Part 2: Sneaky Stress: Eat less, exercise more is keeping you stuck in menopause

Are you a stress-eater? Do you eat less when you're stressed? We see both. In midlife, we have to be careful because we can control 2 things: cortisol response and insulin response.
We grew up in an age where we 'ate less and exercised more' to lose weight. That no longer works in midlife.
Join us for part 2 of this series. This episode talks about how stress can railroad your weight loss journey. We know some of this feels counter-intuitive, but we implore you to listen and give these tactics a try!

00:00 Buying jeans was defeating due to size perceptions.
05:39 Incorporate movement into daily habits consistently.
08:50 Midlife feels like navigating a narrow trail.
12:36 Intentional multitasking fragments focus, reduces productivity.
15:37 Circadian rhythm affected by irregular schedules, travel.
19:10 Therapist helps reduce consistent mental stress.
19:50 Boundaries protect health from others' opinions.
23:08 Midlife women report disrupted sleep as primary concern.
26:56 Late exercise caused unexpected weight gain.
31:56 Thin women can have poor bone density.
34:37 Strength training ensures healthier aging and vitality.
36:30 Discovered pickleball with daughter, thoroughly enjoyed it.
38:57 Fasted workouts hinder performance; fueled ones excel.

In this episode, you'll hear: 

1. 🎯 Why "Eat Less, Exercise More" Might Be a Trap!
   • Yup, you read that right. Sometimes, undereating and overexerting can make your body cling to fat like it’s an old friend. Your body needs fuel, not starvation!
2. 💪 The Power of Strength Training Over Endless Cardio
   • Say goodbye to those marathon treadmill sessions. We'll discuss how 2-3 times a week of strength training can revolutionize your metabolic health, muscle mass, and even bone density.
3. 😴 The Stress-Sleep-Weight Connection
   • Stress and poor sleep can turn your metabolism upside down. Learn why quality sleep and managing stress might be your secret weapons in this battle.

Stay Connected!
Amelia

• Website: https://www.thehelpfulplate.com/
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/thehelpfulplate/

Cam

• Website: https://www.camoyler.com/
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/heymomma_cam/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heymomma_cam

Midlife Mommas IG: https://www.instagram.com/midlife.mommas/

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Transcript

0:00

Welcome to our restaurant. May I take your order? Oh, yes. I'd like to have a hamburger, but no bun, please, and no cheese. I'd also like a side salad with dressing on the side. Oh, and no croutons or bacon bits. Hi. I'm Cam, Holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, Laboratory scientist by day and food scientist by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life after 50. You can expect real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the Midlife Mommas. Amelia, what the heck are you ordering? What's going on? Girl, it is how I used to order food in the nineties. Like, I really was stripped down to everything fat free. Let's avoid everything but, you know, lettuce and carrots. That's so funny. We are talking about part 2, how eat less, exercise more is actually keeping you stuck in menopause, and we're kinda making fun of our diet culture of the eighties and the nineties for a second. Yeah. Absolutely. And I think it's so insidious, Cam, because we still tend to be and I say this for a whole generation of women. We still tend to be stuck in diet culture, mindsets where calorie restriction was king. We had to work out we worked out with the express purpose of burning all of the calories we ate, and it's such a sad thing. And I find myself still not in that mindset, but certainly saying, oh, should I eat that? And, you know, I still have to remind myself that this is not a a positive thing. Oh, so what you're saying is you can't earn your food by your exercise? Amen, sister. That's exactly what we're saying. Yeah. So we grew up in this culture where cardio was queen and strength training was weird and, you know, all of that. Skinny is beautiful and your worth is, you know, defined by the number of your clothes, like, what number is in your clothes. You know? Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, it was defeating for me to go buy jeans for decades because if it wasn't below a certain number, I was upset, and it affected my mindset, maybe not just for that day, but for maybe for the week. So, you know, I mean, when I got married, I was a size 4, and so for some reason, that's kind of the goal I was always at. And, PS, I had 2 kids, so there was a lot of weight gain and loss during those years. And your body just changes, so it's just really destructive to be stuck in in that mindset. And I would like to say that I think clothing companies are switching the way they measure clothes too because a 4 is not a 4 in all brands and That's right. A 4 from the eighties is way different from a 4 today. That's right. And they call that vanity sizing. And so what they do is what they've changed, and this is kind of off topic, but it's relevant, is they've changed the sizing to be more flattering. So I don't know, Cam. I I just can't even say enough of how bad this is. Like, this is just you know, I'd rather just go in a store and have someone hand me something they think I can wear and not even look at the size. Right. At your body type and Right. If it fits and I like it, it doesn't matter what that number is. And I would like to say also the number on the scale also. Right. I see that affect people's moods and how they think about themselves and define their worth and all this. And these are arbitrary numbers, and it does not really indicate health for sure, and it doesn't indicate the quality of your life and the joy and all the other parts of your life that make you whole and happy. Yeah. And besides that, another number that's really dangerous in my opinion, is, and it's on a lot of, like, health forms is your BMI. Oh, yeah. And that's just, like, total crap. And, I mean, I've known that for a long time that just the way it's calculated doesn't really account for a muscular build. If you are a muscular build, and I find this with men too, you're gonna appear, quote, obese because it's just based on your height and weight, I think. So It is. It's ex you're you're heightening your weight. Doesn't matter how much fat or muscle you have on your body. They don't they don't care. Exactly. Yes. So let's talk about some things like that might be problematic in our mindset and how we can kind of unpack this idea that we need to eat less and exercise more. Well, first of all, you are not a calorie calculator. We grew up thinking that was the answer, that exercise equaled food, food equaled exercise, and all that nonsense. And if we're looking at it from a metabolism point of view, exercise is about 5% of your daily calories, that's nothing nothing at all. We know that strength training adds to our future health because it changes our, our resting metabolic rate, which we spoke to about in part 1. Yeah. That's that's so true, and I wanna really drive that home about exercise. The exercise that you do making up only 5% of your calorie expenditure, what is the biggest percentage of your calorie expenditure? The changeable the thing you can change every day is called NEAT. It stands for non exercise activity. And it's taking a walk for joy or standing at your desk or going up and down the stairs, you know, at your house or your work. It's that parking further away, that actually burns more calories than exercise. Which is really cool, and it just speaks to our daily habits. Right? Mhmm. So, you know, just like you can go in your kitchen and cook a meal and get a ton of quote, you know, nonexercise movement. I mean, if you wear a smartwatch or something, you'd be amazed at how many steps you get in just in your daily movement. A lot of us, myself included, do have a desk job, but I do make a point to get up and move around, whether it's to go see a friend on the other side of the building, or I always take the steps up and down when I go, to the cafeteria. So there's lots of ways to move in that to add in, more movement during your day. Yeah. Have you ever, like, used the alarm on your phone or anything to remind yourself to get up? I know some people have done that. Yeah. I think it's a great idea. I haven't personally because probably TMI, but my bladder requires that I get up on a pause. Yeah. In the bathroom. So I never have to be reminded because there's this little, little thing that says get up. Yeah. And I I think it's also worthy of pointing out if you overdo it in the gym and then the next day or the next 2 days, you're, like, not moving, you're, like, exhausted on the couch, which has happened to me several times, you know, in the last 20 years, 10 years, then you're not even moving and then you're affecting your changeable metabolism, your need, your nonexercise activity. Exactly. So I do wanna talk about what we can and can't control in midlife because this is a a change from when when we were younger. Mhmm. So tell us, Cam, about some hormones and and how that affects our metabolism and our caloric burn. Yeah. And this is the new idea I'd like for you to adopt that we are our metabolism. This is a simplified version. It's part barometer measuring stress and part calculator measuring calories. So the we we thought it was only calories. It's not. We've gotta measure the stress. And so stress, that would be cortisol. And then we're gonna talk about different forms of stress because I find that many women don't even understand what stress is and how it's perceived by the body. I would say stress or the barometer part of your metabolism is pressure your body feels, and it comes in a lot of different forms. Exactly. And, you know, we've talked about this. I won't dip too deep in it, but we no longer have, in menopause, we no longer have our normal female hormones that actually help with some of that stress. Mhmm. So we're we're the the guardrails that we had, I get I'm kind of using a maybe a poor analogy here, that we used to have in our 30s are kinda gone. So we have to be a lot more intentional about how we, how and what stress we put our bodies in because if I'm not wrong, Cam, the 2 hormones we have control over in midlife are cortisol, which you mentioned, and insulin. 100%. So, I've learned that from you, which is amazing. But they they do have a relationship, this cortisol and insulin. Because if you spike your cortisol, then your then your blood sugar is going to spike as well. Is that is that accurate? A 100%. We'll get to that. And I love your analogy about the guardrails. When we were younger, we were, like, on a 4 lane highway maybe we're on, you know, we could go as fast as we wanted and we recovered so well and now we're on it's called a trace like that little path the deer make through the woods and it's just like this tiny little trail and there are no guardrails. Like, literally, if you go off the trail, you're in the woods. So it's kinda like what happens in midlife for sure. Yeah. And I think that we don't realize it. Right? Like, we're going along our daily lives like we always have, and we recognize the signs that we're in the woods, but we don't recognize that we're in the woods. For instance, we put on weight. Our sleep quality suffers. We have cravings maybe for either sweets or crunchy, salty things, And we don't recognize that those are signals. Hey, lady. You've gotten off the path. Yep. You're in the woods. Right. That's where we need to educate our sisters in midlife to say, ladies, this is what it looks like when you are in the woods, which means you may be over exercising and under eating. Yeah. Our body does communicate to us, and we're so darn busy and in our own way that we don't even understand. Oh, when I crave salt, that Mhmm. Means I'm stressed out and my adrenals are saying I need something. I need I need some more salt in my diet, for example. Yeah. And I also feel like, for me, it comes across sometimes as brain fog, but a lot of times as irritation. Mhmm. And that actually will back into it. That's that's when I recognize something is wrong. I'm feeling irritated with the world, not just 1 or 2 things. Mhmm. Then I back up and say, oh, well, my sleep wasn't great. Mhmm. And, oh, before that, I had a day where I was like what you said, I didn't eat or I ended up, with a lot of stress from work. So usually, it comes back. When I when I really do the backwards trace, it ends up being an inordinate amount of stress. I love that. That's exactly follow follow your cues, like, go backwards. For me, when I am not taking care of my self optimally, I feel bitter. That's my emotion. I'm not covering up. I love that. Yeah. Bitterness, and it's, like, edgy and, like yeah. And my brain feels busy, which I've mentioned before, and behind my eyes feels like chaos, and those are my signs that I've learned over the years like, oh, okay. Dial it back. Yeah. And, ladies, what we're trying to tell you is when you've experienced something like this, it means your cortisol is up and it means you have poor blood sugar control, which means you may be gaining weight, you may not be sleeping well. It's all this huge mix of crap Mhmm. That we're introducing into our bodies and our minds, and we need to learn what those signs are so that we can correct it. Yeah. And it's cumulative like you mentioned it's work and then it's sleep and then it's the the the and then I ate like crazy lady or something and then it's cumulative and you're like oh I see. Yeah. And also I would like to mention that we grew up in a culture not only diet culture, but like multitasking and handling all the things and juggling all the things was glorified. At least it was for me in my thirties, I would say. Would you agree with that, Amelia? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And I had this conversation literally, over the last week just a couple of times with my husband about multitasking. And he was like, well, humans, at at some points, you must multitask. Like, you can't always devote a 100% of your attention to one thing. But, like, if you're driving in your lane and someone turns in front of you, you have to be aware of that. Mhmm. And I was like, I get it, honey. I understand that in some facets, like, we have to be aware of our total surroundings. Yep. But we're talking about intentional multitasking, and I'm very guilty of this at work. So I'll be in a meeting, and as soon as some these are virtual meetings. As soon as there is a topic that comes up that is not relevant to me, I will zone out and look at an email. That is not helpful. And I'm here to tell you that that's the kind of multitask we're talking about where you're literally intentionally fragmenting your brainpower. 100%. That's the part that's dangerous. We know that you can't like not pay attention, you know, if your grandkid runs out in front of a, you know, in the street or, you know, the dog gets away. I mean, there are things that you have to pay attention to multiple things at a time. But that intentional multitasking, I'm I'm multitasking, I'm I'm trying very hard to avoid it. Yeah. And I don't remember the word for it, Amelia, but when you switch tasks, your brain takes 20 minutes to go from one to another. So if you wanna think of it, if you're, like, productivity, you are wasting so much flipping time when you're jumping from a to b to c to d. And my business coach says build 1 bridge at a time. And I was like, oh, that makes so much sense to me. Because, otherwise, you have a whole bunch of partial bridges, and you're not getting anywhere. You're never getting to the island that you're trying to get to. So, if that helps you. Right. Exactly. So, Cam, let's talk about because cortisol is such a major thing that affects our lives during this time. Let's talk a little bit about the different forms of stress because they're they're pretty varied. They are, and your body doesn't know the difference between these kinds. It responds the same way. It shuts down digestion. It, your heart rate increases, all the things. So you can respond to the quote unquote danger. But but is it really danger? Okay. Here we go. Glycemic, we'll start with that. So glycemic is your blood sugar spikes and crashes, you know, having steady energy after, you know, after a meal or throughout the day. Some things to look at, low fiber is definitely something, your meal timing, like, for example, if I eat too late, it's gonna mess up Mhmm. My circadian, which we're gonna talk about in a minute. Insulin resistance is your response to food. We talked about food order in part 1. Eat your veggies first. That is the easiest thing to do. Food order, practice food order, and then stress eating. Did you have a date with a bag of chips? Yeah. In the couch. Yeah. I mean, any kind of emotional eating. Are you eating your feelings? Yeah. And that those are common. So glycemic. What is your blood sugar doing? How are you responding to food? That is all stress to your body. If you're overeating or if you're undereating or if you're spiking your blood sugar and crashing it continuously over and over throughout the day, your body's, like, stressed out by that. Exactly. So let's go a little bit into the the sleep cycle, the circadian rhythm, not having a regular wake up and a sleep cycle. This actually has a lot of causes, shall we say. Yeah. It could be as simple as you go to a concert Yep. And you're up till midnight when that's not usual. It could be jet lag, Cam. You and I both travel, so we experience this on the regular. You may work an alternate shift. Like, if you're a shift worker, 3 to 11 is different than 7 to 3 and different from 11 to 7. So, you know, we understand that some of these things are unavoidable, and some of the things we choose, when we choose to take a trip to a different time zone, jet lag is real, but we need to understand how the circadian rhythm is affected by these changes. We've talked about this numerous times. When we go to daylight savings time and back to regular time or Are we done with that, by the way? I don't I'm not sure. We need we I I maybe. I'm not sure. Yeah. But the other one is caffeine intake. We talked about that. And actually, you just mentioned it or maybe maybe I dreamed that you did. Alcohol consumption can up your circadian rhythm. I forgot to mention that one. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't there's another one on here that I didn't write, but, social jet lag. And I live with a party guy, Italian, my husband. Let's stay up late and sleep in, and my body does not like that. So social jet lag is when you have a different sleep schedule on the weekends or on vacation versus your normal life. I do love that you brought that up. I love that term, social jet lag. And I vary it a little bit when I'm on vacation, maybe by an hour, but easily not by more than that, unless unless it's like something like a concert or an an evening event. Your your adrenals, which control the, you know, the cortisol release, love consistent schedules. And I remember thinking when I was younger, I'm never gonna have a routine. I'm gonna be flowy and wrong. My body likes a routine. The sun goes down. I get tired. 9 to 10 is my, like and if I stay up later, Amelia, it's just not worth it. But I still do it sometimes, but I do it knowingly. Yeah. Absolutely. With intention. And, you know, a couple of weeks ago, we did an episode on the masculine and the feminine. We mentioned that the masculine energy is rigid schedules. Mhmm. And that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about consistency. So there's a difference between being I have to do this because that in itself, when you oppose those sorts of really rigid boundaries, could be stress in and of itself. So we're talking about normal rhythms here, not necessarily, like, super strict schedules. Let's go with that mindset to the 4th one on the list, perceived stress. Yeah. Because I think this is the number one booger, I guess, for midlife women is our thoughts. And our thoughts can actually spike our cortisol. I've told the story about Maverick, my big dog barking at me, and I was working and I was annoyed, and I spiked my blood sugar, I had a glucose monitor on, and I was like, woah. When you see it in real time, you're like if I'm thinking stressful thoughts and I'm anxious and angry and I I just I just caused a blood sugar spike, which goes back to the glycemic's form of stress. It's crazy. Yeah. It is kind of a circular and intertwined thing. You know, also with perceived stress, and this is something, mental health is a very big deal to me. My dad suffered from major depressive disorder, but anxiety and depression and mental and emotional burnout, these are things that are real, and what you perceive as stressful or anxious anxiety producing may be different than your best friend, your sister, whatever. So really know yourself and what your triggers are, and try to work on a plan for you. Mhmm. I'm a big fan of therapy. I know, Cam, you are too. And I think even if you're experiencing relatively mild but very consistent emotional or mental stress or anxiety, a therapist is a great way to start. I mean, it's really helped me to kind of unpack some things and recognize and identify some habits that I had that actually didn't service me and were actually producing more anxiety. One of those things is something we talk about all the time, don't take it personally. And if you're not aware that you're taking offhand comments personally and that's embedding stress in your life, that's a, you know, that's a no brainer, but it's still hard to identify and address. Yeah. So when I think of words that get attacked or words that you take on personally, I have a visual of it, like, actually weighing down my body. That helps me separate what that person said to me and how I feel. Like, you have to have we'll use the word boundaries or parameters or something to protect yourself because no one no other person has the right to take your health away. And that's what's happening when you're letting other people's opinions weigh you down. You're burdening your own physical body, and it's responding with maybe glucose spikes or running on cortisol. Mhmm. And and the thing is our body is designed to respond when a kid runs out in the street or when your dog runs away. Those are fast acting. Your body system shut down so you can respond to the danger. Your body release releases glucose so you have energy to go run or lift the car off the kid or whatever the thing is, And then you go back to homeless you go back to net neutral. The problem is we're never going back to neutral, if that makes sense. Yeah. Totally makes sense. And I've had to really live through those difficulties to embrace how how it affects me personally. Yeah. Whatever it is for you, go put your feet on the earth, go put your face in the sun. I like to sit on my deck and watch my hummingbirds. Like, you have to have strategies in your back pocket that work for you. Right. Exactly. One thing I don't know if we mentioned yet as far as stress is inflammation. Mhmm. I think we've been through episodes where we talked about inflammation a lot. There's so much in our environment that's inflammatory, but this could include, allergies. You may recognize some GI upset or infection, but inflammation has been identified probably in the last 10 years as a major, major source of unhealth. And if we're not recognizing what may be inflaming us, we're losing a really large opportunity to live in optimum health. And I'll just from personal experience, when I get Hy Vee or when my asthma flares up, that is an assigned to me that maybe I'm eating more inflammatory foods, maybe I'm eating out more. What is agitating me? Like, maybe it's emotional, but that's how my it shows up on my body. I'm very rashy. So Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of people, it's more GI. Like, they can't go to the bathroom or they have diarrhea, one or the other, where they're they're in dysbiosis. Especially if you travel and you eat crappy food, that's really easy, to get into that dysbiotic sort of state where your GI tract is is messed up, and we know that our GI tract is the source of a lot of health. Yeah. Like, I like Chipotle. I like it, but when I eat it, the next day, I'm puffy, and the reason why, they use canola oil. You know, it's it happens every single time. But I'm inflamed because of the food I ate, which also is the, you know, the glycemic response. So they all kind of tangled together, if you will. Yeah. I get it. But, you know, there is hope. Right? Oh, 100%. Here here to give you hope about how how can we change the mindset and how can we get into better health. So how do we get started, Cam? Yeah. So we just went over all kinds of stress, and if you listen to 1 and you're like, oh, yeah. That's me. That's where I would start. Start with the easiest thing, you know. What was what was one thing you started with? Well, probably I mean, decades ago, I tried to improve the health of my food, you know, to try to curtail inflammatory foods, but the most recent and profound change has been in sleep. So I've had to learn how to sleep. I know you had this story as well before I did, but learning how to sleep. And I gotta say, Cam, amongst some of my personal friends, and family, disrupted sleep is what these midlife women are reporting to me is their number one concern. And what they'll say is, I can't turn my brain off. That's what they say is the quote cause. I think there's things leading up to that that may be causing all of this, like the I can't turn my brain off, but that's how they view it. A 100%. And if you wake up at 3 and you've got your to do list, then it won't shut up. And then you're shopping online for your groceries, which I know somebody personally that did that recently. Yeah. Like yeah. Magnesium's amazing. Magnesium glycinate would help you. That's one of the things. But also take a look at your evening practices. Like Yes. It you know, are you eating right right before bed? Are you drinking an extra glass of wine? Are you watching TV? Like, there are simple things to you have to prepare your body to sleep, a cold dark environment, for example, getting away from the blue light. If those are your triggers, then start there. Or just staying consistent when you go to bed and when you wake up if you have a consistent time. Like, if you're staying up late on the weekends, maybe start there. It doesn't have to be perfect like you mentioned earlier. Just lean into more consistency. Yeah. And I think some of it too is stop telling yourself that you can't sleep. If you're the person that says, I just can't, you need to reframe that thought. You need to do what Cam is suggesting and change your environment, and then tell yourself that you can sleep, and the to do list can wait. The world is not gonna fall if you don't plan your grocery list at 3 AM. No. I mean, it really is not. No. And so, for me, Cam, in addition to the magnesium glycinate, which is I'm a huge fan of and a lot a lot of my friends are too, but it was also a good evening practice, turning off the screen, reading, actually engaging in something relaxing, whether it's chamomile tea or something like that, but also just telling myself, I have done all of the work I need to do today. Mhmm. Things that might happen or that have happened since I turned off my work phone, I can address tomorrow. That is fine. And I think that people need to be more intentional about how they, govern their thoughts. I agree with you. I think the major theme I see with the women I work with is they're not putting themselves on the to do list. Like Yes. Work, the grocery, the family always comes first, and it's really time to put yourself on the to do list and that includes sleeping. Yeah. Absolutely. And to tie it in with, with food and how we fuel ourselves, because we've got, we've done a whole episode on preparing for good sleep, and one of those is how you start your day. Mhmm. So starting your day with a savory breakfast and really, you know, not starting your day with super high glycemic index foods that's gonna spike that blood sugar and, really set you up for that crash, and then it's a vicious cycle. So starting your day is a good with a savory breakfast is a good way to set yourself up for good sleep. Along the same lines, getting morning light in your eyeball in the morning will also help sleep better, which is so crazy, but it helps sync your body clock. Like how does your stomach know what time it is? Why is your stomach growling? It's because your eyes are telling your organs what time it is. Anyway, I think it's pretty cool. So we do have some personal stories about how getting this sequence jacked up, can really affect your body and your mind, honestly. Mhmm. So, you guys have heard this before, but last summer, I did I was preparing for a long distance cycling event, so I was doing a lot of cycling. And we would cycle in the morning on the weekends, but at least once or twice during the week, we'd cycle in the evenings. I would eat dinner, like, at 5. And this was in July, North Carolina, where it's still a 100 degrees at 6 and 7 o'clock at night. So we would leave to go ride, you know, 25 miles at 6 o'clock in the evening, and it was well sunlight when we got home. The bottom line is that much exercise that late ended up causing weight gain. And everybody was like, oh, well, you were you were riding, so you were eating more, and that is not true. I was actually probably eating less because I could see that the the pounds were were coming on. I ended up not being able to wear some clothes. So I gained £10 over last summer. I was able to get it off, but I just kinda got into that high exercise, low caloric intake cycle and had to recognize that I couldn't sustain it. Yeah. And what is what a story. Thank you for sharing that because most women think that we're a calculator. And if you're exercising more and you're eating less, then why isn't the scale going down? Right? Doesn't make sense logically. But it goes back to the stress conversation. So, you know, from a scientific point of view, your heart rate was probably elevated overnight because you were exercising that late. And in order to get good quality sleep, which is a the huge domino when it comes to weight loss, is if you have an elevated heart rate overnight, then you're not recovering. You're not really truly resting and recovering and detoxing your body. Yeah. It's it's crazy, and I'm so glad that you shared that story because I hope someone else can hear it and understand that maybe that's happening to them. Right. My stories were in my forties, and I was going through a divorce. The other way that stress shows up is not eating, and it seems like we talked about this last week. Divorced people don't eat and then, like, acute stress things people do eat, like little tiny things. You're like, yeah, I'll eat that bag of chips. Yeah. When you're going through a divorce and your whole life's turned upside down or anything dramatic like that in your life. I see it happen. It happened to me. I didn't eat. So I got really thin. I lost a ton of muscle during that time. Now what happens is if I feel extra stress now that I'm in menopause, almost 6 years, which is crazy. Now if I feel stressed, my body instantly gets puffy, especially my belly and my face. Those are my 2, but my belly is my barometer, I always say. What's happening down there? Oh, dial it back. You're going too hard. You're too busy. Yeah. But we we can actually make good nutrition choices. Even though we're not a calculator, we still want to pay attention to what we're eating, obviously, and we have to support the activities that we're doing with food because the human body, the energy that we need or have to do activities comes from food. That's that is a truth. Yeah. And the series started with that. Are you running on fumes? Right. Exactly. Yeah. So understanding that you do need to eat, and the formula for me is eat as much food as you can and do the least amount of movement as you can to get the body that you're looking for, the health that you're looking for. And so that's the formula. And a lot of times undereating will cause weight gain. I know that makes no sense, but that goes back to you're not a calculator. You're both. You're a calculator and a barometer, and barometer measures pressure. Where's the pressure in your life? And I do I have heard, and I don't know. You can tell me if this is wrong, that if you're undereating substantially, your body thinks it's starving, and it will hold onto what it has because you're not giving it what it needs. So cave woman, you know, if she is being chased or it's time to move to the next location and they don't have a lot of food, they had to hold on to what they had for survival. 100%. So, you know, even though we're millennia later, our bodies still haven't evolved as much as our technology has. 100%. We're not hardwired like our computer. No. We're still, like, hardwired like the cave lady. Yeah. So you kept body fat because you needed that body fat to survive the famine that might have be happening. And so another thing that happens in the CrossFit world in particular with younger 30 40 year olds, they were over exercising and undereating, and they lost their period. Mhmm. And at 1 gym, it was viewed as, like, amazing. Like, oh, look. I and then it's really strange because of them having a period is actually part of your hormone hormonal health. Like, that's how you make progesterone. It is not a badge of honor to lose your period. No. And I agree with that, and I've known women who were inordinately thin, and that happened. And they actually their bone density was really poor. Yep. Yeah. The I I know this one woman who, I think, when she was probably in her early thirties, had a cycling accident, and when she she I don't know why they maybe she broke a bone unexpectedly, and when they did a scan, they were like, oh my god. Your bones are like a 65 year old woman. So, yeah, I totally agree with you. But, Cam, how do we know like, what's the baseline? If we don't know how many calories we need, what's a quick way to figure that out? There are online calculators. It's not gonna be perfect. You could take your body weight times 10, and that's like the that's your resting, metabolism, like, how much you need just to survive for sure. And then there's macro coaches that you could also work with. Yeah. I wanted to go back to the loss of periods. Like, why does your body do that? It your body perceives it as there's not enough food around to support life. And that's what's happening when you lose your menstruation. Like, if your it's your daughter, you this happened to you when you were younger. Your body perceives it as danger, and you can't support life. So therefore, why would you have a period? Yeah. Exactly. Wow. That's really, really incredible. I also wanna mention when you're figuring out your basal metabolic rate, there are some, apps that you can use once you figure it out. There's apps that you can use to actually track. I know you we talked about this last week, where we can track our macros and so forth. There's also some gyms, some nutrition shops, or nutritionists, if you go to 1, they do have ways to calculate your basal metabolic rate. Mhmm. I don't know that any one is a 100%. It's just a it's a place to start if you don't have any idea. Yeah. So if you're inclined and you're not completely numbers don't paralyze you or or drive you nuts, it's a it's a good place to start if you want to have that measured. Yeah. The InBody InBody scan is very common at gyms and that would give you a starting place. And I like what you said about the numbers because if the numbers are gonna make you crazy and paralyze you, that's perceived stress. Yes. Don't do it. If if you're crazy and, you know, if you don't want the numbers in your life, then don't do it. But, you know, we've talked a lot about stress because I think it's such an important factor in, in our physical, mental, and emotional health in midlife. But we we the episode we called are, you know, are you eating less and exercising more, and why is that getting you stuck? So let's talk for a minute about the exercise. What should be our midlife exercise protocol? Well, we have to say strength training because we're we're investing in our future. We're investing in the basal metabolic rate, the, like, the baseline. And every time you add more muscles like your friend that you were talking about that had low bone density, we're adding the weight we're adding is bone and muscle, and that's healthy. That will help you age and have a vibrant life, second half of life, for sure. So strength training, 2 to 3 times a week depending on your energy, your sleep, what are your goals, but I would say that's important. Yeah. Because what you've given this statistic before, what is the rate of muscle loss? It's crazy. 1 to 3%. So in a decade, that could be 30%. That's shocking to me. Right. And that's all thing I think that's all things held normal. Like, if you just do go along your daily life, you're still losing your muscle mass because of the loss of estrogen. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. That's part of it. And then also we don't digest protein as much, which is why we need protein but more in midlife. Yeah. I got in an argument once with a lady. I was like, listen. I know about this. I don't know. You can listen to your own. I don't I don't know. You know who she was, but, I didn't take her energy on. Let me tell you. Good. Good. Good. Yeah. You need more protein now because we don't digest it the same way as we used to. So I think that's super important and something that I didn't know before you and I started working together. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But, you know, we are cardio people of the eighties. We love our cardio. So, Cam, is there a place for cardio? And if there is, how do we use it? 100%. But it's not the main dish. It's the it's the salt and the pepper in your life. And, you know, I prefer the hurt, which stands for high intensity repeat training, which is a high intensity is actually good for us in small in small bouts and then rest and recovery between rounds and then between actually sessions. And I know you just had, a pickleball, which I think fits in there. Tell us about your pickleball. So I went to see my daughter in New Jersey over last weekend, and she was like, have you ever played pickleball? And I was like, no. It honestly didn't really appeal to me because I have zero hand eye coordination. But she took her dad and I out, and we had so much fun. And we've played one other time since we saw her. And, we only play for between 45 minutes and an hour. I mean, it can be this it can be high intensity. Mhmm. When you play doubles, it's not quite as bad, but he and I have played singles. And all I have you know, I give it what I can for 45 minutes. It's great fun. Mhmm. But then I'm done, and I feel really good. So it is it is really fun. And when I go out there, Cam, I don't think about the calories I'm burning. I'm thinking about what I'm having. Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah. Because it has to be fun. It yeah. So cardio make cardio your fun thing, whether it's a jumping jack workout or going to play pickleball. A girlfriend and I are going backpacking this afternoon. So it's not cardio. There are gonna be times that it will be cardio when we're climbing up hills, mountains, whatever they're called, for sure. But then there's gonna be recovery. So maybe it'll be interval, but I think the intervals are gonna last longer than 20 seconds. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think so, Jade. But you better believe I'm gonna be hydrating and fueling my body. Yeah. Or else I won't have energy to carry my backpack up the hill. No. Exactly. And so, you know, I know I have friends that play tennis. I have friends that still, run, and maybe that's right for you. You know, I don't think we can say definitively what is right for you. If you're enjoying it and it's servicing you, then that's great. I found for me, that running is it doesn't at the rate I was, not the speed, but the rate as in 2 or 2 to 2, 3 times a week, doesn't service me. Same with cycling. Mhmm. But the pickleball is really fun. And, you know, if I'm visiting my daughter or a friend who does like to run, I'm fine with running up 2 to 5 miles. You know, I can still do it. Right. And I can still do it without it putting me on the couch for a week. Yeah. But it's not, like you said, a consistent thing I do every week. And wait. We need to mention fasted workouts because this is Oh, yes. Yeah. So make sure you have fuel, calories, energy, however you wanna think about it, on board to support your energy. You do not wanna get in that panic mode and your body's like, oh, she's not eating and she's doing all this exercise. I'll just slow everything down. We don't wanna get there. No. Exactly. And I didn't really believe that for a long time, and I paid the price. And what I did find though, Cam, is my workouts were so much better when they're fueled. Oh, I'm so sorry. So much like, you don't realize if you're doing fasted workouts because your mind is like, this is I'm burning more calories this way. So you don't realize that you're you're just scraping by. You're barely getting through it. Yeah. I would rather make my workouts count. And if I have 200 calories on board before my workout and eat protein after my workout and the quality, the minutes that I'm spending are higher quality, then it's worth it. 100%. Totally. Yeah. Totally. Well, this is all good stuff. I just hope we've made an impression on people and you're really examining what you're doing. Because, truly, if you're like a lot of people I've talked to, you're already living this conundrum of why am I, exercising more and eating less, and I'm gaining weight or being stuck or whatever the case may be. And it's so frustrating. So come back for part 3. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on Instagram@midlife.mommas. For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below, and we will talk to you next week.