D.E.M.O. with MO

Owning Your Story

May 16, 2024 Monique Simmons Season 7 Episode 3
Owning Your Story
D.E.M.O. with MO
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D.E.M.O. with MO
Owning Your Story
May 16, 2024 Season 7 Episode 3
Monique Simmons

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Have you ever felt weighed down by the chapters of your life that seem too difficult to accept? I have walked through the fire of shame and guilt, emerging with a story of redemption and hope. Today, I invite you to embark on the journey of owning your story, an experience that intertwines the very fabric of our being with the divine tapestry of Christian faith. As we uncover the struggles that make us who we are, we also discover a path to healing. Through personal anecdotes and shared experiences, this dialogue offers a haven for those ready to face their past with courage and find solace in the truth of their narratives.

The episode unfolds further, illuminating the power of testimony within Christianity, a force that wields the ability to break chains of isolation and silence. Hear how embracing our stories acts as a beacon of spiritual warfare, challenging the enemy's desire to keep us in the dark. Together, we dissect the potency of our personal victories and trials, using them as instruments to uplift and inspire our brothers and sisters in faith. This heart-to-heart concludes with a rally to spread love and positivity, living in a way that honors the immense love God has for each of us. 

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Send us a Text Message.

Have you ever felt weighed down by the chapters of your life that seem too difficult to accept? I have walked through the fire of shame and guilt, emerging with a story of redemption and hope. Today, I invite you to embark on the journey of owning your story, an experience that intertwines the very fabric of our being with the divine tapestry of Christian faith. As we uncover the struggles that make us who we are, we also discover a path to healing. Through personal anecdotes and shared experiences, this dialogue offers a haven for those ready to face their past with courage and find solace in the truth of their narratives.

The episode unfolds further, illuminating the power of testimony within Christianity, a force that wields the ability to break chains of isolation and silence. Hear how embracing our stories acts as a beacon of spiritual warfare, challenging the enemy's desire to keep us in the dark. Together, we dissect the potency of our personal victories and trials, using them as instruments to uplift and inspire our brothers and sisters in faith. This heart-to-heart concludes with a rally to spread love and positivity, living in a way that honors the immense love God has for each of us. 

Support the Show.

Connect with Mo

Become a Subscriber for subscriber only content: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1834533/subscribe

Merchandise: https://demo-with-mo.myspreadshop.com/

Website: https://www.demowithmo.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/demowithmopodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/demowithmo/

Facebook Relationship Community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/548524369897098/?ref=share

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@demowithmo/

Speaker 1:

what's up, guys?

Speaker 1:

Welcome to demo with mo. I'm your host, monique simmons. We'll be discussing dating, engaged and married objectives from a young christian's perspective. Are you guys ready? Let's dive in. Hey, what's up, guys? Welcome to a new episode of Demo with Mo. I am your host, monique Simmons, and on today's episode we're going to be discussing owning your story.

Speaker 1:

The people in my life would consider me to be a very transparent person. I'm sure some have thought to themselves that I may even be too transparent, especially if it's a topic that may involve them in any way, which brings me to today's topic owning your story. So a little business out of the way. Follow me on instagram and demo with mo podcast, and on tiktok and facebook at demo with mo. Remember to rate and review on all podcasting platforms. That helps others find the podcast and to subscribe wherever you listen so that you can get notifications of when new podcast episodes are available. Also, join us over at the Facebook group Dating, engage and Married Objectives on Facebook.

Speaker 1:

I would love to have you join our community and be a part of this in a more intimate way, because, yes, you get to hear these episodes each week, but there you are, part of a community and it's just, it's a beautiful thing to be a part of a community. God did not create us to be alone. He created us to be a part of a community that we have other people, other like-minded people to do life with, and I would love to have you join us over there and be a part of that Facebook community. So join us if you have not already and if you are already a part of that community and you are listening right now. Thank you, thank you. You don't know how much you make a difference over there. You don't know how much I appreciate you. Thank you. I really do appreciate you being a part of that community. Okay, so let's go ahead and jump into today's episode owning your story. Again.

Speaker 1:

A lot of the people in my life consider me to be a transparent person, and I would agree. I would agree, I am very transparent and I have not always been that way. I've been that way for many years now, but I have not always been that way. I learned to become that way in my Christianity, in my walk with God, but I have not always been that way, been that way, but one of the things, even in my transparency, I have not always completely owned my story. I've owned a lot of my story and in my private life, meaning the people that I have close, intimate relationships I've completely owned my story with most of the people in my private life, but publicly, like on my podcast platform, when I'm talking to you guys, in a more large capacity, with people that I don't have a real close, intimate relationship, I guard myself in a lot of ways. I don't always completely own my story and as we get more to today's episode, I'm going to explain it a little bit more. The reason why I say that is because I'm always mindful of what other people who are impacted by my story, how what somebody may think about them, how it will change others' outlook or how they view them. I'm always concerned about that. I'm not concerned about what other people think about me or how they feel about me. I'm concerned about how they think or feel or look about other people who are in my story and I hope this resonates and I hope it hits home and I hope you guys who are listening on the other side and I know everyone may not understand this, but I know there are some people who do Because some people don't own their stories for their own reason.

Speaker 1:

Some people may have shame about their story, so they don't own their story. Some people may have shame about their story, so they don't own their story. Some people may have guilt about their story, so they don't own their story. Shame is I am a bad person. Guilt is I did a bad thing, I made a bad mistake. That's not my issue.

Speaker 1:

We all have different reasons of why we don't own our story. All of us have something. If we're not owning our stories completely. All of us can have different reasons of why we're not owning our stories. That's up to you to figure out why you're not owning your story, and I've learned my reason through working therapy. You know you may not be in therapy. You may be in therapy and this is something that you can unpack and figure out why. And even if you're not in therapy, you can do some soul searching and some unpacking and some journal writing to figure out for yourself what is it that? Why I'm not owning my story? Why am I not sharing? Why am I holding back? Why am I keeping secrets? Why am I not owning my story? And let's unpack owning our stories because somebody may be listening to this and like what is owning my story. So a little Google research, let's see what is owning our story. Okay, so after a little research, I found this and this is the one that stood out to me. And you can look into this as well and find some different things for you, but this is the one that stood out to me.

Speaker 1:

Owning our stories means admitting our failures with grace and forgiveness. It means allowing ourselves to feel pride for the talents and gifts we have to share. Taking ownership of our stories also means sitting with the discomfort of our trauma, fears and losses long enough to heal from our brokenness. Renee Brown on her website, she says owning our stories means acknowledging our feelings and wrestling with the hard emotions. And wrestling with the hard emotions Our fear, anger, aggression, shame and blame. So acknowledging our feelings and wrestling with the hard emotions.

Speaker 1:

So when I think about owning my story, I think about the story of my life and me owning it, me being able to tell it myself, nobody else telling it for me, me not being ashamed of it, good and bad, not me only just telling you the good things, my accomplishments, my talents, my gifts, the things I do well, the things I want you to know about that I feel good about, but also the things that I failed at, the things that I once felt ashamed of, the things that once I hid under a rug or hid in a closet, or the traumas and the things that I'm afraid of, my fears, my failures, the things that I didn't want anyone to know about. Like all of those parts of me, because that's the whole story. When you read a book, you don't only read about the good things. That's not the whole story. That's the good part of the story, that's the nice parts of the story.

Speaker 1:

But what about what we call the negative parts of the story when they fell down? You know they get back up, but what about when they fell down? The bumps and the rolls, the parts that make you cry, the parts that hurt, the parts that rock you a little bit, the parts that make you feel sad, the parts that you don't want anybody to know about, the parts that you may read by yourself, the parts that make you grit your teeth a little bit. What about those parts? I feel like that's what owning your story is. Yeah, you may be ashamed, yeah, you may not want anybody to know about these parts, but this is my whole story and I'm owning it. The good and the bad. This is all the parts of me that made me who I am, the person that you see standing before you, and this story may involve some others.

Speaker 1:

This story may tell you about the people in my life who hurt me. This story may tell you about the people who disappointed me, who failed me, who didn't show up for me, who should have loved me but they didn't, who treated me bad, and it may make them look some kind of way to you. You may look at them differently. Maybe you thought something about them that wasn't true, or maybe you thought something about them that was true, but I can't carry that burden for them. I can't carry that lie for them. I can't carry their shame for them. I can't carry their guilt for them. I can't carry their guilt for them. I can't carry their unforgiveness for them. I can't carry their doubt for them. I can't carry their sin for them. I have my own cross to bear and, man, it's my own cross heavy. I can't carry theirs as well. Carry theirs as well. So for so long it wasn't my own stuff that was keeping me from owning my own story completely and again in my own personal, intimate life. That's why I opened this up and I said for the people in my life who I have personal this up and I said for the people in my life who I have personal, intimate, close relationships with, if you were ever to have a conversation with them, they will tell you.

Speaker 1:

Monique is transparent. Monique probably will tell you her whole life story, but also I only give that to the most intimate people in my life because I will say this Everyone has not earned it from you. You should not be an overshare. You should not give everyone your life story. You should not bare your soul to everyone because everyone has not earned it right from you. People have to earn that from you. That takes trust, that takes some investment, that takes time to cultivate, that that doesn't happen overnight.

Speaker 1:

But also God has given this burden to me to be a witness of what he's done in my life, to share certain things and do certain things. That's different. It's where I'm supposed to be sharing certain things, to be a witness of who he is in my life and what he did in my personal life and in my marriage and in my family, where I'm supposed to share certain things, again, that I'm not always comfortable with it in my flesh. If it was up to me, I don't always want to share and I'm not always comfortable sharing and wanting to bear myself in that way, but he has called me to that. That's different, that's ministry, that's purpose, that's something unique that he's called me to. But again, that's not for you to just be out here sharing with everyone. Everyone has not earned that from you, but we should be fully owning our stories.

Speaker 1:

And if you're not owning your stories, why are you not owning your stories, your stories? Why are you not owning your stories? Are you not owning your stories because of guilt, because of shame, because of fear, because of what people may think about you, because of, like me, you're worried about how other people will look at people that's involved in your stories. And I will say this because of work in therapy, which I've mentioned over the last few podcast episodes. This season will be different because that is not my concern anymore. I'm not concerned about how it would affect people that's involved in those stories anymore. I'm not moving forward with the fear of what other people will think of the people involved or how they will feel about the people that's involved. That's not my burden to bear anymore because it's my story and I'm fully owning my story.

Speaker 1:

And if you've been rocking with me for a while, if you know me personally, if you've been here and you've been listening to my podcast and you kind of know the type of content I put out and you know the kind of character I represent from this podcast, I don't I never portray people in a negative light. I will never put names out. I don't do that and I will never start to do that. So I will never put anybody in a negative light or anything. I've never done that and I will never begin to do that, will never begin to do that. So even in owning my story, even when I begin to share about my personal story and fully owning my story in a whole, 100% capacity and not worrying about how it affects those who may be a part of that story, I still will never it affects those who may be a part of that story. I still will never shine anybody in a negative light. That's not who I am as a person. That's not my character. That's just not who I am and that's never who I will portray myself to be. That's just. I don't move in that way. My goal is always to represent Christ in a positive way and bring glory to him, and that's always who I will be on my platform and on this podcast, and I will never portray it in any other way. So again, in owning your stories, I really hope you begin to fully own your story, no more hiding who you are, no more only sharing the good things about it, but fully owning your whole story, the good and the bad.

Speaker 1:

Revelations 12 and 11 says and they overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony. We like to talk about the blood of the lamb part. We like to say they overcame him by the blood of the lamb. We like to talk about Jesus being saved by Jesus Christ and what he did out on the cross for us. We love that part, but we also overcome by the word of our testimony.

Speaker 1:

A lot of you still feel like you're saved, you're a Christian, I'm walking with God, I'm in church, I'm in with God, I'm in church, I'm in fellowship, I'm doing the things, but something's missing. I feel like something is missing. I just feel like something is missing. And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony.

Speaker 1:

Satan loves nothing more but to keep you in shame, to keep you in darkness. There's things in your life that nobody knows about but you and God and say you know you won't share with nobody, you don't want nobody to know about it. You know you think you're alone. Nobody else is going through it. Nobody else is struggling with it. It's you, because that's the trick of the enemy. Nobody else is dealing with this. Nobody else has these struggles. Nobody comes from this toxic family. Nobody else deals with addiction. Nobody else has pornographic addiction. Nobody else has. Nobody deals with anger. Nobody dealt with abuse. Nobody else had cheating and affairs. Nobody else is struggling with their children. Nobody else. Nobody else. It's just me, nobody else.

Speaker 1:

And there's so many things that I could give you a whole list of things that people, people, even Christians, even people in the church that you see all the time people are dealing with and what Satan wants to do is keep your mouth closed. He wants you to keep your mouth closed. Don't even tell your spouse. Your struggles Show enough, nobody else. Don't tell your spouse. Don't tell the people in church that you fellowship with. Don't tell your friends. Don't tell your spouse. Don't tell the people in church that you fellowship with. Don't tell your friends, don't tell your family, don't tell the people that love you. Keep your mouth closed because ain't nobody else dealing with this. You're not really saved, because why are you still struggling with this stuff? If you're saved, you're not really a Christian. Don't tell nobody this stuff. Just keep on doing it in the dark, won't nobody know about. Just keep going to church, keep, keep doing, keep doing what you're doing, keep you know all this stuff. And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony Testimony Every chance I get.

Speaker 1:

It doesn't matter where I am. If you know me, you know it doesn't matter where I am. It could be in a group chat with my girlfriends in the Sunday school class, with my teenagers that I teach. It could be on Testimony Sunday at church. It can be in the couples ministry with our couples at church that we lead, with our couples at church that we lead. It could be in the podcast group and I'm trying to list every part of community that I'm part of. It can be on this podcast, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1:

I'm telling y'all and it depends on the intimacy of the group that I'm in. It depends on the intimacy and the people that are involved, because I told y'all that's how open I'm going to be, depending on the intimacy, because everybody has not earned it from you. You cannot overshare and share everything with everybody. Everybody has not earned it from you, but it does not matter. I am going to be transparent and open about my struggles and the things that I've overcame, that God has done for me or that I'm going through or working through. Going through or working through again, depending on the setting that I'm in and the intimacy of that group of people in a relationship that I have with them. But I'm never going to keep my mouth closed in any of those settings, ever, ever. I mean never. I want to always be transparent about what I've overcome, what God has done for me or he's currently doing, and I'm working through currently in the season that I'm in right now. And that's because of this word, right here. And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony, because that's how you overcome Satan wants to keep your mouth closed. That's how he keeps you in bondage, in shame, in guilt, and he keeps you in darkness because if you stay that way, you think you're alone. He can keep you by yourself, he can keep you from overcoming. But you overcome. When you open your mouth, you can come out of that stuff and you help other people overcome because they're like oh, monique, be dealing with that.

Speaker 1:

Monique, a ministry leader, monique that has a podcast. Monique that's a wife that has kids, that's been saved for a while. Oh, monique that be smelling and that be happy all the time. Oh, monique that really believe God, that she be going through stuff like that too and she don't mind telling us about it and she not pretending and she not acting like this Christian walk, just all good, like all the time, like she really be struggling, like the enemy be attacking her marriage and she'll be struggling with her kids and in her finances too, and she still believe god and she still and she still have faith and she still can encourage others in the midst of going through like that. That, monique, and that's what I'm saying Own your story, the good and the bad. Own your story.

Speaker 1:

When you can own your story, the good and the bad, nobody can hold anything over your head. When I can't, nobody come tell me anything that I've done, that I ain't told somebody I've done already. Okay, can't nobody come back and say anything that I've done, that I haven't said already in every testimony, in any, especially my close intimate relationships. Oh, y'all trying to go tell my husband something about me. Y'all are because my husband know all that stuff about me, all that that ugly stuff that. Oh, y'all trying to go tell the people at church about me. Oh, they're gonna be like oh, monique, just tell that on a regular sunday, see, because y'all be trying to, y'all be trying to fake it and pretend like y'all got it all together and and and y'all don't be struggling and y'all just everything good, and when you became a Christian, life was just all fine and dead.

Speaker 1:

I'm not one of those. It's all real over here. It's all real. Jesus saved my whole soul and I love him and I thank him for this free gift of grace that he gave me. His son paid it all for me. But I'm going to always be honest and I'm going to always be real and I thank him. But he's continuing the sanctification process and he's and he's making me more like him every day and I thank him. But I thank him for showing me how to be real that I don't ever have to pretend. Every day I wake up with new grace and I can continue to confess Lord, I didn't get it right yesterday, but thank you for a day of new graces and I can fully own my story. Man, I hope this helps somebody, because when I grasped this on my Christian journey, this thing freed me up and it helped me and I was able to enjoy my Christianity.

Speaker 1:

Y'all, it's so many Christians that's so burned down and they so unhappy and they not enjoying their Christian walk because they don't know they they free. They really don't understand how free they are. They think they can earn this that they gotta work for it. But Jesus paid it all. Man. Jesus did it all. All we have to do is believe and accept what he did for us, because we can't earn it, we can't work for it, we don't deserve it. Lord, I thank you. We don't deserve it, we can't earn it and we can't work for it. He did it all and all we have to do is believe and accept what he did and when you get there, you can own your story too.

Speaker 1:

Man, all the raggedy, filthy, dirty, nasty, disgusting you. You begin to realize who you are and understand how holy and righteous he is. You can own your story too, because I know how unworthy I am and how worthy he is. I don't mind owning my story because I know who I was and who I still am. I'm only righteous because he made me righteous. He considers me righteous because his son is, not because I am, because on my own I am not because his son is, not because I am, because on my own I am not man.

Speaker 1:

I was not planning on going there. But when you think about who you are because that's what owning your story is, because you're not only owning the good part, you're owning the bad, the failures, the mess ups, the shortcomings and do. I have so many and I will continue having them. I will continue having them and that's why I'm so transparent about my walk and that's why I want to fully own my story. And even on this podcast and my platform, I'm going to 100% begin to own my story and not be concerned about how others feel, what they think, how it will affect them, the people. That is a part of my story, because I can't be concerned about that. Jesus has called me for a higher purpose and I cannot miss out on what he has called me to do because I'm concerned about other people. I gotta be concerned about the father and his business, not about what men think.

Speaker 1:

So I hope you have enjoyed today's episode and I hope it has blessed you and encouraged you. And, whatever it is your purpose and your journey is because your journey may not be my journey, but if you are a Christian, if you are a believer, you have a purpose and you have a journey. You do, and I hope you don't let anything or anybody get in your way and that you do what Christ has called you to do. And I hope you begin to fully own your story, whatever your story is, because we all have one, no matter who you are, wherever you are. We all have a story and I hope you begin fully owning yours.

Speaker 1:

But do it in love. Don't be out here trying to hurt anybody, disrespect anybody, make anybody look in a negative light or negative way. Do everything to the glory of God. Remember I love you, but God loves you so much more. I'll talk to you next week. Bye, I hope you guys have enjoyed. Follow me on Facebook at Demo with Mo. If you have any questions you would like answered here live on my podcast. Email them to me at demowithmoe at gmailcom. That's D-E-M-O-W-I-T-H-M-O at gmailcom.

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