95 - Embracing Perimenopause: Navigating Symptoms and Body Positivity with Kate Williams Stone pt 1

Have you ever felt bewildered by perimenopause, uncertain what to expect from this transformative phase? Let Kate Williams Stone, a non-diet health and life coach with a special focus on perimenopause, illuminate the path for you. Together, we unravel the complexities of perimenopause, from distinguishing it from menopause to addressing the symptomatic changes women encounter—often starting in their 40s. In a culture brimming with stigma and shame around natural life transitions, we join forces to alter the narrative, championing a message of empowerment and body positivity. Kate, with her expertise on intuitive eating and hormone-honoring habits, brings refreshing insights that counter the diet culture and encourage women to honor their bodies through this natural yet often misunderstood life stage.

Strap in for a candid conversation that sheds light on why tracking your menstrual cycle can be a game-changer as you approach perimenopause. We share personal stories and caution against the allure of pricey at-home tests, steering you towards more dependable medical advice. As we broach the subjects of cyclical living and the four phases of the menstrual cycle, we lay the groundwork for a future episode with Kate that promises to further enrich your understanding. This episode is more than just a guide—it's a companion, offering clarity and support to women navigating perimenopause with the grace and confidence they deserve.


Mentioned on the show:

Kate's Instagram
Kate's Facebook
Kate's website and free guide to nondiet perimenopause

Menopause.org

Free Workshop

Is this perimenopause or am I losing my mind?
A non diet perspective to midlife

Friday February 16th at 1pm ET/ 10 am PT
on zoom

www.KateWilliamsStone.com/freeclass

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:50

Hey, welcome back to the show. In this episode, I am joined by Kate William Stone. Kate is a non-diet health and life coach who specializes in helping women in perimenopause build confidence around their relationship with food and body so that they can feel amazing without the diet culture BS. She uses the principles of intuitive eating, coupled with hormone-honoring health habits, as a powerful way to support women through the challenges of perimenopause. Her signature framework includes peaceful eating practices, cyclical living, normalizing body changes with feminist, non-diet mindset coaching.

Speaker 1: 1:30

Now Kate and I got to talking a lot about this very interesting topic and so, rather than putting out a very long episode, I broke it up into two parts, just like we did with Margo and a couple other guests that I've had on, so that they're bite-sized and you can still consume them. So in this first part, kate tells us all about what perimenopause is and how we kind of might have been thinking about that incorrectly for some time. So let's get to the part one of my interview with Kate William Stone. As I said in the intro, we are joined by my friend and colleague, kate William Stone. Kate and I met during a non-diet mentorship program with Stephanie Dodie, and when my friend reached out and asked if I knew anybody that does perimenopause from an anti-diet, intuitive eating perspective. I knew Kate was the person to come on. So, kate, welcome to the show. Thanks, sabrina, I'm so glad to be here. Thought it might be a good place to start of having you define what perimenopause is and how it may be different from menopause.

Speaker 2: 2:41

Yeah. So let's define what menopause is and perimenopause, because you'll hear both of those words used not in the correct sense and then everyone can know in this conversation how I'm using that vocabulary. So menopause is, technically, one day it's the one-year anniversary of you not having any periods, so no bleeding. One year anniversary, that's your menopause and then, technically, after that day, your postmenopausal, like my brain just went wait, it's one day. Yeah, if we're gonna get really technical. So you can now see how everyone's using the word menopause incorrectly.

Speaker 1: 3:28

It's always. I'm going through menopause.

Speaker 2: 3:31

Yeah. So what people mean when they say that is that they're going through perimenopause. Perimenopause is the premenopause, the five to ten years leading up to your menopause. Those are the years that you're most symptomatic. Your periods are changing, your symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats. I mean there's a long list of things that you can experience, but that's what you're experiencing in perimenopause, leading up to menopause, when you officially have one year of no bleeding.

Speaker 2: 4:09

The average age in the US for menopause is 51, but everybody's different. There's a range. So I like to tell my friends, my clients, like around 40 is when you should start educating yourself about, like what's coming next. Everybody's different. I have clients who have experienced symptoms at 35, 37, 38. Some women are in full menopause in their mid 40s and some people are in their mid 50s. So there's a real range of experiences. But I think it's good to know what to expect and how to navigate it, because it just normalizes the whole experience, like there's nothing wrong with you, you're not sick, it's not a diagnosis, it is a natural hormonal transition, just like your first puberty. But that doesn't mean it's like super easy and we can make it easier by just like normalizing the experience and talking about it and taking the stigma out of the conversation.

Speaker 1: 5:08

Yeah, and I love that you said that it's, that it's a natural part of human life, especially for those of us with female reproductive organs. I mean, if we live to be that of that age, we're all going to go through it at some point, and yet it's highly stigmatized and looked down upon and it's this big, like that, change.

Speaker 2: 5:34

Yeah, there's so much shame, I think, around this experience. I think it's shifting. We're seeing more and more high profile women come out and talk publicly about their menopause and perimenopause experiences. So that's a great thing, that's a great shift from the prior generation, and we still have a lot of work to do and need greater support because, like everything in women's health, this is severely underfunded and therefore under researched. So we're operating as women in perimenopause in a totally broken system, with a medical system that doesn't have answers for us a lot of the time. There are some gems who do have answers, but there's a lot that's still being discovered.

Speaker 1: 6:25

And it's so true. There hasn't been a lot of research done on it and so there's not a lot of information out there that we can even go find. So the information that is out there is spotty and steeped in diet, culture and all of this other misogyny stuff.

Speaker 2: 6:47

Yeah, that's the most popular stuff. I mean, those are the targeted ads that I get on my social media, that I hide on a daily basis about, like bust your menobelly and banish the muffin top. And like some ridiculous picture of a woman looking in a mirror, like shaming her, changing body, and I'm like this is not the narrative that I'm subscribing to, like I'm not saying it's all like unicorns and rainbows, but like I don't, my body's not wrong, my body's not broken for going through this experience.

Speaker 1: 7:21

It's doing exactly what it's supposed to do.

Speaker 2: 7:24

Yeah, but it can feel like you're out of body, out of mind, like that experience can still be true.

Speaker 1: 7:33

Yeah well, I relate it to pregnancy of a lot of times like, yes, my body is doing exactly what it's supposed to do and sometimes it didn't feel great, yeah, but it was all quote normal and it was all what was supposed to happen. And then with childbirth, like I went into childbirth thinking my body knows what to do, everything happens, for I hate that state. Everything happens for a reason.

Speaker 2: 8:00

But if it does, like your body moved through those phases and those changes, because that's what's supposed to happen, given that time of your life, yeah, you know I've never put it with the analogy of pregnancy and childbirth, but it really is a great analogy because there's a lot of uncomfortable kind of gross, kind of weird things that happen and it's normal yeah.

Speaker 1: 8:29

Even if your experience is different from your best friends, it's still normal.

Speaker 2: 8:33

Yeah, and so if you've operated, like in the medical system, one thing I want to point out is where your experiences would be different is OBGYNs or anyone with medical training get extensive training. If they're dealing with women's health around pregnancy and childbirth and fertility, those are the money makers. What they don't get training on is perimenopause and menopause, and why I want to highlight this is as a patient. This is where your experience may differ, because I'm I don't know about your childbirth and pregnancy experience, but like I was met with resources and education and follow up visits and conversations right, and a birth plan and I got a doula and like the whole thing right, and women frequently will have an experience of going to their primary care doctor and saying, okay, I'm over 40. I'm not feeling like myself. Something is changing. I'm still cycling regularly, but like I don't feel like myself. Could this be perimenopause?

Speaker 2: 9:42

I actually also had this conversation with my doctor and they are frequently met with no, you're too young, and a dismissal and kind of a gaslighting. And so if you have had that experience, if you do have that experience, I just wanna normalize it for you. There is nothing wrong with you, like good for you for advocating and being aware of your body. And what's going on is probably that doctor just doesn't have the education and resources. So it's not about you, it's about them and the broken system that they're operating in.

Speaker 1: 10:17

Yeah, it's like you said before. There's just not enough information out there, there hasn't been enough research done to then cycle through to our providers so that they have that to say oh yeah, this is probably what's starting, you're probably starting perimenopause. Yeah, yeah, when you said like yeah, I just don't feel like myself, like I kind of get what you mean by that, but what other symptoms, what other things might a woman experience going through perimenopause?

Speaker 2: 10:48

Yeah, I mean there's a long, long list. You have symptoms that potentially know. I will not name them all, but first the most valuable information, I think for you and your doctor if you're not already tracking your cycles, start tracking your cycles. If you're an app person, if you're a paper calendar person, just like collect that information. It is gonna help you in the long run because we wanna establish what's normal quote unquote for you and then you can start seeing where it's changing and that's really helpful.

Speaker 1: 11:21

How much detail should we be tracking, like the start of our period, end of our period, the?

Speaker 2: 11:29

flow. Yeah, I mean, if you can track all of it, that would be amazing. I know that's not always realistic in women's lives, but the start date and then the next start date. So knowing how long your cycles are is helpful, and then also how long you're bleeding for and how heavy or light it is. And some of the first changes in perimenopause are just changes to your cycle.

Speaker 2: 11:57

So what usually was your normal for your body all of a sudden starts changing. Or maybe it starts changing like one month and then it's back to normal, and then it changes for two months and then it's back to normal. So it can look like shorter menstrual cycles, so 25 days or less, sometimes shorter amounts of bleeding or longer amounts of bleeding, or heavier flow or lighter flow. But any of these changes from what was normal for you are things to pay attention to. The thing that surprises women the most is some of the early perimenopause symptoms can be that your cycle gets shorter, like more frequent and heavier, and it's kind of counterintuitive, right Cause you're thinking, wait, I'm going towards menopause, I'm gonna be not bleeding. So shouldn't it happen that like I'm going longer and lighter and instead I'm going closer and heavier? But that's some of the first perimenopause changes.

Speaker 1: 13:01

Okay, so we're not looking for specifics, we're just looking at changes to our normal.

Speaker 2: 13:08

Yeah, yeah, exactly Like I was able to go to my primary care doctor and bring in like over a year's worth of data and I'm like, okay, based on the last time, she doesn't know who she's dealing with, but like over the last 14 months, my cycles have ranged from 16 days to 45. Wow, she's like, oh yeah, so that sounds like perimenopause. I'm like, yes, I know, but I just wanted to give you that data, right, like it's so collecting that information. Other things that women will experience are night sweats or hot flashes or just running hot. Sometimes it's not a hot flash, but like you just feel hot all the time or at different times.

Speaker 2: 13:53

Sleep disturbances really common, especially like mid-cycle waking like two, three AM. It's like every woman in their 40s is awake thinking about the problems of the world. Yes, we are Increased migraines or headaches as a new symptom related to like right before your period could be tender breasts, sore breasts, swollen brain fog, fatigue, new or increased depression or anxiety. And, as a mental health professional, like this can be tricky because it's like, is this your old mental health stuff coming up or has it been intensified because of hormones or is it life? Like it's really hard to untangle all of that. And then finally, body changes, right? So body changes are part of this, because hormones are shifting. Body changes can look like weight gain or just like a different weight distribution, like maybe there's not a change on the scale or even in your like size, but it's like breasts, hips, stomach, like are different, those body changes which obviously can be extremely challenging for women.

Speaker 1: 15:22

So again, we're looking not for specifics, we're just looking for changes to our own cycles, sleep habits, temperature changes, mood changes and that everything is normal. And that feels weird. To say that everything is normal, but it's. What you're going through is normal, regardless of if your mom had the same experience or your best friend had the same experience.

Speaker 2: 15:51

Yeah, everyone's experience of it is different. And then I think it's important, while we're bringing awareness to the symptoms of perimenopause, to also realize that there are certain medical conditions that these symptoms overlap with. So this is where a conversation with your doctor can be really helpful, because, instead of just saying, oh it's perimenopause, like you also want to look out for, like what vitamin deficiencies might you have, like vitamin D, b or iron, thyroid autoimmune things like that. Like don't just sweep this all under the rug. Like it's perimenopause. Also be curious about like could there be something else that we need to screen for, or is this perimenopause?

Speaker 1: 16:41

I know the answer to this question, but is there a test to say yes, you're in bring?

Speaker 2: 16:48

Oh, this is such a good question, so like yes and no. Where I want to caution you to not waste your money is there is a new test that there's a lot of advertising and some high profile people behind. You're going to see it on social media ads and it's like an at home test. I think it's a P stick that's going to tell you whether or not you're in menopause. Like you could put your cash down the toilet instead of getting that test, or you could send it to me, but it's literally like a waste of money and it's a great example of as this topic becomes more destigmatized and popular, people are doing cash grabs against women. There's also some tests that are again urine and saliva tests that are out there. I actually my last wellness stint was paying somebody thousands of dollars to get this urine and saliva test and for her to tell me what to do after that, and I now know that it was a total waste of money. So I will just warn you against that.

Speaker 2: 18:04

There are some blood tests like your FSH, your follicle stimulating hormone that your doctor can pull. However, if you know the female cycle, your hormones, when you're cycling, normally literally change every single day. That's part of a normal female cycle. So then add on top of that perimenopause hormones which change even more every day because you're literally on a hormonal roller coaster. So you can take blood and that's a snapshot of what's going on in your body in that exact moment. But it doesn't give us your 30 day cycle. But it can be a gauge. If your FSH can be around 30 in menopause, so a rising FSH can be an indication of getting closer to menopause. But again they've done studies like on perimenopausal women and pulled blood daily to look at this and like. I think there was like one day where the woman qualified on her blood test as being in perimenopause, even though she literally was in perimenopause.

Speaker 1: 19:21

So I think what I hear you saying is that, yes, there are tests, but they may not be valid and that we probably shouldn't spend our time, money, resources on them. And really I think my intention for asking that question is is it beneficial to know that we're in perimenopause versus that we have a vitamin deficiency, or are there other benefits of knowing that we're in perimenopause For sure?

Speaker 2: 19:54

Yeah, so there are menopause-trained medical professionals, and the best resource to find those medical professionals is menopauseorg and going to one of those hormone specialists. They are going to look at your symptoms. That's how we really find out if you're in perimenopause. So if people go to my website, I have a free guide that has a list of all of the all of these perimenopause symptoms. The best way for you to know is your age and then how many symptoms you're experiencing, so we don't need a fancy test.

Speaker 2: 20:37

No, please and please. Like I'm gonna write a blog about it one day, but like I wasted thousands of dollars. It's one of my biggest regrets.

Speaker 1: 20:47

That's it for this episode. Stay tuned to the next episode where we continue this conversation with Kate. She shares how she got into the perimenopause world as a coach and more on this idea of cyclical living and the four phases of our menstrual cycle. So I hope to see you there.