Do you remember the thrill of raising your first digital pet? This episode is a nostalgic trip down memory lane as we reminisce about the joy and heartbreak of virtual pet games like Tamagotchi and Pet Cafe. As we approach the holiday season, we'll also be stirring up excitement for our upcoming festive-themed episodes!
Now, imagine arriving at a holiday dinner and finding yourself in one of four situations involving a character named Emma. Through these scenarios, we unpack the sensitive topic of body image issues and the impact of negative comments. Sharing personal experiences of dealing with a toxic family member, we underline the importance of standing up for oneself and promoting body positivity.
Finally, we take our listeners on a thought-provoking journey through societal programming, justice, and respecting boundaries. Drawing insights from the riveting book, "Everything is Fucked," we dissect the battle between our thinking and feeling brains. We highlight a personal encounter with a coworker using offensive language and emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and respecting others' decisions. Tune in for an episode packed with thoughtful discussions, personal stories, and tips on navigating difficult relationships and situations.
Do you have a story you would like to share? Send it to us at theweightingroompc@gmail.com
Disclaimer: We are not Medical professionals and all views and opinions are our own.
Do you remember the thrill of raising your first digital pet? This episode is a nostalgic trip down memory lane as we reminisce about the joy and heartbreak of virtual pet games like Tamagotchi and Pet Cafe. As we approach the holiday season, we'll also be stirring up excitement for our upcoming festive-themed episodes!
Now, imagine arriving at a holiday dinner and finding yourself in one of four situations involving a character named Emma. Through these scenarios, we unpack the sensitive topic of body image issues and the impact of negative comments. Sharing personal experiences of dealing with a toxic family member, we underline the importance of standing up for oneself and promoting body positivity.
Finally, we take our listeners on a thought-provoking journey through societal programming, justice, and respecting boundaries. Drawing insights from the riveting book, "Everything is Fucked," we dissect the battle between our thinking and feeling brains. We highlight a personal encounter with a coworker using offensive language and emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and respecting others' decisions. Tune in for an episode packed with thoughtful discussions, personal stories, and tips on navigating difficult relationships and situations.
Do you have a story you would like to share? Send it to us at theweightingroompc@gmail.com
Disclaimer: We are not Medical professionals and all views and opinions are our own.
Have you ever played? Can your pet?
Speaker 2:Have I ever played? What can your pet and your pet? Yeah, okay, that's right.
Speaker 1:What is?
Speaker 2:right another day Is it can your pet do something? Or you're putting your pet into a can because I thought that first, yes, you're putting your pet into a can. It's both oh.
Speaker 1:So you remember. I like that fit it was like pet cafe or whatever, where it's like you had a little pet that you would take care of on fight on Facebook, like forever ago. So it was like that. It was like a little game where it was like oh, so you're like building a little character and you're playing a little games and blah, blah, blah. And then there's there's this like a little hold on. I'm just gonna look it up and show it to you.
Speaker 2:Were you old enough to have Tom a got you before now.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:No, because, like for now, well, it's made it come back like I know, in the most ridiculous way.
Speaker 1:It looks like Tom a got you meet. You remember the, the pixel houses Like it was, like those? Do you know what I'm talking about? That one was more my generation thing, it doesn't matter. Anyways, it's very digital for a Tom a got you now.
Speaker 2:There's this funny tech talk of this girl like walking into stores and like doing this slow-mo. Look at like things From her past that are now back in season. But she did it in such a good way that she would like see a jean vest and then it would like Show a clip of like Miley Cyrus wearing the same one, or then like a jean skirt and someone you and I was like Are you literally in the same store and you're seeing all these clothes like did they just Go back into the factory and go? Oh, these ones didn't sound. I Hate it.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, this is so frickin loud, hold on share sound. So you did all these things where it was like, oh, look, it's super cute. You could dress him up and then like, as you did stuff, it unlocked other things and now I feed him. So it was just enough. So that it was like, yeah, I love hanging out with this guy. And then this would show up and you're like, oh, okay, let's go for a bike ride and you click on the bike. Now you understand why I said, yes, oh my god, it was just enough. Like I powered through it, right, but like that was right when everybody was like into those games, so like you would like go in and you would like get really attached to this little chicken. And then it would go through a saw. And I remember the first time my friend showed me that and I was devastated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I would be freaking, devastated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, anyways, um hi, hello Lisa, hello Chris, what you doing? Nothing. So if you were listening to this episode of the podcast, that means it is Thursday and Hopefully I get Starbucks today. It's Monday right now while we're recording, but I'm pre saying I you have like a timer on your phone, clock I would let's be honest.
Speaker 1:So because it is American Thanksgiving for everybody down in the States and we know that that's a bigger deal down there and it is almost Christmas for us and we will not be doing a like we're gonna have Christmas stuff but we're not gonna be recording into Christmas. This is kind of like part, like one of three, of our holiday Wrap-up stuff and a part of that I thought it would be fun. Do Emma the assholes? I have four lined up here and they are specifically about Emma the asshole during Christmas slash Thanksgiving dinner. I'm pretty excited about it. They also have to do with being fat. Just cuz you know that's in we're not. We're not those other podcasts that only read in my other assholes. We only do that part time. Around here we actually talk about being fat full time.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cuz we know our criteria no one else is doing it Okay. Hey man, I'm not an expert in many things, but I am in this but what I am?
Speaker 1:I'm fat, so we've got. We've got Emma the asshole for calling my boyfriend's mom fat at dinner. Emma the asshole for making Thanksgiving dinner this year uncomfortable. Emma the asshole for being upset with what served for Christmas dinner. Or Emma the asshole for getting up on my chair in the middle of the Christmas dinner and shouting shut the fuck up about my body in response to my husband's observations.
Speaker 2:I like that one. Sorry, that made me flash back to a moment that I had with one of my friends where I, like, slammed my. The only time I've ever done this is when I slammed my fist down and went would you just shut the fuck up already? And it felt great.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it needs to be said Like it just it hits a point.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. I'm so upset but honestly, after that happened, the my other two friends that were with me, they're like and this is why we do not invite extra people on this trip.
Speaker 1:Going on this trip.
Speaker 2:The three of us were so long and it was just like you asshole. Yeah, he deserved it.
Speaker 1:I'm so upset that I'm really not sure where Emma is. So I'm like I'm gonna do this one. I'm gonna go with Emma the asshole for getting up from my chair in the middle of Christmas dinner and shouting shut the fuck up about my body in response to my husband's observation. So ever since I had my son months ago, my husband has started making direct, making indirect comments about my body when he looks at my waist and says wow, didn't know your waist to get this wide, basically passive stuff that I tried to ignore till it extended to my friends and family. Yeah, fyi, this went on for months and months.
Speaker 1:We went to Christmas celebration at his family's home. My sister-in-law complimented on my floral maxi dress and my husband said I agree, it looks nice on you, though I have to admit that your waist could get smaller than this. Awkward silence took over. It was. I was absolutely fuming and this was my last straw. So I got up from my chair and in the middle of the dinner I shouted at the top of my lungs shut the fuck up about my body. He was absolutely speechless and his family stared while some others tried to get me to calm down. But situation got more tense and dinner ended up being cut short and my husband stormed off to his friend's place to spend the night, upon leaving a very nasty text saying I embarrassed him and made a scene over an observation he made. He called me childish and told me to get therapy for my insecurities instead of verbally abusing him and scarring his family.
Speaker 1:These childish you just ran away with your to your friend's house because you were embarrassed, you child. Now I feel like an absolute idiot asshole and I feel like I ruined Christmas for him and everybody with my over sensitivity. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 2:No, your over sensitivity. No, how about? He's a fucking insensitive prick that acts like a child when you fucking finally have had enough. Maybe it should have gone to the point where she has to freak out like that, but no, I'm mad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, honestly, like I think about like, if Brandon ever said something like that to me after having Harper, she had a baby months ago, months ago, like I was swole, like after I had Harper I was swollen for like three months easily. Like you don't bounce back from that.
Speaker 2:I don't even care about her having a baby. I'm actually even glossing over that fact. I don't even think I heard it. Don't fucking talk about other people's bodies. Oh hello, yeah I you're completely. Sorry. Okay, Well, look at all that frosting just sitting here hey how did you go off and then, all of a sudden, you come back with cake? What the fuck happened?
Speaker 1:Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing?
Speaker 2:What kind of cake is it?
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:I started eating again. That's why you left.
Speaker 1:I don't know Some chocolate cake from Chicago that Brandon's friend brought up from the stage.
Speaker 2:Bill, it's, you're so pixelated, it's so weird.
Speaker 1:Here. What if I stop it? Do we want to hang up and come back? Okay, is this better now, though?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, guess what fucking happened, what I had to plug in my phone because it was dying and I was reading the MI the Assels. After, off of the phone, my hotspot turned on. My computer was running off of my hot spot.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, oh, it could do that. Wow, yeah, cause you're not pixelated at all anymore. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's what happened. Anyways, now that this is working, let's try this again. Yeah, from the top, I'm out of the asshole for being upset with what served at Christmas dinner.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:So, for context, my relationship with my mom gets very tenuous surrounding issues of weight. I'm 19, being male and healthy, I'm athletic, go to the gym, healthy, bmi, doing much better than I was previously on the eating well front, although I am by no means a model of physique. I'm home for college on break and I noticed that my mom was making me significantly less portion wise meals than she had in the past. When she ever made dinner One day, she angrily chased me out of the kitchen when I tried to get seconds. I told her that I'm working on making healthier choices, but I am not interested in starving myself, and I told her how much how much this food policing weighs on my mental health. She hasn't said anything else on the food over the past week, so all was well until Christmas Eve.
Speaker 1:On the holidays, where Americans traditionally have tons of food Thanksgiving and Christmas we've always been on the more conservative side, because it's mainly just the three, it's mainly just my three person family, and we don't need all this food. However, this year I noticed a notable reduction on Thanksgiving. We make a turkey loaf instead of a turkey because of the size, and only allow one, and I was only allowed one piece of that and one Hawaiian roll and one spoonful of casserole. I wasn't hungry after that, but it made me sad that even on a holiday my mom couldn't let her rigidness go. I was even more saddened by all of my friends saying that they were gorging themselves on homemade food, and Thanksgiving is meant to be a day where you really eat your fill. I really didn't want Christmas to feel that way.
Speaker 1:As we were setting the table for Christmas dinner, I asked what we were having for dinner. It was shrimp. I asked if there was bread to go with it, because I love some nice bread, and my mom said no. I asked if there was a dessert and she said no. Also, I will admit, I did sound sad when I said oh, not even for Christmas. And she said, also sad what more do you want?
Speaker 1:I made this food, the shrimp, the beet salad. I said If you wanted help in making the dessert, I could have. If you asked, you know I would have been more than happy to help. She said that's not the point. I said, mom, it's Christmas, I have the rest of the year to worry about being fat. Now she just looks sad as she's putting out the food and she wouldn't even look at me or talk to me while setting the table. And now I'm very sad because the last thing I wanted was to ruin the mood on Christmas. I've been trying lately to stick up more for myself and what I wanted sometimes, but I worry I just did it at the wrong time. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 2:Did the mom say that she made this for Christmas dinner to be healthier?
Speaker 1:It was. It wasn't necessarily that she said that she was making it to be healthier, but she kept hinting at she needed to be healthier through.
Speaker 2:Through the year, but through Christmas. At Christmas, did it say like oh, this is the way that we're eating because of that? No, it was just obvious.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's not what I'm seeing. I think because of the way that she said it at Thanksgiving it implied that at Christmas. That's why it was a small amount of food.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, your mom is toxic. However, my mom is toxic and I just don't say things like that to her because it's just like there's no getting through to someone like that for me, like it's been so many years and I just have given up and I just go, mm. Hmm, like, for example, honestly not to make this about me. But I had a conversation with my mom today where she kept being like I just told her hey, I'm making that roast that you gave me because she wanted. And she's like, oh, yeah, make sure not to eat too late, like randomly. It's like, okay, and this was at two o'clock in the afternoon. She's saying it to me. It's like, yeah, no, I won't. And then it all became like well, you don't eat at work, do you? You just have snacks, right, and it's like I'm on a night shift so I eat opposite of you. So me eating at midnight is normal.
Speaker 2:Like that would be like normal for you, but it wouldn't be normal for you right now, like she just doesn't get it and I'm like, all right now, let's talk about something else that you can nitpick, because like it's just it gets too much, you know. Yeah, I don't know I think that I would just Gosh. I don't know if I, if I had the guts, I'd bring my own meal to that dinner.
Speaker 1:Oh, I can't have seconds. That's fine. I brought my second.
Speaker 2:Here's my Tupperware for my purse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, literally. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's like she didn't attack her. You know what I mean. Like it wasn't like Jesus Christ, mom, Let me eat what I want to fucking eat. Like you know what I mean. It was just a oh, not even on Christmas. Like you know what I mean. Like I don't know, I think not the asshole personally.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't think that she is an asshole at all. I I can understand it, bringing the mood down at Christmas and it's just like, but your mom kind of set that tone already for you. So I don't know, I don't really think that she's being a asshole. But what I have necessarily done, it you know what? Yeah, I've done it on my birthday. I've literally stormed out of my own birthday party because it's just like I can't handle it. I can't handle the fat comments. I can't handle the food comments Like do people, are people unaware that we know we're fat?
Speaker 2:They don't people totally are unaware, like they think that we're just walking around going, I'm skinning, like this is my life, and they're like no, we need to tell you you are fat yeah.
Speaker 1:I feel like there are people out there who it's like they don't realize they've gained some weight. Yeah, I mean that's you reach a point. But like, if I'm stepping on the scale and I'm seeing that I'm like over an X amount of weight, like and I'm looking in the mirror, like or how I just said last week, I have eight inches hanging on to my legs like I am fully aware that I'm fat, yeah, like there's no if, ands or buts about it. I'm not gonna argue that with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I actually had like one of my best friends. I think I might have told you this already like 10 years ago. We were at a club and someone made a comment to both of us being like us plus size ladies got to stick together and she was like I'm not plus size and I, in my head, I'm like, yeah, you are. But I wouldn't have said that out loud to her and but what irritated me by it was how Insulted she was that she someone said that and I was like right, I mean, that's not insulted. She didn't come up to us and call us much of fat pigs, like she came up to like have that camaraderie, camaraderie, you know like yeah like where plus size hot bitches or what she said, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It was really funny and I thought it was cute, but I've never seen someone more insulted. And then, like, we did have a conversation later and she's like well, why would like I'm not plus size, so like and it's just. It was just shocking to me because it's like but then also body dysmorphia. This person had been really skinny for a lot of their life. They were going through a depression. I can understand how they're feeling and it's not my job to tell them you are Whatever, it's not the big of a deal, but my problem was this is one of my best friends and she was thoroughly Disgusted being associated with that and it just makes it.
Speaker 1:I saw a post on Facebook the other day. I can't even remember if I shared it. I think I did share it, actually and this, now that I think about it, I had a notification saying that, like, this post can no longer be seen. And it was this post. It was a picture of like a Really it's gonna sound bad, but it was a pig, but it was like artistically drawn with like flowers all around it and whatnot. And then on the inside of it it said Fat people don't need to hear how you don't want to look like them. Hmm, and I did share it on my Facebook, but it looks like the person who put the picture up took it down. But and it's true, like the amount of times that you hear people that are just like, yeah, I want to focus on losing weight, like, oh, yeah, I hate my gut, or oh, I hate my stomach, and it's just like, what do you think about me? Like you know what I mean. Like, what do you like? What is it that you think about me?
Speaker 2:I Think it's also easy for people like cuz when I am me. When you said that, I immediately went into what you were talking about, with your stomach hanging onto your thighs. But there's a difference, because you are just stating a fact of what's happening and how it's uncomfortable for you. You weren't saying like fuck this. And you know whatever, but it's like there's like a difference like self-hating Versus just stating a fact of something that you're uncomfortable with. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like it has nothing to do with, like it's not like I look at myself. Well, I'm dealing with some mental issues, as we all know, but it's like that's not a. I'm looking at myself and it's like, oh my god, I hate this about myself, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It's not like.
Speaker 1:I'm sitting here thinking like it's ugly or anything like that. It's just I'm uncomfortable not mentally uncomfortable, physically uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it can cause rashes. Like, honestly, I have my apron belly. Like I have to be very Careful, especially coming out of the shower and making sure like let's just be honest now making sure everything's dry. I do use baby powder. I know a lot of people are very against that cancer causing blah, blah, blah. It works for me and I like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah you know, it's something that we all have to deal with. Like you know, it's just a part of this body and the funny thing is is like do I hate it when that happens? Yeah, it happens a lot less, though, because I'm just very preventative of it. But I'm not like me. In high school, I wanted to cut parts of me off, like with a knife, like we talked about with that with Lexi back in 2021. Now I'm like that's a part of my life, like that's part of my body and like I love myself, you know. And it's like do I wish it wasn't there for health reasons and how tiring that extra upkeep is? Yeah, but it's. I'm not sitting here going you fat, disgusting pig. Look at you. That's awful. Yeah, yeah, anyway, we got a sidetrack there. What's the next story?
Speaker 1:All right, so this, this is the last one I'm gonna do. Okay? Am I the asshole for calling my boyfriend's mom fat at dinner?
Speaker 1:I'm gonna just say yes, hi, I 22 female, met my boyfriend, 24 male, about two years ago. We have a great relationship and get along really well and could really see myself spending the rest of my life with him. There's only one problem his mom. I will call her Mary throughout this story. After almost a year of our relationship, I really wanted to meet Mary and my boyfriend's dad, but he kept pushing it off. Eventually he decided to get some things up. Eventually he decided to set some things up so that we could all go out to eat. When I first met his dad, he was really nice but kind of got the feeling Mary didn't like me.
Speaker 1:Eventually, as I started to get them to know them more and more, mary started making really rude comments to me about what I was eating. She would say things like are you really going to eat all of that, or didn't you think you should watch your figure a little bit? My son doesn't like fat girls, etc. I would laugh it off as a joke, but my boyfriend and his dad never said anything. This happened every time we would eat with them and I started to lose my patience. This went on for months.
Speaker 1:Everything came to a boiling point. At tonight's dinner she started her usual comments, but something about this one comment made me lose it. I didn't cook a lot of food, so please try and restrain yourself. I know it's hard for your kind. She made me feel like some kind of child and I lost it. I slammed my fork on the table and stood up and yelled. Maybe you should consider your straining yourself. Last time I checked, this is the second plate that you've gotten fat bitch. Mary and my boyfriend's dad were shocked. Mary started crying and I immediately felt bad. Before I could even say anything, my boyfriend grabbed my hand and took me to the car and we went home. It was silent on the way home and I just asked if he wanted to talk and he said let's just talk about it tomorrow. He then went to bed and I couldn't help but feel bad. I need to know if I was at a line. So, reddit, am I the asshole for calling my boyfriend's mom fat while at dinner? Fuck?
Speaker 2:no, I also really want to know what these people look like.
Speaker 1:Edit a few people have been asking me what she meant by your kind. Yeah, I don't want to jump to any conclusions because I don't know for sure what she meant, but I assumed it's because I'm black and the percentage of obesity is high in the black community. Update the mods wanted to prove my update for some reason, so I attached it here. First, I want to give big thanks to all of your support and constructive criticism to my original post. You guys gave me some great advice and I read a lot of the comments. My heart goes out to all of you who have dealt with something similar.
Speaker 1:I decided I need to have a sit down talk with my boyfriend yesterday and firstly apologize for calling his mother a fat bitch and said I should have set my boundary sooner. Immediately after I still told him that the way she had been treating me is not okay and I will not tolerate it anymore, and that she pushed me to my limit and I don't want her in my life. What she said was racist and I don't want anything to do with that. He said he accepted my apology and he completely understood where I was coming from and that he understood I didn't want to hear from her in my life anymore. He said that he would have a talk with her about everything. It's his mom and I'm going to let him deal with it.
Speaker 1:I got off work today and my phone has blown up from text messages and missed calls from Mary. She was calling me racist names several times and was degrading me again. Before I responded, I drove home to my boyfriend and asked him what the hell was going on. He said he had talked with his mom and it didn't go well at all. He said that she tried to turn everything around on me and said that I was tearing the family apart. He said that they argued back and forth for a while and then he told her that until she gets her shit together and learns how to stop being such a horrible person, that he will no longer have contact with her. We cried a little and hugged. I know this was a hard decision for him. Nobody wants to cut off their mom. A big weight had finally lifted off of our shoulders and now I think we can finally focus on each other. Again, thank you for all the support you gave. Double heart Isn't that insane?
Speaker 2:That's so insane. But also okay, I get that the boyfriend is on her side and stuff, but all that my brain is saying is run.
Speaker 1:Like I don't care.
Speaker 2:No from that whole situation. Oh she runs, yeah, she needs to get out Like I get that the son, but at the same time she's toxic.
Speaker 1:It's the mom that's toxic, and I get that.
Speaker 2:The son is being great right now. But here's the thing Mothers and sons is a whole fucking breed of what the fuck and?
Speaker 2:I'm not saying all and I'm not saying all, but let's just think of some people in our lives right now.
Speaker 2:Anyone out there.
Speaker 2:You probably know at least one guy that is like just attached to their mom's tit, still Like, and I could name five like honestly, up the top of my head and I don't even have that many friends and it's not fun and coming from the perspective of someone that has had to deal with that and just knowing like there is a part of me, there's so many things that are going on in my head right now and I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to put them in order. One of them is the constant thought that I would think is, if that mom ever dies, will that son resent you that they didn't have much of a relationship with their mom anymore because of that, especially if they are a mama's boy, and also the manipulation that's gonna keep happening because the mom's gonna say something and then act all nicey but then manipulate you away from her, or some of those thoughts might get into your thought, or maybe you had a slight thought about your girlfriend and then your mom knows and, like, maximizes that thought and just gets into your head. There's so many possibilities. So many of these things I've lived through and it's not fun run.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I understand that perspective. I also think, though. I also think, though, it's more than just a manipulation thing at that point with her. Like, the way I'm taking it, like the fact that, like, when you hit the point of that you're racist, like you are a bad person you know what I mean. There's so many things that it's just like you're a bad person, you're a bad person, like that's one of the top notch bad person things in my opinion, and I feel like it's a lot easier to cut somebody out in that scenario. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like it's yeah no, I would also just be very like worrisome of like. Even if the son doesn't have the same ideals as his mom, the thing is is he would have been raised in that family and, coming from me, from someone that was raised slightly in a family like that, there's a lot of undoing and a lot of unpacking that I've had to do in my life that I'm still working through and like, would I ever say something racist in my heart, in my mind?
Speaker 2:I believe that I would never do that. But there's also this part of me that is like it's very easy to. It is very easy to do that and to use that as a weapon and I still don't believe I could. But you know, when you're raised that way, when these thoughts are embedded in you and it wasn't blatant, you know, like it wasn't. Like someone in my family wasn't just saying like I'm obviously not gonna repeat anything, but something saying, something so blatant that anyone would be like you know, it's these little, tiny microaggressions that you grow up with that are just embedded in your head and you have these stereotypes about other people and like it's just something that you actively have to work to change your mind.
Speaker 2:And I don't believe that if, like if this person hasn't been doing that, it'll be very easy for them to turn around and say something like their mother did.
Speaker 1:We grew up in like it was everywhere. We grew up in it right, like I was. Literally we were watching the Aristocats today and there's just that one scene where they have I won't get into it, I won't explain it.
Speaker 1:I know what you're talking about though I feel like a lot of people do, and it's just like it's one of those things where it's like it was in our shows, it was in our TV, like people just said it because it was in quotations okay to say or okay to do, and realistically it wasn't. But here we are now, 30 years later, 40 years later, and we know now it's not okay.
Speaker 2:I watched these movies before and never thought of it. Now it's like there it is, there it is, and you see it so much more because our eyes have been opened. You know, bachman, no, run for the hills like yeah, great. I'm really glad the boyfriend stood beside her and like did that? Like wow, what a great guy. But I'd still be very much have my guard up.
Speaker 1:This was voted as everyone sucks right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, no, you're not the asshole in this situation, Like at all. I would have said some way worse things to that fucking bitch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the fact that they're like, they're saying it everyone sucks because like she shouldn't have called her a fat bitch is basically what they're saying. But it's like if they're making those comments to you, constantly calling you fat, calling you this, and then when he went to his mom and was like let's talk about this, and she decided to drop racist comments on it, that does not make it and everyone sucks scenario. She is flat out a bitch.
Speaker 2:Here's the thing, like okay, so let's say me and you got into a fight right and like I knew to hurt you, like I'd call you a fat bitch.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You'd be fucking like devastated. Here's the thing it didn't just come out of nowhere because you've been calling me fat this whole time, but not in a we're fat like in a normal fat's not a bad word. You've been using it in a mean way, in a way trying to hurt me, and then you're fucking shocked when I call you a fat bitch. And I just gave it back to you because you've been doing it like, even though, like, even though it wasn't calling me a fat bitch, you're just saying like, oh, I'm gonna gain weight and stuff, microaggressions, and they're just gonna keep fucking adding up and okay, well, you think fat's a bad word, then fine, listen to it when it's referred to with you You're a fat bitch. You know what I mean and I get that. Like, I understand that I don't think it's right to call people that. I don't think it's a right to fat shame, skinny shame, any kind of shaming. But you know what? I do believe in a knife or an eye sometimes and it's like you're gonna do that then yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I totally agree, like, normalize the word fat, but at the same time, like, if somebody like it's one of those, as you said, eye for an eye, but like I'm, for me, I'm one of those treat others the way you want to be treated, not treat others the way you've been treated. It's treat others the way you want to be treated. You know what I mean Like, but I mean, since having Harper, I have learned how to set those boundaries where if there are people who are treating me badly, like I, have no issues with being like, nope, bye, like you're not.
Speaker 2:I don't need you. I actually exercised that for the first time last week. But you know, speaking of that the eye for an eye and like needing that justice and stuff that's actually talked about in that book, that I was recommending that everything is fucked. They talk about that because it's talking about like you're driving a car and it's like your thinking brain versus your feeling brain and how your thinking society and everything like they program you to be operating with your thinking brain but your feeling brain's over there pulling on the wheel and it's like we're actually all driving behind our feeling brain and they ended up talking about that, and it's anyway.
Speaker 2:Read that book.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna get too into it.
Speaker 2:But I'm like okay, it's really you know what. I shouldn't have even bothered getting into it, but like it talks about that too. God, I forgot what I was gonna say. There was gosh something about that.
Speaker 1:There was a thinking brain and a driving brain and a the eye for an eye thing. That's what I'm talking about. Yes, that's what it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not a healthy way of thinking. I don't think like if someone just calls me fat, I'm gonna immediately go into them, like it's like you know, you can just walk away from that. But if it's going on and on and on and this is someone that you're gonna have in your life, like she probably shouldn't have let it get to the point of exploding, but like that person knew what they were doing, what's the point in like going on like that? Anyway, last week I was at work and one of my coworkers kept using the R word and I was like, hey, that's a slurry, you know. And they're like no, it's not. And I'm like it's an offensive word and I'm like for you, being someone that's not in that community, like maybe don't use it, because they've said they don't like it. He proceeded to use it three more times because he was like I know that you find it offensive, but and I'm like, listen, boomer, I'm like I understand that you can't get with the day and age, but it is offensive and if you use it one more time, I'm going to exit this conversation.
Speaker 2:Two words and he used it again and so, rather than reacting cause past Christine would have got up and gone. What the fuck did I say to you? Like that would have been exactly how I would have reacted. I got up from my seat, grabbed my bag and walked away, as he's still talking to me. But I went. No, I said I'm not going to talk to you anymore if you're going to continue to use that word Cause. What is the point? Honestly, what is the point in reacting? He's I'm going to look like an asshole. He's going to get embarrassed. Well, he should have been. I honestly wish he had have been embarrassed, but like there's nothing good that's going to come from it. But getting up and walking away shows him that's like I'm not going to sit around and be your friend and listen to you anymore.
Speaker 1:Then have you spoken?
Speaker 2:to them since no cause. Then it was our days and I, oh actually I did send, cause we have a group message me and a couple other people and like he did respond. So like it's, it is what it is, but in that moment I think it mattered. You know, like he might not use the word. Maybe he'll think twice. But like I like. But next time you're not going to get as many chances. You use it again around me. Oh, where Chris go. You know why.
Speaker 2:You know why, I'm gone and I'm not going to sit around and if he could, does continue. Like the problem I hate with people like that is I said a boundary. I said can you stop? I didn't even say stop using that word, cause you know what. That's your choice and one of these days you're going to get laid out if you keep using it. But I'm not going to be that one today. I said can you stop using it around me? Yeah, and he didn't respect that and he just kept using it on purpose at that point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think, like so much in the world, that it's just like people don't understand something and they take that as their excuse to not respect other people's decisions. You know what I mean. And it's like you don't need to understand it to respect it. Like, and how does it affect you in any way? How does it affect you, like in so many ways, like if there's a word that you find offensive and you just don't want to say them, if it's your pronouns, if it's your dead name versus your chosen name, like it's. There's so many things that it's like it affects you in no way and you don't need to understand it to respect it. You don't.
Speaker 1:It's super awesome if you decide to do more research and learn more about it so that you can understand them more, but to respect their decision, you don't need to know or understand it.
Speaker 2:It's not taking away from your life. No it's not. On that note, I do want to say to all the boomers and the boy moms that are listening please don't send me an email If you are not the type of person to do these things.
Speaker 2:I wasn't talking about you. I don't mean all boy moms, it's just like how we don't mean all men. You know it's. If you're not that type of person and if you're a cool boomer that knows how to even operate a cell phone, hey man, you're one step ahead of a lot of other boomers, I know.
Speaker 1:I feel like a lot of boomers know how to so operate a phone. Oh my God, I say so much, I'm not the ones that are bordering my mom, bordering the silent generation?
Speaker 2:Seriously, I think maybe she is, but yeah, no, oh God. I remember trying to teach my mom how to use Google. I'm like it's your homepage. You just need to type in your email address here and this is your password. Nope, like this woman's gonna get scammed. She, she actually almost got scammed by that thing once. The CRA calling.
Speaker 1:I'm like they'll never call you mom yeah. It's dangerous out there. Yeah, check your boomers. I got scammed. Check on your boomers.
Speaker 2:Remember when I clicked that link, yeah, from something I thought was actually legitimately from Facebook. I almost did that. Well, I did it. I mean, what am I saying? Almost I did it. Check your boomers.
Speaker 1:Check your millennials, so don't really know what's going on. Check your.
Speaker 2:The fact that I actually had a common experience with my mom today when she was talking about not being able to operate her TV and how I said that when I'm trying to find something on the box, I get so frustrated I just throw the controller at Rams and go, you do it and I'm like, oh my God, I'm not doing that anymore because I just related to my mother With technology and that's when you knew you got old.
Speaker 1:No, no, anyways this is turning into a therapy session and it's 9.30 here, so I should go to bed, yeah for sure, but this has been great.
Speaker 2:I like those stories. They were really good and I can't wait for the next weeks for our episodes, even though it's coming to an end this year.
Speaker 1:We get to talk about what our goals were for this year.
Speaker 2:I don't remember what I wrote.
Speaker 1:I remember one thing I don't remember anything and it's honestly killing me to not go. Look, I remember that board.
Speaker 2:I had where the only question mark was visit Lisa, and I think that's the only fucking thing I did.
Speaker 1:And it was the one thing that had a question mark. Yeah man, I want to look. Should we peek?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I want to peek.
Speaker 2:No, this is like Christmas story. We have one more week to remember what they are and to accomplish them.
Speaker 1:That sounds like a way too much pressure and be I like honest to God, can't remember anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's for next week. Bye Lisa, bye Chris, bye everybody else, bye Yay.