AITA for making my overweight friend sit in a booth at a restaurant?

Ever wondered how a simple counting quirk can kick off a whirlwind conversation? Join us in this episode as we share Harper’s unique and hilarious counting mishap, which sets the stage for a lighthearted yet insightful chat on managing life’s responsibilities and leisure activities. From the loud clicks of mice to our mutual obsession with games like Catan and Stardew Valley, we dive into the joys and perils of balancing gaming with everyday life. And wait till you hear about my aunt's wild hours spent on Catan for the Switch – it’s a testament to how deeply gaming weaves into our routines and relationships.

But we don’t just stop at fun and games. This episode takes a poignant turn as we tackle the sensitive subjects of obesity, weight loss, and body image within friendships. Can an intervention from a friend ever be the right move? We explore real-life stories, reflecting on the impact of such actions. The conversation delves into texting etiquette, cultural sensitivities, and the importance of empathy when dealing with weight-related issues. It’s a deep dive into the complex interplay between personal health, friendship dynamics, and societal expectations.

Lastly, we don’t shy away from the awkward and uncomfortable moments that come with navigating public spaces as an overweight individual. From unsuitable seating arrangements to group photo fiascos, we share personal anecdotes and call for a more inclusive environment. And just when you think it’s over, we spice things up with a discussion on the healthcare system in Ontario, particularly around the quirks of blood work test coverage. Plus, we throw in a fun comparison to the iconic Nintendo Wii's Mii characters to keep things entertaining. Tune in for a perfect blend of humor, heartfelt discussions, and invaluable insights.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:39

yeah, uh. So are we gonna do? Am I the assholes? How many do we got?

Speaker 2: 0:44

oh, I have oh seven, but like it was just uh I was expecting it to be like two, three and you I saw you keep counting. I'm like holy fuck, did I tell you that harper can count to 10 but forgets five? Sometimes she'll like count a row of things and like she'll be counting something specific, and then another random thing is here, so like she'll have her goldfish and then a muffin, so she'll be like one, two, three muffin oh my god.

Speaker 1: 1:22

Anyways, hi chris hello lisa I'm not accenting well, aren't you fun?

Speaker 2: 1:30

yeah, I'm a hoot and a half. Listen. I had two options. I could have said okay bye. Actually I had three options. I could have said okay bye, chris, and gone and play sims. Or I could have said okay bye, chris, and gone to bed. Or I could have said, all right, let's record emma the assholes. And here we are. So guess which one?

Speaker 1: 1:50

I said everybody listen, that's right, I'm leaving and going to I have the sims in the background, all right, like that's how you do the task you're like building as we're talking. You're like lisa's venting right now, and I've already heard this this week, so I can roof this house I've been in appointments that I don't want to be in, and I will have the sims in the background, and then I am very aware of how loud my clicks sound. I need to stop.

Speaker 2: 2:18

I need a clickless mouse that's actually sims 3, not sims 4, for anybody who's actually a diehard fan. But anybody.

Speaker 1: 2:27

Oh, my god, you know that when you're playing katana on the playstation, you know that song it does like every time, every time I'm gonna play it, I do it and I do it perfectly oh, my god, I'm the same way with Stardew.

Speaker 2: 2:47

When I'm starting off Stardew, I get, I don't. I don't have it in my head now, because I have that fucking Sims music stuck in my head, sims 2. Now this is a problem.

Speaker 1: 2:56

I'm putting thousands of hours in each version seriously, I'm gonna hit 2000 hours real quick on Sims oh girl, that speaks depression.

Speaker 2: 3:04

I'm gonna hit 2,000 hours real quick on Sims.

Speaker 1: 3:07

Oh girl, that speaks depression, my therapist. Now, why do you feel you're depressed? I put 2,000 hours in on the Sims. I think Rams and I have played so much Catan on the PlayStation, and that is only at 137 hours.

Speaker 2: 3:28

So really that that's it. Oh my god. So my aunt I, who listens to this podcast the one that was on the ozempic episode a while back she recently started playing katan and we gave it to her on the switch, like we told her, like you got to play it on the Switch, kind of thing, and she's only been playing for like two months and has already clocked in over 200 hours. Oh, wow, yeah. She's like, well, to be fair, leave the Switch on and leave it alone. I'm like no, you don't do that every time.

Speaker 1: 3:55

Because I realize my face looked really judgmental, but my water was going down the wrong way, just to be clear, because I was like, no, it's fine, I call her when it's like nine o'clock and I just see her like log in in the top left corner I call her and I'm like what the fuck do you think you're doing right? Now I uh, yeah, we have the board games and I also have the app on my ipad. So, yeah, like I'm always playing katan katan's such a good game.

Speaker 2: 4:24

I love katan it is.

Speaker 1: 4:26

I was so excited when you and your parents said that you play. I'm like yes, so we put that all together. Yeah, all right, we got. Am I the assholes today?

Speaker 2: 4:35

yeah, let's do three, me let's do three, and then we'll pin the rest, okay let me just see, let's see what is wrong with this?

Speaker 1: 4:46

oh, there we go.

Speaker 2: 4:47

He could see see was the bottom of the deep blue cc okay.

Speaker 1: 4:51

So there's. Am I the asshole for making my overweight friend sit at a booth in a restaurant? Why did you make her? I assume it's her. Am I the asshole for telling my friend she'd get fat shamed in my home country? Okay, uh. Am I the asshole for agreeing to take a picture that singled out my obese friend?

Speaker 2: 5:13

so far, one and three are good ones you know what the second one is?

Speaker 1: 5:20

I'm gonna read the second one just to let you know okay okay, am I the asshole for holding an intervention for my obese friend?

Speaker 2: 5:27

oh, let's just do that one right now, because I feel like, yes, you are okay, sorry, I'm just.

Speaker 1: 5:36

There's a thing at the end that always makes me laugh when I read it. Um, is it? Lol? No sorry, nobody ever actually laughs out loud when they say lol oh my god, it's so funny when I'm sending you texts because I just go, lol, I don't look every time if I put lol in all caps.

Speaker 1: 5:56

You've made me smile yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I know, sometimes it's like you've even gotten me to laugh. I know, sometimes it's like you've even gotten me to laugh. Yeah, if I'm laughing I'm like LMFAO. Oh no, if I'm laughing out loud I will do capitals. Ha ha, ha ha ha. You deserve the actual almost sound of it. Oh my God, okay, sorry, yeah, if I'm not interested, I give you a smile emoji. Oh good to know.

Speaker 2: 6:24

Now I need to go back and look at all the smile emojis Chris has sent me without the teeth, though without the teeth.

Speaker 1: 6:29

Teeth mean it's funny. Oh my god, anyone that I've ever sent text here? Now I'm gonna go back and re-evaluate.

Speaker 2: 6:37

I know right, sarah is sweating right now.

Speaker 1: 6:41

I would never do that to Sarah okay okay, emma.

Speaker 2: 6:45

They asked for what again?

Speaker 1: 6:47

if we're holding an intervention for my obese friend oh, yes, yes, yes, this sounds intense so I hate. I hate it from this perspective too. You don't know what I mean. I recently lost a lot of weight oh yeah, there it is over pounds. I'm now around 187 at six foot two, and still losing.

Speaker 2: 7:08

Six two.

Speaker 1: 7:10

Yeah, wow, wow. My best friend is obese like I was, maybe 330, and he's 6'1". He's 26. He's not been that supportive of me, especially recently. He's clearly quite jealous and tries to give me unhealthy food and says I'm a twig slash too skinny lol, not quite. I still want to lose 20 pounds. Sorry, I had to read it like that, there's no other way it was written. He, he tries diets often and says it doesn't work for him. I've never really had a proper talk with him about his weight. That was its own paragraph, that sentence right there.

Speaker 1: 7:52

Oh my god, two days ago, my other friend in the process of losing weight and I held him a mini intervention for him he keeps. The way he writes is very interesting. Anyway, we tried to make it just feel like a casual chat, but I guess it didn't work out like that. We told him that we were really concerned about him and we wanted to help him lose weight and join us running or we could go or we could help him on his diet. We told him we noticed he gained a lot of weight during the pandemic and we hoped he was okay and stuff.

Speaker 1: 8:26

We thought he might not know how much he's put on because he still wears clothes that are too small. Everyone knows that they've gained weight. We know. Yeah, you think we don't know the clothes are too small, like yeah, yeah, come on. Anyway, he nodded throughout the whole thing, then later sent me a text message saying to leave him alone. He knows he gained weight and he has binge eating disorder. He's never actually told me that, so I don't know the way he writes. It's so early twenties. He said his weight was none of our business and he said he would rather be fat than miserable and starving. Referring to me, that kind of annoyed me, because I have eating issues, but I'm still a thousand times healthier and happier than before so it's not like I'm starving myself.

Speaker 2: 9:20

Okay, but if you have eating issues, then how come he can't? I have eating issues, so I don't know, but I have eating issues. Like fuck what? You're the only one in this world who can have eating issues.

Speaker 1: 9:33

Sorry, continue, it's okay. And they say, anyway, am I the asshole for speaking to him about his weight? Now, this is the edit that makes me laugh each time.

Speaker 2: 9:45

Just if you know reddit, he goes edit. Why is?

Speaker 1: 9:46

this post being downvoted.

Speaker 2: 9:47

I thought you were supposed to downvote, even though if you think someone's the ass, that's how much of an asshole you were. Yeah, oh my god. So I'm assuming he was voted the asshole.

Speaker 1: 9:56

Yeah, like you know, when people are voted the asshole on reddit.

Speaker 2: 9:59

I'm like oh especially with like a fat topic like what did you do?

Speaker 2: 10:04

yeah, because, like, I don't know, my thing is that comment of it's one thing to like, yeah, I want to look out for my friend, yeah, I want to have this conversation. But like, like, how close are you to this person? If you were, like they're saying they have eating issues, but I don't know, but I have eating issues. So, like I feel like you're not that close with this person to have this kind of conversation. You know what I mean. Like I've said this in the past, how Corey and I have had a conversation.

Speaker 2: 10:34

But I started that conversation you know what I mean. I went to him and I was like I don't want to lose weight anymore, I'm just going to get healthy. And then that's when he said I know what you've said about losing weight in the past. Are you sure this is what you want to do? And then we had an open conversation about it. But if you're just pulling your someone who you're saying is a friend aside and you're basically just saying, like we've noticed you've gained weight, we just want to make sure everything's okay, you should really start losing weight. And he comes back and he says I have eating issues. You're the way you're telling this story and you're saying he said this, so I don't know, means you didn't believe him, which means there's a very good chance that you replied back to him saying well, I don't believe that. I've never seen you have an eating issue. You know what I mean. Like there was nowhere in there what you responded with, which means you were trying to cover something up.

Speaker 1: 11:25

And also the whole thing of I've never really had a proper talk to him about his weight. So you're his good friend, you never had a proper talk with him and now you're going to sit down and have an intervention in front of someone else. Yeah, like the fuck. There was some comments like one person saying I don't mean this in a mean way, but you sound like an alcoholic who's now obsessed with AA and that becomes a whole social life slash new thing, like, yes, you are probably healthier now physically, but the underlying addiction is still there and you and you just need everyone around you to understand how awesome your new thing weight loss is and how they need to do it. But not everyone works that way and you probably just made your friend feel shitty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:13

Yeah, they're the asshole.

Speaker 1: 12:17

Rejected that one is going to its own thing, okay.

Speaker 2: 12:20

You wanted to read number two. If you want to read number two now.

Speaker 1: 12:25

Only because I totally can understand this, because I I questioned someone once about a country that they lived in, um that I wanted to go to and anyway, I'll tell.

Speaker 1: 12:35

I'll tell you the story after because, okay, so am I the asshole for telling my friend she get fat shamed in my home country? I'm at college in the us as an international student. One girl I know at said college happens to be really into my country of origin the culture, the music, the TV shows, etc. Sorry and wants to study abroad there. She does ask me a lot of questions about my country and sort of sees me as the guy from x country with the stereotypes associated, which is annoying, but otherwise she's okay like. I find people like that actually extremely annoying yeah um.

Speaker 1: 13:13

One issue is that she's a little bit on the chubby side by us standards and it is, and is extremely sensitive about people pointing it out for shaming her. My country tends to have much skinnier people than the us and the standards tend to be stringent, so if she's considered chubby in the us, you can imagine what people in my home country would think. Said country can be incredibly shallow with physical appearances as well, as well as blunt when they're talking about them. It's almost a guarantee that she will be seen as overweight and comments will be made about it. I've seen it happen to girls way skinnier than her who'd be considered stick thin in the us.

Speaker 1: 13:55

So when she asked me about my country and what her experience would be like in said country, I explained the pros and the cons and one of those cons, but that was that there's an extreme weight watching and it's considered perfectly socially acceptable to comment on and make jokes at the expense of people's weight. I said this because I wanted her to have this info before deciding to study abroad there, so she doesn't potentially put herself in an upsetting or traumatic experience. But she instead got offended and said that I'm the asshole for implying she's fat. I replied that it's just. The standards are so different so even though she's not fat, she could be perceived that way because the standards in my country are off the charts insane. She still angry and walked away. Am I in the wrong here? I feel like I could have gone about this better, but I do think my intention was good yeah, I would say not the asshole.

Speaker 2: 14:54

I feel like she's got some self-conscious issues going on there, the whole idea of fat being a bad word. You know what I mean. So, um, yeah, not the asshole yeah, um, not at all.

Speaker 1: 15:10

Uh, so I used to. I wanted to go to a country and I knew someone else that had gone there and did a specific job there and I was like, what is it like? And she's like, oh, it's really good. And then she's, like, you know, there's lots of people that like want to take pictures with you as like an outsider and stuff. And then I was like, what is it like? Shopping for clothes there? Like she said, like it's not that easy for like for everyone, and the questions that I was asking her it was like answers like that. So I just went are is it not that great for fat people? And she's like I wouldn't think that it's that great. She's like you know, it depends on how comfortable you are, because people like may stop you and stuff and want to take pictures with you because also like your blue eyes and stuff, but want to take pictures with you because also like your blue eyes and stuff, but because of your size and like there aren't people there that are like necessarily that size. And I was like, oh, like, thanks for telling me. I'm like.

Speaker 1: 16:05

I'm like I was aware of that standard because, like, I've had comments from people from that country in real life that are just very blunt, um, and it's so off-putting, but it's like I would rather know before going than have that shock while I'm there alone. You know it's like. So anyway, yeah, definitely not the asshole. Someone did write in the comments as well, like real quick. They said my scottish friend lives in nepal and she has to import her jeans because she's taller and proportionally wider than most nepali woman. So it's like, yeah, if I live there, you'd probably have to order in my clothes. Yeah, anyway, you said not the asshole too.

Speaker 2: 16:44

Yeah not the asshole okay.

Speaker 1: 16:46

So am I the asshole for making my overweight friend sit at a booth at a restaurant?

Speaker 2: 16:52

and I feel like this could go either way. Like they could either be like you're gonna break the chair, sit in the booth, or they're gonna be like, well, you can't fit in that booth, and like they're trying to prove that they can't fit in the booth, like you know what I mean, like I can see this going. Okay, tell the story. You know the story.

Speaker 1: 17:07

I'm just most of my friends like no, no, that like just not to do that. But when I went to time like the time before last to IHOP with my mom, we sat in a booth because I forgot to say something and it was really busy and we're just waiting for a table and I knew I couldn't go in but I just had to kind of like shove in in the section like right underneath my boobs, to where my stomach starts, yeah, and I could sit there. But I was like I wonder what this looks like from the outside and then getting out, I had to make sure people were really enjoying their food so they weren't watching me get out like yeah, my mom didn't say sorry.

Speaker 2: 17:40

She was like do you want to go?

Speaker 1: 17:41

sit somewhere else. I'm like mom, I'm here now, like I'm in this table yeah, I am one with this table this table goes with me.

Speaker 2: 17:49

I'm attached. Um, I sent you the picture so I'm assuming the previous episode is coming out before this episode. But, um, in the previous the one we just recorded I mean, it's probably out for the people who are listening, but for us right now, we literally just didn't even hang up the phone. We just jumped right into this one sorry, um, but okay.

Speaker 2: 18:14

So either way, I'm in a weight loss program and I sent you guys that picture of the chairs that are in this weight loss program. It's those chairs with the really skinny legs and it's like one leg is in the front and like bends, and then there's one leg in the back that like bends together and like I kid you guys not, there's like a group of us that are in a like supportive group chat, and I sent a picture of this waiting room. I'm like, guys, this is a weight loss clinic waiting room.

Speaker 1: 18:44

Like there is not a single fat person who is comfortable sitting in those chairs seeing those chairs like, honestly it's, it's one step better than those Ikea chairs that have no back legs. Yeah, literally, like literally. I will say, put those in there.

Speaker 2: 19:00

The people at the clinic are fantastic. Like I didn't even have to say anything about food addiction. They brought it up first, so like that was a huge green flag for me. But the second you walk in and you see those chairs, I'm just like hold on.

Speaker 1: 19:11

Is this the right place? Can you do all of us a favor the next time you have an appointment? Can you just casually, if you feel like you can be jovial with them, like, say, I open person, Like I walked in, I sat down, I'm like here's the deal.

Speaker 2: 19:38

And I just like blurted it all out, Right, and she's like you're a really open person. I'm like I yes, I always said how I have a TikTok in the podcast. She wrote everything down so they could be listening to this right now.

Speaker 1: 19:58

And then also on Amazon buying new chairs. Yeah, because when Lisa told me this, I had to think about what my clinic's chairs are and they're like proper, like heavy armchairs. So that's just really funny when I just like, what a weird thing to see in a clinic like that. Have a seat, I'll stand.

Speaker 2: 20:13

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:14

Oh man. Okay, so I'm going to get in the story real quick, but I had a family get together. I have one of my aunts passed away and we were all at the hospital together and we all went over to someone's house after and the chairs that they brought out were the foldable.

Speaker 2: 20:32

Oh, yeah, and.

Speaker 1: 20:33

I just mean God dude, every time I sat down and when I'm like, is this the end? And they even had those camping chairs and watching my mom go into one and almost like she went like into it and I was like, not sitting in those, I'm just gonna keep walking around that's a red flag right there yeah, okay.

Speaker 2: 20:55

Okay, yes, back into it.

Speaker 1: 20:58

Made him sit in the booth. So me, my friend and her boyfriend went out to eat today. My friend's boyfriend is what you'd call obese, definitely, but he's nice and funny too, Right there.

Speaker 2: 21:16

Yes, you are the asshole. We don't even have to finish.

Speaker 1: 21:20

He's nice, he's funny, but he's that funny friend, oh my god, okay, um, but listen, I'm gonna just repeat it again. Okay, but he's nice and funny too, so we don't mind hanging out with him you weren't done the sentence.

Speaker 2: 21:36

How did it get worse?

Speaker 1: 21:40

oh my god it never really gets in the way it. I'm gonna start calling my fat it.

Speaker 1: 21:46

Come on, buddy, don't get in the way today oh my god, can we tell what this is voted already my face is going red, okay, the only real problem is sitting somewhere with booths. The tables in booths don't move, so he's uncomfortable for them. So let's just remember she already knows this. The place we chose is about 90 booths. The other seats are at the bar, are at the bar type area and a small table beside it, since it's a, since it's a small diner, sorry. He demanded, we demanded, did he demand? Okay, he demanded we eat somewhere else because he's too fat to fit in the booth. They quoted that, so I guess he said that last time he got stuck. I told him no, it's her birthday, which is really funny too, because that's her boyfriend. It's her birthday, but it's her boyfriend, and I want to know why she didn't say anything. Okay, wait, I just. I told him it's her birthday.

Speaker 1: 22:48

So we went there. The table was open, but my friend wanted to sit in a booth, since she likes to people watch out the window. So he jammed his way into the booth and not five minutes later he's complaining about the pain and how he can't breathe in his seat. I told him if he lost weight, this wouldn't be an issue. He told me to just be quiet and got all pissy After we ate. My friend had to use the bathroom but he couldn't get out. He tried pulling on the seat and the table but just couldn't get out oh wow, it's almost like he told you that he would get stuck yeah, everyone was staring at him and he started crying of embarrassment.

Speaker 1: 23:31

He couldn't get out. Someone who worked there had to give him a tug to pull him out. Why did the person that work there have to help? Why weren't you helping? He's your friend anyway. He was humiliated, humiliated and said it was all my fault for going there. Am I at fault here?

Speaker 2: 23:50

yeah, why are you questioning this um? Is there an edit? Is there something there's?

Speaker 1: 24:00

no, trying to defend themselves.

Speaker 2: 24:02

No, no, um god, yes, you're the asshole like they're like. It's just like your first three sentences in you were the asshole like.

Speaker 1: 24:16

You obviously don't care about this person okay, sorry, I was trying to get this comment but it was not working. Like so many people like. Um, like, read the third sentence of your post and you can see how fat phobic you are. My friend's boyfriend is what you call obese, definitely, but he's nice and funny too, so we don't mind hanging out with him. What you were saying is so fucking awful. Um, you knowingly humiliated a person you called nice. You humiliated a friend on her birthday. You ruined her dinner. Well, I think they got the wrong person. Um, you butted into parts of a relationship that aren't your business. You are downright cruel. Like, honestly, we're like. What I need to know is what was the girlfriend saying during this? I know, yeah, like. So imagine your friend. So this is a comment.

Speaker 1: 25:14

Imagine your friend took one of the one big thing you were self-conscious, slash, insecure about and forced you to put it on display for everyone to see. And then, when you were struggling with it, your BF told you hey, maybe if you weren't so insecure about this it wouldn't be a problem. I'm sure you would be less than thrilled with that scenario. This is what you did to that poor guy. You refused every common decency to force this guy into a situation he didn't want to be in. You could have easily sat at the table or gone somewhere else, but you put him on display and made the scenario happen. And to add salt to the lemony wound, you told him to lose weight, as if that wasn't something he'd considered before. Thanks, dr, helpful. And to top it off, you couldn't help the poor guy out of the booth. You made a worker come do it. That screams that you were intentionally trying to humiliate this guy. What an asshat you are.

Speaker 1: 26:03

Op. Hey, nana, I know you use a walker and get exhausted after more than five minutes on your feet, but it's my birthday and I want to go to this restaurant at the top of mount kilimanjaro. It's got excellent service. Here's your harness and helmet. See you at the top of Mount Kilimanjaro. It's got excellent service. Here's your harness and helmet. See you at the top.

Speaker 2: 26:19

Literally oh my god, yeah, people suck.

Speaker 1: 26:25

For sure, hmm, um, so, yeah, that was. Was that all of them? Or was there still that one you wanted to hear? That was, oh, the. Am I the asshole for agreeing to take a picture that singled out my obese friend? Oh, fuck right yeah, okay, okay, let's do it it's a little long, but I'm just gonna get through it.

Speaker 2: 26:47

Let's like not talk okay, I'm gonna have facial reactions and that's it, and you're not allowed to say anything about my facial reactions.

Speaker 1: 26:54

I'm just not gonna lie to you, okay. I am really conflicted over this one. On one hand, I'm worried I might have hurt somebody's feelings, but it's also such a non-issue that I almost feel bad wasting my time with it. Anyway, last summer my their female 22, boyfriend male 21, went on a trip to Europe and Asia with six of our friends, three couples. To Europe and Asia with six of our friends, three couples. While in Singapore, we decided to take a picture together that had all of us in the same pose, girlfriends sitting on their boyfriend shoulders. It was supposed to be a cute couple thing, but I guess not. One of the girls let's call her Zoe, who's 22, is well, extremely overweight. I'm not a health expert, but I wouldn't be surprised if she falls under obese. Anywho, the rest of us are in very good shape, so the pose was not a problem. Sorry, I just saw your shoulders going up and down. I'm not even looking at you.

Speaker 1: 27:59

When people write like that, I have to put that persona on. I know.

Speaker 1: 28:03

No, it was so good zoe, however, was too heavy for her boyfriend to lift. When we went to do it, she seemed awkward and almost upset, like she didn't want to do it all of a sudden. We didn't think it was a problem, since she could just stand next to her boyfriend. She agreed. God, it's so hard to not say anything in between. Okay, the rest of the trip was uneventful, but I swear, as soon as we set foot off the plane, zoe started telling anyone and everyone we knew that she wanted to take pictures for the trip to show her mom. But now she can't because she's too embarrassed. I told her she had loads more pictures. Sure, she only has that one from that particular place in Singapore, but we took many more. Most of our mutual friends have been blowing up my phone and telling me I'm an asshole for absolute and an absolutely horrible friend because I hurt her feelings, then dismiss them so flippantly. This is why I don't think I'm the asshole. I can't because I've already read this.

Speaker 1: 29:13

Firstly, oh my god it's like I'm sorry, but here's the thing, because this isn't an edit, she's going. This is why I don't think I'm the asshole and it's like when I'm trying to be a dick, to like rams or something, I'm like first off. Secondly, so when I heard that, it's like firstly, it's like, dude, you're defensive and no one's even come for you yet. All right, firstly, I don't think she actually had a problem with taking that picture. She never objected while we were planning the pictures. Sure, we obviously didn't plan for plan every picture, but we planned some key ones and I distinctly remember planning this one at least a week in advance. If she really had a problem, she could have brought it up the entire time, but no, she waited to make a scene.

Speaker 1: 30:08

Secondly, her and I have known each other since elementary school. We used to be friends at first, but towards middle school and high school she started to resent me. I was really into cheerleading and honestly, I got a lot of male attention. How I appear physically has always been a priority to me, but to her this is just sadly not the case. Sadly, I had a lot of sex in high school and in college so far and she's only been with one guy. It was exactly when I started having casual sex that she began to distance herself from me. She has conservative parents, but I honestly never expected her to have such views. Think about it. Why else would she single me out over everyone else in the group? Almost nobody in real life agrees with me, but I'm having trouble agreeing with their perspective since, let's be honest, there is zero chance they would be impartial. Therefore, I turn to Reddit, the cold hammer of justice. Am I the assholes?

Speaker 2: 31:20

okay, first of all, she is obsessed with this other girl, like the op is obsessed with the girl she's talking about, like it is not the other way around. She has built this up in her head that this girl is obsessed with her and like, how, if you guys drifted apart, how would she know how many people you've slept with? Right, unless it's like you've really gotten around and everyone's spreading it around that you've really slept with a lot of people. But like, second of all, it really doesn't, the number really doesn't matter how many people you've slept with. And I'm getting the vibe that that other girl also really doesn't give a shit how many people you've slept with. Like that, that's just your own factor. Because if she did give a shit about how many people you've slept with, like that, that's just your own factor.

Speaker 2: 32:01

Because if she did give a shit about how many people you slept with, she probably would have made some kind of comment when you were attacking her to begin with. Yeah, you know what I mean. It's like she doesn't give a shit about you. You were making up how much of a shit she gives about you in your head just to make drama, yeah. Second of all, yeah, you were the asshole in this scenario. Like think about like everything that this person just wrote out is like what she truly thinks about this person. So like, why would this person open up and be like, guys, I'm too fat to do what you want to do here, because you're just going to put her down? You're gonna say, like well, then you should lose weight or whatever. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 32:43

Like there is a comment that someone wrote that I absolutely loved. It's a little long but I'm just gonna power through real quick. But this person went. I'm impartial, op. You're the asshole. If this post ended with the story about the photo, I'd be not the asshole. It's a little insensitive to take a photo. That would be would unintentionally single out your friend. But it wasn't a big transgression, but it wasn't a big chance. Okay, we've all been on both sides of that coin at some point in our lives and we move on.

Speaker 1: 33:17

The issue is how terribly you speak of Zoe and the obvious contempt you have for her. Examples One of the girls is well, extremely overweight. There's no need to add extra emphasis of her size because it's written a different way. She never objected while we were planning the pictures. Yeah, she did, because three paragraphs earlier you said when we do it. When we went to do it, she seemed awkward and almost upset, like she didn't want to do it. All of a sudden, they wrote how I appear physically. Oh, and then they also wrote how I appear physically has also been a priority to me, but to her this is just sadly not the case, sadly. Why does she need to meet your standards of physical attraction. Then he wrote you also wrote I had a lot of sex in high school. So that whole paragraph about her having sex in high school.

Speaker 1: 34:10

A few things here. What does either of your sexual history have to do with the story? Two, why would you assume she dislikes you because of your sexual history? Why are you assuming she's thinking that much about your sexual history? Three, even if it's true she dislikes your sexual history, why would you assume that's why she's singling you out? She said explicitly to you and your friends that she is upset about the posed photo OP. Your friends are picking up on how rude you are to Zoe. This is why they are calling you an asshole.

Speaker 2: 34:46

Yeah, yeah. And you know what I was even thinking the same thing as the story was going on. I was like, yeah, she's a bit of a bitch in these scenarios, but like she's not the asshole for wanting to take these pictures, what made her the massive asshole? Was going through stating all the reasons why she's not the asshole for wanting to take these pictures. What made her the massive asshole was going through stating all the reasons why she's not the asshole. It really emphasized the fact of you do not like this person.

Speaker 1: 35:10

Also, they're younger, right? Yeah, did they say that they were Okay.

Speaker 1: 35:13

So they're in their early 20s. Can people not just step back for a moment and put themselves into other people's shoes? And if you have someone that's a bit overweight, can you not just think like, hey, maybe suggesting to do a fucking picture where we have to pick up the other person might not be the best plan. Maybe that's going to put them on the spot. Hey, maybe she also didn't disagree when you guys were planning it a week before, because she was hoping that you guys would get some sense knocked into your heads and not do it like maybe she was hoping her boyfriend would say something to someone. Where was her boyfriend in all this? Wouldn't I'm sorry, but wouldn't the boyfriend want to be, be like, say something in in a nice way to someone else, being like I can't put her on my shoulders, you know, like because it's maybe he's not strong enough. It's not her about being too big yeah, literally.

Speaker 2: 36:01

It's so funny when you were like, when you were like, yeah, like I wasn't able to do that, I'm like that's a problem for the boyfriend. Like he, he needs to start hitting the gym. If he can't do that, that's not a you problem. But then I was like, no, that's body shaming the other way.

Speaker 1: 36:15

We're not gonna say that oh, but yeah, this person just does not sound like a friend. Yeah, they, it's. It's regina george 100 oh 100, oh my god, I love your skirt where'd you get it.

Speaker 2: 36:26

Oh my god, I love your bracelet, yeah 100 ugly skirt yeah, oh, oh, man, all right.

Speaker 1: 36:35

Well, I love it when we get ones where even reddit has been like yeah, no, you're an asshole dude oh yeah, because reddit can be like no fat people are fat people, yeah uh, awesome, nice.

Speaker 1: 36:49

I'm glad we got this in and we have two episodes, which also makes it just so much easier for editing. Yeah, especially when I'm depressed, like, honestly, I can't, you know what it's like you just don't want to move. I keep looking at my couch right now I'm going that looks comfy do you know how many times I've looked at the clock and gone?

Speaker 2: 37:05

I could still play sims do it.

Speaker 1: 37:08

You know what they have. No, I can't do it the same thing as animal crossing. You should be able to visit other people's lands. Yeah, I don't know why they don't have that yet. Okay, well, till next time, whenever that will be, nobody knows you'll be lucky if it's next week. Well, we should actually you and I should text each other next weekend when we feel like we want to do an update and we'll see like has anything changed? Because that's one thing I do want to prevent is repeating the same stuff every week, like, oh, we still aren't doing anything.

Speaker 1: 37:44

Or oh, I plan to go swimming. Three weeks later I still haven't gone swimming. Like I'm just so tired of it, you know, and I just want to have a goal, I want to have a line, I have to walk. That's weird, I don't know.

Speaker 2: 37:57

I get what you mean. Yeah, all right, I want to go to bed. It's nine o'clock here. I'm wired now Cause I had a coffee, so it's nine o'clock and I want to get up at three for the gym. I want to go to the gym tomorrow. I am going to the gym tomorrow.

Speaker 1: 38:12

Send me a text. I'll probably be up.

Speaker 2: 38:14

Okay, I actually have my friend Melina. I don't know if she listens to the podcast or not, but her and I have started texting each other when we go to the gym. She messaged me this morning. She was like I went to the gym and I messaged a picture of me in bed and I'm like I didn't.

Speaker 2: 38:29

I was up late cleaning last night and I was just emotionally and physically drained and I was like I'm just, I'm just not, I'm sleeping in. So but tomorrow I would like to go to the gym, come home, take a shower, drop my husband off at the gym, get my daughter ready for the day and just do the day before it gets to be 45 degrees slash 113 degrees Fahrenheit.

Speaker 1: 38:53

I'm glad you have a gym buddy Um my oh, we don't go together. We just no, no, no. But I that's sorry, I know, but my um, my coworker that I love and who's my work husband and we worked at the gym together just transferred to a different depot and so that oh, so you're getting a divorce yep, I'm. He was the one that came over the other day and I was just like I am I'm.

Speaker 2: 39:14

I just drop off the divorce papers.

Speaker 1: 39:16

I try and not say how sad I am because I'm so happy for him, like he thrives on day shift, but you also make less money on day shift because you don't get the premiums. He doesn't care about that, I do, but also the things you have to do in day shift. I also just don't like you know, like management's around and this and that it's like night shift has a lot of its perks. It also is the reason I'm vitamin D deficient, but you know of its perks. It also is the reason I'm vitamin d deficient, but you know. Anyway, I'm really sad about that and like it's gonna be different going back to work and I'll have to motivate myself to go to the gym, but that's one of the tests that I have to get done with.

Speaker 2: 39:49

My blood work is my vitamin d and I have to pay for that test. It's not covered by ohip. All the other tests are covered by ohip, but that one's not. And they checked off like all the boxes.

Speaker 1: 40:00

What do you mean, though? It's just blood work I don't know.

Speaker 2: 40:04

Different tests are different amounts and different ones are covered by ohip and different ones are not what I'm never moving to ontario, okay.

Speaker 1: 40:10

So my doctor just fills out a form and is like I want to check her for all this, and then I go into life labs. I'm like here's my form and my card and then I just mine's all the same.

Speaker 2: 40:21

That's the same for all mine, and 90% of them are covered by ohip. There's just like the one vitamin d I have no idea, no idea, maybe too many people were asking for it. They're like this is Canada and it's winter. Test me for my vitamin d well, yeah, it's probably just like.

Speaker 1: 40:37

Everyone will be on vitamin d supplements and they'll be like wait, this is Canada also when I like have my hand like this.

Speaker 2: 40:44

It looks like, you know, when knees on the we were around and like they all had just like a ball at the end of their hand. I'm going to bed, okay, bye, lisa, bye chris, yay, yay, bye, I am going to bed.