Your Mental Wellness Podcast for Your Voice and Sanity

Your Mental Wellness: Attending to Executive Loneliness

• Dr. Sibylle Georgianna's Tools for Vitality • Season 5 • Episode 1

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I am thrilled to have the opportunity to introduce you to the #1 International Best-Selling Author and award-winning Speaker, LinkedIn Top Voice 2023, Ironman World Athlete, Leadership Keynote Speaker, and Executive Mental Health Advocate, Nick Jonsson. 

Nick shares about his passion, research and solutions to attend to loneliness that many of us, including executives and business owners, experience in the workplace. 
Contact Nick:

You'r listening to YOUR Mental Wellness podcast for YOUR voice and sanity.

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Email me: toolsforvitality@pm.me .

Tools for Vitality: Therapy, Coaching, Optimizing Nutrition and Movement for Mental Wellness

Sibylle Georgianna:

Here we are, I am very grateful that I do have a very special visitor to the podcast, who is an expert in various areas of my passion, which is Nick Johnson, he is the key specialist on helping executives and people in leadership positions and with businesses to break free from executive loneliness. And, you know, it's it's basically my passion for serving those who have run their own business serving those who are in responsibility, and really attending to mental health, even with regards to the sense around loneliness. So I am grateful that you get to make time in your busy schedule, Nick. So yeah, tell us a little bit who you are and what you do, and whatever you would like to share from your personal story.

Unknown:

Thank you so much for Bill for inviting me to be part of this conversation. It's great to be here. And indeed, I'm Nick. And I'm supporting executives and entrepreneurs these days, to come understanding with loneliness, and especially to seek help and get well from anything coming out of the isolation. And I was born myself in Sweden, I was educated in Australia. And then I lived and work the last 20 years in Southeast Asia and I worked in various management job working myself up to General Manager and Managing Director, basically managing large international firms in Southeast Asia. So that was my corporate career. These days, my life had changed some life changing events, which we were looking to today change the path for my life. And I'm now instead running confidential peer groups, where we create these safe spaces where the university in your executives or business owners can sit in a group with like minded, where they can discuss the work related challenges and seek help of those.

Sibylle Georgianna:

That is so fantastic. And I want to pick your brain where you went to school in Australia. Fun fact, I did just three months of schooling in Australia when I was in the 11th grade in a Lutheran boarding school, so I don't know where did you go to school? I just want to like it's like a little sideways. But if you don't mind me asking Where were you in Australia? That's so beautiful there. Yes,

Unknown:

it's beautiful. I went to the Gold Coast on not too far from Brisbane, then I studied there.

Sibylle Georgianna:

That's so fun. Me too, out of outside of Brisbane, that's very fun. Maybe we went to the same school at the same. That's put them on right there. Okay, but that sounds very engaging how you found your your niche to really get people more comfortable. And it's in a safe place to share about what truly matters to them. So So you know, as this is about the podcast on mental wellness, and a way to express our voice and create sanity with that. So yeah, so what what, what's one of the things you you could share about these groups and what what you're observing in those groups?

Unknown:

Yeah, I would say that first looking at my own journey, and I thought I was doing the right thing. You know, I set aggressive goals are achieved my targets, I got the promotions, I impress the bosses, and I did everything that society set us up to be successful. And then when I was there at the top, and I had the managing director position with a good package, and everything else, I felt lonely, I felt isolated, I felt miserable. And that's when I questioned myself, what am I doing here. And at that stage, I had a personal crisis, I resigned from my job and with that, also came a lot of personal turmoil, I ended up in a divorce and so on. So I had a few years of big challenges. I went through a lot of pain myself during that time. But as I came out of this, I was looking around me and I started basically to asking people, interviewing people and so on. And I what I could hear that was that so many senior executives had a similar feelings, and that they also felt that, you know, they, they were almost like slaves to the work, they just work for the company, and they didn't really have a clear purpose in their life. So as I looked into this deeper and deeper and the more I studied the subject, I realized that we need to do something and and one of the things I did was to write the book but the second thing was also to create these safe spaces then, and I'm pot now have a network which is called EGM. And you have also the same group in the US they're called V Stosh there with these peer groups, which are there really to help each other to, to discuss and it's really to practice that vulnerability to really learn to open up and read realize that having some issues and challenges is not a weakness, we can just discuss them together and solve them. So that is a little bit of what I'm doing these days.

Sibylle Georgianna:

Yes. So what are what are important line of work there? As I assume that, just from that, whether it's with with your own experience, or with the work that you're doing, that you do see that loneliness does impact the modern business world, and particularly the us being able to so to work remotely, or you're having all those changes to the way how we work? So, so even in those in those groups here, what would be, you know, one of the, if there is a challenge, you can extract that seems to be that, and it could be even cultural channels. I mean, it could be any challenge, but what do you feel that people are facing that really create that look, that creates belongingness?

Unknown:

Yeah, the biggest challenge I see. And this goes across the world across cultures. And the most common thing, it doesn't matter if you're an executive, or if you're a business owner, but it is to manage your stakeholders to manage up wards. And these days, especially with the working from home working online, people are really, really struggling with this because many times perhaps they have a duck direct report. But then they might have a few dotted lines where they do things. And then before they know it, they said yes to projects here and there. And then they working around the clock, doing projects and joining global meetings, regional meetings, working across all time zones. And that is a real issue. And then you're in this era where job security is an illusion. So people also scared of saying no. So the main issue people have now is really how to protect themselves how to put parameters around themselves. And in order to not, you know, damage their career and to come across someone who's lazy and you don't want to do the job. But actually being someone here who's looking after their own well being physical health and trying to balance their life also to be of service for the family. And this can be particularly difficult if it's a single mother, for example, working from home with a child. And if she's given, you know, tight deadlines, and multiple projects and tasks, which is outside of the job scope, and she's not able, or know how to say no to this, then it's a real issue. And it doesn't have to be only at the junior level, I see this as a really senior level, I can just give you one example. I know one CEO of a big international firm, he lives in work in Singapore where he is stationed. And he had his mother coming over to visit him, which he was very much looking forward to this was just coming out of the pandemic and he had not seen her for a few years. And just the night before she was arriving. And he was gonna go and pick her up at the airport, his boss flew in from another city, and had arranged for a company dinner and so on. And he was expected to be there. And he, he was terrified of telling the boss that actually, you know, I need to go and pick up my mom here at the airport, we need to reunite and he didn't tell the boss he made arrangements for someone else to pick up the mum or mum but that broke his heart. And that is the dilemma that we're facing at all levels these days.

Sibylle Georgianna:

Yes, and I think that is so spot on, especially with accommodating different time zones. And even years ago when I was working for.com But you know, I got to manage like different databases that were like in different time zones it made you know, as you say, it's really making that work life balance very, very hard. And I guess it they look at even the internet or the online work as a way it diffuses our, you know, that we really do we have that power to say no, because we're like, well, if I'm turning this down, you know, we don't have that direct feedback that everything will still work and keep going which we may get if we weren't in a physical office together and yes, so So you know, if we were to keep on top and and this is just one of my areas of passion is is to help really like to help with cultural issues or cultural diversity here, what would be a principle of something from those groups and from your from your life story where you feel it could encourage us to be welcoming for this cultural challenge. But now, you know, we would also have to deal with the challenge with that. So what what could inspire

Unknown:

Yeah, so I think, I think the first is you know, that many times also today we are in a world where we communicate very fast we don't stop, break and pour Before we respond, we is instant messaging these chat groups and so on. And that adds issues, especially when it's also different cultures, languages, different regulations, laws, we are born with different mindsets and so on. So this false communication, while it can be useful and productive, it can also be very damaging, especially in if we link it back to the previous case, we discussed when it's about saying no, and putting parameters around yourself, if you are indeed in the office space, and your boss asked you to do something, which clearly is not in line with what you should be doing or capable of doing, it would be a very different conversation, if you walk into the office of the boss, or if you go to the water cooler and meet the boss asked for going down to the canteen for a coffee to have a chat, and you discuss it, it will be sold, most likely without worries, in fact, and minutes because the boss didn't know and just delegated a task. But now if it is on a chat group, and you say sorry, no, I cannot do that I have something else. And then it might start a conflict with your boss, and then you're gonna end up feeling isolated, sad, hurt, and you have no one to talk about because the boss calendar is back to back in the next three weeks. And then you go home with this and you lying this sleepless night and so on. And that is what I see all the time happening across cultures, and also been working across the multiple time zones. There's different holidays, festive seasons. I know now that for example, Chinese New Year, yesterday and this weekend in this part of the world where I'm in Asia, wireless companies in America who's setting up you know, all hands meetings for all staff on the Monday morning when all the staff on annual leave and everyone is expected to be there. There's no no one looking into is this actually an annual leave or public holiday in that part of the world. So these are the major issues. And again, it's all linked back to the same topic.

Sibylle Georgianna:

So when you know you advocate for combating the sense of loneliness, what's the best medicine that we can take to, to attend to that? Sets?

Unknown:

Yes, according to me, it's about speaking up then to voice our pain and concern and the we as humans love to feel sympathy from other people. And this is something I learned from the world of recovery. You have so many beautiful 12 step recovery programs for everything these days. And it doesn't matter if someone pick up a social media, addiction, shopping, addiction, alcohol addiction, whatever it is, there's a whole world of people who get support.

Sibylle Georgianna:

How can people reach you best and learn about your work?

Unknown:

Yeah, so I have a website and it's Nick johnson.com, it's Nic, KJ O N, ss, o n.com. And most of my material, so they're also links to my book. But the book can also be found on Amazon. It's called executive loneliness. And for those who have a busy life, it's also available as an audiobook now on Audible,

Sibylle Georgianna:

that's wonderful. Yes, it is definitely something to listen into. And another fun fact about my studies in Germany at the time, that was one of the areas I did research with clinical, you know, implications for the experience of loneliness. So yeah, it's feeling many places, you know, our time together has come have come to a beautiful circle here. So, thank you so much for your time and for your service to others and to the Raider community. And for being here and sharing with our listeners. I really appreciate it so much.

Unknown:

Thank you