Have you ever heard someone say the phrase, my diet starts tomorrow, they're at dinner and they're eating this like chocolate cake or, indulging in some way. And they're like, okay, but like my diet's going to start tomorrow. They say it as this way to postpone eating the things that are really good for them. And it's this excuse to just continue doing things the same way that they've been doing it. This excuse to avoid the discomfort of making a change. And most of us are doing the equivalent of my diet starts tomorrow with our hopes and dreams and with our purpose. We delay doing the things we really want to do because of some excuse that feels really valid. We tell ourselves, okay, now it's not the right time to start the business because I still need to pay back my loans. And once I qualify for the student loan forgiveness, then I can start thinking about doing what I want, or. You know, the kids are still young, they're at home, once they reach this certain age, go off to school, then I can do what I want. We postpone living the life we really want and we act like it's because we're doing something to be responsible. But is that really true? Are we being responsible or are we just scared? And is being patient a good thing? Or is it a way to cop out and avoid discomfort? In this episode, I'm going to talk about the power of being impatient and slightly irresponsible so that you can start living the life you want. And I talk about the dangers of delayed gratification. The dangers of waiting for the right time. And why it's important for us to create the right time right now. Let's get to the show. You're listening to life after medicine, the podcast for health professionals who want to make a difference, make a living, and still have the freedom to enjoy their lives. My name is Chelsea Turgeon, and my mission is to help you, the lost health professional, find your authentic path to helping others and generating stable income without having to sacrifice your own health and happiness in the process. Most people I talk to have this nagging dream on their heart that they're just not pursuing. So one of my clients recently in a group call was sharing what she wanted to do for her leap action. And she said, okay, I already know what it's going to be. It's this thing I've been thinking about for years and just haven't done it. I want to record an audio book because I want to be a voice actress. So it's something she had thought about for years. And just hadn't done anything about it. I was talking with one of my digital nomad friends the other day, and he was sharing about how in the future he wants to become a motivational speaker. That's like this big dream on his heart. It's this vision that he's seen. this thing he knows he's meant to do, but he was saying before he starts doing that, He wants to spend five to ten years building up this e commerce business to create financial stability so that then he can feel comfortable to pursue his purpose as a motivational speaker, and we all do this. We delay our purpose. We delay our dreams. We delay living the life that we really want and doing the things that are really on our heart. When I was working in medicine, people told me, just finish residency. What does that mean? Just spend the next two and a half years working 80 hours a week on something I don't want to do. That's so much time to just throw away. We make up all of these reasons that sound super logical and responsible and realistic to justify waiting. Okay, well, I'm just going to get through this year of training so that I can have more options on the other side. I'm just gonna tough it out and, hang in there until I can pay back my loans, until I meet that 10 year, public service student loan forgiveness program. I'm going to wait until I save up this amount of money, or until my kids get to this certain place until they start middle school or go off to college. It's the whole, like, my diet starts tomorrow mentality. One of the problems is it's socially acceptable. we can convince ourselves and convince others that we're being responsible, that what we're doing makes sense, that we just have to put other people first during this season. But I'm going to argue that that's the whole problem, that we're too patient and we're too responsible. And those seem like good qualities. Those seem like qualities we are supposed to develop, but I think those qualities can actually create a lot of self sabotage. And this is one of the superpowers of my ADHD brain, is I'm very impatient I never let adulting, or doing the responsible thing, get in the way of living. I never let planning for the future, Get in the way of living in the present moment. And today I want to talk about the power of impatience and why you need to start cultivating impatience now. Because there might be a time and a place for patience. Delayed gratification, playing the long game, I'm not saying that's wrong all the time, sure. I probably need to cultivate more of that, but most of you need less of that, right? Most of you need less patience, less delayed gratification, less playing the long game. Most of you need to start working on your short game, your now game, your impatience. There's this Buddha quote I love and it says, the trouble is you think you have time. Most of us live like that. We live like we have just infinite amounts of time on this earth, but we don't, we don't know what we have. And the thing is, even if we had infinite time, like why are we still wasting it? Why are we still living in a way that's not ideal for the now? Do you spend most of your time prepping, preparing, saving, building, optimizing for the future so that one day you can relax? But when is that one day going to come? And what if you actually had to start living now? What if something happened that brought your life into just stark perspective, right? What if you were diagnosed with something and just had a year left to live? What would you be doing differently? That's actually a really important question to answer because what that tells you is the things that you're delaying and avoiding and not doing that are actually really important to you that you would really regret not doing. I had a call with a client yesterday and she was telling me about, she got COVID like she was working in New York as a physician in the peak of COVID. And she got COVID at that time when it was all very unknown, like what was going to happen. And she felt horrible. And so in her brain, she's like, I think I'm going to die. And she felt so sad about that because she's like, no, like I can't go yet. I haven't really done my purpose yet. And so if you had that moment, like one of those near death moments, like what would you be so disappointed that you haven't yet done, that's really important to identify another question to help you sort of identify what you're avoiding or denying. What if all the situations that you were waiting to end or change, we're actually going to be part of your life forever. Tim Ferris in his book, the four hour work week, he talks about what if retirement wasn't an option? What if you didn't get to stop working at 65 and live life differently after that point? What if you had to somehow design a way to live and work now that was sustainable indefinitely? Right? What if you couldn't hold your breath until the time in the future? What if this was how it was going to be for the rest of your life? What would you change? What would you do differently? What if your kids were never going off to college? What if something happened and like they're going to be a dependent forever? And you have to find a way to care for them and live your life at the same time. What would you do differently? What if your loans were never going to be paid off? What if there was an infinite amount of payments you would make that you could never pay them off? What would you do differently to just live now? To live and make payments in a way that felt sustainable now. Those questions are really important and helpful because they help bring into perspective. What is it that you're not doing? Okay. And once you have that awareness, once you can say that out loud, then there still becomes the question of, well, okay, well, why are we delaying it? Like, why are you not doing it? And usually it's fear. But fear of what? Like, what are we scared of? Why are we so afraid to start living? It's actually a really interesting question to ponder. One thing that came to me is we're afraid of disappointment. We're afraid that the reality is not going to be as good as the fantasy in our head. when we're in this realm of like talking about it and daydreaming about it, the idea is so pure and so lovely. There isn't that harsh reality. And there's something about having this fantasy that can kind of keep us going, but we're afraid if we actually try something and we don't love it, or it's not as good as we envision it to be. we try it and it's not as perfect as we envisioned. And then we feel disappointed. And then there's nothing in the future that we can kind of point to, to give us the sense of hope. It's almost like we're afraid of being disappointed and then letting Go of hope that things could feel different in the future, but we have to let the perfection of our dream be ruined so that it can become real. We have to fall in love with the day to day nitty gritty reality more than we fall in love with the fantasy of what could be. We have to love. the suck of our dream so that it can actually exist and become real. When I was working in medicine, I used to live in this fantasy of being a digital nomad. I really, I had this vision of myself waking up and having this luxurious morning routine where I have time for self care, where I do yoga and journal and meditate, just have this like hot girl morning routine and then go to an Aesthetically gorgeous cafe where I'm sipping on this matcha latte and, you know, working on my laptop with this big smile on my face. And that was my vision. And it felt so juicy. And you know what the reality is? It's much different. Like some days it has elements of that, but the reality is not like that, like a movie screen, like it's not that right. Like I'll wake up and check my phone and then get annoyed at myself for not having willpower and not, you know, being able to stay off of social media and then maybe I scroll aimlessly for a bit and then finally I'll like turn on a meditation app and. I sit and I'm trying to clear my mind, but I can't. I keep thinking about things and I'm like, well this is a stupid use of meditation. And then I want to do yoga, but I just feel tired and kind of lazy. And so then I'll just, okay, I'm just going to go to a cafe, but the seat isn't super comfortable or like ergonomic. And I Open my computer and I feel overwhelmed like oh gosh, like what do I work on? I, you know, I have the freedom to do whatever I want But I have to choose what to do and then I get emails and it's like oh, I don't know how to respond to this I'm gonna kind of put this one off I feel frustrated But then I'll get an email from, this happened the other day, from a medical student in the country, Georgia, saying how much my work has helped her. Or I'll get tagged on a post on LinkedIn from this doctor in Argentina saying like, they listened to this one podcast episode and it made her feel seen and heard. Or I'll get a message, like a text from a friend asking, do you want to go for a walk and a coffee in the middle of the day? And, and I can say yes, and I don't have to ask anyone permission. so there's frustrations and imperfections. But then there's these amazing pieces as well. So there's highs and lows. And at the end of the day, even though it's not this beautiful vision that I imagined, even though it still has flaws and I still have all my human emotions, I love it. I love the life I've created. It's not the picture perfect vision board, but it's better because it's real and I don't need it to be perfect. Because it exists. And that's the most important thing is that you get to live your dreams, not just dream them. And it reminds me of this quote from Harry Potter where Albus Dumbledore says, it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. And this is when Harry is like looking in the mirror of Erised and he's just constantly seeing his desires, seeing his parents, seeing everything he wants and he sees it and he's in this dream world. But he's not living his real life. And it's like, we romanticize our dreams so much that we're afraid to live them. But what if we learned to love the realness of living our dreams more than the perfection of just dreaming them? And so for you, what is that thing that you're delaying? What does that thing you've been talking about? You've been putting off for one day and how long has this nagging idea been on your heart? Like, be honest. I mean, I talked about starting a blog since college and I didn't actually start one until I left residency. So that was what, like eight years of just talking about it. When are you going to start, stop talking about it and start doing it? And what is that situation or condition that you're waiting for either to happen or to pass so that you can live your dreams? And what if you didn't actually need to keep waiting or keep being patient or keep being responsible? What if you could start living it right now? So my invitation for you is to reflect on these questions, to identify that thing that's been on your heart and to stop letting yourself. Stop deluding yourself into thinking there's a real reason to wait. There's no real reason. It's just fear. You're just afraid. Any excuse that sounds logical, it doesn't have to be a real excuse. You can find a way to work around it. So the invitation is to stop dreaming and to start doing. What are you waiting for?
