AND HERE’S MODI
Two Flames and a Piece of Meat
Episode 113: Hot off of opening for Modi on tour, comic Elon Altman joins Modi and Periel along with a return by Rabbi Gavriel Bellino. They discuss discovering a late night minyan in the Lower East Side, how Leo almost set the house on fire and the concept of being 'Yotzi.'
Modi's special "Know Your Audience" is available on YouTube now!
For all upcoming shows visit www.modilive.com.
Follow Modi on Instagram at @modi_live.
Episode 113: Hot off of opening for Modi on tour, comic Elon Altman joins Modi and Periel along with a return by Rabbi Gavriel Bellino. They discuss discovering a late night minyan in the Lower East Side, how Leo almost set the house on fire and the concept of being 'Yotzi.'
Modi's special "Know Your Audience" is available on YouTube now!
For all upcoming shows visit www.modilive.com.
Follow Modi on Instagram at @modi_live.
Welcome to Andy's Modi. And we're back and we are in the studio with the holy Rabbi Gav Belino. Shlita May his days shlita. What does shlita mean? I don't know. She kol yamot, yeah, mean? I don't know.
Speaker 3:Shkol Yamo T'yeh.
Speaker 1:Something I don't know.
Speaker 3:By the way, you're going to have to cut this because I know everything. Apparently, I'm a genius and I don't know.
Speaker 1:I by the way, I'm so happy when you're on the podcast, because I always quote something from the Bible and I never have it right. I always make a mistake and people are like that's not what's in the Bible. A mistake, and people are like that's not what's in the Bible. It's v'chachachecha na chachachucha.
Speaker 3:And so, now that you're here, we have it's gotta be like sheyekhia liyaman tavi ma'rufkim or something, right? So he does know. He does that thing where he pretends he doesn't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know, you know what you're like, Talk to me. You're literally like I don't watches RuPaul's Drag Race, but the last winner was.
Speaker 3:This is going to be a compliment.
Speaker 1:I forgot her name. She was an Orthodox rabbi. No, she wasn't an Orthodox rabbi, she was a Taiwanese, or Thailand she was, I don't know. Wow, anyway. But she always pretended like I don't know, I'm not good at dancing, I'm not good at sewing, and she killed it always. You say you don't know, but you know.
Speaker 3:So you don't know, but you know, so don't do that. Just go into the. I know I didn't practice my Rashid T vote before I got here.
Speaker 4:Okay everybody slow down. Can you introduce our guests and talk about your special.
Speaker 1:I was in the middle of introducing our guests.
Speaker 3:He started with a rabbi Periel.
Speaker 1:I started with a rabbi. You start with a rabbi, and then you go to your other guest, which is Elon Altman who is a superstar. We just finished the tour. Know your audience. He was most of the shows he opened. A powerhouse, a power, the perfect. Not just I don't want to say opening act, but an act Tight 12 to 15 to 10. Whatever we needed delivered, stands there, destroys even though he stands at the height of what?
Speaker 2:five foot seven in my wife's shoes five or seven in his wife's shoes.
Speaker 1:He killed. He's great and it was an easy backstage and just fun and always has a tagline. He'll say try this next time on the show and it kills.
Speaker 4:He's a great joke writer. He's a great joke writer and he had a huge joke that has gone viral and has been stolen by many people. In the beginning of the war, you wrote this joke oh yeah, and I'll. The beginning of the war, you wrote this joke oh yeah, and I'll let you say the joke.
Speaker 2:So the joke was it was just a tweet. Really, I'm not surprised that Hamas was hiding in a school. I was just surprised that the school was Harvard.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, hilarious, and at that time this was like December.
Speaker 2:That was a pretty funny joke. But now, with all these encampments and everything, it's like, yeah, it seems like there are actually a lot of supporters out there, and now Columbia might be a better tag on that joke.
Speaker 4:But now you see it everywhere. Exactly that. Oh, but I didn't know it was Columbia and Harvard and UPenn. But whenever I see that I'm always like that's actually Elon Altman's.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, no, don't give me too much credit. I took a lot of heat for it. Also, I have to always explain I mean people who are supportive or into the ideas of what Hamas was doing, not that they're actual full-fledged card-carrying members at these schools with machine guns, right. Like there's a difference there.
Speaker 4:It's a tweet. It's like you know, it's the idea. It's the idea it's to be yoitzy. What's that? I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think so. By the way, listeners, I think when we have the holy rabbi, we should be a little more shticky. Do something with, like, some kind of a shtick, like, do a what does another thing that Periel doesn't know To be Yotzi. Do you know what to be Yotzi?
Speaker 4:on something means.
Speaker 3:What's that? To fulfill an obligation.
Speaker 4:Oh, I wouldn't have guessed that you have something to do.
Speaker 1:right, you got to do something, so like on Shabbat, it's a challah, and even though you're not eating bread or gluten, you take a little piece just to be Yotzi, that you were Yotsi on this thing. Or you go to the wall and you touch the wall and then you leave and you just you know I'm Yotsi, I touched the wall and I left. You know to be just like I did, whatever.
Speaker 3:I needed to do, to do it. No, it's not necessarily. It's not a majority of it doesn't have to be, it's in the voice.
Speaker 4:It's the tone I was going to say.
Speaker 1:Yoytsi Leo uses Yoytsi all the time.
Speaker 4:Really.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes Okay.
Speaker 4:All right, can I tell?
Speaker 1:you what happened at home last night. We're on the phone with our travel agent for abroad travel. His name is Yossi, at high class travel, and yussi speaks english and the bed and every other word he drops in is yiddish and it's it's english and he's coordinating with leo. Leo and him have their own, like they have the words. That goes so I'm gonna get you out thursday and he goes what was that? Thursday thursday, thursday, thursday. Okay, so we're on the phone with him. Leo put in um a. Uh, I met you. Remember we told you we got this um amazing meat from this company that that that sent leo yeah yeah, I forgot the name of it chew chu in the five towns, okay.
Speaker 1:So we had this big piece of meat that leo was like, okay, we're finally dethawing it, let's just just cook it. And we had it. So he put it in the oven and we get back to the table and we're speaking to Yossi, we're trying to figure out Australia, all of a sudden the fire alarms go off and I look at the kitchen. I see flames oh, not like smoke, flames like in the emoji and I'm like, oh my god, there's a fire in the house. I run into the kitchen and this is how Hashem and Mashiach energy works.
Speaker 1:Before Passover I did some cleaning and some rearranging to get ready for the seder, for the, for the meal at the house, and I remembered, oh, we bought a fire extinguisher when we did the renovation. I was nine years old. This fire extinguisher, I went, I go, I know where the fire extinguisher is. I got the fire and put the oven out. Oh my God, flames, go ahead. He's thinking his mind flamed. No, there's two flames Go ahead. He's thinking his mind flamed. No, oh no, there's two flames causing another flame. Moody, I'm an adult, I know how his mind Two flames and a piece of meat.
Speaker 3:I am an adult. Stop it. I would never.
Speaker 1:Two flames and a piece of meat Focus. He'll be here all week, literally. It was insane. Well done, well done.
Speaker 4:Well done. So what happened? Did you ruin the steak?
Speaker 1:The steak was gone but thank God we didn't ruin the oven we caught it.
Speaker 4:You definitely weren't the one who was cooking the steak. You have no idea.
Speaker 1:I think we never used the broiler part. We have a very, very expensive fancy oven.
Speaker 4:That nobody has ever used.
Speaker 3:What do you guys cook?
Speaker 1:Leo makes amazing salmon and amazing rice and healthy stuff, easy stuff. But we never have meat in the house. They sent this to us. We don't know how to cook this, and so Leo put it all in oil and put it right by the boiler.
Speaker 3:By the way.
Speaker 1:The Kup and Pesach. I mean literally. It was like the sacrifice, the burnt offering.
Speaker 2:The burnt offering.
Speaker 1:The burnt offering. Absolutely Luckily we caught it and luckily I knew what that fire extinguisher was.
Speaker 4:First of all, when I go over there, I have to bring my own milk for a cup of coffee. They have, like it's protein shakes and wheatgrass and maybe, if I'm lucky, modi will open me a can of tuna.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I gave her tuna one time. No, but we tell you to order in. We're like what?
Speaker 4:Which is exactly how I am at my house.
Speaker 1:But when you come over. Sometimes we were in the middle of a tour, so we're home for only three days at a time. So how do you shop for three days?
Speaker 4:Do understand, I don't know I don't know, because I don't I. A guy says my husband says that when you come to our house, if he's not there you're gonna starve. Like I do nothing, I don't even offer you a glass of water, their fridge is my favorite.
Speaker 3:Everything the, the little, the little cans. You love a chic can of soda.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so you also drink less of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, of course we have these little Diet Cokes.
Speaker 4:I know.
Speaker 1:If I'm eating pizza or a pretzel, I need to have a Diet Coke. But if you open a full can, now if you have a small can, you're yoitzy. You're yoitzy on the Diet Coke, anything. No, you grew up on the Lower Coke, anything.
Speaker 3:No, you grew up on the Lower East Side. Have you heard any of these words?
Speaker 2:I've never heard Yotzi before, but it's one of those things where, when you hear a word for the first time, now I'm going to go out in the street and hear everyone.
Speaker 1:Even though we're in Chinatown right now, I'm going to hear people saying Yotzi, no, now you'll hear it all over by the way, speaking of lower east side and you growing up in the lower east side, arthur and I were at casa chipriani of course you were two weeks ago, whatever it was.
Speaker 1:And um, we're arthur luxembourg, who helped sponsor the podcast and is a friend and family period, and um, we're still in casa chipriani says to me I need to say Kaddish tonight for Randy, my wife's father. Her father passed away on this date and so we're sitting in Casa Cipriani Author's in full Arthur, like purple suit, shirt, this, the orange shoes, the whole nine yards. Not orange, whatever it was, like Willy Wonka's accountant, no, but like stunning, amazing, you know nothing like okay, and I go to him where are you planning on saying kaddish tonight?
Speaker 1:he goes there's a 10 10 minion in the lower east side on um. What's that street? Broom, no broadway yeah, and east broadway, but like very down by you, by almost by the fdr, and I go okay, I'm in, it's down the block, henry street, oh yeah henry street it's a forgotten street.
Speaker 1:It's a forgotten street and it's this minion. It's all the way downstairs. Now this is, uh, a wednesday or whatever night it was. Imagine. Everybody looks there just like with the white shirt, the suit, that's like the sun hit it so hard for so many years. It's like a different. It's like purple almost the blues are purple and there's a rabbi and there's, but this is a minion like they. They all know each other where they live. They see each other at three times a day on shabbat, non-stop. Me and arthur show up into with no yarmulkes and they don Arthur show up with no yarmulkes and they don't have a bin with yarmulkes because anybody going to this shtiebel has a yarmulke on their head. Shtiebel, you know what a shtiebel is? It's a small synagogue, small synagogue within a community.
Speaker 4:Like a church has a steeple. I was going to ask what a yarmulke was. Nothing on that.
Speaker 1:So one of the kids, they recognized me and they were in shock, and Arthur's in this bright, gorgeous suit, and the kids took from under their hat and gave us each a yarmulke.
Speaker 4:They had a double yarmulke.
Speaker 1:No, they had a yarmulke, there's probably more asbestos in this steeple than all of Arthur's kids, the steep stable looks like. By the way, it has a sign that says membership $100 for, like I go for $200. You could be the president. It was like it's so old. It's so, but it's. They had a minion 10-10.
Speaker 4:Why at 10-10 at night? I?
Speaker 1:guess there's people who need to say they just have the whole Every night. It's a minoriv, minyan, it's the evening service. So whatever you were busy with you couldn't get to a service or you weren't by Mincha Mariv, but by the afternoon and the evening service together, this is a 10-10. This happens every night, every night. I was blown away that this exists and it's underneath, like it's literally half a block from your front door, and it's underneath, like it's literally half a block from your front door.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this exists, and it's like another world within a world.
Speaker 4:And it's 10 men. There were a little bit more, but it has to be 10 men.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes, yes. It was just what a New York experience. I'm going from Casa Cipriani into a basement on Henry Street to say Kaddish for Randy's father. So what do you guys do for?
Speaker 3:yarmulkes. They gave us the boys.
Speaker 1:There's like a little yeshiva in down there and they all just picked up their little hats and gave us the yarmulke that was underneath and they just davened with the hat. That's really cute, but it was a moment.
Speaker 4:Let's see.
Speaker 1:It was a moment, and then yeah it was just like a New York kind of a moment. Where else are? You finding a 10-10 minion.
Speaker 2:Anyway, I'm picturing like at the Port Authority. You get like the bus schedule and it's like there's like a minion in one of those.
Speaker 3:There's apps.
Speaker 1:Make sure you're talking to the microphone.
Speaker 3:Okay, it's hard to see you, I know, so bring it closer to you.
Speaker 1:I don't touch things.
Speaker 4:Can women do minions doctor? You can do whatever you want Do whatever you want.
Speaker 1:You want to organize your own minion.
Speaker 4:I don't know, I'm just curious. Yeah, you can have a women's Tvila group? Yeah totally that's nice. A women's Tvila group.
Speaker 1:Okay, so talk to me the tour we had together. What was your favorite show of the tour?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. So the tour was unbelievable. It was such a dream to be at these amazing venues, to be opening for you, and the crowds were so great. I think we must have performed for like 20,000 people.
Speaker 4:More. We had it all up. Yeah, it's crazy A little more.
Speaker 2:So my favorite maybe. I mean they all had their own different vibes and everything. Kennedy Center was like the most prestigious. That was maybe like just the coolest venue. You felt like you were there with the president watching you.
Speaker 1:Right, but I think there was one show that was beyond insane.
Speaker 2:Well, the one outside of Philadelphia, which I forget the name of that town, keswick, the Keswick Theater, in a town you'd never heard of. It was from 1910, never been touched it looked like an old movie theater but it fit a ton of people in it. It fit.
Speaker 1:We had, I think, 1, I think 1400 people and even though it was a long theater it was, it was kind of like not too high right, it was long, but there was no balcony, so just it was long as far as you could see so elon gets on and gets his first joke.
Speaker 1:I forgot where you usually get your first laugh. And then I'm in the, I'm on the, I'm on the wings and you, the laughter comes through and literally pushed me back a little bit. It was so strong. I go oh my God, this is going to be an insane show. And then you killed. I went on and I was riding this high and they had this statue on the sides of a woman. She looked like she was flying or whatever.
Speaker 2:It was like a winged, some kind of like Art Deco, art Deco, yeah the muse.
Speaker 1:And I knew what joke I was going to use with it. I go let's give it up for Jesus Christ's sister. And I saved it to the end because I knew, once I would say it, everybody would be looking at the whole show. That's right. And it was such a. And it was even funnier because I was wearing a suit that I was like done with. I was like I knew I was going to sweat through this suit and it was a suit that I, an old suit that I was ready to let go of. And I spoke to the stagehands at the end of the show before the show. I go when I came down, they see me in schmattes. And then you come down in a suit. They go oh you look good, it's a great suit. I go yeah, I'm throwing it out after tonight's show. And they go really. And they pretend that was our banter. I get off after the meet and greet, they just thought that's what I do after I throw my suit away.
Speaker 1:It was just that.
Speaker 2:Suit was done. You could have donated it to the guys at the Henry Street Minion. It was so hilarious. They're like we could get 30 more years out of this thing, Before that show we had this.
Speaker 1:So we get to this town. It's called Keswick. You've ever heard of it? You have a place in the Poconos. No, it's nowhere near there. Okay, Pennsylvania is one of the biggest.
Speaker 3:It's literally Australia. It's Australia. I have no idea where anything is.
Speaker 1:I'm so dumb. We get to this town it's called Keswick, it's really cute. It's like a little Empty town but like not fancy. And we got there early because we wanted to get out of the city without traffic. And we did the sound check. We had two hours to kill. It was 6 o'clock and they said there's a great Greek restaurant across the street. And we go across the street and empty. There's not a human being, it's a massive.
Speaker 4:No one.
Speaker 1:Not a human being. Why? Because it's 6 o'clock.
Speaker 2:No, it was four o'clock. It was four o'clock, yeah, it was so early, it was four o'clock.
Speaker 1:We were four hours before the show. It was four o'clock and we got there and like empty this restaurant, Just tables of chairs and tables. And we go hi, we are four and we'd like to eat and the guy literally gets out his reservation list Like Yardless.
Speaker 3:Cirque. Yeah, he's flipping through pages doing calculations in his head.
Speaker 1:It's like we're not going to be able to seat you till 1010. He finally seats us down and we eat. He goes oh I'm sorry we have a booking for later on Like as if we were going to sit and eat for six hours. It was so crazy and the little things like that happened on the tour was really cute and Yvonne told me a great story at your birthday about when you were young.
Speaker 4:You saw Modi perform oh.
Speaker 2:God, yeah, it was one of these hotels in the Catskills, I don't know which one, it was the Concord or the Raleigh or something like that and Modi was the comedian there, which was so different, because usually every comedian there is 90 years old.
Speaker 1:Back then I was the young one, I was the young guy and we had Stewie Stone and Freddie Roman and Malzie Lawrence and all of those guys and once in a while it'd be me and they and like, once in a while it'd be me and like, wow, where's the young guy come from? Um and um. But but you know, I don't know if we talked about this, but when we did the show at town hall, some woman came up to me with her son and my. I had a CD which she had and she said to me um, this is my son, he's 26. In 1990, whatever. How old were you? Oh, 1990, 1996. He goes how old were you? I said I was 26. I bought this from you when you were 26. I was carrying him when I saw your show.
Speaker 1:So that was so sweet, yes, nothing, oh, that's sweet, sweet, that's sweet. I'll open for you next okay, god bless me.
Speaker 4:Oh, right, oh so god asked you. I texted you and I said can you come back, because you're always such a big hit? And you said I don't know, it's tight, it's.
Speaker 3:Shabbat? No, it's not Shabbat, it's like Arab Shabbat. I have to get ready for Shabbat and, by the way, and I said, why don't you get your?
Speaker 4:priorities straight. I mean, so I and then Moody was like what are you talking about? Do you have any idea how much stuff he has to do to prepare for Shabbat?
Speaker 3:First of all, I teach and I speak and I you know we have like workers come to the synagogue and like I want to make sure that everything's in good order. And I cook. I cook for my family, I cook for the synagogue. This week is Shlissel Shabbos.
Speaker 4:So I'm very busy, I'm sorry, the.
Speaker 3:Kichalah Right oh hold on Grab the.
Speaker 1:Kichalah.
Speaker 4:Hold on, we're going to do that for a minute.
Speaker 1:We're going to do that in a minute, but just so you understand, he's cooking a chulint, which is like the stew one that's vegetarian and let me tell you they're delicious. I'm not kidding, it's not just a custom. And he cooks them and there's food and there's drinks, and there's drinks and there's drinks, and he's got to prepare all of that. So when you call him on a Friday, it's insane that he's here right now because there's so much to do and he prepares a Dvar Torah. He prepares a word, not like he doesn't wing it, like okay, it's the Parsha of whatever. Why did Hashem choose to come down now? Because he's Hashem, he does what he wants.
Speaker 1:You know, Very good, by the way, it's very good, literally, he doesn't just wing it, he has a whole thing and he builds up and for him to be here on a Friday before Shabbos.
Speaker 3:we thank you and we appreciate. I love this.
Speaker 1:I want to be the Andy to your Conan.
Speaker 3:I love this.
Speaker 1:Andy, to your what.
Speaker 3:To your Conan.
Speaker 2:I love this Sidekick.
Speaker 3:A sidekick, a sidekick, I'm a sidekick. What is a shlissel? Shlissel challah. So it's a ridiculous thing. The Shabbat after Pesach you bake challah with a key on it.
Speaker 4:With a key on it. I thought in it.
Speaker 3:On it.
Speaker 1:Or you make the challah in the shape of a key. It never looks that way Instead of being like oh wow, I'm going to learn something new. This is going to be wonderful. She's already like why would you hack this?
Speaker 2:is why people hate us. Put a key in your challah.
Speaker 1:Just go from the other angle of like I can't wait to hear this. This is so amazing.
Speaker 3:You're opening up doors of I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like an actual key.
Speaker 3:Okay. So it used to be that they would do it with an actual key and then, like some kid choked and they changed it, so Zayde lost his teeth. There was no teeth shabby. I don't know, that's your own, I have no idea. It used to be that you put a key in it.
Speaker 2:And then it was like why waste the key?
Speaker 3:I don't know. I don't know how it happened.
Speaker 2:They use the key because we're landlords.
Speaker 3:We have lots of keys.
Speaker 2:Whatever you have lying around you use.
Speaker 3:S. What do you have lying around to use? It's a solo driver. Shabit, warden, shabit.
Speaker 1:Oh god, now it's a key fob the key is like the key to open up doors and all of that. You just went through Passover.
Speaker 3:It's the first it's hummus Periel, it's the first, it's the first bread real bread.
Speaker 1:Just like it's a key to open up doors. Just like are you a baker?
Speaker 3:do you bake, are you?
Speaker 4:a baker. What do you think?
Speaker 3:I think not.
Speaker 4:Do you think correct?
Speaker 3:Do you cook? How would you have handled the steak situation at Modi's house?
Speaker 4:I would never have gotten into that situation to begin with.
Speaker 1:I personally was shooketh when he un. He fought it and like I was like and he did it.
Speaker 4:So he did it so like confidently, like oil and yeah, and salt and pepper, and massaging it into it and puts it in the oven yeah, I don't, I don't, literally I don't I'm not gonna curse, but when I, um, I decided that I would marry guy, when I understood that he, amongst the other things that I like the way that he did, that was a nice way to say it, lovely. That he also cooked. He's a chef, and, mike, I'm just surrounded by good looking men who are excellent chefs.
Speaker 1:And me.
Speaker 3:Who else do you have?
Speaker 4:I have a A batch, yeah Her husband's in the food.
Speaker 1:Gav is a cook.
Speaker 4:Gav is a full-on cook chef.
Speaker 1:whatever you want to say, Amazing food, amazing, everything it's.
Speaker 4:Shkoyach, and so I always say it's. You know, when everybody comes over and Guy's in the kitchen.
Speaker 3:And what are you up to? What are you doing? I come for vibes. I read a book. It's dirty. What do you do? I'm vibes.
Speaker 4:I get invited just because I'm so much fun and a pleasure and a joy to have around.
Speaker 3:I think so, I think so. No, of course we love you.
Speaker 4:I'm usually on the balcony chain-smoking cigarettes.
Speaker 1:No, you're not. Oh, stop it. Oh my gross Ew.
Speaker 4:Her husband gets the food and she gets in the way she gets, in the way I'm like. The men are where they are supposed to be in the kitchen.
Speaker 3:Everything has to be a women's studies class for you.
Speaker 4:I mean not if you're not a woman Like, if you guys you know you could just get to be like the dominant, you know macho one, then no, you don't have to fight for your place.
Speaker 1:Can we speak about you and I? This is going to air probably, maybe after on June 4th. You and I are doing A conversation, a conversation at the Eshel.
Speaker 3:It's their fundraiser, fundraiser dinner interview event.
Speaker 1:I don't know exactly what it is. I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 3:No, I mean, it's amazing that you do it. Eshel is I think we've spoken about this before Eshel is an organization that takes care of the Orthodox gays primarily, and those associated with them. So they do like parents retreats. They're helping this unique subset of the Jewish community that needs some help and it's a pretty diverse group that goes to their stuff and they have professionals that come in and offer services and part of it is just socializing and building community within a safe space, and it's a remarkable thing. I think it's like 13 years old. I think it's their bar mitzvah year.
Speaker 4:Oh, and yeah, that's incredible. That's why you're my favorite rabbi.
Speaker 3:It's a really nice thing. Did we tell the story about when we had them at the synagogue With the cake?
Speaker 1:I think we did that, but it was our first episode, I think we spoke about that, the first episode.
Speaker 3:Whatever, check it out in the archive.
Speaker 1:No, tell it right away, quickly and easily.
Speaker 3:Very quickly. We had a Shabbat tone and it was really to build like, create a safe space for dialogue. And parents came and it was this whole nice thing and parents were coming and we announced it and it was good for the synagogue and it was good for downtown. So I thought I'm at a wedding and I check my phone and it's a 718 number. I'm terrified of picking up my phone when it's a number I don't know and also when it's a 718 number, then no good could come of this conversation.
Speaker 1:It's a 718. It's from Brooklyn like 1980s, number right, yeah.
Speaker 3:So I went straight to voicemail and it was. It was a rabbi who was like very upset with me that I was holding this event. And then I like then like it rang again, it rang again, it rang again and like I started getting emails and I started getting like actual threats, um uh, that we would be excised from the Orthodox community. And I didn't think this was like such a great moment of progress. I mean, other Orthodox synagogues had hosted them before and I didn't think that there was some kind that, by virtue of where my synagogue happened to be, like close to the Lower East Side, I didn't think that I was going to be in trouble with like a whole neighborhood of rabbis the 1010 Minion. I didn't think I was going to be in trouble with like a whole neighborhood of rabbis the 1010 Minion. I didn't think I was going to be in trouble for hosting this event.
Speaker 3:So they ended up like how did they deal with it? They wrote a letter and they wrote a letter on like 10 by 17 and they all signed the bottom of it. There were like 15 signatures, super cute. And they put it up in all the synagogues and in the. The butcher wouldn't let them but in, like the supermarket and like on a few like bus station, like bus uh shelters, I mean it was crazy. So I had my assistant go down to the lower east side take a picture of it. I sent the image to my friend, uh, richie heie Heisler at Butterflake, and he printed it onto a sheet cake.
Speaker 3:I had them decorated with rainbows and that's what we served at the shop at the, at the at the, at the dinner, and I said I sent a picture to one of them that I knew. I said you know, tell your friends, um, you know, like this, this, this is what we think of the letter and that you know I was able to do that also. Listen, I can smell a bully a mile away as a bully. I can smell my own. So I know I also know, you know it's like a heckler, a little bit like you, can't you?
Speaker 3:you can't just like meet them head on but you can't meet them like head on right, it's not going to be a dialogue and it's not going to be cute. So you have to like get around them a little bit and you also have to show that you're unfazed by it. Ps, I was super fazed by it. I was so upset because I didn't. I didn't want to. You know what I think about it. This is a community that needs support, and if they're willing to look at our shuls, what a blessing that is. That's amazing. So we have to go out of our way to make them feel safe, so to let them know that not only that they're welcome, but I say we prefer them. There's so much love, leo and I came to that dinner.
Speaker 1:We were there and it was hysterical that that letter was on the cake and just people are keeping Shabbat, they're coming for Kiddush and coming for a meal, it's so great.
Speaker 4:I have two things to say about that. There we go. Number one and I have said this for many, many years, even before I had kids that any mother is so lucky to have a gay son, that every mother should be blessed to have a son who is gay. Why, why, why are you doing that? That's very broad it's not that broad sometimes there's.
Speaker 1:You know it could be a kid, it's not like a not like a well-dressed gay no, but like a, oh, like a, the wrong gay.
Speaker 1:Well, the term that we use is shitty gay. That's the term. Some gays are just shitty gays. They're just like, not like. And again, I always say you can always judge the character of a woman by the gaze she keeps. You obviously have the highest standard. You have me and leo as your gaze and you have other gays in your life. That was what those two you have like top shelf gays I do it some of them are like listen, this it's not.
Speaker 1:You're blessed. You be blessed with a child who has mashiach energy, whether he's gay or not, and that's, that's that.
Speaker 4:Okay, but we're talking about something specific right now. There's nothing worse and I can I have empathy for my mother-in-law that some bitch is going to come and steal your beautiful son from you. So if you have a gay son, he's never going to leave you. He's not true. You are so good to your mother. All of my gays are so good to their mother.
Speaker 1:My mom. I don't know if she would say that my mom says Leo is better to her.
Speaker 3:She calls him. His mother has a lot to say. No, so you gave her Leo.
Speaker 1:What kind of a gift is that I gave her another grandchild? Hello, that's the act.
Speaker 4:And the other part is is thou doth protest too much? Anybody, who is that anti-gay, who really is? It bothers them so much has something going on within them.
Speaker 1:It bothers them so much has something going on within themselves. If you're putting effort to get every rabbi's signature on it, it's so insane.
Speaker 4:Those are the men you find in roadside motels with underage boys, ilan.
Speaker 1:I have not.
Speaker 2:We didn't hear from you. Those accusations about me at those hotels are not true. I don't know what you guys heard. Those videos it's Tobey Maguire. It's not me, it's social progress.
Speaker 3:It's going to wax and wane. That's the nature of life. Now we realize. Now we understand how it's a safety concern. But you're really paving the way.
Speaker 4:As an Orthodox rabbi, I've said this to you off camera, off air too, you are really at the forefront and paving the way, and it is such an-.
Speaker 3:I'm really not. There are a lot of us.
Speaker 1:Are you going to call me a tzaddik again? It's better, I was going to call you a tzaddik again.
Speaker 3:It's better than you think it. It's really it's better. It's better than you think. It's getting more tolerant than than than than you think, than you realize. This is again, that's an evolution and you understand, people didn't weren't raised with my secular values and I I got, I got both. I was lucky and for me it was a negotiation. But for other people, that negotiation, that conversation that they're having to make it work and make it make sense, so they don't have that and you know they have a whole religious edifice that they have to protect At the end of the day. I think that you know 10 out of the 15 names on this letter. They just wanted to have their names with, like, more important rabbis, like ooh, we signed the letter.
Speaker 1:Did they sign, like John?
Speaker 3:Hancocky, yeah, of course, one guy just made an X.
Speaker 2:You can tell which one was gay by how they signed right. Yeah, for sure they dyed their eyes with a little heart.
Speaker 1:That's definitely the gay guy. Rainbow a little rainbow on top of his.
Speaker 4:Every letter in a different, different color. Yeah, what was I, what we were talking?
Speaker 1:about before. We're talking about this, like how jewish names if you're safari, sometimes it sounds really hot and sexy and sometimes if you're ashkenazi, it sounds like so, nebuchadnezzar talking about the name yohanan. Imagine someone because, hi, I'm your shmi yohanan. That's hot yohanan, it's equal yohan, or Hanan, or it's hot In Yiddish, the guy's name is Yeichenen. If someone comes to you and says, hi, I'm Yeichenen, you say I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that that's the name they gave you. It's so horrible.
Speaker 4:Sounds like you're choking.
Speaker 3:Wait, this is like this is also this is the thing.
Speaker 1:This is again stoned on the treadmill. There's Jewish stoned on the treadmill. Um, there's jewish names that have to have a last name. So we have a friend, michael hoffman, and we can never say michael, yeah, of course it's michael hoffman, michael hoffman, it's, it's just it. Just it goes together. You know, jeffrey epstein, harvey weinstein. You can't say just harvey, it's not just jeffrey, it's like it needs the last name. You know, jeffrey Epstein, harvey Weinstein. You can't say just Harvey, it's not just Jeffrey, it's like it needs the last name. And then in the Sephardic world, where they always name the name, the first name and the second name are first names, like Omer, adam, chaim Moshe, it's like the same is that really a?
Speaker 1:thing yeah, for me, when you just the ring of it, the ring of it, it's like it needs that you have to say the second name, right, right. Sometimes if the name, if the Hebrew name is so horrible, you just go with the last name, like, give me a horrible, like like a difficult. Let's say bertrand, his name is bertrand and it's just so annoying and he, he doesn't want to go by bert, so it's bertrand which is just an annoying name, bertrand for a stutterer.
Speaker 1:It's one of the worst names, bertrand. Everything is stuck. I can't breathe. So you go by his last name, greenblatt. If you're choosing Greenblatt as a default, it's bad, it's really bad. I think this is a new bit. Elon, that's good. It's good name stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Also Jewish names are tough because autocorrect Phones are kind of anti-Semitic because they never know these real Jewish-y kind of names and they all have different words talk literally Hebrew into it while it was on the Yiddish.
Speaker 1:And then they had one update and it destroyed everything. I had Mashiach energy, I had Shabbat Shalom, I had people's names, I had all kinds of like Right, because you do talk to text. I do talk to text and there was one update that destroyed it.
Speaker 4:It made it so hard, oh yeah, because your texts come through and they're insane. Right like half of his text. I'm like what is going on?
Speaker 3:oh, modi text, oh, that's a whole, that's a whole thing.
Speaker 1:So we told him, we told him, we told gav, we yesterday we're going to do an episode on our own. I said, see if ilan's around, see if gav's around, see whoever's around if they, if they're kind of free. So I said tomorrow we have we tape before you.
Speaker 4:We had the Liat Korin and Shani Granot. Liat's cousin is Omer Shemtov, who's a hostage in Gaza.
Speaker 1:Right, so that was the podcast we did before and Gav hits me right away. He goes, he said I've never been held hostage but I have been kept for a double taping of a podcast Because last time he was here he just stayed for two podcasts and again, pause for the laughter. We pause for the laughter with the families of the hostages. It was an insane episode before you guys.
Speaker 4:It'll hit me later on how insane that was, and also the fact that you're like best friends with Liat's husband.
Speaker 3:Oh, we're gym bros. Yeah, of course Gym bros. Is that who?
Speaker 1:you are, we are. Does he also drop weights on his face? He does not.
Speaker 3:He's risk averse and I'm not Risk-averse. No, he's the best. Jim Bro, is he also 4 am like you no he's like 7, like 6.30, maybe AM. He's early, yeah, but he's not this you know.
Speaker 1:No, that's the special Jim Bro. Right by Jim Bro. He is right by Jim Bro.
Speaker 3:He owns the Bialy store. By you, by you Really?
Speaker 1:Oh does he? He owns Cozars yes.
Speaker 3:Cozars.
Speaker 4:What a small world.
Speaker 3:That's so funny, that's so great. What a small world.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So he's also very afraid of 718 numbers.
Speaker 4:Yes she also grew up um her grandparents, I think, live in my parents building in queens, which is also in regal park in regal park.
Speaker 3:Very small what a small world, wait, we have to talk the event. So what are we doing? So?
Speaker 1:what are we doing? I don't know. I just figured it's I.
Speaker 4:Do we know how long?
Speaker 1:it is no idea.
Speaker 4:You guys should definitely prepare for it. Live on the podcast, though it's a great. No, I don't know.
Speaker 1:If people have ideas, we should prepare questions and answers and all that. We shouldn't just go in there raw. Yeah, of course.
Speaker 2:That's the name of the event.
Speaker 1:Raw that happens. Actual dinner raw, that's the name of the event Raw Raw.
Speaker 4:Raw, raw, raw conversation With Modi and Rabbi Bolina.
Speaker 1:Invite all the rabbis from the Lower East Side down there.
Speaker 4:Nice, what is raw, rabbis and.
Speaker 2:Rabbis against Women. Women Also called rabbis rabbis, oh that's.
Speaker 1:Hysterical rabbis against women, that's so funny by the way you know I, I heard an amazing dvar. You know who gives amazing little small dvar.
Speaker 4:Torah is what cheating on me cheating on I was thinking of you guys all morning. Why? Because my son had a Dvar Torah this morning and I went to the synagogue in his school.
Speaker 1:He gave yeah. What was his message?
Speaker 4:That he used to be lazy and not do his Hebrew homework and because he's in the native Hebrew speaking class, the expectations on him were higher and he eventually realized that he should start doing his homework and he took that responsibility on himself and Mora Chava is not mad at him anymore. But it was so sweet. And there were four kids who gave a d'var Torah. I took pictures. I thought of you guys, and there were four kids who gave a Dvar Torah. I took pictures. I thought of you guys, and then I started thinking I have no idea what a Dvar Torah is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like that. You made that very obvious, because that was like literally group therapy.
Speaker 1:Dvar, dvar, le Daber From Dvar.
Speaker 4:Oh, I thought like a thing.
Speaker 1:Dvar.
Speaker 4:Dvar.
Speaker 3:No, like D'bur.
Speaker 4:Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, d'bur Torah, d'var, torah, d'var Torah but what it D'var Torah is like Pluralize it, pluralize it, d'vrei, d'vrei, torah, d'vrei, torah, d'vrei, torah.
Speaker 1:It's so insane how Ashkenazi and Sephardic sound when they give the Dvar Torahs. Ashkenazi sound like so a little sissy. No.
Speaker 4:Like a shitty gay.
Speaker 1:No no, no, no, no, but like, okay. So in this week's parasha we learn how that it's not like. It's not that Hashem was. They always use, they always say the verb in Hebrew so Hashem was Hailech, he was going. Why do we say he was Hailech and not Yared? Because Hashem can't be Yared.
Speaker 3:Meanwhile, you're talking such nonsense right now. I'm not.
Speaker 1:I was like listening and then the guy is like literally it sounds borderline Hamas. It's like, what is this? It's very that.
Speaker 3:No, no, of course. No, it's also I like the speakers when they don't have the conclusion. So then like, just like they'll make their point when they don't have the conclusion, so then like, just like they'll make their point but, they can't just get off the stage, so there has to be like bim hera, bim minu amid or right, no, every and.
Speaker 1:And because Abraham was in his tent, we should all be with Moshiach in the tent, and that in the tent and in the.
Speaker 4:That's how they end everything. What is this? Are you guys going to explain what this is?
Speaker 1:Go ahead If anybody should be describing it.
Speaker 3:Sure, you're trying to present something thoughtful about Torah, about religion, about spirituality. That's Devar Torah, a word of Torah, so it could be like a one minute thing. It could be. It's usually short. It should be short, right, because it's not like a sermon. You know what a sermon is.
Speaker 4:But it could be a lot. You're talking to me like I'm like developmentally disabled.
Speaker 3:I don't know what you know. There's a lot you don't know. You need a lot of work. You know what a sermon is Like that son of yours. You need to buckle down and do some work.
Speaker 4:You're like learning something, like get some wisdom. Yes, wrapping knowledge.
Speaker 1:Hopefully something you walk away with that you can use in your day.
Speaker 4:A lesson.
Speaker 1:So Rabbi Gross, dina's father, rabbi Yokel Yisrael Gross, he is the best. He is sometimes long-winded, sometimes he just gives you like a little nugget, a little nugget of information. So Rabbi Gross, during Passover, turns to me and goes Mazel. He goes. You know what Mazel means? I go luck. He goes. No, it's Reshetavis, it's acronym, mazal is makom. So a place time and speech. If you're in the right place at the right time and you say the right thing, you have luck, that's mazelot.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's a Torah.
Speaker 1:Finished.
Speaker 4:By the way.
Speaker 1:No need to you walk away with something.
Speaker 4:So why did it take you three hours to?
Speaker 3:explain that to me. He's absolutely right, because mazelot really means it doesn't mean luck, it refers to the constellations, the mazalot right, so, and that's like a temper, that's a time-based sort of thing. Whenever you say mazal tov, what we're saying is that the timing should be right. That's right. We started like differentiating mazal tov and the sha'atov right. It really means the same thing the, the constellation, something could happen to you mazal tov because if it wasn't the right timing, then it's nothing.
Speaker 2:One second, anything. Yeah. Once you started talking about constellations, I got into it because I'm a big astrology buff. There you go. Now it's religion.
Speaker 1:Guys, this is religion to me, the best thing about Ilan Altman is he could also not talk and then turn to him Boom. He's literally in the green room. That's him. He gets in there like this and then boom, watch me and Leo taste the Celsius drinks that they bring us and poke around with the Caesar salad and he just sits like this Line line boom.
Speaker 2:And then back into hibernation by the way.
Speaker 3:that's got to be part of what makes him I mean he's such a talent. That's got to be. He's such a talent. Oh, that's gotta be he's so easy to be around.
Speaker 1:He's so lovely, a pleasure to be around. Thank you, pleasure. He's not having a meltdown and his wife comes and she's adorable, sarah. And then his family comes, his parents come and they're so sweet and the father just bought a honda odyssey oh, he's so happy.
Speaker 2:he was brand new honda odyssey. He drove it to the tarrytown show and it was parked right outside Cherry red, by the way.
Speaker 1:You want people to know you got a Sparty car.
Speaker 3:Honda Odyssey, Lower East Side. How is he not like an ultra orthodox Jew?
Speaker 2:He was definitely in that Minion on Henry Street.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, no, have you ever driven a Honda Odyssey.
Speaker 4:I have not.
Speaker 1:It is so much fun. Dina had one for a while and I used to drive it and I don't know why there were a few times I drove it and you feel like you're driving a bus. I have all these seats, you are, you can literally have like and there's television sets and there's like, it's like a, it's like a catering hall. Everything becomes a seat. The ashtray becomes a seat. It's so much fun she now drives brand new Range Rovers only.
Speaker 1:But this is when the kids were really young. The door opens up, it's like you're in a helicopter in Vietnam. I know that car in.
Speaker 3:T-Deck. You see someone with the keys, not my car. They're like. You see someone with the keys, not my car, not my car.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're all guys.
Speaker 3:Honda, they're all Honda, like silver Honda.
Speaker 4:I think Juanita Dorman has one of those I think so, for all the kids.
Speaker 2:It's the best minivan there is.
Speaker 4:I'm still stuck on this pleasure to be around.
Speaker 1:I don't think anybody has ever said that about me. I said it one time.
Speaker 2:About. I don't think anybody has ever said that about me. I said it one time About you people say she's a character, she's a character. She's a real piece of work that broad no they walk away.
Speaker 1:Makhshifa, you're not a Makhshifa.
Speaker 3:She's a real tough broad.
Speaker 1:A tough cookie.
Speaker 4:I should start smoking again.
Speaker 1:No, no. What do you smoke? What do you think? You are a pleasure to be around. You're fun. There's a.
Speaker 4:There's a difference between fun and a pleasure to be around. What was your cigarette? Cool.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:Parliament.
Speaker 1:Then Marlboro Lights.
Speaker 2:Virginia Slims.
Speaker 1:Virginia Slims Look at her.
Speaker 2:And she would have one of those long cigarette holders, that's something a shitty gay would smoke.
Speaker 1:Go ahead.
Speaker 4:Marlboro Lights. Really Modi? Come on, so the Marlboro Major.
Speaker 2:Major. Oh, I know, I know the Indian one. What's it called? Oh, american Spirit.
Speaker 1:American Spirit. I was, in my head, an Israeli woman with this.
Speaker 2:My mom used to smoke Parliament cigarettes we had that in the house all the time. Did you know?
Speaker 1:in Israel that brand is called Knesset it's true, nice, we will be at the West Hampton Theatre. We done anything.
Speaker 3:In conclusion, we're doing this event. It's going to be great. When is it?
Speaker 1:June 4th, june 4th. And then we are going from there straight to Cipriani downtown to dance with the Hatzalah United. Hatzalah, we're going to probably come there super late when they start the music, and all that.
Speaker 4:Oh, I'm going to that.
Speaker 1:So we'll see you there. But anyway, um actual uh event, it's gonna be also live streamed, right? Lovely, I think. So we'll get that information it's and we'll we'll post it out.
Speaker 4:Um uh we are um actively running with the modi cycle oh, how are we? Doing for united by now, and probably what we've done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah modi cycle yeah, so contact, perriel, if you want to donate for a modi cycle, which is a, a moped motorcycle that hutsala has um where they can get to people immediately and help them when they're in distress and heart attack. Obviously, united Hutzala.
Speaker 4:You all know what that is, but this one's going to have a picture of Modi's face on it, yep.
Speaker 1:Modi, cycle Modi cycle.
Speaker 4:If you donate, the first three people to donate $10,000 is going to get a ticket to one of your shows.
Speaker 1:Your choice. Whatever show you want it could be. The Beacon. It could be Yerushalayim, it could be wherever you want and when you're.
Speaker 4:Just put your contact, periel, yeah, you can DM me about it on Instagram at Periel. And also, while you're choking to death, somebody will tell you a joke Beautiful.
Speaker 1:How hilarious.
Speaker 2:They're also doing one for you, right, you could donate to get a Peri-Helicopter, a Peri-Helicopter.
Speaker 4:That's so good.
Speaker 1:Yuan, I'm telling you, it's so funny.
Speaker 2:Folks, it's nice, because the sound of the rotors drowns out her voice.
Speaker 4:My husband's going to buy that all by himself.
Speaker 1:He's like while she's talking.
Speaker 3:No, instead of a siren, it's a woman can drive this too A woman can drive this too, I used to smoke.
Speaker 1:I wrote a book Two books, two books, not Gov plugging your books Three books on the way.
Speaker 4:Yes, the third one is on the way On main. Okay, bodilifecom Shaltova.
Speaker 1:Okay, the special is out. Know your audience. It's on YouTube. Make sure you watch it. And with your family Again, if your grandmother, grandfather, saba Safda Zadie Bubba don't have a way to watch it, be the nephew or the grandchild that goes over and watches it with them on your iPad or on your TV. Pair it up, whatever you do, help them out technologically. They should have a laugh. So that's Know your Audience on YouTube. It's also still on Amazon and modilivecom for the shows. We are in West Hampton on June I'm sorry, july 28th and we are in Jerusalem June 16th and we are in Atlantic City and we have many, many more shows and there's a new tour coming out called Pause for Laughter, and everything's on modilivecom. I cannot thank Ilan Altman for being on the podcast and they can catch all your material and all your dates on.
Speaker 2:You can go to my website, elonaltmancom, and find me on Twitter at Ilan Altman and on Instagram at Ilanstagram. Okay.
Speaker 1:And the holy rabbi of the Sixth Street Synagogue, which is at Sixth Street. It's written out S-I-X-T-H yes, sixth Street Synagogue. And come down for a minion Sponsor, a kiddish. Make that a place that you go to. You don't have to get dressed up. You can go like any of us are dressed. No one needs you in a suit. But if you want to do a suit, you can. If you want to do a strimel, do a strimel. You know what that is? The fur hat. If that makes you feel welcome to be there, do it, and people do. We have people showing up with that.
Speaker 2:But can women wear that there?
Speaker 1:They do, that's who wears it. Okay, good, okay. Thank you very much for listening, modilifecom. Let us know what you think. Let us know what you think. Let us know what you think I sound like a we don't care what you think. We don't care what you think. Email Periel. That's why we have our email Periel.
Speaker 3:She'll deal with you. I will block you so fast. She'll let you know how much she cares.
Speaker 1:Bye everybody. Thank you very much for listening.