The push and pull of life: Finding balance in midlife

We all try to do it - find balance. Sometimes we may actually achieve it. In this episode of the Midlife Mommas, Cam and Amelia talk about the push and pull of life as it relates to masculine and feminine energy. You may have never thought in these terms before. The masculine - demanding schedules and structure, timelines, accomplishments, working in 24 hour cycles; versus the feminine - more flow and flexibility, nurturing, honoring our cycles of energy. 

Even if this sounds a little hoo-doo-ey to you, it's worth a listen. We think you'll find value in examining how you expend your energy. Maybe you're doing everything exactly right, or maybe your energy could use a little tweaking. Information is power. 

00:00 Addressing physical imbalances through structural integration alignment.
05:19 Balancing structure and flexibility in daily life.
08:34 Balancing masculine and feminine energy in management.
11:49 Balance masculine and feminine energy in fitness.
14:18 Listen to your body's yes or no.
17:08 Understanding women's cyclical nature and need for space.
19:50 Utilize moon cycle for fitness training balance.
24:59 Look into childhood dreams for balance.
28:29 Managing energy, digestion, and stress in menopause.
30:52 Deprogram negative self-talk, manage stress, stay aware.

In this episode, you'll hear: 

1. Understanding the significance of balancing masculine and feminine energies in daily life, and how this balance can impact overall well-being at midlife.
2. Insight into practical ways to tap into feminine energy through activities like art classes, playing music, enjoying nature, and embracing creativity.
3. Tools to manage stress, including alternative meditation methods, recognizing and honoring energy cycles, and exploring stress management techniques like journaling, meditation, and spending time o

Stay Connected!
Amelia

• Website: https://www.thehelpfulplate.com/
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/thehelpfulplate/

Cam

• Website: https://www.camoyler.com/
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/heymomma_cam/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heymomma_cam

Midlife Mommas IG: https://www.instagram.com/midlife.mommas/

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Transcript

0:00

Your energy introduces you even before you speak. Where your focus goes, your energy flows. Hi. I'm Cam, Holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, Laboratory scientist by day and food scientist by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life after 50. You can expect real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the Midlife Mommas. Those are awesome quotes, Cam. So what are we talking about today? We're talking about the push and pull of life, feminine and masculine energy, and heads up, we have both. That's amazing. I love this topic. You kinda introduced me to it. I'm sure that I had some introduction before, but I just love that we can actually I think analyze is too strong a word. Maybe that's a masculine word, but we can actually be present and we can actually understand our energy cycles better to maximize the the joy in our life. 100%. And it goes back to our menstrual cycle, which we are no longer menstruating. However, I feel like this is definitely something my mama didn't tell me, like, learning how to honor and respect your energy and understanding that we have both masculine energy and feminine energy. And we're gonna get into the nitty gritty details exactly what does that mean? How does it show up in your life, what do you like, what could you lean into more to more to have more balance in your life? I agree. We all need balance, and I think it's hard, you know, especially if you're not paying attention. We talk about this all the time about being intentional, and this is a great place to start, I think. 100%. And we're talking about our physical body too. Like, masculine energy is the right side of your body and the feminine energy is, like, the left side. And we've talked in the past about how we store emotions in our body. So here's an example. If your right knee is bothering you, that's your masculine masculine energy and the knee represents moving forward. How do I know this? Personal personal experience. I've also had left knee issues. So that would be your feminine energy and not stepping ahead into your life moving forward with that. That's just an example. That's a great example, and I can actually, give not an example, but kind of some physical things. I've actually my right side, like, the hip area has been a little jacked up for probably 15 years, and I know, I get structural integration alignment, and so I know that. But a lot of times, my right hip will move forward and up maybe, and she always says, you've got to settle this right hip down. So that's a great cue for me. Maybe I'm out of whack in that masculine energy area. And, you know, interesting because women tend to hold a lot of emotions in their hips in that area in general. And so the fact that it's on your right side maybe gives you some clue of, like, what does that actually mean in my life? Like, beyond the physical, like, what else is there underneath that physical pain, if you will? Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, I I haven't explored this nearly enough, but I think it's such a valuable place. And when you stop to think about it, I think it gives us more peace just to even consider it. Exactly. Because we are an energetic body. If everything is energy, which I believe it is, then what what clues are our body giving us to help us understand ourselves deeper? And this loops into the midlife awakening because I don't think we're just here to hit the punch card and just go through life not even paying attention. I really don't. No. I agree with you. I mean, that would suck, honestly. Yeah. I just I feel so bad for people that do that kind of punch the card and keep going without looking at what brings them joy and happiness and what actually brings them down. So if I'm not wrong, we're gonna get into a little bit of that today. Yeah. So let's just kinda define what masculine energy looks like, feels like, shows up as, and then we'll also do that for feminine. So masculine is like strict schedules and deadlines and structure. And if you think of, I don't know, an executive that, like, I have this to do list and I have to do this and we can't run over and it has to be this way kind of energy. Yeah. And also working on a 24 hour energy cycle, which is easy because there's 24 hours in a day. And I think some of this, we we said we we people have both masculine and feminine. So there's some aspects of our culture, unless you're, living off the grid somewhere, that it's necessary to have this. But maybe you're pushing too hard and you have too much of it and it's causing stress and anxiety. Yeah. And I I would say this showed up in my earlier years, like, the go go go kind of mentality to do list. Definitely, when the kids were younger and I was teaching school, definitely, like, you had to be in the classroom in a certain time. You could only use the restroom in that 15 minute lunch break. Like, that was very masculine energy for me during that life. I mean and I still live a life of structure. I mean, I have a full time job where I have to. There are days that I have to be a certain place, and I I embrace that. But I think the beauty of the the balance comes in to realize when you don't have to be that way. Because if you live that way a 100%, I think, for me, it causes stress and anxiety. So tapping in to when you have to be somewhere like, if you have a doctor's appointment, that's a time. Like Yep. You can't just show up 30 minutes late. No. You can't just flow into that. Yeah. Exactly. So I think just realizing that this is a this is a choice and something to pay attention to, but but you tap into your feminine energy, tap into your flexibility when you can. Yeah. And then, like, if you're only doing your to do list and you're not, like, grateful and appreciative and all these feminine energies, then you're just, like, literally going through life like a robot. Right. We don't want you to be a robot. Yeah. For sure. And, you know, one of something we we we talk about in our notes, the hustle culture, And there were some buzzwords some years ago, Cam. I don't know if they're still out there. You know, girl, boss, boss, babe identities, which I think were really portrayed as positive, but I think I don't think. I wonder if these actually push people too hard to force you into a mold that you may or may not feel is appropriate. Yeah. When I first started going online with my fitness stuff, I feel like that was a trend, and I was never attracted to it. And I feel like the trends died down, or I'm just not seeing anymore because it's not in my, like, radar, if you will. But I don't feel like that hustle culture is as prevalent as it used to be online. That's what, you know, that's my reference. I do love that you picked that up because I'm not sure I'm that astute. And, you know, I've worked in, not corporate culture my whole career, but certainly, institution where there's structure. And most of the time, there is at least woman with a powerful job who really it's so much masculine energy that some of them actually dress, in a way that looks more masculine. Certainly, I can feel that masculine energy. I can think of 2 ladies that were at my previous job. 1 was a senior vice president, and 1 was actually a physician. And I feel like given the time that I encountered these women and the ages they were, I think they fought so hard for, quote, a seat at the table. The only way they knew how to achieve was actually to assume that masculine energy and that masculine persona. And I remember feeling very, like, almost recoiling from these personalities because of the actual intenseness of them. Yeah. And it's probably because as a female and, again, we have both energies, but they were trying to fit into a mold Exactly. That wasn't their nature in order to make a seat at the table, like you mentioned. So sometimes you'll see this show up female bosses, and I encourage you to look back like Amelia just did. I can think back in my history too when I was in the classroom. Female bosses that are trying to fit into a mold that's not their nature doesn't feel right. Like, it repels you. It pushes you away. It it does. It totally does. And I actually have those were just the two examples, but I've also noticed because I actually have managed people that while I can be very masculine energy focused because I love, like, deadlines and structure, my management style is much more of the feminine. Like, I give you a framework, but I'm not a micromanager. I love to empower other people, men or women, to do the best job they can do. So it feels natural to me to be the nurturer in the workplace rather than the, this has gotta be done, and this is the deadline, and this is how you have to do it. A lot of those people are very prescriptive, and they don't allow that creativity to flow, which I think is, you know, allowing that feminine energy. And, I mean, dudes can have feminine energy too. We know that we are we're all made up of both. 100%. And let's talk about the qualities of feminine energy and how it flows up. And, you that was a great segue, like more flow, more receiving, more nurturing, honoring the cycles of energy, not expecting to go 24 hours a day. Like, that doesn't work. Yeah. And I love this one too, softer, more rounded language. I mean, I think that is just speaks into an openness and an authenticity. And I will have to say, I feel like at times, my husband probably has more feminine energy than I do. So any of our listeners that know him, he is very kind. He will do something for anybody. He is not tied to a schedule. I was telling Cam before we hit record. He is not a slave to anyone or anyone else's schedule. And I just really appreciate the fact that I look at him and the way he lives, and it's on his terms and I appreciate that. Yeah. And does it ever so you have a a schedule that you have to follow and he has a more flowy. Does it ever result in, like, a conflict or is it just flow on both sides? Usually not because he is so receptive to my energy patterns. Since we have moved his mom into a retirement situation, his energy has been taxed. So I've seen a little bit more, not biting language. That's super that that's just not him. But just like he needs to move from thing to thing more quickly because there's so much more to do because he's managing her and himself in his work. But I will say between the 2 of us without extenuating or external factors, it never causes conflict. Yeah. That's interesting. So right now, he's working against his, like, nature, if you will. Yeah. You're right. I would definitely agree with that statement. Yeah. That I mean, that's you have a natural flow, and so we're just shining a light on things to see where you could bring more of the opposite of what you're missing. Exactly. And, you know, our notes also, we talk about the feminine energy as being creative, you know, using your intuition. And the the thing I would like to just kind of explore is maybe there's a argument that you can go too much in that direction and you have no sense of I won't say belonging. That's certainly an overstatement, but, like, you're kind of floundering a little bit. And I'm not sure that's true, Cam. I'm just kinda making that up as to what I would feel if I were too far into that flowy kind of mindset. Yeah. So there has to be a balance because let's discuss this for a second. How does this show up in your health and fitness routine or what you believe in? Like, there needs to be a little I believe there needs to be a little bit of structure, which is masculine energy, and even the act of lifting weights would be masculine energy. So, you know, looking at your schedule and saying, when can I lift weights this week? That would be masculine energy and then actually showing up. But then the rest of the week, like, should I walk with my girlfriend or should I walk by myself? That would be more flowy. That would be more feminine energy. Like, if the weather is horrible out, like, it's gonna be a 100 here today. No. I'm not walking this afternoon. No. Yeah. And and see, that's the beauty of this. I think that you can look at what you have in your life that's necessarily structured, whether it's a job or whether it's a doctor's appointment or whatever it is that must be. And then you can basically know, I have to do this, and then you can allow the flow in the other areas. Because I would argue that no one person has to have every second structured. And if you do, I think you probably need to look at how you're managing your energy and time. Yeah. And and I'll go back to my thirties teaching little kids and all that stuff. Having wife all the things and having a house that was too big to clean, like all the things. Like, it was very frustrating time, and there was no flow in my life. And I it showed up for me as, like, bitterness and Mhmm. Short temper, and, like, that is my sign personally when I'm too in my structure, when I'm too in my masculine and I need more flow. I love that, and I love that you said the example you used included a house too big to clean. Sometimes I feel like we create unnecessary structure by wanting to achieve, whether that's you wanna make x amount of money or you you feel driven to have whatever car or whatever clothing brands or the big house. Like, if you're showing up for what other people expect, I don't know that that's a direct line to masculine energy, but I certainly think that there that you could have better balance if you're if, you know, if that's your your goals. Yeah. 100%. And as soon as, I don't know, a couple years after Alyssa was born, we sold that house because I was like, this is not working for me at all. No. No. Exactly. And you knew that, Cam, and we've talked about this so much. So the awful awesome test, I mean, I think that's such a telltale sign. If the things that you're doing, whether it's not enough structure or too much, if it makes you feel bad, you need to take a look at that. Yeah. And this is the easiest place to start, to tap into your intuition, tap into your inner knowing. I believe it's part of the midlife awakening, rather than just being on autopilot is to, like, tune into yourself. And so the awesome awful test works with absolutely anything, people, food, any absolutely anything after the thing, after you eat the thing or you do the thing or you're with the person, just ask yourself, how do you feel? Do you feel awesome and energized? You need more of that in your life. And if you don't, if you feel awful and, like, you need a nap and you're grumpy, that's an example of that's a no. That's a body no. Like, what does your body say yes or no to? Right. And, you know, being in midlife, I still think that that we have choices every day. And I'm kinda thinking back to job choices. You know, I had someone tell me recently, well, I'm 56 or 7 or whatever the age was, and, you know, I can't change. I'm like, oh, yes. You can. Mhmm. Like, it's never too late, and I love that you made a change to honor your energy cycle because too many people are in I won't say dead end jobs. Maybe they're upwardly mobile and that's the goal. But if their energy is suffering and they're miserable, why pursue that? Like, what's the point? Yeah. I think it takes some time to know what yes feels like in your body and what does no feel like in your body. Another example that was more recent was actually leaving coaching CrossFit in person because that was a no for my body. And, Amelia, I ignored it for a long time because it's scary, like, to be online only or what happens if I give up my in person part of my work? What happens? And yet I knew that that kind of exercise for the women I work with was a no. But it was a conflict. It was definitely a conflict anyway. And, I mean, even though it was scary, you made that change and it it's been a good thing. Mhmm. I I can honor my energy better. Instead of being a strict, I have to be here and I have to fight the traffic and and then I have to coach things that I don't believe in. Like, now I have more flow in my life and I can actually show up and help people more specifically than a generic this fits everyone kind of way. So let's talk a little bit about honoring your energy cycles. Like, what does that look like? Well, I mean, let's go back to when we were menstruating. This is definitely something my mom never talked to me about is energy or periods or any of that. Like, I don't even know how I learned about tampons. I really don't know. It must have been osmosis because it was not a conversation. So I was completely clueless about my cycles. And one of the first classes, I guess, that I took online was honored honoring our energy cycles for women. Kate Northrop, if you know who she is, did a class and I was like, this is amazing. I was actually part of her online group for a minute to understand that every day is different for women, that we have cycles where we are more out there and more vibrant and more out there, like a full moon, if you will, and that would be, like, more masculine. And then there's times when we're more inward or we need more quiet time or we need, like, flow space in our schedule to allow, I always say, magic and miracles. Like, you need space. If you're constantly planned minute to minute, then there's no room for that miracle. There's no room for, like, I think I'm gonna go for a walk with my friend today if you're scheduled 8 months out. Yeah. Yeah. So how am I honoring that energy cycle manifest in changing schedule things? Psst. Hey, you. Have your workout stopped working? There are a few things I need to tell you. Hey there. It's Cam, and I'm here to guide you through a few simple actionable steps that will actually transform your health. And believe it or not, you'll actually see results from your efforts. Learn how to get fit and energize with a free on demand masterclass called the 4 keys that unlock menopause fitness. If you're ready to take control of your journey, click on the link in the show notes for this free masterclass now. Okay, I'll see you in class. Well, if you're if okay. So if you're still menstruating, so, like, the full moon would be like the ovulation when you're out there and you're like, let's go. Right? And there's actually that physical. You actually maybe wanted to go, like, and and do the thing to maybe make a baby, like, when you're ovulating, that's a very out there energy. And, like, as your cycle went and you're about, like, PMS time or whatever, that was more inward, that would be your new moon, like, where you need to be inward and more quiet and stay home more. So that's one way that it could show up for sure. I love that. I mean, and I actually feel affected by a full moon. I didn't pay much attention this last time. And I don't know if it's out there or not, but I just feel a little more agitated Mhmm. During the during the usually, it's before the full moon. Once the full moon has come to full and it starts to wane again, I get a little bit more feel a little bit more balanced. But I just get, like my sleep is usually not as good. Yep. That simply could be, you know, more light in the bedroom. I don't even know. But, yeah, I mean, I think now that, obviously, I don't menstruate, I do feel the moon cycle is does affect my mood and my energy. Yeah. And and and menopause, you can use the moon. So, like, from, like, the new moon to the full moon, that's like the get out there, go a little heavier in your lifts, you know, use a heavier weight, go get them more. That's like the more masculine out there energy, and you can certainly do that. And, you know, as a fitness trainer, we definitely schedule, like, increasing our loads. That's called progressive overload, but then there always is a deload. There always is a deload week, and that's the other part of the cycle. You can't just go go go forever. That doesn't work. You're gonna burn yourself out. So there has to be the deload. So the deload week would be like the feminine energy from, like, ovulation until the new moon, for example, the second half. That's super cool. Do you know of any diet changes that are helpful during those different times to support the energy cycle you're in? You know, I'm not really sure, but I know that some food is more grounding than other foods. So if you're feeling, like, not present in your mind and out of your body, then grounding foods would be like meat, for example, or root vegetables. Things that ground you and literally are of the earth, like, ground you down would be an example of foods that could help you maybe feel more in your body. Yeah. I love that. I will also I've also wondered when we were contemplating this subject, if your personality type or Enneagram number affects, you know, if you are more masculine or more feminine in your energy cycle. I mean, I'll say as the performer, I feel like when I read the attributes of masculine energy, that is my dominant energy side, which is interesting because I'm left handed. So I don't know if that's a paradox or what, but it's just interesting to kinda consider. Yeah. I agree. I mean, I'm a 1, so Amelia's a 3 and performer externally, performer internally, but it's the same. Like, we wanna do a good job. We wanna show up well on the earth and, like, show up as our best. I get that. And for me, the older I get and the deeper I get into menopause is, like, what was missing was the feminine flowy. Like, I signed up for an art class. I'm in an art membership. Awesome. Got my art supplies over here, and I'm painting. And, like, the old me, paint is messy. Paint is a pain. Like, why would you get pain out? But it's kinda fun. Like, why not? So that's part part of my morning routine sometimes is I've got my art stuff over here. But and, you know, creativity is definitely more feminine. That was missing from my life. And the older I get, the more I see that now. I think that's cool. I have a really good friend who's an Enneagram 9 who is the, you know, kind of peacemaker. Yeah. The peacemaker. I'm married to one of those. I know about those. Yeah. Yeah. And she is lovely. I love her, and she is a faithful listener. She probably knows who she is. I've not detected any sort of, like, lack of masculine. I mean, she certainly has a job and so forth, but I wonder if those people sometimes get lost in the flow. I don't know. I'm just speculating. And on the other side, I have a friend at work who is a man, and he has he has started taking piano lessons. Now I don't know if he did before. Yeah. But he is so happy, Cam. Like, it's really fed something in him. And now that we're talking about it, I'm like, oh my gosh. This is he's tapping into that feminine energy. And I I just think it's really an amazing, revelation as it were. Yeah. My business coach, he started playing the guitar a year or 2 ago. And so, like, that's his thing. You know, when you're go go go masculine, go. This is my list. There has to be some flow. There has to be some balance. And I love that. Like and I think also as society, like, why don't we honor creativity? We went to a live concert. I don't know. We went to see Creed. I don't know, a couple weeks ago, and it was amazing. I haven't been to a live concert in a long time, but they are gifted and talented people, and it was really fun. No. I I think those of us who don't necessarily I mean, I feel creative in some aspects, but not in others, But that that is truly a gift. I've known people that were musically inclined, and it's amazing. Or I have another friend whose son, I think he's about 14, is just the most amazing artist. Mhmm. And he was since he was, like, 5. So, yeah, tapping I think for those of us who may be more into the feminine I mean, into maybe our nature is more masculine, tapping into that like you are with actually doing it. But for me, that may manifest as going to an art gallery or a concert. So I can experience that flow and that creativity while not having the pressure to actually do it myself if if that's if you can get that. I'll tell you exactly where your creativity shows up, Amelia. Okay. Your that your beautiful plates of food, how you cook in the kitchen, how you just know what spices to use, and you go to the farmer's market with $20 and you come home with the stuff and you that's how your creativity shows up. Yeah. And I think we all have some of that. Right? We may not have identified it as a gift because it's not so overt. Like, we didn't pick up an instrument when we were 4 years old. But I think we all have some of that. We've just got to tap into what that looks like and feels like. Yeah. And I would say, like, we've talked about this many, many episodes ago. If you're not sure even where to look, think about something you'd love to do as a little girl because that's probably something that you could tap into. Now I'm not saying quit your job and just, like, go live on the earth. Like, I'm not saying that, but I'm just inviting the idea that we could add more of what we're missing to our life, and you will feel more balanced, grounded, happier, less bitter for me, like, bitter. When bitter shows up, I'm like, oh, I'm doing too much. Yeah. It's too much masculine. Yeah. That's such an incredible insight that you have developed, and I just wish other people would actually spend some time. And, you know, one way, and I'm completely spitballing here, maybe you journal or maybe you do some meditation to kinda tap into what's missing. I talk to people all the time, and while they're not necessarily complaining, they express dissatisfaction about some aspect. And I think some of these exercises would be good because there's a lot about our lives that we can't change, but there's a lot that we can change. Yeah. Alex, you know, my I'm not a journaler. I would like to be a journaler, but I judged my handwriting in the past and what I said and grammar and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then my husband, my ex husband read my journal. So like, I think I told you that story. I had hidden it. It was after my son was born, and he found it and read it. And that was like a violation of all sorts of things and That's not good. No. It was not good and I was not happy. Like, I probably had postpartum depression, but that was something you didn't talk about back then. Yeah. And I was just trying to find grant it was a gratitude journal like 3 things that were great and one wish of the day and it was like during Oprah and anyway so I there's a bad experience there I'm not saying I'll never journal again but it's been 28 years. Yeah. Yeah. So the art is better, but also I've started meditating. And I really like guided meditations where I'm listening to something and it you know, then I do whatever or think or see or whatever. So that's helpful. But here's a new meditation way to meditate. If you're not into guided meditations, it might be helpful. If you go somewhere like outside is great, and you listen for all the layers of the sounds like how far out can you hear and different birds, crickets, and where are they coming from? And how many layers of sound can you hear? That is the easiest, simplest way to get present in your body and out of your mind. I don't know. It's so simple, and I I've been doing that recently. We actually did it at the workshop I was in California I was at. So anyway, that's a a nice place to start. Yeah. I've I've actually had a therapist talk to me about that sort of thing and you really once you're really paying attention, there may be street noise, you may hear a siren, you may hear a dog bark, you know, however far away at your neighbor. So it is a really nice way because you take your mind away from the immediate pressures and you actually dial into what's happening at that moment. Yeah. It's great. It I'd give it a try. And if you do, send us a message on Instagram because it's so good. But there are some other so there's some ways to kinda clue in with biofeedback. Will you tell us about that? Yeah. We've spoken about it before. SHREDS is the acronym. So it stands for s stands for sleep. H stands for, like, hunger and cravings. R is for rest and recovery. E is your energy, which we're talking about today. Exactly. It's normal to have, like, an energy lower energy. I have better energy in the morning and lower in the afternoon. Are you the same way? Oh, sure. 100%. And yesterday, I needed more energy in the afternoon, so, I ate a little bit of food and I took a b vitamin. I was like, I need some energy because I gotta be on on point. Anyway, d's digestion, including your Bristol stool chart, like, what's happening when you go to the bathroom, bloating gas, all that. Are there certain foods that make you feel upset? And then s is for stress. And I'd like to say that stress is cumulative. So, you know, we grew up in diet culture thinking that the more you did, the better you were, the more worth you had and all that. But stress is cumulative on your body, especially in menopause. And yeah. So a lot of us, I think, oh, I have normal stress. Well, when you really look at it, like, not eating is stress, over exercising, or under exercising is stress. There's so many things and then life stress, and then are you fighting a cold, and did your partner snore? And, like, all those things kind of add up and add burden to our body. So stress is a big one. Yeah. I definitely agree, and I've recognized it in myself and talked to some friends very recently that admitted that their lives were more stressful. And everyone's response to stress is different. Right? Like, so what I find stressful, you might not, or vice versa. So, you know, again, really dialing into how you feel and using that awful awesome test for, like you said, food, activity, people It's just so important so that you can honor your energy. And I would suggest that probably, like, leaning into stress practices that are more on the feminine side, more flowy journal, meditation, getting outside, going to walk with your girlfriends. Those things you need tools in your tool chest to mitigate the stress, to take the burden off of your body, and I I'm guessing that it's more on the feminine energy side, it's a more flowy creative. Yeah. I would definitely think so. And a friend of mine was we were talking about just midlife and weight gain and food choices and just all the things. And I said, there there is a lot of thought work that has to go into this. And people that haven't engaged in it are really baffled by what this looked like, but that's exactly what you're talking about, journaling and meditation and things that can take us out of the stress because stress is in our mind. Right? Like A 100%. It starts there. Yeah. I mean, so we've got to deprogram that. And if you've never attempted it, if you're not aware of the negative self talk, it is a long journey. And I say that out of experience of a couple of years that includes just the things we're talking about, but therapy and just all of that. So stress is a huge big deal, because we've talked about it before, Cam, like the the hormones you can control are your cortisol and insulin. Mhmm. So if you're not kind of paying attention, you may be way out of whack and you don't even know why you feel like crap. And I think this circles back to the whole energy talk today. Like, are you are you too much in your masculine? Are you too structured? Are you too and not allowing enough flow? And, like, do I really feel like how do I feel today? Like, are you checking in with yourself? That would be feminine. Yeah. Exactly. And I love you know, I need to work harder on balance and I suspect that most of our listeners do do do do too. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on Instagram at midlife.mommas. For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below, and we will talk to you next week.