#53 Navigating the World of Dating with Andre Paradis and Adriana Sorgi

Are you feeling lost in the world of dating or misunderstandings in relationships, often leaving you puzzled? Well, we've got you covered! This episode will demystify the common miscommunications that occur between men and women. Our special guests, Adriana Sorgi and Andre Paradis, reveal how men generally know what they want but struggle to express it. This disconnect leaves women confused about what men truly seek. Andre adds that women often bring something to the table that's far different from what men actually want. We also explore how cultural values and expectations contribute to this communication gap.

We don't just stop there though. We dig deep into the importance of self-awareness and authenticity in dating. Adriana emphasizes the need for women to be upfront about their desires to find success in dating. We discuss the significance of being authentic and powerful, and how to avoid turning dates into an interrogation. Adriana points out the importance of recognising one's values and owning them to find a compatible partner. 

In the final phase of our discussion, we delve into the different types of men and the significance of women embracing their femininity to attract the right partner. We also stress the crucial role of decluttering one's emotional baggage for better self-understanding and clarity on desires. Tune into this enlightening episode for some eye-opening advice and perspectives on navigating the dating world. Let's transform your dating experiences together!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Straight From the Sources Mouth podcast. Frank talk about sex and dating.

Speaker 2: 0:06

Hello everyone, tamara here, welcome to the show. Today's guests are Adriana Sorji and Andre Parity is back once more with us. We'll be talking about dating and sex from the male and female coach perspective. If you like this episode, be sure to tell your friends about it and rate it as well. Thanks for joining me, adriana and Andre.

Speaker 3: 0:24

Absolutely. Thank you for having us.

Speaker 2: 0:26

Yes, this would be a great topic and then hear it from both perspectives. Let's just get started with opening comment of how you approach when you coach clients or what issues you've seen with either men or women. We'll start with you, adriana, then Andre can talk to his issues that he sees the most, or yes. Andre, do you want to start? And then we'll see if she starts working.

Speaker 3: 0:56

Yeah, I can start. So the question is like what is the most common derailment?

Speaker 2: 1:03

Is that the word? That's a better way to say it.

Speaker 3: 1:06

Between men and women in relationships.

Speaker 2: 1:09

Like in dating, like yeah, like where do people go wrong? Like either from the male or the female perspective.

Speaker 3: 1:15

Well, the way I see it is, women actually don't know what men are looking for in dating and men are, so what's the word? Men know what they're looking for, men know what a good date is, men know what works for them, but they can't explain it. So they just sort of sit there and wait for you to give them what they want and if you don't, they go nice to meet you and you don't hear from them again. So, like what I see every day with the challenge of my dating, is that women don't really know when men appreciate what they're looking for, why they want to second, the third and fourth date and what leads to building a relationship.

Speaker 3: 1:56

Because within our culture that women are now believed to be valuable to men, it's not what men value. So it's a huge disconnect and it doesn't work. And at least women feeling like you know how come men don't do anything, how come men don't follow up, how come I can get a second date? I guess confusing because, but again, everything that we teach women in my world, what I see, everything we teach women that to value and to lean forward and to bring forth is what is nothing that men want in the realm of relationship. It's different for business and money, and that's fine, but often it crosses over into this is who I am. This is how it goes take it or leave it, and men are like I'll leave it.

Speaker 2: 2:40

Yeah, it's terrible, it's really quite terrible. Yeah, there's actually several I talk about books a lot the love gap. And then there's one men don't love women like you. They both say the same thing Like we think it's like the degrees and all this stuff and the accolades are what men would be interested in. But yeah, you're saying this, pretty much the opposite.

Speaker 3: 2:59

That's the exact opposite. What men are attracted to is exact opposite of who they are. So men are attracted to femininity, right? One of my friends says what I love about women is they're not men. So the more you're not like a man, the more I'm interested and attracted and want to investigate who you are. So if you act like a man, if you lean in like a man, if you mask it in and think that's cool, it's not one man looking for a masculine man, one feminine woman, Feminine man, one masculine woman, but that's another. That's a disaster in the making. You can imagine.

Speaker 3: 3:35

So that's another thing that I see constantly.

Speaker 2: 3:37

And I think Adriana is back and hopefully the audio is working, is that?

Speaker 1: 3:43

can you hear me now?

Speaker 3: 3:45

Yes, beautiful, your turn.

Speaker 1: 3:47

Oh, my goodness, Beautiful. Okay, so what is the issue that I see the most? Well, I can speak from what I see in, you know, in my business with my clients is that I coach women, by the way, and I believe that what happens is that when we show up to a date and we're not really clear about what you know, what we really want in a relationship, then there's a lot of expectations, and I think that is very important to know first of all, to have the clarity of what am I really looking for in a relationship.

Speaker 2: 4:32

All right. Well, while we're waiting for her, do you have anything to say about what she was saying? Starting to say about expectations.

Speaker 3: 4:39

Well, it's interesting. Like I said, you know, it's one of the things also that you have to be clear on. I mean, what's your dating strategy? Why are you dating Right? What's your dating strategy? Most women, most of my clients, are looking for something to build something long-term, something solid, something ongoing. But again, my experience, what I see them do, is they show up with the values of culture and you know, strong, independent, powerful thinking that makes them interesting to men. And no man cares about your career, no man cares about your money or no man cares about your status.

Speaker 3: 5:13

I mean, it's not what masculine men stand for or looking for in women. That's what they do for themselves. They want the opposite of what they bring. That's the yang yang, that's the masculine and feminist the dance. So, culturally, women kind of just typically my experience they bring the wrong side of themselves and men are like you know, nice to meet you and they don't call back. And it's actually quite devastating, right? It's devastating because you know like the ladies come at me after a while going. You know I'm pretty, I'm still young, I have my own money, I have my own business, my own car, my own house, my own, I'm no trouble. How come nobody wants to date me and they go because you're more masculine than most and men are not interested in you masculine side and or everything you produce and all of that like really in relationships it was not interesting, it's not, it's not the yang to my yang.

Speaker 3: 6:09

So you know, not only just saying that as a product, because it makes women feel like there's something wrong with them, like that's what they say to me, what's wrong with me. I'm like there's nothing wrong with you. You're just over calibrated in your gold girl power. And that's a huge turnoff for men because when you show up masculine with a masculine man, you completely disrespect his masculinity and you understand the man will not stand up for that for one second. Men like just it's irritating, it's completely irritating. And it's not that you're intimidating, you're, you're irritating, it's different. And you know, if you think men want to be irritated on a date or like data woman and try to build with a woman who's irritating it's, that's why it goes nowhere from the get go. And it's confusing because again, the culture said go girl, boss, babe. You know, and you know men will respect that Absolutely not how it works. It's not your fault but it doesn't work.

Speaker 3: 6:58

So my clients somehow understand that they kind of go I've done it, I've tried it, I realized it's not working. So what do men want? Why? What they were looking for. And, like I said, if you understand that you know, women control access to sex. That's always been women control access to sex.

Speaker 3: 7:18

What women seem to not understand in our culture is that men control access to relationships, which means you can't make him want anything. You have to be what he wants, like you know, and if I want to be crass about it, I'm going to say man or the buyers. Women are the sellers. So what is a buyer buying? The buyer buys what he wants to buy. So if he doesn't want to buy what you're selling, you have to rearrange what you're selling because, like in any retail, you know anything. You can't blame the buyers from not buying. The buyer just buys what they want to buy, and so you have to know what they want, as opposed to decide that you know better what they want and they should want what you want or you should want what you think that they should want. And this is what the disconnect is. And then women, not understanding that, often will blame men, you know, because they don't pick them, not understanding again what the buyer is buying. Like, you have to be what men want.

Speaker 3: 8:11

But culture said you know let me put it this way, this is going to you know, to this day, you know, men are still expected to be traditional. And what does that mean? Is men's role has never changed. Men are supposed to be strong and dependent. Right, build their lives. They're provided protectors of women. They're giver, they're cherisher. Right, they build. They're supposed to do something, you know, relevant in the world. Build their character, build the business big. Build, build the life like, be relevant. And that's how they become. That's how they build self respect. That's also how they get respect for both men and women in culture. Right, like, men have to do something. You can't just play video games in your mother's basement at 30. And you know, no one's going to, you know, be attracted to that. So men have to just do what men are always, I've always done, and go, go boy and build something, be relevant in the world so we can respect you.

Speaker 3: 9:09

So again, since the feminist movement is 60s, 70s and on, men's role has not changed. We women still want men to be traditional that way. But we taught women that they shouldn't be traditional. So either women don't want to be traditional or refuse to be traditional, and this is when men go. Okay, that's not what I want. You know, if I'm going to have a traditional life and take care of a wife and build a family and kids, you got to do the part that I'm looking for, which is the feminine part, the mothering part, the nurturing part, and that's just what men want. And if they can't find that, they'll go alone, they'll go alone, alone, alone. You know, missing, missing that the hook. Men want to be married, men want to build families, good men, natural men, not boys. Right, it's different, but men want the traditional values. You know culture. Women aren't interested in that. You're better than being a mother and a wife. Wow, wow, really.

Speaker 3: 10:12

Your career is more important than kids, and okay. Well, that's a big problem, I think you know. And women doesn't make women happy, does not make women happy. Women are happy when the relationships around, all relationships around them, are healthy and working right Kids, family, husbands, friends, family like all of that Money, does not make women happy. Career does make women happy. By the time they're 40 plus, they're tired, they're exhausted, they're stressed and they just want to relax and slow down.

Speaker 2: 10:44

but they can't if everything's on them and yeah, we're ready for a man to take care of us.

Speaker 3: 10:51

Right. But you know, at that place, if you're 40 plus or so, after 35, and I hate to say this and it's going to sound horrible, but it's facts, it's numbers, it's data is after 35, if you neglected building some kind of relationship with men, if you neglected going from the family life to go to for building something with a man man or the man who want to be married, already married, the ones that are left over, left overs right are okay, a little bit off maybe, and the best of them are been married into divorce and they don't want to do that stuff over again, right, like so the pool of available good man. If you wait too long, it's gone and that's a terrible problem, you know.

Speaker 3: 11:36

So it's putting the cart before the horse in our culture and the thing you're going to do later does not work very well. I hate to say it.

Speaker 2: 11:45

Yeah, and I know we talked about this last time, but I know. Adriana is back as well, did you want to?

Speaker 3: 11:51

Please jump in here.

Speaker 1: 11:52

I would like to jump in for a second, because so, in my experience, what I get, the problem that I get the most with male clients, is that they they complain, that they go out on dates and they continue to attract the same type of men right, the unavailable, the one that goes, the one that wants to have sex.

Speaker 1: 12:14

And then after the fact they disappear, right. So, but here's the issue, though we as women got to know what we want. So why do I really value in relationships? Right, and make a list of those values. Why do I really value and be meticulous about your values? I really stand by what, but your by your values, because then you got on a date and the dating experience is is is is simpler, you know, it's a lot lighter, you know what you want, you're in your power, you're stand by what you really desire and and you just own it. Just own it If you want to get married, own it. If you want to be in a committed relationship, own it right. If you want, if you want to have casual sex, then own it right.

Speaker 1: 13:06

But it's really about taking ownership for the things that we really desire and being okay with. This is what I want, and if you don't want that, then we're not a match, right, and then I can move on, right. I don't have to continue to do that dance with this person and, you know, play the game, like a lot of people do these days. You are clear. This is what I'm looking for, this is what I desire. Is that something that you like Is that something that you want, especially at this age, right Plus 40 is like why not just own up to what you want? Just go out on a date, be in your heart, go out just to see what you can give. You know what you can give, not always going out to see what I can get from that person. How can I show up today in a way in which I'm more connected to my true self? How can I show up from my heart? How can I show, how can I contribute to this person today? You know, whatever, whatever that's going to be that exchange. My beauty is just going to be a beautiful. You know, exchange for an hour or two and you realize that it's not a match, but you show up and your power, you show up in your true self and then from that place, that's when you, you know, then you can realize, you can see whether you know, this is something that that we can do again, or perhaps this is really not a match unless just not waste each other's time.

Speaker 1: 14:27

But then what I hear from a lot of women is that they go out on the date and then I ask them what, what, what did you ask? Any questions? Were you curious about him? Did you tell them you know what, what you're looking for? No, I didn't. Did he call you back? No, he didn't call me back. And then they're disappointed, right, but did you show up as yourself, you know? Oh well, so they are afraid of really being who they are, because they don't want to be, I guess, not liked by this person, or they are afraid that they're not going to call them back. Well, if they don't call you back because you showed up as your true self and that's great news this is not the right person for you, right? So I get that.

Speaker 3: 15:10

I get that. I think, like I said I was telling I don't know if you heard earlier I was saying that in my world it's really women have no idea what men want. They really don't. So you could show up in whatever you want and you know again. Obviously, if you're authentic, this is when when we truly could connect.

Speaker 3: 15:25

So if you're in your head, if you're worried, if you hate dating, if you sit there and wait because you have a bad experience with men and you wait for them to say the wrong thing and go Hi, there, it is All that, all the energy, right, men? Men don't live through their feelings like women live through their feelings, but men are logical and heady, naturally. But on a date, I want to tell you, on a date across the table from a woman, this is when men are very aware how they feel with you. First date, they're looking for how. You know it's interesting. Do I feel good? Is she warm? Is she inviting? Is she receptive? Is she available? Right? Is she drilling into me? Is this, is this turning into a job interview turns men? Right? The hell off, right. Stop questioning men on a date. You know you've been married. How many kids you like your mother. You don't your mother like, like, do not interrogate men like a job interview. Men hate that because men actually have a process. There's a reason why they're there and they want to find out who you are. So there's a letting go of controlling the date. But you want to be authentic, you want to be real, you want to be happy to be there instead of I hate dating because men will say to me like you're going to date an excited about this girl, she's lovely, she's pretty, there's something about her. I want to get to know her. How'd it go? Yeah, it's all right, what do you mean? She was? She was lovely, but but what? I don't know. There's something, she's something's off, like you could tell she's like. So, whatever that is, you know whether you're edgy or you're worried, or you don't want to be, or you're suspicious. So you're waiting for him to say the wrong thing and you hate the all that's got to go, all that's got to go, because they can't. That's all they get. They go. She's cool, she's pretty, she was fine, but I don't want to see her again. It's already. It's already not, it's already not working.

Speaker 3: 17:07

On date number one what do I go for? Two or three, I'm not going to. You know. And often I want to say this and it's very cowardly and I tell men, please don't do it. But because men's instinct is to really provide women, this is naturally good men will provide and protect women. That a man will not call you and say you know what, I don't like you, so you know, I'm not going to call you again. They can't do it, we can't say that. So they disappear, which is cowardly but it's still not as fruitful in men's mind. That's saying you know good to meet you, but I don't like you, I'm not going to call you again. So it's a terrible again.

Speaker 3: 17:45

What is it that men want? Whether they're looking for in a date, they're very clear, but most women have no idea. And in the idea of trying to find out who we is because I don't want to waste my time, which is very masculine, by the way, you don't want to waste your time, it's very masculine, you know, passive, patient and vulnerable or female quality, and not passive like a doormat. But let him lead, let him find out what he's looking for, let him let him kind of connect with why he's there. He doesn't know you, is attracted to you, that's why he's on a date Now. He wants to see if you guys are compatible, if you could fit together. Let him lead that and that's what he thinks. You're lovely, interrogate him. You're painting his mind already from the get-go. Why would he spend another hundred dollars for dinner? He's not gonna and you'll disappear and you'll take it personally and you should, but it's not your fault, you don't know. Yeah, I'm going off now.

Speaker 1: 18:37

I love it. I love it. That's. Those are some really good points. So you just oh shared. I Like what you said about the energy right. Like we have, whatever it is, our inner dialogue about relationships is going to show up through our energy right. So if you go to a date right.

Speaker 1: 18:53

And if my inner dialogue is I, I hate dating. Like, like you said, I hate dating. This is such a waste of time. What am I doing here? I don't even like him. Oh, I don't like the way he's, I don't like what he's wearing. Whatever the inner dialogue is is going to show if he's gonna feel it he's going to pick, he's going to pick up on it.

Speaker 3: 19:12

I promise you.

Speaker 2: 19:13

Yes, you know I think my best.

Speaker 1: 19:15

Honestly, my best advice to clients is Show up with appreciation. This person had the courage to ask you out. That is already a lot Right. Like men may have a heart, like it's hard to ask the women out, I can't, I can't imagine, you know, I like it takes a lot of courage. So so see it, if you, immediately you look at him and you feel like, okay, there is really not chemistry here, you know it, there is appreciation, at least feel into the appreciation of the day. This guy Ask me out, he's invited me to have dinner with him. I'm going to appreciate that and I'm going to be present. I'm going to be present in this moment with this person because there's another human being and he's sitting right there next to me and he invited me to be here. I'm going to enjoy the heck out of this. So just have fun with the process, relaxing to yourself, have fun and just be who you are.

Speaker 3: 20:09

You know that's a simple as that just be, and something I would, somebody I would ask. I would add that Women this data on this right? So I'm not making this up, it's not my opinion, but it takes for most women get this three exposure To a man to actually have a sense if they have chemistry for him. Three, three, three, not one, three. So if you get on the day with the guy, everybody's awkward. If he's not, you know, extraverted and doesn't have to give the gab, there's gonna be some awkward moments and you know it's a little stiff and you like, wow, this is really not working for me. But give it a second chance and you might find out there's a little corky and funny because he's gonna relax and you're gonna relax, right, it takes three Exposures for most women to find out if they have chemistry for a man. So Give it three shots, don't care. You know, I find you say why, soon as I saw my new, I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's more data saying exact opposite. Do you? Don't know? He's nervous, you're nervous, right? What's it again? Like you said this, and it's such a compliment, it's such an honor on some level, is such a like be grateful. Somebody's decided that they like you. They make a plan, they take you out, they pick you up, maybe, or you send an uber. They do all this effort, they, they, they're, you know, they're Hold themselves accountable for you know, providing a good evening for you. You can't sit there with an attitude, right, he looks different and you thought, stop, right, just enjoy the evening. You don't have to think, oh, I'm not gonna marry this guy. But I want to say this as well is that it's in dating multiple men that you start Energetically picking up the energy that works for you? Do I mean like the more you date, the more you have a sense of men and the same way they would be if they say the same thing With men? Right, date different, different, a lot of women For the sake of discovering the flavor that tastes, the energy that works for you? You think this chick, you know it's cool, you get to meet her. You know, huh, a little too much into her. Look the two little too much to herself, into too much. All right, that's not working for me. So, maybe different type girl. And then you investigate and investigate. Eventually I Always the metaphor that I use is if anybody's ever bought a house, right, that's the metaphor I use, like the first time I bought a house.

Speaker 3: 22:32

I mean Los Angeles. So there's little pockets of different areas the studio city, the Sherman Oaks, they're Encino, if you're gonna be in the valley, this LA West, la South, la East, la. So all these pockets all connected. But when I first looked at it by house were going for studio city. So I was looking for a three bedroom, two bathroom, don't double to go to our garage in a pool. I had to have a pool. Now Every house in the valley is a three bedroom, two bath, garage and pool, like every house. So this is Millions of houses. It should be a problem.

Speaker 3: 23:06

But as soon as we went out the first weekend in my realtor, we walk in a three-bedroom, two bath, whatever. Walk in the house you go hmm, yeah, no, why not? Sure? The neighbors to close the back are too small. They're like there's little things that kind of don't like. It's everything I want on paper. It doesn't feel right. Next house, same thing. Doesn't feel right. It's everything I want. Did I say that want? I have a list. Not quite right, I don't know why. The energy is off. The neighbors like it.

Speaker 3: 23:35

100 houses later, right, we realized that studio city was not good. We tried different area. That's not young Colby City, oh hell, no back. So it had that. We had to dance around, see many, many, many, many, many houses, all three bedrooms. Do that? You understand what I'm saying here? It's the same thing with men.

Speaker 3: 23:53

So, and what happened is this we will walk in the house that I purchased. Then what I walked in, I'm like whoa, okay, hold on. Oh, I went to the backyard, the pool, to set up the grounds, the neighbors, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. I looked at my wife. I'm like this is home. She's like totally. And I whipped out my checkbook and, freaking, wrote a check, but it took shopping and women have to understand this. The same thing with dating in man. Yeah, get out there and get in the presence of men, be glad that they're taking you out. It's don't stop looking for the one. Start smelling what you like, start feeling what you like and you, there's guys that you will be able. You, when you do this a lot and a lot means regularly you'll be able to Weed out the ones that you don't have to date again because you know the type, you know the style, you know the character. Do you know what I mean? It becomes like. So should I finish what I say?

Speaker 2: 24:45

Well, I mean the gist of it is date a lot.

Speaker 3: 24:49

So you know the like and what you don't like, and you you more easily discover what you, what won't work for you.

Speaker 2: 24:54

That much faster, and what will work that much?

Speaker 3: 24:57

eventually and eventually won't be dating the guys that you know that not your type, that don't work for like in all that stuff becomes literally You'd be able to pick up a madam on a phone call. You only have to go out. You know me, until like one day, like the guys go tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Right now, this one and again, you open, be vulnerable, be yourself. You want be authentic. Let him ask what he wants to find out and let him find you know.

Speaker 3: 25:20

And then you like you said Adriana is like what's your dating? My question is always what is your dating strategy? Are you dating to have fun or Are you looking for future relationship? Are you looking for marriage and kids? Like that's a very fair question. You know early enough. But I say I say wait for this. You know, after the second, third date in my world, that's, find out if we compatible, let's find out if we have chemistry, that's fine. I, he wants to see you again. You know first.

Speaker 3: 25:46

But those questions could pop up from the get-go, just If you just want to have fun. If you want to have fun and you're looking for something to build, say goodbye, all right. He wants to have fun means he just wants to play with you like you're wasting your time, you know. So Be clear on what your dating strategy is and if you want the same thing, all you were looking for somebody who wants to build the same thing you want to build the future that you want to have. There's something comes up in the beginning and it's it's. It's totally fair, it's really fair to ask. Otherwise you get a spending time guessing, hoping, hoping, hoping he wants what you want.

Speaker 2: 26:24

No, be clear. Yeah, and I know I'm sorry. No, it's fine, it's just because we had some technical issues. We're we're getting closer to the Adriana oh, all of us having to not be so. I just want to maybe Like just kind of say talk about your program, what you offer and how people can reach you, and then, if we have time, we can talk more at the end again, I just want to be able to get that right on eagle first.

Speaker 3: 26:50

So can I just go? I'll just go first. So I actually have a gift for our listeners if you don't mind. Yeah, so it's also so. I I do a lot of podcasting.

Speaker 3: 27:02

In my experience what I see is this two type of people that listen to podcasts. There are people who are looking for information and the people are looking to take action. So For your listeners, I'll give you my personal email address. So if you go to my email, direct emails, it's Andre coaching, the number one at gmailcom. Andre coaching, one a Gmail. And if it is subject, the title of the email, you write a resistible book. I would actually send you listeners. The copy of my book is 30 pages. It's a workbook called the five feminine qualities high value men find absolutely Irresistible. I sell out of my website. I'll give it. I'll give it up for free. Just email me. I'll send it to your listeners who are looking for information.

Speaker 3: 27:45

If you're a person who wants a little more action, or you connected what I said and you want to know more about the work that I do and how I could help, same thing, andre coaching, one a Gmail. And in the text in the subject matter right talk now and what I'll do is my team will send you my calendar and you can find a place in time that works for you, and then I'll send you a zoom link, will have a conversation for about an hour Exploratory call and find out where you stuck as a woman, as a man, what are you stuck? Where is it that it's not working? And dating, what do you see? That you're trapped and something is missing. And so what's not working was the dream and I'll talk about what I offer and Very casual conversation, no stress, no pressure.

Speaker 3: 28:29

But what I do really well in that call is, if you're stuck in a loop, you know it's men, are always men, are always men, are all women, are all right. This it's you and it's simply grounded in something that happens a child, if you can't be vulnerable, whatever. So the idea of a lot people come at me with. You know I have everything, I'm sweet, I blame, I may, I have money, but what's wrong with me? Well, it's probably the loop of your childhood Right, being stuck in being too masculine or, as a man, too feminine. So the loop, why is there's always the same guy, the same girl? It's, it's your, it's your Subconscious, it's your belief system that's out of whack is the lenses to which you live and you understand the world to be In that.

Speaker 3: 29:11

Call that one hour, call within 15, 20 minutes, we'll free. Well, I feel I'm really quick at this. We go right to where that happens. So now, when you realize there's nothing wrong with you, your product of your past, that's fixable, then so what's the dream? And this is what I offer. So for some people, that call alone is changed them completely, just because they understand they're not broken. It's fantastic.

Speaker 2: 29:34

Yeah, awesome. Thank you very much for offering those things.

Speaker 1: 29:38

Can you guys hear me now?

Speaker 2: 29:40

Yes, yes.

Speaker 1: 29:40

Oh my goodness, I I'm. This never happens. I just did a podcast yesterday. It's never happened before, but anyways, I just wanted to um Say something, um about what you shared before about the analogy of the house. Yeah, and this is for the women.

Speaker 2: 29:59

I was to say if you or you can share about your, your program and you know how people can meet you. If you don't, but if you just remember, that's good too.

Speaker 1: 30:05

Yeah, no, I just wanted to. I wanted to add on this a little bit because I think dating, you should use it. If you're listening and you're single and and you're Uh, dating is frustrating to you, I want to invite you to use dating as a, as a date, as as an experiment, as an experiment to know yourself, to get to know yourself a little bit deeper. Right, and, like andrew was saying, you, you go to you. You you went to House shopping, right, and you have to see so many houses in order to get to the right one, right. So go to your dating a adventures, and and, and just be Be observant of yourself, not the other person so much, but of yourself. How am I showing up here, right, what am I experiencing in my body? How do I feel in the presence of this person? Yeah, and just notice, you know how you feel, how you act, how you show up, how you handle yourself. Right, it is very important that you use dating as an opportunity for you to get to know who you are, what you like, what you desire and what you're looking for, to clarify your values. Right, not to use it against you. Use it for you.

Speaker 1: 31:19

Yeah, I know, dating can be frustrating to a lot of people. Don't, don't make it into a frustrating Experience. Make it into a fun experience, because this is just going to give you feedback. Every time you go to a dating at Out on a date, you're going to realize something more about yourself. Yeah, and it's all based on you know how you feel your body is your greatest source of of information. How you feel in your body, yeah and um good stuff, good stuff, good stuff.

Speaker 3: 31:52

I agree. Now my on my side. The first thing I saw my lady clients is that man, man come in different packages. In my world there's three types, men, you know they all look the same for the completely different Operating system. If you want their man, their guys and their boys. Man or man, their, their, their. They show up in the way that men show up. They know who they are, they know what they want, right? Those are the guys who want to build families. The other guys have every, all the value in place. Other guys who know who they have characters they have, they've disciplined themselves, they've strength. You can't knock them off their blocks, right? They're solid and command respect and expectedly respected by everyone. Those are men and those are the ones that do everything that you want. Except they're a little hard to connect with sometimes and just there's a way to communicate with them To the. You can link with them. That's probably the only problem with them.

Speaker 3: 32:49

The guys in between they're, they're masculine enough to have a job, but a little job, a little car, live with three other guys. They have zero mojo with the way the ladies they step back. They don't know what to do. They've been shamed out of being masculine, right? They don't know what to say. So they do stuff like and they ask you like so where do you want to go in the dates? So am I gonna shoot Thursday night? So so I'm not gonna shoot this weekend, right, they? They put it on you, which puts you in your mask, it in and the idea of being overly polite. It would taste the hell out of women, and so these guys don't have. So these you did. A guy like this is very frustrating.

Speaker 3: 33:24

The third type is a boy, and a boy is a grown man that lives like a little boy. And these guys, they want you to pay 50, 50. They don't want to take care of you, that I want to marry you, that I want to have your kids. They just want to fuck around. Excuse my French If you have to bleep that out, please do. They just want to play around, mess with you. They so as much, as as much as men naturally want to give, provide, protect and cherish women, naturally, boys just want to take, take, take, take, take. They take your money, they take your time, they take your sex, they take your attention, they take your, they want you to baby them. They want you to nurture them. They will. You're nursing them with your vaginas when you sleep with them, without asking anything of them having them step up. Do you know what I mean? So this is a disaster.

Speaker 3: 34:07

And I want to say, say this, and I want to lean hard on this ladies, if you're masculine, energetically, you attract boys and you think that's men and it's not so. Energy is such, nature is such, is a yin yang of our lives. Masculine and feminine is a polarity that attracts. If you're masculine, you will attract boys over and over and over and over and over, and you think that's meant as not. So you have to understand and spot the three different styles of men. So, because, if you want a man, really if you want a man who does what men do, you got to learn to be a girl and to be feminine, because that's the polarity that he needs. My, what I see all the time from my, even my women, is they forgot how to be feminine. I say you know you could be a bad ass, but in leadership you have to relax and be a woman, be feminine, and they go like this. They go like this, like they have no idea what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2: 35:04

I was to say, at home they can be feminine and then go to work and be the boss. But I do want to let Adriana have a time to, since she has just a few minutes.

Speaker 3: 35:12

No, it's fine, I loved everything you said.

Speaker 2: 35:14

I just want to make sure, she, she can say how to reach her as well. Yes, please.

Speaker 1: 35:19

Yes, so you can find me on Instagram at AdrianaSorgeCoaching, and my website is AdrianaSorgecom, and I also have a YouTube channel and same AdrianaSorgeCoaching, and what I work on is really helping you connect with your heart, really help you connect, integrate all the aspects of yourself that perhaps you have judged, you have denied, you have made wrong, so that you can become whole, which is who you truly are, so that you can really be a vibrational match to someone that wants all of you. But it begins with you. When you claim all of who you are, that's when you can become a match to someone that can see all of who you are and, um, really connecting with the heart is is dropping into your feminine. So that's the work that I Amen, sister.

Speaker 3: 36:12

Yeah, my website, my website is projectequinoxnet and I'm on Instagram, I'm on TikTok, I'm all over the place. They're all connected to it. I'm YouTube short. So if you just go projectequinoxnet, you'll find everything you can spend the day on that. There's a lot of stuff. I also do a lot of podcasting, so we Google my name with podcast. I'm all over the place, so I'm very easy to find.

Speaker 2: 36:37

And you're saying projectequinox Right, yes, pquinoxnet, and I know we are running out of time, so I do.

Speaker 2: 36:44

Thank you very much and, um, I know we talked about this a little bit last time, andre as well, but this I don't know. It's like you know both sides of it, like everyone's saying the same thing If you're, you know, if you're too masculine, you're not going to attract a masculine man that'll take care of you. You can't. And if that's what you want, then you just you get, you get to tune in, you get to tune in, and it's not your fault.

Speaker 3: 37:08

Typically, you've been raised that way. It's not your fault. But if you stay on that track, you know you'll, you'll. It's very frustrating, you know you'll. And you end up saying something like what's wrong with me, cause men keep walking away from me, or I keep attracting those abusive? You know these, these, these little boys who just want to take, take, take and they burn you out. And they're they're, by the way. These are the ones that are toxic.

Speaker 3: 37:31

Talk about toxic masculinity. Masculinity is not toxic. Boys are toxic. Those are the liars, that cheaters, those are the ones who manipulate, con, swindle right. Every boy, every dude in jail, is a boy. They're not men. They don't know who they are, they're insecure and they take their power out on the weak, women and children. Those are the toxic masculine beings. They're not men. They're not men, they're not. So let's stop with the masculine toxicity. It's not men or toxic, it's boys. And you should avoid them at all costs. And that means attracting men, means you have to step into your essence as a woman, which is your feminine beauty, your feminine divineness period. That's the magic. It's simple. It's energy, energy, energy. Energy. Not your career, not your balls, none of that stuff. Now you're money. Men don't care about that.

Speaker 2: 38:23

Sorry, no, no, yeah, I totally agree, and I assume, Andrea, adriana, you do as well, and I know where you both have or you have to leave, so I just want to make sure if you have any closing comments real quick or we can call it good.

Speaker 1: 38:37

I think that I want to. I want to, I want to leave it on my end. I want to leave it with this and and, yes, I you know. Everything that you just said is absolutely correct, andre, but I think that we really have to look into one thing, though we're always going to attract the people that most match our painful past. So, you know, the inner work is super important. Right To clean up your own side of the road is absolutely important, because until we do this, until we look into our unresolved issues, we will continue to attract people that remind us of our toxic relationships in the past or of our childhood wounds.

Speaker 3: 39:19

Right.

Speaker 1: 39:20

So so the work that I do in my, in my coaching I'm also a psychologist is really take my clients through process of healing, right, because you know you can do dating as much as you want, right. But if you haven't taken a look inside and to the end result, if you haven't resolved your unresolved your, if you haven't healed your unresolved issues from the past, you will continue to attract the same type of men, right, and it's not the men, is the patterns, right. You will continue to be attracted to the patterns that are so present inside of you that remind you of your past, because those patterns feel safe, right, and what is familiar we think is safe, even if it isn't right. So, really, you know, it's a process of like taking a look inside and making peace with your childhood wounds and with all of the unresolved stuff that continues to play a big role in your relationships.

Speaker 3: 40:18

The way I say it is like you know, you cannot, I cannot get anybody in a healthy relationship with the baggage of your past, your childhood and the past relationship. We have to clean up your baggage first and then we figure out. You know how to get a buck, how to, how to go about finding a good man with you, clean, authentic, connected, feminine. Like you know, the baggage has got to come off. Nobody can get in healthy relationship with their old baggage. It's going to be the same story. It's a disaster.

Speaker 1: 40:44

It's. You know, healthy attracts healthy. So when, when women come to me and they ask me, how can I attract a partner that is healthy, a conscious man that is healthy, and I tell them you got to become healthy in the inside right so that you can be a vibrational match to someone like that right.

Speaker 3: 41:02

Clean up your baggage. Clean up your baggage. You can't carry the old baggage with you. It's a disaster. But most of us I mean I had to do my cleanup, you know, I'm sure you did as well, that's the only way to get to the clean side.

Speaker 2: 41:15

No, one's perfect or had perfect parents, so everyone has absolutely no one issue that they hopefully resolve All right. Well, thank you very much for being on. Hopefully people got a lot out of this and thank you for your offers and letting everyone know how to get a hold of you.

Speaker 3: 41:31

So thank you again and if you like this episode.

Speaker 2: 41:34

Be sure to tell your friends about it and rate it as well. Thank you very much, everyone.

Speaker 1: 41:38

Thank you, tamara, thank you Andre, nice meeting you.

Speaker 3: 41:40

Thank you so much.