Midlife Mommas: A Girlfriends Approach to Life After Menopause

Recognizing Menopause Symptoms: Your Body’s Signals for Midlife Health

Amelia & Cam Season 3 Episode 154

Are you living on auto-pilot?
Are you giving away your authority, your autonomy?

We've talked for years about the awful - awesome test. This is just one way to tap into your intuition. It's another way of saying, use biofeedback to figure out what works for you...for your health, for your state of mind, for your relationships, for your LIFE.

Join 2 girlfriends talking about BIOFEEDBACK. We give you the tools to tap into your own knowing for what is going on in your body and how to assess it. We use the acronym SHREDS, from Sam Miller. It's a super easy and helpful way to check in with yourself. We hope you enjoy this episode and decide to take control of your health and your life using YOURSELF as your own best expert.

In this episode, you'll hear: 

1. Understanding the SHREDS Acronym: Discover the six key factors to focus on for overall well-being in midlife, including sleep, hunger and cravings, rest and recovery, energy, digestion, and stress. Learn how paying attention to these areas can positively impact your health and quality of life.

2. Tuning Into Your Intuition: Cam and Amelia share personal experiences and insights on the importance of getting quiet and listening to your body for making decisions about food, social interactions, and more. Find out how the "awesome awful test" can help you make choices that leave you feeling awesome.

3. Recognizing Skin Clues: Uncover the secrets your skin might be telling you about your internal health and stress levels. Discover how paying attention to skin conditions can provide clues about underlying health issues you may need to address.


00:00 Women discuss distrust of doctors and caregiving.
06:00 Eating affects mood and health, seek consistency.
07:37 Increasing use, even for non-food related activities.
11:25 Recognize the impact of menopause, take control.
14:01 Various factors affect sleep quality and patterns.
19:57 R, R, and R: sleep, hunger, rest.
20:59 Travel affects recovery and energy levels, emotional drain.
25:25 Took collagen for gut benefits, helped symptoms.
28:38 Taking ownership of my stress and performance.
32:37 Stress and inflammation may contribute to eczema.
33:45 Midlife challenges: libido, dryness, but manageable.

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Amelia

Cam

Midlife Mommas IG: https://www.instagram.com/midlife.mommas/

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Pain is the last symptom to show up. Not the first stop chasing pain. Hi. I'm Cam, Holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, Laboratory scientist by day and food scientist by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life after 50. You can expect real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the Midlife Mommas. That's pretty profound, Cam. Let's unpack what that means to stop chasing pain, and what does it mean that pain is the last thing to show up and not the first? I feel like it's when your body runs out of options. It's been dealing and dealing and dealing with something, and you've been ignoring it and keep going and just put your blinders on and, you know, keep moving forward, and then all of a sudden your body's like, okay. I'll get your attention, and it sends you pain. Exactly. So we're actually talking about biofeedback today, guys, and we're trying to keep you from getting to the point of actual pain so that you recognize signs and symptoms in your body that something may be going wrong or awry or a miss or whatever word you wanna choose. Recognize that biofeedback into so that you can address it before it becomes actual pain or actual injury or some sort of, like, pathologic process. 100%. You know? And I really truly believe that you are your own best expert, and it's really easy to give away our authority and our body and our with a bunch of women. We have a women's leadership initiative, and the several of us got together. And we were talking about the conundrum of what our last episode was was the sandwich generation and taking care about elderly people. And, one of the ladies, we were talking about, you know, our old people going to doctors and both blindly doing what they say, but then not telling the doctor the truth about everything that's going on with them. I see that repeatedly with my mother-in-law. And this one woman just kinda out of the blue was like, well, I don't really trust doctor. So I was like, you go, girl. I love that you said that. She's like, I'd rather something I don't know what she said. It was something like, I'd rather rub some essential oil on something than take a pill. And that was kind of the gist of it. And some of the other people kinda looked at her funny, but I could totally relate to where she's coming from. But blindly trusting. Why would you want to blindly trust anybody or anything if you're not listening to what's happening inside yourself? I mean, a 100%, 5 years ago, I gave away my body parts to a young doctor, and when I had a complete hysterectomy, I mean, I've lived this life. Yeah. So it sent me down a rabbit hole, and here we are 5 years later talking about how not to do things. Yeah. But you learn, Cam, and I think that's what we wanna tell our listeners is if you're not really in tune right now, if you're used to that kind of passive approach to health where you're listening to doctors or whoever those quote experts are, we wanna help you dial into your own biofeedback because you are your own best expert and you do know your body better than anybody else, even those that have medical degrees. And here's the thing. I think we've been living on autopilot, and so menopause, midlife, whatever, is this great awakening Right. To really, like, what is happening in our lives. I mean, my hysterectomy was a huge wake up call. Like, I'm not an like, I'm not gonna live forever. I'm not invincible. Like, I need to take care of myself in a new way. So that was my wake up call. Yeah. Absolutely. And this is a great time to to ask yourself better questions and to ask yourself questions at all if you're not already doing that. I think that's one of the biggest wake up calls for me is why do I think I feel this way? Why am I and for me, it's less, physical symptoms. It's mental. It's like, why am I annoyed with this person? Why do I feel a certain way? But I asked myself, you know, am I hungry? Am I tired? Like, what's going on that makes me feel this way? 100%. And I learned recently in this last year from working with Lindsay, who we had in the podcast a few, I don't know, months ago. Asking why questions typically makes you go down a rabbit hole and there is no answer. So I would encourage you to start with how, what Okay. That's fair. Instead of why. Because why, like, there is no answer. It just brings you down. So That's really interesting because I find it helpful sometimes because I actually do have answers sometimes. So I think it just depends on the person. Well, what is annoying me about this person, you know, instead of why is why am I annoyed by this person anyway? So Yeah. Yeah. It it's all helpful. Mhmm. So really, when you pay attention to yourself, it's really an opportunity to slow yourself down and ask better questions and really pay attention to your body, rather than operating on autopilot and just giving away your authority to someone else who's not your body, who's not inside of you. Absolutely. So, you know, an opportunity to slow down and pay attention is another really good point. A chance to reverse engineer what's going on and what's go what's working and not and not working. Because I think sometimes we try things, and it may work or it may not. But we kinda really need to understand what's going on. 100%. And so if something is working, okay, where did you where did you, like, reverse engineer? What is what is it about that thing that's working for you? Is there some other stuff that you could add or take away to make it work better for you? So that's what I mean by reverse engineer. And, really, this will serve you for life. This is not like a one and done. So we're gonna get into the nitty gritty But like if you eat something and you feel crummy that is information for your body that the next time you choose to eat that, you may feel crummy. Like, there's a connection there. And I love that you say that it's a it's you know, will serve you for life because what I found is I want the quick answer. So when I when I see that so I feel great because I ate something or didn't eat something or conversely for this is a great example. I'm not sure, but for a long time, I was convinced that straight up dairy products, cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, made my hot flashes worse. And so I avoided them. Well, I've slowly integrated them in, and sometimes it seems to make them worse and sometimes not. So I don't I want it to all I want whatever works to always work or whatever doesn't work to never work. I I really love the black and white, and that's not really true. So that's part of the reverse engineering for me personally is accepting that what works today may not work tomorrow. It's worth a try. Mhmm. But I love that kind of, like, I want it to be true and move on and then not have to consider this again. And I have found that that doesn't always work. Absolutely. And with your hot flash example, so what other combination of foods? What was your emotional state? Because we know that hot flashes are tied to emotions. So there's so many variables. You know this for science. There's not just one variable. So it's hard to say it's only cottage cheese when there's other things happening. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, the simplest way to do this is called the awesome awful test, which we have not talked about in so long. And so whenever you do something or whenever you eat something or whenever you're around somebody, and afterwards, you can ask yourself, do I feel awesome or do I feel awful? And, like, literally, if you just tune in for a moment, your body will tell you yes or no. That's good for you. That's not good for you. And, you know, I've actually started using it more and more, Cam, not with just with food. Because when I first started this awful awesome, I kinda used it more with food and with hanging out with people. Those were the kind of the low hanging fruit for me. But I started doing it with other things, like accepting invitations to do things or committing myself. And then I kinda know as soon as I in my mind without verbalizing it to the inviter to be like saying to myself, oh, yes. I'll commit to this. What is my immediate feeling? Am I really happy and joyful and excited, or am I dreading it? So I've really used it in a lot of different ways, and it's really helped. And this is kinda stupid, but even with regard to because I do use retail therapy. I'm embarrassed to admit that, but I do. But if I'm considering a purchase, like a pair of shoes or, a tote bag or a I mean, it doesn't matter. A pair of candlesticks. I don't care. And I'm thinking I, quote, need these. And when I think about, I'm gonna spend x amount of money. Sometimes I really am like, oh, I really don't need that, and I feel like a sinking in my chest. And I know that that's not the right thing to do. So you really can use the awful awesome test in almost every decision point. I mean, you really don't need to, like, do I need to put my shoes on or not? Not? But you know what I mean? Like, you know, there's some with some things, it's really helpful, and it's so easy, and it's free. It's a 100%. And also, I just wanna say you're tying into your intuition. Intrameling. That's what this is, really. So the way to do this is you get still and you be quiet and you really check-in with yourself. I like to breathe. If I can be outside, I love sitting on the deck and doing this wherever I am, but you need to get quiet and really tune into yourself. Basically, you're just grounding yourself and letting that answer bubble up for you. Now you could ask yourself, Amelia, which shoes should I wear? True. Which shoes should I wear? You could ask that. Yeah. Absolutely. And I think really tuning into your feelings, and I don't know if it's because I'm such you know, we talk I I kind of use as a crutch many times to talk about me being an Enneagram 3. And I if you know anything about the Enneagram, the threes sometimes aren't always in tune with their emotions. So I have to work at that. That's not I'm not a touchy feely emotional person, so I have to kind of really work at it. And so if that's you, if you're like the go, the doer, the accomplisher, this may be something that feels unnatural at first, but it is doable. Like, if I can do it, anybody can do it. Like, it it is achievable, and then you feel so much more at peace. And I think that's the take home for me is when I'm able to accomplish this and and tap into to my my true self and my intuition, I feel at peace. I don't feel this yearning, this churning, this restlessness that I feel otherwise. That's very insightful, Amelia. I love it. I'm trying, girl. I'm trying. Do you feel it anywhere specifically in your body? Like, I'm a gut person. Okay. No. No. I mean, some it will be like a catch in my a catch in my throat or almost a skipped heartbeat, but it's very brief. And it's a very similar feeling to when I almost avoid a car accident, like, oh, my god. Thank goodness that didn't happen. So it's it's not a sustained physiologic feeling. Interesting. And the lump in the throat, I get that when I need to say something. So, like, that's my that's my cue. And then you your heart's speaking to you, too. I just love that. Anyway, did you know that there are 34 known symptoms for menopause? Holy cow, that's a lot. And if you went through like a traditional perimenopause and a menopause and a postmenopause situation, you probably thought you were going crazy, and you may have been prescribed birth control pills and or anxiety pills when you went to the doctor because of all the things that were happening to you. I don't know. Yeah. We've talked about that, and I think, some of the listeners that I know personally have been astounded by this fact because, they didn't know that, and, of course, their doctor didn't tell them that. So, it is it is profound for some people, maybe not for others, and I did think I was crazy. Like, I I had a little bit of paranoia going on. I didn't really wanna interact with people so much. So, perimenopause and menopause are life changing events, but you don't have to be just a passive perk. I don't say I wanna say passive. How do I wanna say it? You cam take part in this transition and not feel like a victim. Really, I think the reason why I brought that up is for us to be curious about what is happening with our body. Mhmm. And so you can advocate for yourself when you go to the doctor and you ask for bioidentical hormones or whatever. You have you have information about yourself, and, also, you're, like, true in your symptoms, so you don't get swayed into a pharmaceutical that's not gonna serve your needs, like birth control pills. That's not gonna help you. And also, I mean, I love my bio identical hormones. I'm not gonna lie. But everyone's journey is slightly different. So I don't want to dictate for someone else what they should do or not do. And I feel like the traditional Western medicine, that's what they wanna do. They wanna treat everybody the same. And I like to think that we're all a little bit unique. I I like that and that's again why we should pay attention to our biofeedback for sure. And, also, I just wanna say there's 34 known symptoms, but I guarantee that number is higher than that. Like, I just like ring ringing in your ears is another one that's not on the list. But that's a, they think is related to the loss of estrogen. And so there's enough, there's 35 for you. Anyway, we're gonna kinda go through an acronym to help you check-in with yourself, and the acronym we're using is SHREDS. So, s h r e d s, and that will help you remember. This is from Sam Miller in the functional nutrition metabolism specialization, which is a really big mouthful. But, anyway, this is something that works when I check-in with clients to see how they're doing. So we're gonna start with s, which starts with sleep, which is our number one. Yes. It's my number one for sure, Cam. I love an acronym, by the way, so thank you for giving us that. You're welcome. So s is for sleep. So do you fall do you fall asleep easy? Do you wake up at night? So that's a big one. I fall asleep super easy. I woke up I think I woke up 4 or 5 times last night. That's not every night, but that I did wake up a bunch of of course, it was thunderstorms too, so it may have been part of that. That's what I was did you go to bed with a full mind, or was it something else? So it sounds like it was something else. Yeah. Yeah. But just being curious about that, if that's not your norm, and you're like, why did this happen? Oh, I ate late. Oh, that must be it. Or I watched that TV show that was disturbing or whatever, read a book or something. You know? And in the morning, how do you wake up? Do you feel refreshed? Do you feel fired and tired, which is no way to wake up? There are definitely things that interrupt your sleep, such as alcohol, ate eating late, or extra stress, or late exercise, anything like that, even blue light, something like that could disturb your sleep. So that would be a really easy place to look if you're noticing those symptoms yourself. Yeah. Absolutely. Sleep sleep is one of my big time priorities. So how do we get better at, like, dialing into good sleep? Getting the morning light on your eyes first thing is really a good idea because what you do in the morning sets you up for having better sleep at night. So, you know, my mother-in-law, bless her heart, I've brought her up a lot because she's on my mind, but, you know, she stays up really late and then she sleeps really late. So she's really having a hard time getting out of that cycle. So if you can break the cycle by actually letting that sunlight in in the morning, that's a great place to start. Yeah. Have you ever wondered, like, why does your stomach growl when it's time to eat breakfast? Like, have you ever wondered about that? Well, the only the only way your gut knows exactly what time it is is the daylight coming to your eyes and your eyes telling your organs which are deep inside of you, but don't get light what time it is. So our eyes are the gateway, if you will, to like our body clock. So it's easy way to start. What a great correlation there. I love that. And you've already mentioned things like, the blue light or overhead lights at night in your home, but there's also, you need to make space between your life you know, your daytime life and your bedtime, and that could include things like getting pets out of your bed or making sure that your room is dark and cool. So you can do some things to make sure that your sleep quality is cool. Here's an update at our house. So the dog is sleeping on the dog bed on the floor. So he doesn't jump up, like, nearly as much in this house. But the cat Luther, he sleeps right in my belly, which is fine. It's very snuggly. He's a Velcro cam. So it doesn't he doesn't wake me up. But we're down to 1 instead of 4. So it's good. That is good progress, Cam. Great progress. Okay. H stands for hunger and cravings. I stuck cravings in here because hunger and cravings kinda go together. You know, are you always hungry? Are you never hungry? Because both of those are signs of stress. I hear that often. I'm just not hungry. And I'm like, that's stress. Yeah. Absolutely. And, you know, I think more true for me is mindless eating. It's It's something to do with my hands and my mouth, especially like carby carbs or crunchy foods are a great comfort when I'm stressed. So, hunger and cravings are hard to separate for some people because what they think is hunger, it could be thirst, it could be a craving. And so you have to that's part of this intuition. That's part of this biofeedback is asking yourself the questions before you grab that bag of chips or before you grab that Snickers bar. I hate, hate, hate, Cam. I think it's a Snickers commercial. I'm probably gonna be censured for for saying this. But the whole, like, that commercial where you become someone different when you're hangry and they hand the guy Snickers or whatever the bar, I'm like, I hate that because people do really relate to that, and there's so many better things that you could grab. So I think some people really have a hard time yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, there are times and I'll be like, oh, I just ate my emotions or I'm in the middle of eating my emotions and it's like awareness is half the battle. And yes yeah and so if you can acknowledge about that yourself yourself when you're in the middle of it or even after so at least you know going in the next time Are you really hungry or is it another emotion? Yeah. Exactly. And I think some people, do definitely eat their emotions, but I think some people that you mentioned not being hungry, that emotion takes over the energy to be hungry. Mhmm. And I don't really know how to describe it. That's not a very accurate depiction. Since I've upped my protein, I can tell you that hunger for me doesn't feel like the stomach growling that it used to. I start feeling a little bit lethargic. My brain function isn't as good. Like, I get annoyed, and I'm like, oh, I've had it. Yes. Yeah. I'm like, how what a what a groundbreaking idea. Yeah. So, yeah, for to start here, just notice your food and your combination of foods and really kinda come up with either, like, a physical list, write it down, or mentally take note what's working and what's not working for you. That's a really great place to start. You know, for example, let me think of a food that makes me feel crummy. I can't think of one right off the bat. You know, the ones that make your stomach hurt or you feel really bloated and gassy, like, your body is telling you something that this is not okay. Yeah, absolutely. Wait, let's talk about cravings for a second. A lot of times cravings other than like emotional things, maybe your body is craving a certain thing. Maybe you need salt, maybe you're missing your electrolytes, or I used to crave French fries. And I know that's the time in my life when I was craving fat. And so and salt on that one. So dig a little bit deeper, like what's behind the craving? Take a minute before you shove it in your face. Like, what is behind the craving to see if you can connect some dots. And I mean, for me, Cam, I will crave meat when I maybe have worked out more than my protein consumption. I do crave salt in the summer when I've sweated a lot. So some of these things are, you know, when you think about, it's pretty intuitive. Yeah. We just have to slow down and pay attention. Exactly. That's that's what it is. Deciphering our body language, what are literally our body saying. All right. So the next one we've done, S is for sleep, H is for hunger and craving. So now we're R And for rest and recovery, that's also a big one. And rest and recovery are different from sleep, so I'm glad that they're listed separately. Because rest doesn't have to be sleep. It can be just the cessation of constant movement. And I have to remind myself that that's important because as a doer, as a verb, I love to do. And sometimes I don't recognize the need for rest and recovery, and then, of course, the wheels come off and I just become a mess. But, rest and recovery is vital. A 100%. And, like, how you bounce back from illness or exercise, those are also indicators of your rest and recovery. In my late forties, I would say it's called, low energy availability. It's actually a term. And you just don't have the energy because you are not letting yourself restore and rest and recover. And so I know what that feels like. I don't ever wanna go there again. Yeah. And, you know, for me, Cam, it happens with travel. So I've been traveling a whole lot with work, and I'm sleeping at night on my trips, But I don't know I've really paid attention to the biofeedback to understand when I come home, especially if it involves travel across time zones, what does recovery look like for me in this moment? Because it may not be actual sleep, but maybe where I would walk 5 miles on a Saturday morning, if I've traveled that week, maybe it's only 3 or less. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I just really scale back based on recovery from anything. If you've been through a really difficult emotional week, like, you and I have both had, old people issues. If you've had issues with your kids, that takes a lot of energy. There may be some recovery required for emotional drain. I love that you brought that up because it's not just physical energy, like time zones and workouts, but it's also emotions for sure. And so you know, what does restore you? Maybe it's a walk in nature, maybe it's time alone, maybe it's a nap on the couch, Like, what whatever it is. Yeah. So being aware that it's okay. And and also reframing it that you're not lazy. Like, we need to stop that, thinking that we're lazy because we're not doing all the time. Absolutely. Absolutely. And that just kinda brings up the next one, which is energy. So energy and, to me, rest and recovery and energy, I think of almost like a circle. Like, it's a constant circle of rest, recover energy, and they're not mutually exclusive. Like, I'm not always high energy or at rest. There is a little bit of overlap there. But what is your energy like throughout the day? Do you crash every day at the same time, and then you're reaching for the chips or the whatever? I can say that now that I'm taking a B complex, I don't have that very frequently. I get tired at night. Like, after dinner, I'm like, I'm glad that it's nighttime. Mhmm. But I don't lose steam too badly in the middle of the day anymore. I used to around 2 o'clock, but now I'm like, I might not wanna do the highest acute you know, mental acuity tasks at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I want you to do those early, but I know how my energy cycles run, and I want to honor that. 100%. And I think that's part of it. I love getting stuff done in the morning. And as the day goes on, I just get slower. And then by dinner time, I'm done. Like Yeah. Yeah. No more no more work. Yeah. It's time to restore, however that is. But, Cam, don't you think there's a difference between allowing the natural the the day's rhythm to naturally go from high energy to low. There's a difference between that natural progression and then just totally bonking it, like, 2 or 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I feel like I used to, especially when I was taught school or yeah. Like, midafternoon, I just wanted to sleep, eat the kitchen, and then sleep. Yes. My blood sugar was probably, like, bonkers and then crashed. And then I was yeah. So I'm glad that that stage feels mostly over for me. Yeah. I agree with you. And I think I don't know about for you, but for me, I probably wasn't managing the other ones well, the hunger, the sleep well. So that led to this vicious cycle of energy depletion and then eating things that satisfied the craving. So it I don't even I don't even I kinda don't even wanna talk about that because it was so bad, and I feel so grateful not to be there anymore. Yeah. Well and also the there's hope for everybody. Every you can get better at all these things. And also what you're saying is one thing leads to improvements in another category. So Absolutely. Yeah. And when it comes to improving these things, pick the easiest start with the easiest thing for you. We call it the low hanging fruit. Like, what is the most obvious the first step for you? That's where you should start. Absolutely. So we've got sleep for s, we've got h for hunger, we've got r is rest and recovery, e for energy. What is d? Digestion. Bloating, gas, feeling really full even though you just ate a small meal. All that is not normal. And that's cues for your body. Like, maybe you were upset when you ate, maybe because emotions are involved in this. Or maybe you ate something that upset you. Like, so there's, you know Wow. Yeah. 2 sides of the same coin. But I just wanna say serotonin, the majority of our happy hormones, serotonin is made in our gut. And if we are eating food that doesn't make us feel good, that's going to affect your happy hormones. So there's definitely a a a gut connection here for sure. Yeah. Absolutely. One of the reasons I started taking collagen years ago was for the gut benefits of collagen to to help some of those symptoms. I've told this story before, but I had bronchitis or some kinda infection. It was god. I should knock on wood. It was the last time I actually had to take an antibiotic, and it messed me up kinda bad. And somebody a a lady that I worked with was like, have you tried collagen to correct that? And I'd never heard that before. This was probably 7 or 8 years ago. Mhmm. And it actually worked, and I kinda never quit taking it. But the other thing I started back, Cam, I don't think we've talked about this. I'm actually back on a probiotic. I kind of go in cycles with probiotics, but I'm back to taking 1. And my digestion and elimination is pretty good. Yeah. I take one as well. It's a prebiotic and a probiotic, and it's amazing. It's cleared up my skin, everything, so and also elimination, which we might as well talk about because that's part of digestion. And so this is definitely something my mom never talked to me about. Frequency. Do you feel complete when you go to the bathroom? Volume, size, shape, all that stuff. And also, you can use the Bristol stool chart that you like. Check check it. Check it out. There's lots, you know, we're we're beyond our thirties now, but there's a lot of science coming out that says, people, younger people are getting colorectal cancer. So if you are always struggling to poop, that's not a good sign. I mean, you know, I've I've had a couple of colonoscopies at this point in my life and everything is good, but I do pay attention. Like, I'm one of those weirdos that checks the toilet. Like, I feel like you have to do that. Mhmm. You know, because if you don't feel like you've eliminated completely or you still feel bloated or it's really hard to pass, that may be a sign that something's not quite right. 100%. So it could be as simple as fiber and water or it could be something else. Absolutely. So your diet's definitely tied to this as well. And we should mention urine, like color and frequency of urine, that is also, we'll just put that in the digestion. Yeah. Okay. More or less. Yeah. But, oh, stress. Stress affects your bowels as well. So if I've traveled a lot, it's not just about the food. If I've done a presentation or I've just I felt more stressed or nervous, the next day, my elimination won't be as complete or it'll be a little I'll struggle a little bit more. So, like, we know that the gut is the home of a lot of things. I think, you know, 15 years ago, we thought, oh, it's just food. It goes in, it goes out. And we now know, just like you said about the serotonin, there's so much that goes on down there. Yeah. And actually, the last s in, shreds is actually stress. And I added mood to that too because I feel like stress and mood kinda hang out together. So, yeah, there are definitely times that stress will affect all of these things. It'll affect your hunger. It'll affect your bathroom habits and etcetera. Your sleep. Yeah. It's it's all of those things, how you feel rested and recover if you're just stretched, if you're just running on fumes. So, you know, or do you feel easygoing, or do you feel irritable? When I feel irritable, that's a sign for me that I'm under too much stress. I'm doing too many things at once or whatever it is. So it's an opportunity for me to dial it back. That's my signal. Do you have one for your stress? I mean, you know, mine aren't as well defined as yours because well, I don't know why. I probably haven't done the work to identify what those things are because for many years, I felt like my stress was not controllable, that it was something that happened to me. It's only been in the last probably 9 or 10 months, maybe year, that I've really taken a hold to say I own this. And, you know, it's gone beyond just my stress, and I use air quotes for that. It's more because part of my stress is job performance. And I'm starting to own, Cam, the idea that I'm gonna own my performance. I'm gonna do the best I cam. But what other think people think about that or how they react to that is not my business, and I can't control it. Mhmm. And that's the epiphany for me is letting go of those expectations to want to, like, micromanage how other people see me. And that's been really hard, but that has alleviated the stress because now I'm like, I can't control that. It's it I can't I cannot say that I honestly don't care because I'd be telling you a lie. But to be able to recognize I can't control that and I I shouldn't stress about it. Yeah. I remember the saying, the only thing you can control is your reaction to something, not the thing. That's right. So it's what That's right. It's kind of what you're saying. Absolutely. Yeah. Stress is a booger, for sure. It is. And I feel like we grew up, it was like a badge of honor to be stressed out and do all the things and multitask and act crazy and, yeah, juggle everything. And I just think that's such a big fat lie anyway. It is a big fat lie, and I find myself because of that quote, badge of honor, I'll be really I'll put on my judgy pants with other people too. Mhmm. It's like, oh, they were just on vacation last week and here they're gone again. That's crap. Like you, you do you, boo. Like, you know, that's none of my business. What am I doing? What it really means is you wish you were on vacation. That's exactly what that means. But again, owning just my own self and not being having my little busy body nose in everybody else's mess. That's so funny. But you have to learn that. You have to practice that. And when you find yourself having those judgy thoughts or judging yourself or feeling stressed about what other people think, you have to dial that back. You have to do it as much as, yeah, you have to actually tell yourself. Because if you don't, you go down this rabbit hole, and then there you are in the stress bucket. Yeah. I I had a I actually, I think I wrote it on the Wednesday's email. It's like when that happens, just pause and say to the thought, thanks, I got this. Thanks, thought, but I got I got this under under handle. Anyway, it would be serve you to have like a way your favorite ways to handle your stress and have them in your back pocket. We I think we talked about it last week, like what serves you what like takes the burden away from your body and your mind and your emotions, have some of those in your back pocket. So you know what works for you. And there's a ton of things like walking in nature, go sit in the sauna. I mean, you know, whatever, meditate. There's so many things you can do. Yep. Absolutely. And there's actually a couple of other things that we have on our list that I think are really important, to talk about the way your body communicates with the with you. And the first thing is skin. Mhmm. Your skin is a it's your largest organ, and it can really tell you something about your general state of health. Yeah. It keeps your insides in and the outsides out. Like, literally, it's your it's your barrier. And so, you know, like, where is the acne if you have acne? Where is it on your face? There's face maps you can look up on Google because it kind of outlines where organs might be affected, gives you a little clue to the root cause. For me, in the past, especially right around the hysterectomy, I would be very systematic, and I'd break out in rashes. And that was like I was very sensitive. That's when I started taking collagen, that was 5 years ago, to heal my gut. I'm like, why am I getting these crazy rashes all over my face? So, you know, histamine and rashes is part of the 34 symptoms that have been acknowledged for menopause. So if you're noticing like histamine reactions that's telling you something that's something's going on. We've talked about this because I have some mild eczema, and you told me long time ago that that you're that you had eczema at a point where you were really stressed. And I really didn't believe it. I honestly was like, I don't think it's that. Now I still have it a little bit, but it's not nearly like it was. So it could be eczema. So some of these things, there's a lot I'm not a doctor or a nurse or a medical professional in any way, but autoimmune things are on the rise where your body, like, starts attacking itself. And I think a lot of that has to do with all of the inflammatory things where we're thinking, we're feeling, we're touching, you know, with our skin and ingesting. There's a lot of inflammatory elements in our environment, and I think it's having a profound effect on health. 100%. And trauma, like trauma, is related to autoimmune, which I know you're gonna be like, what? So having something dramatic happen in your life is tied to autoimmune. And then also, I just saw another report that Epstein Barr is also somehow related to those. Yeah. But that's like a virus. Right? But that's also your body under stress. But the trauma is very interesting, so I'll just plant that seed. Yeah. And one of the final things, libido sex drive, we we don't dip our toe into this subject very much, but, we hope that you're still sexual beings in your midlife. And so there are a lot of things that that aren't fun that you undergo in midlife with menopause. Your sex drive may drop. Vaginal dryness is another one that a lot of people experience. So just know that you're not alone here and that this is part of experiencing midlife, that you can do something about it and it's part of your biofeedback. Yes. Absolutely. And it's a lot because of the loss of estrogen, these things are happening. So just so you know. You know, and also in your physical body, like, if you do have pain, like, for example, I've mentioned before lower back pain, that actually might be your adrenal saying, hey, lady. You're stressed out. And so lower back pain may not actually be your lower pack. It might be your, your adrenals or maybe it's your glutes and hamstrings. That was very common in the cross fit world. Maybe you're sitting on your booty too much Yeah. Yes. And you've laminated your butt. And so maybe you that's why your back hurts. Maybe you need to stretch that. So that's just, you know, I people do have back injuries, but there's other reasons as well. That's all. Exactly. Exactly. Well, this is you know, let's go back through one more quick time. SHREDS is the acronym for sleep, hunger and cravings, rest and recovery, energy, digestion, and stress. I think those are great. If you can dial in to just a few of these at a time, I just think you'll feel so much better and feel so much more empowered to be the best you you can be. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on Instagram@midlife.mommas For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below, and we will talk to you next week.

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