Mastering the Job Interview: Tali Shlafer's Strategies to Boost Confidence and Impress Employers

Unlock the secrets to acing your next job interview with the wisdom shared by Tali Schlafer, certified interview coach. Together, we navigate the complex terrain of self-presentation and communication in professional settings. Whether it's conquering the dragon of imposter syndrome as you step into unfamiliar roles or honing the narrative that sets you apart, this episode is your guide to standing out in the career marketplace.

Step into the arena with confidence as we break down the barriers to effective networking and interviewing. We delve into strategies that help you channel the confidence of your most admired figures, and discuss how to turn your perceived weaknesses into unique strengths that capture an employer's attention. Tali’s insights are a beacon for job seekers and professionals alike, illuminating the path to not just landing that job, but excelling in your career trajectory.

Wrapping up with powerful tactics to leave a memorable impact, we stress the magic of authenticity and intentionality in interviews. By approaching each professional interaction with warmth and purpose, and assuming your interviewer is in your corner, you're more likely to build a genuine connection and close the 'liking gap'. This episode doesn’t just prepare you for the job interview; it equips you with the communication finesse that can redefine your professional relationships and opportunities.

To learn more about Tali, visit: 
https://talishlafer.com/

To learn more about Mindy CLICK HERE

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Hey friends, this is your host, mindy Duff, and you're listening to Uplevel your Life with Mindy, your number one personal growth podcast that will bring you closer to uncovering your greatest self. As a certified holistic health and nutrition coach, I created this podcast for anyone who desires to improve physically, emotionally and spiritually. I'll be interviewing experts and sharing tips and tricks that have helped not only my clients, but that have guided me on my own transformational journey. I believe that we all have a greatness that lies within. We just need to uncover it. Are you ready to level up? Let's begin. Hi everyone and welcome back to Uplevel your Life with Mindy. I am your host, mindy Duff, and today I have a special guest with me.

Speaker 1: 1:06

I'm going to be chatting with Tali Schlatter. I did it, gosh. I'm so close, it's like I haven't written out phonetically and everything Her name. As you know, some of us have names that are frequently mispronounced and I tried my best, so I apologize to Tali. Say it for us it's Tali Schlatter. Thanks for having me, schlatter. I had it written right and then it just didn't seem right in my brain in a moment.

Speaker 1: 1:34

Tali is a certified interview coach, so we're going to be talking about interviewing, but if you are somebody that's listening and you're like, well, I'm an entrepreneur or I'm a stay-at-home mom or I don't do interviews, I want you to listen anyway, because she's got stuff that is not just. It goes way beyond just sitting down and interviewing with somebody. So that's my little spiel there. Tali is a certified interview coach who helps high achieving professionals develop the confidence and communication skills they need to stand out at their job interviews. Her straightforward, compassion-backed interview tips on social media have amassed over 8 million views across platforms, helping thousands of people better advocate for themselves in the job search.

Speaker 1: 2:19

Tali's belief is that amazing interviews aren't just about having great talking points. They're also about managing your mindset. She's passionate about helping ambitious professionals create a career they're in love with and has helped dozens of people land job offers they're excited about since starting her business in the spring of 2023. So, tali, thank you so much for joining us today. Thanks for having me. Mindy, I'm excited to be here. So I know I read your little bio there, but can you just tell us a little bit more about yourself and what you do?

Speaker 2: 2:52

Yeah, well, you know how. There are so many people who are high achievers at work. They're really high performers, they really put themselves out there, but then they take forever to land their next job offer because they struggle in job interviews. Well, what I do is I help those people land job offers faster and job offers that they're excited about by helping them improve their interview skills and getting them into the right mindset so that they can actually perform at their best, like I think.

Speaker 2: 3:19

Like you said, I post to social media about three times a day. Have been doing that since spring of 2023. And I've gotten a lot of really incredible feedback from folks who have said that, hey, you know, your tips have helped me get a job that I'm excited about. It took me out of imposter syndrome. I also offer a signature interview boot camp program where folks can work with me to go a little bit more in depth, figure out how to best prepare for their interviews, and I think my biggest mission the reason that one thing that you mentioned when you were introducing everything is that these are tips that can apply for people who aren't just, you know, employees seeking out their next job, and what I really make sure to do, both in my social media tips and in coaching my clients, is to tie everything back to just basic communication principles.

Speaker 2: 4:10

Everything I do, everything I teach, is rooted.

Speaker 2: 4:12

Nothing is like I try not to teach hey, you should say this exactly, or ad lib style, anything like that because what I want to do is not just teach you how to interview well, but really how to think about communication effective communication so that you can really advocate yourself, whether that's in the workplace or in your business or somewhere else. So everything I do is rooted in basic principles of communication that sometimes we forget when we're in stressful situations. And also, what I would like to call my secret sauce is really focusing on the mindset as well, because I think you can sit around and prepare beautiful talking points, but if you are being so hard on yourself, if you are thinking in a way that is unhealthy or unhelpful, you're much more likely to do something like draw a blank or start to ramble or get stuck in perfectionism. So that's a little bit more about me and what I do and some of the things that I believe in, which is basic communication principles and building self-esteem strategies can get you a long way.

Speaker 1: 5:18

Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that you focus a lot on mindset, because I'm a mindset gal. I mean, that's again if you're somebody, that's not if you're an entrepreneur or whatnot. That's not in this interview situations super often, we all need help with the mindset and how we present ourselves, particularly when it comes to your career and we hear about elevator pitches and whatnot. Or if you meet somebody casually at your last office Christmas party or whatever, and somebody's spouse comes up and says what do you do? Oh well, I just do the. Or how do you present yourself? So we're presenting ourselves all the time, but we want to make sure that we're comfortable and confident in that and that's what you help people with and I love that. So, tally, I'm curious what are some common mistakes that people make when they're interviewing or even networking? Yeah, I think.

Speaker 2: 6:20

I'll list off a few. I think the first one I got to put it out there sounding too generic in your job interviews. So when you're approaching somebody, whether you're networking or you might be making a sales pitch to somebody if you're an entrepreneur, I'll focus this answer specifically to interviews because I think some of the lessons can be applied pretty easily. But it'll take me forever to get through if I paint it out Anyway, so sounding too generic. So, first of all, I hear I've talked to recruiters who say I'll ask the question why are you interested in this job? Or what made you apply to this? And somebody will say it's very, very common for people to say oh, I saw a job so I decided to apply, and it's just what we want to do is not only show that we can do the job, but show that we're really interested in the role itself. That kind of answer, if you're standing up against 10 other people, that's not going to make you stand out in any way. It's not going to show that you're invested. And we want to work with people that are excited to be there. We want to work with people who are invested, not just hire somebody who's going to take an any old job that's available to them. So I just want to get it out there. I think it's Some people know, hey, I have to do some research and show that I've researched and talk about things that I'm interested in, but it's always just worth noting that sounding generic is one of the worst things that you can do in a job interview, because the whole point is for you to stand out and wow the interviewer.

Speaker 2: 7:51

The next thing that I think is really really common is memorizing your interview answers. There are so many, I think, especially women, especially people who are high achievers we think we get into a job interview setting and we get into this very perfectionistic mindset where we think I have to be in order to be prepared, I need to write out a whole essay about everything I have to say, wordsmith it to death, memorize it and then deliver that as if it's a script, and that's the only way that I will succeed, because God knows they're going to figure out that I'm an imposter if I don't. And there's a few problems with this. Question number one your very few of us are paid actors, and paid actors, as far as I know, are the only people who regularly have to memorize and have that skill. So it's not something that we are naturally very good at.

Speaker 2: 8:45

And to try to memorize something, it's just not gonna work very well for you. It's incredibly difficult to memorize, especially when you add on the pressure of the job interview. Secondly, it doesn't allow you for any flexibility. Right, if you have memorized an answer for why are you a good fit for this role? But they ask you well, tell us, why should we hire you over somebody else? That's gonna send you into a tailspin because there's a minor change. But you've memorized this one thing and it doesn't allow for the flexibility of that naturally has to happen when you're having a conversation with someone.

Speaker 2: 9:24

And the third reason that I really discourage people from memorizing it's very tempting, I know a lot of people do it or try to do it is that it doesn't sound natural and at the end of the day, an interview is a conversation. It's not a presentation, it's not a test, it's not a monologue that you're delivering on stage. It's a conversation and it's very easy to tell when somebody is naturally talking to something that they're excited about versus when they are reciting something that they've memorized. You know you kind of it's a different, it's a completely different. Everything about your body shifts. So it's very obvious and it feels very impersonal. And again, we don't want to. We want to stand out in order to stand out. There is an emotional component of that right, it's not just saying, hey, I can do the job. It's saying hey, I'm excited to be here. It's connecting with the person that you are talking with so that they have, they feel, excited about bringing you back. The last thing that, oh, a couple more things that I wanna say.

Speaker 2: 10:26

A lot of people like to treat a job interview as if it's a test, so cramming beforehand. So this is one of those mindset things that I think, mindy, you'll appreciate A lot of people. In the last 30 minutes before a job interview, they're like, okay, I have to go through my resume one last time, I have to go on LinkedIn and look up the person who's interviewing me, I have to do more research, maybe I'll read some news articles, and they end up kind of in this cramming for a test mode and that really misses out on an opportunity to prime yourself and get yourself in a confident mindset. Because if you're, most of us don't like tests, right, so if you're treating something like a test, you're probably you're going into that fight or flight mode. You're gonna be very stressed, it's gonna be hard for you to be present, it's gonna be hard for you to remember what you need to say and you're gonna try to just get through the interview rather than really thrive in it.

Speaker 2: 11:21

So one thing that I really recommend people do before job interviews and you can do this if you're an entrepreneur, you can do this before a sales call or before an important presentation or even before you go on a podcast is figure out what are you gonna do in the last 30 minutes before that big event that's going to help you get grounded, and that can be going for a walk.

Speaker 2: 11:41

I love going for a walk, a really slow walk around my, just around the block. It can be one of the. I very vividly remember before I got my first ever job offer out of college, I went into the bathroom stall and I put my hands on my hips, I did a little superwoman power pose and listened to my favorite music. You can do a meditation, you can. Even I had a client who started playing the ukulele and so she would just play the ukulele Anything that you need to do to get back to that sense of feeling grounded and connected, because then you're gonna prime yourself to really be present in that conversation and to not put so much stress on yourself that you can't really perform at your best.

Speaker 1: 12:24

Oh, I love that. I love that last one. I wrote that down because that's something that sounds kind of like a duh, but like I've never done it, you know that 30 minutes before, like you say the big event, whatever that is for you, the interview or whatever, yeah, that you need to plan that extra. You know, if your interview's at one o'clock, no, your interview's at 1230. You just don't walk into the room until one o'clock, so at 1230, what are you doing to prime yourself? I just, I love that and you gave some great suggestions, but, yeah, everybody's different.

Speaker 1: 12:56

So, whatever it is, and as you're saying this, it's making me think you know, like the girl or who I assumed it was a girl your client who was playing the ukulele, that's she's gonna feel more tapped into herself and she's gonna walk into that interview being more authentic, and that's what the interviewer wants to see. They wanna see like they're asking all these questions to get to know you, to get to the real you, to find out. You know, I can read these answers on a paper. That's why interviews are usually in person, or at least Zoom, if nothing else, because we want that to see your energy and feel your energy and see what does this person really like? We can read the answers on black and white on the paper, but that's not gonna give us the full picture of who you actually are. So the more authentic you can be, the better off. This is gonna be, just for all parties concerned.

Speaker 1: 13:47

So I love that suggestion. That was really really good. Now you also mentioned a little bit about imposter syndrome and I wanna circle on back to that guy. How do we overcome imposter syndrome when presenting ourselves? Because sometimes, a lot of times, we're applying for jobs or positions for things where we've never done this before, so you quite literally are like a newbie. How do you in your mind, what do you do to overcome that imposter? I shouldn't be here feeling.

Speaker 2: 14:20

I think the first step of that that's such a great question because it comes up not just in job interviews, but even if, once you get the job and you're starting it out, imposter syndrome comes up in all sorts of areas in our life I think the very first step of that is having an awareness of getting really specific about what is the thought that I'm thinking that's causing me to feel less than, that's causing anxiety in my body, because all of the emotions that we feel, that dreaded, that sinking feeling in your chest, that anxiousness, that all comes from the things that our mind is feeding it. So, getting really specific, maybe doing some journaling too what is this really about? What am I afraid of here? Is that anxiety, that imposter syndrome? It's coming from fear. So what is that belief that is causing you to feel fearful and to doubt yourself? And then, once you have that and that can be lots of different things this is one of the things that I love working with coaching clients on is we generally have this feeling of something's wrong, but to pinpoint it, then we can actually move to address it, rather than just, oh, just be confident or just think positive thoughts. Once you can get really specific about. What is that fear For a lot of people like I remember one of my very first clients that I'd coached.

Speaker 2: 15:40

She was nervous because she didn't have. She was so beyond qualified, like she was fantastic, just absolutely the person that you wanna work with. I could tell right away as soon as we got on that call. And she was feeling really nervous because she didn't have a certain area of knowledge. So she was working maybe in project management in one area, you know, in one industry, and she was kind of pivoting into a slightly different industry. So her imposter syndrome really came from I don't have this specific knowledge. And so we were able to think about well, so what? Maybe the other candidates and she was really worried that, okay, the other job, the other candidates applying for this, have this knowledge.

Speaker 2: 16:28

And then we're starting to question so what if you don't have a specific area of knowledge? How can that actually be a benefit to you? First of all, how can you overcome it? Right, if you were hired on the spot, I know you would go out and you would talk to subject matter experts, you do more research, you talk to your peers, you take additional training, whatever you need to do in order to catch up to speed, right. So just because you don't know something now doesn't mean you can't learn it. We're all problem solvers, especially those high achieving people. We can problem solve. We're always learning new things and in fact it's part of growing. You're always having to expose yourself to situations in which you don't know things. So that's just normalizing that a little bit.

Speaker 2: 17:11

And secondly, one thing that can be helpful to ask is how can this be a competitive advantage for me? So I had another client who was had a very similar experience where she was interviewing for something that it was. She didn't have a strong technical background and this was a technical adjacent rule and she was really worried because the other candidates might have they probably have a masters and they came from those technical backgrounds. And so we can't control what the other people bring to the table. But what we can control is how we think about what we're bringing to the table. So how is what you feel? How is what you're perceiving to be a missing component? How is that actually a competitive advantage? And we kind of had to probe with her and we figured out actually it's a competitive advantage because she's a lot more open to new ideas, right.

Speaker 2: 18:06

People who are very deeply entrenched in a knowledge might have very firm ideas about what they wanna do. But if you're not, very, you know if you're. So first of all, that would allow her to be more flexible as she, as the business, evolves, as she learns new things. But secondly, it allows her to speak at the level that she needs to in order to connect with other business individuals. Right that her job wasn't to speak the technical language. Her job was to be that bridge between the technical team and the business owners. So that can actually be an advantage because it helps her. Because she's not so deep in the technical weeds, she can actually speak better to the business about what's going on on the technical side.

Speaker 2: 18:57

So, thinking about, so getting really clear about what is the fear that I'm experiencing and how can I see it in a different way Sometimes that also can be working with a coach can be really important, just to open up your way of thinking, to see it in a different way. But sometimes it can be just a matter of you can identify somebody who you really admire for their confidence or they're really bold or courageous, and you know that might be an old coworker or somebody that you follow online or whoever, and you can ask yourself, well, how would they approach the situation? Sometimes, when I'm feeling a little bit of imposter syndrome and I'm doubting myself, I actually think about well, how would? My partner is just romantic, partner is just incredibly in tune with the stuff. So I think to myself. I'm like how would he perceive the situation that I'm using to doubt myself in Just getting yourself to think in new ways rather than getting so stuck in your current belief system?

Speaker 1: 19:58

Yeah, I think that's great advice, boy, and I've been like taking notes here. I don't know.

Speaker 2: 20:04

Like I didn't even interview.

Speaker 1: 20:06

But this is good. I like that when you said we can't control what other people bring to the table, but we can control what we think about what we bring to the table, and I think that's really a powerful statement, because you can't, you have no control over the other interviewers. They're not even worth thinking about. Like, don't give an ounce of attention to what.

Speaker 1: 20:29

And then the other thing that, as you're talking I'm like you know how often do we do this you don't even really know unless you have, unless you personally know the person that's interviewing you.

Speaker 1: 20:39

You don't even know what they're looking for really. Do you know what I mean? Because sometimes you might be thinking like these examples you're giving, where the people don't have that technical expertise in this, you know niche down area, but they're still really good at their job. That might not have been on the list at all, for you know most maybe not most, but many people who are interviewing will have their ideal person you know, in mind. They'll have written out oh, we want somebody that does this, or they're like this and XYZ, here's our list of the perfect person. And having all of that technical expertise may not even be on the list because it might not really be that relevant to the job in their eyes. They want somebody that can do these other things right, and I think that we get in our heads about what we think they might be wanting and then that just messes you up so bad.

Speaker 2: 21:31

The other thing that this is a really great point is we sometimes, as the interviewee, believe that there's a perfect candidate out there.

Speaker 1: 21:40

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 21:40

We believe that there's some perfect human that we're competing against and we have no chance up against them. And I like to remind people that there might be somebody who you're competing against who does have every single one of the qualifications, and maybe they even have more than the qualifications but what if they're a jerk to work with? What if they're arrogant or cocky or they just don't connect with, they don't have personal skills or they don't connect with the interviewer? We don't want to just hire people who can get the job done. We want to hire people that we enjoy working with, that can be collaborative. So just a reminder that you are way more than your resume and you can bring much more to the job than just the job description itself. But that's something that you have to figure out right. It's not something that happens accidentally, as you have to remember. Okay, I actually bring a lot more to the table than just what's expected.

Speaker 1: 22:34

Yeah, and I personally have been fortunate enough, even starting back in college, to be on an interviewing committee of some sort. Many times I've helped hire somebody or at least asked to give my two cents and that's so, man, it really was a game changer for me then stepping into interviews, having been on both sides of the table. Because if you think about things a little bit differently but you're right there might be somebody on black and white and paper that's technically perfect for the job. But when you interview them, if they're a wet rag, like when they leave the room, the committee, if there's a committee the people are like I did not enjoy talking about that. That's why we have interviews right Again, so that you can feel their energy and see what they're really all about. Because it's so much more when you're hiring somebody like you say you don't want somebody just that can just do the job. In most cases you want somebody.

Speaker 1: 23:28

Okay. If you've got somebody that, okay, they maybe can do the job a little bit better, but they seem flaky, they're not getting the job, versus the person that's up against them that, ooh, they maybe don't quite have the technical abilities, but wow, did they seem like super dedicated and like they've got a great track record and great people recommendations and whatnot. That's a no brainer. You're not gonna take the person that on paper is better. You're gonna take the person that you think is actually gonna like. The whole person is gonna be fun to work with and get the job done Absolutely. Now you mentioned confidence a little bit and I'd like to go back to that some more. So what tips do you have for building confidence aside from the 30 minutes right before? Do your thing, get in the zone. But what else can you tell us about building confidence for an interview or networking situation?

Speaker 2: 24:19

I think that this is where it's really important to not just lean on okay, I need to just be confident. We talked about a couple of things that are just mindset, but a really big part of confidence. I don't wanna understate the importance of actually doing your preparation, and one thing of that I think a lot of people miss as they're preparing for job interviews is their doing things in a very piecemeal fashion. So one day they sit down and they think, okay, how do I answer the question? Tell me about yourself. And the next day they think about okay, well, how do I answer the question? What are the skills that you will use to succeed in this interview? And it's a very piecemeal, like, kind of like playing whack-a-mole, like, okay, well, I have this answer and I have this answer and I have this answer. There's no overall story, there's no overall message, and one of the most important things this is one of the things I teach in my boot camp is it's actually something that I learned while I was getting certified as an interview coach is building out your message, your overall message of, at the end of the day, if your interviewer walks away from your interview and forgets everything that you ever talked about, what's the number one most important thing that they need to know about you in order to hire you, and that is usually what are the results that you're going to bring in this job, what is the value that you bring, what is the value that this job allows you to do, what are the results that you are going to be able to execute? Well, and so, working backwards to figure out okay, if I'm a product manager or a project manager, then the number one most important thing that I need to be able to do, or to convince my interviewer, is that I can deliver large, complex projects on time and within budget. Right, that is the number one. That is your key main message, your thesis. If you were writing a paper, that is your thesis. And so then we work backwards.

Speaker 2: 26:21

Okay, well, what allows you to do that? What are the skills, what are the strengths, what are the qualifications that you have that allow you to deliver that, that allow you to deliver large, complex projects on time within budget? Well, I have a lot of leadership experience, right, I've been in this leadership position for six years. At my current job. I'm really good at what is it? Stakeholder management? Right, I've been. This is something that I have been doing for four years, right, I'm really good at relationship management and I'm very organized. I had the qualifications I have.

Speaker 2: 26:57

Maybe I have a certification, maybe I have a PMP certification, maybe I went to school for this or I took some additional training, right, getting so, starting with that top of like, okay, what's the main message that I want them to remember? And then, what are the things about me that allow me to deliver that message? So, rather than so, that's just at a very high level, and then, based on those skills and strengths that you pick, figuring out stories and examples that you can share. So, if you sit down and you write, okay, here are the seven strengths and qualifications that I have that I'm gonna talk about throughout this interview, then for each of them, picking, you know, two to three examples from your previous work, right, and I think that is a much more. I actually I redid my entire program once. I learned this model of thinking from this certification. That I did because it's so powerful to think about rather than trying to.

Speaker 2: 27:53

Hey, I'm gonna answer this question this way, and I have this example for this question thinking about your interview as building a case for yourself and then working backwards to figure out how do I, what are the most important things that I need to share, rather than trying to boil the ocean, which a lot of people do, is they try to go okay, well, I have these skills, but I'm also really good at Excel and I also, you know, sometimes I can public speak if I need to.

Speaker 2: 28:20

Like it's trying to give too much, and so I think a big part of confidence isn't just just try I just remember that you asked me about confidence. I think a big part of confidence isn't just the mindset is really, really important, but it's also sitting down and figuring out how do I, how do I fit the role that I'm applying for? Doing that work for yourself, and I think that pairs really really well once you have a clear understanding of hey, this is why this is the job, this is the most important parts of the job and here's why I can do it. Here's proof that I can do it. Once you have that pairing that with you know managing your mindset, thinking about what are the thoughts that I'm helping that are unhelpful, and finding ways to shift them into more empowering mindsets, into ways of thinking that make you feel a little lighter, make you feel a little bit more open and present.

Speaker 1: 29:11

Yeah, wow, I love that I have taken way more notes than I anticipated on this. As Casey's, everybody sees me like looking off to the side. I'm not like doodling or making my shopping list, like I'm writing this down because it seems relevant.

Speaker 1: 29:26

And again, like I am not, I'm an entrepreneur. I don't do interviews and I'm like, oh that, but that's important because I hope people that are not that are entrepreneurs and whatnot. I hope you're hanging in there with us because this is good stuff. As you're talking, you know it's really you're just encouraging people to be intentional, be very focused and intentional, and I think that everybody listening, even if you're like, nope, I like my job, I'm not leaving for a long time, you still could benefit from sitting down and like doing a little bit of this exercise that you're talking about, because that's gonna help you just everywhere, if you're at your job, everything If you can. When you said, how do I fit the role I'm applying for, even if you're not leaving your job? Gosh, how do you fit the role that you have now, like, what are your? That's a huge confidence booster. But as you're talking, I'm thinking about the similarities between this, what you're saying, and being an entrepreneur. That's selling something. So really, when you go into these interviews, you are, you're the product and you got to make them want to buy you. So I mean, when I think about some of the stuff, I probably didn't realize until I became an entrepreneur who had stuff for people to buy. You know, you, you're right, you have to have, like this, focused what are the results? What are these going to buy from you just because you say, oh well, I have, this is what you're going to get. You're going to get, like, you know you'll get this PDF and you'll get this video or whatever you're selling. I don't know, they don't care about that. They want to know what's the transformation, what's going to happen as a result of, you know, buying this thing. And we all have participated in that, we've all bought stuff before. For that reason, not because you wanted the stuff, but because you wanted the transformation, the result I think about I'm dating myself here, but like P90X, for those of you that are old enough to remember like that's just a. You know we didn't want the videos, we wanted that transformation. And so when you go into these interviews, like what's the result, what's the transformation, that you know when they quote unquote, purchase you, quite the same, but what are? What are you going to deliver? And that's, that's all the same. But I love that idea of keeping it intentional and focused and all around that same thing. So if you think of yourself more like a product that you're selling. I mean sort of it's different, but sort of that's going to keep it more focused and focused around those results. That's great advice. I really like that.

Speaker 1: 32:03

And as somebody again that has interviewed, like yeah, the people, there are people that come and they answer the questions and sometimes they're all over the place Like well, that wasn't really relevant, but I guess you did answer the question that I asked. So maybe I guess I need to ask better questions. But then there are some people that there is like a common thread all the way through where there's a flow and it's just like, okay, I get it. I feel like I understand more about what this person is about and what they're going to deliver. So, oh, I like that, like that so much. So I think that doing that would make a person stand out, having a focused, intentional response. But what are some other things that could help us stand out in a good way? You know what they're standing out and then they're standing out in a good way. So what have you?

Speaker 2: 32:48

got for that? Well, we already talked about authenticity, right? Is getting really that 30 minutes before your job interview, doing something that makes you feel like yourself, doing something that makes you feel good so that you can show up? So many people rush through the interview? I don't want to. Before we even get into this, I don't want to share any sort of hacks. There's so many different like hey, say this or ask this question. It's not like that. It's not an AI. You're not being interviewed by like a video game or a robot. You're not being evaluated in that way.

Speaker 2: 33:23

The impression that you're making the way to stand out isn't through one particular thing that you say, or a magic phrase or this. There's no like unlocking it. It's the overall impression that you give in your job interview and that's really hard to control, for without feeling present. When we're present, there's so much study done on the power of positivity, positive emotions in your body versus being in an in negative state of emotion. And when you're in a positive state, when you're feeling hopeful, when you're feeling excited, when you're feeling connected with the other person, when you feel like you are much more likely to have that awareness going on of like oh, you know what they mentioned being a Viking span. That's something I can talk about, or being able to. You know, two thirds into your interview you have one answer maybe that you prepared, but you remember something from earlier in the interview and you actually improvise a little and add that in that kind of thinking. That kind of like higher level thinking and awareness and ability to synthesize different things that are happening and respond in time is not something that you can do when you're really stressed. In fact, it's incredibly difficult. I really encourage my clients.

Speaker 2: 34:40

A lot of people try to rush through the interview. They try to rush through the beginning. They skip the rapport building because they're like no, I just need to. I need to get to the hard questions. Because we all think there's some question that's going to be really hard, it's going to throw me off, and so we kind of rush through. Tell me about yourself, why do you want to work here? Those basic questions because we're waiting, kind of like on a test where you fly through the easy questions because you really want to get to the hard ones. Because that's when you're like that that's going to make me feel better is getting through those ones.

Speaker 2: 35:07

We treat interviews of the same way and then we go well, how can I have stood out? The way that you could have stood out is to have been intentional throughout the whole time, is to have been present with every question. So, building that rapport, smiling right, it's so important. Another thing is just remembering that we are.

Speaker 2: 35:27

The liking gap in psychology is humans tend to assume that people like us, a stranger's, like us less than they actually do. So it's really important to remember hey, this person, treat that person who's interviewing you like an old friend that you're catching up with or like an old coworker that you're really excited to see. Assume that they're rooting for you and I'm not going to like I said I don't want to share, hey, do this hack or say this thing, because I don't think that stuff works. But what really works is getting ourselves in a really positive mindset so that we can put our best foot forward. So we're not rushing through, we're being really mindful with what we're saying. We're being really present with the other person. I had something that I was going to say and it immediately flew out of my brain as soon as I started talking about that. Let me see if I can rein it back. Yeah, so much of it is just feeling present with, with your interviewer.

Speaker 2: 36:27

And that allows you to just make those connections that you otherwise wouldn't have. Showing that you're prepared. Allowing yourself to show emotion not like being emotional, but allowing yourself to show excitement about the position, about the opportunity. Showing that, hey, I looked up on LinkedIn before we met and I noticed that you had this previous experience, and that's something that I'm really interested in, right. Showing that, not being afraid to. I think so many people are afraid of feeling needy, but showing enthusiasm is different from showing desperation.

Speaker 1: 37:04

Yeah yeah. I like that you said assume they're rooting for you. That's something that so I do some public speaking and that's something that speakers have to overcome. A lot of times you get up there on stage. Public speaking is the number one fear, for a reason. You have all these people in the room staring at you and judging you and not different than an interview where there's people that's literally they're there to quote unquote judge you, so to speak.

Speaker 2: 37:31

Are you a?

Speaker 1: 37:32

fit for this or not, but what we're taught as public speakers is yeah, you have to assume that they're rooting for you 99% of the time. They are once, the last time you went and listened to somebody speak and you sat down before you knew anything about them and thought, oh, I bet this guy's terrible and I don't wanna, you know most of the time you're like no, you're just like hmm, what do they have to say?

Speaker 1: 37:52

And it's the same with an interview. You know, when they come in they know a little bit about you, but they need to hire someone to fill. They have a need, they have a position that needs to be filled. So when you walk into the room, they want to like you, they want you to be the right fit.

Speaker 1: 38:08

So they are like, looking for, like oh, I hope this is it. This would be great if this person works out, so, assuming that they are on your team to begin with, you know that is a huge mindset shift that really can be beneficial.

Speaker 2: 38:22

This is a good reminder, because interviewing is not free. It is very expensive, they have to take their resources out of their daily jobs to and the interview isn't the only time right. They have to do the evaluation, they have to do all this planning. They're paying to meet with you, essentially, so somebody somewhere already has to assume that you're worth, you're probably able to do the job. Otherwise they wouldn't be investing into your potential like that.

Speaker 2: 38:51

The other thing that I want to say that you know keeps people from being really present and standing out is we're all afraid that we're going to get an unexpected question, and this might be really.

Speaker 2: 39:02

This might be also related to just making a sale as an entrepreneur's or any sort of public speaking.

Speaker 2: 39:07

But so many people in job interviews are rushing through the interview because they're like, oh, I might get a question that I don't expect and if that happens, I'm so scared I need to find out if that's going to happen and I think, switching your mindset a little bit to what if I get a question I don't expect to, rather saying I'm probably going to get a question or two that I didn't quite expect, and so anticipating that, setting your expectation that's probably going to happen and then kind of treating it like a game rather than an evaluation of like, rather than treating it like you're being judged, thinking about it as oh I'm playing this game, I'm probably going to get a couple of things that I don't expect. Let's see how I do. It's a very different mindset than oh, my God, I don't know, I might get something that I don't expect and I'm going to be devastated. That also helps you get back into that present moment and really perform much better.

Speaker 1: 39:57

Yeah, yeah, and having that 30 minutes ahead of time to get yourself grounded and focused, and having all of your other answers all flowing together and knowing what your main point is, is going to make it much easier to answer those unexpected questions, because you're already kind of in that zone. So I felt that I wouldn't stress about those people listening. That's my not very professional advice but don't just don't worry about it, just don't.

Speaker 2: 40:25

Know what's going to happen, and that's okay. That doesn't mean anything's gone wrong.

Speaker 1: 40:30

So what is one last thing that you wish everybody knew about interviewing?

Speaker 2: 40:35

That it's just a conversation, that yes, yes, prepare. I'm not saying don't prepare, I'm not saying go in it and go into it and wing it. But at the end of the day, you do your research about the company, you figure out your value proposition, right, the main message that you want to give, your talking points, your answers, all sorts of stuff. You do that preparation so that you can have a conversation, so that you can give them information that they need to make in order to make a decision. And it's not a. You don't have to feel like you have to speak perfectly, right.

Speaker 2: 41:17

A lot of the times we think, oh, I have to sound really professional, or I have to say this and this, or I can't say um, or we start judging ourselves a lot. Stay out of that. Come back to. It's not a. You're not being evaluated for your public speaking. You're nobody sitting around counting how many ums you're saying or you know what, how many hundred dollar words do you use? At the end of the day, it's your ability to connect with the other person, and everything that you're doing to prepare is just so that you can have a much more fruitful and valuable conversation.

Speaker 1: 41:51

Yeah, yeah, oh, good, good, good advice there from Tally here today. Everybody. Like I said, I took way more notes than anticipated, but you just shared a lot of really good stuff, so I hope that everybody hope you all paid attention. This was very good. Thank you, Tally. Where can people learn more about you? I know you mentioned that you have a boot camp program, but I also know you've got lots of really great stuff, like on Instagram and wherever. Where should people go if they want to learn a little bit more about you?

Speaker 2: 42:23

Yeah, I am active on all the three social medias that the big ones, so Facebook, instagram, tiktok. I'm Tally T-A-L-I dot schlaffer S-H-L-A-F-E-R. On all of those I post usually about five to seven reels a week, depending on the week, but I'm always sharing interview tips and really trying to ground them in communication principles and confidence building strategies. And then LinkedIn as well I'm kind of active on trying to be more active on so it's the same Tally schlapper on there. So if you follow me on any of one of those platforms, you are going to see a lot of my face every day telling you about how to do better in interviews and encouraging you to. I think it should be. I really try to teach things in a fun way that this isn't rocket science, it's just basic communication principles that we often forget when we are in this stressful situation. So I try to keep it as light and warm and encouraging as possible.

Speaker 1: 43:22

Yeah, yeah, oh. I love that, and I know I've checked out quite a few of your videos on Instagram in particular and, yeah, they're great stuff. So everybody hop over there and check out Tally Tally. Thank you so much for being here today. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 2: 43:36

Mindy, this was a blast and you are a wonderful host. I just love your ability to synthesize and summarize everything. You're clearly very present and intentional as well, so I think that's why probably some of those things resonated with you.

Speaker 1: 43:48

Thank you for having me. I think you are right. I am all about being present and mindful and all of that wonderful stuff. So everybody that's listening. I hope that you got some wonderful things from this podcast episode here with Tally. If you got something great out of it, don't hesitate to reach out. You can reach out. I'm sure Tally would love to hear it, and I always love hearing from you guys. So shoot me a message, mindy, at MindyDuffcom, or on social and wherever you're at today. I hope you're having a fantastic day and I will catch you on the next one. ["mindy at MindyDuff"]. That's it for today. Friends, if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe or, even better, leave a review and let me know what resonated with you the most. The more you tell me what you love, the better I'm able to create future episodes with even better content. I'm sending you so much love and light. I'll see you in the next episode.