Men's Mental Health Month

Welcome back! In this episode, Sofia, Eryn, and Josh discuss the importance of mens mental health, the stigmatizations around it, and possible solutions to help promote mental health in general!

Transcript

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Hello, everybody, and welcome to the getting with the grove podcast. Where are you which Youth Ambassadors and we're going to be hosting this month's episode. So I'm Sophia. I'm Josh. And I'm Erin. Yay. Okay, so June is men's mental health month. So that's going to be the topic of today's episode. This is actually going to be our first time addressing men's mental health on the podcast. So before we get into this month's topic, we would like to acknowledge that June is also Pride Month and indigenous history month. As much as we would love to discuss all these topics on this episode, we felt that it wouldn't be fair to combine them all into one episode because these are all really important topics that shouldn't be rushed through. If you would like to learn more about either indigenous history month or Pride Month, we would strongly encourage you to check out the I Am I guide which provides to us LGBTQ plus resources specifically for you. Additionally, the Downey and when Jack fund offers lots of information and additional indigenous history learning tools, we'll link both of these resources in the description. With that being said, let's get started. Okay, so men's mental health month is a time dedicated to raising awareness about the mental health issues that men face and promoting the importance of mental well being among men. This month aims to break the stigma surrounding men's mental health, encouragement to seek help and highlight the unique challenges that men encounter in maintaining their mental health. Well, June has been declared men's mental health month, it is important that we commit to supporting the men in our lives, not just in June, but every day of the year. Statistics show us that time and time again, that men are significantly more reluctant than women to seek out help for mental health issues, which can contribute to some of the devastating mental health consequences we see from men. In Canada, three of every four suicides are male, one in 10 men will struggle with depression in his lifetime. Additionally, the rates of substance use disorder are higher than in males. 6.4% of men report symptoms of substance use disorder compared to 2.5% of women. Wow. So yeah, those are all very alarming statistics. And it raised the question for me of Why are men not seeking out mental health supports? Additionally, do we think that the reason men are facing more devastating consequences of poor mental health is because they're not getting the support they need? So yeah, I want to throw this question out to the group. What are your thoughts? So I would say that, society definitely tells us that you can't share your emotions towards men. And I think, like, I'm obviously a female, I identify as female. And I think that especially growing up, male men have been, in a way pushed to like, not show their emotions. And I feel like you don't see, you know, for example, for women, I do feel like we can be emotional, right? Like we can we cry, and it's definitely a known thing. But you don't see a lot of men crying, and it's just not like normalized. And if they are upset or or are struggling with mental health that's behind closed doors, they don't necessarily have the same personal support systems that women do when they can be vulnerable. I think that men have the access to mental health supports, but it's them going to access it is not happening. And that's where I would say kind of the, the issues continue with that. Yeah, no, it makes sense to think Aaron kind of touched upon everything. Like even I think the most poor part is like society. So like society itself. You know, think of like the old school movies that we used to have, like, you know, cowboys, superheroes, or like, I think they're predominantly men, and they put damsel in distress, but like so, like you said, Aaron, the woman's always crying and vulnerable, but the man is like, you know, hard as a rock. If they cry, they're then shown to be weak, because that's the damsel. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So you don't, they don't want to show that right. They always have that heart and exterior. And then when I find that when a man is vulnerable, and is showing his emotions, embarrassing, he could feel embarrassed. Other people could make comments like other males can make comments, I found that so I think it's a tough world out there for them to you know, be able to think that it's okay if they are struggling. I think that everyone said it's okay. But do they feel that it's okay, right. Yeah, I think it's just a stigma associated with sharing emotions, like Like think about even school. I know when I was in school, if anyone was kind of like, showing any emotion like any cry like crying, whatever, despite like, what gender you are or anything like that everyone was like talking about you. He's like, okay, back crying is a normal thing. It's okay. So there's nothing to be embarrassed about. And I think that it is very important to show emotion and ask for help when you need it. It's very important. There's no signs, it doesn't doesn't mean like you're weak or anything, it's if anything, I think you have the courage and you're brave to, you know, express how you're feeling. And I also would like to add that I feel like younger youth that are like males, if they are struggling with mental health, they have their parents support. And I'm not saying everybody does, but some youth would have their parents support, and then that would, they would help them find resources and give that to them. Right, if they're, you know, a younger age. But I find that when we get into, like, our 20s, I think that that and you're facing more hardships and challenges, I think that that can be actually like, forced men to feel even more like, like holding their emotions and more and not letting them out versus I feel like maybe when they're younger, they're able to but then I think when they reach that, like high school age, and trying to fit in, and then you get into, like, you know, either University, or you're in the workforce, and like you're facing challenges, and also like relationships as well. I think that, you know, men are known to have that tough skin and not show that vulnerability. But I think that it's really important that they do and that they know that those resources are available to them. Yeah, I feel like anyone, when Josh was saying someone like crying in school, I feel like yes, showing emotions in general can make others feel uncomfortable. But I feel like men specifically showing emotions, yeah, it's even more uncomfortable for people because you're not used to it. And you people don't know how to react. It's not something you see, very often. Yeah, I also feel like, it's the cyclical thing, where society is telling you that telling men that you can't show your most emotions, then you're bottling it up, they're getting bigger, and then it gets to the point of being completely unmanageable, then you're told it's shameful to ask for help. So you don't ask for help. And then you break and then it's just all over again, doing anything. That's the problem. When you when you bottle up all your motions eventually, like you should compartmentalize, like, that's fine. But for so long. Exactly. Exactly. Some of the boxes only so big, that's where everyone kind of I'm telling, like, like when I was in school, everyone would say, Yeah, you got to put your emotions, put them like in a box, whatever, you're gonna focus on this, then focus on this later, like, put it on the back burner. Next. Exactly. So when you open the box, and then how much more my sticking in it. So therefore, when the box eventually breaks, my emotions are coming out sideways. And now one little thing could set me off when it's not that big of a deal. Right? It's, it's, you know, you're like you said, like, boxes are gonna break the bottles breaking, everything is broken at that point. So that's why it's more important to deal with it and the time and, or even like, circle back to it never to like, just leave that alone forever. Because eventually it builds up and it's gonna come out sideways. Yeah. Yeah. Also, last point, before we move to the next question. Yeah, it's just it tarnishes your reputation a little as a man showing motion getting that support? Yeah, like, you don't want to be seen as weak. So yeah, then you don't, which is like a massive stereotype. And just like the stigma, I should know, this guy shouldn't have to feel like, inferior because I'm showing emotion. That's absolutely ridiculous. I should feel like just, you know, belonging that I've no shares. Exactly. But ya know, that's, that that is definitely something because like, that's, so that's the question someone like, pushes you or you know, hits you or whatever. And the next question immediately follows, right? Is, are you gonna cry? Are you gonna cry, or you're gonna cry? A lot. You don't want to cry? Because now the way the words are coming out makes it sounds like you are weak or the negative thing. Exactly. It's normal is no, yeah. 100% I bet you there's like, hundreds of studies out there, though, that will say something along the lines of like, you know, letting abortion is good for you. There's 1000 Like studies that would say that. And so yeah. Anyways, let's move on to next question. Our next question, so I'm gonna throw out a more personal question to the group. How do you think you personally have learned these stereotypes about like men being tough? And what have you seen or experienced with regards to men hesitating to be vulnerable or even accessing hesitating to access mental health supports? I will say that growing up in my households, personally, my father did not, you know, talk about his feelings or show emotion in that sense, if he was showing emotion, it was more so like in like birthday cards or things like that. But if he was struggling with his mental health, he would never, you know, voice that and he would never be the person to talk to my sister about like our feelings. And that was more so like my mom's rule. So I think for me growing up in the house that I grew up in, I would say that I was like, that's kind of where my stereotype comes from, like, oh, men are strong, and they can't be weak and things like that. I also played female, hockey, ice hockey, and all my coaches were men. And the few times I had the female coaches, they were the one saying, hey, you know, you play the game, bad game, what's up? What's going on? Then you would talk to them about your feelings versus a male coach would be like, Why are you not? Why are you? Why are you not playing your best, right? And like, what is what is going on? You know, I'm going to deduct your time, like things like that. So they have that more hard exterior. So I feel like from my personal opinion, that's where my stereotypes come from. Yeah, no, that's, that's fair. I think it's so it's funny you said like, too because like, I think what the coaches and everything like that, you tend to see that a lot where it's, I don't want to say like it's because they are men or because like they're women early. I think it's just like, think about the timeline and where they grew up to saxing an automation maybe your generation, it's the exact same thing I was saying earlier about, like, even think about the movies that they probably watched and grew up as a kid that you like as the man you're the hero, right? Damsel and all that stuff. It's it's like you said cyclical man is it's annoying, but on for myself. However, I learned to these stereotypes, man, I don't I don't really know if I can be honest. It kind of just I kind of grew up on like it with maturity part. It was just like, yeah, no, this doesn't seem right. Kind of like what would my God trusted my intuition and was like, Okay, so like, am I seriously weak? Because I shed tears. I'm like that, that's, that's actually ridiculous. You're the one that are probably like, you know, you're not showing emotion. So like, you'd be the one that's like, you're going through? Like, I don't know, I wouldn't call your weak but like, I feel like I'm pretty brave. Would you say that your high school experience or peer like experience with your peers had any influence on that? Probably. Honestly, I am. surrounded yourself with Yeah, so like, kind of people. We weren't like the popular kids. But like we were we were known. Right. So like, they always had like that stereotypical, like, you know, like, the cliques and everything. Like that way. The popular is the jocks. And then like the nerds and everything, the geeks, I kind of like, floated around them all. But I more gravitated towards like the geeks and nerds because like, that's what I have. I have a geek. But like, even then, our focuses weren't like shedding tears, or like, you know, having to be this macho man. We just honestly, we just kind of went through life doing us. But what sucked is when someone kind of gotten your way on purpose, and was like, Oh, you're laying because you're reading a book and not playing basketball. Right? And they ended their chubby around a band and they were like, are you gonna cries? So like, I don't know if my high school friends or anything I just the people I hung out with if it really had an influence on it, but like, it's just it was kind of something I grew to learn. Like, I knew what was right what was wrong in the sense that like, if that makes sense. But with maturity, I kind of just realized that so it's okay to share your emotions. It's okay to cry. I guess you think if you're any of your friends, whoever going through something, like a difficulty, like Did you guys ever discuss? Oh, 100% all the time. My friends used to call me like the therapist, Josh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, no, here. So yeah. But like, they would always say, I have, like, I'm having a hard time we will talk to Josh. And even last night, I was on the phone call with one of my friends. And she was she was discussing something about about, like, her relationship or whatever. And she's like, Can I get a guy's opinion on this? And I gave her my opinion, and she was like, you're gonna be really good. This is why I always come to you because you you know what's comfortable for people to have. Yeah, and I love that I'm so happy that I'm able to be trusting for people and I kind of just don't beat around the bush and have to shoot straight, which not everyone can handle. And I acknowledge that because sometimes I feel like okay, that was that was much I don't want to be seen as a jerk. But, ya know, but anyways, like, I kind of I kind of grew out of it. I kind of like, matured and we all did too. And I offered support to my friends all the time, and they did the same whether it was just through You think there's different ways to show support, distracting your friends, taking them out or whatever, playing video games with each other going like laughing whatever. Like that's a form of like support. In some cases, you're taking their mind off of whatever they're going through. Right. So that's what we did. Well, that's awesome that you were able to be a support system for that. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Because I feel like when you think of therapists, friends, like a friend you can talk to, you might Yeah, think of a female friend. So yeah, I'm glad that you've been that friend or your friends. Josh. That's great to hear. Thank you. Um, yeah, so I want to share I feel like, um, people mainly learn these stereotypes, I think through their interpersonal connections when you're really young, your male role models like father's brothers, and then when you're a bit older, like your friends at school, and I think my experience was a little unique. Because I grew up in an all female household, and I feel like all my interests and hobbies are so girly my whole life, like dance, and singing and fashion. So I never really had any guy friends growing up. So I feel like I learned a lot of male stereotypes from media since I didn't have those male interpersonal connections to Ireland from and that's the worst way to learn, like to see what a man should be like, the worst way is, yeah, through media like you want, like intrapersonal connections, that's real. Whereas like, the media, as we know, like really emphasizes those negative stereotypes about being tough and Okay, shall we move on to question number three? Yeah. Okay. So, everyone, what do you think we can do as a society to better support men's mental health and break the stereotypes and stigma? So like, what can we do through legislation and media school systems and just interpersonally to make men feel safer to be fundable? Question, yeah, it's a good question. It's, it's a good one. I don't think it's, I think it's like, specifically men's mental health is a what, like, you know, supporting that by think like, or like, the stigma and everything. I think that you know, getting rid of this stigma around mental health in general, would, you know, offer, like, supports like, I've heard stories, I left school kids like, standing up and like, yeah, go to therapy, go to therapy. There's just like, No Shaman. And like, that's awesome. Like, God, that is so cool. And then like, the rest of the class was like, yeah, hey, that's, that's so cool. I'm looking to get a therapist too, because, you know, I'm dealing with some of my other stuff. And I think I need someone to talk to, we're before like, you said that you're like, you're gonna go talk to a therapist. Are you kidding me? That's so main, like, are you okay? And it's like, we we've moved along way we're, you know, we're from where the stigma was, and where it is now. Like it's getting better. 100%. But I don't know through, like, legislation, media, I think the media right now they're trying to normalize, you know, mental health supports. However, with that being said, the media, like just itself really talks about mainly, like, they mainly talk about mental health, but they don't talk about like, treatments or supports to, you know, help with mental health. It's just addressing it, which is only part of the equation. And I also think media also includes, like, movies and TV shows, like fictional stuff. Yeah, like getting rid of that narrative of like, men being the hero all the time and stepping in and being tough. And yeah, we need to see more men and like movies and shows have been vulnerable, crying, all that stuff. I would just like to add that I actually think there's can be a stigma with the growth. And I think that's something to talk about. We do our presentations, and honestly, just talking to everybody, because I've had, you know, some you say, Well, you know, that's the mental health institution. Well, no, it's not come inside. It's in wellness, wellness. But it's also like, I think that people need to understand that this is also a place that you can just hang out, but it is a place like there is also the bonus that you can access mental health resources. Another reason why I think that sometimes there's that that's that stigma and I think it really anything that surrounds mental health has that stigma and we as a group have that stigma. So I think that even us as youth ambassadors can work towards breaking that and you know, helping youth feel like know that this is a safe space that they can come and it's not it's all about wellness here, but at the same time, it's not right like it's also just a safe space for you to come. If you need to access that or you need to talk to somebody we are there for that. But I think that you know, we are currently working on on breaking those, those barriers. Then those stereotypes and that stigma. So I think that there's lots of things in the world that lots of people that are trying to work on doing that. And I think it's great that we're part of that. And we're able to continue to work towards that. And that's what also I can bring up to our team as well like leadership team. Because they're like, how do we get more youth to come? And I'm like, so here's, here's the issue everyone I talked to, when I grade as I say something about mental health because of the stigma around it, it, it like diminishes the story. They're like Raiders, they hear they hear food, and they're like, Okay, I'm on board, but I say mental health. Oh, you know, when I got food at home while I was going to the hasty market. So that's why every tour I give or whatever, when I'm talking to anyone, like think of the grove as a giant clubhouse, where you can have anything you want, when you want and when you need it. Right. Think think about that sounds more attractive. Exactly. More more fun and clinical, it's not hospital like it's just a place to come hang out with like, if you want to go do your homework here. We got tutoring come on by, like really great if you just want to go places take a nap. So he built the couch. Because like there was no instruction backwards the first time. But it's a it's a comfortable couch. I used to be absolutely in control of time. So like, it's literally just a place to like, hang out, bring your friends if you want, right. Think of it as like your like shameless plug. Yeah, right. It's just everything. Everything here is free. We're just hanging out. When you ask the question, what do you think we can do as a society to better support men's mental health? We're doing that. Yeah, we are. We are part of that movement. And we are helping, educating awareness talking about it making, that's the most important thing about it. Comfortable, right? Like there's no reason that talking about this should be awkward or shameful, because it's a real relevant experience that yeah, a lot of people are feeling so it's like, you know, that quote, you know, like how the teachers and professors say like, if you have it, there's no stupid question. Because there's probably someone else or someone else who is feeling the same way restricted by these stereotypes, and they're struggling. So yeah. But yeah, I think that's I think, I think that's what we can do just kind of keep talking. lyons's have confidence in what we're saying, I think is very important. So to end off, guys, what advice or words of encouragement would you like to get to any men listening in today that might be struggling with their mental health? And also not just men struggling with their mental health? Also men who are just struggling with navigating how to live in a society that's restricting them from being their true vulnerable selves? Thoughts? That's a lot of pressure. Um, yeah, no, right answer. Yeah. I don't even know. Honestly, just reach out is when I reach don't be afraid to ask for help. Please be vulnerable. Be yourself. Yeah. If someone said, judge you, they're not someone you want in your life. Yeah, I think we're moving towards a society that, you know, that men are, it's okay to be, you know, vulnerable. And again, I'll touch on how we at the Grove, all replace that you can come. So, advice and words of encouragement, come to the growth. That's, that's my advice. Because honestly, I think that, you know, at the grove, you know, we're outside work, pretend we're in our little bubble, and you can come here and you can access those, those supports without being judged by anybody, none of our staff will judge you, and none of the other youth will, because we have created this safe space for you to, you know, navigate the struggles that you have, and that it's okay to be vulnerable in this place. So, you know, if I understand, I feel like a lot of people say, you know, it's okay, like, you know, all those things. But it's hard. It's hard world. And it's easier said than done, for sure. And I think that yeah, my advice would be come to the grove. Hang out with us. If you need if you need those mental health supports, as long as supports we're here for you. In that way. Yeah. No, I think you guys posted a beautifully, I think, I don't know how to answer that. Just, it's okay. You know, you're not the only one going through this. Right. So why do we Why do we have the growth? Yeah, because Because so are struggling. So because there's a need for it. Yeah. So you have to know that you're not alone in this and even though it may really feel like you are, you're not and that's especially why we have places like To grow for you to come to and access our services, because you're not the only one access. You're never alone. You're never alone. So like, like Sophia said, reach out, reach out. Well, I think these are all some really great points. It certainly gave me a lot to think about and I hope our listeners all feel the same way. I'd like to thank everyone for tuning in. And we hope you come back next month. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek out support. We've linked some general mental health supports and additionally, some resources that are specific to men's mental health in the description. If there's any topics that you'd like to hear us discuss, please reach out to us on our social media pages or by email. And yeah, that's all going to be in the description. Thanks again and have an awesome day. Bye, everyone.