Thank You for Listening!
let's go for it.
Trevor:All right, let's go for it. Your name. Antonio, Tony Johnson, a man of many names. And I am Trevor the host of the common leaders podcast. And today is a landmark event. It is a landmark. We are here with our first common leaders interview spotlight on the leader with Mr. Tony, who I work with and have worked with now for what like two and a two and a half years. What'd you say?
Tony:yeah, two and a half years.
Trevor:Yeah. It feels in some ways it feels like you just got here. And then other times when I think about those pictures from early on of what you look like when you started, like your,
Tony:Seems way longer.
Trevor:yeah, like your prim and proper self, just out of the Navy, now you're like this full
Tony:Very low beard is very, very low.
Trevor:yeah. Full grown
Tony:Yeah.
Trevor:and like almost a totally different version of. You You think,
Tony:It's like a full 180. Yes. Like a full 180.
Trevor:I mean, it's just, it's a solid hundred and 20, I think you might've had 60 degrees, leftover what what's, what do you feel like is, what do you feel like is a change since I've met you that you're most proud of?
Tony:Hmm. A change that I am the most proud of.
Trevor:Cause, cause you've, you've tweaked a lot about your approach to the world, it seems
Tony:Um, that's a really good question. Hmm. The one I'm the most proud of, I would have to say my willingness to, um, to start over, to be willing to start over. That's my biggest,
Trevor:Is there like a moment that you felt that switch, when you reflect back that you made your first big change and you're like, okay, this could work to just start over.
Tony:yes, definitely. Um, right, right after March of last year, honestly March of 2020, like in a sense, I, like, I paid attention to the things like before then I was still, I was still doing the same actions. I was walking the same steps. I was still thinking the same. I just wasn't in the military. I was still following that same natural process. Every single day and then COVID happened. So when March came, um, Irene's dad passing and of course COVID being big, work, transition to online, all of these things happening at once. Not being able to see the kids, trying to try to expect what's going to happen next. I realized at that point I had to be willing to change because the world was changing and there was no way I was going to continue to grow
Trevor:yeah.
Tony:if I didn't change with it.
Trevor:Specifically the external factors you brought up were so different than your average story like that, because it was, it was not like a cinder block got dropped into your backpack. It was like a cinder block got dropped into the world's backpack
Tony:Yeah.
Trevor:Then 2020 going into 2021 was when it started to get real for specifically for your family. Right. Cause you hadn't, you had an aunt, you had,
Tony:yeah.
Trevor:who else
Tony:And then Roger, uh, my grandma, my mom.
Trevor:in grand mom was like trying not to go to the hospital and.
Tony:Yeah. For her stomach surgery. Yeah. This year. It was this year. Yeah. I got the, I got the timeframes mixed up. Everything was this year. Instead it started with February this year. That's
Trevor:And then the world stopped. I feel like the world stopped. It started to slow down with, with your grandma and mom, and then Roger hit in, that's what you're saying was like one of the big catalysts for your flip, right?
Tony:yeah,
Trevor:180 of change.
Tony:the 180 of change. And the reason why it's, well, I put it, I guess in February with Roger's timeframe and where we were, um, because I knew in my house that my wife confidence in the way she was, was really had a really, really big connection to her relationship with her father. Like that was her, that was her peace of mind. That was her guidance. And so with him passing, um, I realized that there was gonna be this big transition in home. And if I wasn't ready for some type of change, they're ready to know how my home was going to continue to move forward. So in that moment, or in that timeframe, I had to come up with this. I had to make a decision. Do I, do I change now? And see where it takes us for the best, or do I continue to stay the way I am? And I hope that, you know, my family will continue to go as if this, this thing never happened and I'm happy. I made a decision because we're in October and it's still, it's still there. That presence, that, that pain that is still there. So
Trevor:yeah. Yeah. What was the, the first thing that you decided to really change either perspective or habit on. Was there a specific thing that you were like, step one of trying to make this okay. Whatever that means for my family?
Tony:Yeah, step one became honestly being more open to what they're going through. And I know that sounds crazy, but you know, when you're, when you're, when you're a dad and you're married and your family explains something they're going through from where I am from way I look at it, I react to it as if I hear you, but I know you're going to get better and get over it because we always do. You have support. And so we always look at it, you have support. So I know you'll get better. And with this situation, it was more like, you know what? I don't want to say that because that's not being supportive and that's not, that's not, that's not being the full circle. That's not giving all in and just, and being there in a time where someone being there as needed. And so I thought, well, let's start there. Let's let's, let's not be like, it'll be okay. You're going to get better. You got support. And I sat back and I listened. That's it just sat back and listen in and try to provide the support from there based off what was requested and what I felt was needed versus what I thought was going to be okay.
Trevor:As somebody who's known you through some of those ups and downs at a distance, at least I'm really proud of you. And as your friend, I'm proud of how you handled that and about that switch, because specifically when you said I listened to them and tried to go with what they were requesting, how that they get in my head, when I met you, that is not, not necessarily your first instinct, your first instinct was like, I've been there and done that. You should do it exactly how I tell you to here steps one, two, and three.
Tony:two, three,
Trevor:Yeah.
Tony:so true.
Trevor:Yeah. It's I think it's awesome. I think it's awesome that I have, it's obviously terrible that those are the circumstances that led you to that flip, but, it was either, like you said, it was kind of a choice of, do you make start making flips or do you not, and you went more for it? Um, yeah, it's just bizarre that it's been what, seven months, really of seven, eight months
Tony:Seven months.
Trevor:and, and it wasn't just that I remember, of course, like the event of earlier in the year that also probably started to pull the plug on some of those things and then like kind of trickled in one day,
Tony:trickled. It is way down. Yeah.
Trevor:And it, it just changed a lot. Yeah. I know you had some pretty meaningful discussions with your kids after that too. In the subsequent months since you. Started operating like that sort of different model of parenting and family man, you've totally changed your relationship with your kids. It seems like too. When they were out here, you were saying how you listened to their stories of what was going on in their life and you were completely blown
Tony:yeah, blown away is, I mean, I'm blown away for the fact that I, like I said, I sat and I listened. I listened for once I listened. And what I realized is that while yes, they're kids, they have, they're conscious. They think they feel, they express things. They do things differently. And being a parent, you know, one of the biggest things that I feel like I want to be able to provide is, is guidance, leadership support. And if I'm not listening, if I'm not hearing the things, then how can I lead? How can I be supportive? And so when they came out this summer, you know, part of that big 180 was okay, continue to listen, listen, listen them out here. They're saying instead of like, trying to anticipate or. Or predict or already assume, take the time to hear and just let them express whatever it may be. And as a parent, take my experience, you know, my, my growth, my wisdom, and help them help them understand I'm the same time trying to discipline if it was needed. So, yeah,
Trevor:You're
Tony:the big, I guess the start of the whole one, I guess the whole big, the whole big start of the 180 is listening. Honestly, it's listening.
Trevor:This is one of the reasons that I'm so excited to talk to you in general, but including today is I imagine if I was in a similar circumstance as you, as a dad and a stepdad and a center to your family in general. I would, I would be curious to know, like now that you are learning through and adjusting to the listening part, like what if I was in somebody's similar shoes, my immediate thought would be what's next looks like, okay. I sat and I listened to them now, what do I do? I think that's especially a stepdad probably, but a data in general, because sometimes men are not super patient with kids and maybe don't have the greatest track record
Tony:um,
Trevor:listening to this and I hear Tony say. I'm going to start making a positive change as a family man or a family person, and you're telling me one of the first steps is listening, do you have follow-up or is it like legit? Just start with listening. Do you write it down? Like meditate on it? What do you do?
Tony:no, no. There's followup. So step one of course is listening because I feel like listening to. It was probably the hardest thing to do is listen to someone else. And so now it's more of a, um, engaging and getting out of comfort. And I slowly been doing it over like months of engaging in more things that make me feel uncomfortable. And that's part of it. It's it's, it's trying to try to connect with people on, in many different ways that I typically wouldn't or, or put, or, Like get out of my comfort zone. Seriously. Get out of zone.
Trevor:Yeah. Well, I know of, we just talked about earlier today, your shoes are silly, but to me from the outside, looking in one of the more material, examples of the big change that you've made in the last six or seven months is where are you place value? Because when I met you, the shoes were a core piece. And I know even now, when you talk about shoes, I see light up a little, but then you pull it back in
Tony:pull it back just a little bit and be like, uh, don't get too attached to it again. Yeah. Like being, being just more, honestly, I guess you can say being more diverse. It's really hard for me to like tell myself that I want to grow in a, in a profession and a career. I want to grow mentally and spiritually, but then I still stay connected to the things that make me comfortable. Like I feel like that's a critical part in transitioning and being comfortable as the thing that keeps me attached to the things that I don't want to be attached to. And so that this one is probably the go ahead.
Trevor:no, no, no, go.
Tony:That was going to say, uh, kind of get out of the comfort zone. I realized it takes a lot of, um, encouragement from friends and friends. Really the people that you, that you like sharing your experiences with, those are the people that are going to dig me out of this. Cause trying to do it solo is so hard.
Trevor:Yeah. Your own assessment of yourself as a person has always fascinated me. In what you just said about digging you out is also really fascinating because I thought you were a pretty, pretty awesome human being, before March of this year, too. So when you say dig out, mean, you have, in fairness, you've been digging for what? 20 years? Honestly, I think if,
Tony:just digging.
Trevor:you've like you, imagine you you're digging a hole, right. But imagine for a second, you're digging a hole to build the steps in it together. You know what I'm saying? you dig a little and then you dig a little more and you dig a little more, but when you say dig myself out of a hole and that's why you need your friends support, it's almost like the change and the digging out of a hole has been you thinking you're out of the hole and actually realizing you're on the next step and you have to keep digging
Tony:And you have to keep digging and keep going. Yeah. It's almost like a sense of complacency
Trevor:yeah, well,
Tony:that you just don't realize it.
Trevor:yeah, yeah. You don't sit in complacency too long. Do you?
Tony:I actually, I do. If you think about it, the things I eat, the things I like to wear, the places I like to get. Originally was the people I like to be around. It was all things that make me comfortable. There was no real change in it.
Trevor:um,
Tony:Outside of a connection. If there was no connection, there was no real change
Trevor:So you're telling me, I just want to clarify what you just said. So you're telling me if you're, if you're 22 year old self walked into the room right now, you'd be like, oh yeah, I know that guy. We have a lot in common.
Tony:like right now.
Trevor:Yeah. If, if your 22 year old self walked into that room with you and you started sharing interests,
Tony:no, no, not even close, not even close,
Trevor:how, how old were you when, when Ari came into your life?
Tony:I was, I was like 20, 23. I was 23.
Trevor:And that was just before the Navy, right?
Tony:No, that was, that was, that was two years in it.
Trevor:Oh, it was.
Tony:That was, that was my first duty station that was after bootcamp after like basic elistic training at the specialty training at the advanced specialty training that was finally getting to a duty station. Like let's play Navy sailor, and then boom.
Trevor:Hey.
Tony:Hey, welcome back to adulthood.
Trevor:welcome to probably, yeah, I don't know. I think the, the, the places you've dug yourself through is just it's. I don't know. It's incredible. Like the person you are. I tell you this all the time, your, your whole self today, is, a very impressive human from a lot of different angles. And then when I strip it all away and think to myself, really, what is your superpower? If everything else was just throwing bullets at you, what's left. And to me, it's always your, your dad abilities, your daddy. So anytime I think about like where your, where I imagined in my head, your biggest growth points have come in my head, it's always like kid related, but, but maybe that's a poor assessment, but you just
Tony:No, I think that's a great assessment. I think that's a really good assessment, like, cause like I said, um, friends, right? Let's let's use it for is let's use art as a free, um, when I say like being connected to individuals that have helped me like change and mold are, is a great example. Um, when Ari came into my life, I mean, other than me being Jayden's dad, that was like, I didn't have to be there. I didn't have to keep a connection, but at that point decided to be her dad and continue to be her dad today. That's one of the big starts of me being a better person. If I look back at 22 year old me, like if I could look back and compare both people and sit down and have a conversation, they would've made separate decisions if, if I wouldn't have made that connection.
Trevor:sure.
Tony:And so that's why, I mean, like having, having, having friends that support, because that support is what makes me step over to the next level of growth and growth. And
Trevor:yeah. I think one of the more interesting changes to of the last six or seven months has been your view on what growth is, because when I met you and until pretty recently, and sometimes still it does seem like the only way that you see growth that you're comfortable with is when it's objectively upward, a higher degree or a more of this, or a nicer that, and it, it seems again from the outside, watching this, it seems it's slowly faded away. I haven't heard you talk about your dream car in six months, for instance, you've been, you've been given away your shoes and you've been having these revolutionary conversations with your friends and with your kids. It's totally remolded. I never really thought about it that way either. It's some of that started to fall away about the same time as those conversations entered.
Tony:That's true. Yeah. Like of course I want to have a great career course. I'm going to have a nice house and I want a nice income and who wouldn't want a fancy card, but at the end of the day, what I truly, what I really want is I guess, a more stiff piece. And with that comes, like, let all that stuff go because it's not important. Like being at peace with myself, a guaranteed job, I'll have all those things for a fact. I just have to like, believe in that. And I have to like put my, put my interest in that and put my focus in that. And so
Trevor:that was, that was a big, that was a, such a small statement, but so big at the same time.
Tony:you think, so why is that?
Trevor:Well, because what I heard was a self pieces is more, so your goal now, or what you think about when you think about centering your life around something and that, that sense of self peace thereby changes the boundaries and makes it so no matter where you are in. You are, you're always going to have enough because it's what you have then
Tony:Yep. That's perfect. Thanks. That's a good summary that breaks it all down. I mean, if you think about, if I think about it before now, right? Everything was about reaching the next thing, reaching the next thing, reaching this accomplishment, this goal, um, this doing this and the Navy. Oh, when I got out of the Navy, I gotta get this degree. I gotta get this job. I gotta get paid this much. I to go buy this house, like, well, yes, that sounds great. Me shouting it out, but it didn't do anything for me internally, if anything had caused so much stress. And as I tried to like make those, as I tried to like grow internally, As I tried to grow externally, it just didn't match it. Didn't my focus. Wasn't the same. While I, while I screamed out and yelled out, I'm going to go to college. I'm going to get a really good job. I wanted to set an example for my family. I'm going to do all these accomplishments. My, my focus in inside was still the same thing. I cared about my clothes, my shoes, my next degree, how much money I was gonna get paid after the military, in the military, things that I get, like show to the world, look what I've done, but an inside I had to get rid of it. I had to let that go. Letting that go.
Trevor:oh yeah.
Tony:Yeah.
Trevor:It, it just
Tony:Yeah,
Trevor:because I'm still mid book that we're book clubbing right now, because I can only get through three pages at a time with all the extra work I've been doing. Oh, the kind of the connections between them, the connections between them. Cause I'm constantly trying to understand it obviously from a super different perspective. but for any person, what you just said. I don't want to be the person that says, that's the problem with America these days? It's everybody wants too much, you know, shut up. But I think the part you said about, still wanting those things, while also recognizing if I can't have those things today, or while I'm working towards those things, I better darn well have the rest of it working. Okay. Otherwise what's the point But even more than that is, oh, it's so hard to fight that. I don't know if it's at this country thing, cause I've only ever lived in this country, but just the constant, what's next constant. The way to define success is dollars
Tony:Yep. Why, why does it have to be that way? And what did you do with it? Yep. How did you invest it? Like what did you make wise decisions? I feel like, I feel like I took so much stress on what I needed to accomplish, to show everybody else to prove that, Hey, I had reached success. That honestly, it's all about to me now. It's all about how do I feel on the inside? Am I at peace with what I've done and does it make me happy? And does it make the people around me happy? And if that's, if that's the case, then every success
Trevor:oh, man, I don't want to clap, but I don't want to make some bad audio. That was what maybe, it's it's I want a broad brush and just say, I wish that, or I think that our generation of, of people of age ish group, and our let's call it late twenties through, through late thirties. But I, I don't think, I don't know. Do you, do you think that you relate to people in that way, your peers and your friends and family of similar age, do you think that a lot of people you encounter in Noelle share that feeling with you and that value? Okay.
Tony:I do, honestly, do I feel like the more we have those conversations, the more, the more it becomes a topic like prior to now, I really didn't talk to family and friends about stuff like that. You talk about the surface things, how was work what's new in your life? What's got you stressed. Have you been on vacation? But the moment I started talking about like, what brings you to peace? Like not outside of the materialistic things or like world accomplishments, but re really brings you to peace. I feel like they started, they started disclosing those things and it made our connection so much, so much better. Like I got the world's greatest connection and relationship with my mother. But when we started talking about bigger topics and more peaceful things, a man it's insane. Like the level she puts me on in like the jewel I get at each conversation, I feel some form of growth. So
Trevor:So, so basically taking a hammer to the silence, or do you find yourself doing that most frequently or do other people do it with you? If you're in a conversation with somebody you care about and do you F do you find that it naturally happens or do you find that you have to be the one that breaks the wall and ask that question that creates this almost awkward silence until they decide they're going to answer it? know what
Tony:uh, I got a two-part Institute. Yeah. I got a two-part answer to that. Um, so originally, yes, it is very awkward for me anyways. Super awkward. Um, but originally with my mother, it wasn't because she was already at that point and she was waiting. So if anything, I think it was awkward for her, for me to finally acknowledge. Oh yeah. I can talk to you on this level about things. Um, as far as like, as far as like other people and friends. Yeah. It was definitely, it's definitely awkward in the beginning because you're trying to explain, you're trying to talk about something deep, like personal peace and they're still like, they're still focused on, you know, the surface level stuff. And so you have to, like, you have to slowly engage it. Just bits and pieces. I realized that I can't do it in one conversation. I can't do it in one sitting it's slow, it's slowly fed. And then once it's reciprocated and it's truly like hurt whenever, whenever the time comes to really talk about it, they initiate it
Trevor:You throw it
Tony:the awkward is gone.
Trevor:You throw it out there.
Tony:Yeah. Just throw it out there
Trevor:but if they don't take it, then you just cut the line and let the bait float around there until they're ready to grab it.
Tony:until they're ready to grab it and talk about it. Think about, cause I feel like it's really, it really is something uncomfortable when you, when you talk about when you're, when you're just discussing, you know what I want to, I want to speak on growth and development and success, but I don't want to talk about it in, in a worldly way with my occupation or my finance or, or my world status. Talk about it internally. That's, that's awkward. That's an uncle. That's an uncomfortable feeling to share with somebody else, even if you're close with them.
Trevor:yeah. Yeah. It's from a similar experience with my family, especially I find it. I find that once I broke the mold of talking about those things, I generally don't stop doing it, even if they don't bite. I'm really glad afterwards that I told them those things because I care about them and I want them to be in my Headspace. And I would say your experience with your mom, who we need to shout out big time, but your experience with your mom is,
Tony:Lavinia
Trevor:what's that
Tony:as they shout out to Lavinia,
Trevor:Levenia, we've got to do
Tony:Lavinia. Woo.
Trevor:I didn't have that experience. I love my parents and my mom. I Have a great relationship with my mom, but when it comes to those kinds of conversations, I think similarly, sometimes it's just one way, but I always feel better after having done it, you know, selfishly, because I got to live with myself.
Tony:That's true. And that means you get that good feeling of at least I put it, I put it out there. Like I put it out there now. I just, I just wait.
Trevor:Yeah. There's, there's something weird about that, that, that wall of silence that is deeper topics that gets that stuff. Doesn't. If you think about your, your gravestone, assume it's a digital scroll at some point and on your digital scroll, that looks like a Facebook status that is on your, your gravestone. You're probably only going to make the things that you talked about people with, but if you wrote your own, it might have all these things that people didn't know about you. Can you imagine, you imagine, going up to, the cousin or best friend you're closest with and scrolling through their top 20 moments in life and having no idea what those things were,
Tony:What does where
Trevor:How, how awful would you feel a, if you were reading it, but your point. It's got to start with you. If it can't be them, it's gotta be you, I guess.
Tony:it has to be, it really has to be, you know, um, let's, let's use, it's just Irene for an example. I love using hiring. Um,
Trevor:can you not love Irene?
Tony:well I, with me knowing I ran it for almost eight years, um, I would say the LA this past year is probably, is honestly the first time I felt like I've known my wife a hundred percent in and out. And we've talked on like the deepest levels, like the deepest levels on many topics several times throughout the years. But this year is probably the first time where I felt myself at, at self peace and inner peace. And she's there where we've really engaged in like those bigger topics of being successful outside of, oh, we bought a house together. Oh, we've graduated grad school together. Or are we going to do this financially? We've we've gone more deeper. Like, Hey, what is it that you're looking forward to, to fulfill that void in your heart and your soul? Like how we both restate it as a unit. We've never talked about it. It talked about things like that until this year.
Trevor:That's that's pretty awesome as
Tony:Awesome and scary.
Trevor:well. Yeah, it's definitely scary. It's one of those, one of those things in life, like winning a hundred million dollars, that's, an amazing thought and also terrifying or technology awesome and terrifying
Tony:Exactly.
Trevor:Once you break through it's, you got to break through the communication, the communication wall that you broke through with Irene, it sounds like, or, or maybe just knocked down, took a hammer to where life did, is on par with those types of life-changing things in history, because that's how big it is to you. It sounds anyways, it's it's world changing.
Tony:it is, it's definitely world changing. It's look at it this way. Um, you have a best friend, someone you care about the most in the world, and then you've known her for years. You've done all these great things, all these great things, all these great experiences. And for the first time, for the very first time, you truly understand what makes them tick. It's like, it's like opening a book for the first time. You're reading the first line of being like, wow, this is interesting. This is new. I never know. Like, imagine taking that connection. You already. This is real, like, exactly. Like this is real. This is a pretend like I it's, it exists. I can touch it. That's it's fascinating. But at the same time, like I said, it's scary. But once you reached that level, I feel like that stuff, like you said, a while ago, a couple of weeks ago, you're finding the true steps to success because it's more than just what you accomplished that doesn't really doesn't really define it.
Trevor:well, and I think, in fairness to all of the things that you have on paper, what you've accomplished off of paper is at least on par and may be greater. I don't think it minimizes all the other things you've done at all. You really have
Tony:Yeah.
Trevor:off to, to. Take care of the material success to show yourself as a good citizen and then some, to save people from burning buildings. And, like you've, you've done some really, really admirable things in your travels. And I really, you finished your master's degree what, two years of getting out of, out of the Navy. And only a year and a half year and a half while working full time and being a dad of three, those things are really, really amazing things at the average. A lot of people don't accomplish that, but you've, you've pushed through and done so many things. And then on top of that, now here, you find yourself saying none of that stuff matters because of that. Being your family or your wife or your kids
Tony:I mean, those things matter. They matter. They, um, I guess you just don't put all your energy and focus and attention on it anymore. It's no reason to, because like self peace allows you to accomplish those type of goals. Like they matter, but why focus on them? If you just, if you just love yourself and believe in what you're gonna, what you're gonna do and what you're capable of, you don't even have to focus on it. You don't have to acknowledge it cause you know, it's coming. Would you agree?
Trevor:Yeah. I mean I have a super different circumstance in terms of. Really our backgrounds and our current lives, other than living in a similar place, working in a similar field and being the only two, males at our workplace. We don't have a ton of things in common. If you go down a Venn diagram,
Tony:Let's check boxes
Trevor:you're like no, that's it. No, that's it. And then there's two or three things in the middle. And, and when it, when it comes to those values, I think it's really similar. And that's why I've been, oh man, in staff meetings, when I found myself about to break and go completely emotional, I just had one of those. But when I thought about this podcast and the type of people that exist in the world, you are who I thought of because we share those values. And, I just think you have a million other reasons. That you shouldn't necessarily feel that way. A lot of, a lot of things that you could use it as an excuse, to, to say that Nope, that, that stuff that you just mentioned about the connection piece, and about the being at peace with yourself and that the material things and the the superstar things don't matter if you don't have the core figured out is when I say it and think about it in my head. It's cool. And I feel relieved when I see it in you and hear it from you and have been extremely fortunate to be even a part of that journey with you, to watch it and be a part of it. It's, it's so much more, and the impact you have on the people that are closest to you is, is it. It's so changing, I think about even the conversations you've had with your kids during the last couple of months that you've shared and the conversations you've had, with Irene totally different level, you're talking about. And for me, that stuff just isn't as consequential because I don't have the same level of let's just call it what it is tax forms dependence in my life. I don't have really any dependence. The one person that sort of relies on me as my wife. And she's one of the most independent people you will ever be. My cats, they don't care as long as I feed them. I just don't have the same level of people that rely on me like you do so to, to pull, to pull them, push them, tug them, whatever it takes to continue going on your path, is so cool. That if I was, again, if I was in a similar circumstance or if I knew someone who I cared about who found themselves with any similarities to you in terms of the Navy, where you were brought up and the things you were brought up doing, the, the kids that have popped up and along and along the way, the things that have
Tony:way
Trevor:the things that have been brought to your doorstep. If I shared any of those things with you, and there's so many connecting points, that's one of the coolest parts about you, Mr. Tony, is that you have so many connecting points. You were one of the most relatable people I have ever met. And if I shared even one of those things with you, I would want to follow you wherever you go. I would want to follow your example because you, especially in the last six months, you've gone from a cool guy who had a lot of merits and a lot of accomplishments on paper to, again. To somebody that knows you in the way that I do, which is not super deep, but pretty deep, I think on some levels.
Tony:it's deep. I think it's pretty deep.
Trevor:I just it's. So it's so cool to get to know this version of you. I thought it was cool to know you before and every time we talk like this, I feel more grateful to learn from you.
Tony:Oh man. Oh, that's a thing that's
Trevor:If you're not using
Tony:that's really, that's really silly. You just say
Trevor:if you're not using the excuses, then why should I? And it's not you don't ask too much of the world, you just ask for the world to hang out with you and, and don't be a jerk. And you don't even ask them that, you ask so little of the world, and you just given, given, give, and take care of yourself into your point about self piece. It's one thing to give and give and give it's another to be all about yourself. To start to find that balance is super cool.
Tony:Yeah, you're right. You know, one thing that you said that was real, that I, that I liked was, um, when you were expressing about dependence tax, war dependence, um, with all those accomplished with all those accomplishments. Well, yeah, they're great. They're awesome. It's great for my kids to be able to see it for cousins and friends and associates. It's great for people to see you make those accomplishments, but when they don't see you at pieces of their self, I don't think they believe it. I don't think they believe in themselves. They can do it. It's almost like watching it from afar. Like it's like watching Michael Jordan make that game winning shot. Like I see Michael Jordan doing it, but also see Michael Jordan at peace with himself. So he got, he has all those accomplishments, but you know, if you don't see that, then do you really believe it? Do you, do you believe in yourself? And honestly, my, my whole, my whole, I realized my whole motivation is success. My personal success besides pieces is hopefully other people get that same inspiration. Hopefully they find their own success, but I realized it does have to start with self peace. Okay.
Trevor:yeah. Yes. Yeah. I, I completely agree. That's that's my, my hope with these kinds of conversations is to provide people a voice and an experience like yours, a very small slice of it in fairness, but to provide a slice. I could be that guy, I'm not there right now, but, but this guy, he's a Michael Jordan, you were the Michael Jordan of your world and everybody has a world that's theirs. So you don't need to be the Tony version of your world. But, but here's a guy who's done. What I like to, I guess what I hope to provide to the world and tips are low effort, big impact. And a lot of the things you talk about are not the kind of things that are unattainable, where you have to buy a gym package, in a membership to X, Y, or Z, it's
Tony:At the start to get it started.
Trevor:yeah. You just find a wall of communication, you bust that sucker in. So truly this was this, I know you have a four o'clock basketball game, so I'm trying to,
Tony:Oh,
Trevor:hold it tight. No, no,
Tony:keep going.
Trevor:nah, I don't want to be disrespectful like that. Plus I got you Sandy today. So from a sensory respect standpoint, I know I need to back off a little because you got all Sandy to hang out at the beach today and sand is not your thing.
Tony:Yeah, we had a good day. It was a really good day though. This mother was, it was really, really cool. It's really cool. You should ask Laura what I shared with her. I think we struck gold with so far.
Trevor:Nice. Nice. I will. Uh, we
Tony:Milestone milestone activity coming soon.
Trevor:man I'm both terrified and so proud. Well, seriously, what I see all interact in a, such a collaborative, productive way. And then. As somebody who is close and cares about both of you, but also as somebody who has tried to craft a culture and a team that wants to do that, I'm so fulfilled. I'm so fulfilled to let you do scheme together and great things. Uh,
Tony:Oh man.
Trevor:man. Well, when I met you, if you had told me, you're going to be doing a podcast with this guy in a couple of years, I would've said sweet, because I think, I think the moment, the moment I met you and started to learn about you, I started to have different visions of the world. know why. Yeah. Yeah. I just thought, I thought a person, you had so much to share, and you just, you have such a heavy impact on most of the people that are in your orbit. And that's power. It's both cool. Just casually, but it's also a lot of power and a lot of influence and you have a ton of influence on the people around you. So if you had told me that, I would have said cool. That's that's excellent. I hope that happens because I think you have a lot to offer and I'll, I'll send you the recording of this, of course. So you can
Tony:Of course,
Trevor:and if there's anything you don't want to publish that we won't, but man, I am, I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited for people to hear you. Yeah.
Tony:I just want, I just want to be able to share not only my message, but your message because your message is big. This is big. I mean, everybody, there are a lot of people doing podcasts right now. There really is everybody and their mom, dad, sister, and brother has a podcast, but I feel like what you're doing right now is taking the average person, the average person that defined success in leadership and putting them on a platform where they can, they can speak their truth and what all they've done and share those things is important. It really is. It's it's it's game changing and I feel like you're, you're going to be the pioneer. So thank you for letting me be a part of this. Endless endless amounts of options.
Trevor:the amount of goodness that you have to teach people is almost endless. So I'm really excited. And also you and I are one of how many billions of people live in the world. I don't remember. I think. About a billion and a half in India, somewhere similar in China, maybe a billion. And I think we're maybe 700 million in the U S those are the
Tony:Yeah,
Trevor:countries, I think.
Tony:the biggest.
Trevor:so let's just call it three and a half billion, 4 billion, something like that, people in the world and 700 million just in the United States. So when I think of the chances of you and I being the brightest, the brightest stars in the sky to make a difference in the world, I'm no, obviously not. We just happened to be two of them. And so I think, I can't wait to meet everybody's Antonio, Brittany, I'm so excited to talk to and learn about other people. That have taken similar paths, in terms of finding excellent somewhere in the world. So, I appreciate you Mr. Tony, more than you could ever imagine for doing this with me and sharing with me and, sharing in general, this is maybe one of the lighter, deep conversations we've ever had. Funny enough, we, that we've gone in some other directions before, and I really appreciate you being on. And again, I think we should shout out our moms real fast again, because you mentioned your mom and if we're being
Tony:of
Trevor:are our first cheers to Grace and Lavinia. Thank you, mom. What we would be
Tony:Love you.