Big Dog Talk w/ Charles and Shayvon
Awaken your Inner God that guides us daily. Unlearn, Relearn, Deal, Heal, Rebuild A Better Self. Tap Into Your True Authentic Power #GodInnergy
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Big Dog Talk w/ Charles and Shayvon
S3 Ep: 5 How Anxiety Attacks Crippled Me But Didn’t Stop Me
Ever felt like you're climbing a mountain with no end in sight? In this episode of the Big Dog Talk podcast, Big Charles shares a powerful story about a coaching client who hit a roadblock with a crucial homework assignment, setting the stage for a raw conversation on the power of clear goals and accountability. Together with Big Shay, we dive into the importance of authenticity and transparency in our on-air personas, while tackling the personal health battles we face, including severe anxiety attacks that landed Big Shea in the emergency room.
When it comes to managing mental health and medications, the journey is anything but straightforward. Big Shay gets real about navigating the tricky terrain of short-term goals, medication side effects, and family dynamics. We shed light on the importance of open communication with partners, self-evaluation, and the gradual weaning process. From emotional connections to weight gain, this chapter provides a candid look at the ripple effects of mental health treatment on everyday life and relationships, emphasizing the need for balance and support.
Achieving goals isn’t just about tackling the big stuff; it’s about the small, daily habits that add up. Our candid discussion ranges from practical health tips like exercise and meditative walks to broader life goals in finance, career, and spirituality. We underscore the value of having a mentor or coach to guide you, and how writing down your goals can turn hope into action. Join us for an episode packed with heartfelt advice, intellectual conversation, and our deep appreciation for you, our listeners. Tune in and let's navigate this journey together.
I had a virtual student that I coach, okay, and this gentleman he wanted to have. Let's just say, his goal was to get in shape, his goal was to get a job, his goal was to regain visitation rights with his children. Okay, he had all of these goals. Okay, right. So, and I just want you to follow me, he had all of these goals. So I had him to write down his schedule every time that he woke up in the morning. Okay, I need to know what you do from the morning time until it's time to go to bed. Right, that was his homework assignment, mm-hmm. So he came back to me the following time, the second time, the second meeting, with nothing written down. Welcome back to another episode of the big dog talk podcast. It's me, the one and only. Big Charles, your lunch is ready.
Speaker 2:Also known as the Big Cowboy. What's up y'all? It's your girl, big Shea, and I'm definitely back in the building.
Speaker 1:Why you always serious though you always have like this serious, you don't want to be goofy like me.
Speaker 2:That's your personality. Don't try to put that up on me.
Speaker 1:That is, but you seem like annoyed with it. You want to get serious on the mic. What's up y'all? It's me, your girl, shay. Be silly with me. Sometimes Be goofy.
Speaker 2:Don't act like I don't be silly with you sometimes. Don't do that.
Speaker 1:But I know, on the mic though, you don't want nobody to see your silly side. That's definitely not true. Okay, all right, so what's?
Speaker 2:true, then Tell me what's true. What's true is I'm showing up authentically as myself today. This is the space that I'm in today. Okay, so this is how I'm showing up. All right, I don't have a stage persona, so you're saying I do? Nah, you asked me the question, so I'm answering for myself.
Speaker 1:So I'm insinuating.
Speaker 2:You are definitely insinuating something that I did not say.
Speaker 1:Oh, so I interpreted it the wrong way.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I was speaking for self.
Speaker 1:Oh See, that's how miscommunication happens. That's how stuff gets started. You were having direct communication with me and I comprehended something completely different. Why, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Why I don't know, why I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I felt like I was being judged from being goofy.
Speaker 2:You've been doing that a lot lately, feeling like you are being judged by certain things that you do. Nobody's judging you, okay.
Speaker 1:Now, I've been doing that lately. Okay, what's up y'all? Welcome back to another episode. Did y'all miss us, or what Huh Do?
Speaker 2:you like the hat.
Speaker 1:What's happening? Talk to me. Do you like the hat? I love the hat.
Speaker 2:I like the hat. It's growing on me. I love the hat, Initially half of a thumb, but now it's growing on me. But anyway, how you feeling I'm good. We got a lot going on. We got a lot going on, so that's why, I'm like yo, it's busy right now. You know, I'm just out here trying to lose weight and everybody just got us outside Right.
Speaker 1:Trying to lose weight, you trying to lose weight, I'm trying to get in my best shape and the demands for Big Dog Talk podcast is demanding.
Speaker 2:I can't go outside and lose weight, but I'm doing it. I'm doing it, it's happening. The two can exist at the same time.
Speaker 1:We got goals we trying to achieve with the podcast. We got personal goals that we trying to achieve with our health. It's a lot. We got goals y'all and y'all making us be outside.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh my God, yeah, yeah, goals, y'all, and and y'all, making us be outside, yeah, oh my god, yeah, yeah, we got some big buckets that we, you know we trying to attack right now from a from a goal perspective. Speak for me you get your turn, but for me, I'm trying to get back to the healthiest version of myself.
Speaker 1:So, as a coach, though, can you not use the word trying? I am Thank you Getting back. Thank you, either you do or you don't.
Speaker 2:To the healthiest version of myself. That sound more powerful? Did it feel more powerful? I am getting back to the healthiest version of myself. Talk that, talk. Your girl had a hiccup. You know for a couple of what? Maybe about six months, six, seven months. You want to?
Speaker 1:talk about it or no. Little hiccup.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't mind. I mean, it's a part of my story, All right. Well, talk about it, you know. So I had a nice little battle with anxiety attacks that started in December, sent me to the emergency room two times. They didn't know what was going on with Big Shea.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:They thought I was having a stroke, a seizure, you name it. That was scary. They thought like it was really something to that degree. So the second time I went, big Charles was like yo we going to a whole nother hospital, I don't want to go to this location, take my wife to this location via ambulatory services. So we get to that location and I get a totally different doctor. And that doctor immediately was like oh, you're having severe panic anxiety attacks, which is actually like crippling your mind, your speech, your body, your functionality, because it was paralyzing me, your speech, your body, your functionality, because it was paralyzing me. So when I would have these intense anxiety attacks, it would paralyze my body and my speech. So it could look like a lot of the things that they thought. But it turned. It looked like a stroke. It looked like a stroke but I couldn't walk. But it turned out that I was suffering from severe panic slash anxiety attacks.
Speaker 1:You were losing verbiage. You wasn't able to communicate In the moment, yep.
Speaker 2:And so once they found that out, they put me on some medication to kind of help to reset you know, my neuroplasticity, you know just help to calm down my nervous system. They wanted me to take it for about a year. But baby, you had a goal, baby, I had a goal. I told Big Charles. I said I'm going to go ahead and take this for about six months.
Speaker 1:You know, because it was- Working closely with the doctor, though.
Speaker 2:Working closely with the doctor, doing what I'm supposed to do, seeing improvement. Anxiety attacks were less to none within maybe 14 days, seeing major improvement. But one of the side effects that, as I continued to take it, that I noticed was it caused weight gain. So I was like, all right, bet I'm feeling better. Not only is the medication helping me, but I'm also implementing tools in my life, back in my life, that just helped me regulate my own nervous system.
Speaker 1:And this is longer than 14 days, by the way.
Speaker 2:This is longer than 14 days. This is now we at like month four or month five. Yeah, so at that point I was like you know what? When I spoke, when I talked to my doctor, he said when you ready, when you feel like you're ready to stop, you have to wean yourself off the right way. You drop down the dosage for about a week or so and then the next week you can stop taking it. You want to give your body time to catch up, but the fact that the medicine is no longer in your body at that amount that you were taking. So I did that. I had a goal. I did that.
Speaker 2:By the fifth and a half month I started weaning myself off of the medication. You know, making sure that you know, when the medication is completely out of my body, that I'm able to manage my nervous system, manage my thoughts. You know, manage feeling overstimulated. How to manage all of that. What do I need to do during the day, at the end of the day, in the beginning of the day, in order to make sure that I set myself up for success? And so today I sit here off of the medication for about a month and a half and seven pounds down. Let's go, and I'm still outside.
Speaker 1:Goals. That's goals. That's the main focus right now. Goals you said a goal I did. You work really close, like you were very. That was a tough time, very, and shout out to you for even speaking about it, because that was rough.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. I had to miss work. Yeah, we had to take care of you. We had to take care of you, we had to take care of mom.
Speaker 1:It was rough. The whole house was destroyed. My parents was worried about if mom was going to be okay. Deep down, I'm worried about if you were going to be okay, but I had a knowing that we were going to. We go through everything and come out stronger Right At the end of the battle, but that was crazy. Yeah, and shout out to you being able to talk about it Anxiety. You know how many people suffer from anxiety.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We didn't even plan to talk about this.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:This is not scripted, no, you know. So this is the first time I think you even spoke about it since it happened.
Speaker 2:This is the first time that I've spoken out loud about it outside of. You know, family Right, you know, you know specifically, and I'm, I'm, I'm happy to do that because, one, I feel like it's a part of my story, it's part of my journey, but, two, I achieved the goal for myself and I'm still achieving a goal as it relates to what that moment in my life, what the effects, what what the effects of that moment in my life was for me, mentally and also physically.
Speaker 1:So, when you set that goal, could you see yourself like, healthy still, like in the future, although, like in your current state of mind, when you begin taking this medication? Right, you know I'm painting a picture. Yes, when you first started taking medication, honestly, you're like, oh no, I don't want to be on this. How did you still manage to set a goal, to want to wean yourself off.
Speaker 2:Well, the moment that I was told that I needed to take this medication in order to just, you know, recalibrate my nervous system, I was like I don't want to take that. I was like, and I'm definitely not taking it for a year. I remember telling the doctor that I'm not taking that for a year and I told you, I'm not taking that for a year. I said, but I know that obviously I need help, you know. So I kind of I had to become submissive to the fact that this was something in my life that I had control over. But I really didn't have a whole lot of control over at the moment.
Speaker 2:So, thinking about the big picture, I had to take the medicine in order to get better. But I knew the moment that I started taking the medicine that it was going to be a shortterm goal for me. I knew that, you know, there were going to be side effects. I was going to deal with that. I was going to do my absolute best to still show up in the world, the best that I could at the time, but that this wasn't something that I was okay with doing for longer than six months. I wanted to regain control back over the things that I could control.
Speaker 1:I guess I'm asking, though, because we're talking about goals.
Speaker 2:We're talking about goals.
Speaker 1:And because you had a goal, it gave you motivation to keep going.
Speaker 2:Exactly because I knew that that wasn't like there was no period there, there was a comma In this month. This is what I'm going to, exactly Because I knew that that wasn't like there was no period there, there was a comma In this month. This is what I'm going to do, so I just had I knew. So I knew that the first, the first goal for me, was take the medication. See how you feel. That's most important. See how you feel so that you can continue to be an active and strong member for your family.
Speaker 1:You were working really closely with the doctor as well, very closely, like look over that you were sending emails you got, having meetings, all the things the entire time, yep, yep.
Speaker 2:Then the second, the second part of you know the plan was okay, I'm feeling better, so it is working Right. I know that there are some side effects. I started to see those things resonate. I'm like, but I can't stop now because I'm not giving the medication the time that it needs to make me better. So I said okay. I re-evaluated at about month four. I did a self. I did a self-evaluation, okay, cause some days I might forget it you know what I mean To take it. I'm like, oh, okay, I felt good. I forgot, forgot to take it this day, but I still feel really good. So when month five hit, I said okay, we only 30 days away from the goal that I gave myself to be off of this medication. So now it's time to start the weaning process. Right now. It's time for me to start using all the tools that I've gained along the way and get to the finish line with this part of my life, right and so that. So that's what I did here.
Speaker 1:You are dropping weight now. Yep, dropping weight. That's crazy, because we're speaking of goals. Yep, and shout out to you for-.
Speaker 2:That's full transparency.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's full transparency.
Speaker 2:I have nothing to lose, right, only something to gain that you know may help somebody else that's listening, that suffers from anxiety, want to lose weight, a combination of the two. Maybe they're gaining weight due to depression, anxiety, like all sorts of mental. That's a whole topic. It's a whole another topic.
Speaker 1:We didn't even come here for this. Nope, that anxiety, even the medication that you were taking. We might as well just stay right here. Yeah, um it, it was affecting the family. Yeah. As far as like, just some things you just couldn't do, like as far as like the emotional connection, it wasn't there. Like you said you were gaining weight. I really didn't put two and two together, I just thought, you know, I didn't even, I just didn't, I didn't know that you were gaining weight until you mentioned that you were gaining weight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, because when I told you, I said, babe, do you see all this weight I'm gaining? And you were just kind of like, no, not really. And I'm like, oh my God. But what that was doing was creating a whole other issue around self-esteem and how you, how it impacts you really being able to show up as your true self, because now it's creating a layer of insecurity that you didn't have before, the initial crisis that's crazy, because now that you mention that, I just remember your self-esteem.
Speaker 1:Now, this is hindsight.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, because I was telling you like baby, you're not being affectionate with me, but I'm not considering the medication. Yeah, like baby, I need you to touch me, I need you to rub on me, rub on my skin. Yeah, you know, but I'm not considering the medication. Right, when you stopped taking that medication and you was going through like detox and it wound up getting out your system, I'm like, oh, she rubbing on me a lot, yeah, but I wasn't considering the medication until you and I spoke about it.
Speaker 2:Right, that was right, you know because, I mean, you got to think about it. If a medication is like blocking one area of your brain, there's other areas that are going to be impacted, Like your ability, like you said, to even be like affectionate or that emotional connection with people. It kind of it did get shut off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was starting to, it was starting to be a problem in our relationship. Yeah, and you and I had like a real conversation. We were a real life conversation behind it and then you brought some more understanding to me. But I had to have the courage to bring the conversation up Right. And then, when we brought the conversation up, I remember talking to you in the car about it and I was like are you okay? Like what? Like? Are you okay with me saying what I'm saying to you? Yeah, he's like. No, I am, I'm just processing it, I'm digesting it Right, because it had me feeling like you didn't like me anymore. This is a few months ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was the peak of like. That was the. I had been taking it for about four months and that was the peak of it. I'm like what you don't like.
Speaker 2:And so what happened for me is like nothing about what I was doing had changed, right nothing. I was eating the same, I was going to the gym five times a week, I was doing everything the same, but I couldn'tging out. I'm like, oh my God, maybe I'm eating too much rice, too much salad, like I was just making up stuff, you know what I mean. And then I realized like it also, like those sorts of medication will cause, like bloating and protruding in your abdomen area. And that's when I was like, okay, I'm nobody skinny girl, but I also, that's not a huge area of focus for me outside of when we have babies, that lower section, huge area of focus for me outside of when we have babies, that lower section. But as far as, like you know, protruding out, like that, I'm like that's not how my body, you know, is made up at this point in my life. So that's when it dawned on me, late in the game, that, oh, it's the medication that's making the bloating happen in my stomach area.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about, let's go back there, let's talk about the anxiety, if you don't mind me. Yeah, because I know there are a lot of people that suffer from anxiety attacks.
Speaker 2:And it goes very underdiagnosed and undertreated.
Speaker 1:You know, when we first experienced, well, this last time, when we first, when we experienced the anxiety attack, this is something that I've never seen before like this Right, like manifest in a way it did. It was happening almost every day. Yeah, and life was good for us. Yeah, we're having a good time, the home front was good, we're not arguing anything. Life was good. And I just know, out of the blue, here come these anxiety attacks and it was putting you in a place where I've never seen you that crippled. Yeah, that was another thing, that was crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and so like just to speak on the topic of anxiety. It's very crippling of anxiety. It's very crippling, you know, because if you remember, the second time I had to go to the hospital, I refused to drive for 30 days, yeah, so that in itself put like a different space within our home. Because I wouldn't drive, I wouldn't drive the kids to school, I wouldn't drive to the store, I wouldn't drive myself anywhere, because driving was when that first one had happened and I called you. So it was very triggering to drive.
Speaker 1:So when she say driving is when the first one happened. My wife was having anxiety attacks while she was driving in her car. Yeah, she was taking our kids to school and it would cripple her where she couldn't breathe. It was really disrupting your driving, really major. You have to pull over on the side of the road. So I'm just saying that to tell the story.
Speaker 2:Right, but go ahead, I'm sorry I was saying that to say that anxiety and panic attacks they are crippling and I think that you know, on this topic, people don't realize that because I don't think everybody will experience anxiety attacks in the world. Everybody doesn't have them or to the level that I just recently had to overcome having anxiety attacks. But they can be crippling. They can change the quality of your life. They can change the dynamic of your family. They can change from you having the ability to do things that you normally did without any problem, like driving. Our life changed drastically. It changed a lot. It changed a lot.
Speaker 1:So let me ask you this and thank you for being transparent about it. I know we didn't discuss this topic Right. What are some things that you do now to manage your anxiety in order to not be dependent on medication? Not be dependent on medication? What are some things that you, what are some practices that you do constantly that helps you have a balance?
Speaker 2:So one of the things that going through this whole anxiety disorder thing did for me was it gave me a new level of self-awareness.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So I now know when I am being overstimulated. Or I am overstimulated, right, I can identify it inside my body and I go okay, I'm overstimulated right now.
Speaker 2:You actually communicated to me. I say it that way. You say it out loud, you get it out of your body. I'm overstimulated right now. Give me a second. I'm feeling a little bit over stimulated. I need a little bit of time, right. So I know how to kind of like take a break, step away and kind of reset reset my energy and my thought process takes five to seven minutes to do that.
Speaker 2:Wow, five to seven minutes to do that. And also communicating it, because I know a lot of what my kryptonite was, um then was that I would just internalize everything. So, instead of saying I'm feeling overstimulated or I'm feeling frustrated or I feel like I have a lot of stuff on my plate right now, I would just internalize and just keep going, just keep going, just keep going like an energizer buddy. You got things to do, bunny, just keep going, you know. And so now that, in conjunction with what I was already doing going to the gym, taking meditative walks, you know, um, eating healthy, eating healthy, but also being able to decompress appropriately at the end of the Like, I think the family really respects when I say I need a minute. There's been a lot going on today and I just need a minute, but here's the thing though, like.
Speaker 2:I set that boundary for myself.
Speaker 1:I like. When you said I became more, you said self-aware, absolutely Like that it demanded you to. Absolutely, it demanded you to.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Because of my goal.
Speaker 1:Because of your goal, which was To get off of that medication. So before, did you not realize that you were internalizing everything? Or did you not realize that you internalizing everything was damaging?
Speaker 2:So I realized that I was internalizing everything, but it was also a coping mechanism that I just developed over life and in my opinion it was working. Until it didn't, it was working.
Speaker 1:You know, it's funny that you say that because you've probably been doing it for a long time but they say that the older that we get, whatever we use as an unhealthy coping mechanism to manage our mental space, our mental health, it usually, it usually exposes itself, the older that we get.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so if we don't deal with something in a healthy way, if we don't, if we don't since we're not don't deal with something in a healthy way, if we don't since we're not taught to deal with something in a healthy way in our younger, younger ages, and we continue to do it the same way over and over and over again, although we think that we are handling it the correct way, it will eventually expose itself to older that we get. That's why more people are having like, like mental health issues because we learn the wrong survival tools to cope with things Like, for instance, your anxiety, basically stimulated because you were always internalizing everything Mm-hmm, you know, and you would use it to. Honestly, it would also even give you energy to stay busy. I would use it to fuel me. You wouldn't sit still at all. Now I watch you sitting still, you taking breaks Like let me calm down, I'm going to sleep, yes.
Speaker 2:Yep, that's another thing, like I know I've always watched you really focus on I need to go to bed at this time. I need to go to bed at this time. That's something that I adapted to Like I need to make sure that I'm getting like the proper amount of sleep, because what I would do was, because I'm overstimulated throughout the day, the way to end my like evening, like right before it's time to go to sleep, is I would prefer to pick up my phone and like scroll on social media, and that's one of the worst things that you can do, because you're not even you're still feeding your brain activity when it needs to decompress, you know. So 10 o'clock is my bedtime, you know?
Speaker 1:lights out, we're going you're going to bed, I'm going to bed. Both can be watching tv. You turn it off. I'm going to bed. We do the same thing turn.
Speaker 2:That's time to go to bed right, but it's always been a high focus for you, but something that you just said as it relates to aging. So when I was right in the thick of it with dealing with anxiety and taking the medication, I started to do a little bit of research. And a lot of women, as they reach their mid-40s, the chemicals in our bodies start to change and some women do experience more issues with anxiety as they get closer to menopause as well. Oh, wow, so that's a stat that I discovered when I was doing some research. Based on what you said. We get older, our bodies change internally. The things that we did when we were younger to cope and to deal with life and to get through life Don't work no more.
Speaker 1:The body doesn't have the capacity to handle that gotta figure so many things going on you know what I love about it, though what I do love about it wasn't a good experience. What I love about it, though, is that your internal world was speaking to you the entire time. Yep said hey, this is not right. Yep, if you don't change it, we're going to have a breakdown, or I could have a stroke or you can have a stroke.
Speaker 2:There are people out here having strokes because they don't listen to their body's cues and signals and their body's language.
Speaker 1:This is good, because we started off talking about goals, but now we're talking about just being self-aware and using your body as a guide, which is one of the major foundations that we we've built about. This podcast, like our internal world, speaks to us Exactly Become more intuitive with self.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And become more aware. So, ok, sheesh, I wasn't planning on having this episode today. Anxiety. So we say that we use exercise and you became more. You became more self-aware.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exercising, yeah, meditate, meditative walks yeah, eating healthy yeah, getting it out yeah, verbalizing it yeah, um, and I can you know on that note, I can still tell that when I'm snappy it's because I'm over simulated.
Speaker 1:So why you don't admit that? That's a whole nother conversation. I just did, yeah, but don't admit it on a podcast.
Speaker 2:No, I'm telling you, don't admit it.
Speaker 1:on a podcast, because at home, at home, maybe I just got the revelation At home. I'm like we got to pause on that. No, at home we. Matter of fact, we went out to eat the other day.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, Don't start that stuff.
Speaker 1:No, let me tell you so, since you just said that you realize that you're getting snappy, we goes to a restaurant and we're having a family day, because we have that a few times a month. Yeah, to make sure that we are connected. Right, I'm happy about listen, I just got my paycheck. I'm happy about, okay, I'm going to take all of the kids out because I got the money and I'm going to bang a car into my financial goals. I'm going to spend this amount of money on y'all aggravating asses Tonight Tonight. So I'm happy about taking the family out. We're going to a new restaurant that my wife and I discovered. We're taking the kids out. Now we get to the restaurant, the kids are happy.
Speaker 1:I'm happy, wife is snappy. My daughter looking at me, giving me eye signals. I'm actually quiet, yes, because my wife is quiet. I'm looking at my wife. I'm like you seem a little bit uptight. I am not uptight. You need to stop. So, instead of me engaging into the argument, I'm just like rubbing my head. I'm still trying to engage in my kids because I don't want them to have a bad time. I don't want mommy to ruin this moment. Right, not mommy ruin the moment, okay, usually the kids ruining the moment they do, but mommy was having a fit and I didn't know where this was coming from. But also, since we're talking about like menopause and anxiety, I also read that this is like you said, the snappiness is part of it. This is crazy. Yeah, I could have really taken that personally, though, and this could have really turned out to be a hard. That could have been a that could have turned out to like a nasty argument, because I took pride in getting our family out of a family, because it was your idea, yeah.
Speaker 1:Having a good time, everybody having a good time but mommy. But instead let a few minutes go by. Mommy was still being snappy, I don't know what made me do it, but I just got up from the table, came over and just kissed you. Listen, listen, my wife was winning the battle. I just wanted to win the war. The goal was the goal. Back to having a goal. The goal was For us to have a good family night, and it was achieved. And it was achieved. It was achieved. But I'm glad that you brought that up because I'm pretty sure a lot of women are listening to this episode. A lot of men speaking on anxiety, yeah, and then speaking on menopause, yeah, the body, and then speaking on menopause, the body changing you, not being able to use past coping mechanisms. You know what? I'm forced to go find some healthy tools. You got to To adjust to this new way of living. This is crazy.
Speaker 2:And what I am enjoying right now is this is a part of the weight loss goal. I like things that stretch me, you know. So it's not my first or second rodeo at losing weight. However, it's still reconditioning my mind and I feel, and I can feel me really getting back to me, if that makes sense I like the me getting back to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, like that because you got to keep in mind, like, if you, if anybody's taking any sort of medication for anything and it's something that you know it's temporary, it still stays in your body for some time. You know what I mean and I, I officially it's been what? Maybe six weeks since I haven't taken any of the medication. So it's still the body and the mind and the brain is still going through a detoxifying method.
Speaker 1:So what I like, though, is what I like about the conversation, and you're talking about medication and your goals and detoxing what I like about. So, first of all, I just want to put this on the table that we're not telling anyone to not take their medicine Absolutely not. If you listen to Big Shea, she worked closely with her doctor. She gave her doctor goals. The doctor aided her with how to work carefully, in a healthy way, to achieve your goals. Absolutely, the doctor was your coach. Yep, it's crazy when we're talking about goal setting. I you know, so you know it's crazy. We'll be talking about goal setting. I remember, and you can tell me if I'm off topic. Okay, I was having a.
Speaker 1:We're going to get back to the anxiety, but right now I also want to talk about goals, because I know there are other people that are listening that have other goals. Their goal may not be anxiety. That's a health goal. That's a health goal Exactly. They may have a financial goal. That's right. Another person may have a goal to get this certain type of job A career goal, career goal, spiritual goal, exactly Financial goal.
Speaker 1:So, when you're talking about goals, I had a virtual student that I coach. Okay, and this gentleman he wanted to have, let's just say, his goal was to get in shape, his goal was to get a job, his goal was to regain visitation rights with his children. Okay, he had all of these goals. Okay, right so, and I just want you to follow me. He had all of these goals. Okay, right so, and I just want you to follow me. He had all of these goals, so I had down, I had him to write down his schedule every time that he woke up in the morning. Okay, I need to know what you do from the morning time until it's time to go to bed. Right, that was his homework assignment.
Speaker 1:So he came back to me the following time, the second time, the second time, the second meeting, with nothing written down. And but he have a goal in his mind to achieve. Now, a goal in your mind to achieve without something being written down. That's just like a hope of a dream. You know what I mean. It's a fantasy, you're living in a fantasy.
Speaker 2:It's a fantasy, correct.
Speaker 1:So I said listen, you paid me to coach you. Either you're going to listen to and apply the tools that I give you, because you don't know you reached out to me because you don't have the tools to get you to your goals. Right, you know. So either you're going to go through this process and follow, go through it, or we're going to end it and follow, go through it, or we're going to end it. I already got your money, it's right, you know so, fast forward, write down everything that you do from morning to night time. So he came back with everything. I want to know everything that I that you do. He came back the third time at seven o'clock. I woke up, um, I went out, went and ate, ate me some food. I also laid down and watched TV for about two hours, got up, made me some lunch, walked to my homeboy house. We went and talked. We talked for about two hours. Now it's like five in the evening. And follow me, I'm painting a picture. I'm with you. It's five in the evening. I'm going to go blow some trees, right, quick talk to my other partners.
Speaker 1:9, 7, 30, 9 o'clock, I'm in the bed. Do it all over again. So while he's talking to me and saying his goals, I'm writing it down on my poster, okay, and this is a virtual class, right. Okay, now this is a virtual, a virtual class, right. I'm writing down his goal right on the on the whiteboard, right, and I'm writing down his action plan to achieve his goal, right? So after I wrote down his goals and I wrote down his action plan, he get up at this time. He do this. He go down, go by his, he go lay in a bed for three hours and he'd go by his homeboys for another two hours and he'd do this. Then I just asked him does this sound like a person that want to accomplish goals Right, based off of your habits?
Speaker 1:your behaviors your behaviors, your everyday choices. Yeah, does this sound like a person that's going to accomplish these goals?
Speaker 2:Real talk.
Speaker 1:And the reason I'm bringing. I brought that story into the picture because in at the beginning, you mentioned that you had a goal. Yeah, you had a vision of seeing yourself off of the medication, getting back to the old you, a better version of you. Actually, you're more, you're more aware now Yep, better version. So I'm talking to the listeners If you are a person that has a goal, it's time to dial that in, it's time to write it on paper. Because I say this, I believe this when you have a vision, when you have goals, it gives you a sense of direction, absolutely. And when you have a sense of direction, it demands progression because it pulls you. You're motivated, you're motivated, you're inspired. Yeah, in fact, when you say motivated, what's crazy is because once I showed my client his strategy and what he was doing and we had to reevaluate some things and we had to write down some goals, some strategies that was going to help him, step-by-step, accomplish his goals. When he started following that plan, his confidence started becoming Exactly Because he had low self-esteem, he struggled with managing his bipolarism, bipolar disorder, you know, and before all of that he was just, he was letting, allowing life to control him.
Speaker 1:I did not allow anything. I did not allow him to use anything as an excuse. Right, right, we're going to go. We're going to use whatever you have in front of you and we're going to work towards it and you're going to get better Every day. He start waking up at a certain time. This time it was. Every time was counted for. Yeah, he had no room to go hang out with the homies we call that productivity.
Speaker 2:We call that why a goal is important. It drives productivity. It helps you create healthy habits it boosts your self-esteemesteem, you're motivated.
Speaker 1:It helps manage your mental health. It absolutely does. It helps you direct your energy in the right places. That is even building you. Yep, like I said earlier, progression demands. Yeah, direction demands progression. Right, and everyone that it's when you're going in a sense, when you have a sense of direction for your life. It gives you a good feeling. It does.
Speaker 2:Now, let's just keep it real. Everybody feels like when they're setting a goal, it's going to be linear, I'm going to go from here to here, it's just a straight line. But no, there's loops, there's ups, there's downs, there's sideways. Go back, refocusing. You have to refocus, you have to. You don't change the goal, you readjust the plan and the strategy. That's like me. I wanted to stop. Honestly. That's like me. I wanted to stop. Honestly, I wanted to stop taking that medication.
Speaker 1:ASAP, two months in. But I was like, no, you can't do that, we're not doing that, we're going. We're going to cause, based off of listening to the doctors, exactly, they said that it takes a certain amount of time for even the brain the brain, based off of their homework, that they studied their expertise it takes a certain amount of time for the brain to even, like, rebuild itself. So, no, we need you to take this medication so that you can become less anxious In the meantime.
Speaker 1:In the meantime, how can we work together to accomplish the goal? Yep, and here's the thing, though. We talk about, like goal setting. We talked about anxiety, but do you think it's necessary because you also have a vision board? I do have a vision calendar.
Speaker 2:I do have a calendar you know how you know.
Speaker 1:You knew that you want to. You wanted how you know. You knew that you want to. You wanted to be off of medication. You knew that you wanted to lose weight. You knew that you wanted to become a better person. You had all of this written down. Now let me ask you do you feel like writing your goals down on a piece of paper? Does that really matter?
Speaker 2:100% 100% it matters.
Speaker 2:It matters here 100%, 100% it matters. It matters. Here's the thing when you take that step and that action to write your goals down and the action items that follow, now you've created some intentionality behind it. Oh, I like that. Now you've created some concrete evidence of what you need to hold yourself accountable to. I like that. Okay, now we all have the liberty to put something on a calendar right here and it might not happen. This is what I'm saying. This is why it goes in loops. It goes across, it goes back, up and down. However, do not change the goal. Change the plan.
Speaker 1:Change the plan.
Speaker 2:And by writing it down, it's a higher level of accountability that you put on self to achieve the things by when you need to achieve them.
Speaker 1:So it's some notes that I wrote down, right, yep. So setting goals is important for several reasons, it says here. Direction and focus is one. Important for several reasons, it says here direction and focus is one. Goals provide a clear direction and help you focus your efforts on specific objectives, making it easier to channel your energy and resources effectively. There you go. Number two motivation. Having clear goals can highly, can be highly motivating, giving you something to strive for in a sense of purpose. Yup. Number three measurable progress. There you go, right, there you go. Goals allow you to measure progress and achievements, helping you to stay on track and recognize milestones along the way.
Speaker 2:One thing for certain that we do is we're going to celebrate them small wins.
Speaker 1:You have to celebrate the small wins.
Speaker 2:You have to we have to.
Speaker 1:Another thing goals do Accountability. They make you accountable. Setting goals make you accountable to yourself and others, encouraging you to take responsibility for your actions and your decisions. You are in control of your life. That's what.
Speaker 2:I said If you choose not to do that thing that you put on there to do in that time frame, that's on you.
Speaker 1:Everything is cause and effect. Everything, every choice that you make is counted for. You understand Big time. Another reason why it's good to write your goals on paper Personal growth. Pursuing goals can lead to personal growth and development, as if often involves overcoming challenges and learning new skills and gaining new experiences. There you go, writing down your goals. I've done my homework. This time, I don't want to know.
Speaker 1:Listen After today, after today, after today, because we share these things. I mean, it gives you a sense of accomplishment. It does. It gives you, it allows you to prioritize what's important and what's not important in your life. Right, you understand. Right, and at the end of the day, you're an entrepreneur. You understand, right, and at the end of the day, you're an entrepreneur. Right, you know, we've built the Big Dog Talk podcast. The listeners have been watching us grow. Yep, we've been writing everything down on paper Since day one. Since day one, that was my business coach, which is my wife. That's a whole other conversation. Right, you are adamant about writing things down. Looking back over it, are we making the right decisions, the right steps to navigate us to the big bigger picture? Right, are we staying on track or do we need to refocus?
Speaker 2:What do we need to do?
Speaker 1:Working with the end in mind. What is your goal? Do you have a goal? Yeah, yeah, because at the end of the day, we can talk about our vision. Yep, we can have these fantasies, baby. Without Dreams, all of that ain't nothing but a big fantasy.
Speaker 2:It's funny because when I was in corporate America, there was a slogan that we used to use and it was all related around accountability and we would say hope is not a strategy. I hope I can, let's say, lose 10 pounds in two months. I hope I can find the perfect collaboration to help Big Dog Talk podcast. I hope I can expand my business so that I can service more people in my community. Hope is not a strategy. What is the plan? Wow. What is the plan? What are the action items that you're taking every day, every week and every month to get you to your goal? I believe in that wholeheartedly, wow. I believe in it in relationships. I believe in it with your health, your mental health, finances, your career goals, your entrepreneurship goals. What are you doing every day to get to the goal? It's the little things that add up Details. The little things every day add up to the big goal. Every day you got to do something.
Speaker 1:What did you just say about that? Hope is not a?
Speaker 2:what Strategy? That's not a strategy. Hope is not a plan. It's not a strategy. I hope.
Speaker 1:I hope. I hope somebody bless me with a million dollars. I hope I hope someone give me a new. I hope I get a new job.
Speaker 2:I hope my husband know how I feel right now. I hope I hope I win a lottery. I hope my kids turn out to be successful. I hope no. I hope that's not a strategy and that's like no accountability over your life at all. Wow, no, thank you. Wow, no, thank you. Are we going? No, thank you.
Speaker 1:Listen, listen, listen Big.
Speaker 2:Shea said it. Big Shea said hope is not a strategy. Ooh talk that it's a low level of accountability. If you want to see some results in your life, you got to do something every single day that leads you towards your end goal.
Speaker 1:Oh you dropping gems. You say it's a low level of accountability. So hope is a low level of accountability.
Speaker 2:No Hope is not a strategy. Oh Saying that equals a low level of accountability.
Speaker 1:Oh, so let me fix that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sheesh, yeah, talk, heavy, talk, yeah. And I'm not talking about something that I don't know, right, you know I was opening up the conversation not to get into anxiety or my personal journey with it, but I really wanted to talk about, you know, the importance of having goals to see progress in your life, because you do meet a lot of people and they may have really amazing ideas and you can see the potential in that person. Right, you're like, oh my God, that person has so much potential, yet that person doesn't have a goal or a plan in place to achieve those things. They're just being hopeful Fool, you know, and it's not a strategy and it's not.
Speaker 2:So my goal today, my goal today, was to really encourage our listeners and our viewers to saddle up, dial in, put one foot in front of the other and create yourself a plan. A plan what can I do every single day? What can I do on a weekly basis? What can I do on a monthly basis? Who can I connect with? Who can I talk to to help me reach my end goal? I'm back in school to get to a big goal, that I have A big goal.
Speaker 1:I like when you talk like this. This is sexy.
Speaker 2:That's sexy to me Another turn.
Speaker 1:It's Michael.
Speaker 2:Goals, that was good. Yeah, I mean that, I mean that.
Speaker 1:I mean we live and die by it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, same thing with relationships.
Speaker 1:Everything.
Speaker 2:You want to find that man or that woman. What's your plan, what's your strategy, how you going to go about that. Are you ready? Sheesh, I love my people.
Speaker 1:When it comes to even like finances. I want to have $5,000 in the bank. Well, your ass got to stop spending so much there you go?
Speaker 2:How much are you putting away? Are you budgeting? Are you budgeting? Are you budgeting? How much are you putting away on a weekly, biweekly, monthly basis, so that you can see that your plan is working? Why? Because your savings account is going up. That's measurable. You want to lose weight. What homework have you done? What changes have you made to your diet? How much exercise are you doing? How many calories should you be eating? Because if you do the things in your plan, you're going to see the pounds drop on the scale. So if you work it, it's going to work. Baby listen, if you work it, it's definitely going to work. If you work it, I'm working mine.
Speaker 1:Listen, call to action, set your goals, write down a plan and work the plan.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You understand me, that's three easy things. Yeah, three easy things, yeah, but at the end of the day, until next time.
Speaker 2:Stay motivated.
Speaker 1:And hope is not a strategy.
Speaker 2:I still love y'all. Thank you for sharing in this transparent moment with me today. Hope it's not a strategy. Leave them alone. They heard enough from you today.
Speaker 1:We love y'all Shoot. I like when you talk like that. That's sexy, talk heavy talk dirty to me.
Speaker 2:Hey, golly Intellectual conversation.
Speaker 1:Man, we ain't even say you can follow us on Big Dog Talk Podcast Facebook, tiktok Ciao Instagram. We even left all of the other stuff off because you done took over.
Speaker 2:I love my people.