Play and Reflect - 30 Day Challenge, Dog Play Styles and Tips for Getting Started

This solo episode is all about PLAY! In this episode I cover:

• Play and Reflect 30 day challenge - more on this here! 
• Our play journey
• Getting started with play
• Windows of Opportunity 
• 6 play styles 
• Helpful tips 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:13

What's up everybody and welcome to the podcast Dog Mom Motality, where we strive to play with dogs and not emotions. I am your virtual bestie, caroline, and I have my furry friend here, leila, and we are going to give you a break from your day to talk about all things dogs and emotional well-being. If you have ever been emotionally affected by your dog, then this is the podcast for you. Oh my gosh, guys, hello, hello, hello. How the actual freak is it June already? I can't believe it. I'm happy that we're here. I guess it's actually not the halfway mark yet and the year will have all of June and then July will be like the official start of the halfway mark for the whole year of 2023, which is really, really wild. So I can't believe that we're like at summertime. I mean, i can't believe it because it's freaking hot here, but I just feel like the first couple months just went by so quickly. I can't believe that we're already this far into the year. So there's still a lot of time. There's so many things to be done, joy to be had, so I'm excited. I'm excited because it's warmer out and I love doing our morning play sessions with Leila and this whole episode is actually going to be centered around the topic of play. So if you haven't seen already where, once this comes out, it'll be, i think, like a week in to the play and reflect challenge. So if you haven't seen that yet, you can go to my post from June 1st to get you know all the details kind of in one place.

Speaker 1: 2:09

But Hailey from Paul's and Reflect and I are hosting a 30 day play and reflect challenge And really the whole idea is to get people playing with their dog, to encourage people to share about playing with their dog, to try new things, to be more intentional about it and really just to like make that a priority over the next 30 days and see what happens. Well, i guess at this point it's less than 30 days, but you can start this whenever you want you can join in. It's really just like you know, kind of up to you to determine how much you're going to put in, how much you're going to share. You know you can share every day if you want. You can not share either way. I think if you come up with like a committed routine, whether it's you know you're playing every day or you're trying to play every other day, whatever works with your schedule. I would love to know, you know, just like what you see over that 30 day time span. So you know, once we get to the 30 day mark at the end of June, i'm going to definitely put a call to action out there for anybody who participated even in the smallest bit to send me a DM or an email and just kind of tell me, you know what you saw, reflecting, you know if you learned anything. So all of that fun, fun stuff.

Speaker 1: 3:37

But basically what the challenge is is just encouraging you to play every day for 30 days and then each week of June is going to have just a small mini challenge to kind of guide you. If you are new to this, new to play and I know that might sound dumb, like how can you be new to play? but for some people playing with their dog isn't something that you know might be easy. You know, maybe their dog doesn't have the typical play style like a tug or a fetch, and so to them playing with their dog might seem really hard because their dog just doesn't seem interested. Or if you're like me, you know whenever we started playing it was because I guess just a little back story. So if you go back and listen to like our training journey episodes or like go to the dog mom phases post on my Instagram it's one of the pinned post you'll see in there that like one of the phases was just whenever we discovered play and from I would say let's see, layla turned a year in October yeah, october 30th of 2020 and that was kind of like our breaking point was right around her her year birthday, her first birthday and that's whenever we were at our lowest, like we weren't really doing a whole lot of training, like it just was like chaotic and overwhelming and I didn't know what to do because of all of the challenges that she had with her fear, reactivity, and we weren't able to walk off of off of our street and she was like scared to go outside sometimes and we just felt really limited and limited in that way.

Speaker 1: 5:33

But then also during that time, her crate aggression was happening and so that was probably the like really, really hard part for me because I just felt very trapped. So in November of 2020, i, you know, really just try to take the the bull by the horns. Is that? is that the same? I try to take the bull by the horns and start training her, and so I worked with a trainer.

Speaker 1: 5:59

It was in 2020, so I worked with a trainer virtually, and that's when you know, i was really focused on like structure and obedience and setting boundaries with her and we. It was just like a very like strict schedule and it was all functional no play, no fun, like if it wasn't it just like getting us closer to fixing the problems. Then I didn't want to do it and really at the time, a lot of the trainers that I followed were all about play, heal, structure, structured walks, the place command, creating a little bit of like desensitization but it was really just about like creating this like structure and, if you know, i really felt like at that time, looking back on it, layla didn't have like a lot of choice or like a lot of time on her own to make good decisions, basically because everything was chosen for her. She was on her place command and then she was doing this and then we were going for a walk and then she was eating and then we were training. You know, it was very like by the book time scheduled, super, super structured, and we made some progress during that time period. I felt like at that time I was able to kind of catch my breath, but also, at the same time, a lot of my anxiety and a lot of some of her issues, especially with the crate aggression, was still there and it probably, you know, had something to do with not addressing some of the underlying issues like biological fulfillment and connection and bonding and confidence building, and I really felt like, you know, we were at a place, but it felt very like plateau feeling, and so in early 2021, like January, february, i really started to see more people talk about play and a few different trainers pop up that were talking about play and I was introduced to Jay, jack, and I was introduced to Ivan.

Speaker 1: 8:11

I'm not even gonna try to say his last name, but it's starts with a B below. I don't even know how to say it. Guys, hold on, let me pull it up and look and make sure I say it right. Okay, i googled it and I still don't know if I'm actually gonna say it right, but it's Ivan Balabanov. I don't know if I'm actually saying that right, but he's a dog trainer and you know he talks about training his Malinois with with play a lot too. And I was also introduced to a grace from urban dog leader I think now her her Instagram handle is Urban Dog Coach.

Speaker 1: 8:51

At the time it was Urban Dog Leader and I really started to to latch on to like what they were talking about with play and what it could do, and Haley was just like a super big like advocate for play as well Haley from Paul's and Reflect and at the time I just like really admired her and I felt so inspired by her and Scout and so I was just like a little like little baby dog owner at the time and I just really wanted to do anything that I could to help Layla. But up until that point, up until you know, kind of being introduced to some of this, i just didn't have the knowledge of what play could do and how. You know it could help with emotional regulation and confidence building and bonding and even with obedience, like impulse control. That was something that I worked on a lot with Layla, but I could never get it like like I could get it to a certain point, but then whenever it came to like out in the wild, like with squirrels or bunnies, i always felt like what we were doing just inside the house with like food just wasn't enough. You know play could also help with just. I think I think I might have already said this, but you know, just the confidence building that she got out of that was just wild, her curiosity, you know she started to be so much more confident in different areas and then really it was just kind of this like the thing that I needed to for us to get over the plateau that we were at and I didn't realize that I needed it until I didn't realize, realize that we needed it, until I started to have this knowledge. So that was in like early 2021.

Speaker 1: 10:41

And then Haley and Urban Dog leader or Urban Dog coaches what is what her handle is now Grace, they came up with this 30 days of play challenge and it was in the month of March and so from March 1st to March 30th, it was 30 days of play. Very similar to how play and reflect challenge is set up. You know it was largely inspired by that and basically it encouraged the same thing play with your dog, learn about play, see what happens, pick a goal. You know, pick a goal and if you want to work on confidence building, emotional regulation, building your bond, impulse control and any of those things and there's so much more that play can do. That's just kind of touching the surface, but you know, just pick a goal, do it for 30 days, like, keep track of it. You know, track your, your wins, track things that you can improve on, things that you know you, as the handler might be able to improve, and see what happens.

Speaker 1: 11:46

Basically, and over that 30 days, i saw a huge, huge, huge shift in layla and myself. But, like you know, really just from a dog owners perspective, the shift that I saw in layla was outstanding. It was absolutely wild and but I was so happy about it I was like, oh my gosh, like I wish we would have done this sooner. But, like I said, i just didn't think that play was going to help us in the way that it did. I didn't find it functional and I wanted to fix our problems. But, you know, lo and behold, this is what fixed. You know a lot of our problems.

Speaker 1: 12:25

And so, over that 30 day period and you can go to my story highlight I think I have two of them because I just posted so many stories over the 30 days and it's called 30 days of play or, if you want to, you can, you know, scroll back on my Instagram page and I'm sure that I have posts that are talking about the 30 days of play as well, in March of 2021, so you'll have to scroll back a little bit over two years and during that time, you know, i just saw how she was making just so much better choices whenever she was at liberty. I really started to let loose on all of the structure that she, that I was, i was giving her. You know, i let her, you know, just have a little bit of free time to make those good decisions and she, she did. She was able to. You know, i saw her just relax so much more easily, just like a lot more calm demeanor, not as alert she wasn't barking as much demand barking or like alert barking. Her affection towards me was just skyrocketed, honestly. So prior to this, we'd never considered Layla a cuddly dog. We never thought that she would cuddle with us or you know, be that affectionate. And during that time period, i really saw her wanting to be closer to me, wanting to come to me for pets, like come to me for guidance, come to me for praise, and like that was a huge, huge, huge shift. I saw her confidence go up a lot And during that time period was whenever we were making really, really big strides to some of the more scary things that she was going through.

Speaker 1: 14:14

Scary to her, that is like walking off of our street and desensitizing to skateboards. So we used to play a lot to overcome her fear of skateboards. And I can do, you know, just like a really in depth conversation about that. If anybody's interested, feel free to message me. But you know, we made more progress in three, in 30 days, with desensitizing to skateboards and some of her bigger fears than we did the three months prior, and so it was just a really, really, really great experience and opportunity to dive in and try out this thing called play and learn so much more about it too, because play can be so much more than tugging and fetching, and so I learned a lot about that as well during this 30 days of play, because so much information was shared by Grace and Haley from Paul's and Reflect and the whole community that was doing this, this challenge, this 30 days of play challenge.

Speaker 1: 15:18

So, beyond all of the things that I really saw come out with Layla during this 30 days, i also just had such a mindset shift for myself. I was able to really start letting loose and have more fun with with Layla, actually have like enjoyment instead of always just trying to make everything like perfect and really pressure filled. And this was still at the very beginning of our journey. But like I'm so, so, so glad that it came at this timing because it really set us up for success. And you know, i just utilized play so much more after this to overcome so many challenges and fears with Layla And I really think that like it made it just a lot easier for us and kind of fast tracked some of the things that that we did. You know that we could have done with with food or you know, desensitizing with, with with food, i guess, and you know other ways of like training, but like play just made it. It just made it click for us.

Speaker 1: 16:25

And ever since play has been something that I try to do with Layla, at least for five minutes every day, if not longer. But you know, layla is such a playful pup. It's kind of like once we unlocked that, her playful side just is always coming out. So it's not easy or it is easy to to play with her every day. It's not easy to not play with her every day. She just kind of brings that energy now And I'm so, so, so grateful for it. But really, you know, a lot of the kind of knowledge that I have about play started from that 30 days of play challenge And so the rest of this episode I really want to go into some of the play fundamentals that I like got as an owner during that time and that I've learned about ever since, to share those with you and just kind of give you that knowledge so that you yourself can implement some of these things as well and learn a little bit more about play and then, hopefully, you know, be able to go out, do the the play and reflect challenge and learn more about play, learn more about your dog, learn more about yourself and all of the amazing, amazing things that can come with it.

Speaker 1: 17:42

So the rest of this episode is really going to be like my own personal spark notes of playing with your dog. Basically, i'm going to go over the different types of play. I'm going to go over what windows of opportunity are, because you may hear that throughout the month. I'm just going to go over some, some tips and tricks and how to start off play if, if your dog doesn't seem like the playful kind.

Speaker 1: 18:08

One of the most frequently asked questions that you know I've always got, but especially over the past week since this play challenge started and I started talking about it, was how do you get a dog to play who has no play drive, no toy drive and, you know, maybe is fearful or just, you know, doesn't seem very playful? and to start off and this is honestly for every dog, whether they're, you know, kind of energetic or they're shy, or they're shy or they're outgoing, whatever dog it is, you want to create a safe space to start playing. And if you think about that with humans, you know we're not going to break out of our shell. Be goofy, be silly, be playful, really let our full expression if we don't feel safe. And that's the same with, honestly, probably any animal. But I do know that to be true with dogs, from what I've seen with Leila and other dogs, is that they're not going to play if they don't feel safe.

Speaker 1: 19:14

And so if you have a dog that isn't, you know, into play, doesn't have a quote, unquote, play drive. You want to make sure that you start out in a safe place. So this is probably going to be your house or your backyard, some place that they are, you know, familiar with, very familiar with, and someplace that they're obviously, obviously, isn't you know anything to distract them or anything that's going to cause a fear reaction. So you don't want to start playing out in your street where skateboards are going to pass by and cars are going to pass by and you know somebody yells an alarm or starts and somebody's cutting down a tree. Like you don't want to start playing out there until your dog's ready, right ready, for you know these distractions to come up, and so you want to start playing in a safe environment And, honestly, even once you do get to the point that you want to play out in new environments, you know, at a new location around distractions you know, use it for desensitizing, like we did with a skateboard, you still want to ask yourself before you go into it have I made this a safe space for my dog and for myself?

Speaker 1: 20:30

because you yourself want, you know you want to fully express yourself and be playful with your dog during this time period when you're playing during the session, they will know if you aren't putting in 100%, at least Layla does like Layla knows. If I'm not really into play, her energy will shift And so they will know if if you're not fully expressing yourself and being fully playful either. So you want to create a safe space both, you know, mainly for your dog, but but for yourself as well, so that you can be goofy, funny, silly, maybe even a little embarrassing if you're out in public and you know you're down on the ground rolling it in the grass with your dog right. So create a safe space for for your dog, for yourself, whenever you're going to be playing. And I love this topic of safety.

Speaker 1: 21:24

It's something that's been coming up a lot for me recently, not only in play, but just a lot of other areas of my life, and I've been talking about it and thinking about it in the sense of energies, so masculine and feminine energy. And whenever you think about being playful you really think about the feminine energy, the embodiment, the like, nurturing the playful, the creative side of things. But to get to that place you have to use some of your masculine energy to actually build that safe spot right. So even if I'm thinking about it with journaling, you know, sometimes whenever I go to journal, i take a moment and I get the mood right, i get myself in a good place. I go get you know some water, tea, a drink, whatever I like, probably get my blanket, i probably get my journal, my favorite pen, and I kind of get myself in this right headspace before I actually start doing the journaling.

Speaker 1: 22:26

Letting things out, letting things flow, and that process of setting up is more of the masculine energy. And then the actual like creativity, flowing, journaling part is the more feminine energy. And ever since I kind of started thinking about it in that way, i've really applied it whenever we go to play as well, and it's just, you know, something to be aware of, like, okay, i am about to start this play session with Laila. I'm going to get my toy ready. What kind of mood am I in? what kind of mood is she in, you know? does she want to fight and tug? does she want to chase? do we want to do something a little bit simpler and a little less energetic? you know, maybe do like a food search And so kind of like doing all of that preparation is the more masculine energy, and then the actual play is the more feminine energy.

Speaker 1: 23:16

So just something to be aware of whenever you're creating this safe space to let all of this energy out, and then, once you get on to you know adding in distractions or playing in a new environment, you're still going to want to create that aspect for yourself. You know, if you're playing at a park and there are people around there's dogs around, skateboarders, whatever you know you're going to think, okay, what can I do to make this safe space so we can see if Laila, see if your dog I'm thinking about Laila because of what we've done in the past see if my dog will play here. You know you're probably going to leash them up. You're going to determine what distance, away from all of these distractions, do we want to start? you know, can I start off really simple and then work our way up to more intense play? So all of that kind of preparation is building that safe space for your dog And I think it's a really beautiful way to think about it, to think about setting up the play session for your dog.

Speaker 1: 24:22

So another thing whenever it comes to these play sessions that you might hear, i'm not going to say you know this is mandatory or you know you have to do it this way, but you will hear of people and trainers and some owners talk about windows of opportunity. So if you've ever watched one of my play videos or one of Haley's play videos, you will see us say ready, just like real excited, ready, and that is our play cue. It opens up the window for play, it opens up the window for excitement. You know, eventually, once you've, you know, really ingrained this in them, like it could become a recall I've utilized ready as a recall before you know and the reward is play, and so ready is the opening up of the play window. And this is going to be individual for each owner, each dog. But you know, once that window is open, it's kind of like an energy cue, right, so like ready, over time will eventually turn into like excitement, intensity, playfulness. Obviously right, they're going to just like be filled with joy, like they're going to be hyped up, like they're going to go hay-hum. Right, they're like Layla, just like goes absolutely nuts whenever we say ready now, and the energy is going to match the energy that you put into it in that moment.

Speaker 1: 25:59

And so, when I was saying this is going to be individual to every owner and every owner and dog, what I'm referring to is kind of what you allow during that window of play, you know, do you allow them to jump up on you. Do you allow them to? you know, bite, before you say bite, do you still do obedience during that time? Like you kind of need to start thinking about if you're going to utilize windows of opportunity or really just you know with your play sessions what you allow and what you don't allow. So for us I basically allow everything. I don't care if Layla jumps up on me, i don't care if I'm holding a toy and she tries to grab it out of my hand, unless I specifically say leave it. So you know there are things there that you can determine yourself what is off limits and what they're allowed to do. So you know it's really up to you.

Speaker 1: 27:04

And basically the cool thing about windows of opportunity is, once you start really utilizing it, you're getting into it, your dog starting to pick up what the energy means And the in the cues ready, then you can, you know, allow jumping up during that time period. But then whenever you say enough, which is the closing play session cue, basically for us, you know the energy is more calm. It's supposed to signal you know we're done, we're not playing anymore. You know, then I might not allow, after that is said, for Leila to jump up on me anymore or for Leila to grab the toy out of my hand. So it's really, you know, just the energy cues At least that's how I think about it of ready, excited, intense, playful, you know going hard, and then enough is okay, we're done, we're calm, we're, you know, cooling off, we're kind of back to normal. You know our rules are back in place of. You know you're not jumping up on me and we're not biting. You know, whatever it is, we're not trying to wrestle. So that the rules and the boundaries that you have during play is is up to you. Each dog is going to be totally, totally different, but it is something to think about. But I love the windows of opportunity and how it can really cue that energy And then you can set up specific rules during that window.

Speaker 1: 28:44

So you know, for us I really allow Leila to do just about anything, but I still do expect obedience. So if I say leave it and I throw a toy, i still expect Leila to leave it. If I ask for a heel or a middle or down recall, whatever, i still expect Leila to follow through with those commands And then you know I release her with play. So I don't personally like throwing in a ton of obedience with play just because for me this is not a Leila thing, it's definitely a me thing. I will get too critical of what we're doing, and what is supposed to be fun and enjoyable will turn into a little bit more pressure field, a little bit more like my perfectionist comes out. I, you know, will start critiquing things and judging things that we're doing. And so I personally don't like to do a lot of obedience whenever we're playing because I don't want my like anxiety or my judgment to come out and ruin the mood and ruin the energy for her when this is just supposed to be about connection for us and play and confidence building. And you know it's not a time where I'm looking to really make her commands crisp. It's more of a time that I just want to have some some energy released with her to fulfill her, to fulfill me, to bond, to connect, build her confidence. And so you know how you utilize play and what you do during that time period is totally up to you. This is just, personally what has worked for us so far. So just to kind of recap with what Windows of Opportunity is, is ready, is like the signal for let's go, we're playing, we're excited, we're energetic, and then enough is like the cool down. You know we're done playing, we're, we're, you know, kind of back to doing our own thing. Now we're calm, that kind of energy. And if you want to look up more around this, then it's. You can look up Jay Jack. Just Google Jay Jack, windows of Opportunity and it will come up. Haley from Paul's and Reflect also has some really, really great posts and blog posts about this. So you can either go to her blog or on her Instagram. She has a guide. That is all about the Windows of Opportunity.

Speaker 1: 31:22

Next, i want to dive into the different play styles. So there's six different play styles and they really just mimic a hunt. They really just mimic like your dog, hunting for something It's. You know the different aspects of a hunt And you can really think of play as like your dog, just performing these hunting skills just for the thrill of it. So their livelihood doesn't depend on it, their food, their survival does not depend on this hunt. It's just for fun, it's just for the thrill of it. And so the six different types of play are searching, stalking, chasing, fighting, consuming and celebrating. And if you think about it. That is the order of what a hunt would be. So if you're thinking, my mind just goes to a lion If you're thinking about a lion and they are trying to find their food, these are some of the things that they're going to do in order to get that and how it's going to look like for them and their pack.

Speaker 1: 32:35

And so all of these different aspects of play look different, obviously, and some dogs are going to be more skilled at, you know, searching than they are with chasing, for instance, and that can really be, you know, breed dependent. It could be, you know, what your dog likes. A really good way to tell is just to see you know what kind of genetics your dog has. So like, layla's a herding breed And so like, of course, she's going to love to chase, because that's what herding dogs do. You know. If you have a hound, then they're probably really going to like the search part of the, the chase or the hunt. They're probably really going to like the search part of the hunt. If you have a pointer, then they're probably really going to like the stalk. They're going to love that stalking part. The, the watching, the going slow, moving really steady before they pounce They're going to love that part of of the hunt, of the play, of the game, and so that's just one place to kind of start, you know, looking at it.

Speaker 1: 33:47

But then also, like you know, layla, even though she's not a hound and she's, you know, not really into like scent work or anything like that, she still loves the, the searching part of of play. So you know, every once in a while I will do the food scatter or I'll hide food around our house And that's a form of play to her. And I will also get into how to involve yourself more and into these types of play because obviously, like chase which fetch is like chase or tug you are, as the owner, very much involved with that. But I'll get into how to involve yourself a little bit more into some of the I don't want to say non-traditional but lesser known about play styles like the consuming, the search, the stalk, the celebrating, which really I think we all celebrate, we all know how to do that And so it's not a matter of we don't know how to celebrate, it's more about just taking the time to celebrate. So I will get into that.

Speaker 1: 34:53

So I've kind of talked about you know what these play styles are how to you know, maybe start off and look into one based on your dog's genetics. But I really think it's really important to try out all of the different play styles to see if your dog likes one that you might not have thought. You know, i never really thought that Layla would love the searching part, but she does. It's probably not her favorite, you know. Chase and Tug are definitely the Chase and fight are definitely her favorite, but she still loves doing a food search every once in a while. She loves whenever I hide her toys and she has to go find them. She love, love, loves that. And so you know, even if you don't think your dog is going to like one thing or the other, it's still worth trying.

Speaker 1: 35:43

So I will give examples of what each play style looks like, how to do it with your dog, how to start off, what to try. Just you know, some creative examples. Basically, the first one is search And it's probably Layla's I don't know probably third favorite, and we typically have search and consume together. I would say half to 75% of the time that search is involved. Consume is also involved because I utilize food during that time And so for searching, this is going to be hiding food around your house for your dog to sniff out and find.

Speaker 1: 36:33

It's going to be, you know some of the enrichment activities, like a snuffle mat that could be. You know, a little bit of search you could go hide that and then have them go find it. Do the snuffle mat. That's going to be, you know, a form of play. This is also going to be hiding a toy. So typically I will let Layla sniff the toy and then I'll put her in like a stay, a down stay. I'll go hide the toy, release her and then we go on this hunt together to find the toy. And I really love to play with the levels whenever I use toys, so sometimes I'll like put it in a bush. I'll put it up a little bit higher. I'll sometimes put it hanging off of a limb of a tree, and so it's not. You know, always I site for her, i really make her work for it sometimes. But it's so fun and whenever she finds it she's always so proud and super excited And it's just, it's such a cute little thing to see. Her tail just goes absolutely nuts. So searching is definitely going to be, you know just like what it sounds is. You know, hiding food, hiding a toy, going on that search for it, and whenever you do this, you know I always love to follow Layla behind her. You know, encourage her, be like good job, you're doing it, you're almost there, just kind of give her like a lot of praise during this time And you know I won't necessarily help her. But if there it does get to a point that she stops and I know that there's still a pile of food left somewhere, then I'll kind of go and like hit around to it where it might be. But really to involve yourself with this one it's going to be, you know, walking around with them, seeing what they do, seeing how they interact, and then you know, maybe providing some encouragement or some help if they're needing it.

Speaker 1: 38:35

The next type of play is stalking, and so a lot of dogs, like pointers, do some retrievers stalk, maybe some retrievers might stalk. I know border collies will stalk sometimes Some of the herding breeds. Layla is not really a big stalker, she's more of the just chase, go, get the thing. But how we utilize stalking is really by me, stalking, and so I will, you know, walk really slowly up to Layla. I'll come up from behind her, i'll build the intensity And typically for us this leads into, you know, this really big game of chase. So this one's very much involved for me because I'm doing the actual stalking to her. She I honestly don't know if I've ever seen Layla stalk a toy food. She will stalk animals, sometimes like a rabbit or a squirrel, but it's not, it's not super drawn out, and so stalking for us is really more about me stalking her versus her stalking me, her doing the stalking. So I would love to hear from somebody whose dog does stalk and how they utilize that, how they, you know, utilize that in play, how their dog interacts, what the human does during that time. I would love to hear a little bit more about that from somebody, just because I don't have as much personal experience, since Layla herself does not do a lot of stalking.

Speaker 1: 40:16

Okay, the next one is Layla's favorite, which is Chase. So Fetch can be considered Chase. They're chasing the ball, they're chasing the Frisbee. You know you could also do Chase like you're chasing them, they're chasing you. A really fun one is utilizing a flirt pole. So that involves a lot of Chase And really this one I feel like is you know this one and like in fighting, is pretty self-explanatory on what it looks like.

Speaker 1: 40:49

The chasing and fighting are the ones that people typically go to, the ones that people typically know of, and you know it kind of is like what people tried to mold their dogs into, which is, you know, the Chase, the Fetch, the fighting, the tug type of thing. But, like we all know, not every dog is going to respond the same or find interest in that, and so that's why it's really good to know all of the different play styles, but definitely Chase and fighting. Those are the ones that people try to get their dog to fit the mold to, and if they're not interested in Fetch or tug, then their dog, you know, they typically say you know, my dog's not playful, they don't have any play drive And you might just need to explore some of these other options and then get into a Chase or a tug, but really build that up in other areas first. So Chase is, you know, pretty self-explanatory. It's Fetch, it's chasing you, it's chasing them, chasing a toy, you know anything like that. And then the next part is, or the next play style is, fighting, and so this is going to be your tug, this is going to be your wrestling, you know, if you allow your dog to jump on you, that's you know form a fighting. If you allow your dog to, i'm going to say mouth you. So I know some people will allow their dog to mouth their arm, or I don't want to say like biting, but you know, if you watch dogs play, they use their mouth right, and so like that is, you know, a form of fighting. And so you know I guess I should go back a little bit and say I don't allow Layla to put her mouth on me, actually during during play. That's I guess the one rule that I have while we're in this, the play session. I don't like her to put her mouth on me, but I know some people do, and if you watch other dogs then they use their mouth And so that is a form of fighting. And so you know fight you can do it with tug, you can do it with with a toy. In between you could do personal play. This is going to be some wrestling. You could utilize food while fighting.

Speaker 1: 43:22

So if your dog is a little bit more food motivated, you can have food in your hand. And you know, whenever I do it I kind of look like Karate, almost. Like you know, i'll have food in my hand, layla will kind of go for it And I'll block her with my arm or my leg or I'll, you know, turn around, kind of like that blocking aspect. That's a little bit of fighting. I probably didn't like it create the best visual around that, but I do have some videos of us play fighting with food And I'll just basically be holding some treats in my hand or some kibble in my hand And you know I'll kind of lure her with the food, she'll go for it and I'll block her with my arm And then I'll go the other way and she'll just kind of come, try to come for it, and I'll block her with my leg or I'll turn around And you know, eventually I, you know, drop the food And that's kind of like her release to actually get the food.

Speaker 1: 44:21

So you know this, if you're going to involve food at any time, you know it's always really important to remember or assess if your dog, you know, is as a resource garter I don't have to worry about that with Layla, thankfully, knock on wood. But you know there are people who whose dog don't, you know, like for other people to be touching their food. They feel protective over that. And so you know, before you try some of these, just take a moment to like, assess if that's going to be the right thing for you to do to utilize food throughout your play. And then the next part or the next sequence of play is consuming. And so this is a fun one And, like I said earlier, so typically whenever we do search, consume is also right there with it. Just because I'll hide food and then she'll find the food and obviously consume it, she'll obviously eat it And so consuming you can think about they're going to consume food.

Speaker 1: 45:30

Or I was doing a really fun thing this morning where I wrapped up some food in a towel, just like a really old towel, and I kind of tied it in knots And I put her in a downstairs upstairs, i hid it downstairs, she had to go search for this. She found it And then she was trying to get to the food. But where it was in the towel was a knot. She really had to like tear apart the towel a little bit, which was totally fine, i mean, i knew what she was going to do It was an old towel anyways But she had to really tear through the towel to get to the food, and so that's consuming a little bit of the actual ripping, the shredding, the digging That's going to be. That's going to be some consuming This. If you're thinking about it in the term of the hunt, this is going to be tearing some of the flesh off to get to the meat right, and so it's going to be this tearing up aspect before they get to the good stuff.

Speaker 1: 46:33

And so if you're using some enrichment toys, you know there's, there's a really fun thing. It's called a holy ball, but it's basically just like a ball with holes in it And you can fill it up with stuffing, you can fill it up with paper, towel whatever and also put food in there And they have to rip the stuffing out or the paper out, they have to shred it in order to get to the food, to do the consumption. So that is a style of play And you know it's really fun because you can involve tug with this a little bit as well. Where, if you're, if you're doing this with your dog again, if your dog is resource guarding of food, then you know, just kind of assess the situation before you try this. But with Leila, you know we'll hold on to the towel together that has food in it, or the, the toy that has food inside of it, and we'll, you know, shake it together and she'll go and dig for it, and then I'll try to rip some out too And I'll kind of act like I'm digging as well And I just, you know, try to get into a little bit with her, just to involve myself, show that I'm there, i give her praise, i just, you know, tell her she's doing such a good job. She's so strong, she's so determined, oh my gosh, she's so driven She's going to get that food. Oh my gosh. Yes, yes, yes, i'm so proud. Let's go, just like really hyping her up to, you know, do the consuming to get that food, to get whatever is on the inside. So that's consuming.

Speaker 1: 48:14

And then the last one is celebrating. So this could be, you know, your dog might take a victory lap. Or your dog is wanting praise, they're wanting affection, they're wanting, you know, just to be there with you, to connect, to kind of like enjoy the moment that they, just, you know, finished the hunt, and so this is just, you know, a time to celebrate, to love on them. You know this, like I said, it might be like a little bit of a victory lap for them. They literally might take a victory lap, they might get zoomies, and so it's a time for you to just like follow them. You know get zoomies as well. You know they might roll around, they might sit there and kind of just like enjoy the moment. But you know, celebrating is really just that, it's celebrating And so you know, when it comes to this time, it's just really good to just be there in the moment. It's not a time to you know you're done playing, let's get on our phone or let's, you know, see what. You know so and so is doing across the fence, whatever it is. You know just try to stay there for a moment or two to be there with your dog and really, you know, enjoy this celebration with them.

Speaker 1: 49:29

But, like I said at the beginning, you know a lot of these things really are kind of just genetically ingrained into them. I was actually just watching this show on Netflix about these people from Australia who they each got a puppy from this litter, a Kelpie puppy, and they're trying to teach it how to herd, or over there I think they call it mustering. It's a show called Mustard Dogs. It's on Netflix. Whenever one of the guys was talking. He was talking about, you know how it's just genetics for them to herd, basically to chase and to get, you know, the sheep or the cattle to come into one area. And he was talking about how you know, whenever dogs or wolves are I don't, i don't know actually if he said wolves or what, but basically, you know some of these dogs, their role in the pack was to do this herding, to get these animals together so that the leader I guess wolf, the leader wolf could come and do the consuming and to actually do like the fighting and the killing and the consuming and then share the meat or share the, the food with everyone else in the pack. But they each had their own role and you know some of these dogs, their role was to do the actual herding, the chasing, and bring that animal to the leader, which I thought was just so cool because I had never heard of that. You know, i've always heard of herding dogs. They're, they're, you know, good for cattle, they're good for sheep, they're on farms, and but I never really realized that this all started without the human need, right, it was just instinctual for these dogs to to chase and to herd and to bring that food back to the rest of the pack. I thought that was so freaking cool And, you know, it really makes a lot of sense whenever you think about it And you get into a little bit more of the like biological part of it.

Speaker 1: 51:54

Okay, so we've talked about how to start play. We've talked about the different play styles. We've talked about windows of opportunity. The last thing I want to do is just give some some helpful tips when you are playing, especially during the summertime. So one is just going to be to listen to your dog, listen to your body, watch for their cues.

Speaker 1: 52:18

If you're doing this during the summer, they're going to want to take breaks, they're going to want to have water, and so you might be really into play, but you notice that your dog keeps going and laying down. It's not that they're, it's not that they don't want to play with you, it's just that they need a break. This is something that I got myself caught up in a ton, and so I really had to remind myself that Layla is going to want to take breaks. So it's nothing against you as the owner, it's just that they legitimately need a break. And so if you ever see me say we had a 20 minute play session. What that actually means is that we probably played for like three or four minutes, maybe five, and then we took a break for a minute or two And then we did the same thing, played for for three to five minutes, maybe, take a three minute break And we just kind of repeat this process. The thing about doing that is, whenever you take a break, once you see that they're ready, you want to reengage them back and play with the same energy that you brought at the beginning. So just have water handy, have a blanket handy that you can set on, and just know that they're going to want to take breaks And you need to take a break too. Take some water breaks at some points, guys. I'm literally going to take a water break right now because I've been talking for 53 minutes.

Speaker 1: 53:45

Okay, the next, just a little tip is to let them win, and this sounds simple, but if you are tugging with your dog for a minute straight, you want to let them win at some point, or else they will start to feel defeated, because they maybe don't feel strong enough to actually pull the tug away from you. They're not able to complete some of the the rest of the sequence of the hunt, of the play session. So after they tug, you know, for Leila, she likes to run around, do a little victory lap. She likes to shake it, she likes to, you know, sit there with it, it's her toy, she won it. But you have to let them win in order for them to get to that place, so you can be the judge of this. But if you're just starting off with play, especially with like the tug and fighting, you want to let them win frequently, frequently. I'm talking about like, if you're just starting, maybe even every like five seconds, let them win. I mean, let them work for it, right, don't let it be just like you hand it to them. But if they're giving a good tug, a good yank, let them win. That's just such an important thing And that's what's really going to boost their confidence during this.

Speaker 1: 55:16

The next thing is just follow their lead. You know, a lot of times with Leila, the thing that gets us, that kind of disengages us from play, is not being on the same page, and I'm really doing this for her. So if I am just like not in the mood to run around and I kind of just want to stay stationary, i will want to do fetch with her So I don't really have to move as much. She's really the one like bringing the toy back to me. But Leila wants to tug and she wants me to chase her. And that's when our energy is off, that's when we kind of get out of sync. And so I've learned to really listen to her, kind of follow her lead, and so if she wants to tug, we tug. If she wants to chase, i chase her. If she wants to shake the toy, then I let her shake the toy right. So I really have just gotten into such a good habit of watching what she does and how she's interacting with the toy or with the session, with the environment, and kind of go from there And when you're doing this, you're going to learn so much about your dog.

Speaker 1: 56:29

You're just going to learn, you know kind of how they interact, that you're going to learn more about their body language And just just watch them, be aware, and just I just want to bring it into your awareness to follow their lead during this, because you're you're doing this for them. I mean, you're doing it for both of you, but you want them to get the most out of it as possible, and so you want to follow their lead and really watch. You know what they want to do and what they want to be engaged with, how they want to engage with you. Really. The next little tip that I have is just to have a leash on your dog And if you're playing inside or you're playing in your backyard you know there are still times that I have a leash on Layla because if she gets distracted, i'm able to use, you know, that little bit of like leash pressure to bring her back into me, to reengage with me. It's really good just to you know, if they're very easily distracted or they, you know, don't you're still pretty new to play and they aren't used to playing for you know, a longer period of time or like maybe after a break, to get them reengaged with you, it's really great to have that leash on them. I mean, obviously, like if you're in a field, follow leash laws, like you're going to have a leash on them anyways.

Speaker 1: 57:54

But, for instance, we were just in our backyard yesterday or the day before and I brought the dog I'm dog sitting over and he was inside, layla was outside. I wanted to play with her, kind of like, let some energy out, because this new little tiny dog was in our house And at first I didn't have a leash on Layla because we were just in our backyard and she kept wanting to go back to the window, look inside, bark through the window, was getting really frustrated And so I decided, okay, i'm going to put a leash on her, i'm just going to make sure that she stays in the backyard with me, she's not going up to the window, she's not barking, she's not fixating. And you know, i just really utilized just the slightest bit of that guidance and that leash pressure just to keep her in there with me. And eventually what I started doing is I just started running around and I was holding the leash and she was kind of following me, kind of following me, and you know we were going back and forth and then eventually it felt like forever in the moment But eventually she engaged with me and play and got really really into it. But it took some of that guidance from the leash to get her to engage with me or re-engage with me, because she was kind of on and off, but really I was able to guide her in that way with the leash And so even if you're inside, it can be just like a really great way to keep your dog in that area with you while you're building up some of that play drive.

Speaker 1: 59:34

The last thing that I'm going to touch on before I wrap up is just that with everything else in life, there's going to be ups and downs. During this, you, as the owner, are going to have to persevere, especially if your dog doesn't have a lot of play drive right now or you're kind of just getting started with play. You're going to have to have a lot of perseverance. You're going to have to have a lot of patience. You're going to have to have a lot of creativity, especially if your dog isn't into a fetch tug, those kind of molds that I talked about at first. You're going to have to get creative right. You're going to have to step out of your comfort zone. You're going to have to be goofy. You're going to have to be silly. You're going to have to engage them and get used to that. Get used to that feeling of just being a total wacko for a second while playing with your dog. But really, kind of going back to the ups and downs, there's going to be times where you try to engage your dog and play and they're not ready, they're not wanting to. They get distracted, they are disengaged. Something comes up, they get fearful, whatever it is. There's going to be moments like that. I've had plenty. Me and Layla have had plenty.

Speaker 1: 1:00:58

I remember during the 30 days of play challenge in 2021, there's a story. If you go through the highlight, there's a story. I think it's probably about maybe midway through. I just get on there and I'm like, well, our play session was 30 seconds. It was 30 seconds. That's all I could get out of Layla today. I just remember being upset and pissed and discouraged about it. I was like what the actual fuck? I just was so upset. What had happened was I had tried to get Layla to play in a little bit of a new area. I said ready, because we had really started to build that up. She turned around, she got super excited, she went to grab the ball and then there was a noise. She immediately stopped and looked at the noise and got distracted and got really fearful and totally disengaged from me. It was just a very fearful, reactive moment for her. I just remember being just so discouraged in that moment. This is really just goes to say that you're going to have still ups and downs, especially as you're really building up this play drive and you're experimenting and you're trying new things and you're going into different environments and different situations to see how you can utilize play.

Speaker 1: 1:02:35

Even yesterday or two days ago, whenever I brought Sunny home and Layla was out in the yard and I had to put the leash on her and it seemed like forever, i was like, oh my gosh, i guess Layla is just not going to play while Sunny is here. I guess she's going to be too distracted. I really just had to keep going. In that moment It felt like forever. It was really just about five minutes before she actually would play and was engaged with me enough to play. It felt like forever.

Speaker 1: 1:03:11

I could have easily just given up and been like I guess she's not going to play while Sunny is here. I guess this is a fail. I guess our play isn't as strong as it could be. I could have easily went into that mindset, but I just thought to myself I just have to keep trying, i have to keep trying and eventually it happens. Even two years in, we're still working on play in different environments and in different situations. I'm sure if you talk to other owners who utilize play heavily in their training and with their dog, they'll say the exact same thing. Even though I really sing praises to play and what it can do, just know that there are ups and downs throughout it as well.

Speaker 1: 1:03:59

Really, whenever you're starting this off, if you're trying out new styles of play, especially in seeing what your dog likes and dislikes you need to just take those moments where they're not as engaged in it as data points and to learn from it. Instead of looking at it as discouragement, look at it as a data point and be like okay, my dog actually wasn't super engaged with searching. Now I know that they don't really like that as much. We'll try a new style of play tomorrow, or we'll try to set it up in a different way, or we'll try it in a different setting. We'll try it maybe after a walk or after they've gotten some energy out. Whatever the case is, just look at those moments as data points and something to learn from instead of discouragement. Lastly, just to really bang this into everybody's head, but play is going to look different for every dog If your dog doesn't fit the typical mold, the norm of chase, which typically people do, fetch or fighting, which people typically do tug. It's okay if your dog doesn't fit into that.

Speaker 1: 1:05:23

I have a friend and she went to a workshop, seminar type of thing, and the Ivan was it with Ivan? Yeah, i think it was with Ivan. They were talking about how Ivan thought that their dog's favorite play style and what really gets him going is stalking and doing these playbows. It was just so funny and she even made a comment on one of my posts and was like, yeah, last year or the year before, i just was constantly waving a toy around in the air trying to get my dog to play with me. She just was awkward and I couldn't really figure it out. Then she was learning about all the different play styles and trying different things and went to this workshop. Now she's really utilizing these playbows and this stalking behavior with her dog. That's how she utilizes play and to connect with her dog. Play is just going to look different for every dog. As with any type of training or really anything in life, we're all at a different pace and we're all at a different place.

Speaker 1: 1:06:44

It's really important to remember. I know that a comparison can lead into a lot of discouragement whenever you're starting something new or trying out something different, but really just at the end of the day, this is just for fun. It's to connect with your dog. You can do so many things with play, but at the core of it it's really just to have fun and play and have some way to connect with your dog. Take any kind of I don't want to say advice, but if you see somebody else playing with their dog and you feel discouraged because your dog doesn't play that way, just take that moment with a grain of salt. Try not to judge yourself, try not to judge your dog, and I think really having this knowledge about all of the different play styles and how things work can really just empower you and help you and so you can try new things, you can get creative, you can learn a little bit more and hopefully utilize that with your dog. So I really hope throughout this whole journey if you're just starting or if you're in the middle of it, or if you're two, three years in, whatever that you don't take this as an opportunity to compare yourself and to have judgment from others or from yourself. I just really take it as an opportunity to connect with your dog, learn a little bit more and simply have fun.

Speaker 1: 1:08:13

I believe this goes into everything that I wanted to say about play. Oh my gosh, like I said at the beginning, this is really just like my spark notes for play. If you want more content around play, i have a guide that's called. Well, i have two guides that's called play. It's just all of my play posts in one area. So there's a play guide one and a play guide two, i think. On my Instagram I just have two of them, because you can only put 30 posts in one guide. So you can check out those guides and then in my stories highlight, there is a 30 days of play highlight. There's, i think, just a normal play highlight.

Speaker 1: 1:08:58

I have the play and reflect highlight and then you can also go to Haley's page, pause and reflect. I will link that here in the show notes. She has some really great blogs, some really great posts about play, and then also just check out the trainers that I mentioned throughout this. So you can check out Urban Dog Coach, grace. Urban Dog Coach is her handle on Instagram and she's in the, i believe, San Diego area, san Diego, california. You can also check out Jay Jack, ivan Blah, gosh Blah, damn it. Okay, ivan Blah, but not guys. I did not say that right, i'm so sorry. You know there's tons of trainers out there that are starting to talk more about play, but those are really the main ones out there. Tons of resources.

Speaker 1: 1:09:59

If you have any questions, i'm always here to try to answer them for you and point you in the right direction and then just to really wrap everything up, i encourage you to join in on the play and reflect challenge for the rest of this month. You can do it as much as you want. You can share it as much as you want. If you don't feel comfortable sharing it to your stories or on your feed or publicly, you can always just like, send me a DM, share what you did today with your dog. I would absolutely love that. Just to like get a voice note or a video of what you did with your dog and message of what you did.

Speaker 1: 1:10:40

But really the whole point and goal of this play and reflect challenge is to encourage play, encourage you to be a little bit more present and aware and set an intention before you go into play and then reflect on it after. Take a moment to say how beautiful that was, how great it was, how good it felt to connect with your dog, things that you noticed that you've never noticed before proud moments. Maybe you were utilizing play to desensitize to a skateboard which is something that we did And you think about how that happened, what worked, what didn't work. Maybe you accidentally stepped on the skateboard and that freaked your dog out. That happened to me plenty of times, and so I made a little mental note after the fact of like, okay, next time I'm gonna try to not step on the skateboard until Layla's ready for that.

Speaker 1: 1:11:37

Really, just take a moment to literally reflect on your play session and what happened and then just get more intentional about it. So often people say, yeah, i'm playing with my dog and they're on their phone in one hand checking Instagram and TikTok and Facebook and throwing the ball with the other, or they half ass tug with their dog while they're also watching TV And, yeah, they might be playing with their dog, but they're not truly present in the moment. So we're really just encouraging people to be more intentional about the play, reflect on it, take a moment to let the joy and the fulfillment and the connection that you just had with your dog really, really sink in, really feel that, and then just to see what changes over the course of the 30 days or however long you play with your dog. You can extend this challenge. You could start this challenge maybe midway through and, instead of starting on June 1st, maybe you start June 15th and you go from June 15th to July 15th. Whatever it is, you could do this at any time and utilize these tools and tips at any time, but during this challenge, we're here to support you. We're here to have a community, we're here to cheer on each other, encourage each other, and so I really, really hope that you join in on this challenge. I can't wait to hear about what happens for you and your dogs during this time. And with that I am going to wrap up.

Speaker 1: 1:13:11

Feel free to DM me after your great play session. If you have any questions. Feel free to message me on Instagram, send me a voice note, whatever it is. I'm so excited to hear from you and connect with you. I hope you got just so much knowledge out of this episode.

Speaker 1: 1:13:29

I feel like it was really just informative and packed with lots of good tidbits, tips, tricks, etc. And so, if you found this episode helpful, i would really really appreciate a rating and a review. Share it to your story, share it to your friend that might be getting into play, share it to a fellow dog owner some a first time dog owner? that would be the perfect person to share this with. But I really hope that this episode just made a really big impact on you and that you're able to go try something new with your dog, get creative. I hope you have the motivation now to get out there and go be silly and goofy and playful with your dog, and so I'm gonna leave it at that And I hope you get the chance to play with your dog today, and I'll see you guys next time. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.