Imagine living with unshakeable self-worth and confidence. Join me, Kristi Falany, on a journey to uncover your true identity and heal past traumas to embrace your authentic self. Through the Empowering Women's Coffee and Connections group, we’ll explore the difference between self-worth and self-confidence. You’ll learn that self-worth is inherent and doesn’t depend on external validation or achievements.
Discover how nurturing both self-worth and self-confidence leads to true fulfillment. Recognizing your self-worth naturally boosts your confidence, paving the way for a more purposeful life. We’ll cover practical strategies like setting personal goals, continuous learning, and regular reflection to keep you motivated.
I invite you to share this journey with friends, leave five-star reviews, and join our Summer Review Series. Learn the importance of community, feedback, and self-compassion in fostering growth. Consider personal coaching to rediscover your passionate self and celebrate the woman God created you to be. Together, let’s build a foundation for lasting happiness and fulfillment.
Imagine living with unshakeable self-worth and confidence. Join me, Kristi Falany, on a journey to uncover your true identity and heal past traumas to embrace your authentic self. Through the Empowering Women's Coffee and Connections group, we’ll explore the difference between self-worth and self-confidence. You’ll learn that self-worth is inherent and doesn’t depend on external validation or achievements.
Discover how nurturing both self-worth and self-confidence leads to true fulfillment. Recognizing your self-worth naturally boosts your confidence, paving the way for a more purposeful life. We’ll cover practical strategies like setting personal goals, continuous learning, and regular reflection to keep you motivated.
I invite you to share this journey with friends, leave five-star reviews, and join our Summer Review Series. Learn the importance of community, feedback, and self-compassion in fostering growth. Consider personal coaching to rediscover your passionate self and celebrate the woman God created you to be. Together, let’s build a foundation for lasting happiness and fulfillment.
Thanks for listening. Follow me in Facebook and Instagram.
Speaker 1:
Hi, I am Christy Ballard-Fellaini. I am a certified life coach who found herself at 42, freshly divorced, kids off to college, and having never dated in my adult life. I was starting in the middle. If you haven't yet hit, start on your middle time in life, let's do it together. Let the journey begin. Hello, my friends, I hope that you are having an awesome day. I know so far I am, and so I am super excited that you are here today and thank you. Thank you so much for tuning in and thank you so much for letting me be a part of your day. It totally means so much to me. So what I have for you today? So I wanted to share with you a topic that we talked about inside my women's group. The group is called Empowering Women's Coffee and Connections. It actually started as an in-person group. We have been going strong for a year now. We have been meeting on the second Wednesday of each month for a solid year Now.
Speaker 1:
Back in April, when I had my foot surgery, we did move into the online space specifically because of my foot surgery recovery. But even though we have changed the way the format looks, we have still been learning some amazing things inside this women's group. So this summer I decided to do a series, and the series is called the Summer of you. Now, when we met in June, we talked about identity. Now, when we met in June, we talked about identity. We talked about how you find, cultivate and step into your true identity. We talked about how do you decide what your identity is. That month was so powerful because what we learned inside the discussion that we had was that we have our true self that we are not willing to share out with the entire world. So what I mean by that is that you have your inner self, your inner life, that, for whatever reason, you keep secret to yourself. You're not even willing to show that inner part of you to the people who love you, to the people who are closest to you. And then part of your identity also branches out a little bit further, and I think that you'll agree that there are parts of you that you are willing to share with your close loved ones, your close family, your close friends, right. And then there is the next part of your identity that you are willing to share with the outside world. Now, if you take some time to reflect on this, I am willing to bet that you will see in yourself that you don't share all of you with the outside world, and so the reason that we looked at identity in the able to do some healing around the things that you're not willing to share.
Speaker 1:
I am hoping that you are going to do some healing around the past traumas that you have gone through, some healing around the things that have been holding you back. Because what I would love for every single woman who I encounter and who I have the ability, the privilege of working with, is that at some point, they are going to come to terms with their true identity. They are going to have so much love for themselves, so much self-worth, so much self-confidence that they are going to be confident in sharing their entire selves at any time, in any situation, with any group that they happen to encounter, that they will be their true, authentic self in every single situation. Because I personally believe that when you are able to show up in any situation with no self-judgment, with total self-worth intact in place and confident in every single situation that you encounter, I believe is the utmost in coming into who God truly created you to be. So, as I mentioned inside the Summer Review series in June we talked about your identity, where your identity comes from, what you're willing to share with the world, and we talked about some healing steps to help you to move into the woman that God created you to be. And we took it a step further inside the Summer of you series for July.
Speaker 1:
Inside the Summer of you series in July, we talked about the difference between self-worth and self-confidence. There is a difference. A lot of times people think if I just have more confidence in myself, in my abilities, then I can move to the next step, then I can create the things that I want for myself, then I will have the confidence to be my true self out in the world. I'll have the confidence to create the life that I want, have the confidence to create the life that I want. But oftentimes what we don't understand is that it is actually our self-worth that drives our self-confidence. So I want to share quickly with you the difference between self-confidence and self-worth. And I took it a step further for the month of July and I shared with the women inside this series two additional secret ingredients. So it's your self-worth plus your self-confidence plus two more ingredients that will help you to have joy in your life and will help you feel fulfilled within your life. So I know I'm getting way ahead of myself, because this topic just so sets me on fire. So what I'm going to share with you first is the difference between self-confidence and self-worth. Are you ready? Buckle in.
Speaker 1:
So when we talk about self-worth, self-worth is that internal sense, it is inside of you. It's that sense of being good enough, being worthy of love, belonging just as you are. So you may not recognize this, but you were actually born with your self-worth. You came into this world being worthy, being worthy of happiness, being worthy of being in any space that you could possibly want to go. So your self-worth is not at all based on how you view your qualities. It is not based on what is happening around you. It is definitely not based on your achievements, on your failures, on external validation, on your failures on external validation, and the biggest thing that I want you to know is that you were born worthy.
Speaker 1:
Now, what has happened over time is you have been in different circumstances. You have been brought up in a world that may not have known how to foster self-worth, may not known that you were already born into it, and so what I encourage you to do is to understand that this is something that was already implanted inside of you and I believe that once you make that mindset shift of yes, I am worthy, I am good enough, as I already am. I came into this world belonging to be here, belonging and able to take up space and worthy of love, I think that once you are able to understand that, I take that back. I know that once you are able to understand that, then all of the other pieces to this puzzle are going to fall into place. Once you understand that you were already brought into this world worthy, it's going to change your view on self-confidence. It's going to change your view on how you show up in the world. It's going to change your view on your identity and what you're willing to share with the rest of the world.
Speaker 1:
Okay, so now what's the difference between self-worth? Self-worth is your internal sense. It comes from inside of you. All right, your self-confidence is external. It's linked to external things. It's your attitude about the skills you possess. It's your attitude about how you think you compare to the outside world. It's based on your skills, your qualities, your traits. It's based on external validation. Okay, remember that. I said, your self-worth is on the inside, whereas your self-confidence is linked to external things. Now, the cool thing about it is that you understand that your self-confidence will fluctuate. Your self-confidence will fluctuate based on your circumstances. Fluctuate based on your circumstances.
Speaker 1:
So say, for instance, I'm going to go have lunch with some of my girlfriends, some really close girlfriends right, my self-confidence is going to be at a higher level because I know that these girls love me. I know that these girls have my back. I know that when we sit down, we're going to have an opportunity to pour into each other's lives, because we care about what is going on in each other's lives. So when I walk into that situation, my self-confidence is going to be operating at a higher level. However, when I walk into, say, a networking meeting where I am trying to sell myself as a coach, my self-confidence might be at a lower level because I don't know these people. I don't already have the sense that they love me, right, I don't already have the sense that they're going to buy into and that they're going to resonate with what it is that I'm about to share with them. So my self-confidence might be wavering or fluctuating in that circumstance. However, on the inside, I know that I am worthy and I know that what I have to share with them is golden and can change their trajectory of their lives. So this is where, when I'm wavering in my self-confidence, I can tap into my self-worth Okay.
Speaker 1:
So remember that the difference between the two is that your self-worth comes from the inside. It's that inner knowing that you were meant to be here. You were created on purpose and you were created with a purpose Okay. Your self-confidence is your attitude about your skills. It's your attitude about how you compare with the skill set of others. It's your attitude about your qualities and your traits. And remember that your self-confidence is linked to external things, okay. So why is it important to know this? Okay, obviously, for reasons that I've already stated. It's important to know this because sometimes we get these two things self-confidence and self-worth sometimes we get them confused, okay, and we think that if I have more confidence, then I'll have more self-worth, Okay, and so what I want you to remember is that you were already created. You were already put on this earth with your self-worth Okay. So, knowing this, I want you to understand that your self-worth is the Mac daddy of your identity. Okay, because once you're able to identify that you're already worthy, then you are able to show up at a higher level of self-confidence. Okay, now, remember, I told you that I wanted to give you the formula for true fulfillment and true joy. Okay, and so the next thing that I want to add into this equation self-worth plus self-confidence plus growth. Okay, so that is one of the secret ingredients that I'm gonna share with you inside the podcast Self-worth plus self-confidence plus growth.
Speaker 1:
Now, if you feel like you're stuck, if you feel like you're stagnant in life, I would be willing to bet you it is because you are not growing. Maybe it's because you think I've arrived I should have arrived. I'm at an age where maybe I'm hitting retirement, maybe I'm an empty nest, maybe I am at the top of my game in this specific area, and you don't see how powerful continuing to grow is, fostering your self-confidence. Your self-confidence is helping you grow your self-worth, okay. So continuing to grow is going to help contribute to your self-confidence and it is going to help contribute to your self-worth. So it's purposefully choosing continuous improvement, continuous self-awareness and continue fulfillment. All right.
Speaker 1:
So I'm going to give you some practical steps that you can incorporate to start working on your self-growth, and maybe you're already doing some of these things, or maybe you're not quite sure how to continue your self-growth, okay. So the first one I want to give you is to set personal goals. Okay, set personal goals. A lot of times, if we feel like we've arrived in life, we stop setting goals. Okay, set personal goals. A lot of times, if we feel like we've arrived in life, we stop setting goals, and that is one of the biggest areas where we can continue on with our self-growth. Okay. So, setting personal goals you can have personal goals around maybe an exercise routine, maybe around eating healthier habit routine, the way you want to show up with your nutrition.
Speaker 1:
Personal goals can be I want to read this many new books in X amount of time. Okay, because reading new things and learning new things helps foster your self-growth. So, spend some time in reflection on where you might be able to set some personal goals. Number two I kind of hit on when I said, hey, read some new books, but continuous learning, and it doesn't mean that you have to sit down and read a book in order to learn something new. Maybe take a new course, maybe look into a new topic that you had been thinking about for a while, a while, but you weren't quite sure how to get started. So, finding an area in your life that you're interested in and that you are willing to spend some time learning new things about it, okay.
Speaker 1:
The third one is reflecting regularly. Okay, and I had a little mini course in this this morning, because when I went to PT this morning, my physical therapist pulled out a new apparatus for us to try a new exercise that we were going to do, and I was blown away by the progress that I made, and so I couldn't wait to share it with all of you through my social media. And when I shared it out, I actually went through the pictures that I had taken over the last several months of my journey to healing on my foot surgery, and I was kind of blown away by reflecting back on those first days coming home from after having the surgery and where I was being completely laid out in my bedroom on my bed, not being able to get around, having to rely on my husband to help me with all kinds of things, to where I am today, to where I'm in a pair of tennis shoes. I'm trying this new thing of tennis shoes. I'm trying this new thing, we're doing some new balancing acts, and so when you reflect regularly, it helps you in so many ways. It helps you to look at the victories that you need to celebrate. It helps you to identify hey, have I been stagnant in this area for a while, so spending time in reflection is a good way to continue on your journey of self-growth, okay. So, number one set personal goals. Number two continuous learning and look for new avenues to learn. Number three reflect regularly, okay.
Speaker 1:
Number four seek feedback. Okay, and what I mean by this is find a way to hold yourself accountable. Maybe that looks like hiring a coach and sharing with your coach your personal goals, things you're wanting to learn. How you are going to give yourself that regular reflection so that you don't find that you're staying stagnant, that you don't find that you're staying stagnant. Maybe it's seeking feedback from a friend you know, going to lunch with a girlfriend and saying, hey, remember when I was talking to you about this situation. I want to come back to that and what do you think? Are you able to see some growth in myself in this area? Asking a family member, maybe it is an area that you've been working on with your spouse and you want to say, hey, where are we at with this? Do you feel like we are continuing to grow in this area or do you feel like we need some additional intervention in this area? Okay, so, continuing to seek that feedback, all right. So, number four seek feedback.
Speaker 1:
Number five practice self-compassion, self-compassion. What this can look like is, when you do fall short, stop talking to yourself so negatively, paying attention to that negative self-talk, paying attention to the negativity that is actually going on in your brain, having some understanding as to why you might be thinking in that way, and truly just giving yourself the opportunity for more self-love. Okay, so, having self-compassion. Now, the biggest thing that I share with my clients is to shoot for the 80-20 rule when we are looking to accomplish and create new habits, and that's part of having self-compassion, because there is no way that anyone is going to be 100% on all of the time. You've heard me say it before there has been only one perfect person in this world, and it is not you. It is not I. So continue to have compassion for yourself and look for ways that you can be more understanding with you. And number six stay open, committed. Stay committed to yourself, because the only way that you are going to keep yourself from feeling stuck and from feeling stagnant in your life is continuing to grow, all right.
Speaker 1:
So today I shared with you three pieces of the ingredients, three pieces to the puzzle Self-worth you already have it, girlfriend. Self-confidence what's your attitude about your self-worth? What's your attitude about your skills, about your qualities? And then the next one was self growth. Okay, now I'm going to, next week, share with you the fourth key ingredient. Okay, but what I am statement to remind you what you already have inside you, which is true self-worth. Your self-confidence is going to start to come a little bit easier and your self-confidence and your self-growth is going to feed into your self-worth. And then, once we add in this fourth ingredient, I promise you you are going to feel way more fulfilled in the life that you are trying to create for yourself right now. You are going to feel way more authentic, pure joy in your life. So I encourage you to stay tuned, listen to this episode, listen to next episode, bring all of this information together and, if you need help in any of these areas, these are things that I am working on myself. So personal growth for me right now.
Speaker 1:
Over the last couple of years, and especially this year, I have been leaning more into my spiritual growth. I have been attending more spiritual conferences. I have been purposefully looking for more ways that I can grow in myself spiritually. If you have listened to my podcast for any amount of time, you'll recall that back in June, I took a spiritual retreat where, for several days, I was immersed with like-minded women who are also interested in creating more spiritual growth for themselves, coming more into their identity of being a Christian woman. This last weekend, our church hosted a conference where, again, I was able to immerse myself with like-minded people, surround myself with people who were more than willing to contribute to my spiritual growth, and so, over the last couple of years, what I have noticed in myself is my hunger for my identity in my Christian walk, and so that is just one of the ways that I am fostering my self-growth.
Speaker 1:
The other thing that I mentioned is that right now, I'm in a season of recovery. I'm in a season of foot surgery recovery, so personal growth looks like reflecting back on my journey. So, rather than telling people, yeah, it's been a long, hard road, I have the opportunity to reflect back and tell them this is where I'm at. I am standing in a pair of tennis shoes, I'm able to balance on one foot, I'm able to balance on my surgery foot and I am beginning to start and finish my days pain-free. And the super, super cool thing about it is that when I was talking to my physical therapist today, his outlook for me is that in the next couple of weeks he's going to help me practice running again, he's going to help start to introduce that motion of running again, and I am so, so, super excited for that.
Speaker 1:
Next step in the journey In another area where I'm experiencing huge growth is in my business. It is how I am putting all of these things in my life and integrate it into my business. How am I able to show up to you as a Christian woman with Christian values and help you do the same in your own life? So I want to ask you, if this episode resonated with you, please do me the favor of sharing this out with another woman. Share this out with someone that you know who might be struggling with their self-worth, who might be struggling with having the confidence to step into the life that they truly want for themselves, or a woman who comes to you and shares with you. Man, I just feel stuck in the season that I am in right now. Please share this out with them. If you share my mission of wanting to pour into more women, wanting to be that lighthouse woman for other women, please share this episode. And I also want to encourage you and your friends to connect with. Connect with me either through Facebook or through Instagram. I have a private women's group on Facebook. It bears the same name as the women's meeting that I do. It's called Empowering Women Coffee and Connections. Find us on Facebook and join the group. Find us on Facebook and join the group.
Speaker 1:
Also, it is not too late to jump into the Summer of you series. In August, we are going to be talking about your purpose. What are you here for? So remember that in June, we talked about identity. Where does it come from and what more can we do to create the identity that we're willing to share with the world? In July, we talked about what I'm sharing with you today the four key ingredients to finding joy and fulfillment in your life. The biggest one is recognizing your self-worth. And then again, in August, what is it that you are here for? So I'm going to put the link inside the show notes and, again, come hang out with us. You've got nothing to lose and a ton to gain.
Speaker 1:
So, you guys, I hope that you enjoyed this episode. Remember, share it out with a friend who might need it. Go back and leave me a five-star review and don't forget to register for August's session of the Summer Review Series. Have an amazing day and remember come back next week for the fourth ingredient. Have a great week. Who is your life coach? I would love the opportunity to work with you as you are rediscovering the woman you were meant to be. Visit christyballardfelainicom for more information on how we can work together to ignite that passionate, enthusiastic woman who may have been tucked away for some time. Let's start in the middle together. Thank you.
