The Luminous Path of Abstinence and Devotion

Have you ever met someone whose life is a beacon of conviction, illuminating the essence of faith and purity? Monique's narrative, which she unveils with heartening candor, is exactly that—a luminescent testament to living a spiritually guided life from the formative years. Her tale takes us from a childhood rooted deeply in Christian faith, under the nurturing guidance of her mother in sunny Southern California, to standing firm in her beliefs amidst the high school hallways. It's a journey marked by steadfast adherence to her favorite scripture, Matthew 5:44, and the extraordinary miracles that have punctuated her path, deepening her resolve in the omnipresence of God.

Yet there's a counter-current to her story that's equally compelling—embracing the road less traveled of singleness and purity in a society that often challenges such choices. Monique has penned her insights in "Pursuing Purity Under Pressure," navigating through the overlooked whys of abstinence and shedding light on its personal and spiritual rewards. Her latest work, "Satisfyingly Single for Now," takes listeners through the fulfilling aspects of living a single life, all the while laying the groundwork for potential future relationships. Her words resonate with encouragement, advocating for a life of contentment and self-improvement, with a dash of unwavering faith for those on their own spiritual voyages. Join us for a conversation that promises not just to inspire but also to empower listeners in their pursuit of a life anchored in purpose and divine connection.

Chapters

• 0:00 Preserving Purity Through Faith
• 11:05 Embracing Singleness and Pursuing Purity

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You're listening to the Living Unapologetically podcast, where you'll learn to thrive living the unapologetic lifestyle with your host Shakita. She'll discuss entrepreneurship, life, faith, dating and everything in between. You'll be unapologetically you and she'll be well unapologetically her. And now here's your host.

Speaker 2: 0:24

Shakita, welcome, welcome, welcome everyone. I am so excited about our guest on today. Oh my goodness. She is a mighty woman of God and it has been my pleasure it is like an extreme pleasure to have her here with us on today. I'd just like to introduce everyone to Monique. Hi, monique, and welcome to the Living Unapologetically podcast. How are you today? I'm good. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 3: 0:54

Much appreciated.

Speaker 2: 0:55

Oh, you are so welcome, so let's just jump right into it. Why don't you go ahead and tell us your favorite scripture or quote?

Speaker 3: 1:04

Go ahead and tell us your favorite scripture or quote. Favorite scripture is tough. A few come to mind, but I will say Matthew 544, which is Jesus saying but I say unto you love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those that hate you and pray for those that spitefully use you and persecute you. And that has definitely been a verse that I memorized at a young age in regards to coming up against people, especially people who don't like you because of your faith, and so that definitely has been a verse that I have held on to.

Speaker 2: 1:39

That is a very, very beautiful verse and you know people don't really say that one often very, very beautiful verse, and you know people don't really say that one often so yeah, definitely powerful. Why don't you tell us about your testimony?

Speaker 3: 1:54

Okay, so I do have a bit of a unique story. I asked Jesus in my heart when I was three years old and I remember it still and I was sitting on top of the blue slide in kids church and they asked if explain the gospel very simply and asked if we want to ask Jesus in our heart. And I raised my hand. I remember bowing my head and praying and at four years old my mom started teaching me scripture. She started memorizing the Bible with me. She started teaching me about faith, and so, because of that, my story is one you know, we always hear that God is such a redeemer which he is and we always hear the stories of redemption, but mine is more of a story of preservation. God's also into preservation, but mine is more of a story of preservation, god's also into preservation.

Speaker 3: 2:46

And so, because of developing a relationship with God at such a young age and really coming to understand how real he was, I never got into drugs, drinking I'm still a virgin. I'm waiting until marriage to have sex. Never was on the party scene Like I don't even cuss, like I don't like it just is one of those things where God really has kept me and he really has preserved me, even being in the midst of you know the culture we're in, born and raised here in Southern California, and I almost kind of feel like Samuel, in the sense of the Bible says, how, you know, in the midst of the depraved culture that he was raised in, because even Eli's sons were so wicked, but even in the midst of that God preserved him and God kept him and that's kind of what I felt like God's done for me. So that's a little bit of my story.

Speaker 2: 3:40

Hallelujah, what a powerful testimony. Three years old, yes, wow, and you still remember.

Speaker 3: 3:49

I do, I remember. That's why, when people say, like, when kids, you know, tell you things or that they saw Jesus or an angel came and visited them or something, and how people want to kind of dismiss it. But it's like, no, I know it's real and because of encounters that I've had with god since I was a little girl. So it's like, and little kids have so much faith, you know, and so my mom really instilled so much of the things that got in me a little at such a young age and that's why at four she started memorizing, teaching me verses and we'd go over scriptures and teaching me how to pray and um, so, yeah, so that is, um, a little bit of a different story, cause then, even as I got older, um, I talk about it in my book and um, when I was 10 years old, my mom had me reading 10 chapters a day. Wow, and that became a norm. And so I didn't like it because I was like, no, you know, so, um, but all through from like 10 up until like high school, I read 10 chapters every single day in my bible, like that was a norm. So it was kind of like so much of the word was put in me that by the time I got to high school, high school was my mission field and when a problem came up, like right away scripture will come up, because I knew what God's word said, because I'd spent so much time putting it in me, and so that's why my high school was like my mission field.

Speaker 3: 5:12

You know, I was witnessing to my teachers.

Speaker 3: 5:14

I was witnessing to other people in class, I was laying hands on them and praying for them and I saw so many instant healings and miracles. And my teachers as I pray for them, they would be crying and weeping because, like the presence of God came into the classroom and and so it's like for me, I had such a realization of how real God was. But there was really nothing that the world had to offer that was tempting. Like you could keep your sex and your drugs because I just prayed for this guy and he just threw his crutches away in the trash. Like God instantly healed him, like so it was one of those things where it was like I knew that I knew God was never just like my mom's faith or my mom's religion. No, he was real to me, like he was my God, and I knew that at such a young age. So that's why I know that I have a little bit of a different testimony not the norm but I'm so grateful for God, for preservation, because that's really good.

Speaker 2: 6:09

That is just so powerful, that testimony that you have, literally you seeing just that type of supernatural healing almost instantaneously, just the miracle signs and wonders in high school. That is so radical. Now you mentioned that you are still a virgin and you know that is something that is like what Everybody's ears are like what.

Speaker 2: 6:35

Right, and you don't have to tell us how old you are. But can you give us a range of your age so that the listeners can kind of see, right, that you can still be a virgin in 2024, right, yeah, um, uh I don't mind sharing my age. Okay, yeah, so I'm 41 years old, so no guys, I am looking at this woman right here. You talk about preservation. I'm thinking she's going to say 26, 27. You're 41, monique.

Speaker 2: 7:12

No way, I have to see your ID after this I have to. So, before we dive into the book and your mission and your ministry, you must tell us how have you been able to obtain, you know, how have you been able to sustain, in such a wicked and perverse generation, keeping your purity, keeping your heart, keeping your mouth, allowing God to keep your mind? What are some of the things, things you did. What would you say to people that are listening, that want to you know, repent today and live this life right. What are some things that you would give them?

Speaker 3: 7:54

definitely spending time in the word, like I cannot stress that enough. Um, there's a pastor that I love and he always have a love affair with your Bible. Where. Get it in you, read it, memorize it, ingest it, get it in you, and that's something that really has, I can honestly say, preserve me, because knowing what the word says, applying God's word to my life, living it out, acting it out on faith, has definitely helped sustain me. Now, it doesn't mean I'm not tempted. It doesn't mean I haven't been tempted, because I talk about that in the first book of the.

Speaker 3: 8:29

There was a time where I almost did have sex and it came really close to it.

Speaker 3: 8:34

But even in that moment it was like I heard the Holy Spirit talking to me and it was just one of those things where it's like I couldn't even enjoy the moment because God was like right there in the middle of it and so and that is just the goodness of God, really yes, so honestly, getting the word in you and really developing a relationship with God.

Speaker 3: 8:57

But I also don't put myself in situations, though, because you know God's very clear when he says in Romans make no provision for the flesh, okay, don't, don't give yourself an opportunity to fall into sin, and so I do what I can to not do so, like even when I'm in relationships and even in dating. Like since that time when that first happened, I've never come close to that again happening, and so you know learning from that so I don't put myself in situations where that could even happen. So being in the word, developing your relationship with God and avoiding situations, not purposely putting yourself in situations that's going to cause you to compromise, is how you can really preserve yourself until your mate comes.

Speaker 2: 9:48

Yes, oh, my goodness, that is it right there. That is so well said, well said, and don't you? I mean, I love it when you are right there, right, and then you hear the Holy Spirit right and like you said he's right there. You know, I'm like, oh, like you said, you can't even.

Speaker 3: 10:10

I was so conscious of him and I was so conscious of not allowing something to happen. Yes, because the Holy Spirit's right there, like talking to me. He's like no the.

Speaker 1: 10:22

Holy Spirit's right there like talking to me.

Speaker 3: 10:24

He's like, no, don't let it. No, don't let it, and so it's like, oh my gosh, even in the midst of that like he's just so merciful and so good. Yes, praise God, You're about to fall into sin, Like he just yeah, and praise God.

Speaker 2: 10:35

Well, praise God, that is so beautiful, you know. Let's talk a little bit, monique, about your mission, kind of what you're doing today. Let's talk about your books. Let's talk about when God started leading you to write and kind of what that looked like and what you've written and where we can buy your books, where we can find your books.

Speaker 3: 10:56

Okay. So it's kind of funny because actually so I'm a worship leader and I actually travel ministry doing worship and that's always been my thing since I was a teenager. And then, probably about I'd say four or five years ago, randomly I had three different friends who don't even know each other all call me in a two week period and they all started off saying you need to write a book. And I was like what you know? So I was like I'm not a writer, I'm a singer, I don't do that.

Speaker 3: 11:26

And so after the third one I was like, okay, god, maybe I should write a book, you know. And they were all saying about you know, because at that time, I think when I wrote the first book, I was 39, and so you know they're like Monique, more people need to hear your story, more people need to know that there's people out there like you and you know, because I'm not socially awkward or weird or ugly or you know, like I think people I really wanted to kind of shatter the stereotype that if you're a virgin, there must be something wrong with you, like you're ugly, really, really overweight, can't get a date, like they think there's something, and so I really kind of wanted to shatter that stereotype.

Speaker 2: 12:12

Because you're beautiful, like Like. You look like a model. I'm looking at a 10. You are incredibly beautiful, incredibly beautiful, I must say.

Speaker 3: 12:28

Thank you, I so appreciate that. So when I wrote the first book the first book is called Pursuing Purity Under Pressure and because I understand being raised in Southern California, which is, like you know, all things sexual here and in the midst I went to public school my whole life, so I didn't go to like a private school or anything, and so just being in this culture but not partaking of the culture and how, because that's why the Bible tells us, you know, when God's speaking to the children of Israel, when he says come out from among them and be separate, and that's how we're supposed to do in the midst of a perverse and crooked generation. We're supposed to be separate, we're supposed to be different. And so in the first book I really talk about the why behind the weight, like why is God asking this of us? Us, because I think you know I grew up in church my whole life, but as a whole I will say I feel like the church kind of did an injustice when it came to teenagers in regards to this topic, because they wouldn't talk about sex, like it was just don't do it, wait until you're married, and that's it, and nobody went any further. And so I think we've been done an injustice in that sense where not really explaining why, and so I really wanted to give the why behind the weight, and so that's what the first book is about.

Speaker 3: 13:40

And then the second book I kind of feel like God's directing me a little bit more specifically to Christian singles, and that's kind of a lot where I've kind of been camped out here this last year or so. And the second book is called Satisfyingly Single for Now, and that one just came out this past November, so it's fairly new and it's to really help singles how to do singleness well and how to prepare yourself properly, how to be emotionally healthy before you get into a marriage, and so that's kind of the direction that God has led me to and really honed in on this. A lot of the events that I'm doing, a lot of the podcast interviews I've done, and I even started a mentorship program for Christian singles. So really because I can relate as a woman who is 41 years old, I've never been married, I don't have any children, I still have a desire for both, for marriage and children, and so I can relate in like God.

Speaker 3: 14:43

What's taking so long? What happened? Did I do something wrong? Like you know I can relate to all those questions and those wonderings, and so that's kind of the direction that, yeah, that God has me right now is to minister to singles. So that's where it's at.

Speaker 2: 15:01

That is so beautiful and that is so phenomenal, and I definitely want you to kind of because that is something I hear a lot why, god, why is it taking so long? Even me, you know, on my, you know four year journey of celibacy, and you're like Lord, you know, you're praying and you're like where is he? And you know what do you? What do you say to women that are at that place when they're calling you? They're like Monique, what do you like? What do you say to that? How do you encourage them?

Speaker 3: 15:38

Yeah, I do. I get a lot of dms. I even get like dms from men young men as well, in their 20s and um, but they're believing God for a wife. And so I always say you know, you've got to come to a place, first off, where you learn to be content with just you and God, like you've got to come to this place that if it never happened that you're not going to be bitter, you're not going to be mad at God, you're not going to be upset at him because you never got married. And so we've really and I know that's a lot that's a scary thing for a lot of singles because they're like I don't want to pray that, I don't want to do that. You know what I mean. And so it's like.

Speaker 3: 16:12

But I learned that I'd say in my thirties, like my mid thirties, where I was like, okay, god, if I never got married, it would just be me and you and I'm just going to go full force for you and that's okay, I will just love you all the more and I will have more time for you. And so I've already been content in my singleness and I think discontentment is something that singles really need to come out of that place into a place of contentment in their relationship with God. That is something I would say would be probably the most important thing. And then afterwards is working on yourself as an individual, because in order for us to have you know, we see the statistics of, even in church, merit like divorce is a 50% rate, but a lot of the problem is, I feel like, in order for us to have healthy marriages, we need healthy singles and people as individuals. A lot of people are not emotionally healthy. People as individuals. A lot of people are not emotionally healthy.

Speaker 3: 17:14

And it's really being introspective and taking a look at what things. Are there still childhood traumas you're dealing with? Is there still bitterness from a past relationship of someone breaking up with you? Is there still things that are still lingering that maybe you haven't even realized and maybe it actually still hurts because you never fully allowed yourself to heal. You just wanted to move on, because you didn't want to go through the process of healing, because that process can be painful, and so there's things that, introspectively, that we need to be healthy as single people.

Speaker 3: 17:49

And so, and if you have done those things because I have and I'm like I'm good lord what's, what's the hold up, you know, but even still, you just want to be in a place where it's like, okay, god, because then there's also like circumstances that we don't even know about that have to do with your mate, because maybe your mate's not actually ready for you yet, or do you know what I mean?

Speaker 3: 18:10

Like maybe you need to be in a position, physically, like a place that you need to be, but you're not ready to be at that place in order to meet that person. Like there's a lot of things, a lot of moving parts, and there's a lot of things that I think we don't realize and see behind the scenes. And so because of that, we get frustrated when realizing that you still have this opportunity, as a single person, to love Jesus even more. Because when you do get married, your time is going to be divided and God knows that and God's not bothered or offended by that but the fact that you still have him all to yourself right now. Enjoy that Love, that Like get the most out of it of your relationship with God before you enter into a relationship with someone else, into a marriage with somebody else. So that would be be like my encouragement to fellow singles in their season of singleness, and that's good.

Speaker 2: 19:02

That's good. You have to learn to be content. The apostle Paul says listen, I've been a base and I've been a bound. Right, we have to know what it's like and I like what you said. We have all this time with Jesus. Maximize right. Maximize on the time that you have with your Savior, with your Creator, with your Redeemer. Like utilize that time right.

Speaker 3: 19:26

I think that that like it's just well said, well said, I think at the end of the day, I think we forget that Jesus is the prize and I feel like we have put marriage on this pedestal of being end, all be all, and if I'm not married, that means there must be something wrong and I must have done something wrong. When Jesus is the prize, and I think we've forgotten that, and that is the place that I want to encourage singles to get back to that. Oh, he's so worth it. I saw that I have this quote that's on my social media that I pinned at the top because when I saw it I was like, oh my gosh, and it says Jesus is worth everything you're afraid of losing. And so it's like he is the prize, and so us falling in love with our Savior again and getting back to that place like it's just, that's full contentment right there and that's the place that we need to get to. So, yeah, he's the prize.

Speaker 2: 20:30

Amen, amen. You know, monique, this has been just so phenomenal. So what are your social media? How can we find you on social media? Where exactly can we find a book? And, closing up, what advice would you like to give the listeners?

Speaker 3: 20:49

Yes, so you can find me on Instagram. I am Monique DeLeon and then my website is my. I am Monique DeLeon and then my website is my name, moniquedeleoncom, and then you can just link through to everything to the podcast, to I have a blog, to the books, to the mentorship program, like you can link through to everything when you go to MoniqueDeLeoncom. All the links are there at the bottom of the page as well, but I'm very active on Instagram, so I am Monique DeLeoncom. All the links are there at the bottom of the page as well. So, but I'm very active on Instagram, so I am MoniqueDeLeon, I swear.

Speaker 2: 21:22

Amen and any. In your final, your final words, your final, what would you like to leave with the listeners?

Speaker 3: 21:31

So just be encouraged, don't be discouraged because it hasn't happened for you yet. Like I can relate. I fully understand. I'm like Lord, I'm getting older, but remember, god is me and you're still believing for children. Like I'm in my forties now and people are always trying to discourage me and be like you're high risk pregnancy, yada, yada, you're not gonna be able to have kids.

Speaker 3: 22:02

And I said no, no, like yes in the natural, but we serve a God who is supernatural. And so it's like I'm not concerned because God made this body, he knows how to preserve this body, how to keep all my eggs and my female organs functioning properly. Like that is what I'm believing for and I will give birth. I said God, even if you gave me one, I will be content with one. But I'm like, if I'm 45, having a baby, so be it. Like I'm not concerned because I know who I serve and my faith is there. And so it's like you know, get your faith up, be encouraged, don't be discouraged. Don't just think that you have to wait for someone to come in your life before you can really start living and enjoying it, because my mentorship program is called thriving in singlehood, because you can be thriving in this single season. So my encouragement is you be encouraged, get your faith up, spend that time with God in his presence, so yeah, it was so amazing spending this time with you, spending this time here with you.

Speaker 2: 23:04

Monique, you are just a light, just a firecracker, and I just bless God for this time. Thank you so much for coming on this podcast. I mean, I would love to have you back. I just thank God for this time. Thank you so much for coming on this podcast. I mean, I would love to have you back. I just I just thank God for this time and I thank God for your transparency and I thank God for you being with us on today. Thank you so much. May the Lord continue to bless you. Keep you is our prayer here. God bless you.

Speaker 3: 23:33

Thank you Much appreciated. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1: 23:37

You've been listening to Shakita on the Living Unapologetically podcast. Join us next Friday when she discusses more of faith, entrepreneurship and everything in between. Please visit our website for more information, wwwiamshakitacom, or on Instagram at. I am Shakita, and don't forget to like and subscribe.