm in a weird headspace, I know I'm not going to use it that way, so it's like until I'm okay, like whatever, but I'm trucking along, my knee is great For now, god, knock on wood. I would like to get to the pool. What day is it today, sunday? I would like to get to the. You know what? Tomorrow I have the day off and I'm by myself. I'm going to go to the pool tomorrow. I'm not trying to like skip ahead, to like weekly goals. I'm just thinking like I still haven't gone other than that one time. So I'm gonna do it tomorrow. Yeah, that sounds like a great goal. Yeah, sorry, oh God.

Speaker 2: 23:25

I didn't even make a goal last week. I didn't make a goal last week. Last week I said how I had to think on it and blah, blah, blah and I kind of just had to. I had to deal with some mental shit last week and the like, focusing on diet stuff. Not just like mental stuff in general I was fine, but like getting in the headspace again of wanting to lose weight and it's just been. You know what it is that always triggers me to start losing weight is it's something is going on in my life that makes me go. I don't want that, so I should be focusing on losing weight.

Speaker 2: 24:10

When it comes to health you know what I mean Like you see somebody else around you who like have a stroke or have a heart attack or, in my case, when I first started, forever go dementia, like it's. You just see all these other effects from having long-term struggling with long-term obesity and it's like you just you don't want that. You know what I mean and it's just it's that's usually like the trigger of yep, gotta stay motivated, yep, gotta stay motivated. And it's just, I don't know. Lately it's like yeah, those are the motivations, but in my head too, it's just, I don't even know how to explain it. It's so weird because you know you don't want that, but at the same time you want the cheeseburger and the cheeseburger is just winning right now. You know what I mean. Like I don't have that motivation, and I always said that it's like it's not motivation, it's momentum. But at the same time it's like that spark just isn't there for me right now. But I want it to be.

Speaker 1: 25:10

Yeah, I don't know. You know what I try and focus on. Like sorry, I'm just blanking on their name right now. Ryan, like Ryan is, his goal is to walk every day. Now for a year he did a hundred days and he just he also isn't posting about it all the time, he just went.

Speaker 1: 25:30

I'm going to start doing this and I'm going to see what's happening and you know what, maybe, like because I've had to do this before, maybe you need to just silently do it for yourself and then check in in a couple of weeks, you know, and be like look, I've started this.

Speaker 2: 25:43

I don't know, because even when I first started, I feel like I wouldn't be as far as I am today without posting it, like there was the kind of accountability.

Speaker 1: 25:51

Maybe you just need to like that whole like find yourself type thing. You know, you just have to find your groove right now without inviting everyone else into it and then feeling the pressure of having to do it.

Speaker 2: 26:01

Yeah, that's why I did the weigh in separately last week of, like this was my weigh in on the Monday, this was my weigh in on the Friday. I didn't want to. I knew if I posted it on the Monday what my weigh in was it would turn into. I need to focus and I need to go hard for Friday, because people are going to be looking at what I was doing and that's not really where what I wanted. And then today, even still, when I was tracking my calories, it was more so a like you need a news flash on what you've been doing, like you know what I mean. So that's kind of what the tracking was today, because I didn't track it all last week. I think, quite honestly, I know part of it is the fact that I don't have a routine right now.

Speaker 2: 26:41

Like things are just completely in the air and it's like you can't really make a routine because all of a sudden you get a text message that's like hey, people want to come see your house. So it's like you got to drop what you're doing and deal with that situation. You know what I mean. And, plus, you never know what's going to happen with Harper. And then everything was chaotic with weddings and I feel like I'm just a broken record and repeating what I said last week. But like that's literally my biggest issue is, since returning to work, I don't have a routine, I don't have like a structure.

Speaker 1: 27:15

I guess, yeah, no, I hear you Like, do you mind me like? I don't think it's going to be like judgment, judgment, but do you mind me like saying something that might sound like judgment maybe?

Speaker 2: 27:25

Yes, I mind completely Okay. No, I'm totally joking. We've only had this podcast for like almost three years and we just tell each other what we're thinking all the time, but right now I have a problem with it.

Speaker 1: 27:38

I don't see you getting your shit together until the new year.

Speaker 2: 27:41

And I don't want that.

Speaker 1: 27:43

I totally agree with what you're saying, what I'm saying as well, like I know you don't want that, but I think that you need to like Okay, I don't want to tell you what you have to do. My suggestion is that you can kind of see it, and I can kind of see it because I know what's going on in your life and the people out there maybe don't know everything that's going on in your life and I just don't see you being 100% with it until the new year, because it's also a new year and that's how people sometimes get. But you have so much walking going on with yourself that, even though you want to get started, it's your last priority right now. Your daughter, that other stuff, like everything that's going on right now. These are all the priorities. And then, like, once you move, then you have to settle in, you have a new place, you're going to want to decorate, you want to get stuff organized, and these things take priority. Still be mindful, but use this time to silently figure your shit out.

Speaker 2: 28:40

I agree with what you're saying. You're going to have a whole new life. The only thought that I'm having behind it is I don't and it sounds. I feel like this sounds toxic diet, but it's like I don't want to waste and I have something part two for this as well but I don't want to waste the two and a half months that I have left of this year.

Speaker 1: 29:03

But see, that's not telling you to. I'm not. That's where I'm not communicating well enough. I'm not telling you to not do anything.

Speaker 2: 29:11

I totally agree with what you're saying. I'm just this is just what my my brain is coming back with what you're saying. I agree with what you're saying. It's just my brain is saying but you don't want to waste those two and a half months and on top of that it's not just wasting for weight loss, it's like my brain is like you know, if you have that mentality, you're just going to have takeover two and a half months and I can't afford that and on my body, I can't afford that.

Speaker 2: 29:39

So it's either focus on weight loss or focus on money, or focus on like there's something I have to focus on. You know what I mean, and if I focus on my weight loss, it factors all of those things and I would say wait until January.

Speaker 1: 29:56

It's that, until January, still track your food, but like, let's say, you allow yourself 2000 calories and each day you're going into 3000 calories. Like no, that's not great, but you're still tracking, you're still being mindful, and then come January you can look back and reflect and go, okay, which calories were more? Or like, what's this like? Use this time to find your groove, find yourself, find what works for you, find meals that are going to work for you. You're still being mindful, but you're not. These are just my suggestions.

Speaker 1: 30:26

You're not hopping on the scale until January, because the scale also makes you go shit. I should have been here by now, or whatever. Or I want to grind now until the end of the year and then you're going to put that pressure on yourself and then you're there's a possibility you might fail because you put too much pressure on yourself, because there's a time limit. I get the time limit thing and I get that works for you and I encourage you to do what's works for you. But maybe put that time limit on the scale, on the number. Wait until January, just do all those other things that you can control. Right now you can't necessarily control the scale because you're going through a lot of shit. Sometimes you have to get takeout. You can't go on a no takeout challenge because it's going to happen. You're literally sitting in an empty room right now that I'm looking at. That used to be full of stuff.

Speaker 1: 31:13

I just think that not saying like go balls the walls and say like and don't have like a thing to care about so that you go get takeout, find one thing to be able to focus on, which is tracking, like you which, which you did, but you know you go over Okay, I went over today and then tomorrow I won't go over whatever and just take it day by day. Right now, just an opinion, just something to think about, because, like, you're going through too much right now and I think that you're just putting way too much pressure on yourself. When I listen to you, like and I'm talking about things that people on the podcast aren't even listening to like a voice note you sent me or a text, and it's just like you just need to take a step back, I think you beat yourself up a little bit too much because, like verbally, even what you say to me, I'm like you're beating yourself up and I know that that's not what you're saying to yourself in your head and you're saying even more in your head.

Speaker 2: 32:05

I don't even know an example of what you're talking about, which means right now I'm doing it. I'm not even realizing what I'm doing.

Speaker 1: 32:12

And it's not toxic. It's just like you and I do that, like we'll say things to each other. We're having a bad day. I fucking said that to you. I've like to people out there. I've literally sent just Lisa tech saying like I'm sick of being fat, and that's not even how I feel, like I don't fucking give a shit that I'm fat, and that's not even the way that I wanted to express it. It's just the words that came out right then and it's not even how I feel, and I was beating myself up then. And then Lisa encourages me about something you know. So it's like we get into those ways. I just think that you need to realize what I'm seeing, what you're going through. I can't I can't even mentally comprehend. Yeah, anyway, that was a very big tangent Um.

Speaker 2: 32:57

I don't have anything to say on to that, except for that I agree. I just think you need to think about it like I don't, I don't have anything that's like yeah, but like it's just, I agree.

Speaker 1: 33:11

And then there was a I think it was either in 2021 or 2022. I took a couple weeks off social media because, even though I said, like social media is what helped get me started on to my journey and whatnot, I need that to couple weeks to like find my groove again by myself, because I was like my life is not working here and I was beating myself up and I wanted my own input on it and not everyone else's comments. To like try and change my mind. Even now you expressing what you're going through Now you have my comments that are trying to go in and change your mind, you know. So I just really just take.

Speaker 2: 33:44

I think one of the big things that journal have made it harder as well is Harper, and I feel like that's cliche to say like once you have kids, your life gets harder and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it's like before. I just had to think about me. You know what I mean. Like even like Brandon, I would have dinner together, but if I was having something he didn't want or he was having something he didn't like, you know what I mean you just fend for yourself, kind of thing. So like when I started my weight loss journey, it was like I was having my foods that I enjoyed for my weight loss journey. But now it's like I have to think about what I'm eating and what Harper's eating and you don't want to make three meals like. You know what I mean, that I already have a picky child and yeah it just adds to it.

Speaker 1: 34:28

Oh my god, by the way, seeing that video of Harper saying night night, I watched that probably 50 fucking times and then I teared up because I was like night night, harper.

Speaker 2: 34:45

She's so cute. She's so cute. I love her so stinking much and it's so much fun. Like I don't, I have no regrets. I absolutely love every bit. Like watching her grow and like being her mom is just so freakin awesome. It's just it's harder. It's added to life, so and it is also going.

Speaker 1: 35:08

It makes weight loss a little bit harder After having a kid, I'm sure, and you know you got. You have to remember like your body went through a lot to like, and show that body some appreciation and give it a burger.

Speaker 2: 35:25

I have had many.

Speaker 1: 35:29

I actually said it to Rams like out loud before he's sitting right over there, so that's why I'm saying this, because so he's not shocked but I've said that my weight loss would probably be a lot easier if I was single, like if he wasn't in the picture, and it's not because of him there'd be because of anyone being there, and he's acknowledged that we both know. Like he might not, he might be thinking we're having salad tonight and I'll be like man, I want to piece. He's like let's get pizza or he'll be like you know, I want something.

Speaker 1: 35:57

I'll be like yeah, so do I, you know, and it's so easy to do with someone else, whereas when I am by myself, I can talk myself out of it pretty easily. I don't have the money.

Speaker 2: 36:08

Yeah, well, and if I were by myself? Honestly, if I were by myself, it could go 5050. I would either be bigger than what I am or smaller than what I am. Honestly, looking back on the last like three months, after everything, I'd probably be bigger because it's like I left the house. Every time I left the house, I needed to get Starbucks. I, as I said, I slipped into those habits of getting breakfast, getting lunch, getting take it for dinner, and that was all me decisions. You know what I mean. There wasn't anybody else with me saying let's get this.

Speaker 1: 36:42

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 36:42

As much as I know, when I'm in the height of my weight loss, like I have the motivation to be losing weight and focusing on my meals and yeah, that would be easier, but on the days that I don't feel motivated it you know what, though?

Speaker 1: 36:59

like I'm glad I'm doing my hundred days of no takeout, because there's times where I'm driving home and I'll be like, oh, like there's McDonald's and all this be like, oh, Rams would really like that, so I'm going to get it for Rams and then also get myself something like what Rams didn't even ask for it. I'm like you're doing this for you, you liar.

Speaker 2: 37:17

Yeah, I've been there. In fact, I should probably go get Brandon and W after this.

Speaker 1: 37:26

We got one of those Costco lasagnas for later.

Speaker 2: 37:29

Oh, the big one though, right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 37:32

No, I wanted to get the two pack because they were on sale, but we there's a lot that was out. It was so busy in there. But yeah, we got the lasagna. I haven't had it before, but I know, like I knew, every time a grocery shop I need to, I'm not going to cook, so that's like the best thing to get. And now I don't have to order takeout. I guess that kind of counts as takeout, doesn't it? If it comes from a grocery store, it's not takeout, good rule. Good rule, unless it's TNT, because they have like a practical food court in their grocery store. So anyway, I think that it's really nice catching up with you again too, because you and I have not been talking like I was so busy with the wedding this week.

Speaker 1: 38:20

Yeah, and like, even with me, like you've you sent me multiple messages and like I'd see them, but I'm just like I'm so exhausted being back at work.

Speaker 2: 38:28

You know, what's funny is I was going to follow up with you this afternoon because I texted you what was it last night or this morning? I'm like, are you good for this evening? And then I was like she didn't reply and I'm like, if she doesn't reply by 6 30, I'm just going to assume we're not recording because I'm not sitting on my computer again.

Speaker 1: 38:46

Well, rams and I were going to go to a market today, but we just started the day too late that it wasn't a good time to go. So we did some chores and whatnot and then I'm like it's going to be a Costco day. I'm very excited about our mattress topper because I don't. I haven't. I have I said this on the podcast, I don't know but I haven't slept in my room for like two years. Yeah, because the mattress hurts me. And also it actually started because we watched house on haunted hill and I got so scared I couldn't go into the bedroom because there's mirrors that look right at the bed. Bed and I just deal with mirrors. But now I'm okay. So I have been trying to go into the bedroom, but every time my shoulder is in so much pain because it it falls asleep or whatever. It just it hurts.

Speaker 2: 39:31

And so the mattress topper hopefully At least it's from Costco so I can return it if it doesn't work- my brother won't sleep with a mirror in the room, so like if ever he's staying with the dogs and he's sleeping in my parents room, he always puts like a big towel over the mirror that my mom has in her room. But that's because, yes you did, yeah, okay.

Speaker 1: 39:58

I should sell it as a haunted mirror. I feel like I get money for that.

Speaker 2: 40:02

You should. You could get good bank on Facebook marketplace. I'm sure you just got to put the story with it Like you got to make it like. This is haunted.

Speaker 1: 40:11

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 40:12

I was going to say something before that, but I can't remember what it was. I feel like I've talked about myself a lot today. Is there anything that you wanted to say?

Speaker 1: 40:21

That's so funny. You say that because I feel like I've done nothing but talk.

Speaker 2: 40:25

Oh, cool. So we both talked a lot, which is good, because this is a podcast Good.

Speaker 1: 40:32

We have an episode where we're just sitting here like it's just silence. How's it going? We're just staring at each other you Good. Okay, yeah, we don't have that many more episodes, I guess, until we're going to stop. No, yeah, we do. I guess it's quite a few. We got a good handful, a good handful.

Speaker 2: 40:49

Like five, if there's anything you want to. Oh, that is a handful.

Speaker 1: 40:52

Sorry. If there's anything any of you want to hear about before we go for this year or finish for this year, let us know. I know we would like to try and get a couple of our guests that we've had waiting to get on to this, but it's kind of insane. But yeah, I'm going to. I'm going to try and track and go to the pool tomorrow. I'm going to go track all week. That's my goals. And also be kind to myself and try and not get takeout. And what about you, lisa?

Speaker 2: 41:27

My goal is to I don't know. Okay, my goal is to not have takeout for breakfast.

Speaker 1: 41:38

Is it? Do you normally Coffee? Yeah, starbucks.

Speaker 2: 41:42

Well, no, no coffee excluded. But I mean, like I'm not going to get like breakfast, like a breakfast sandwich at Tim's or a breakfast sandwich at Starbucks, sorry, or anything like that, like I'm going to have either have breakfast at home or bring breakfast with me. Nice.

Speaker 1: 41:57

I'm going to make some egg bites again, because when I made those egg bites last time they were so freaking good, I'm going to freeze them, brandon.

Speaker 2: 42:06

Brandon, how many eggs do we have left? Okay, cool. So I bought eggs and the breakfast hash from Costco. I bought that to make because Starbucks has those like potato cheddar and chive egg bites right now. Have you tried them? No, they are very good and I love them. So I bought the Costco hash to put into muffin tins and put the eggs in it, and I haven't done it. And it wasn't until you just said that that I realized I never did it.

Speaker 1: 42:42

I like using the egg whites that I get from Costco. They're good for that.

Speaker 2: 42:47

I do like egg whites.

Speaker 1: 42:49

Especially when you put turmeric in it. You actually are tricking your mind to thinking it's not just egg whites and it tastes delicious.

Speaker 2: 42:56

I don't like scrambled eggs and omelets and stuff like that. I either like the like a fried egg or deviled eggs. I don't know what it is about the yolk. I can dip my toast in yolk like on a, like a. What is the like? A sunny side up egg. I can do that when it's not hard and dip your toast in the yolk. But like having the cooked yolk mixed with the whites. I don't know what it is about it. I don't like.

Speaker 1: 43:28

I don't know why I like poached eggs, my favorite. Okay, well, this was fun. It was nice to catch up with you and um.

Speaker 2: 43:42

I think we're next talk about for Thursday.

Speaker 1: 43:45

Um, I was thinking of am I the assholes? I was just looking some up now.

Speaker 2: 43:48

Oh, okay, cool.

Speaker 1: 43:49

Yeah, yay, we have something for Thursday.

Speaker 2: 43:55

Can you tell that we haven't been talking and we're planning this on the spot and I'm going to tell Chris that I'm going to go grab a Snicky snack first, real quick.

Speaker 1: 44:03

All right, until next week. We're on Thursday, okay, bye guys.

Speaker 2: 44:07

But yeah, thursday, yeah Bye, okay, legit, I'm going to go get a snack.

Speaker 1: 44:14

I'll be right back.