Your Mental Wellness Podcast for Your Voice and Sanity
Your Mental Wellness Podcast for Your Voice and Sanity
Benefits of Coaching for Mental Wellness?
Another WOW dialogue with Jackie Borlawsky who shares about her experience how different personalities (e.g., high achievers, extraverts) are befitting from coaching (powerful questions that generate forward movement).
Contact Jackie: jmb6432@gmail.com
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Okay, and welcome back, Jackie you, it has been such a joy to not just collaborate in the coaching exchange, but also to have you share a little bit about your, your excitement about the profession of coaching, or this, this this business of coaching that we get to engage in. And in our last conversation, you said, something I thought was really interesting about, you know, getting the clients to experience coaching and these powerful questions, and then kind of even an expectation as to what to expect in these in these conversations. And that really sets them up for for, for great outcomes. So So now, you know, in addition to to you, you use the word cadence, you know, it's this, this, this thing that just opens up for them with these questions. So tell us a little bit more about that experience with, with guiding people through those in these with these powerful questions.
Jackie Borlawsky:Yeah, so, um, it's, it's interesting for me, because I will, I will explain that, that coaching has a cadence and a pattern to it, right. And it's easy for me to explain that. But it's like each client is different. So there's, so I can't always explain what coaching is going to be for the client without having like, some sort of relationship with them ahead of time. But I can say that there are patterns within the differences. And like one of my one of my favorites is just, I like to like to categorize and work with a client to be the most effective for them. And what I'm finding is that there, there's some clients, usually high achieving clients that are just, they just do what they do. And they don't really need a whole lot of help, right? When they usually seek out a coach or work with me, because they just need an accountability partner. Right. And at some point, there just some seems to be some topics or some goals that they have, that they haven't been able to get themselves to do, which is not normal for an overachiever. So what they're doing is, they're, they're reaching out to me to help hold them accountable. And then my role in that is just to show up, let them tell me their story. And then just poke and prod and ask them, like, where and why they are in the process that they're at, right? I don't, it's not about me, guilt tripping them, they're gonna do that to themselves, right. So it's just really about me showing up for them. And being prepared when they have something to share. Then you have the other clients that are external processors. These ones are very interesting this is this is how I find myself as a coachee. I will come into the conversation, not knowing what I wanted to talk about, I just know that something's on my mind. And in these external processors will come in, and they'll, they'll need to get it started by just getting it off their chest, right. And even though that takes up a good portion, typically of the conversation. My role as a coach in that is to just listen to everything that they had said. And then identify the point at which I need to ask them, okay, what do you want to do with it? Right, and then that just like shifts their focus away from from like, ruminating and fixing it on the prod problem and how it's, it's a mess. And it starts getting them to think about forward motion and be like, you know, what, what am I gonna do about this? What do I own in this? And how can I take control of it? Right? So those are the two like, main functions that that I see myself playing in their sessions. But I know there's there's a lot more out there. And I feel like even for me, I come into a session having different personalities each time. So yeah, I don't. Yeah, I'd like to say that is that there's a cadence and a pattern, but I don't, but it's hard to it's hard to explain that without giving some sort of disclaimer that each client is different.
Sibylle Georgianna:Yes, and I think that's the beauty of that whole idea of coaching where it's really partnering with the with the client, wherever they're at whatever their style is, which I think is such an I do call a cadence I think it's it's, yeah, it's definitely like an art to to engage in there. And I loved a lot of times we have so much going on, it's like if you made them a funnel, like okay, you got it all in put in the funnel and now what we are, what are we focusing on and tying that back to my my desired beloved idea of like efficiency.
Jackie Borlawsky:It's funny because it's funny because a new client of mine I've had probably about five sessions with with this Listen, we just ended up, we met up in person, the other week, and he was trying to explain to my other friends there. He's like, it's amazing what she does. And I'm, like, nervous and blushing and everything. But he's just like, Look, I just come into the conversation. And it's like, all of my toys are all over the room. And it's a mess. And it's overwhelming. And she just comes in and goes, Look, there's a toy box over there, go, go start putting them in there. And it just like, yeah. Like, that's kind of how I imagined now it's like, has a really good, like.
Sibylle Georgianna:And then also, I mean, as we know, when we put our stuff away, we fuse. So I Yes, he's so much better. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. So yeah, so definitely very interesting. And the idea of knowing what to expect, or even this idea of, it's kind of like an on demand service in a way, like, we were just whatever, what's a good time, you know, what, what's the, when the topic arises to, to discuss it then as needed, but not to make it something that, you know, people already have a lot of other people's agendas that they're needing to deal with. And so that's the other part I love about coaching is that they bring the agenda, we sort of maybe through with them a little bit, but ultimately they the client remains the one in charge, and then the end the lead on that. In that space, so Yeah, awesome. I love you know, even that picture with the with the toy box, that's really powerful. That's a nice compliment to get.
Jackie Borlawsky:Yeah, right. From your client.
Sibylle Georgianna:Okay, awesome. Well, yeah, so I think all of these these points that really make me excited to, to, to offer this as an option for, for clients to engage in. So in terms of like, the people who are just getting their feet wet, or, you know, maybe they've tried other means of supporting themselves, maybe they do therapy or something. Is that something what you maybe hear people then say, you know, I did this, but now I'm doing this, and any, anything like that, where, you know, usually try a lot of things out before, you know, we may end up with coaching, I don't know, heard anything from from those that you work with?
Jackie Borlawsky:Yes, and, and I find it interesting, because this is probably a whole other discussion. But what I find is, most people that are interested in coaching are already kind of open to self development in trying new things, and kind of going outside of the comfort zone, and even being vulnerable with another person, right. So even the ICF kind of makes sure that every client in any type of of person that's interested in coaching knows that there's a difference between therapy, consulting, mentoring and coaching. And so what I find is that there are people that come to the conversation really needing a mentor, or, or a therapist, you know, so in those situations, it's pretty clear that, like, I will know the boundary. And they'll be like, even though I'm not a therapist, right? In the coaching conversation, they'll they'll say, Well, I've already tried therapy, but maybe I need more. And then you're in that you're in that headspace where you can't have you can't, you're not going to say that you can't have a conversation around therapy, mentoring or consulting. But it really needs to be about how the client is going to seek out those resources. Because it's not you as a coach, your view as a coach is going to be there to support them, when they come to the conclusion that they want to pursue another support level, right. And so the people that are seeking out coaching typically are already open to those things or have already experienced them. And so that's one of the things where I think some new, like, coaching coaches and training get a little bit nervous when that line is there. And what I've found is I actually get a lot more, I feel a lot more trust with my clients when they share some of their past, like if they've had any past therapy or traumas or anything, they'll share it. And they almost kind of expect the reaction, right? And then when they don't get the reaction, they expect like they just, it just unleashes everything for them. They're like, because I take it in as data. I'm not here to talk about your past. I'm here to understand your past so that we can help you move forward. And it's been it's very interesting to see the change in their in the direction of the conversation once they've actually just like let it out that they've had past help or past issues, right. And so, that takes a lot as a coach to be able to just take it as data and move forward with it. It's it's awkward at first but I think I think the clients are the ones that really drive that. And so they wouldn't go there. If they weren't comfortable.
Sibylle Georgianna:Yes. And the other I mean, first of all, kudos to that, to you to do that. It's kind of like your due diligence to be really clear as to what your role is, or what your, what your path is that you're on. Because as you say, you know, it's not necessarily that people come in, they're like, they have a clearly defined, you know, they have not necessarily educated themselves is when I have been educated on on those differences. And you and, yeah, this is like another wow, I think with with the coaching approach that even, you know, putting things out there as the coach, she, it's still something that is is, you know, put back in a positive way into their own, you know, competencies to be take. I have I've collected this data point with you. Where do you want to take it from? Alright, any things that you wanted to move forward with from the previous approaches or things you, you know, you want to set aside or things you don't have yet, you know, looking for that, that it's not there in what it's not damaged yet.
Jackie Borlawsky:It could still appear? Yes. So,
Sibylle Georgianna:yeah. So powerful. Anyway, so I'm talking to all these like, like, please, is there any other comment or question you have on your appointment?
Jackie Borlawsky:No, I think I think it's interesting, because I, I don't know if I knew that I'm passionate about these conversations until just now. I appreciate you bringing this out in me. Thank you.
Sibylle Georgianna:You're so very welcome. Yeah. And so as before, you are open to have your contact information shared in the link. Okay. Fantastic. So if anyone wants to get ahold of you learn more. Who wants to be taken to the cadence? You know, in your work and your line of work? Yep. They will know how to find you on where to find you. So thanks so much for your time, and looking forward to, you know, our continued conversation. Thank you.