Ever grappled with the fear and shame that bubbles up when you're on the brink of a breakthrough in therapy? This week, as Big Shay rejoins us with a fresh perspective from her time off, we peel back the curtain on the emotional rollercoaster of self-care and personal growth. We share our own tales of wrestling with the truths that redefine our beliefs and the coping mechanisms we so desperately cling to. With raw honesty, we discuss the importance of putting ourselves first in the healing process, even when it feels like we should be shielding others from our pain.
Healing isn't just sunshine and self-help quotes; it has a dark side that can be as daunting as it is necessary to confront. Our most recent podcast session took an unforeseen turn when our guest chose privacy over public vulnerability, reminding us all that the path to healing is far from linear. In this heartfelt conversation, we explore the delicate balance between light and shadow in our lives, the bravery required to accept every facet of our being, and why creating a supportive community is non-negotiable for those brave enough to walk this journey.
Looking to the horizon of 2024, we're setting intentions to keep elevating our discussions, embracing the 'God energy' that fuels our mission for authenticity and growth. We're inviting you to join us in this quest and share in our gratitude for the incredible support that has allowed this podcast to become a sanctuary for so many. With love and anticipation, we sign off, eager to continue this transformative conversation and offer practical wisdom to support our listeners along the way.
Ever grappled with the fear and shame that bubbles up when you're on the brink of a breakthrough in therapy? This week, as Big Shay rejoins us with a fresh perspective from her time off, we peel back the curtain on the emotional rollercoaster of self-care and personal growth. We share our own tales of wrestling with the truths that redefine our beliefs and the coping mechanisms we so desperately cling to. With raw honesty, we discuss the importance of putting ourselves first in the healing process, even when it feels like we should be shielding others from our pain.
Healing isn't just sunshine and self-help quotes; it has a dark side that can be as daunting as it is necessary to confront. Our most recent podcast session took an unforeseen turn when our guest chose privacy over public vulnerability, reminding us all that the path to healing is far from linear. In this heartfelt conversation, we explore the delicate balance between light and shadow in our lives, the bravery required to accept every facet of our being, and why creating a supportive community is non-negotiable for those brave enough to walk this journey.
Looking to the horizon of 2024, we're setting intentions to keep elevating our discussions, embracing the 'God energy' that fuels our mission for authenticity and growth. We're inviting you to join us in this quest and share in our gratitude for the incredible support that has allowed this podcast to become a sanctuary for so many. With love and anticipation, we sign off, eager to continue this transformative conversation and offer practical wisdom to support our listeners along the way.
We don't talk about that. We don't talk about how fearful it is to relive certain things that altered your life. We don't talk about how scary and egregious it is when you have to go and face certain things that change the way you believe and cope with life.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely correct, because the reality is, when I was in my darkest places and I was dealing with my journey, it was very fearful and scary. It was very dark, it was very lonely, it was very isolated. Yes, because the truth of the matter is, when you lean into this healing journey, it's not going to be easy Absolutely not. People going to start. First of all, you're afraid and you're ashamed. You're afraid of how people are going to judge you. You're afraid of how people are going to respond to you. You're afraid of the backlash that come with telling your truth. It's very fearful.
Speaker 2:
It also messes with your psychological Not only that, when you're on that journey, you mostly think about relationships. You don't put yourself first and realize that this is something that I'm doing for myself that will positively impact all of the important relationships in my life. But the first thought is who's this going to hurt? Who can?
Speaker 1:
I protect.
Speaker 2:
Who's going to be upset with me? Who should I protect? What shouldn't? I say Things like that and it absolutely stifles and suffocates the process.
Speaker 2:
As you all know, on the Big Dog Talk podcast, we have a slogan therapy is always in session, and that is why we are now sponsored by BetterHelp. During hard times, it can get really difficult if you don't have anyone to talk to. Being alone with your thoughts can be an isolating feeling that can allow negativity to consume you. Betterhelp has customized online therapy that offers video, phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. Some of the things that we have learned from our therapist on the Big Dog Talk podcast are how to be emotionally available, why it's important to practice self-care and calming activities to ease anxiety.
Speaker 2:
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Speaker 1:
Welcome back to another episode of the Big Dog Talk podcast, and it's the boy Big Charles in the building, baby.
Speaker 2:
Welcome back, Big Shay. I feel like I'm welcoming myself back.
Speaker 1:
You really are. You've been gone for a minute.
Speaker 2:
You gave me a little mini vacation. You definitely took a break, or did I take a break, you?
Speaker 1:
took a break. I ain't no good and I came fire you because I needed you, but hey, it's me.
Speaker 2:
I'm Big Shay, I'm back on the mic and I'm back in the building and I'm feeling myself.
Speaker 1:
Man. I just welcome myself back though you just whoo. Thank you. You guys give a hand clap for Big Shay coming back to work. Hey, coming back to work. She took a leave of absence.
Speaker 2:
I definitely did take a leave of absence, and it was necessary. Well, you look bright. Oh well, thank you. You still look good. Thank you, you look good, though I'm glad.
Speaker 1:
I'm actually glad you took some time off because it gave me some time to even learn more about myself and the podcast I love that. It's all good. It taught me a lot.
Speaker 2:
It was unexpected time off, but it worked out.
Speaker 1:
Right, but I want to dive right into it. Let's get it. I want to be honest with you guys. I want to go straight into it. I had another episode planned for today. We had another episode planned for today but at the last minute our guests decided that they didn't want the episode to be aired. Just to give you a little back story. I like to keep it all the way honest.
Speaker 1:
On the Big Dog Talk podcast, our healing community, this safe space, no-transcript Trauma and reliving the past is not an easy thing, and my guest had reached out to me to share his story. He wanted to share his story. My guest reached out saying that you know, I believe I'm ready to share my story. I believe that it would help others. We went through the episodes, we went through the videoing and two days before the release, my guest decided that he wasn't ready yet. So this episode is off the.
Speaker 1:
It's an expeditiously episode, but I also understood once my guest got a chance to see a clip of some of these things that he had to relive and how it affected him. I understood because I know what it's like to face darkness. So here we are today. We're gonna discuss facing our darkness and what it's really like when people talk about healing. When people talk about a healing journey, people, it sounds good when you say healing, it sounds pleasant but really is not. And that was one of the reasons I wanted to create and cultivate a community where we have like stories, have each other, have similar stories, because I understand that it's really not easy Talking about it by yourself, dealing with it by yourself, not getting the professional help, not having a safe space, not having the support. This is one of the reasons why I created this platform so that we don't have to go through these circumstances alone, right, right.
Speaker 2:
And I mean, when you mentioned like healing, I think that I know for sure in 2023, it was a word that you could just hear thrown around so loosely and like a part of me felt really good that people realizing that healing is necessary in order to navigate towards becoming the best version of yourself. But even with that, when a word like healing is used so loosely, it makes me feel like sometimes people don't really understand the dark side of healing, the intensity of healing and how it's really a transformational process that a lot of times looks very ugly, very scary and very nasty. And I could say that for my own personal healing journey that I'm still on, because healing is continuous. It's not something where I'm healed. You put it to the side. No, it's healing.
Speaker 2:
You're always healing, you're always working on things within yourself and so, respectfully, when you shared the news with me that our guest wanted to kind of pull back and not have the episode released, obviously, as a business person, I'm like dang, the impact that that's going to have on the business is. It's a huge setback and there was time spent just the whole business side of it, but then once I tapped into just the human side of people and understanding and knowing what a healing journey looks like and how scary it can really be, I became very sympathetic towards the guest and really was praying that one day, as he continues on his journey, that he can come to a place of peace and give himself more grace in order to continue to grow and become more aware of the things that, spiritually and emotionally, are suppressing him.
Speaker 1:
See, I understood instantly. I have to be really aware, having this platform, I have to be really aware, I have to be really sympathetic, I have to be really graceful and I have to always be able to put myself in the other person's position and shoes to understand where they're coming from. On a professional side, two or three days before the releasing, it was like a shocking to the body, but I still had to just be honest with myself. This healing journey is not easy and we don't talk about that. We don't talk about how fearful it is to relive certain things that altered your life. We don't talk about how scary and egregious it is when you have to go and face certain things that changed the way you believe and cope with life.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely correct.
Speaker 1:
Because the reality is, when I was in my darkest places and I was dealing with my journey, it was very fearful and scary, it was very dark, it was very lonely, it was very Isolating. Yes, because the truth of the matter is when you, when you lean into this healing journey, it's not going to be easy, absolutely not. People going to start not. First of all, you're afraid and you are ashamed. You're afraid of how people are going to judge you Right. You're afraid of how people are going to respond to you. You are afraid of the backlash that come with telling your truth. It's very fearful. It also messes with your psychological and not only that.
Speaker 2:
when you're on that journey, you mostly think about relationships Like you don't put yourself first and realize that this is something that I'm doing for myself that will positively impact all of the important relationships in my life. But the first thought is who's this going to hurt? Who?
Speaker 1:
can I protect.
Speaker 2:
Who's going to be upset with me? Who should I protect? What shouldn't? I say Things like that and it absolutely stifles and suffocates the process.
Speaker 1:
It definitely suppresses it, and it also brings you and unconsciously brings us, back to protecting everyone else but self.
Speaker 2:
Exactly.
Speaker 1:
And this journey, this journey is all about self Of putting yourself first. This journey is about freeing yourself. This journey is about clearing up your mental space. This journey is, you know I think about it often how life has conditioned us to live in a world of duality.
Speaker 1:
And what I mean about light and darkness, right and wrong, and life conditioned us to shame the dark side. Whether it be through the way we were parented, whether it be through our religious beliefs, whether it be through our circumstances, life teaches us and conditions us to be shameful of our dark side Absolutely. And when I was going through my really deep, deep depth of my soul, soul searching, just accepting me for what it really is, my experience with life I realized that because of my life experiences I was, I learned to be ashamed of my darkness. I learned to be ashamed of everything that I experienced, certain things that I experienced because I didn't want judgment to come upon me. But once I learned how to sit in that darkness, this was a scary road.
Speaker 1:
Especially when you're doing it alone. It's a scary road when you're doing this alone. This is exactly why this is at the top of the list, why I wanted to create a cultivated community Absolutely Because no one deserves to go through the healing journey by themselves.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and sorry to cut you off, but even when you have, when you're in the deeps, in the depths of your healing journey and you are, you know, resonating things and becoming more aware of things, like you said, that have impacted your experience within your life, there are times when you do have a spouse, a significant other Could be a parent there with you, but because it's so intense, it could cause you to feel like nobody really understands. You still feel alone, you still want to feel isolated. So that's why it's important to create those systems in place, because things could happen, you could. Every day is different on your healing journey. One day you could appreciate your support system, you could want to talk about it, but then the very next day you can become withdrawn and isolated. The people around you don't really matter, because you're in such a space of reflecting and recognizing some of the impact of your life experience that you feel like nobody really understands what you're going through and really can't help you.
Speaker 1:
Well, this is why this is why Neither one of us are therapists, neither one of us are professionals, but this is why Seeking professional help and having us a loving support system should be the top two priorities when you're going through a healing journey.
Speaker 2:
This is my opinion.
Speaker 1:
But the issue with that, the issue with having a loving support system that's going to be with you when you're in the belly of the beast, most of us have unconsciously ruined the relationships with the ones that we need the most. Right, and so we do feel alone and lonely. Right, because you really don't have your true rocks with you. This is why it's man. This is why it's really important to gradually lean into it. Yes, seek professional help. Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:
Because, reality is You're putting yourself in a vulnerable place, You're messing with your dealing with your psyche. Yes, stripping yourself You're stripping yourself to the core of you and sitting in your darkest shadows and learning how to accept your experiences for what it is and rewriting your story Absolutely. And there's no way that you can rewrite your story without facing your old story and leaning into it bit by bit, peace by peace.
Speaker 2:
Accept it.
Speaker 1:
Accept it.
Speaker 2:
This is what this is my life, this is what happened to me, and it's not going to be an excuse.
Speaker 1:
It's not going to be an excuse for me to be the best version of myself, Exactly my my experience does not excuse my poor behavior.
Speaker 2:
Or how I treat people, or how I treat myself. That's not the answer.
Speaker 1:
Because a lot of us go around unconsciously knowing that we've developed some coping mechanisms to help us cope with our trauma, but it causes hurt to other people. That's just the way I am. So if we don't learn how to deal with ourselves, deal with our reality, deal with our story and sit in it, this is the thing about life. We have to learn how to love and accept everything about us. Reality is, I had to ask myself. Reality is? Throughout life, I struggled mentally, Not knowing why I was struggling mentally. I've created this warrior mindset that I don't need anyone. I've created this mindset that I'm tough. I've created this mindset that I can do this by myself. I don't need friends. I've created this based off of my environment, based off of my life circumstances, based off of my beliefs, based off of what I've learned. And nobody really understand what a person have to extract from themselves to get to the pureness of who they, the essence of who we really are.
Speaker 2:
I absolutely agree with that, charles.
Speaker 2:
You know I like when you said you know throughout your life, you didn't realize that you were struggling mentally.
Speaker 2:
And so, like I said a moment ago, like that's just who I am, that was me remembering that when I was not operating, you know, in my the best version of myself and not treating people a certain way or you know, not creating, you know, closeness and intimacy with the important relationships in my life that I had the mindset of that's just the way that I am and you can just you can love me or leave me alone, but that's not a space that's creating one.
Speaker 2:
That's not me treating myself well. That's the first part. And two, it's not okay for you to take your life experiences, be that as it may, and translate that into other relationships in your life. It's very unfair, and so the point of this episode is kind of, you know, us letting our community know that it is our goal in 2024 to become even more intimate with them, because we did not have to say that, oh, we had another episode for you guys. We didn't have to say that we could have gone on like we normally do and release content, but I think that through that experience with the guests.
Speaker 2:
It was also very enlightening for us and kind of brought us back to the center of the the why behind the big dog talk podcast, and so we wanted to share that with you guys, and with that, I would like for us to just let you guys know what you can expect from us in 2024.
Speaker 1:
But before that, before that I want to just drop a few jewels, like why is important to lean into our trauma this year? All roles leave back to self, absolutely let's go. You know what I mean? Because we talk about healing but we never talk about, we never really discuss, why it's important, right? So I wrote some notes down, if you don't mind me sharing really quick. Yes, yes, wonderful, great job.
Speaker 1:
Facing our trauma is important for several reasons. One healing and recovery. Confronting trauma is a crucial step in healing the process, allowing individuals to work through emotions, understand the impact and to move towards recovery. Two facing your trauma is beneficial because you can prevent long term effects. Unaddressed trauma can lead to long term psychological and physical health issues. Facing it early can help mitigate a lot of these effects. Number three it improves your mental health.
Speaker 1:
When you deal with your darkness, confronting trauma with support can contribute to improve mental health, reducing symptoms of conditions like PTSD, anxiety and depression. Confronting your trauma helps develop personal growth. Overcoming trauma can foster resilience, contribute to personal growth, helping individuals develop coping mechanisms and a stronger sense of self. Last but not least, facing your trauma creates healthy relationships. Addressing trauma can positively impact relationships by reducing the emotional baggage that might affect interactions with others. So, although facing your trauma is challenging, seeking professional help and a support system from loved ones can make the process of facing trauma more manageable, absolutely. I know I said a lot, but I wanted to give some jewels though. Yep, we give doggy treats here.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, that's spot on.
Speaker 1:
Okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:
Spot on. No, I think that that was necessary because you know we shared a story, but then, like you said, you always want to. We always want to give out doggy treats, something for people to bite on, reflect on, and also it's a tool. You just gave some tools that are applicable to continue with, you know, the healing journey.
Speaker 1:
We want to build a quality life of value, absolutely. We want to take out, we want to make our life really rich, though, like we come from, a community of just suffering is the norm. Like I literally was talking to someone in the African American community the other day and we were talking about certain situations and I said you know what? I'm going to do things different because I don't want my daughter to experience the same suffering that I experienced. And the response was well, you know, suffering is a part of our community.
Speaker 2:
That's how we've been conditioned. That's deep down in ourselves, though, be ye transformed. That's deep down in ourselves.
Speaker 1:
That's for another topic by the renewing of the mind.
Speaker 2:
But anyway, that's for another topic.
Speaker 1:
That is, let's go. What's yours?
Speaker 2:
getting ready to do. Let the people know what to expect in 2024.
Speaker 1:
So what we're going to, what you're going to, what you can expect in 2024 is we're going to get a lot more intimate.
Speaker 1:
Yes, you know, big Charles, really have a vision to cultivate a community where we foster putting mental health first, where we foster putting our emotional health, physical health, financial health, spiritual health, spiritual health first. You know we're going to have guests that come on the show and tell their stories and how they overcome it and share their battles. We're going to have, we're going to continue to support businesses. Yes, we're going to have professionals to come on here and give us tools, not just to just talk about trauma, but financial, financial literacy and how we can apply certain small steps to elevate our life and give us like a five year plan. Here my goal is to go into a deeper depth of becoming intimate with you off of the podcast, because reality is we only can talk about certain things on here as well, and for so long and for so long, yes, but if we can create a community off the grid where we're talking with you guys, we have many events where we get to talk to you up close and personal.
Speaker 2:
Yes, that's cool. That's cool. So, essentially, what Big Charles is saying is that we want to continue to cultivate and curate an experience for you guys that definitely is continue to be relatable. So, yes, we will continue to have guests on the podcast to foster that relatability, to share their stories. Whatever we go through in life, there's someone that has that relatability, that has been through something similar or going through something, and so we just want to be a space of resources and relatability and keeping it real.
Speaker 2:
Events. There's, like Charles said, there's but so much that we can do in the time that we have this, but so much that we can say. So we are definitely going to be curating events to bring our community in closer and have some powerhouse people in the space as well to help us give you guys more resource to create the life that you envision for yourself. And, as we've done before we in 2023, we will continue to highlight businesses, people that we feel are trailblazers in the business owned entrepreneurship space, so that that can be inspiring for current entrepreneurs, future business owners. But everything that we do is going to be to improve your quality of life, to improve yourself, to improve your family, to improve your relationships and to overall, just improve and foster the life that you see for yourself. So in 2024, we pull in out all the stops. We're going to be working super hard behind the scenes to bring this vision to life for our community that we're creating. Why?
Speaker 1:
That we've created. Why? Because we're going deeper into self, absolutely Deeper into self. We're going deeper, y'all, yep, we're going to make it happen.
Speaker 2:
I'm excited for it. I'm excited, I'm super excited. So take us out of here. Thank you, guys, for tapping in to this off the cuff episode, where we wanted to keep it real with y'all. Continue to follow, like and support. Yes, continue to share our content. Talk about us, keep the buzz going because we are one of a kind, for sure. One of a kind.
Speaker 1:
For sure.
Speaker 2:
Five stars, one of a kind podcast spreading positivity out into the world.
Speaker 1:
So 2024, my only theme, my theme for 2024, everything that I do will be unto God. I'm not here to entertain you. I'm not here for you to like me. I'm not here for you to want to get to know me.
Speaker 2:
I am here to do everything unto God, so get ready for some uncomfortable conversations. We love y'all. Big charge. See you in 2024. God energy Yoko Otsuhці conditioning.
