Season 3 Episode 16: His Mercy Is More

Join our conversation about choosing to see the good in even the hardest of circumstances. 

Transcript

0:00:00 - Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

0:00:11 - Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

0:00:13 - Brian

I'm Brian and I'm Kayla. Welcome to this week's edition of how does the garden grow… peas and carrots. You get it. 

0:00:20 - Kayla

Oh Okay, it took me a sec, sorry, okay, here we are, all right. Well, right now it doesn't because I haven't planted anything, because all it's done is rain, but bitter party of one. So here we are Anyway. 

0:00:41 - Brian

Bitter party of one. Your table's ready. Bitter party of one, and we have a special tonight on spaghetti, okay. 

0:00:51 - Kayla

On a more positive note, what's up in the world of peas and carrots? Actually, it's what came down on the world of peas and carrots as I walked this morning. Oh yeah, you and a bird. We'll leave it here. We're going to keep this PG. As I was walking my mile, a bird blessed you this morning. Yes, right, it here. We're going to keep this pg. As I was walking my mile, a bird blessed you this morning. 

0:01:07 - Brian

Yes, right on the front of your shirt. Yes, I wasn't wearing a hat, so I'm thankful. I'm a little thankful. I have a gut that it hit that, because that sticks out and it didn't hit me on my head. So, yeah, it's first time in my life I've ever been blessed by a bird. It happened to me at the beach. 

0:01:25 - Kayla

Yeah, I was so mad. I was just minding my business reading my book and bloop, and it even hit your chair. Yes, it was nasty. Well, seagulls put out a lot. Okay, let's stop. I'm just saying it's a wrap. 

0:01:40 - Brian

It's a wrap. 

0:01:41 - Kayla

Our fundraising season is done. 

0:01:43 - Brian

It's a wrap. 

0:01:43 - Kayla

Our fundraising season is done. Yes, it officially ended yesterday, thank you Lord, and we'll share our results here in just a few minutes. But we have seen the goodness of God. 

0:01:53 - Brian

Yes, we have. We certainly have Thank you, I did something for the first time. 

0:02:00 - Kayla

You did. Okay, so technically you did two things. For the first time, you actually picked up a fiction book, which I encouraged you to do, so I'm kind of feeling like I went up in flames on this, but you gave up on it. 

0:02:15 - Brian

I actually read half of it. You did. 

0:02:17 - Kayla

I read and out of kindness to the author we are not going to share the name but it just wasn't for you, and this was the first time I've ever seen you set down a book. 

0:02:26 - Brian

Because I have what's called writer's guilt, Like because I'm a writer, I've written two books and, like, I know the pain and the creativity and the hours and the work it takes to write a book. I know all that, yeah, but I got. This is a 400-page New York Times bestseller and I'm really I got this is a 400-page New York. Times bestseller and I'm really. I mean I read 200 pages of this and set it down. 

0:02:53 - Kayla

I mean books need to move faster than I think. You might need to flex your muscle a little more. On fiction, though, I'm going to get another book for you to try again. 

0:03:00 - Brian

No, I'm not reading. No frou-frou thing. 

0:03:03 - Kayla

I don't think I said frou-frou, I used the word fiction, okay. 

0:03:07 - Brian

So calm it down. Well, you also read all that murder stuff. 

0:03:10 - Kayla

I'm not going to make you do that yet. Okay, so Yet. So I started a new habit. The last couple of weeks I started walking a mile a day, really During my break. Really I thought I would miss running. So this was part of my hesitation, other than the fact that I'm just lazy and I kind of thought, well, this is going to make me feel me because I used to love running, but on my breaks I've been going and like walking near work and there's this cute little church that I walk by and I go into the neighborhood and then I come back. I'm really enjoying this. And not to belabor this, but an update on the hip after the fall down the stairs, I think it's really helped with that. 

0:04:01 - Brian

It's healed. 

0:04:01 - Kayla

So my hip is well and I think the walking is only doing. 

0:04:06 - Brian

We got a Disney trip in about three weeks. Do not fall, you're welcome. 

0:04:10 - Kayla

Okay, okay, just felt that you are picking up a new sleep machine at the day of this recording. Can I say hallelujah and amen. 

0:04:26 - Brian

Because at the beginning of fundraising season I guess the first or second night of fundraising season- the motor decided to start dying. 

0:04:35 - Kayla

So this is all I've heard for six weeks, as your motor is. 

0:04:44 - Brian

Interacting with my breathing. That's what it's doing, and so we've had everybody loves Raymond playing at night. All kind of things, trying to drown it out what I liked is when I got up to pee at one o'clock Golden Girls was on. 

0:04:57 - Kayla

Oh, my word, that was pretty good. 

0:04:59 - Brian

TMI. Oh, but there we go. I'm sure the people on this podcast, the people listening, go pee. 

0:05:06 - Kayla

Okay, some of us use the word potty, oh, but all right. 

0:05:09 - Brian

Okay, potty, wow. Okay, this is where we are. This is the end of five weeks of fundraising. Six, six, my filter's a little broken. 

0:05:20 - Kayla

Not to be clarifying or anything, but Not to be. 

0:05:26 - Brian

We got to get to the next segment. 

0:05:31 - Kayla

Life is a series of ups and downs. That's a given. We all know that there's no perfect day. You're not promised anything, but I am not sure that we have ever seen a season as wild as the past three months. 

0:05:48 - Brian

Yeah, there's a spiritual principle here. If you listen to the episodes where we talked with our friends Adam and Tricia Reed, we actually talked about this spiritual principle and I told Kay this morning I'd like to dedicate a segment of our podcast back to this principle. Again, it's a principle that I call tiny mercies. Okay, because when there's so much stuff going on, that's bad. Yeah, I have to look for the good. Because here's my thing If you're constantly hearing the bad, it's going to bring you down. Or if you constantly focus on the bad, guess what it's going to do to you? Yeah, it's going to bring you down. So you got to look for the good. For me, when you're going through bad things, when you're walking through the valley of the shadow, don't just focus on that. Look for where else God is working and remind yourself of that. 

0:06:45 - Kayla

We've hinted at this in other ways. When my dad passed away you know that I went through a very hard season. I developed a habit of keeping a gratitude journal. 

0:06:55 - Brian

Hmm. 

0:06:56 - Kayla

This is kind of like a living breathing gratitude journal, and I still do that to this day because we all trend toward the negative. There's just so much of it in the world. Tiny mercies, seeing them, accepting who they are from, keep us from just drowning in the negative. So we're going to walk through some things that have happened. 

0:07:23 - Brian

In just the last five to six weeks. 

0:07:26 - Kayla

Yeah. 

0:07:27 - Brian

So first of all, probably one of my I mean, he's one of my best friends in the world. He's my executive assistant. He's navigating the house fire. 

0:07:37 - Kayla

Yeah. 

0:07:37 - Brian

His house caught on fire. 

0:07:38 - Kayla

And every week comes with a new layer to it. Yes, now they're okay, nobody got hurt. The house is yeah, his house caught on fire, and every week comes with a new layer to it. 

0:07:41 - Brian

Yes, now they're okay. Nobody got hurt, the house is being cleaned, so there's that, and then. 

0:07:48 - Kayla

We have a sweet friend who she suddenly lost her dog and then learned on the heels of that that she was going to need a biopsy after a mammogram that showed some concerns. 

0:08:01 - Brian

Then we had the sudden loss of a team member at PAR. He was a friend. He was on our future leadership team, which meant I interacted with him a lot as a mentor. 

0:08:13 - Kayla

You two basically texted daily. 

0:08:15 - Brian

Yes, I loved him. He was like a son, he was like a younger brother and just pouring into him and the Lord took him home. I mean 44 years old, I was just crushed. 

0:08:30 - Kayla

We have a friend who lost her mother-in-law and within days of that she lost her aunt. 

0:08:34 - Brian

Yes, we have a friend whose daughter was also in a car accident. Everybody's listening to this right now and going. We are not getting around the Sanders for the next few months. We are going to avoid y'all. 

0:08:48 - Kayla

We have a friend who's walking a relative through dementia. 

0:08:52 - Brian

And then your grandma passed away. 

0:08:53 - Kayla

Yeah, we lost my grandma, and one of your best friends lost his dad. 

0:08:57 - Brian

Yes. 

0:08:58 - Kayla

And I mean there are things that forgive us if we have not highlighted it. That is just the icing on the cake of what has been going on behind the scenes. 

And at the same time now, this is not to belabor this point we've been in a fundraising season which is it's exhausting and it's a spiritual attack at times, because you're putting God's message out there 12, 13 hours a day and you're asking people to worship him with their money, and the enemy does not like that, and so it's a given. We know that hard things are going to happen during fundraising season. This one has just felt to use one of the kids' terms it's felt extra, I mean. 

0:09:45 - Brian

What's that More? 

0:09:47 - Kayla

A lot. 

0:09:48 - Brian

Okay. 

0:09:49 - Kayla

But even so we have seen so many tiny mercies. 

0:09:55 - Brian

The Lord's protection of our friends and the provision as they almost literally rebuild their home, I mean the Lord's taking care of them. 

0:10:03 - Kayla

Yeah. 

0:10:04 - Brian

And provided, and I will try to help him focus on that too. 

0:10:09 - Kayla

on the good, the reminders. Yeah, we got news that the biopsy that revealed some issues. None of them are invasive carcinoma and all of them are benign. We're thankful for that so thankful. 

0:10:25 - Brian

A team of 65 people that's poured out love, even as they collectively grieve so many losses. This team fundraised through grief. They fundraised through all these different. It's been like a pinball machine getting hit here, hit here, and yet they kept moving forward. 

0:10:42 - Kayla

The resilience. 

0:10:43 - Brian

Yes. 

0:10:44 - Kayla

And the care. Yeah, we have both seen. Now this is something you and I talk about a lot and we could spend an hour just on this. Prayer comes easy to me. It's hard. I love to pray, but it's been a growth process for you. 

0:11:01 - Brian

For years. 

0:11:02 - Kayla

You find studying and reading easier. 

0:11:04 - Brian

Oh, it comes like a second nature, I feel like. 

0:11:06 - Kayla

Talking to God is just. It's a constant for me, and yet we have both seen a deepening of that. 

0:11:13 - Brian

In the last two or three months, the Lord's turned my heart. Now I still read, I still study, I still love it. 

0:11:19 - Kayla

Yeah. 

0:11:22 - Brian

But I also find myself throughout the day I'll just be praying. I've never been like that before, Never. I will still do my main prayers in the morning, but throughout the day I'll just be praying and I'm like, who am I? Now? That's not bragging on me, it's that. That's a tiny mercy the Lord has given me during this season, he's changed your heart. Well, you needed changing. 

0:11:46 - Kayla

There's been a true slowing down. We've had to choose rest at times and we have found peace in the simplest of things. It's not been anything grand or epic that has given us joy. It's been the little things. 

0:12:00 - Brian

We have a church family that's continued to bless and grow us, and Bible study classes and sermons reminded us again and again of who he is, no matter how life is. I was texting with our pastor the other night and this is just another tiny mercy. And it's also hilarious. I got a new book on theology and so I just took a picture of it and I texted it to him. And what does he text me back? A picture of a Dr Seuss book. In other words, you're reading that and I'm reading this. That's hilarious. 

0:12:32 - Kayla

Absolutely hilarious. We had had a really tough day. It was just. Leadership comes with its own level of drama, but this day just had about three days worth. On our drive home, there was a beautiful rainbow. Reminder of a promise, and it was a reminder of a promise, and it was as if God was whispering I've got this, and it was just. It was a very sweet moment. A friend left random flowers on the front porch. 

0:13:04 - Brian

Nobody does that for me. I don't get random flowers. 

0:13:07 - Kayla

Oh, OK. 

0:13:08 - Brian

Well, you got to enjoy them I found that sweet for you that during your grief, your friend. 

0:13:14 - Kayla

Oh, it was. 

0:13:15 - Brian

it was beautiful, just showed up with the just left him on the front porch. 

0:13:18 - Kayla

And I enjoyed them for like two and a half weeks. I just I didn't want to let them go. 

0:13:24 - Brian

A fundraising season that went from four weeks to six because of the loss of a team member, and yet the Lord blessed us with 103% of goal. Who would have thought? I mean, I'm sitting here, blown away. 

0:13:38 - Kayla

Knowing what people are having to spend for groceries and gas, and there's all the things. There's graduation parties, there's end of year this and end of year that, and for people to say, oh, I want to support this ministry, Absolutely wild. 

0:13:53 - Brian

I've also felt the closeness of the Lord in this season. I mean, I don't say that lightly, because most of the times I don't feel him, and that's normal life, but he has been near to us in the last four to six weeks. 

0:14:09 - Kayla

Yeah, it's nothing to shake off. When you feel a peace that is unnatural, when you're going through hard thing after hard thing and you see the Lord's goodness in giving you peace, even for moments of the day. I hope you can stop and say that's God, Because we're not wired for that as humans. We just aren't. 

0:14:36 - Brian

I'm also thankful for the kindness of friendships. 

0:14:39 - Kayla

Oh, my goodness, yes, we have had so many text messages and cards, and a friend even took the time. This blew me away. She had some wind chimes inscribed with my grandmother's name, and so when I see them and the wind blows, it's to remind me of her and the Lord's goodness. People have gifted us plants and I'm going to do my best, y'all, to keep them alive. Don't get your hopes up. Y'all Stop. We've been given meals and, yeah, it's just and not just us. I have seen this play out for team member after team member. I've seen our church do this for loved ones in our church that are going through hard times or in different seasons, and this is what it looks like. This is what the tiny mercies look like when life is tough. 

0:15:36 - Brian

So again, here's the spiritual principle when you're going through stuff, even on days when you're not, keep a little folder or keep a journal and write down the tiny mercies, write down the good you see, don't just focus on the negative stuff you're going through. Turn your head and look and see where else he is working, what you're learning about him, what you're learning about yourself, and that will actually encourage your heart to keep on going. 

0:16:05 - Kayla

It will. It's twofold. I will say this when you are able to reframe your thinking and see his mercy, you also become a person that shows it to others. 

0:16:18 - Brian

Amen, so keep hope alive. Look for the tiny mercies. Well, this is your topic. You've been bringing this up. 

0:16:32 - Kayla

I have and, okay, I'm going to be brave because this comes with. First of all, it comes with a confession. I was getting ready for church a couple of weeks ago and it was one of those weeks where I had not planned well. I did not get my outfit together. 

0:16:49 - Brian

the night before. When have we planned? There's that. 

0:16:54 - Kayla

I was trying to get ready for church, I was trying to put an outfit together. Everything I tried on it was either too tight or it was uncomfortable, or I just it didn't feel appropriate for the weather and I had a little bit of a meltdown, and you didn't know it at the time. But I mean I had a mini meltdown because I was just so irked with myself and with this phase of life. 

0:17:22 - Brian

And I'm downstairs watching Meet the Press, thinking you know, everything's fine and I, just I am that person. This phase of life. 

0:17:26 - Kayla

I'm downstairs watching Meet the Press, thinking you know, everything's fine and I, just I am that person, and please don't roll your eyes if you're listening to this. For 45 years of my life, the number on the scale was exactly the same. It may have fluctuated one or two degrees, but I had this crazy metabolism. I could eat anything. Now, if I sniff cake, I gain three pounds. 

0:17:49 - Brian

That's not true. It is it's not true? 

0:17:52 - Kayla

I sniff cake. So it was just. It was this moment where I, just I was so frustrated because I have a closet full of beautiful clothes that I felt like were just haunting me, closet full of beautiful clothes that I felt like were just haunting me, which led me into a spiral of well, this is your own fault because of this, this, this and this. But then I had to take a step back and remind myself of some things. Loving ourselves, even when we don't like certain aspects, is crucial to remembering whose we are. God doesn't define any of us by the way we look, or by our weight, or by how many goals we're crushing. 

0:18:35 - Brian

This is a huge hurdle for me. I'm trying not to get emotional because I have struggled with my weight since I was a child. Yeah, I have been on. I've been on over probably over 200 diets in my time, my lifetime member of Jenny Craig. I don't go there anymore. 

0:18:53 - Kayla

Do they even still exist? 

0:18:54 - Brian

Yeah, you go online. Oh, okay, but this is a huge issue for me because this is really personal. Every day, in my prayer app, I actually ask forgiveness for my size and I ask him to forgive me for being this large, because I feel like it's a sin for me to be like this. 

0:19:16 - Kayla

Oh mercy. 

0:19:17 - Brian

So I appreciate your words that we have to love ourselves, even though there may not be certain aspects of ourselves that we don't like. 

0:19:25 - Kayla

Yeah, and that's hard to do. It just is Because we can easily become our own critic. 

0:19:33 - Brian

Every day. Now let me say this there's nothing wrong with pursuing a healthier us. 

0:19:39 - Kayla

No, because we're both doing that. Yes, yeah. 

0:19:43 - Brian

But you've got to pursue Christ more yes, then you got to pursue Christ more yes, then you have to pursue that. So, because I can't believe, I'm going to say this you're not a number on a scale you're not I feel like I am yeah but we're not and my appearance and certain things I mean the aesthetic of our home or the life's comforts that we've acquired. 

0:20:09 - Kayla

None of that sits higher than our image in Christ. And so, yeah, it's. Am I seeing the needs of those around me as I see my own goals and desires? Am I accepting again whose I am, rather than the conditions that I've put on being seen as good and yeah, and fitting into this mold of society? That, yeah, which lends me to this, and this is the whole thing that I've been chewing on for the last few weeks. It really matters the voices we listen to. Not everyone needs to cold plunge. That's this big trend now where everyone's doing these cold plunges or detox or drink a gallon of water every day. 

0:21:02 - Brian

Is a cold plunge, like where you jump in the ice water. 

0:21:05 - Kayla

Yeah. I ain't doing that well it's. It's this big trend right now, but it's not necessarily safe for everyone jacket I'd give it a go but also, just because I may embrace minimal minimalism in some areas of my life, it doesn't mean that everyone has to, and there'll be other areas where I don't so, but here's the thing. 

So this is kind of two-sided and I may sound like I'm contradicting myself. When we do refuse to hear from others because we don't want to feel challenged or perhaps gifted a perspective that can help us to learn and grow, then we're limiting ourselves, because this is why it is so important to assess the voices that are yours. 

This kind of builds on the whole boundary thing we talked about last time, but you need people who are speaking truth to you. So this is not saying that no one gets to have a say, but you have to be the one to decide what you take away from that. And if you block everyone out and say, well, no one's going to tell me what's good for me or what's bad for me, and I'm just going to put on my blinders, because, truthfully, one of the best things I did was listen to a trainer who helped me to believe that I could accomplish things that I never would have dreamed I could, and helped me overcome a sugar addiction and helped me to focus on specific goals, but at the same time, I've had to find my own way on a few things like something as silly as okay, this is how much water I should drink today. But we live in a world where so much messaging is coming at us. 

0:22:53 - Brian

Everybody. 

0:22:55 - Kayla

And there's this bent towards and I'm just being real, I had to even check myself there is this bent towards secular messaging that is drowning out biblical truth and what Christ would tell us to do in relationships and in taking care of the temple that he's given us, which is our body, and various other things. And so, yeah, it's a lot more to unpack, but yeah, y'all, don't forget this Our bodies, they are complicated. 

0:23:26 - Brian

In the relationship that we have with them, and even the people that, like you, adore, like I'd like to be like that person, there's things about their body that they hate. Yeah, they absolutely hate. So find your best path and walk. It's all I can say. Is that wisdom, or is that? 

0:23:43 - Kayla

Oh, absolutely, and I love what a friend shared with me several years back. What if we take a moment to appreciate all the seasons that our bodies have carried us through? What if we think about all the ways that our bodies have cared for us in good and bad times? 

0:24:03 - Brian

We haven't given up yet that get you. 

0:24:09 - Kayla

Yeah, that got me. 

0:24:12 - Brian

I can tell you this I'm out of summer and fall. I think I'm in winter. 

0:24:15 - Kayla

Stop Seriously. If we take a step back and think about all that our bodies have done to serve us, maybe we would be a little kinder to them. 

0:24:29 - Brian

I will try, I'm going to promise. Oh, I know. 

0:24:32 - Kayla

Well, this is hard for all of us. 

0:24:34 - Brian

It could carry a little bit more ice cream, and I'm sure that there's going to be another meltdown when I need to put an outfit together. 

0:24:41 - Kayla

Well, let me know, so I'm not down there, clueless watching Meet the Press outfit together. 

0:24:42 - Brian

Well, let me know, so I'm not down there clueless watching Meet the Press. Hey, thanks for listening to this week's edition of the Peas and Carrots podcast and, by the way, we'd like to send you a Peas and Carrots coffee mug. 

0:24:55 - Kayla

Yes, and Cute little stickers. 

0:24:58 - Brian

There's a How's that go. Cute little stickers. 

0:25:02 - Kayla

She loves. I love the stickers. She does so the first two folks to go to our website, which is Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

0:25:10 - Brian

When you get there, what do you look for? 

0:25:12 - Kayla

Look for the trivia button. Okay, and you answer this week's trivia question, which is “what is a tiny mercy in your life?” So go to our website Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

0:25:28 - Brian

Click on the trivia button and what's this week's question? 

0:25:31 - Kayla

What is a tiny mercy in your life? 

0:25:34 - Brian

Yeah, answer that question. We'll send you a coffee mug and some cute little stickers. 

0:25:41 - Kayla

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots podcast. And hey, you can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

0:25:47 - Brian

And, hey, you can also search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit us at our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. And when you do, please don't forget to subscribe to the podcast. And, by the way, what are those stickers again, what do you call them? They're cute and little. 

0:26:05 - Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life's not perfect. That's why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.