Season 3, Episode 21: Our Sunshine State of Mind

A few stories from our recent FL trip and some insights into how this year is going. 

Transcript

0:00:00 - Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

0:00:11 - Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. 

0:00:13 - Brian

I'm Brian and I'm Kayla and we both have severe sinus drainage. 

0:00:18 - Kayla

Yeah, nothing like coming back to Virginia after two weeks in Florida. 

0:00:23 - Brian

So and of course, I'm allergy bubble boy, I'm allergic to everything you are so yeah, here we are. So what's up in the world of Peas and Carrots? 

0:00:33 - Kayla

Disney was amazing and hot. 

0:00:37 - Brian

We went and, as of this recording, we've been back from Disney three or four days and we already miss it. 

0:00:45 - Kayla

We do I will say this we had a lot of concerned people and we love you for that. We did not have a lot of rain in our area. Now South Florida got hammered. 

0:00:57 - Brian

Now I'll say this we had a couple of rain showers, we had a lot of hot. It was hot. It was hot, I mean ridiculous. 

0:01:05 - Kayla

We learned why we like to go in March and December. 

0:01:08 - Brian

Yeah, so it was um, but they had some kind of a tropical trough. It wasn't a system. Yeah, just camp over south Florida like around Miami yeah, for days and it just uh flooded them. 

0:01:22 - Kayla

So I mean we had a couple of typical afternoon thunderstorms, but it was amazing, so yeah, so over the course of those days, Miss Kayla, how far did we walk? We stopped counting at 50 miles. We just said we're not counting anymore. 

0:01:41 - Brian

And here's the crazy thing we walked 50 miles and I gained five pounds. That's not what I was going for Did you really? 

0:01:50 - Kayla

I did Well B. I had dessert with every meal and ice cream and cookies and more ice cream. 

0:01:57 - Brian

I didn't see you have a cookie. 

0:02:00 - Kayla

Well, it doesn't mean I didn't have it. Oh, we did have those Oreos in the room, didn't we? 

0:02:03 - Brian

Well, it doesn't mean I didn't have it. Oh, we did have those. 

0:02:04 - Kayla

Oreos in the room, didn't we? I had all kinds of things, and I'm here for it. I'm not ashamed, I will say this. I've already got back down to like just two pounds, so we're good, I'm getting back. 

0:02:17 - Brian

I don't know how that happened. Okay. Well eating salads doesn't hurt, let me say this we walked 50 miles. We flew home on a Tuesday. Wednesday was a rest day. We went to the gym Thursday morning. 

0:02:31 - Kayla

Yes. 

0:02:32 - Brian

It almost killed us. After two weeks away yes, and I talked to the young lady there who was the trainer that day and I told her she says your body is still recovering from walking 50 miles. 

0:02:43 - Kayla

Yeah, because. 

0:02:44 - Brian

I was literally doing this exercise where I was taking a plate putting over. When I say a plate, it's like a 10 pound weight and you pick it up, put it over your head, deck down. You do that 30 times. I almost cried. It hurt that bad. I mean, it was ridiculous. 

0:03:00 - Kayla

But it was well worth it, and we do. We have lots of stories to share. We will was well worth it, and we do. We have lots of stories to share. We will save those for just a few minutes. Um, a teaser. We will go ahead and share one b. You had kind of an awkward experience in the bathroom well, that's awkward to phrase it like that. 

0:03:20 - Brian

Uh, so you're about to learn more about me than you ever bargained for. So I wear suspenders underneath my shirts. Keeps your pants up. So it keeps my pants up. I don't want to tuck my shirts in and wear suspenders on the outside. I don't think it looks good, so I wear them under my shirts to where they're hidden. So that means that when I have to go to potty and sit down, I have to take your shorts off, I have to take my spenders off to get that off. 

Well, I'm sitting in a bathroom in like Hollywood Studios, at Disney World, and of course my suspenders are like on the floor, like because I'm just laying them out. And this dad and this kid come into the stall next to me. I could hear him talking and all of a sudden I guess this kid was probably four, five, six I see this little hand come underneath the little wall there in the stall and grabs my suspenders and starts pulling on. Well, I am just flipping out. So I reach down on the other end of my suspenders. I'm pulling them back. Well, I guess it turns into its own. Well, stupid me, I'm 56 and work out the gym, so I'm pretty strong here. I've got this six year old toddler and I pull it and all of a sudden his whole arms. 

0:04:42 - Kayla

Okay, for all the littles, a six-year-old is not a toddler. I just need to clarify that. Toddlers are two. 

0:04:52 - Brian

So, for all the six-year-olds, I've got you. Oh, for all the six-year-old listeners, we didn't mean to offend you, okay. So anyway, I pull it back. Well, there's this whole arm in my stall now. So now I'm wigging like I don't need to pull this kid in my under the bathroom. 

And so now the dad is involved, he's like, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go. I mean he's getting really poor, dad, oh. And so finally, you know, this kid lets go, and I get my suspenders and I tuck them in to where nobody else can get a hold of him, hopefully. And then I hear that dad and that kid leave and he's like get your little tail out of here. Right now I'll kill you. 

0:05:30 - Kayla

So I was, that was, I was so nervous, like I did and I was, because you were gone for a really long time and I'm like, okay, this is not normal, so there you go again. What did I say before we left? You are a magnet for crazy. And here we are. Thank you, don invite it, it found you. 

0:05:55 - Brian

Looking at the calendar, how far are we into the year? 

0:05:58 - Kayla

This is crazy. We are nearly halfway through 2024. That's unbelievable Flying yeah. 

0:06:07 - Brian

Just flying. 

0:06:08 - Kayla

What lessons are we carrying into the second half of the year? 

0:06:13 - Brian

Well, I'll start this off and say this I'm going to own who I am. I'm going to own that I'm healing. I've had multiple, multiple people come up to me, friends, and say B you are healing. Yeah, said, you are a healthier version of yourself. So I don't want to stop working on me. I want to keep working on me. I want to continue to be, but it doesn't mean I'll ever be perfect, and I have this tremendous pressure on myself to be perfect and not drive people up a wall. But I've got to give myself space. 

0:06:46 - Kayla

Which is a segue into. One of the things that I'm really learning this year is progress over perfection. I'm realizing that I can be bad at things, and it's OK, because I'm trying and I'm also realizing I may not be where I want to be. There are some very specific goals I set for myself this year and I'm not there yet. But I'm doing the work, and very few, if any, successes happen overnight. It's always a work in progress. 

0:07:21 - Brian

And I'll build on that by saying that for me, there's still work to be done. In other words, there's weight that needs to be lost by me. I think I gained a couple of pounds at Disney I don't know how. I did not eat a lot of desserts. 

0:07:37 - Kayla

I'd say it's fluid retention. It was 100 degrees. 

0:07:43 - Brian

I wish I could pee off 100 pounds in. Okay, there's habits I need to break. I don't need to assume that every time somebody's in a bad mood it's about me and quit asking people so much, are you okay? I don't know if that drives people up a wall, but there's just things. There's still work to be done. I'm nervous of ever thinking that I've arrived, so I need to just own that. 

0:08:08 - Kayla

This one's hard to admit, but I'm going to because hopefully it will help someone else. I am not responsible for how other people act and I need to unpack that. I am accountable for how I act and react towards others. And here's the truth, mom. Sometimes perfectionism masks itself in criticisms. I read that a few weeks back and I have been sitting with that truth, so I'm going to say that again. Sometimes perfectionism masks itself in criticisms. I internalize that other people's behavior could be my responsibility or it reflects poorly on me, and that's the part that I'm working on. The critic comes out when their actions don't align with what I feel is best, and I'm working really hard to let other people be other people and that I don't have to own it and I don't have to explain it. I can just be who I am. 

0:09:18 - Brian

And for you that's a big deal. 

0:09:20 - Kayla

Oh yeah, because I always fear that people are judging me for someone else's behavior. 

0:09:27 - Brian

See, we're kind of opposites in that. 

0:09:30 - Kayla

Yeah. 

0:09:30 - Brian

But I'm proud of you for seeing that though. 

0:09:33 - Kayla

Again, it's a work in progress, but I'm finding myself being a whole lot less critical because I realize my criticism is tied to my own perception. 

0:09:45 - Brian

For me, it's okay to be different, and sometimes I will withdraw from a group. 

0:09:51 - Kayla

And this is part of your healing, and I am so here for it. 

0:09:57 - Brian

I like to read, I like Star Wars, I like Disney. I don't like working on cars. I don't like going to certain sporting events. 

0:10:09 - Kayla

Yeah, and it's okay. 

0:10:10 - Brian

And that's okay. It doesn't make me less of a person. It doesn't make me less of a man. Yeah, it just says that I enjoy these things more. But I will retreat in certain groups because I feel like I'm less than that. I'm not part of that because I don't enjoy NASCAR. I don't get it. You're just going in a circle over and over again. I don't understand it. And so when I get in certain groups of people, I will usually just withdraw and go the corner because I feel different. But I need to accept that. It's okay if these people like one thing and I like something else. Now I may need to go find some people to talk to, but there you go. 

0:11:00 - Kayla

A big goal of mine this year has been be someone who leaves people better than I found them, I think. For some reason, this year more than any other, I have seen that there are so many people who are carrying some really heavy stuff I mean hard things and they may choose to keep that private. So as we encounter people in our day-to-day, maybe they hit us wrong with their attitude or the way they're carrying themselves. We may not know what they are carrying. And the reminder for me in a thousand ways this year has been it takes so little effort to be genuinely kind and grateful and present and patient with other people, because really isn't that what I want? 

0:11:57 - Brian

For me, another big goal is to pursue Jesus faithfully and to know him and not just know about him. What I'm learning it's taken me years to learn this and I still got a long way to go is not to pursue a feeling. We think sometimes that when we chase after Jesus, it's going to produce a certain feeling, and it doesn't when you follow after him. 

0:12:24 - Kayla

Yeah. 

0:12:25 - Brian

You're not pursuing a feeling, you're pursuing a relationship with him, and so every day I will do some devos and I will pray, and I'm OK if there's not a certain feeling, because I have to remember the truth that he's still God, even if I don't feel him, that he's still faithful in reading and praying, meditating and just trying to live out. 

0:13:06 - Kayla

Well, what was that? There was a quote I read one time even the teacher is silent during the test. 

0:13:13 - Brian

Well, I ain't ready for a test, so let's not invite that. But yes, so that's who he is. I like that. Yes, so that's who he is. 

0:13:20 - Kayla

Speaking of silence, I've grown very comfortable with silence, and that's odd as I'm sitting here doing a podcast. But what I mean by that is not everyone has a right to know all things about your life things about your life. We owe ourselves the right to keep certain aspects of our lives private and not feel the need to explain everything to others. Here's another truth bomb. 

Some part of me feels like I'm being rude or unkind if I don't present myself as an open book. And yet there are those who need to know details, and they probably shouldn't, because you have to decide for yourself who your circle is, who your safe people are, and then everyone else just gets to be on the fringe. And that doesn't mean you don't care about them, but what it does mean is you care about protecting yourself, mean, is you care about protecting yourself? And there has been this comfortable silence within me this year that there are some things in our lives even that have transpired in the last 12 to 15 months. I'm not going to defend us, I'm not going to explain it. I'm okay with those who know no, and those who don't won't, and so it's just. It's part of my growth journey. We have a bonus one. 

0:14:48 - Brian

Okay. 

0:14:48 - Kayla

This one we have both been reminded of in the last six months. 

0:14:55 - Brian

I think grief is a marathon. Yeah, it's not a sprint. Yeah, yeah, grief is a journey. It's a long journey that you're on and it will reveal itself at various times. I remember we were at Disney World during Father's Day and there were moments I just wanted to cry because you see, you look around, you see all these dads walking around with their kids and I'm like, you know, I wish dad was here, I could call him or something, that kind of stuff. And then sometimes you grieve what you don't have and we're not going to get into that, but like because we were never able to have children, I was grieving watching that. 

0:15:36 - Kayla

And so. And yet that afternoon God gave us the sweetest moment. 

0:15:42 - Brian

Oh, that little girl. 

0:15:44 - Kayla

There was a little girl. We were in the Frozen Ever After sing-along and watching her when Elsa came on stage. She was, it was magic it was absolute magic seeing the look on her face and the way she we both cried. 

We did cry because it was just, it was literally seeing Disney through the eyes of a child and I know God gave us that on Father's Day. It was not lost on me and it was absolutely beautiful. But yeah, grief is. It's not linear. It has its ups and downs. It has its days where it will just absolutely blindside you and yet what we are learning is to be kind to ourselves and to others on those days when we realize that we're dealing with grief. 

0:16:30 - Brian

Yeah, I don't think you ever get over grief. I just think that you build a new life around it. You do. 

0:16:35 - Kayla

That's what happens. 

0:16:36 - Brian

Yeah. 

0:16:37 - Kayla

So yeah. 

0:16:37 - Brian

Those are the things that we're trying to continue to learn halfway through the year. 

0:16:42 - Kayla

Yeah, so let's talk about Florida. It was hot, we've said that already. 

0:16:51 - Brian

Okay. 

0:16:51 - Kayla

But there are some questions that we get from time to time. Why do we continue to go to Disney when we could go see the world? We could spoiler. We were going to Italy this summer and then we saw the events that were taking place in the world. We thought about the time of year that we were looking to travel and we both agreed unanimously let's just go back to Disney. Why Disney? Well, for us it's the ease of travel. 

0:17:21 - Brian

We get to hop on a plane when you get to the Orlando airport. There's a bus that takes you from the airport right to the doors of your resort. It's all inclusive. There are restaurants everywhere, there are attractions, there are shows, there are rides, there are various foods. You can experience various. 

0:17:41 - Kayla

We can take a, we can take a boat or we can walk to two of our resorts. There's just, I mean there's, or parks, I should say. 

0:17:50 - Brian

People say don't you get tired of experiencing the same thing over and over again? No, because there's always something a little bit different that's happening there. Yeah, and you get to see the magic. You get to see everything there. So why do we love Disney? Well, first of all, you love which park. 

0:18:07 - Kayla

I love Epcot. 

0:18:08 - Brian

Yes. 

0:18:09 - Kayla

It has rides, it has World Showcase. It's walking distance from our resort you love. 

0:18:16 - Brian

Hollywood Studios. 

0:18:18 - Kayla

Because it's all things star wars yes, and actually we have.

0:18:23 - Brian

There's like a little boat you can catch from our resort. Yeah, that'll take us right to the gate we're there in 10 minutes. Yeah, yeah and it's crazy. So unpopular opinion we don't love magic kingdom and we also don't really. 

0:18:38 - Kayla

We love Animal Kingdom in the fall when it's not as hot, but we actually skipped Animal Kingdom this time because it was just too hot. 

0:18:47 - Brian

Too hot and also you will walk more at Animal Kingdom than any other park. Yeah, there's basically two things that we enjoy to do at Animal Kingdom. That's the safari. And there's a little show the Lion King show that we go to. Those are basically the two things that we enjoy to do at Animal Kingdom. That's the safari and there's a little show the Lion King show that we go to. Those are basically the two things. 

0:19:02 - Kayla

And we do like going through the like. There's the whole area where the monkeys and all that are, but yeah, and I enjoy that. 

0:19:12 - Brian

Admittedly, you can hear me cough in the background. I'm actually cutting down the microphone, so just realize. So everybody listening. A little side note there, just a little side note I am cutting down the microphone, but we do have drainage. 

0:19:22 - Kayla

So, admittedly, we will resume March and Thanksgiving or Christmas trips because summers in Florida are a thing we learned. Summer is the off season. That was an enlightening because it's so hot and because it's outside of the window of like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. And it's humid, so if you're looking to deal with less crowds and the heat does not phase you, then go in the summer. 

0:19:52 - Brian

Because we were able to flex so much, so much stuff. 

0:19:55 - Kayla

I mean, there were days we decided, okay, we want to change to this restaurant or we want to hop on this ride, and we were able to do that. We won't be able to do that at Christmas, and we know that, and that's okay, we'll just. You either have to plan and work your plan or, if you go in the summer, you can definitely be a little more flexible. 

0:20:24 - Brian

We also have one of my very best friends lives down there. His name is Stan. 

0:20:27 - Kayla

We do and we spent five days with him for five days, and got to see Stan Jose and Eric and spend some time and that was fun you love also. 

I just love all things Florida the palm trees, the water, the people because in each park there are people from different countries and so you're getting to visit with these people and you get to hear their story. I mean, we got to talk with several cast members this time and ask them what are you enjoying about America and what are you looking forward to? And what's funny is half of them were looking forward to going to Vegas. But here we are, so it was very strange. 

It's like it's one of them told us it's the go-to place for Florida right now. 

0:21:07 - Brian

So it must be a cheap flight. 

0:21:09 - Kayla

I guess. So there were a couple of things that I mean. Yes, it was amazing. We will share a couple of more epic moments and then we'll just share some hard truths. There was a day that was very, very sweet for me and I have been married to you for nearly 31 years and Stan has been a dear friend of ours for 31 years. I did not know you were terrified of heights, both of you and there's a ride called Soarin' where you are literally strapped in with basically like a car seat belt. 

0:21:44 - Brian

And it raises you up off the ground. 

0:21:46 - Kayla

You go off the ground, you're dangling by your feet. 

0:21:48 - Brian

See, now, that's what bothers me. 

0:21:50 - Kayla

And then you're in this immersive experience where you're kind of dipping and swaying. 

0:21:54 - Brian

And it takes you up over the Eiffel Tower. You go over the Eiffel Tower. 

0:21:56 - Kayla

You come down into this pasture where there's like a stampede coming at you, but you smell the grass, you smell the dirt, you go over the Taj Mahal and you smell like flowers. 

0:22:09 - Brian

I will do anything for my bride. 

0:22:11 - Kayla

Both of you did the entire ride with your eyes closed. 

0:22:16 - Brian

Yes, and I was gripping so hard. When I came off, I actually had bruises in my hand. 

0:22:20 - Kayla

You did, and then you noticed and I felt terrible and you noticed that I was walking. You were both shaking. 

0:22:26 - Brian

Yeah. 

0:22:26 - Kayla

And I just could not get over. I looked at both of you and said why did you do this? And your response was because you like it. That's exactly right, and it really touched me, but we did not do it again. So, there was an evening you had booked something special for me it was our last evening of vacation. 

0:22:46 - Brian

Dinner at Epcot at a British restaurant called the Rose and Crown. Yeah, it's the dinner and fireworks package, and we are so close to the fireworks, the ash was coming back on our table fell down on us but you smiled like a little girl for an hour and a half. 

0:23:05 - Kayla

You loved everything about it I did yeah, because it's at a pub, just yeah you're outside and it's wonderful so the rooms at Disney. We have a pro tip for you when you are still your air conditioning, or if you're in the winter, your heat will turn off because it's motion centered. Yes, the thermostat so what is the trick that someone taught you? Buy a balloon and tape it, just sit it in front of your. 

0:23:35 - Brian

Yeah, tape it to the wall and put it in front of your. Yeah, tape it to the wall and put it in front of the of the motion sensor so that that balloon will move during the night. Yeah, and it will keep the air conditioner running. And so we didn't know that, and or I forgot about it and I woke up two or three times a couple of times yeah, it's ridiculous you have one main complaint against Disney. 

As much as you pay, as much as you pay Y'all could do a little bit better than this. 

0:24:10 - Kayla

One ply see-through toilet paper y'all got going on at Disney. 

0:24:11 - Brian

They are kind of lacking in that department it is John Wayne. You don't take crap off nobody. Okay, it is. I didn't expect to hear that. I mean you need a expect to hear that. I mean you need a powder puff after about day four. 

0:24:23 - Kayla

Okay, Lord forgive me. We were in line waiting for a ride and there was a family in front of us, and there was a family in front of them. Well, the family in front of them. 

She felt the need to insert her opinion unwarranted to the family behind her and telling her well, you must do this and you must do that and book this book that plan your day like this. Listen, you must do that and book this book that plan your day like this. And there was a moment where she finally turned around facing her own family again and the family looked back at us like help and I whispered it's your trip. 

0:25:02 - Brian

Do whatever you want to do. Do whatever you want to do. 

0:25:05 - Kayla

Nobody else gets to decide for you what your vacation should look like, and you and I both the ease with which we travel together. I just love it. Because I'll say this if you want to grasp your own selfishness, go into any vacation or trip with your own itinerary that is so like locked down and fixed, and refuse to flex for anyone else. 

0:25:34 - Brian

It'll get blown up. 

0:25:35 - Kayla

It will absolutely ruin your trip. Yeah and so. Yeah, those are just our takeaways. We cannot wait for our next trip at the end of the year. We're kind of grieving being home, but it's OK. We have a lot of life to live between now and December. Would you like to admit what you did this morning. You actually what? 

0:25:57 - Brian

Well checked on flight so we could fly down there over July 4th. We got a few days off and I said no because it's hot. 

0:26:04 - Kayla

I reminded you of how hot it is. We'll be back in December. Very sad, reminded you of how hot it is. So, yeah, we'll be back in December. Okay, but very sad. So we have a question for you. Um, for the first few people that go to our website and answer this question correctly, there's a whole slew of stuff coming your way you're gonna win some stickers, a notepad, a peas and carrots pen and a peas and carrots mug. 

0:26:26 - Brian

so you get peas and carrots stickers, peas and carrots pen and a peas and carrots mug. So you get peas and carrots stickers, peas and carrots notepad, a pen and a peas and carrots mug Y'all I thought the stickers were cute. 

0:26:35 - Kayla

The notepad has become my bestie. It's a what do you call it? Peel and stick sheet, Post-it note, Post-it note pad, and it's got like you can well, you know what I'm talking about Peel and stick, Well you know what I'm talking about. Peel and stick. 

0:26:49 - Brian

Listen, I'm a little, my brain's still hot, so anyway, you can win all that stuff when you answer this question. 

0:26:55 - Kayla

What is one travel tip that you would share? Okay, so how do you win that? Go to our website. Go ahead, click the trivia button and what's our website? 

0:27:08 - Brian

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. That's peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you just click that little trivia button and answer this question. 

0:27:17 - Kayla

What is one travel tip you would? 

0:27:20 - Brian

share. Hey, thanks for listening to this week's edition of the Peas and Carrots Podcast and hey, you can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcast or you visit our website. 

0:27:30 - Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

0:27:35 - Brian

Also, if you could follow us on Facebook and Instagram and you could help us tell a few friends, we'd appreciate that. All you got to do is just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I want to go back to Disney.

0:27:44 - Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That's the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.