00;00;05;07 - 00;00;18;22
Speaker 1
Hours after my friend Owen was last seen coming home from work to his house in central Massachusetts one fall evening in 2018, his car would be heard driving off in the middle of the night.

00;00;18;24 - 00;00;39;14
Speaker 1
Two weeks later, it would be discovered abandoned several hours away in the woods of southern Vermont, not far from a state park trailhead. Owen hasn't been seen or heard from since.

00;00;39;16 - 00;01;02;07
Speaker 1
Because he'd been a professional outdoor guide. People first thought that maybe one had gone camping without telling friends or family, and had an unfortunate accident that ended up costing him his life. However, police soon determined his car to have been parked here for 24 hours or less before he was found, and because it was somewhat close to a known drug trafficking highway.

00;01;02;09 - 00;01;38;10
Speaker 1
It fueled their belief that Owen had been the victim of a drug related crime. They suggested he'd likely died soon after disappearing his car, then abandoned by the criminals where it was found a couple of weeks later. Although I was skeptical of their explanation initially, I'd eventually come around to accepting it. Then, several months after Owen's disappearance, I found an unplayed voicemail from him on my phone and realized that he'd left it only a few weeks before being put missing.

00;01;38;12 - 00;02;10;25
Speaker 1
I came to believe that the voicemail was Owen's way of leaving me a clue to the location of what I thought would be a whistle, or a note explaining his disappearance, which is what I told Owen's neighbor. Asked to borrow Owen's spare keys. And that's how I found myself in Owen's kitchen in the middle of the night. There was a flashlight in my hand, looking down at what I was once certain would be an envelope or a scrap of paper, but wasn't.

00;02;10;27 - 00;02;46;12
Speaker 1
Instead, there were five hand labeled mini digital videotapes. These out of place little cassettes. And on them, 11 dates were written, ranging from October of 2017 through July of 2018, alongside the names of state and national parks across the country. According to the labels, the last one had taken place only a couple of months or so before Owen's disappearance.

00;02;46;14 - 00;02;59;00
Speaker 1
The tapes just struck me as bizarre at first and really just random me. Maybe because I'd been expecting something different. I was just caught off guard.

00;02;59;02 - 00;03;23;14
Speaker 1
I was relieved that at least I'd found something, but I just didn't know what to make of the tapes because they were just old looking and outdated and really just seemed out of place. I remember standing there, just looking down on the cassettes on the counter with my flashlight, trying to figure them out. First off, the idea of Owen even having a video camera just seemed a bit weird.

00;03;23;16 - 00;03;46;02
Speaker 1
He'd been a hiking guide on a corporate retreat I was on when we first met, and I remember him kind of playfully encouraging colleague of mine to stop looking through the lens of her camera all the time and experience the nature firsthand. It kind of became this joke. Certainly, he had never mentioned having a camera, and I hadn't seen any sign of one when I stayed with him before a black Angel trip.

00;03;46;05 - 00;04;16;05
Speaker 1
I even checked his house for a case or tripod or blank cassettes or something to suggest he'd had one, and I found nothing. So I did briefly wonder if maybe they weren't his, but someone else's. But then I read the names of the national parks on the labels, and I just knew they had to be Owen's. And then I remember picking up one of the tapes to get a closer look at the label and reading what I presumed to be Owen's handwriting, and how he'd written the locations and dates.

00;04;16;08 - 00;04;36;18
Speaker 1
And for whatever reason, they just looked to me like the start of diary entries, and that suddenly just gave me the idea that the tapes could maybe be a video diary of sorts that Owen had started to record while he was out on his hikes. I mean, it was just my best guess the time, given everything I'd known.

00;04;36;21 - 00;04;58;23
Speaker 1
And so there I stood in the quiet of Owen's kitchen, just trying to figure out what he could have recorded on these little outdated mini DV cassettes. And more importantly, why he'd wanted me, of all people, to find them. And then an animal or something knocked over can the driveway behind his house. And that snapped me back to the reality of my surroundings and where I was.

00;04;58;25 - 00;05;04;24
Speaker 1
And freaked me out.

00;05;04;26 - 00;05;34;15
Speaker 1
So I quickly grabbed the tapes and did a quick sweep of the house to make sure I hadn't disturbed anything, and left as quietly as possible, locking the door behind me, replacing the police tape, and just kind of leaving it just as quietly as I'd come. I remember walking back down Owen's steps and crossing the street to leave Owen's keys in his neighbor's mailbox, and thinking that hours must have passed, and then getting in the car, looking at the clock, realized that had only been like 20 30 minutes.

00;05;34;17 - 00;06;02;08
Speaker 1
And so I just had to sit there for a minute, catching my breath. You know, just trying to process the new information and all the questions that it presented. And at some point, I looked up at the moon and realized it was getting late and started the car. As I drove off down Owens Road that night, I remember thinking how odd it was that he too, had driven off in the middle of the night several months earlier in the same fashion, except he had seemingly disappeared forever.

00;06;02;10 - 00;06;13;14
Speaker 1
And there I was, hoping to somehow find an explanation as to why.

00;06;13;16 - 00;06;34;25
Speaker 1
Driving home from Owens that night, I had the five mini DV cassettes that I had left for me there on the passenger seat next to me. And occasionally I would glance down at them to remind myself that what was happening was, in fact, real. And I think even then, lacking any real clue about what was on the tapes, I just knew that they were related to his disappearance.

00;06;34;29 - 00;07;03;17
Speaker 1
I mean, it would have been too much of a weird coincidence otherwise. And that meant that the police were wrong and all hadn't been the victim of a drug related crime, as they'd suspected. And I thought he'd very likely met his fate somewhere in the Green Mountains National Park area where his car was found. And so as I drove, I became focused on the two weeks between when he was last seen and when his car was found abandoned in Vermont.

00;07;03;20 - 00;07;16;09
Speaker 1
And I think I must have glanced down at the tapes and read the park names on them, and just gotten the idea that he maybe had been to another park in the region, or maybe even more than one.

00;07;16;11 - 00;07;42;00
Speaker 1
But what still didn't make any sense was that he hadn't packed his wallet and phone were left behind, and his camping gear was untouched and most importantly, he hadn't told anyone where he was going. And so unless Owen had gotten gear elsewhere, slept in his car the entire time, he really would have been completely unprepared. Which was not the Owen I'd known.

00;07;42;02 - 00;07;51;08
Speaker 1
And that brought me back to the only explanation that could remotely explain everything I had known up to that point.

00;07;51;10 - 00;08;02;07
Speaker 1
This idea that it wasn't the Owen that I'd known, but rather he'd suffered some sort of a mental illness, or perhaps had a psychotic break or something.

00;08;02;10 - 00;08;28;28
Speaker 1
And, I mean, we'd we been out of touch the year prior to his disappearance, and I thought that a lot could have happened during that time. And according to the labels on the recordings, they'd all taken place in that year or so. So I just became increasingly convinced that they would somehow feature Owen's kind of, I don't know, descent or decline or whatever a point would be where he'd just drive off in the middle of the night and up in the woods of southern Vermont.

00;08;28;28 - 00;09;05;17
Speaker 1
Weeks later. I just remember kind of being consumed by that idea for the rest of the drive home. And so much so that it wasn't until I'd gotten home and parked my car and was getting out and reaching to grab the tapes to go inside, that I realized that I had no way to play them. Which is why, despite it being so late and having to be at work in only a few hours, I spent over an hour online looking for a store nearby that had a camcorder that would play mini DV cassettes.

00;09;05;19 - 00;09;31;08
Speaker 1
By 2018 camcorders had been recording memory cards for years and had largely been replaced by cell phones anyway. So none of the big box stores carried these old camcorders. So then I went on Craigslist and found a couple people locally that were selling their old camcorders and emailed them. And of course, it being the middle of the night, you know, wasn't expecting a response anytime soon.

00;09;31;10 - 00;10;04;03
Speaker 1
So I had to spend another night without the answers I was looking for. And I remember going to sleep that night and just thinking about the camera. You know what happened to Owen's video camera and wondering if he'd had it with him when he disappeared. And as it turns out, that would be a question that would go on to haunt me for years to come.

00;10;04;05 - 00;10;29;22
Speaker 1
I think that day is always going to stay with me for a number of reasons. I mean, I started to see the world differently from that on. Things that once mattered to me a lot just kind of became trivial, and my priorities just shifted. I guess you could say it was the loss of innocence or maybe a loss of ignorance, actually.

00;10;29;24 - 00;10;35;09
Speaker 1
But everything just kind of changed for me after that day.

00;10;35;11 - 00;11;06;12
Speaker 1
And so I find myself thinking about it a lot, just trying to remember what it was like to feel that innocence again. You know, not quite sure if it's all but for the better. But the reality is there's no going back. Because there are just some things you can't unsee.

00;11;06;15 - 00;11;35;16
Speaker 1
It was my alarm clock that shocked me awake first. But then came the actual shock of being awake and utterly exhausted. I'd only gotten a couple of hours of sleep after finding Owen's recordings the night before. So when I got up, I was just a shell of myself and it was a freezing cold and windy New England winter day outside, and I had to take a scalding hot shower just to wake up and warm up my bones.

00;11;35;19 - 00;11;48;04
Speaker 1
And of course, the coffeemaker took forever to brew a pot of coffee. And I remember just standing there like a zombie with an empty mug in my hand, just waiting for it to finish.

00;11;48;06 - 00;12;11;24
Speaker 1
Overall, I would say the day was largely miserable. It had snowed a bit the night before and then frozen over, so I had to spend time scraping my windshield off, which of course made be late for work. And when I showed up, I was exhausted and distracted, and I spent the morning trying to get in touch with the people I had emailed hours earlier who were selling their old camcorders and had no luck.

00;12;11;27 - 00;12;38;20
Speaker 1
And then finally, a couple hours later, it occurred to me to start calling local mom and pop camera stores and finally found one about 30 miles away that not only had an old mini DV plan camcorder in stock, but also had the cables to connect the camera to my TV. And that day, I also remember thinking a lot about seeing Owen's face on camera and wondering if he'd be visibly different and not the one I'd known.

00;12;38;22 - 00;13;08;20
Speaker 1
And I think I was just bracing myself to see some sort of a crazed version of Owen or something. And then after work, I, of course, got stuck in bad traffic on the way to pick up the camera. And by the time I got home that night, it was well after 9 p.m. and was just tired and hungry, and I had to shower and make myself dinner before I could really do anything else.

00;13;08;23 - 00;13;31;26
Speaker 1
And so it was pretty late when I finally got the camera connected to the TV and turned it on. Thankfully, I had already decided I was going to call in sick to work the next day, so I wasn't worried about how late it was. I poured myself a stiff drink and really just sat down, bracing myself to see Owen's face again.

00;13;31;29 - 00;13;56;17
Speaker 1
I was also hit by the guilt of not being in better touch with Owen the year before he disappeared, but I remember being sure that at the very least, the tapes would provide a clear explanation for what happened to Owen. And as it turns out, I couldn't have been more wrong.

00;13;56;19 - 00;14;15;18
Speaker 1
Without thinking, I just grabbed the closest tape, you know, took it out of its case and not really reading labels. Just put it into the camera. And I took this deep breath to just compose myself and steel myself for what I thought I was going to see.

00;14;15;21 - 00;14;46;04
Speaker 1
And then I remember hitting the play button and then sitting back and waiting and then waiting for another moment. And in another moment goes by and nothing's happening. And it had been so long since I'd seen much less use the camcorder. I didn't even think to rewind the tape at first. So of course I found the tape to the beginning and took another deep breath and sat down and hit play again.

00;14;46;07 - 00;14;56;24
Speaker 1
I remember I couldn't bring myself to look at the screen at first, and just kind of stared at the ground and listened, and maybe even I had my eyes closed.

00;14;56;27 - 00;15;17;09
Speaker 1
And the first thing I heard was the familiar sounds of walking in the woods. So I opened my eyes and I saw these branches and trees going by and the occasional flash of sky. And a few moments later, pant leg. And then what looked to be men's hiking boots.

00;15;17;11 - 00;15;42;12
Speaker 1
And at the time, my first reaction was relief, because I thought to myself, well, this has to be all. But there was so much movement and it was hard to really understand what you're looking at. And I quickly realized it's because everything was upside down. It was as if he'd had the camcorder in his hand, and it accidentally hit record and started to hike.

00;15;42;15 - 00;16;01;12
Speaker 1
And that's how it stayed for a while. Just this upside down blur of ground branches leaves brighter spots of sky and hiking sounds. It became disorienting after a while, so I went back to mostly just listening.

00;16;01;15 - 00;16;29;27
Speaker 1
I was expecting Owen to eventually start talking or something, but he just kept walking with the camera by his side, not saying a word. And everything was pretty dark. But initially, I couldn't tell if it was due to the time of day, or maybe just the quality of the recordings. But I could tell he was going uphill pretty steadily and stopping only a couple of times to seemingly catch his breath for 20 30s at a time.

00;16;30;00 - 00;16;55;17
Speaker 1
But otherwise he just largely kept going. There was no sign of a flashlight or a lantern, and if it wasn't close to nightfall already in the recording, I knew that it soon would be. And I remember just wondering, how's oh and moving so well in the dark. And then after a few more minutes of listening, I remember picking up the case and reading the label.

00;16;55;19 - 00;17;38;26
Speaker 1
It said in the White Mountains National Forest, New Hampshire, and in parentheses, Mount Whiteface. Though I'd never been to Mount Whiteface personally, I had been hiking in the White Mountains in New Hampshire, and based on what I could see of the foliage. That was indeed where the recording was taking place. And then finally, after about 8 or 9 minutes of this, I realized I could just fast forward the cassette, and that's what I got up to do, when all of a sudden I hear the terrain change and hear and see him step out on what looks to be these big light colored rocks.

00;17;38;29 - 00;17;54;29
Speaker 1
And the camera is still upside down. But I can now see more of the sky now. And it looks dark because here and there I'm getting a glimpse of a star or two. So Owen must have been approaching the summit.

00;17;55;02 - 00;18;05;08
Speaker 1
He continues to walk for about 15 20s and then comes to a stop.

00;18;05;10 - 00;18;30;16
Speaker 1
He seems to turn around slowly, then stops for another moment and then brings up the camera to film for the first time. And it's dark and kind of shaky, but I can see mountains off in the distance and below them points of light scattered across the valley below which were, you know, residential homes. And he doesn't look around.

00;18;30;17 - 00;18;39;15
Speaker 1
You know, the camera doesn't move. He just keeps it looking out across the mountains.

00;18;39;17 - 00;18;50;17
Speaker 1
I'm expecting him to finally say something, you know, to explain what's going on. But he just keeps filming the sky.

00;18;50;20 - 00;19;06;05
Speaker 1
And then a few more moments pass, and then suddenly, these four dots of light just materialize in the sky, one at a time. Above the mountains on the left.

00;19;06;07 - 00;19;28;15
Speaker 1
And I'm thinking that they're too low to be stars. And I'm wondering if they could be planes. But then I'm thinking that they're too close together and the lights aren't really flashing. So I'm wondering if maybe they're meteors or something, but they're just kind of floating there, and if anything, they're getting a little bit bigger. So I really had no clue what I could be looking.

00;19;28;17 - 00;19;55;02
Speaker 1
But it dawns on me that they are what overhead come to record. I mean, why else would he have climbed the mountain at night? Stopping near the top? Why? Why did he finally lift his camera up to to shoot out across the valley? Unless he knew that something was going to be there? And that's when I finally remember our trip to hike the black Angel trail.

00;19;55;05 - 00;19;58;14
Speaker 1
And what he said about having encounters with UFOs on his hikes.