Season 3, Episode 23: May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves!

The story of Peas & Carrots, for those who are new to our vegetable patch. 

Transcript

0:00:00 - Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

0:00:11 - Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I'm Brian, I'm Kayla, and Welcome to our little piece of the vegetable patch. I guess that's how you say, it isn't it? That is us, that's us, mm-hmm. So what's up in our world?

0:00:25 - Kayla

 July is busy. 

0:00:29 - Brian

Well, we got a church picnic. I'm cooking there, by the way. We got summer camp, which is a work event. We have a trip for that. 

0:00:39 - Kayla

Yeah, that'll be a week. We've got various Bible studies we're going to be part of. We have a ball game that we're going to with our church family baseball. 

0:00:49 - Brian

We have other work trips. Let's pause here. 

0:00:52 - Kayla

Miss Kayla doesn't go to the ball game for the ball game now I do watch the game, but yes, I'm all about the snacks. I ain't going to apologize. Cotton candy, maybe a little. 

0:01:06 - Brian

Nachos. 

0:01:07 - Kayla

Nachos and cheese. 

0:01:09 - Brian

Peanuts. 

0:01:10 - Kayla

No, I don't do peanuts anymore because of your allergy. 

0:01:12 - Brian

Oh, I appreciate it. We all thank you. I thank you for that. You're welcome. I don't want to die If I ever get peanuts, it's. 

0:01:18 - Kayla

you know I'm trying to bump you off, so so so if the hot dogs look good, I might have to. No, I'll be. I'll be better than I am usually, because you know whole healthy lifestyle thing we're doing caramel, if they have caramel corn oh, forget it, it's on you love caramel. I do don't say yeah, okay, yeah, it's a really fun, but busy month. 

0:01:42 - Brian

we have a lot of stuff going on, so does anybody find yourself? 

0:01:50 - Kayla

staying up a little bit later. I struggle with this because it's summer and so it doesn't get dark till what? 9:15? But there's a spoiler what time do I? 

0:02:02 - Brian

like to go to bed 8.30 to 9. Yeah, but then we'll lay there sharing reels till 10.30. Am I wrong or wrong. 

0:02:10 - Kayla

No, not usually that late. If we've got to be up at 5 the next morning, some nights we will share reels with each other for about 30 minutes. But yeah, You're the worst. I wake up every morning to like 10 reels from you. 

0:02:26 - Brian

Well, I try to let you go to sleep. Thank you, you do so. Yeah, I have that CPAP. 

0:02:30 - Kayla

So, B, we're going to tell on ourselves. There was a night last week that we did stay up later than we should have, and it kind of got us in trouble with Chick-fil-A. What did we do? 

0:02:41 - Brian

We told each other OK, we're going to sneak over there, we're going to get it's five minutes from our house. We're going to sneak over there, we're going to get us an ice cream cone and we'll get back home. This was the night of the debate and we said you know what, we'll be back in time to watch the debate. And we both said we're not going to tell anybody about this, it's going to be our little secret, because we turned over a new leaf, you know we've been doing really well. 

0:03:08 - Kayla

We just decided we were going to splurge, but we didn't want to have to fess up to this. But God checked us, as he always does. 

0:03:14 - Brian

Chick-fil-A drive-thru paid for it and we get up to where you collect your food, and so I hear Mr. Sanders turned, and it's one of the youth from our church. 

0:03:27 - Kayla

Of course it is. 

0:03:28 - Brian

And so. 

0:03:32 - Kayla

He hands us our ice cream. 

0:03:32 - Brian

So we're busted, just busted, so we couldn't get away with that one, but the ice cream was really good. And it's allergen free for me. Yeah, so I try to avoid there, but that night it was. 

0:03:46 - Kayla

Now I want ice cream. 

0:03:47 - Brian

Well, anything my darling wants, my darling gets. 

0:03:54 - Kayla

May we reintroduce ourselves. 

0:03:56 - Brian

Yes, we have a lot of new listeners to the podcast. We do so. I'm Brian, I'm Kayla, we've been married going on. 

0:04:05 - Kayla

It will be 31 years in August. Yeah. 

0:04:08 - Brian

We're both believers in Jesus. We are conservative Presbyterians. I'd like to say that we both work in ministry. 

0:04:18 - Kayla

We do. We work with Positive Alternative Radio and it has five sister stations and we do also have an app that people can listen to, but we are located in Blacksburg. We have stations in Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, Virginia, but we are here. The hub is here in Blacksburg, Virginia, which is where our offices are. Hub is here in Blacksburg, Virginia, which is where our offices are. You are our executive vice president, I am our vice president for partner service. Yeah, for donor care. So how did we meet? 

0:04:56 - Brian

Oh gosh, I was serving at the Christian radio station in New Orleans, WBSN Life Songs, and our office manager went on maternity leave, and so you came in for the summer. I did, and took her role for the summer. 

0:05:14 - Kayla

And my parents purchased your boss's trailer on campus. 

0:05:19 - Brian

So, and I remember walking in and I saw you the first time and I skipped, I didn't even say hi to you, I just walked right past you Not even a. 

0:05:28 - Kayla

who are you? 

0:05:29 - Brian

Nope, I walked right past. You went back to my friend's office, Stan, and I told him I have to kiss that girl or I will die. I found you were just that beautiful, and still are. 

0:05:43 - Kayla

No. 

0:05:45 - Brian

So that's how we met. 

0:05:46 - Kayla

We spent the whole summer getting to know each other. You were a very curious person. 

0:05:50 - Brian

And you flirted, I did flirt with you. All throughout the summer. Yes, asked her out various times, three times. What did you tell me each time? 

0:05:57 - Kayla

No, because my grandma said do not date your boss. 

0:06:02 - Brian

But you flirted with me the whole time. Do not date your boss, but you flirted with me the whole time. 

0:06:06 - Kayla

I did, but it was a great summer, and then we did end up having our first date after I went back to college. You know, each couple has to decide this for themselves. We met in June, we started dating in September, we got engaged in December and we have been together for, like we said, nearly 31 years. 

0:06:26 - Brian

Got married in August. 

0:06:28 - Kayla

We have spent. 11 of those years we lived in New Orleans, Louisiana, and the last 20 years we have been here in Virginia. 

0:06:38 - Brian

We were never able to have children, no, but we did have— A very, very, very spooled dog we did. His name was Sprocket. We had him. For what? Very, very spool dog? We did, his name was Sprocket. 

0:06:46 - Kayla

We had him for what? 14 and a half years we did at 13. 

0:06:51 - Brian

And 13, 14, I don't know. He was with us a long time and it wasn't long enough, but he was the world's greatest pup. 

0:06:59 - Kayla

He really was. He had the quirkiest personality. 

0:07:03 - Brian

Love him, yeah Still do so, Miss Sanders, how would you describe me? 

0:07:10 - Kayla

How would I describe me? You have a heart the size of Texas. Your love for the Lord is undeniable. Anyone who meets you knows that you have a passion for exploring and understanding Scripture and getting to know God more deeply. You are all in. You're all in on friendships. You're all in on your work. You live out loud. You love life. You are exuberant, you are charming, you are generous. You're one of the most hilarious people I've ever had the privilege of doing life with. Um. You're a magnet for crazy. True, we share stories on here all the time of strange things that happen. It just seems to find you. I just show up. You are an incredible storyteller and you make others feel at ease. I find it amazing the way when we are with new people, you help them to feel instantly comfortable. You also have never left me wondering if I am cherished by you. Since day one, I have known where I stand with B. 

0:08:31 - Brian

How would I describe you? Beautiful? You're more beautiful today than you were the day I married you. 

0:08:38 - Kayla

Whatever, I'm not even sure I come out of my hair today. 

0:08:41 - Brian

See, I didn't say a word the whole time she said all of it. I didn't say a word. 

0:08:46 - Kayla

Even though I disagree with most of it. 

0:08:50 - Brian

You are more beautiful today than the day that I married you. You are kind, you are patient, you are full of grace, you are stately, you are proper. 

0:09:03 - Kayla

I'm British. 

0:09:05 - Brian

She's British. 

0:09:05 - Kayla

We have to be proper. 

0:09:07 - Brian

She is, she's proper. You love Jesus, your faith. I'm jealous of your faith because you just believing and you just trusting and I can't do that. You are a planner. You like for things A, b, c, d, e, f, g. You like that. I'm like, well, we'll go to A, then we'll bop over to Z, then we'll come back to D. No, I mean so, but you're a planner and I love that. You make me a better man and you make me want to know Jesus more, want to know Jesus more. You create a beautiful home where we are comfortable or things are at ease. When you enter a room, peace enters the room. So I thank God every day that he brought you into my life. 

0:09:58 - Kayla

No, what would you say? 

0:10:00 - Brian

Stop right there. Do you believe any of what I just said? 

0:10:03 - Kayla

Me I told you. What are the golden rules of our marriage? 

0:10:10 - Brian

Well. 

0:10:11 - Kayla

We have a few. We have a few things that these are the things that are sacred to us. 

0:10:15 - Brian

We strive daily to make Jesus the center of our relationship. We do devos, we usually discuss the devos with each other, and we try to live that out. When I say making Jesus the center of our relationship, what I mean by that? Well, I'll say the first one we try to die to ourselves daily. In other words, I want to make much of you and I see you trying to make much of me. So it's a little bit of a contest some days to see who can make the most of each other. 

0:10:48 - Kayla

But if you are always about what you can get out of a relationship, it's going to be very contentious and it's going to be a harder road because you're going to live in a place where you're constantly disappointed. If it's all about taking rather than giving We've said this we acknowledge what makes the other person feel cherished. Early in our marriage, we had the privilege of going to a conference that was put on by Gary Smalley. 

0:11:19 - Brian

We had lunch with him that day we did. 

0:11:21 - Kayla

It was the five love languages, and we learned that your love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, mine are acts of service and quality time, and we kind of blend on that one. The more we've been together, you're more about quality time as well. 

0:11:42 - Brian

I like being with you. 

0:11:43 - Kayla

So it's important to us that we acknowledge those in each other Y'all. If he wants to make me feel adored, take the trash out. That's all I need, and you do it all the time, so yeah. 

0:11:55 - Brian

Now the difference is I think you can put more in it than she does. Let's just say that. We'll leave that there um okay, um, sorry, we communicate and we talk a lot, yeah, so we talk in the morning, we talk during the day, we talk at night, we talk when we go to bed. We talk about everything now I will say there are. There are no secrets no, there are no secrets here. We just try to put everything on the table. Now I'll say this she is more of the talker than I am. 

0:12:28 - Kayla

I'm a verbal processor, I'm not. Yeah, and you're very good at enduring that, because I know there are times when I don't endure that. 

Well, there are times when I really need to sit with something and I need to talk it through, and you are incredibly patient with that. I can tell when there is something bothering you. Sometimes I have to give you time before I smoke it out. You need to sit with things. I can tell when it's time to say, okay, spill it. But the thing that makes me concerned for marriages is when people say, well, we're too busy to communicate. 

0:13:02 - Brian

You're not. That's a danger sign. 

0:13:04 - Kayla

That's a danger sign. That's a red flag. Never stop dating. 

0:13:11 - Brian

We just had a lunch date yeah, we just went down to a little place and had shrimp tacos. 

0:13:14 - Kayla

They were amazing. Yeah, they were great. You have to make time for each other. 

0:13:18 - Brian

And we talked there. We were talking about our next vacation, we were talking about what I did this morning and some of the plans that I'm trying to get through that kind of stuff. So we do that. Let me go back to the whole thing about communication. My brain works that like. I will think something through and then I'm done with it and I'll put it aside. What I've had to learn is I need to keep some kind of a checklist in my head that when we talk, I can share all that stuff with you. 

0:13:48 - Kayla

Yeah. 

0:13:48 - Brian

Because we process stuff differently. Like you said, you're a verbal processor. Yeah, I'm not. 

0:13:55 - Kayla

You've already worked it out and moved on. 

0:13:56 - Brian

I've already worked it out and moved on. 

0:13:57 - Kayla

Yeah, but you realize I may need to know that piece of the puzzle Correct so that I have a glimpse into your life. Yes, this one is a big deal. Protect each other and what you have, and I want to explain this just a little bit. There's several ways to do this. I am always going to be B's biggest cheerleader. I'm going to be the one that speaks positively of him to others and I'm encouraging him and cheering him. On. Another way that this kind of falls out we practice firm boundaries with others and that looks like we do not have friendships. I don't have friendships with guys. You don't have friendships with females. 

0:14:44 - Brian

Some people say that's old school. I just find that it protects the marriage and it protects purity. 

0:14:49 - Kayla

Now we will have friendships together that are other couple.

0:14:53 - Brian

Yeah, we'll go out as a couple. 

0:14:55 - Kayla

We don't make a habit of you texting other women. Now let me clarify this because you do have to in your work. But if it's a side relationship and someone is texting you, I'll actually show you the text I'm going to get copied in on the response. 

0:15:11 - Brian

I'll usually loop you in on that text thread, that kind of stuff. 

0:15:14 - Kayla

But we've had situations where people have asked things as simple as could you give me a ride to the airport? 

0:15:20 - Brian

No, no, sorry, I can't, I'm not doing that. No, no, Sorry, I can't, I'm not doing that. 

0:15:23 - Kayla

You know, we just be careful what limits you don't put on your relationship that leave you kind of open and exposed to any potential. So yeah, that's us. We're not saying these are the rules that have to work for every marriage, but this is how we have been able to thrive. 

0:15:46 - Brian

And that's what I want to say. I've never gotten bored with you. I still find you interesting. I still find how you respond to things fascinating. 

0:15:56 - Kayla

You still surprise me. I'm still learning things about you. I mean, at Disney, I just learned that you're scared of heights. I never knew that. I mean we Disney, I just learned that you're scared of heights. I never knew that. I mean we've been together, for we've known each other for 32 years.

0:16:09 - Brian

I'm not necessarily scared of heights. I'm scared on a certain ride that makes you feel like you're 80,000 feet in the air. Now, if I was sitting on the ground I'd be fine with that, but this ride it actually elevates you off the ground and it tilts you. I can't handle that. Okay, I can't. I can't handle. But see, I'm fine in an airplane. For some reason my mind says my feet are on the ground, it's on the plane, but there you go. 

0:16:37 - Kayla

Yeah, I'm not agreeing with you on that one. 

0:16:38 - Brian

I wish that they'd give us each like a little bouncy suit, like on the plane. Oh, my gosh so you'd hit and it'd blow up and it'd bounce off Well after the plane rides I've heard about this week we might need one. 

0:16:47 - Kayla

There you go. I will say this the beauty of 31-ish years, and we'll spend a future podcast on this. 

0:16:54 - Brian

there is a comfortable silence at times we talked about this the other night how we seem to hit a good rhythm. 

0:17:02 - Kayla

Yeah. 

0:17:03 - Brian

That we do the day to day. 

0:17:04 - Kayla

Well, we talk and and it's not always about the big showy moment. Sometimes it's about the simplicity of life. Yeah, so yeah, we'll come back to that. 

0:17:17 - Brian

I love this little game and you always. I never get to choose, you always get to choose. 

0:17:23 - Kayla

So the next time we play, no, I will let you choose. 

0:17:26 - Brian

My feelings are choose. 

0:17:27 - Kayla

You always get to choose, so the next time we play, I will let you choose my feelings are hurt, you'll recover. You have a million times. 

0:17:32 - Brian

The compassion is deep, all right. 

0:17:35 - Kayla

This or that. 

0:17:35 - Brian

Okay, what's the first one, ocean or swimming pool? 

0:17:39 - Kayla

I am swimming pool all the way. 

0:17:44 - Brian

I need to be able to see what's underneath my feet. I will. Usually I'll do neither because I'm just not comfortable, but if we're at the ocean I'll swim out midway so I can pee. Wow, like I can stand up to my waist. So I mean, nobody knows it's the ocean. Oh my gosh, them fish pee in there. 

0:18:00 - Kayla

Will you do that this summer, knowing that one Like straight over there was a shark attack? 

0:18:07 - Brian

this summer. 

0:18:08 - Kayla

Will you really? 

0:18:10 - Brian

How big's he got to be to take a bite out of me? Look at me, we're talking jaws Quit. 

0:18:18 - Kayla

So snacks, Sweet or salty. 

0:18:23 - Brian

I can't do sweet so I'm going to have to go with salty. But I've been doing like like carrots and little cherry tomatoes and broccoli and cheese, so I don't think that's really salty either you oh, I'm sweet all the way brownies, cookies chocolate, all right. 

0:18:42 - Kayla

No, you really haven't regained your stuff, really not every once in a while I have a taste for dark chocolate. 

0:18:48 - Brian

Now give this woman a good gummy bear. 

0:18:51 - Kayla

Oh, a really good gummy bear, and, yeah, I'm taking it down.

0:18:53 - Brian

Yeah, she loves a good gummy bear, introvert or extrovert. 

0:18:58 - Kayla

I am an introvert all the way. 

0:19:07 - Brian

I am what's called an ambivert I can be around people, yeah.

0:19:09 - Kayla

I love being around people, but after two or three hours you need to recharge. I need to go, get in a corner somewhere, recharge, yeah, and I'll be fine but when we are in social settings, you are energized, whereas I am just dying on the vine. I just it's like somebody take me out. 

0:19:26 - Brian

Yeah who are all these people and why will they not go home? And then I'm going to be awkward. 

0:19:34 - Kayla

I mean just last night, no, I am Be. Just last night at Bible study I realized Kay, just listen, don't try to say anything because you're going to step off in it. I just do all the time. It's who I am, you're not awkward Spender or saver. 

0:19:53 - Brian

I'd say we're both savers. We are, but if I'm going to buy something, it's usually your toys are expensive. Yeah, like right now I'm looking at a new backpack that has that's like you just bought one. Can I explain what I'm looking at? It's the Star Wars Empire. 

0:20:14 - Kayla

Oh God help me. 

0:20:16 - Brian

OK. 

0:20:16 - Kayla

OK, ok, drive or fly. 

0:20:22 - Brian

Based on that reaction, you know, I guess I'm probably not coming to my house. Go ahead, We'll pray about it. You see that guess I'm probably not coming to my house. Go ahead. 

0:20:31 - Kayla

We'll pray about it. You see, that's a no. What is it a good, What is it a good mom always says Maybe, so yeah, okay, back to the questions. Drive or fly. 

0:20:42 - Brian

I'll fly In a heartbeat, in a heartbeat, if it's seven hours or under. 

0:20:48 - Kayla

I'm all about driving. 

0:20:50 - Brian

If it was 45 minutes, I'd fly. I hate Really. I would I mean, if I could have a private helicopter. 

0:20:56 - Kayla

No see, that's on those little bitty planes. What? 

0:20:59 - Brian

if you had a private With like a two-seater? What if you had a private helicopter? No I don't think I'd be down in a heartbeat, summer or winter summer, all the way. I'm gonna do spring and fall, even though it's not a choice no, I'm gonna make you choose summer or winter probably summer. I can't endure the cold, the cold is just too much now but I do agree with you. 

0:21:23 - Kayla

I'm a huge fan of spring and fall, but summer I can find ways to to cool down. I just my teeth stay clenched in the winter because it's so cold. I can morning person or night out you can't take enough clothes off to get cool okay, I didn't see that coming oh, do what we should definitely move on Morning person or night owl. 

0:21:48 - Brian

Morning. You used to be a night owl. 

0:21:51 - Kayla

I used to be a night owl. 

0:21:54 - Brian

I think since joining the gym, the gym's kicked you high. 

0:21:57 - Kayla

It's kicked my tail into being, I will say this there is something amazing about the peace of the early morning. I totally grasp. Now new morning mercies, because watching the sun come up, watching a day restart, it's quiet, it's peaceful, until someone starts telling Lincoln stories. You've gotten better. 

0:22:21 - Brian

If you're new to the podcast, I love Abraham Lincoln. He's a hero. I wrote a book Leadership Endurance. About a third of it is about Abraham Lincoln. You can find it on Amazon. 

0:22:31 - Kayla

And it's a great book and you have great stories. 

0:22:35 - Brian

But you just don't want to hear them at 5. 

0:22:36 - Kayla

I just don't want to hear them at 5 o'clock in the morning. Why that's a new morning mercy for you, because it's 5 o'clock in the morning. 

0:22:42 - Brian

All right Cake or pie Cake all the way. 

0:22:46 - Kayla

I can't do either, but if I could I'm going to choose, I would say this would be my guess, cake with a little bit of milk. 

0:22:55 - Brian

I'd put a piece of cake in the bowl and pour milk over it. Yep. So steak or shrimp, both you got to choose one. 

0:23:07 - Kayla

I'll choose steak. I'm going to oh, really, okay. Well, it depends on who's cooking the shrimp. 

0:23:16 - Brian

I don't want to die that's not on this piece of paper. Right here it says steak or shrimp you're a little sassy, aren't you? 

0:23:23 - Kayla

I saw that. Look, Disney or universal, there's no contest Disney, Disney, all the way universal. We have some friends who they prefer universal studios and they're. 

0:23:27 - Brian

I saw that Look Disney or Universal, there's no contest. 

0:23:29 - Kayla

Disney, Disney, all the way. Universal doesn't even we have some friends who they prefer Universal. 

0:23:32 - Brian

Studios and they're wrong. Oh snap, I mean they don't have. There's Mickey and Minnie and Donald and Daisy. Our preference is Disney World, if you're a Christian, you go Disney World. 

0:23:45 - Kayla

Okay, that escalated quickly, so there we go. That's this edition of this, or that. Do you have some others that you would like to add? 

0:23:55 - Brian

So which Disney park? Epcot all the way. Hollywood Studios. Yeah so what's that? Ice cream or yogurt? Oh, ice cream, yeah cream. Yeah that's up the Lord. Pork chop. Or ribs, oh, pork chop Really. You're not a rib fan are you? 

0:24:20 - Kayla

I'm not a huge rib fan. Again, it depends on who cooked them. 

0:24:24 - Brian

Here we go. It's all these little Y'all. It's the fine print in the contract that gets me. 

0:24:30 - Kayla

It has for 31 years. That's not. 

0:24:33 - Brian

There's no fine print. Hey, thanks for listening to this week's edition of the podcast, and we'd like to send you a peas and carrots mug, a peas and carrots pen, a notepad and some Some stickers. No, what do you call them? Cute little stickers, cute little stickers. 

0:24:49 - Kayla

No what do you call them Cute little stickers? I'm sorry, though. The notepad is really cute too. It has little checkboxes where you can make your list, and it's like a Post-it note. Each of the little sheets come off so they will stick to your refrigerator or wherever you need them to. Yeah, I'm in love. 

0:25:07 - Brian

I got tickled last week Adam Reed, who's my executive assistant and one of my best friends in the world, because whenever y'all win something, he sends it out. He says, B, can I have some of these notepads? 

0:25:19 - Kayla

You're the one that ships them. You don't have to ask. 

0:25:23 - Brian

Oh, so you've got a thousand of them in your garage. Take as many as you want. 

0:25:27 - Kayla

So if you would like to have your own cute little stickers and notepad, the first couple of people or more I mean, we've not really held to this, honestly but the first few people that go to our website answer the question correctly and you will win all of the above. Our website is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

0:25:47 - Brian

When you get there, you can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, click on the trivia button and this week's question. 

0:25:57 - Kayla

Are you a morning person or a night owl? All right. 

0:26:01 - Brian

So you're a morning person or night owl? Go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Answer that question. 

0:26:06 - Kayla

You can search the Peas and Carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again, that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

0:26:17 - Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots podcast. You know how the weatherman says there's like a 60% chance of rain or a 40% chance of rain. 

0:26:28 - Kayla

Okay. 

0:26:29 - Brian

What's the percentage chance of getting a Chick-fil-A ice cream today? 

0:26:33 - Kayla

Oh, probably 100. Okay, all right. There you go.

0:26:35 - Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That's the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.