AND HERE’S MODI
Leo Returns
Episode 115: Leo returns to the pod after a long hiatus.
Send us Modi Mail!
118A Orchard St.
PMB #208
New York, NY 10002
Modi's special "Know Your Audience" is available on YouTube now!
For all upcoming shows visit www.modilive.com.
Follow Modi on Instagram at @modi_live.
Episode 115: Leo returns to the pod after a long hiatus.
Send us Modi Mail!
118A Orchard St.
PMB #208
New York, NY 10002
Modi's special "Know Your Audience" is available on YouTube now!
For all upcoming shows visit www.modilive.com.
Follow Modi on Instagram at @modi_live.
Welcome to. And here's Modi. And here we are. And here's Modi, and this is. You know, there's a prayer you say in the Jewish religion when you haven't seen somebody in a long time, you say Mechaya HaMeitim, who brings back the dead, even though they're not dead. But like when you don't see someone for a long time and, um, even though I see him every day, he hasn't been on the podcast for a hot minute. I'm back, leo's back, folks, and did you miss me? I'm sure you did you. What do you mean? Did they miss you? They all got, they all sent out. Uh, where's leo? Where's leo? What happened? And then the yenta started. Maybe something's wrong with leo and molly yeah, some, they all got, they all sent out. Where's Leo? Where's Leo? What happened? And then the Yentas started. Maybe something's wrong with Leo and Monty yeah, some.
Speaker 2:YouTube comments oh really Maybe yeah, I'm here to set the record straight. Okay, yes, I told Perrielle I was only coming back if it was like a very Meghan Markle Harry Oprah situation.
Speaker 1:Oh God.
Speaker 2:He's so dramatic. Were you silent or were you silenced? That's Oprah. She said that in that interview.
Speaker 3:She said that yeah.
Speaker 2:That's the most iconic line in an interview ever.
Speaker 3:Leo, where have you been?
Speaker 2:Well, where haven't I been In?
Speaker 1:bed A lot. That's not exactly true. You had a very serious uh, he had a very serious. Leo had uh insane surgery insane cosmetic.
Speaker 2:I know we've talked a lot about plastic surgery on this show.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I'm not wearing glasses because of any certain reason. But Leo had major corrective surgery that if you explain to somebody it would blow their mind away. His bottom bite didn't touch the top and they had to. They put metal plates in my jaw. They had to drill into the face and put metal plates and then move whatever other changed around it. Now I mean he lived his whole life like that and his chewing and everything was painful and everything. Now our dentist said Leo has a better bite than most of my patients. Miracle, miracle of modern medicine.
Speaker 3:Do you feel different?
Speaker 2:I mean my jaw's still numb, but apparently that will take like six months to a year.
Speaker 3:What do you mean? Your jaw's numb?
Speaker 2:This is all numb still.
Speaker 3:He's pointing his chin.
Speaker 2:The nerves haven't reconnected. But, that surgery was in February and what today's May, so it wasn't that long ago but he was already a little bit better before. He just like was enjoying that not coming to canal street no, I feel like there were episodes that you guys were having where I'm like how much do I have to contribute to this conversation?
Speaker 1:probably not much, okay well, anyway, everybody missed you and uh that the surgery was unbelievable. If you think about it, it was horrible, it was traumatic.
Speaker 2:It was really disgusting afterwards to look at myself in the mirror. I joined you on the road right away, like way sooner than we thought.
Speaker 1:He had the surgery right at the beginning of the Know your Audience tour, so he missed the.
Speaker 3:Terry.
Speaker 1:No the. Huntington shows that you were on and then the swelling went down enough where he was still on liquids. But he came on the road to all the others which was right away, california, yeah and nailed it and killed it, and so we. But you've been on since the tour, no.
Speaker 3:No, no. You were on ice for a long time. You had to ice.
Speaker 2:Literally Ice. It was on ice when is Leo.
Speaker 3:He's been on ice.
Speaker 2:Cryogenically frozen. We have Leo on ice for you.
Speaker 1:We have Leo. That sounds so nice, champagne Leo on ice. But he came on the tour and he killed it and we and I drank lots of smoothies and lots of smoothies, acai bowls yeah.
Speaker 3:But now you can eat again.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and what advice do you have for anybody that has to go through this kind of surgery Maxillofacial?
Speaker 2:surgery yes, I mean good luck, luck no but like ice, ice, ice, a lot ice.
Speaker 1:If you have what, yeah, but when, obviously, well, you had a very good doctor, um doctor, no, no, okay, you had a very good doctor and uh, and it's, it's miraculous. When you saw the x-rays, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 2:But anyway, you're back and we are no, but I think I have PTSD, because sometimes I like think about the surgery and then I get scared and then I have to tell myself it already happened, because before it was on the calendar for like six months and I just like felt like a ticking time bomb of like, until I walked into the OR Like I was walking around, like a bomb Was it super painful, like the recovery.
Speaker 2:I'm more uncomfortable now after the surgery than before the surgery, with like the numbness, but at least like my functionality of the jaw has been restored and I can like chew properly.
Speaker 1:He looked completely fine after the surgery.
Speaker 3:I thought so too. He didn't think so.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no. After the hours after the surgery he looked fine and the doctor said to him okay, just go home and wait for the tsunami. And the next day the tsunami came, the face just blew up this big and he began the recovering and you know the swelling and healing and everything coming together and that's it, and it was two months of your life and now you have the rest of your life to have a great bite and recover whatever's left and again Moshiach energy of healing. It's just. It's incredible what they can do today. It's just incredible what they can do today.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, it's really only been a few months.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's it. And now we are in a full swing on with the shows and everything and what I'm looking at you. Yeah, we're going to Israel. I know I can't believe we're going back to Israel. We left Israel when the war began and now we're going back to do a show in Jerusalem.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 1:I'm going to sing Hatikvah. So we've been singing Hatikvah, obviously, at every show since the war began, and now we're going to Jerusalem and singing Hatikvah, and it's just. I haveest thinking about going back to Israel.
Speaker 3:I know Every time you say that I want to come.
Speaker 2:The Jerusalem show was. We did it through Live Nation and it was completely word of mouth, like we didn't advertise it at all, we just put it on your website and like, but they didn't deploy any of their usual like marketing efforts. So it's kind of cool, because they wanted we didn't know what was happening in the news cycle and this and that, so like we kind of just put it on sale, soft launch, and like, just let it gain momentum from there I totally forgot that I bought people tickets to that show that I need to send them.
Speaker 2:Oh, please, thank you oh, please send them their tickets.
Speaker 3:I'm going to yeah.
Speaker 2:What do you guys want to talk about today?
Speaker 1:You know, hopefully they'll be on the show, but yesterday I went to the Nova exhibition, which was unbelievable. When something is done well, I'm so blown away I. When something is done well, I'm so blown away. They, literally they. Let you choose your own experience going through this. The Nova Festival, obviously, is the festival that when October 7th, was a dance festival. It's basically the Burning man of Israel, man of Israel and um and they. You walk in and you're in the tent of like where they would be dancing. You know it's like a major outdoor tent in a desert and they show you what the Nova Festival is and it's just people giving testimony of. This is a festival where you it's trans music, you're dancing with people you don't know Trance, trance, trance.
Speaker 2:Trance, like I'm in a trance. I'm in a trance. Yeah trance music. I thought you said trans music.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. No, non-binary music. Non-binary music, no, and they're explaining it to people who don't know, like we know what a trance rave is, but people who just don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There were like orthodox women there with wigs and who don't know what that even means, who have never been to a rave, yeah, and so Sounds like a market opportunity, and so they're like watching this and they're like, okay, so this is what people who aren't religious do, and they dance and they're in the desert and they're having fun. And you just see, they had amazing footage of people. Whose phone is that? They had amazing footage of the people dancing and how beautiful this is. And it's such a spiritual and a soul experience you're having with somebody else, even though you don't know them, and the soul experience you're having with somebody else, even though you don't know them. And then that opening clip ends with somebody coming to the DJ and telling them to turn the music off and it's a code red.
Speaker 3:I don't know if I'm emotionally equipped to handle that. So I didn't think I was either. Did you go?
Speaker 1:I didn't go. I don't know if I so I didn't know if I was emotionally equipped either. But somebody called me and said we have an extra ticket for this. Dina called me and said I said, if that's the situation, I'm going to go. That means this is something I should be doing. I tried to keep away from the crazy videos of it, but okay.
Speaker 1:So then you move into the next room now you're like after 6 29, the moment where the attack happened, and then you can choose to watch the videos. They have different. Now you're in the camp, you're, you're where the tents are. They have the actual tents and the actual blankets and actual shoes and books that the festival goers had, and they had like a television of the footage both from Hamas's cameras and from Israeli cameras, and you can choose how long you wanted to watch. Long you wanted to watch, you did. You didn't need to, um, you didn't need to uh, to, to, to sit too much and watch something scary.
Speaker 1:And they bring you into, like all of the shoes that were salvaged, okay. And then they and but then there's a hope at the end. Then they bring you into an area where you see the people that were murdered and you look at their faces and they're so young and beautiful and just like movie stars. And then you go into the ones that are hostages and then you go into the healing section where you meet people who were survivors and people who are, and a big sign we will dance again. It was done very well. You, you can choose your pace and you can choose what you want to focus on. So you didn't have it wasn't jarring and alarming and and nightmarish, and it's just done so well and and I think they should, if you, if it's in your area or if you're in New York, still, you should go and see it. So that's what I've been up to. That was yesterday.
Speaker 3:Well, I don't know if that was your idea about keeping it light.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I'm sorry, we're not keeping it light, all right.
Speaker 2:This is why I haven't been on the podcast, honestly, why I don't know. It's like it's the elephant in the room, like this, like post-9 october, 7th world, it's like you had all these people on.
Speaker 3:I'm like I don't have anything to say.
Speaker 2:It's just sad that what like that about what goes through my head when you're telling me this is that I just get sad because I know that there are people who could go to that exhibit and still say that it was like fabricated propaganda, didn't really happen or they deserved it. I mean I saw people saying that the people who at nova were dancing next to a concentration camp and that like that they got what they deserve, basically, and like that makes me sick because it's like you don't know those kids politics, like they're just happened to be born israeli and you don't get to choose that any more than you get to choose is that your phone this whole time? That would be hilarious for those of you. Uh, listening at home, perry all has his phone departed the sofa. Her phone has been chirping away and looking at me as if it's me shooting me the nastiest looks you were like.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile it's your phone it's my phone no, we well, since, since you've been on, we've had obviously you know we've had a family of people. We try to keep it where we're not nonstop war, war, war. I'm a comedian and we're looking to bring comedy to it, but we have to where we can help.
Speaker 3:No, you're absolutely right. No, but I think what leo's saying is true.
Speaker 2:It um and I really try to stay away from this stuff um a little bit, but I have gotten such insane comments on instagram to um yeah, there's just a whole faction of people out there who are it's like talking to a brick wall, like you're never going to change their mind or their viewpoint yeah, but that's the part that's incredibly frustrating, like they're unable to hold multiple ideas at once that's what I was, just yes this could be bad and wrong and whatever, but also like you shouldn't kill 300 kids at a rave right and also, you can hold two truths at once, right Like you can have.
Speaker 3:your humanity doesn't end when you start to recognize that things are more complicated than that. Yeah, anyway, I'm going to go to the exhibit. I do think that it's very important to bear witness. Yes, yes. To take like a hard turn, go for it. We have some games.
Speaker 2:Jesus, oh my.
Speaker 3:God. I thought would be fun to discuss. Go for it. Okay, hold on. Wait, I have to pull it up and, modi, maybe you can weigh in One second. I have to find you, I'll try.
Speaker 1:I feel like there's so many crazy funny stories that have happened on the road that we recently just insane Like what?
Speaker 2:Travel stories no, we just have long days and it imprints on your brain as like meaningful, but it's just a lot of truffle legs. Bus club none of the bus Train no sleep. What's your game?
Speaker 3:What's your toxic trait?
Speaker 2:What does that mean? It's like a personality trait that like isn't necessarily good or bad. Well, it's kind of bad, but like you can use it advantageously.
Speaker 3:Toxic, toxic. What's your toxic trait Like?
Speaker 2:my toxic trait is that I'm delusional.
Speaker 3:That's my toxic trait. You know, your toxic trait is that you think you could pick up your entire life and move to London. Yeah, I wrote that in my story.
Speaker 2:When we were in London, I was like my toxic trait is that I secretly believe, at any point in time I could just simply move to London effortlessly Anywhere.
Speaker 1:You say Easily Anywhere we go. He's like maybe I could live here when we were in Israel for a hot minute.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, I was like if I spoke Hebrew we would be making Aliyah, like for sure. I'm like where are you making?
Speaker 1:Aliyah. I'm booked in.
Speaker 2:Nashville. That's my toxic trait. I'm like, yeah, sure I could live there. No, I think I could live anywhere. That's my toxic trait. That's your toxic trait. It's a delusional toxic tree. Remember when we were in Miami for January? I'm like should we?
Speaker 1:buy a house down here. Everywhere we are, every show we do.
Speaker 2:Every show we do, I'm on Zillow. I'm like look what you could get for $750,000 in Cincinnati.
Speaker 1:We were in some Yopitz Ohio town which was like a beautiful Jewish community, and we're driving to the gig and Leo's on Zillow. He goes M Moti for $500,000,. We could be living in a mansion and looking at all the, all the houses there and like everybody's like, yeah, that's why we're here. They all have these, these Victorian homes with three acres, 12 pools, guest houses for like 500. And meanwhile we're looking in Pompano Beach for like for 2 million.
Speaker 2:Your toxic trait is that you don't feel the emotion of anxiety, even though sometimes you should.
Speaker 1:That's a toxic trait.
Speaker 3:Bodhi's toxic trait is that he has no anxiety.
Speaker 2:No, you have no like in social situations where one where a little bit of anxiety might be good. None Like in interacting with like a waiter or like other people around you.
Speaker 3:That's not Modi's type of thing, like you shushing people in a restaurant?
Speaker 1:Well, sometimes they need to be shushed.
Speaker 2:If you're loud and you're in the booth behind Modi, he'll be like shh.
Speaker 1:Oh, is that a toxic trade?
Speaker 3:No, I don't think that's your toxic trade. I think your toxic trade is that you think that you do not need to ever use text messaging or email.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, that's probably a better one. What's yours, yeah?
Speaker 3:Mine is that I think I'm a billionaire.
Speaker 2:Oh, same, listen, just swipe the card. Swipe it if it goes through.
Speaker 3:That is that. My toxic trait is that I think that I am just infinitely wealthy If you think honestly money isn't even real.
Speaker 1:No, but it's energy.
Speaker 2:You have to just think it.
Speaker 1:That is yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:You can't chase it, or else you'll never toxic trait.
Speaker 3:I don't, guy hates that, that hates that. That's his probably least favorite thing about me, but I think it's also why he loves me. No, no toxic? I'm not sure that's my toxic trait that you don't think that you need to text, message or email ever.
Speaker 2:I mean the percentage of times I call you and you answer. The phone is probably like three out of ten when you call me. Yes, Because usually your phone is like on silent or I don't know what you're doing. Your phone is like a brick. Yeah, okay, my phone is fused to my hand like this but it's a good thing also right, it's a good thing also yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like there's. Okay, next question, Mrs Toxic Questions.
Speaker 3:Morning or evening shower. Both.
Speaker 1:Afternoon midday, leo showers all day long. I've been better at that lately.
Speaker 2:Why, what do you mean? Like I've been better at that lately, why? What do you mean? Instead of doing a morning shower, I'll just do a freshening up.
Speaker 3:Mine is neither.
Speaker 2:We're just filthy. You're the three G's Greasy, grimy, gross.
Speaker 1:Greasy, grimy, gross Sometimes, when we're traveling.
Speaker 2:I'm like Modi I'm greasy, grimy, gross. Right now, gotta get into a shower.
Speaker 3:I just don't think you need to shower three times a day.
Speaker 2:No, but you don't need to, but it's so nice.
Speaker 1:First of all, it's a nice refreshing thing.
Speaker 3:It's also nice to stew in your own Ew.
Speaker 2:Ew Perrielle.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute, I don't know, sometimes after a rave. No, it's fun to be a little.
Speaker 2:I'm never happier than the seconds I'm getting out of the shower and like putting on clean clothes.
Speaker 3:Do you shower every single day?
Speaker 2:Oh, at least once, if not twice, a day. Yeah, really, you don't shower every day.
Speaker 1:I could skip a day. I might be able to if I don't go to the gym and don't leave the house or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I don't. When you live in Manhattan and you walk around, a lot. No, no, no, not like if you're filthy, but no, but like if you live in Long Island and you're getting into your car and out of your car.
Speaker 2:You should still be showering. Wash your butt.
Speaker 1:Wash your armpits Right, but you don't like in New York City. You feel like the grime of the city on you sometimes. I think that's why when you walk, when you walk around, Right.
Speaker 3:No, I'm not talking about like if you've been on like the subway and you're like filthy.
Speaker 1:But I also need to sometimes shower just to fluff my hair up Use my shampoo that gives you a little volume.
Speaker 3:I'm just saying like people like Leo and my husband shower, no matter what, twice a day.
Speaker 2:Okay, and my husband shower, no matter what, twice a day.
Speaker 3:Okay, because it feels nice. Yes, guys, usually, like you know, we have hot water right.
Speaker 1:It's rebooting. It's rebooting. Yeah, it's rebooting, okay.
Speaker 2:When you come home, after you're out in the city or like anywhere, really do you like immediately change out of your outside clothes or do you just like walk around? No, no, that's a yes, because that's also a big thing for me and a lot of people don't do that. Right, that's outrageous, they'll just like go in the same pants that they were sitting on the subway and go no, no, no, no. We always change right away.
Speaker 1:He goes crazy. I leave everything in the living room. So he goes no, this is the changing room. Change here and there, so I'm good though I to a fresh t-shirt and my shorts and all that Like little lounge wear Lounge moment. Wait you're not allowed to sit, we call it schluff wear. Yeah, we get into our schluff wear.
Speaker 3:I like that. Yeah, you're not allowed to sit on like the bed. Oh, absolutely not. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:I see people with their backpacks on the subway floor. Well that they're going to walk in their apartment and throw it onto their bed or onto their on their dining room table or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, people are gross okay, next question what's your biggest indulgence? Biggest indulgence. Every day is an indulgence I don't know.
Speaker 1:According to our accountant, uber, uber, uber.
Speaker 2:We have a driver. His name is uber. He's full-time payroll all time payroll uber a 401k match. Literally, we our uber. We could have bought another mercedes last year according to our taxes and expenses no, but we can't.
Speaker 1:It's not, it's. It's something you can't live without I love, for the record, the idea of the two of you having a driver we basically do have a driver his name is uber and he goes to and he's in every state and he's everywhere we go and he always has a suburban I love that he always has a big fat, suburban and uh and and he's lovely oh wait, can I talk about our po box?
Speaker 2:yes, okay. So people have been dming. This happened slowly, it was a slow burn. People like either asked if they can send things or at meet and greets they like tell the us that they want to send us something, or made things for us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, debbie, made us sweet afghan, these beautiful blankets with star of david things, but I didn't like giving my address out to people, so I've opened a PO box. So everyone at home grab a pen and paper and it's 118 A Orchard Street and then personal mailbox, pmb number 208, new York, new York, 1002. If you have a brand, if you want to send us things, you want us to talk about it on the podcast. I'm also going to put it in the description of the podcast.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's great. And also, just because you're sending it doesn't mean we're going to talk about it. If we like it we're going to, yeah, send us stuff.
Speaker 2:It should be cute. We can have a segment called Modi Mail, yes, and we can go through the mail Merch if there's any cute merch. If you have any merch you want to send Again, I'm going to put it in the description of the episode. I do want to pause here and acknowledge a moment that happened, I think, two episodes ago, where you said I almost set the house on fire. Yes.
Speaker 2:Okay, that was a broiler situation situation. I don't know if you know how a broiler works. I don't. Yeah, okay, he, apparently you don't either. All right, well, this is kind of looping around because I wanted to say thank you to choose kosher meats in the five towns. Don't get mad seth at a and h provisions. They sent some beautiful steaks that I did a good job with.
Speaker 2:They sent like hundreds of dollars worth of meat that are like kosher wagyu beef and I don't really eat beef a lot, so it's like I don't really know how to prepare it, but like they sent some beef patties and like some steaks and like whatever, I just put them in a skillet because we don't have a grill or anything.
Speaker 2:The apartment smelled like pita lugers yeah, but it was delicious steak, yeah. And then they had a big like flank size piece like this big that I was like I'm going to try to put this in the broiler because I can't put it in the skillet.
Speaker 3:Now, were you just winging this, or?
Speaker 2:Oh delusional.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I got through the first couple cuts of meat.
Speaker 3:Like you didn't like, throw this like quick YouTube search, like how to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I did that.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:So I put it on the broiler with a lot of oil on it. No, I didn't put a lot of oil on it, but you put oil on it. I don't think so. You were just really excited to use that fire extinguisher that you had. No, no, no, no, yeah, no, because the broiler you put it really high up and the flames come out and like it cooks it that way, and then it touched the meat and the fat, and the meat, I think, caught on fire a little bit, but like the apartment wasn't on fire, Wait, what caught fire?
Speaker 3:Wasn't it in a pot?
Speaker 2:No, it was on a. It was on like a baking tray On a baking tray.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:It's not the correct way of cooking it.
Speaker 3:I messed it up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we picked up on that I think there was a lot more oil on it than you think. I remember you putting oil on it and believe me, I'm not looking to, I just there's a lot of no, but you came through with the fire extinguisher like so dramatic.
Speaker 3:You're saying he prematurely.
Speaker 2:You're saying he prematurely, I think I could have reached in with an oven mitt and just brought it out. Maybe it would be on fire a little bit. But it's like, not like a fire.
Speaker 1:There were flames, there were physical flames, not smoke, right? Am I right or wrong? Yeah, but that's from the broiler, that's what I'm telling you. But it already reached outside the oven. It was outside. It was not outside the oven. Yes, it was Okay that I didn't see. It was outside the oven. If it was inside broiling and cooking, I would have closed the oven, turned it off. It had been done. But it reached outside the oven halfway between the conventional oven and the grill. So there's a flame, a flame, a flame, a yellow dancing flame, a log baomer flame. And I said, oh, this isn't good. And I remembered that. I remembered we have a fire extinguisher because I saw it the week.
Speaker 2:Well, I didn't burn the house down, choose kosher meat. I think I'm saying right ch, right C-H-U-S. They're in the five towns. Thank you for sending the meat and it's beautiful meat. I messed up one of the cuts, obviously, but the rest were delicious, yes.
Speaker 3:Say what happened to that one? You had to toss it. We threw it away. We threw it away. No, I had fire.
Speaker 1:Isn chemicals. It was this white chemical. Oh my god. Yeah, it was serious, but it went right out. I was so impressed. I was so impressed. He just wanted to play with the fire extinguisher. It's not true.
Speaker 3:I want to never touch a fire extinguisher for the rest of my life and then is that done, or now you have to get a new fire extinguisher.
Speaker 2:I think we have to get a new fire extinguisher. Oh, we should get. I had to tell my cleaning lady like hi, I set something on fire in the oven and I don't know how to clean it. Now she's like I'll do it. I'll do it.
Speaker 1:And at this moment we do thank Choose Kosher Meats, but we also thank A&H Provisions. Seth, we love you and please don't feel like we're cheating on you. They just sent it to us and it was it's like, is it? I don't think Seth has this type of no, he doesn't.
Speaker 3:No, tell us a little bit about A&H.
Speaker 1:Provisions A&H Provisions. First of all, as you know, the best hot dogs in the world, kosherdogsnet. 30% off your first order when you use code MODY M-O-D-Y. Best Provisions Glot Kosher, Glot, Glot Kosher Delicious.
Speaker 3:July 4th is coming up.
Speaker 1:July 4th Wow, good one. July 4th is coming out and it's coming out. Yes, it's going to be gay. July 4th is coming out and that's the hot dog you want to have at your house. What, wait? How about the Pope saying faggotry, love. Do you want to talk about it? We have to First of all, frosha genie. That's how you pronounce it.
Speaker 2:What is it? What have it? Okay, so this is. I'm actually giving credit, but I have to get this set up for this. People don't know this about me, but I follow the Pope.
Speaker 1:Modi loves the Pope, which don't care the drag.
Speaker 3:Okay, first of all okay.
Speaker 2:The Pope comes out with the apology, followed reports in Italian Press Monday that the discussion in Rome last week said there were already too much frosciagine in some seminaries. The Italian word roughly translates as faggotness. Honestly, if you wear that dress and those shoes, you get to throw around the F-bomb.
Speaker 1:I am a Can we discuss. No, no, I want to talk about this for a second. The church, the faggotry, is on another level. It's a drag show. First of all, the Pope is already on. He doesn't walk, he's in a wheelchair. He's not in a wheelchair, he is.
Speaker 3:He is.
Speaker 1:I follow the Pope. I know he's in a wheelchair. When he gets to the room he can take a few steps with a cane, but otherwise he's in a wheelchair. But when they bring him to the big mass things, they bring him on the stage that glides with the chair already set and they set him up and he's being no.
Speaker 1:Beyonce, beyonce, beyonce. The only thing is he's not coming up out of the stage. Yes, and he's being brought around, not by the bishops that look like death, by guys that look like Leo, in these beautiful gowns and behind them are the old bishops in their red dresses, and it's so beautifully done and everyone's quiet. And then the pope comes in and they put the mic by the way, one of the most beautiful microphones I've seen they have a mic that goes into the it like it's one big part of of the stand, it's not like a with a wire hanging over, you know, and he comes in there and he has I would hope so, and he has either he just he does the homily or whatever. It's me throwing words around. He gives out whatever and he knows by heart, so he doesn't need. Or if he has to read something, they bring it to him in font this big, which I approve of, um, and there's no glasses and he's just like, and he speaks and it's so calming.
Speaker 1:They should make a tape of it, like when you need to just calm breathe.
Speaker 1:But, the faggotry of it all. Okay, maybe we should turn down that. And first of all, first of all, first of all, I'll tell you and of course I'm comparing this to a rabbi, both are high, drag, both are high. Well, sometimes rabbis are sitting there with their they're like in a suit, the tie's a little off because he wants to show that he's like. You know the tie. I wear a tie because I got to wear a tie, and the rabbi's always moving his yarmulke. He's always doing this thing with his yarmulke, moving the yarmulke. The Pope doesn't touch his yarmulke.
Speaker 2:The Pope has a fat yarmulke.
Speaker 1:I like his yarmulke a big fat yarmulke with a little tritzel on top of it and he just sits there and doesn't touch the yarmulke. Every rabbi when he wants to make a point. So it wasn't that Moshe Rabbeinu came down from the mountain, it was. Then they start moving the yarmulke on their head nonstop and the publicist touches the yarmulke. He's not picking in his ear, he's not shaking his jacket off to get the snowflakes off, he's so he's literally just like I would hope he's put together.
Speaker 2:He's the head of the. He's the biggest international crime organization in the world. You said that, not me. I didn't say that the Catholic Church is the largest international organized crime ring in the history of the planet. All Catholics are welcome to my shows at modilivecom. I would hope he has a good microphone. They've pillaged the whole world.
Speaker 1:But they did it well. Yes, they pillaged the whole world, but they did it well.
Speaker 2:Yes, they, they, they like could you imagine you had some hunger microphone? That's what I'm saying. At least they got that together. But faggotry, it's complete faggotry. Okay, again you're. Maybe we should tone down the word. Am I gonna have to bleep that?
Speaker 1:no, why like kicked?
Speaker 2:off of spotify or something. Why is that? Why is that a bad word f? Faggotry? Oh my God, it's literally like.
Speaker 3:It's a slur.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a slur, it's an ethnic slur.
Speaker 3:It's not an ethnic slur, okay.
Speaker 1:First of all me being a gay man.
Speaker 3:I can say that, yeah, but you might not be able to say it like on Spotify In polite company, yeah company. Yeah, it's fine, I that. That is the rules. What I? I think that they should be much more concerned with their behavior. Um, those gentlemen, but I I what I would like to take away from this is that I think that maybe you should get a gorgeous microphone for the.
Speaker 1:I can barely get a chair here. I can barely get a chair here. I'm sitting on a sucker chair. They didn't have my regular chair. They brought me this chair from somebody's house.
Speaker 2:She's like she like sent me chair options because of what you said on the call.
Speaker 3:Oh good.
Speaker 2:They should have a good chair for us.
Speaker 1:I hope I picked right for you. I'm wearing a purple suit.
Speaker 2:It's just a black chair. I don't know what I'm going to wear for the actual thing.
Speaker 1:You should wear the Pope outfit. You should wear a priest outfit.
Speaker 3:Oh, I love that for you.
Speaker 1:What is that white thing that they have here? I don't know.
Speaker 2:You don't? How do you not know? It's like a collar. I don't know what it's called. I don't know why they wear it you went to church all those years.
Speaker 1:Every Jew goes to church. If we see one thing, yeah, what?
Speaker 3:is that? What is that why?
Speaker 1:is he wearing them? What's the white thing underneath his neck? Why do popes Not popes, priests, priests Wear the white thing, the white schmagegi underneath?
Speaker 3:Why do it's to keep their neck straight when they're?
Speaker 2:Stop, that's disgusting and I can't say faggotry and you can say that.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, okay, so that's the Pope. So I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think he said it in a nice way, the title of this episode is Pope PO, boxes and blank Pope PO.
Speaker 1:Boxes and polygamy. I need one more P.
Speaker 3:What does the dog collar mean on a priest?
Speaker 1:The dog collar Dog collar.
Speaker 3:That's a completely different priest in a completely different setting. It's a sign or mark of a person's holy calling, according to the Church of England.
Speaker 2:Well, the Church of England and the Catholic Church historically have not agreed on.
Speaker 1:There's a all right, whatever, okay, but definitely, when you see somebody with that little collar, you right away know it's a priest Right, this whole celibacy thing is very weird.
Speaker 3:Why are we going to that? Because I'm just doing some research. Okay, what else Do you want? To go back to our game.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love your game.
Speaker 3:Okay, what is, or who is, your favorite TV character?
Speaker 2:I know the answer. I know your answer to this. I don't know my answer to this. Yeah, you do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh.
Speaker 2:Frasier.
Speaker 1:Frasier. I know your answer to this, see, but it's not so much him, it's the whole writing of the show.
Speaker 3:Right, I was going to say Archie Bunker, it's.
Speaker 1:Archie Bunker I think a character acting wise, it's Frasier is. The writing on the show is so brilliant. He delivers it so well. Archie Bunker is the who is.
Speaker 3:Archie Bunker is is the he who is Archie, Bunker for the people.
Speaker 1:All in the family. Uh, there's a. There's a show called All in the Family, and he's like the most racist guy in the world, to the point where it shows you how stupid racism is.
Speaker 3:And it was on in the seventies and eighties.
Speaker 1:It was on in the seventies, 80s and it was by Norman Lear and there were spinoffs of it, and Rob Reiner was his son. Yes, rob Reiner was the son and it was the Meathead, and Gloria, and that was one of my favorite, I could just watch it. Fred Sanford on Sanford and Son. I don't know her name, but Aunt Esther was one of the funniest characters too.
Speaker 3:And Jean Stapleton was as Edith Bunker.
Speaker 1:She was great too, but I'm talking about characters like I would die from laughter. Birth Out Laughing would be Archie Bunker, which is Carol O'Connor Frasier, kelsey Grammer and then I don't know her name but Aunt Esther on Stanford and Son.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:I'm old school people, I am old old school.
Speaker 3:You. Miley Cyrus.
Speaker 2:Come on On Hannah Montana. On Hannah Montana no.
Speaker 1:I don't know, miley.
Speaker 3:Cyrus has herself now. Now we're besties. Um what? Who? I have it wait um rupaul.
Speaker 2:No, that's a reality show, so it doesn't really count. Yeah, oh, I'm sorry I didn't.
Speaker 3:I didn't realize that it was um. I don't know if I have one. What about the one of the characters, the main character character on VeggieTales?
Speaker 2:Oh God, larry the Cucumber, that's a deep cut. That's a deep cut. Reference from OG listeners.
Speaker 1:Yes, OG listeners go back to the VeggieCut episode. And yours, it's yours, maud, no.
Speaker 3:Peggy Bundy? Oh Maud, no, peggy Bundy.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, who's Peggy Bundy? Who's Peggy Bundy? Oh?
Speaker 2:tweeters, oh tweeters, Tell me, Don't be like condescending about it.
Speaker 1:Peggy Bundy is not condescending. I'm like I don't. Your generation doesn't have didn't have reruns, you don't Generation doesn't have didn't have reruns, you don't? Peggy Bundy was on the show. Oh wow, who the hell remembers With Ed. The father on Modern Family and the show was called like Kill Me, or it was, I don't know. It was Love and Marriage Love and it was a, a very very funny show and this husband like married with children married with children.
Speaker 1:Oh, I know, see, I know, yeah, yeah it was a very funny, it was just just jabbing, it was a two, it was a couple, that just that's peggy, bundy and she used that wig. We just jab. It was just jabbing each other. Jab, jab, jab, jab, jab, jab Lines. The lines were just like lines you this and you that. Really, you're that and you're that.
Speaker 3:And they were and she used to like have like she dressed in all leopard like super tight and she would just be like smoking cigarettes while like she was like cutting off like salad.
Speaker 1:And he was a woman shoe salesman and hated his life and they had two kids and it was hysterical and it was just literally a writer's room full of people taking jabs at each other. It was such a great show I have a lot of like.
Speaker 3:I loved Tony Soprano. I thought that was like he was one of the best characters on a TV show. Did you watch that show?
Speaker 2:The Soprano yeah, no, no.
Speaker 4:Did you watch that show? I was on it. I know you were on it, of course I watched it Religiously.
Speaker 1:Every Sunday we were home watching it.
Speaker 3:One of the best shows on television ever.
Speaker 1:Ever. But I will just tell you that you know, in the news yesterday Robert De Niro freaked out.
Speaker 2:I saw that, you saw that. Yeah, on the.
Speaker 1:Trump thing On the Trump thing and he freaked out and it looked like he was in character of him.
Speaker 1:Right right right, and let me tell you, that's really him. The characters that they play are really them. You know, and when I did the, when I was on the Sopranos, I had a very small role, but you do, I was a part of the table reading because I was in that week's cast. It's incredible, and that's on a Monday morning. They all come in after their weekend and they sit around the table the entire cast and until we began the table reading I thought they were all in character, but they were just that's them. They just. I had lunch at Gibboni's and I had did you try the canone bonone from them? They had noni tononi. Girl Murray, where were you? I was there, I was there. You was there too. I called you, but you wasn't there. I'm like, are they already? But you wasn't there and I'm like, are they already? I'm like, oh my god, maybe they're already acting, maybe, but that was just them and they're just in the role and robert de niro but yeah, screaming at the, at the, the trump uh, I saw he's um
Speaker 2:I was just reading the jury profiles of the trump case before when I was sitting in the hallway here waiting for you guys to finish up. Um, are they scary like one of them. Juror number six I want to get a drink with her software engineer at a large broadcast company. Recently graduated from college, not married, no children, currently living with three roommates in chelsea in manhattan oh god gets her news from the new york times. Google, facebook and tiktok perfect perfect.
Speaker 1:Oh my perfect, perfect.
Speaker 2:I just want to get trump is walking trump is trump is walking out of that with no, with. It's insane how why I would think that she would not be a fan no, some of these, some of these jury profiles, I'm like I would love to be you. It's like one of her news on tiktok.
Speaker 1:That means most of her news that she's getting is memes of Joe Biden being too old. Oh, I see. And then she's now in this and go ahead. What's the next jury's?
Speaker 2:profile. It's like kind of interesting. Like juror number eight retired wealth manager, married with two children, says he knows about Trump but is quote more interested in his hobbies. He knows about Trump but is quote more interested in his hobbies. You know, this is like some like detached a wealth manager, a retired wealth manager who's like just completely detached from reality.
Speaker 3:He has totally checked out, just checked out. That's his toxic trait.
Speaker 1:Checked out.
Speaker 2:This one sounds interesting. Juror number nine is a speech therapist with a master's degree, not married, no children.
Speaker 3:Is it Yuri?
Speaker 2:If she'd feel pressured by others, she'd say not at all. She's going to cause drama in that little jury room. She's going to be the one that sticks it out.
Speaker 1:Wow, the lone juror.
Speaker 2:There's no way. Juror number 10 works for an e-commerce company, born and raised in Ohio, not married and lives with another adult. Wow Says he doesn't really follow the news. Same.
Speaker 3:Interesting.
Speaker 2:You could be a juror, I could be a juror now I think you're too much of a public figure for you to like be a juror. Okay.
Speaker 3:I got kicked out.
Speaker 1:I would be. I would follow the rules of what the judge tells us. And here are the facts and here are the blah, and I would go by that.
Speaker 3:Look, he's into it.
Speaker 1:I'm into it, I to it, I'm into it, I'm like a serial killer trial.
Speaker 2:Oh, that goes on for like forever.
Speaker 3:I can't ruin your life Bodhi's like you gotta get me in and out of here I think if you're on a jury for one of these parking file violation trial?
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you're on the jury for like a serious case like this or like some crazy murder, I think you should receive like a pension for the rest of your life. I think the people that are on OJ's trial, I think OJ's jurors, they should be getting checks from the government every month.
Speaker 1:Still, it's traumatic PTSD they must have. But also.
Speaker 3:Aren't you locked up for months on end? You?
Speaker 2:have no like you, don't have a life and they don't pay you right.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's some ridiculous like give you a rabble. How are people supposed to live? You get like a tuna sandwich.
Speaker 2:Well, because legally, if you got, if you did get sucked into like some long drawn out case like that, your employer technically has to pay, can't fire you, right, right.
Speaker 3:Are you getting paid?
Speaker 1:I don't know no you only get like Per diem Author for that we need to call our.
Speaker 1:Yes, bring. Author back on. Well, we, by the way, we didn't. We had the Pesach programs. I don't know if we talked about that. I don't want to talk about them. I want to talk about one thing, about the Pesach programs. We were in some of the most beautiful resorts for Pesach programs and food ad nauseum. I mean days, rows and rows of food and buffets, or they'll bring it to your table, just food. And Leo, locked in the hotel room with uber eats, he, we walked to the first buffet, I walked to the first buffet and he's like seeing all the Jews, just like Finger banging everything.
Speaker 1:Just touching everything and putting, like taking things in, nah, putting it back, and Leo says I'm going to go to the room, I come back. He's like having a salmon from Uber Eats. It's like an Uber Eats package.
Speaker 2:You didn't want any gefilte fish I actually do like gefilte fish is the thing. When my mom makes it, yeah, when my mom makes it Like not in a group setting A group setting for gefilte fish. It is that's not a team sport. Gefilte fish.
Speaker 1:And like a lot of it in like an enclosed, like hot room, oh god, but they um. The shows were great, the people were great um, should we wrap it up?
Speaker 2:yeah, we could. What one more question? Your finger up what?
Speaker 1:no, and, by the way, if you should only see the nail colors that she chose today you like it yeah, love do you hate it? Yeah, I know I love it. Love it For Kermit the Frog, I like it.
Speaker 2:I think it's fun. All right, should I just do like a roundup of some shows Please.
Speaker 1:The last one, I didn't do a good job June 16th, jerusalem, west Hampton.
Speaker 2:On July 28th we have two shows with a matinee that we added. There's still some seats left there. Then we're in Raleigh, north Carolina, july 31st. Nashville August 1st, then Atlantic City August 3rd. I want us to take a helicopter in, but now this whole thing with the president of Iran, maybe I won't. Then we are in Melbourne August 24th and 25th. Then we go to Sydney show on the 25th oh wait, nope, that's still Melbourne. Then we're in Sydney the 29th. Then the Paws of Laughter tour starts in Zurich November 4th. That's still melbourne, melbourne. We're in sydney the 29th. Then the positive laughter tour starts in zurich november 4th. That's sold out, I think. Uh, london show there now where you might be adding a show in zurich, yeah, but tbd london november 6th at the palladium. It's like 85 sold out already and it's not until november.
Speaker 1:I'm not mentioning names, but there might be a duchess coming to the show.
Speaker 2:There might be a duchess coming to the show and a woman who was a star on Dynasty.
Speaker 1:We should have talked about that.
Speaker 2:Let me get through this. Skokie in Chicago, november 14th. That's sold out. We're working on adding a show there. St Paul, minnesota. If you live in Minnesota, send me a DM because we have to talk. I don't have any bearing there, I've never been there, but we're at the Fitzgerald theater on November 24th. We're in Montreal at the Rialto theater, which you've played before, on November 30th such a great place. Uh, we're probably adding a show in Montreal, because that one's almost filled up. And then we're in Denver, colorado, at the Paramount theater, which is actually a big theater in Colorado. Yeah, uh, in Denver on December 5th. And then we wrap up the whole tour in New York City December 19th at the Beacon.
Speaker 1:Wow, hey, shalom, shalom, shalom, aleichem. That's going to be that. Can we just before we wrap? I mean, how long have we been on 50. 50. So quick. Just, we did a show. I spoke by the other podcast. We did, um, we did for an organization called tikva, which is mashiach energy. They work with orphans that are in the ukraine. Um, and they were working with them before russia attacked. Then they like had to get their game, even on another level. Anyway, the show was in London and the woman who runs the organization is friends with the Duchess of York, fergie I have her number now and Joan Collins.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, I saw the picture.
Speaker 1:And Joan Collins was there. So here I am doing the show and we go to the pre-show and the pre-dinner and the pre-speeches and the movies that tore your heart out. And then they had this orphan who spoke about the abuse she witnessed to her mother and stepmother and stepfather and what she's going through and how they got her out, and all of that. Fergie spoke before and she said I love that you called me Fergie. That means we're friends, I love her. She went up there with a cup of wine. She got all the rabbi's names wrong and was hysterical. And then we did a big toast to the king, because we are in England, and you did a toast and a l'chaim to the king. He should be well and live long. And then um and and and then so she had, she was with some hot guy, like he was hot older, he's a jeweler, he's a jeweler, he's a hot guy.
Speaker 1:And then Joan Collins was there oh and I saw her and I don't I'm not a fan, but I said I want a picture of joan collins and I got a pic and then it ended up they wanted me in the picture like, oh, we'd like to have you would like.
Speaker 1:They asked me to do it with, with fergie, and we did, and, and we did it. Okay, now I get on stage. I'm literally following this girl who has just ripped everyone's heart out, her story, how she wants to be a teacher and what Tikva has done for her, and she's like the most special girl you could ever imagine in the world.
Speaker 3:And then and here's Modi I'm on.
Speaker 1:You slayed the house. I start and only thing I can see there's a table in front of me and a table behind that of. I'm just watching Fergie Joan Collins and Joan Collins travels with gays these two tall gay guys. She had A-plus gays. A-plus gays With like double-breasted suits, herringbone, this, that matching tie shoes, teeth white as a cloud and like hi yeah, yeah, yeah, those kind of gays they were cute, they were so cute.
Speaker 1:And Joan Collins is sitting like oh God, now we got to go hook, I guess, to throw a comedian. And then I just started killing and I go my husband and she goes husband, and then we just I just did all the gay material and the place was dying and I'm just watching Joan Collins cracking up and I said, I mean, this for me is just like heaven. I'm literally performing for Joan Collins and Fergie. Does it get better than that?
Speaker 3:That is unbelievable and Slade.
Speaker 1:It's not like I did a good show, it was a good show. Everybody's like, yeah, and I'm like, and I'm at the Palladium, anna and Fergie goes where's this Leo? And give me your number and she starts texting. She was so sweet to Leo and it was just what a Mashiach energy event Tikvah was. And shine, shine, wrap it up. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 3:All the shows leo mentioned are on modi livecom at perriel ashenbrand on instagram.
Speaker 2:Info at modi livecom goes directly to me and I'm going to put the po box in the description.
Speaker 1:Yeah, send you guys, send all of you all the stuff you want us to to to experience and we can see if we talk about it or not.
Speaker 2:Please know all packages are screened at the secure location where they're received. Amen, thank you all very much for listening.