Hi Wellness Warriors. Welcome back to another episode of the Wellness Inspired Podcast, a place where you can find inspiration, motivation and empowerment in the pursuit of a wellness lifestyle. I'm your host, sherri Davidson. I'm a wellness coach, acupuncturist, trail runner and former interior designer in Houston, texas, and I am deeply passionate about health and wellbeing. And, as always, I'm here with my co-host, finn. And if you're new to the podcast, finn is my terrier mix, rescue dog, trail runner and loyal companion. He is also a therapy dog and greeter at Element 5, acupuncture and Wellness, and today we have an insightful and essential episode lined up for you.

Speaker 1: 0:51

We'll explore how menopause impacts our mental health and emotional well-being. Joining us is Istra Bauza, a mental health counselor in training, a PT2 lifestyle coach, an Ironman coach, a USMS swim coach, ironman, triathlete, cyclist and mother. Istra brings a wealth of knowledge and compassion to this conversation, helping us to understand the physiological changes that accompany menopause and offering practical advice for navigating this journey. So, whether you're experiencing menopause, supporting a loved one or simply curious about this topic, this episode is filled with valuable information and empowering insights. So sit back, relax and get ready to transform your understanding of menopause and mental health. But before we get started. I have some great news to share with you.

Speaker 1: 1:47

For those avid listeners who've tuned into the podcast over the past year, you've likely caught wind of the Wellness River Cruise. Well, friends, the moment has arrived. Mark your calendar for April, the 20th 2025, as we set sail on an unforgettable seven-night cruise along the Danube River. We'll traverse the picturesque landscape of Austria, germany, hungary and Slovakia. Prepare for many active sightseeing adventures, including invigorating hikes, scenic bike rides and even a few brisk runs, maybe Alongside these activities, indulge in the serenity of yoga sessions, engage in enlightening wellness discussions and savor the flavors of locally sourced cuisine. Excitement is already brewing, as several enthusiasts have secured their spots. So, for those intrigued, I will put the links in the show notes and, if you're certain, this wellness river cruise is calling it your name.

Speaker 1: 2:41

Waste no time in securing your place aboard. River cruises tend to fill up rapidly, which is why we shifted the dates to next year instead of this year. So don't think about it too long. Seize this opportunity while you can.

Speaker 1: 2:56

And if you're interested in episode 63, 64, a journey of wellness and wonder on the Danube with Ammo Waterways, I had the pleasure of having Laurie, a representative from Ammo Waterways, and Tammy, a seasoned travel concierge on the podcast to discuss the full river cruise experience. So feel free to check out those episodes for more information and remember this all has to happen quickly. I know the cruise is a little less than a year from now, but there are only 129 cabins on the boat and they sell out quickly. I know the cruise is a little less than a year from now, but there are only 129 cabins on the boat and they sell out quickly. So if you're interested, I recommend putting down your deposit quickly. It's not a lot to hold your spot, okay, so let's dive into today's episode of the Wellness Inspired Podcast. Welcome, istra. Welcome back to the podcast. This is your third time to sit here with me, so thank you for being here. Thank you, thank you for having me again.

Speaker 2: 4:00

It's an honor to be on your show, I love it when you come.

Speaker 1: 4:04

I I always think we have such great conversation and I think that this will be just another one in the books for us, so enjoy talking to you. This episode is almost, well, the last episode you were here.

Speaker 2: 4:19

we did menopause and athletes right, so we're going to talk more general yeah, more general about um average average women uh going through perimenopause and menopause and some of the you know mental health and wellness aspects yeah, um, which is not talked about a lot, yeah it's.

Speaker 1: 4:39

I think people are starting to talk about it more, but yeah oh my god, yes, no, of course, and it's all.

Speaker 2: 4:43

it's becoming a huge industry as well, of course.

Speaker 1: 4:46

Of course, they can make money off of it. Yeah Well, I want to start this episode with a brief understanding of what menopause is from a Western perspective and an Eastern perspective, because, you know, I'm a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner. I do herbs and acupuncture.

Speaker 1: 5:02

I'm a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner. I do herbs and acupuncture. I'm also a wellness coach. First, I want to say that menopause is not a disease. Menopause is a natural process, so I think that's really important to remember.

Speaker 1: 5:17

From a Western perspective, menopause is a natural biological process.

Speaker 1: 5:22

It marks the end of a woman's reproductive years and it typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55, though it can happen earlier or later, and I definitely have seen it earlier People in their 30s or late 30s, early 40s. I've seen that and I think part of that might be the awareness that's happening around it that we're paying attention a little bit more to the signs and symptoms. Menopause is diagnosed after 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period, and it is caused by a decline in the production of hormones, particularly estrogen and progesterone, by the ovaries. This hormonal shift leads to various physical, emotional, physical, emotional changes like hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings and changes in sexual function. Menopause is a significant life transition and can have a profound impact on women's mental and physical health. So now I want to talk a little bit about the Eastern perspective, because it's super interesting. So from an Eastern perspective, menopause is also recognized as a natural women's phase of life, but it's often viewed through a more holistic lens, which we were talking about earlier before we started recording.

Speaker 1: 6:43

But menopause is seen again as a biological event and a time of transformation and renewal in Eastern medicine and this is very different from Western thought it is a period when women transition from their reproductive years to a stage of wisdom and greater spiritual awareness, and I think that's so beautiful, yeah, it's so different, yeah. So again, in Eastern we emphasize a more integrated approach. We consider the physical, emotional and spiritual dimensions of menopause, and what I'd like to do in this episode is open up the conversation also to shift women's attitude towards menopause, including my own, because I've had my own struggles. You know I'm approaching and changes are happening, and so I'm working on myself as well. I think in the West we value youth, so we have some cultural you know obstacles and challenges there, but it can be a powerful time in a woman's life and also changing your perspective on menopause. Studies have shown that you just have a better quality of life. So, Isra, you are a mental health counselor, you're almost a mental, you're almost there.

Speaker 2: 7:56

Yeah, like a baby, I'm a baby counselor, you're a baby.

Speaker 1: 7:59

But you're also an. Ironman coach and, again, you're always such a great fit for this podcast, and so please tell people who you are, what you do, and we'll dive into the conversation.

Speaker 2: 8:12

Thank you. Thank you so much, that was so interesting. Yes, my name is Istra Bauza. I am a counselor in training, about to graduate, pass my NCE, the licensure exam, just a couple of courses away from graduation. But I have a year and a half of clinical experience with young adult populations and adults, men and women, and I have coached triathlon for over nine years. Um, mostly women and more more recently in the last few years I've been women, 40 and up. So a lot of the my anecdotes come from these athletes that I've coached and also some of the um clients, some of my clients in the clinical practice.

Speaker 1: 9:01

You know, just real quick, I had one person asked me recently um and I'll let you describe it uh, because she asked me how menopause affects, uh, women athletes.

Speaker 2: 9:12

Yes, oh, my goodness, in so many ways. In so many ways, I mean start looking at. You can start by just looking at race by age. You see a drastic drop between the 45 to 49. Once you hit 50 to 54 or 50 to 59, depending on if it's running or triathlon you see any huge drop in entries, entries.

Speaker 1: 9:37

Yeah, entries to races, because people just don't have the desire.

Speaker 2: 9:39

People simply lose motivation. Of course there's other things, because we're talking about menopause, but we're also talking about lifestyle changes. You're launching kids. You know you're. You have kids leaving the home you have there's some so many talking about the holistic part of of life, the lifestyle of a woman going through menopause and perimenopause. It's just a lot of things are also happening externally. The environment plays another role huge role.

Speaker 2: 10:07

When it comes to continuing on with your lifestyle changes and how to address it. It's hard. It's just hard because there's so many components. As for athletes, some of the specific things I see is that a loss of desire for hard competition, for hard efforts, starting to lose interest or, you know, also lose energy or stamina. You know when you're doing intervals when you're training.

Speaker 2: 10:39

When you go to races all day, or you know, you start losing a little bit of desire of putting. Put your body through so much hardship, um, and then, of course, everything else that comes um along with that, which is you're sleeping, less sleep yeah a lot of people our age are sleeping less yeah so your body's not recovering the same yeah and then those are factors. They're all combined with external thoughts, external mood, anxiety, you know.

Speaker 1: 11:09

Yeah, I think last time we talked about and I had never thought about this, but it makes total sense from a TCM perspective was the fear. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 11:18

You said you mentioned there's it's been. Research is something like menopausal onset anxiety, which even people have not experienced or have not dealt with.

Speaker 2: 11:28

Chronic anxiety are going through anxiety, so the fear creeps in when you're racing as well yeah yeah, we've talked about you know, uh, I used to throw myself and probably mentioned this before right in the previous podcast, but we I used to throw myself down mountain biking, uh, uh, went to Arkansas, did like some serious mountain biking out there and now I can't throw myself from like a little tiny little Herman park little you know, little hill there it's like, oh my gosh. So the fear, the anxiety has definitely elevated.

Speaker 2: 12:01

It's elevated Um. It's something that I deal with with my young adults, but also with some of the female athletes that I coach and myself, of course.

Speaker 1: 12:11

Well, we're all women, yeah. We're all there, right, we're going to go through it. We have no choice. And your level of what you experience. People women experience a variety and different levels of all the signs and symptoms. But I have one woman who is probably in her late 70s that I treat. She's post-menopausal and no signs and symptoms ever.

Speaker 2: 12:39

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 1: 12:40

No night sweats, no mood swings, no hot flashes. She has no idea what that's like.

Speaker 2: 12:47

Wow, but that is uncommon, uncommon yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:51

Very uncommon.

Speaker 2: 12:52

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:52

Yeah, so there's a variety of signs and symptoms you can experience, for sure.

Speaker 2: 12:57

Yeah, you bring a good point there. Because of all the research that I've done more specifically with mental health, anxiety and depression in menopause, during menopause, I see a lot of specific things. It just basically almost sounds like menopause symptoms need to be treated in a very specific, very unique way to each individual. I would be almost positive to say that it's almost like personality your symptoms, what you go through during menopause and perimenopause is just so unique to you that you have to pay attention to what's being sold or what's being marketed to you. I'm at that process right now. I'm trying several things, several things for sleep. Um, I am considered. I'm doing the reading research. You know, take agency of your health. At this point, this is a really good time for you, for women, to take agency of their wealth, well-being and their health. Do your own research, because we're actually breaking ground here.

Speaker 2: 14:04

Being in their health do your own research, because we're actually breaking ground here.

Speaker 1: 14:06

Yeah, these things are just being researched and being talked about now so I remember when I saw the first commercial for hot flashes, I was like whoa, whoa yeah but you know, talking to my mom, I mean she just lived with it. You know our parents.

Speaker 2: 14:20

my mom lived with it and she was like oh no, I just just working and it was just, it was just there and I kept going, yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:27

And then now we're saying wait, you don't have to live that way.

Speaker 2: 14:29

Right, exactly Right, and we don't want to just, you know, suffer through it. We want to thrive and we're doing so many other things. Yeah, we're athletes, we want to continue to be active. We're going to continue to in.

Speaker 1: 14:47

I'm just finishing a degree in my 50s. Yeah, it's different, you know it's a little different yeah, well, I think, uh, the culture is changing and, um, I know I've seen some posts and memes which I could remember exactly what they said, but they were, all you know, describing this new, you know, elderly person. You know, describing this new, you know, elderly person, you know, you know there's a new 50, there's a new 60,.

Speaker 2: 15:11

There's a new 70.

Speaker 1: 15:14

And someone posted a meme the other day and it was talking about how people are more productive in their later years actually, and we want to stay vital and and and we want to be on purpose still and we want to do things and not um, you know, we want that wisdom and renewal at each stage of our life.

Speaker 2: 15:34

Absolutely, yeah, yes, it is very important and and I think it's an opportunity to just stop, pause. It's an opportunity for pause and if you're grinding through life, if you're on a rat wheel going through life, you know, going to work, repeating the same things, your body's going to tell you, your body's going to tell you stop, do the deep work, right, yeah, and it's not only biological. Some people don't even I mean people have never been to therapy. For example, at this point is a time where, like, oh, maybe my, for example, my own mom, I've never been to therapy and at this stage it was critical for her to just do a little bit of inside work. Did she go? Yeah, yeah. So I mean, it was just. It's a matter of just pausing and doing an analysis of your life and where you want to go. It's like adolescence. Basically it's a huge hormones. Think about it. Adolescence. How hard it was.

Speaker 1: 16:35

So perimenopause is kind of almost like that, but more serious. Yeah, you know we're talking a little bit different. Well, I want, I want to um for myself and for the listeners. For myself and for the listeners what is the difference between a counselor, a therapist, and then somebody like me who's a wellness coach, because this is a big topic in coaching. So what is the difference? I mean, obviously, schooling is a big piece of it, but I know where my lane is, where I can operate, so kind of talk a little bit about that as a counselor.

Speaker 2: 17:08

Okay. So that's a really good question and I actually you know my friends asked me that because you know people here psychologists, psychiatrists. We have psychiatrists which are MDs, they're doctors, they prescribe medication and they work with clients. Sometimes they work, do psychotherapy with them, sometimes they don't, but it's generally a doctor, medical doctor. Then we have psychologists which have a PhD and they work with everything uh, mental health related, psychoanalysis, uh, psychotherapy. They, um, they work on psychological assessments, they do research and for that you need a PhD.

Speaker 2: 17:50

Then you have counselors, social workers and family therapists, so LPC, msw and LFMT, but, yes, licensed family and marriage therapists. So the MSWs, the LPCs and the family therapists, all are master's degree level clinicians, all licensed by the state, and we work on specifically with counseling. We work with everything. The coaches work, but as well. But we also go into trauma. We have a trauma informed perspective where we use some of the theories that have been also drawn into coaching. For example, you know, smart goals, motivational interviewing, which is basically asking open, open-ended questions to clients. But we take those tools and the theories, like cognitive behavioral therapy, whatever it is, that is your theory, and we go deep and talk about core beliefs, attachment theory, attachment issues. So we talk about yeah, we sprinkle things with trauma inform, because I think most people that I've seen have some sort of trauma.

Speaker 1: 19:06

Yeah yeah, that's what coaches do not do, yeah.

Speaker 2: 19:10

Yeah, and that was a big one when I decided to go into this, uh, where I'm like, do I really want to go and work with people's trauma? It's like, yeah, I'll give it a try. But yeah, I remember, uh, looking into that. But we do have overlap of coaches and counselors have an overlap of techniques yeah for example, we use positive, I could use positive psychology yeah and I love it. I I sprinkle it everywhere I can in my in the interventions.

Speaker 2: 19:37

Uh, smart goals, you know, uh, the stages of change, yeah, contemplation, pre-contemplate, all those things that coaches that we've used in training and you and you use in your business, um, they're all like important also to be used because in the end your goal. You're setting goals yeah you're trying to achieve, um, you know, help them, help them through the process. So it's similar. There's other things. If I come up with another one, yeah, I'll probably tell you but there's a similar, there's all the things.

Speaker 2: 20:03

If I come up with another one yeah I'll probably tell you. But there's a lot, there's more things, but that's kind of like so what?

Speaker 1: 20:09

so why would someone choose a counselor rather than a like a, like a like a psychologist? I know like a psychiatrist would be if you want to prescribe meds, but but uh uh, psychologists and a counselor, what's the difference?

Speaker 2: 20:26

So this is my, my perspective and I guess it's kind of goes with. What I've read is that you can go for, you can go to a psychologist or a counselor and for mental health therapy and work with trauma and work with anything related to you know past, present or current trauma, or just simply transitions like lifestyle. You know transitions like you know getting retirement, moving, divorce, menopause menopause.

Speaker 1: 20:57

Menopause is a big one, right.

Speaker 2: 20:59

So, yeah, so you can really go to any of them. But psychologists, like, for example, psychologists, work's more like a holistic approach where we still learn. You know, family therapy, we still learn group therapy, we, we conduct groups you know we can work with groups. Uh, we learn psychoeducational uh, therapy, uh, but we, um, we don't. I mean, we could, but we don't do psychological assessments, for example. You know, determine whether someone has autism, determine whether someone has ADHD, we can diagnose, but for those things I would go to a psychologist.

Speaker 1: 21:55

For diagnosis.

Speaker 2: 21:56

For diagnosis. Diagnosis can be still, I think a social worker can diagnose, a counselor can diagnose. But for like more like things that require medical model and extensive psychological assessment, I would definitely go to a psychologist.

Speaker 1: 22:13

Yeah, okay, no, I think that's clear. So you are like a coach, but you just have another layer. On top of that is the trauma. That you're right right.

Speaker 2: 22:24

So the crazy, the interesting thing is like I was a coach first and you know I've been a multi, multi-sport coach first, and then I got a certification in a pt2 lifestyle coaching, which is pre-diabetes, pre-diabetes coaching, which takes clients through the process of adhering to healthy lifestyles. Right, I've been doing that for a little while but now I realize how much that serves me in counseling because I already had the um, the empathy and the sort of like coaching. You know. You know when in coaching you have like specific way you ask questions, you already had that expertise.

Speaker 1: 23:05

You listen, you listen, you know when in coaching you have like specific way you ask questions.

Speaker 2: 23:07

you already have that expertise, you listen.

Speaker 1: 23:08

You listen Sometimes, the Western medical model not known for that. Unfortunately Not all, but they're known for not listening Right.

Speaker 2: 23:17

And then when you go as I'm an apostle woman when you go to a doctor, for example, that's a great point. You don't get that back and forth that you get with a therapist yeah, I mean counselor, coach, I believe, like there are. All these professions are needed.

Speaker 1: 23:32

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 23:33

Because you might be in a coach and your coach might determine that you're not improving. And then some underlying things that you might want to work with a counselor or a psychologist or along the way, maybe with medication like for example anxiety or menopause if it's affecting your occupation, affecting your lifestyle, your marriage. Yes, maybe medication, it's like yeah 100%.

Speaker 1: 23:58

Yeah, there's a, there's a time and a place for for all of them. I tend to lean more towards coaching and counseling. I'm hearing because I feel like there is more of a progression forward. Yes exactly, Instead of spending so much time in the past and ruminating about everything, which I think sometimes is great. I'm not against it, but my personal thing is like let's get in the future, Like where do you want to go? Like let's talk about that.

Speaker 2: 24:26

I think that's why you and I get along. I'm a very future oriented counselor and I was going to say, yes, if the client wants to go to the past, we go to the past.

Speaker 1: 24:35

Right, but I like the part of what I do that moves them forward, right we can talk about the path, but we have to move one step forward, even if we do five steps back right. So yeah, I think that's why we I like you like progress, like mine and the like-minded yeah like-minded, goal-oriented, yeah, yeah, yeah, and there's just this positive spin on it too um, or you're in this more creative mode rather than this, whatever that other place is it's stuckness.

Speaker 2: 25:07

It's like it's a stuckness we call it liberty, stagnation.

Speaker 1: 25:10

Yeah exactly so. So there just seems to be more opportunity in that place and that space and creativity.

Speaker 2: 25:17

And.

Speaker 1: 25:18

I'm just drawn to that. And thriving that's where you thrive right?

Speaker 2: 25:20

Yes, exactly, is that? Is that specific area where you're learning in human development? Is where you're learning, but you're also scared, and is the good type of anxiety where you're people say no, I don't want to try because I'll be scared. But that's exactly specifically where you learn the most, when where you achieve the most and when you find the most competence as well yeah um going over that. You, you know, fear threshold.

Speaker 1: 25:46

Yeah, so yeah, like my 100 miler.

Speaker 2: 25:49

Yeah, like.

Speaker 1: 25:51

Well, one of the reasons I mean because I feel like you know a challenge is if you're not challenging yourself, you're not growing.

Speaker 2: 25:59

Right.

Speaker 1: 26:00

So for me, that's what it's like. I just want to challenge, I just want to try it it's like that show Sick Discomfort I've never seen that there's a show that we sometimes watch.

Speaker 2: 26:14

It's like young adults mostly, and they go do outrageous adventures. They, for example, do things like we're going to spend 24 hours in a Japan airport, and they try to do that without getting caught and eating with no budget things like that, but also throwing themselves in a volcano and things like that.

Speaker 1: 26:31

Oh God that just sounds like that just doesn't sound smart at all.

Speaker 2: 26:35

But it's true, it's something about being able to be in discomfort sometimes. Yeah, I think it's important. It's important yeah.

Speaker 1: 26:43

It builds resilience and I always feel stronger.

Speaker 2: 26:46

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 26:46

Yeah, so yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 26:50

Yeah, it's something I apply to my own life as well. I realized that during my own menopause. I put a hold on that, trying to reassess my priorities, you know, and it goes back to some of the stuff I work with some of the clients which is related to looking at lifestyle. What's going on, Are you? Let's say, we were doing Ironmans for many years, like some of the clients that I've seen, and they found themselves in a plateau.

Speaker 2: 27:20

We're like, oh, I did an Ironman but I just coasted through it and honestly, I was miserable the whole time. That's a moment to pause. It's a moment to say, okay, let's put Ironman or 5Ks or whatever it is, on hold. Let's just do a reassessment of what's going on.

Speaker 2: 27:37

Maybe, you're having. Your work is not longer satisfying, and now you're. Or maybe the athletic training is too much and you need to adjust it, or maybe you need to take a break from that and look into doing weights only it's a good time to do interventions of all kinds mental, physical it's interesting.

Speaker 1: 27:57

You say that you know and I don't know when we did the last episode. Was it a year or so ago? Yeah, about a year or so ago, maybe, yeah about a year, about a year ago. I, and I might have told you that in my running I went through something very similar like I thought I was done and I think I might have told you that.

Speaker 2: 28:16

I was just yeah.

Speaker 1: 28:18

I just wasn't the motivation. Um, I thought maybe it was because my mom had gone, had a health scare. I was super hyper focused on and I kind of lost my, I kind of reached, I reshuffled priorities um, but then when we found out, everything was fine, I, just I. The motivation just never came back.

Speaker 2: 28:36

Those are the pauses, those are the.

Speaker 2: 28:39

Those are the things that you have to, at that point, be more self-compassionate and tell them this is maybe a seasonal like think. I probably mentioned this because I always hear myself saying this to clients. Like you know, sometimes this transition is like seasons, so there's things that might, but that will change, and of course, we're talking about environment, major environmental things like elderly parents, you know, and things like that. We're not dealing with minor stuff, we're dealing with serious stuff. Yeah, so a moment, for I think part of that what I wanted to talk about as well today was about self-compassion during this process, because we want to continue our lives to be the same or work the same way it's been working. But no, there's real, real moments of just stop, listen to yourself, just be gentle with your inability to cope.

Speaker 2: 29:29

Be, gentle with the stress you're feeling and not trying to push yourself through that, just sitting with it. And you mentioned parents and that's a big deal. I mean part of me, my perimenopause was during my parents uh, my dad getting sick, being he's on during the pandemic, um, and that was one of the most stressful times, not because they were here, because I was now and I go back and think I was going through like right and smack middle perimenopause, which was kind of you can identify it now, looking back on it, yeah, yes, and it's like looking back and say, okay, that's all you know, telling what I tell my clients.

Speaker 2: 30:08

you can tell yourself I failed I. You know, I am getting older, I have lost my capacity to cope. Or you can tell yourself what you can tell yourself I did what I could with what I had, with the tools I had at that moment. Yeah, yeah so that I try to apply it in this transition. You know personally, in our clients and we talk about how do you do that.

Speaker 1: 30:29

You know there's so many ways yeah yeah, yeah, I was kind of looking back on it. I was going through a little bit of a of a, I don't know. I was having a moment, I guess, because I was also kind of lost. You know, I was like well, what am I gonna do if I'm not running? You know, um, I was like well, what am I going to do if I'm not running? You know, I mean, obviously I can still run and I still have my friends that I've run with. But if I'm not racing and if I'm not doing this and if I'm not doing that, like what, those are a lot of my friends my, it's my identity, like that's social hour for me.

Speaker 2: 31:06

I know, yeah, you know um um we solve all the world's problems. You know running I know, yeah.

Speaker 1: 31:10

So I was going through this like, well, what am I gonna do? So I got a gym membership and, yeah, I started doing that, but it wasn't as fulfilling as racing, and so you're just like, oh my gosh, like so what am? I. And then all of a sudden, one day I just it just clicked. But I think I did, I just sat.

Speaker 2: 31:28

It was a year a year, a whole year, a whole year. It could take a long time.

Speaker 1: 31:32

Yeah, I just sat with it for a year and I I mean I was going through the process and it. You know, I was like I'm going to do this.

Speaker 2: 31:48

Like.

Speaker 1: 31:48

I let's do it.

Speaker 2: 31:53

And I've been. I'm back on, I'm back on track and I'll bet a lot of things are you're approaching. Different this time, like the way your, your expectations.

Speaker 1: 31:59

My expectation. My expectations are about I. They're probably about the same. You know, I've never been like a elite athlete you know, so my goal is always just to finish. Okay, but I did have three goals for this race. Okay, 24, then it was 26 to 27, because I have 30 hours, and then it was 30. Okay, so my expectation now is I've 30 hours, and then it was 30.

Speaker 2: 32:25

Okay.

Speaker 1: 32:25

So my expectation now is I've taken the other two off the table. I still would like to finish 27, 28, but Okay.

Speaker 2: 32:32

You have a multi-tier I do. That's part of what we work with people, like with clients. Okay, let's look at the hierarchy of goals, because that's part of being good to yourself.

Speaker 1: 32:49

Yeah, yeah Right, that way I can let go of the 20. I mean, if I did 24, I would be telling everybody like nobody people would shut up. Sherry, I don't want to hear it anymore. Nope, nope, yeah, but I've kind of taken that one off the table, but it's okay.

Speaker 2: 33:08

It's good to have range range in goals right, especially now. I feel like it's it gives you, it allows you to enjoy the process. Training, for example, like okay, well, I missed a couple. Like things come up, you know, parents, elderly parents and anxiety or different things work you know podcasts, you know marketing. I'm, you know, finishing up this couple of classes and I keep thinking. I used to postpone all that brought me joy until I was done with things, and I no longer do that. That's a big one that I try to tell people.

Speaker 1: 33:48

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 33:48

Don't postpone, even if you're going to be late with something.

Speaker 1: 33:51

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 33:52

If you are doing something with a friend every Friday, if you are doing podcasts here with a friend.

Speaker 1: 33:57

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 33:57

If you're, you know, don't postpone those things for the stuff that keeps you going. You know, like you know, work related, Because that every day accumulates yeah and you reach burnout quicker especially our age. Now I don't know if you notice you have a lot less tolerance for oh, yeah, for stuff. Yeah, you know, and it becomes quicker. You could you reach burnout quicker?

Speaker 1: 34:24

yeah, so interesting.

Speaker 2: 34:26

I I that something that I've done in the last couple of years now is that I, I'm, I'm in academia, I'm doing academics right and I, I'm really. I get a horrible anxiety, academic, academic anxiety. So now, even if I have 300 deadlines, I still go do my workout. I still go spend time.

Speaker 2: 34:44

Now I have graduation and kids stuff. I still spend time with them. I still I never postpone any of that. I don't move trips around my academics anymore. Now I'm doing it because it's just. If I don't do that, what if I look back and I say oh, five years, two years of grinding, and why look back? There's no memories of those years. And you missed out on moments and you missed out on moments out of it yeah, it's so.

Speaker 1: 35:11

When did you start doing that and how does it feel?

Speaker 2: 35:13

uh, I have to say that I started doing that halfway through my degree and I think a little bit after the pandemic. Yeah, the pandemic brought it on, of course, global, you know major depression, anxiety in people and reevaluation of priorities.

Speaker 2: 35:30

What's essential, you know my parents were here and I realized, okay, I want to do this, but I don't want to look back and say I hated that process, and I know I'm not. I don't want to put all my happiness in this basket at the end. So I decided no, I'm gonna live here now. Even if I'm gonna be stressing out, I'm also gonna be having good time and having time. So that changed. I wasn't like that in my youth.

Speaker 1: 35:56

Well, okay so now that you say that, I will say that my running has changed. I have different expectations of myself running Okay, perfect, because we stop in pet dogs, yeah, and we stop and talk to people, like on our long runs like we don't we, we get our, we get our time in and we get our long run in.

Speaker 1: 36:19

But we also are okay if we're not at a certain pace. You know, I mean obviously I need you know to be at a an okay pace, but we're not, we're okay stopping yeah, and I think that has changed, because before it's like, oh, I gotta keep running, I gotta right, right, I'll stop.

Speaker 2: 36:36

I gotta get this and it's gotta be at the interval here and yeah now it's like I'm doing it. My body allows me to do it.

Speaker 1: 36:42

I just want to have, I want to enjoy it, yeah, so I think you know, after you gave your example, yeah, I was like okay, well, it's enjoying the process.

Speaker 2: 36:50

Yeah, yeah, right, so now I don't sign up. That's a good point you make, and isn't it like a beautiful way to do it, right, mm-hmm, that the last I've been cycling, mostly I haven't done. I did a duathlon and I did well but I did not enjoy that as much as I enjoy cycling. You know you're doing off. Yeah, you're doing gravel, the gravel stuff, and I did a big race last summer and I did one recently. What? Where our podium?

Speaker 2: 37:16

I was like what I showed up you know at our age you show up and you do fairly okay, and then your podium that's awesome um yeah, podium, I was like wow I was in shock thank you, um, but what I did different, what I do differently, is like I enjoy being in the country.

Speaker 1: 37:31

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 37:31

And I look at cows and our club. They do take tons of photos. I'm trying to get better at taking videos while I'm racing. I'm racing, but I am also aware of how beautiful the Blue Bonnet is. The best time to do that here is during the spring.

Speaker 1: 37:47

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 37:48

So you know Hill Country west of Houston all the way to Austin and San Antonio, everywhere I've been Like there's so many miles of beautiful roads gravel roads in Texas, more than paved.

Speaker 2: 38:02

So doing that now excuse me doing that now. It just allows me to do something I love. I maybe pick one or two races a year. I make sure they're sagged, I mean that they have a sagged vehicle. Someone you know follow me so I'm not stressed out about like whether I'm 50, 60 miles in the middle of nowhere at 90 degree heat or whatever. There's always backup. But then I train at home in my trainer or go to do rides here occasionally.

Speaker 1: 38:28

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 38:29

So it's it's. It's different. It's a different kind of like you know racing and goal setting, but in the end it's about you know enjoyment, enjoyment.

Speaker 1: 38:39

Yeah, no, I agree, and I think that's one of the reasons why I love trail running so much is because it's just so beautiful, you, it's just so beautiful you get to see the country, the nature.

Speaker 2: 38:46

We like nature. That's what it is. Yeah, we want to be in nature.

Speaker 1: 38:50

Yep Exactly.

Speaker 2: 38:51

More than we want to race for, like time and anything else anymore.

Speaker 1: 38:54

Yeah exactly I know. I went to a birthday party this past weekend and they were some of my friends on the triathlon team that I was on and I just they were all getting ready to race Saturday, or was it Sunday, I think there was a triathlon.

Speaker 2: 39:10

Yeah, the one in the, the one with the big pool, giant pool. Oh is that it? It was a big one.

Speaker 1: 39:15

Oh, maybe it was a duathlon, yeah, but it was funny because I was just talking to them and thinking I wonder if I'll ever do a triathlon again.

Speaker 2: 39:23

Maybe a relay? I always say relays are fun. Maybe a relay? I always say relays are fun. No, but I know what you're saying. Relays are fun.

Speaker 2: 39:27

Yeah, yeah, I just I didn't feel that same excitement you know listening to them because before I'd get super excited just hearing people talk about it, right, and now it's like I don't know if I you know and it's a question you repeat yourself, like you, when you see, hear the excitement, allow yourself to have it in the exam and then go back, you know, a month from then and ask yourself again, because that changes?

Speaker 1: 39:50

Yeah, it does Changes, mine changed.

Speaker 2: 39:52

Yes, I'm telling you, with triathlon it's like that, like I raced again in this duathlon and I enjoy myself, but not as much as when I go to these gravel.

Speaker 1: 40:02

How long are those races?

Speaker 2: 40:04

Oh, they're anything from 30 miles to 150 miles.

Speaker 1: 40:09

And they don't have support. They're not supported.

Speaker 2: 40:11

Races a lot of them are um, yeah, a lot of them have just someone you can call. They give you a phone number and somebody shows you but you have somebody follow you.

Speaker 1: 40:19

Is that what you said?

Speaker 2: 40:19

I try to stay with some, some people that I know I usually I don't raise these things alone. That's the other thing. I've done differently now I just have a friend who I'm so one. It's my gravel friend who's moving from texas, but she's moving to a beautiful place in idaho, so I'm hoping you have to go see her.

Speaker 1: 40:34

They're doing some gravel race this isn't the one where you guys have um, she's not the italian.

Speaker 2: 40:40

Yes, she's my italian friend.

Speaker 1: 40:42

Oh my gosh, I love her she do you remember on the last podcast you were talking about food. You guys would take food Like prosciutto and Parmesan sandwiches.

Speaker 2: 40:51

That's what we stop. Have a picnic, that's part of enjoyment. Like, I've learned to do that with her because she just takes her time, she's fast but she still stops, eats her prosciutto and Parmesan sandwich and it was just like, oh man, I got to eat real food and that's actually something that I do now I carry real food like sandwiches and yeah, you know, and it's, it's worked out well on my, you know, my, my stomach your stomach, those things.

Speaker 1: 41:17

Yeah, I'm gonna have to start playing around with that yeah, things that really settle well with you yeah yeah, so we can talk about nutrition as well in another podcast.

Speaker 2: 41:26

but um, yeah, well, let's talk about um the well in another podcast.

Speaker 1: 41:28

But yeah, well, let's talk about the emotional changes that you do go through in menopause, and I know the big one is anxiety and fear. I think there's some depression, but what else?

Speaker 2: 41:41

Well, there's depression, anxiety Anxiety is a big one Depression, of course there's comorbidity, so a lot of anxiety can lead to depression and that's known in research. But there's that thing that I talked about, the menopausal onset anxiety, which is people that have never dealt with serious anxiety now are dealing with it. But there's also other things, like body image issues things coming back. Sometimes, things that you haven't addressed earlier now are coming up.

Speaker 1: 42:14

And the body image issues. Is that just around weight gain? Or is it just something that's happening in the brain that someone's just not comfortable in their body? Or is it more, mostly physical, like they just don't feel comfortable in their body?

Speaker 2: 42:31

Yeah, so it's all of it. It's all of it. Um, I've seen, uh, for some of the clients that I work with and personal experience, um, there's, there's the you know you're out there cycling or you're out there exercising in Memorial Park and you're more conscious about you're looking at your, at your legs, and oh, my creepy skin or my jiggly you know my jiggle or my butt is falling and it's now, you know, showing and, and then now I'm covering myself up more because I'm more embarrassed and um, or running at a different time.

Speaker 2: 43:10

So, no, you're not running with everybody else. Yeah, those, all these things are coming from. Also, the fact that you're not it's. It's that transition where you're not, you're not seeing, you're having a hard time accepting that your body's changing physically. That's the one side, right I, I, that's one side right, and I'm one of those.

Speaker 1: 43:27

Yes, For sure.

Speaker 2: 43:28

So I am too Like I try to force myself. It's hot in Houston, yeah, and for me to go out and run with a sports bra by itself, it would be ideal.

Speaker 1: 43:39

Right, I still, I'm conscious about it. Still, I've never worn a sports, just a sports. Bra yeah, the whole time I've been running, even yeah.

Speaker 2: 43:47

And I've seen people happily younger than us and even older uh running freely and I'm always looking wow, that's amazing.

Speaker 2: 43:55

I wish it was so. So anyway, yes, it's a lot of it. A lot of the things coming back is uh, for for me specifically, I had body image issues when I was young. But as an adult, as an aging woman, as a menopausal aging woman, it's an inability to accept that my body does things for me, versus what other people are looking or perceiving about me. If I go out there and I put myself in that mindset, where I go out there, I'm going to wear this bra and I'm not gonna glad, I'm not gonna make eye contact with anybody, I'm just gonna continue telling myself my body allows me to run in 90 degree weather for six miles, big on, at my 53 years old. It's like I would never have. If you would have asked me, I would never believed it yeah, oh my gosh, I'm acclimating.

Speaker 2: 44:45

So what is the minds? What? How can you reframe that and this? Is more the cognitive, behavioral, behavioral. You're telling yourself something that comes automatically right yeah it says like yeah, oh my god, they're looking at me, oh my god, I'm. It's very everybody's young here. Everybody's young and you know perfect fit and fit and then look at those muscles and no I used to be like that.

Speaker 1: 45:05

I used to be like that. I used to be like that. I used to stand on that podium.

Speaker 2: 45:14

But yeah, but then I'm reframing that when that comes up and I go. I say my body allows me to do these things. And this is insane that I'm doing this. I'm running, I still do my intervals. I still sometimes meet my paces. I'm acc this. I'm running, I still do my intervals. Yeah, I still sometimes meet my paces. Yeah, I'm acclimating, my body's acclimating to heat at this age. You know, we have thermoregulation issues.

Speaker 1: 45:37

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 45:38

So, and it's keeping me.

Speaker 1: 45:40

So focus on the positive right, what it is doing for you.

Speaker 2: 45:44

What is it doing for you?

Speaker 1: 45:50

So again, so it's again it's lowering my anxiety it's keeping me active and alert, more focused, better bone better bones.

Speaker 2: 45:55

My ankles are strong yeah you know?

Speaker 1: 45:57

yeah, it's a variety of things and it's all about switching that thought, the thought patterns challenging the challenging things that come from like yeah and and then how much of that is cultural, like, how do we begin to change that piece of it when we're and I'm guilty of this too we're so focused on staying young and we value youth Exactly, and we don't value, you know, what comes with being older and, and, in fact, uh, many women that I have treated that are close to their 70s, um, or in their 70s. I've they've told me many times that when you reach a certain age, you feel like you're not valuable at all yeah, invisible, invisible, you're invisible yeah I'm like, really, and they're like, yes, like people don't pay attention to you, you don't get the same service really.

Speaker 1: 46:47

And they're like, yes, like people don't pay attention to you, you don't get the same service. Like at some point you just it switches and that's super sad to me yeah. That we don't value every age, it's definitely societal.

Speaker 2: 46:58

It's definitely. It's a cultural thing in the Western Western cultures. Yeah, like that's another another, another. One of the interventions that sometimes we do with people is precisely that you know what? What are you consuming, right? You know this is happening. You know there's ageism, you know there's gonna be discrimination, yeah, so, um, you can act, you can address it by, first of all, looking at at what you're consuming. Right, we're consuming what. We get bombarded by fitness stuff. There's something you know the the fence fits duration.

Speaker 2: 47:34

We everybody's has like 10 minutes, you know, have you? I have my feet is full with that. Everybody's young, everybody has a like a 10 minute thing to lose, 10, you know 10 pounds of waist and all kinds of things. But I curate it Now. I follow people that either look like me, or people that look a little more mature, or they're offering something that is more functional versus someone with a tight short showing like a perfect butt, perfect glutes, even men.

Speaker 2: 48:05

I see men with perfect glutes doing these workouts. See men with, like, perfect glutes, you know doing these workouts and I'm like, um, it's great, but I'm saying that goes into you internalize yeah, yeah, you're taking that in, you're taking it in I've looked up just doing my own research.

Speaker 1: 48:19

I've like hashtags and when I look up wellness, it's all fitness and I'm like that's not wellness, that's not wellness.

Speaker 1: 48:26

I agree and I am out to change that yeah um, I am too we should, we're gonna change it we're gonna change it, especially for people that are like getting older, you know yeah yeah, well, I think it's important, I think it's critical for, like you said earlier, to thrive into your older age, because we all want to, you know you can still, you know, maybe that youthfulness needs to be redefined as a vital and you can be vital well into your seventies and eighties.

Speaker 1: 48:57

There was just I just saw somebody she was in her eighties, uh, was she 80? Maybe she was almost 90. I can't remember. I just saw it like I think, on Instagram she did a marathon. There was a guy who just did Ironman who was like 90 something.

Speaker 2: 49:13

There's the Iron Nun that did Kona for like yeah. So yeah, there's. That's a great point. There's vitality to be had in older age.

Speaker 1: 49:23

And that should be the goal for a lot of people.

Speaker 2: 49:25

Of course you can still look great. I mean, you can still go for the goals of looking great. But you know it's more holistic. It's like we're talking about vitality, functionality, energy.

Speaker 1: 49:37

Mindset and mindset. I think it's huge. I think that shows more than anything. You know somebody who is older who has a vital mindset and a growth mindset. I think it comes across and their movements and their speech and the things that they choose to do.

Speaker 2: 49:56

Yeah, I follow. I am now, I mean, the last five years I've been following more, like you know, people that are like there's a big page called Growing Bolder, I don't know if you follow them. They post about big achievements and and you know the journey of people that are like older and the things they're doing. And they post stuff like you know the marathon runner who's 90 years old and things like that, but not only fitness. They do other things, like people have changed careers, people that yeah, it could be anything, could be anything.

Speaker 2: 50:22

And um, and I started following, uh, some of the old, uh mountain bikers. I'm following athletes that are still out there either out. We're doing outreach, promoting wellness, um, promoting like a holistic way of seeing things doing, transforming their athletic careers or careers in general um in a very creative way. Um, I have plenty of.

Speaker 1: 50:46

I have a list of places that I people that I can send you oh, I love it, yeah, yeah, I would love that I, because I really love your idea of being mindful and curating your own feed, because you have to be these days, um. So if you find yourself, uh, stuck in a rut or you're feeling a certain way, I think that's great advice to what are you consuming.

Speaker 2: 51:09

Exactly Like you can do it with anything. Now that we're kind of talking about non-athletes as well. Like I follow a lady, I like fashion. I like to look at fashion got tired of looking at super young. So I follow now these older women, older than us, who are still dressing impeccably or they're like modeling, certain, you know, and looking young, but with fashion you know like doing these things and they look fresh and they look they're, you know, in their sixties, but amazing looking fashion.

Speaker 2: 51:41

So you can really you need to send me that too, yeah.

Speaker 1: 51:44

I will, I will.

Speaker 2: 51:46

Oh my gosh, that lady. She's, of course, an influencer for a for expensive brands, the older lady.

Speaker 1: 51:53

Is she the? Does she? Curly hair short, oh no there's one who has super distinguished glasses. Um, I think she's like 80 years old. She's super influencer that's my feed.

Speaker 2: 52:07

my feed is full of that and I'm loving it because even the way I go out and I no longer have to think about wearing something that looks useful, I can wear something that makes me that I like. But there's also there's elegance.

Speaker 1: 52:23

There's other things.

Speaker 2: 52:24

There's other things into looking good and fresh and have vitality, and there's also personality, and then you're talking about personality. Speaks for you, right?

Speaker 1: 52:32

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 52:33

It's pretty amazing what you can do by just cutting out on some of the junk.

Speaker 1: 52:38

Well, I love that, because I think people forget that there are algorithms. Oh yeah, and it's. You know, if we look at one thing, it's going to keep suggesting that one thing to you. So I really like that a lot.

Speaker 2: 52:54

I'm not saying getting rid of everything. I still follow, like EDM, which is like house music and that's young people. But of course, yes, you know you curate it. So at least the visuals or whatever it is. But it's possible, right.

Speaker 1: 53:08

No, I think that's a great tip. I'm actually going to do that. I'm going to start doing that. So, yes, send me that list, because I want to start.

Speaker 2: 53:14

I will. I will Some really cool things in there.

Speaker 1: 53:17

So what? We talked a little bit about emotional changes, depression, anxiety. What about coping mechanisms? What are some effective coping mechanisms for dealing with emotional and psychological changes going through this time, besides a great counselor?

Speaker 2: 53:37

Right, oh, my goodness, so there's. I would always say, yeah, yeah, definitely, keep that in on the short list. You know, like you know the possibility of seeing a therapist as well, because's? Um, it's always important, especially if you. The way you would know if you need a therapist generally is if you're being, if your life is being affected occupationally or personally, like if you're having serious relationship issues, if you're having issues at work, if you're not able to cope with like you normally, like your normal selves would have, like you look at back, look back in your life and you say I used to be able to do this, I used to be able to do that without any issues now I'm not able to and this is very common in menopause like there's a huge, like a pretty big percentage of, uh, women leave the workforce.

Speaker 2: 54:29

Oh, oh, really, yes, doing menopause, and this is something that came research from all over. But in the UK, in the US, to the point that there's some groups started doing research on getting some sort of like you know, like the, you know, unemployment rights and stuff like that, but also getting something related to giving menopaus also women time off in the workforce, cause some people, yeah, so I mean, it's like it's real, it's like it's a disability. It could almost be qualified as a disability for some people.

Speaker 1: 55:02

Yeah, I know, some people have some pretty severe signs and symptoms, for sure.

Speaker 2: 55:08

So some of the coping skills there's, you know, if you go to therapy, like if you go to therapy and you realize some of the things that you're going to be working on, at least depending on the theoretical approach that a therapist you go to. I am a very value, strength-based kind of coach uh, counselor, and I say coach cause the coach never leaves me. Um, but I am, but I work with values. So one of the first things we talk about is priorities. What are your values?

Speaker 1: 55:37

Do you do the VIA test? What does it stand for, value assessment? I can't remember. I think it's called VIA.

Speaker 2: 55:51

Yeah, I don't use any sort of assessment specifically, but I do go over value sets and we talk about family values, we talk about personal values, we talk about occupational values. So we look at that whole set and, since I was working with women, a lot of it comes back to relationship right. Relationships. I'm having issues because my husband is not understanding this and that and this and that.

Speaker 2: 56:14

So, um, we talk about couples, like what are the values in your relationships? Right, and sometimes it's just you know, um. So we go over, yeah, we go over values, values, and then we talk about strengths. So what are your strengths? What are the things that you feel like you still are doing okay? What are the things that in the past, you were able to get a handle on? So I like to go back and look. I'm not a past. You know, going into the past too much unless there's serious drama, but sometimes we go to the past to just look to see what worked in the past.

Speaker 2: 56:46

Yeah right, so grabbing the stuff from the past, what worked?

Speaker 1: 56:51

And giving past. Yeah Right, so grabbing the stuff from the past, what worked?

Speaker 2: 56:53

and giving them the confidence to move forward Right and that helps you say oh that was working in the past. Yeah, I was able to do this. Now you try it and it doesn't work. Then we look at something else. But while working with values, you also work with strengths. And then, once you establish your strength and you looked at what is important, what's essential, we look at are you setting boundaries with people around you during this stage?

Speaker 1: 57:12

right.

Speaker 2: 57:13

Like are you asking your employer for time off after you know? Do you have accommodations, either formal or informal, around having hot flashes in your office? So we go into specifics. Whatever it is, if it's hot flashes, if it's anxiety, if you have depression, can you take personal days and can you then begin negotiating. These things are not in place with a lot of employers.

Speaker 2: 57:41

These are things that are just starting to come up for people. And then another thing that I also work with clients is that we talk a lot about acceptance in a nonjudgmental way. You being accepting right, like how do you deal with conflict in your life with others around boundary setting? And around setting making sure you live by your true values, because this is a really important stage too. If you don't do it now, when are you going to live by your values right? Right Now is the time.

Speaker 1: 58:17

Well, and now for many women, like you had mentioned earlier, sending kids off to school, and you have that time you know to think about these things and to reprioritize yourself, yeah, and what those values are in living.

Speaker 2: 58:34

Yes, absolutely. So you have the time, and I would say like, if you're not finding the time, try to find maybe an intentional day of the week or an hour here and there to journal for example so yeah, we talked about it in the podcast before.

Speaker 2: 58:51

I don't know if we have, but journaling is a big one to clarify values and things like that. Also, going back to what I said about acceptance in a nonjudgmental way, this is a really good time for approaching everything that comes up in your mind about yourself in a nonjudgmental way. Self-compassion, right, because this is like a time where your body is going through a lot of major changes and, like I mentioned before, you just reminded me and I just mentioned that I didn't know I was going through it and now I know that was happening back during parent all these things that were happening during perimenopause and I had no self-compassion, so all I was doing is beating myself up.

Speaker 1: 59:40

Being hard on yourself.

Speaker 2: 59:41

Yeah, yeah, creating more anxiety for myself.

Speaker 1: 59:43

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 59:44

And why am I such a bad person? Because my parents were at home and they needed things from me. My kids needed things from me. My kids needed things from me. I was doing a degree Instead of just setting a boundary. It's like, hey, I have to work this day, I have stuff to do, I'm just going to give everybody a heads up. Things like that Boundary setting comes quite a bit up in conversations with women.

Speaker 1: 1:00:12

Yeah, well, especially if you have kids, especially if you have kids. Yes, I you know.

Speaker 2: 1:00:18

I have a, I'm a dog mom.

Speaker 1: 1:00:20

So I haven't had to set many boundaries. My boundaries are more with myself and with you know, some friends, you know, like that have come and gone.

Speaker 2: 1:00:35

Uh, just making sure that you know those. The boundaries with yourself are huge. Yeah right, what are you going to allow yourself right to engage like? How many commitments are you going to allow yourself to put put?

Speaker 1: 1:00:42

on your agenda, which is I have. I tend to fill my plate up right, right.

Speaker 2: 1:00:47

And that's the compassion when you say, when you tell yourself you know what this might end up being too much and allowing yourself more time or more flex time for yeah, yeah, so that's that's my biggest my biggest challenge Uh, yeah, it's doing that and I and I could add a ton of more, a ton more.

Speaker 1: 1:01:05

And I told my coach I'm like I have a, she does my SEO but she's also my, my coach and um, I'm like I have a.

Speaker 2: 1:01:09

she does my SEO, but she's also my, my coach and um.

Speaker 1: 1:01:12

I'm like I can't add that to my plate, but I want to I just I came up with another idea and I'm like no, I can't do any more because I still need that time to decompress, yes, and so I just can't get it all done. And then I start to stress myself out because I want to do this and I haven't met my deadlines, and then I'm like but I can't just work all the time and you know, so it's easy to do.

Speaker 2: 1:01:38

Yeah, sometimes those things are approached with clients like you approach racing or training for a race. You set goals. You set your goals initially, you look at your strengths and things like that, but then you break those goals into small pieces right To be able to achieve them and sometimes part of the process is scratching some of those goals and living with it. So I mean I don't know you, but I have done a lot more scratching in the last four or five years that I've you know, of all kinds, like nope, I paid that and I didn't take that course. I signed up for that, didn't finish it Before when I was younger I forced myself to finish things.

Speaker 1: 1:02:23

Oh yeah, so now it's not, we talked about it when I was in the Azores. I quit because I was having my tendonitis started um hurting pretty badly and I was at mile 16 and I was supposed to do 40 and it was all stairs and climbing and I was like you know what I'm done let me go enjoy portugal, you know like this is. That was enough for me yeah, it's.

Speaker 2: 1:02:43

That's all self-compassion. Yeah, yeah, and it's, it's needed. Is it's so critical to do, to be like that?

Speaker 1: 1:02:50

know. It's interesting, though again this goes back to culture and other people, the external environment, because in a vacuum I'm okay, I'm completely okay with those decisions. In a vacuum, it's when I get in front of friends and I get this sense of judgment or this like they want to. They don't not really diagnose, but they come up with their, they project their own belief system on me. That's when I start having issues you know, because in a vacuum, I'm fine with my decision.

Speaker 2: 1:03:21

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:03:21

But it's like why can't you be fine with my decision?

Speaker 2: 1:03:24

too, you know.

Speaker 1: 1:03:25

And so that's my struggle is when I start feeling those judgments from other people or those projections from other people. Yeah, Right.

Speaker 2: 1:03:33

So that's where, like, you have to sort of learn to identify where does the other person's stuff begins and where yours end, right, right. And then sit with that voice that it's feeling self-judged yeah, and we can go. We usually go down there and that's the part where we go into. Like you know, corby leads.

Speaker 1: 1:03:53

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:03:53

Like, what's happening? What's the Corby? What are you telling yourself? Yeah, but these things can continue to be conversations you can have with yourself. Yeah, you know, through journaling, through setting boundaries with people, setting boundaries with people, you know, I one something, something that comes up with boundaries quite a bit. That it's critical is that sometimes we don't realize that we a boundary can be set for time. Yeah, you can say, you can say to someone hey, sign up for this, let's do that. Oh, no, we're gonna meet tomorrow. And then somebody that has an agenda for you, or someone who has like or not, not, we're not, you know, basically is not aligning with your. Whatever your goals are, whatever it is, partner kids, you can always ask for time.

Speaker 1: 1:04:38

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:04:39

When you're not sure. And this is coming up a lot, a lot in this at this stage where, like, I'm really not sure, cause I've never done that yeah, I've never worked in being in school while I'm training for a race. I've never dropped. I never dnf at a race like it happened last year yeah, I never happened. You didn't finish the race. That was the first time that happened yeah, I mean you had.

Speaker 1: 1:05:02

I know you had another one, but oh yeah, this one I I quit, I like made, I made the decision right it. Yeah, like.

Speaker 2: 1:05:11

I was done. So from all those experiences there's some big lessons, there's some big learnings, right, and I always say it always goes back to the acceptance of the fate of whatever happened in a non-judgmental way, as in I did everything I could with the information I had in that moment, yeah, well, and it was, uh, and it was self-preservation too because I wanted to keep running that's a huge one.

Speaker 1: 1:05:41

Yeah, that's I didn't want to be out, right yeah I've thought about self-preservation so many times when.

Speaker 2: 1:05:50

I go on like scary stuff, like mountain biking and stuff, and I can, like you know, I really you know we don't really go over the same.

Speaker 1: 1:05:58

Is it worth it? Is it worth it? You know, control the controllables when you're racing and doing things.

Speaker 2: 1:06:04

So, yeah, yeah. So it's like about a nonjudgmental way of you know, removing some of the self-judgment, because if you realize, if you think about it, we're always self-judging.

Speaker 1: 1:06:17

Always.

Speaker 2: 1:06:18

It's like oh, you know, we're here, we're setting up and you're telling yourself that you should have done this or should have done that Right.

Speaker 1: 1:06:26

Well, I had this great idea and then, when I saw you walk in, I was going to do it. And then I saw you walking up and I was like I don't have time. But, but there's also a difference between being judge. Judging yourself is having, whether it's good or bad right.

Speaker 1: 1:06:46

Where observation is more of a mindful awareness, which I think is important. But you have to be able to know the difference between the two, and I may be asking yourself am I saying I'm a bad person or I'm doing something wrong because of this?

Speaker 2: 1:07:16

Or am I just making an observation like this is something I'd like to change, or this is something that I feel like is a strength, or you know, like there there's a difference, right, and in the in the counseling in the therapy field.

Speaker 2: 1:07:21

They, they, say just be the observer of whatever comes and done. Don't, don't uh throw a judgment of any kind, neutral, positive or negative. Just observe it and then gently bring your mind to whatever the present moment is. And my theoretical approach is cognitive, behavioral, but I do talk about quite a bit about positive psychology and mindfulness, which is in DBT which is the present moment, at this stage, is important that we are enjoying the journey and the process.

Speaker 1: 1:07:52

Yeah, and and also having that growth mindset where everything is a learning, you're learning and everything. So you had mentioned earlier that you, you know, go back to a time when you had a strength and you were able to do something that you wanted to accomplish now and using that to build confidence to move forward. But if that doesn't work now, that's okay.

Speaker 1: 1:08:17

Yeah, it's not going to look the same, but that's not the point. The point is to learn from that and try something different, right. And then, with that growth mindset, you start to figure things out. What, uh, what, will work for you in reaching that goal?

Speaker 2: 1:08:31

Yeah, exactly, it's just learning from. Yeah, that's basically how you launch yourself into resilience basically Learning from the past? Yeah, Because we all have successes. The people say no, I've never done anything. I've always been a failure, or I've always had this issue with my body, or I've always had no, we look back and we search enough with the client. You always find something that they're competent at or that they have strengths of some sort so we all have them.

Speaker 1: 1:09:01

Yeah, yeah, but yeah, sometimes you have to uncover them Sometimes you have to go deep like uncover them. But you know, and some people don't like going deep.

Speaker 2: 1:09:09

I've found too.

Speaker 1: 1:09:09

I've been shut down a couple of times, yeah, but that's okay, they're just not ready.

Speaker 2: 1:09:14

That happens in therapy and psychotherapy as well, and you work with what you have. Yeah, because you can't have an agenda, you have to go with the client's autonomous. They decide where to go.

Speaker 1: 1:09:27

Yeah, that's another thing I really love about coaching.

Speaker 2: 1:09:30

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:09:32

You know, is that you are empowering. You just ask the question. It's really up to the client and where they want to go and how deep they want to go, and everybody you know is at the right place at the right time to do the right thing Exactly.

Speaker 2: 1:09:48

Yeah, I think something we go back to quickly that the part about the present moment is really important in that process yeah um learning to like. You know you have a goal and we can get carried away in a goal or achievement, but then in the end you know, tied along with the menopausal transition, how it's like. It's all it comes down to self-compassion, but able to enjoy that transition in the process right, yeah, and thrive in your, in your later, later years.

Speaker 1: 1:10:20

So, okay, great, well, so we've talked about. We've talked about a lot of stuff yeah well, I think we just touched on some self-care strategies and I guess my next question, before we kind of wrap things up here, is do you have any advice for younger women, women who have not yet even? They're still in? You know their fertile years thinking about kids and you know their fertile years thinking about kids and you know they're not thinking about perimenopause and menopausal signs and symptoms or what they might experience.

Speaker 2: 1:11:00

Do you have any advice to younger women? That's a great question. I would, of course, keeping in mind that everyone has a unique experience with this transition or before the transition, and everybody's experiences are unique, period right. So, coming from my own experience, I would tell you to basically let go of what other people think and look around your environment. People think and look around your environment and the people closest to you and what you consume, be it news, social media, whatever it is and just basically make sure those things align with the perception you want to have of yourself.

Speaker 2: 1:11:49

I like that, yeah. So finding a sense of empowerment through your own journey, through where you want to go, as in the past, when I was younger, I was just going through the motions working, studying, dealing with parents, kids, the traditional role, traditional roles but I wasn't really stopped in thinking about what is mine? What in the what? What in these thoughts are really truly mine? Where do I want to be? Or, um, you know, just letting go of the perception others have of you, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:12:22

I like that advice. I like it. I think I would say enjoy every stage of life.

Speaker 2: 1:12:30

They all matter.

Speaker 1: 1:12:32

They all matter and each time is a time to recreate and renew and to do something different. If that's the case, like you said, you look at your values and your strengths and your priorities and it's just a good time to reset.

Speaker 2: 1:12:48

Right. And yeah, don't postpone the things that make you lose track of time. Don't postpone the joy, Whatever it is. Pinpoint what that is, Look for it and then don't postpone it because a lot of things all the hard things are happening. Or don't wait until you're done with hard things to do the good things.

Speaker 1: 1:13:10

Yeah, a lot of people are like that. Yeah, what do you think that is? Why do you think we? It's kind of like I do that when I eat, I save the best for last, and then I'm like and then I'm full, yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:13:22

I have my own personal opinion as to why that is, but I think it's because we're putting, we're not comfortable with being present, we're not comfortable with the moment and we think joy and happiness is ahead and it's not, it's here, it's here, I mean especially now in this stage you see it, it's here.

Speaker 1: 1:13:41

This is it yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:13:44

Enjoy every second as much as you can. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:13:47

And every stage of life. I'm working on this one.

Speaker 1: 1:13:50

Yeah, it's the first time I've had to do some work um around kind of stages of of life I've always just eased and then yeah, right into the next, it's never been an issue, but this one has been and it's been harder for me and I think the hardest part has been because I am an athlete and my body's changing and that's been really hard for me, particularly hard for athletes, absolutely, yeah, it just. I feel strong right now, but you know just your body's changing and, like you said, even my skin sometimes.

Speaker 2: 1:14:34

I'm like I'm a little.

Speaker 1: 1:14:35

I think I'm a little drier.

Speaker 2: 1:14:36

Is it a little bit drier?

Speaker 1: 1:14:40

What's that all about? And when you're constantly moving and, uh, you're active, it's hard to yeah, it's hard to process it. So I have work to do around it, but I keep telling myself that every stage matters and there's something really beautiful and empowering that can come out of this stage, the wisdom that's there. I definitely feel like I'm wiser. In fact, there's some days I'm like how do I?

Speaker 2: 1:15:11

know all this stuff Exactly and that that is important, that you put it in the forefront.

Speaker 1: 1:15:16

Yeah, you have wisdom, yeah, uh, so. So I'm working on that.

Speaker 2: 1:15:21

But we all are we continue to work on it.

Speaker 1: 1:15:24

But I I like also what you said is reframing things and it's like, oh my gosh, my body is doing this, I can do this. You know, I can go run, like I went running yesterday around 11, 10. Oh, actually it was around 1030 and it was super hot already. And you know I didn't have any problems and but you're right Like I'm out here doing this stuff.

Speaker 2: 1:15:46

So yeah, it is, it is. It is kind of a miracle. You know it is, it is. It is kind of a miracle, you know. It's like a little bit of a you know, biological miracle that we get to do this. Yeah, my mom wasn't running marathons, she was exercising, but she wasn't.

Speaker 1: 1:16:01

And I also think again, it goes back to that mindset too, right? If you don't think you can do it, or if society has always told you that this is not something that you can do because you are older now, then then you're not going to do it, right?

Speaker 2: 1:16:16

Right, and then we take a medical advice. It's like, okay, stop running. Or, like you know from non-runners, from non-runners, so stop altogether. Like I went to get my physical and that gets like you're pre-diabetic. Uh, prescribe exercise and nutrition. I'm like, oh, can I exercise more to lower pre-diabetic? I don't know so you see, that's why it's so unique that you do, you become an agent of your health you, you have to be.

Speaker 1: 1:16:41

I am a big advocate for that. Uh, you know, I I love my, my gynecologist, but I did ask her because I had put on some weight and she's like, sherry, you're, it's normal, like you're fine, and I'm like, no, no, this is not okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:16:59

I'm taking over. I'm taking over now.

Speaker 1: 1:17:04

Well, do you have any resources or recommendations, any books, websites, resources you would recommend for women seeking more help?

Speaker 2: 1:17:10

recommendations any books, websites, resources you would recommend for women seeking more help? Yes, so I have of course something that. I've mentioned here before, I have a great podcast as well. It's called Feisty Menopause.

Speaker 1: 1:17:20

Oh, you mentioned that the last time. I'll put that in the show notes. Okay, Feisty.

Speaker 2: 1:17:24

Menopause is a great show and it does go over like pre-menopausal perimenopausal.

Speaker 1: 1:17:30

She's an athlete. She's an athlete, yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:17:33

And she used to be a professional mountain biker and she still and she brings it's just not athletics, she brings MDs, she brings experts, researchers. She has all of it covered. I get more information from that podcast and from their articles than any other place in one location. Okay, I thought I started listening Right and she talked there's mental health, there's like biological, there's, you know, remedies there's they're talking about new treatments, hormone replacement and everything else like how to treat it, sleep arthritis you name it.

Speaker 2: 1:18:13

It's a great resource. Also, I follow Dr Stacey Sims, which is also affiliated.

Speaker 1: 1:18:18

She's here.

Speaker 2: 1:18:19

Dr Stacey Sims is the one that wrote the book Next Level for Menopause. It's a great book, but she also has a book on how to work as a young woman. But she also has a book on how to work as a young woman, how to work with your period and the way that your period goes and everything and all the phases and how to work with that in terms of being active, doing training and things like that.

Speaker 2: 1:18:45

So it's like she covers everything and I don't know if she's in San Francisco or, like she's from New. Zealandaland, I think because she has a lot of research, she's a um, she's a physiologist. Okay, so those are two of the big, uh, big ones and also of course, curate your social media. I have I follow growing boulder, which is uh for men and women. It's just talks about like important things uh related to uh people doing big things or small things in.

Speaker 1: 1:19:12

And you're going to send me that list. You have a list, I will.

Speaker 2: 1:19:14

Yeah, I have them. I have all that I can send it to you, okay.

Speaker 1: 1:19:19

I'll put that in the show notes too.

Speaker 2: 1:19:20

Yeah, and then I'll send you also the one about the lady that wears all the elegant.

Speaker 1: 1:19:24

I love it, you know like fashion, Please Clothes so well, cool, Well, thank you. Well, I think this is probably a good place to wrap things up. We've been going for almost an hour and 30. We start talking. So any final thoughts?

Speaker 2: 1:19:51

messages that you would like to share with the listeners. Just like to be, you know, very kind to yourself. Through this process, I realized that my worst enemy is myself. Yeah and uh, how like. Don't believe everything you think, just observe what you think and don't. Don't judge it, just you know, observe it and say where is this coming from? And then set goals, like we've mentioned. Set goals that align with your values, and you can't fail when you say your goals a goal that is aligned with a personal, deep value. It almost never fails.

Speaker 1: 1:20:21

Yeah, so yeah, and know that, um, there, there are conversations happening about this. And so, if you have questions, there are conversations happening about this, and so if you have questions, reach out to somebody.

Speaker 2: 1:20:36

Yeah, reach out to you know, there's all these resources out there. I have a page, my own website. I do coaching.

Speaker 1: 1:20:42

I'll put that in there too, but I also.

Speaker 2: 1:20:45

I'm going to be in private practice soon Soon, with under a supervisor and her own practice, and I'm going to see couples okay also individuals, couples and maybe some families, okay, so I'll share that as soon as I have it.

Speaker 1: 1:21:00

But yeah, it's coming up and I want to work with active people as well, so okay it's one of the populations that I will probably work with active people yeah like people that are athletes, former athletes or even amateur age groupers like we are, and things like that yeah, yeah, because I wonder how many women out there are not active at this age, like you said, because they just lost motivation and they just feel like that, if you know they they have, because I see it a lot in here. Yeah, um, they want to do something, yeah, but yeah, that motivation isn't there. But they're not aware of that that this could be yeah um there's, it could be a solution they could be for them and they're usually holistic, and they're usually holistic they're.

Speaker 2: 1:21:50

It's a lifestyle all around you know. Yeah, yeah, so yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:21:56

So that's pretty much it. Yeah, I like the takeaway. So, yeah, conversation and changing the perspective on how we view the later stages of life, I think are key, they're very key. Yes, yeah, well, thank you, istra, as always.

Speaker 2: 1:22:16

It's such a pleasure. I love it. Thank you for having me. I love being here, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:22:21

Well, I think we decided we would do it every so often.

Speaker 2: 1:22:24

Yeah so whenever you accumulate some important content, I'll come.

Speaker 1: 1:22:29

Well, you'll be graduated, you'll be practicing.

Speaker 2: 1:22:33

Yeah, by the time we meet, we'll be practicing and I'll have more uh, more important information to share, so it'll be fun. Thank you so much, thank you.

Speaker 1: 1:22:54

If you like what you hear, please subscribe to the podcast and share with your family and friends. You can also give me a rating and review wherever you listen to your podcast. It helps others find me as well. To get updates on new episodes and wellness inspiration in your inbox, please join the wellness inspired community. Go to the wellness inspired podcastcom to sign up. I'll put the link to the website in the show notes so you can click and join. Also, there's a Facebook community at the wellness inspired and you can follow me on Instagram at wellness underscore inspired.

Speaker 1: 1:23:25

If you're in the Houston area or just visiting and interested in our services acupuncture, herbal medicine, cupping, zinchiatsu or dry needling therapy contact us. You can find out more on our website at element5omcom that's element5, the number 5, omcom, and again I'll put the link in the show notes. If you're interested in health and wellness coaching, we can connect in the clinic or on Zoom. Reach out to us and we'll get you on the schedule and, as always, I would love to hear your feedback. I am dedicated to bringing you great content that is inspiring and informative, with an artsy, fun, edgy spin. Thank you so much for listening. We'll meet here again next time and remember never stop exploring, learning, loving and being you Bye.

The Wellness Inspired Podcast

A Positive Approach to Menopause and Mental Health with Istra Bauza

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