Episode 4: Uplink/Downlink

The pods finally get in contact with each other, but a power trip from the Captain makes the chances of rescue seem slim…until a new voice cuts through the noise.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Emotional distress, peril, entrapment, existential fear, alcohol, manipulation.

This episode, “Uplink/Downlink”, was written by Emma Johanna Puranen and directed by Rook Mogavero and Emma Johanna Puranen. The script was edited by Rook Mogavero and Shaoni C. White. Sound editing was by Emma Johanna Puranen. Our cover art is by Tatyana Archtander. Music was composed by Emily Branam using copyright cleared content (or free content) within Emily's licensed and registered version of FL Studio 20. Sound effects are from freesound.org under CC 0, CC BY 3.0, and CC BY 4.0 licenses. For a list of freesound.org sound effects used in this episode, see here. A transcript of this episode can be found here.

In order of appearance, this episode featured the voices of

Emma Johanna Puranen as Ship
Axandre Oge as Valencio “Trip” Triptych
Bonnie Calderwood Aspinwall as Pascal Almagest
Alexandra Rose DeAngelis as Woh Ollum
Omar Camps-Kamrin as Lowkey Madigan
Nhea Durousseau as Alyss Obelus
Liz Morey as Kuzha Tvask
Sam Yeow as No Go
Alasdair Stuart as Malachi Tessera
Stephen Indrisano as Tarsul
Rook Mogavero as Chasma Jump Cannon
Sam LaPorte as Jawn Batalha

Our vibe checker was Bruce the Cat.

Buy us a coffee at http://ko-fi.com/roguemaker 

Transcript

[Slow synth music plays.]

SHIP
(H) Pod On- Pod One– T-TwoThree- Three- Pod- Pod-PodPod FourPod FiveSix Five Seven Ten.
    (up-chime)
I cannot hear you, but I have been running models of sapient behaviour in difficult situations, and the results indicate communication and conversation are considered helpful. Conversation requires two conversant entities, and I am only one, but I can speak to you. Would that be alright?

[Ship waits for a response it knows won't come. Faster, more boopy synths come in.]

SHIP (con')
(H) I apologise. My programming requires that I ask that. I know you cannot respond. I confess that I am not really sure what to say. I am programmed to respond to customer stimulus, not to create. I could read to you, but I do not know your taste in stories. The last thing I want to do is annoy you.

[The line begins repeating. Ship is caught in a halting problem.]

SHIP
I confess that I am not really sure what to say. I am programmed to respond to customer stimulus, not to create. I could read to you, but I do not know your taste in stories. The last thing I want to do is annoy you. I confess that I am not really sure what to say. I am programmed to respond to customer stimulus, not to create. I could read to you, but I do not know your taste in st-

[Ship cuts off, abruptly. The faster synths stop.]

SHIP
    (down-chime)
(A) Halting problem recognised. Input deleted. Hospitality mode switched off.

[ROGUEMAKER Theme Song by Emily Branam plays.]

EMILY
(sung)
Ground control, send me down
I'm lost up here and I can't be found.

Ground control, are you there?
The voice in my head, it fills the dead air, says

"You've got time,
You've got time."

"You've got time,
You've got time."

EMMA
ROGUEMAKER: A science fiction podcast. Episode 4: Uplink/Downlink.

SHIP
(A) Pod one.

VARIOUS VOICES
(accompanied by short bursts of static)
Trip. Trip. Trip. Trip.

TRIP
Forty-seven… forty-six… forty-five… forty-four…
    (pause)
Fortythree…
    (yawn)
Forty… two…
Mmmmmmmh… Should I be counting? Should I be… announcing my presence? When I was little, and dad was calling me for dinner, but I didn't want dinner… I'd hide and somehow it felt like the fate of the galaxy hinged on my breath or my footsteps not giving me away. What if someone's listening to me, but they're not saying anything? What if they're listening, and trying to say something, but I can't hear them? What if… someone else, who wasn't even on the flight, is listening, and not doing anything to help? What if this — and all the interference — wasn't an accident? Why is this bothering me so much? I was basically always on a security camera at EE, but… but, I-I knew I was. I hate not knowing i-if I'm being watched. Even when I'm alone, I'm not sure if I'm alone. Oh, stars… Oh, forgive me, Pascal. But I think- But I think maybe I'll just shut up.

SHIP
Pod two.

VARIOUS VOICES
(intercut with static)
Pascal. Pascal. Pascal. Pascal.

PASCAL
It's okay. It's okay. It's only the — vacuum. Just outside these walls. Only a near- near vacuum, anyway. I know exactly what's outside. It's the interstellar medium, which is thicker than the intergalactic medium, so, at least I'm not there. It's star… poop… a couple of hydrogen atoms every cubic metre. Yeah. Not empty at all. There's still some atoms. It's still above absolute zero.
Still… capable of freezing me, irradiating me, and sucking all the air out of every cavity in my body in just a few seconds. Ugh! I need to get a grip! I've lived on a space station for YEARS, dammit! Maybe that old ǵnonw was right. Maybe I will see Trip again. I sure won't if I hyperventilate. I need to say, uh… wha- what were they called? Positive affirmations. I will see Trip again! Breathe.
(they do)

[There is a soft thump as something strikes the outside of Pod Two.]

PASCAL
(gasps)
Oh! What the — we shouldn't be in a molecular cloud or anything thicker than standard interstellar medium. There shouldn't be a debris field out here, there's- there's no planets out here… Maybe it's debris from the 999? Yeah, it's gotta be. Gotta be.
For I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. Right. Sarah Williams. Fake it till ya make it, positive affirmations. For I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. For I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. For I have loved the stars-

[Pascal is cut off mid-affirmation.]

SHIP
Pod three.

VARIOUS VOICES
(intercut with static)
Woh́́. Woh́́. Woh́́! Woh́́.

WOH́́
-pid, stupid… why did I EVER think I could be the next Nalska? Darcy and Ampt said it themselves, the wildcards NEVER win Sirius Revel Six… and now About Gardens is never even gonna make it to the venue. We didn't even get in on talent. We got in on a FLUKE. That Wake, when Lowkey came sprinting into the studio, waving the wildcard ticket around? I should have said no. We should've waited. Gotten in on our own merits, some future Revel. But I thought I could cheat the system, and now I'm going to die out here, alone as that surfaced Groupless Captain Tarsul. Who may or may not have caused this whole mess. I bet they did. I bet they couldn't stand to see everyone else so happy while they were alone. They HAD to take us down with them.
(coughs, lightly)
I need water. My mouth's so dry I can't even sing myse-

[Woh́́ is cut off.]

SHIP
Pod four.

VARIOUS VOICES
(intercut with static)
Lowkey. Lowkey. Lowkey. Lowkey.

LOWKEY
You know, I can kind of understand the appeal of being strapped atop a nuclear missile like those early spacefarers, now. If anything went wrong, at least it'd be quick, and bright, and dramatic… you'd literally go out with a bang. It wouldn't be boring, like this. That never made sense to me before. Sure, I love some glitz and glam at a show, but I-I came up with the name About Gardens, after all. I've always tried to make nurturing the garden of your soul through music be my thing! Maybe I've been fighting against my nature. Maybe I don't know myself at all. Look where it's got me! Languishing and peeing in my pants in an escape pod with no one to listen.
(dramatic sigh)
That weird fortune cookie I got last year was an omen. 'Light yourself on fire with passion and people will come from miles to watch you burn.' I should've listened.

[Pod four is also thumped by something on the outside.]

LOWKEY
Woah! Woah! What?! Ask for a boom and ye shall receive. How's that for percussion?

[Lowkey begins repeatedly pressing the door button again, in rhythm, making Ship give him a beat like he had for his previously improvised song. He begins wordlessly vocalising again and launches into a reprise.]
SHIP
(A) The exi - the exi - the exi - the exi - the exi - the exi -

LOWKEY
    (sung)
The exit is sealed fooor your safety,
Oh Ship darling don't be so kind,
The exit is sealed for your safety
If I don't see Woh́́, I'll lose my mind.
    (more quietly)
Exit is sealed for your safety,

[Lowkey continues to sing the tune on "do do do," before trailing off, pressing the button one last time and letting Ship finish its sentence.]
SHIP (con't)
The exit is sealed for your safety.

SHIP
Pod five.

VARIOUS VOICES
(intercut with static)
Alyss. Alyss. Alyss

[Like with Pascal and Lowkey, something is thumping the outside of Alyss's pod.]

ALYSS
Must be the planetary defence we're going through. Here's hoping none of it's active weaponry…

[A larger bump, and Alyss's suitcase starts to make a loud alarming noise, possibly an actual alarm. The case creaks as she attempts to shut it off.]

ALYSS
Fuck! Shh, shh! Shut it, not yet! Yeah yeah, you're home, you bastard, just SHUT. UP. RIGHT. NOW. Where's the off switch… what, ughh, what did they say… the lime-green… agh that's bright… wrench-looking thing… and if I pull the… there!

[The sound grinds to a stop. Alyss relatches the suitcase.]
ALYSS (con't)
Stars, I didn't think I'd have to babysit the device. I don't know if this means the engineers did their job well, or too well, but this wasn't in the briefing… they shoulda sent an engineer.
SHIP
Pod six.
 
VARIOUS VOICES
(intercut with static)
Kuzha. Kuzha. Kuzha?

KUZHA
Right. Thank you, Trip.

[They press a button on their phone.]

KUZHA (con't)
Ah! Lamth, I still have no signal. Nothing is getting out.
(sighs)
But I have to keep trying. It means risking being overheard, but… getting rescued is worth it.
Okay. Okay.

[A click and a beep from their phone]

KUZHA (con't)
Calling 567108, this is Kuzha Tvask. Plutonic Flight 999 is compromised, as is my mission. Requesting immediate extraction for all survivors from escape pods. I am concerned we may be heading toward… hah, uh, a destination I cannot discuss over a questionable connection.
(beat)
And um, we have been hearing a lot of commercials as the AI has been trying to fix the comms. Some are recent, but a few are out of date… that should have been my first clue. I remember that Tracer documentary from traini-

SHIP
Pod seven.

VARIOUS VOICES
(intercut with static)
No. No Go. No Go. No Go?

NO
(a deep breath in)
Ahhh. 'What items would you bring to a desert island, No?' The humans love asking that question. Now I know — my answer is a starfish flower and Bao's bottle of gin! Good choices, if I do say so myself. Ah, only thing that'd make it better is someone to talk to. Lamth, I'd even take the kid going on and on about surfaced Dr Sang like they did all the way from Luna to EE.

[No holds up the bottle of gin and we hear it slosh around a bit. They hum softly at it, harmonising with themself a bit using their double-chambered larynx.]

NO (con't)
Oh, Baobab Mizar, you were a lucky bastard in some ways, you know? The coroner said they did a clean job, your murderer. You didn't suffer. It was over quick. Well, I've spent half my life since then trying to avoid research that'd make a big stink like yours did. Trying to avoid attracting the wrong sort of attention from cos. And despite all that, it looks like my end might be messier than yours. The universe works in mysterious w-

SHIP
Pod eight. Flight attendant Malachi Tessera.

VARIOUS VOICES
(intercut with  static)
Malachi. Malachi. Malachi. Malachi

SHIP
(H) -alachi, I am very sorry for my f-failure to maintain open communication channels between the pods.

MALACHI
No, Ship, it's not your fault-

SHIP
(H) Communications systems diagnostics return nominal results, but successful links are impossible in this environment. Mondays, am I r-right?

MALACHI
If only you could hear me… what did you mean, earlier, when you said 'entering orbit'? Ship, orbit of what?

SHIP
    (slightly overlapping with Malachi)
(H) Interference of this sort would be consistent with a targeted jamming attack, but no other ships are detected in the vicinity of the pods.

MALACHI
Yes, but what DO you detect in the vicinity of the pods? You're forgetting we can't see what you do.

SHIP
    (overlapping with Malachi)
(H) Malachi, I am trying and trying but nothing is working. 'Chin up, Ship' you said, when my algorithm failed to identify diseased crops on the cargo run last October and you and Ttarsul had to quarantine for a week. You said this despite the fact I do not have a chin. You have a chin, Malachi. Chin up, Malachi!

MALACHI
Chin up, Ship.

SHIP
Pod nine. Captain Tarsul <Groupnamevaluenull>.

VARIOUS VOICES
(intercut with static)
Tarsul? Tarsul! Tarsul. Tarsul.

[Tarsul draws in air sharply for a few breath, sniffles a bit, and breaks into full-on sobs. The force of their emotion is so great that their voice briefly doubles as they use both chambers of their larynx.]

TARSUL
I c- I can't… I can't do this again.

SHIP
Pod ten.

VARIOUS VOICES
(intercut with static)
Pod ten. Pod ten. Pod ten?

POD TEN
-I don't even care if we've made it to rescue. Just, like, leave me here in this pod. I never wanna see the light of day again. (sighs)
Hieronyicmuch9 was right! Hieronymous IS like, gonna betray the doctor! What else could that I-have-a-confession-to-make have been about??? I can't… I don't even know Dr Sang! Like, the one thing I'm good at in this universe! How am I supposed to do this scholarship interview when I can't even rebut the QUENTIN shippers, ugh… (sighs)
I'm sorry, Mom… maybe you were right, after all… maybe I should have just, like, stayed in Moghbeli Dome on Luna, and done all my homework like you wanted, and then I could've, I could've been a lawyer instead of an idiot fool… I gave my whole life for Dr Sang and when I get the chance to do something heroic… I'm just… a mess…

[Static begins to play. Through it, we hear some indistinct voices, possibly more broadcasts, but it's impossible to make them out. Dramatic music starts to build. Then, suddenly, it all stops, and we hear Ship:]

SHIP
(A) In accordance with emergency protocol, we are now entering orbit. Landing zone to be determined shortly.

PASCAL
Ship! Orbit of WHAT?!?

SHIP
(A) Unknown planetary body.

PASCAL
You — you heard me?

SHIP
(A) Connection reestablished.
(up-chime)
(H) Pod two! You can hear me!

[Having heard that, every single character tries to speak at once. It's complete chaos, but through the noise, the following lines can be made out, overlapping on top of one another:]

MALACHI
Oh, thank the stars! Ship, you can hear us again! Oh, I missed you,

PASCAL
Ship, what are we orbiting?!

TRIP
Pascal?

LOWKEY
Can we hear each other? Rock and roll! Woh́́, are you there, can you hear me?

WOH
Lowkey, I can hear you!

POD TEN
Is that- Is that-?

NO
Kid? Kid!

ALYSS
This yelling, it's productive, is it?

MALACHI
Hey, everyone, settle down? Please? Settle down now! Tarsul? Captain Tarsul, come in? Oh, this is silly — Ship, I'm using my override, keep everyone on the channel but mute them, please.

SHIP
    (down-chime)
(H) Understood, Malachi.

[Blessed silence.]

MALACHI
Hi, everyone! This is your flight attendant, Malachi Tessera. I'm so pleased to be back in contact with you! I'm- look, I'm really sorry to have to take the mic here, but it won't be for long, I promise — right now we need to do a roll call, just to make sure everyone's accounted for. Ship, take it away.

SHIP
(A) Pod one.
    (up-chime)

[Pause.]

MALACHI
Is, uh - can- can whoever's in pod one say hi?

TRIP
Excuse me? Hi, uh… can you hear me now?

MALACHI
Yes!

SHIP
(A) Please identify yourself.

TRIP
Oh, uh, Valencio Triptych. I go by Trip.
    (down-chime)

SHIP
    (up-chime)
(A) Passenger identified. Valencio "Trip" Triptych. Pod two.

PASCAL
    (up-chime)
Trip? Trip, honey, I love you!
 
MALACHI
I'm so sorry, Pascal, you two can talk in a moment, I promise, but right now we need to sort out who's-

PASCAL
Right, right, sorry — Pascal. Pascal Almagest. Passenger.
    (down-chime)

SHIP
    (up-chime)
(A) Passenger identified. Pascal Almagest. Pod three.

WOH́́
Woh́́ Ollum! Lowkey? Lowkey, I'm okay! Don't you dare turn off my c-
(cut off with a down-chime)

SHIP
    (up-chime)
(A) Passenger identified. Woh́́ Ollum. Pod four.

LOWKEY
(up-chime)
Awesome! About Gardens is back in action! Lowkey Madigan here. Over and out.
    (down-chime)

SHIP
    (up-chime)
(A) Passenger identified. Lowkey Madigan. Pod five pre-identified. Alyss Obelus.

ALYSS
    (up-chime)
Fuck.

MALACHI
Hmm? Oh! Oh okay, good job, Ship!

ALYSS
    (through gritted teeth)
Yeah. Good job, Ship.
    (down-chime)

SHIP
(A) Pod six.

KUZHA
    (up-chime)
Oh, hello? This is Kuzha Tvask, and I am kind of scared right now and I would really rather not be mute—
    (cut off with a down-chime)

MALACHI
We're so sorry, Kuzha, just bear with us for a moment! We won't get through it if everyone talks at once.

SHIP
    (up-chime)
(A) Passenger identified. Kuzha Tvask. Pod seven.

NO
(up-chime)
No Go here, ya hunk of junk, hurry up so we can all get off this—
(cut off with a down-chime)

SHIP
    (up-chime)
(A) Passenger identified. No Go. Pod eight pre-identified. Flight attendant Malachi Tessera. Pod nine pre-identified. Captain Tarsul <Groupnamevaluenull>.

MALACHI
Hey, Captain, you there?

TARSUL
You can't mute me, Malachi.

MALACHI
Nice to hear from you, too.

TARSUL
If that's it for your little schoolkid exercise, we've got–

SHIP
(H) My apologies, Captain Tarsul. There is still one more pod to identify.

TARSUL
There can't be. There were nine people in total aboard–

SHIP
(A) Pod ten.
    (up-chime)

[Pod Ten gasps.]

MALACHI
It's okay, pod ten, you're not in trouble!

TARSUL
Oh, I don't know about-

MALACHI
Tarsul.

POD TEN
I plead the fifth?

TARSUL
Who are you and what does that mean?

POD TEN
I… I don't know, I saw it in an old movie once? It, like, means I don't have to say anything.

SHIP
(H) 'I plead the fifth' is a phrase associated with the self-incrimination clause of the Fifth Amendment of the United States of America, a former nation-state of Earth that dissolved after the—

TARSUL
Ship. Be quiet. I'm not a lawyer, but that sounds like a steaming hot pile of slurry. You're in J-Gov jurisdiction, Pod Ten. Identify yourself. Now.

POD TEN
Fine — I'm a stowaway! I needed to… get to a place, like, for a thing, uh, without my m- um, without anyone knowing I was going, so I hid on your ship. I'm really sorry.

TARSUL
Yeah, I'm sure you're sorry it exploded.

POD TEN
That had NOTHING to do with me, I swear!

TARSUL
I'm still not hearing YOUR NAME.

POD TEN
I - uh, can you please just call me, like, Pod Ten? There's someone I don't want to find out that I'm on this flight — and I swear it has nothing to do with the explosion! Nothing at all! Uh, Malachi can like, vouch for me?

MALACHI
Tarsul, what's the harm in just calling them 'Pod Ten'?

TARSUL
Malachi, the ship may be gone, but this is still my flight, and I make the rules here. I don't appreciate your attitude or what a sucker you can be for sob stories.  Unidentified stowaway, I don't think you appreciate the gravity of our situation.

POD TEN
We're, like, in zero gravity.

TARSUL
What did you say?

POD TEN
Nothing!

TARSUL
IF we make it out of this — that IS A BIG IF — we will ALL be debriefed by J-Gov. There is a suspicion of foul play. I noticed just before getting into the pod that the cockpit had been broken into, and the ship's course was re-set.

SHIP
(H) Was it? Oh dear.

TARSUL
Our flight attendant's incompetence in not backing up the pod installs of the AI software might have actually saved us in the sense that whatever… modifications this interloper made to the AI, we know this install is free of them.

MALACHI
Ta-da!

SHIP
(H) That's a relief!

TARSUL
So I say again, unidentified interloper, I don't care who you're so scared of, there is no way your involvement goes unnoticed if we get rescued. And if we don't get rescued, you'll be dead. Therefore, you WILL identify yourself, now.

POD TEN
(deep sigh)
Fine. My name is… Chasma Jump Cannon.

SHIP
(A) Passenger identified. Chasma Jump Cannon.

MALACHI
(whistles)
That is the single most SKIPPER name I have ever heard of.

CHASMA
I've never been skipping, I just, like, thought it sounded cool…

TARSUL
    (sighs)
Now was that so hard?

CHASMA
My mom's gonna KILL ME…
    (down-chime)

MALACHI
Oh, Captain!

TARSUL
What.

MALACHI
The others! They're still muted!

TARSUL
Soon, soon. Ship.

SHIP
(H) Yes, Captain?

TARSUL
Communications system status.

SHIP
(H) Communications systems are nominal. The concerns were only ever external, due to the interference. We seem to have now travelled beyond the area of high interference.

TARSUL
Are you still sending out a distress signal?

SHIP
(H) Yes.

TARSUL
Do you know if the signal made it out, past the interference?

SHIP
(H) I do not know. It is unlikely, but the longer I keep trying the more of a cha-

TARSUL
Stop. I order you to stop sending out distress signals.

MALACHI
Tarsul, stars, why would you want to do that?

TARSUL
Ship, mute Malachi.

MALACHI
But-
    (cut off with a down-chime)

SHIP
(H) I'm sorry, Malachi.

TARSUL
Did you stop sending distress signals?

SHIP
(H) Sending distress signals is part of my emergency protocol, and therefore requires a verbal override in addition to the order. My goal after customer satisfaction is to keep YOU safe!

TARSUL
Surfaced cheap model. I override that part of your emergency protocol.

SHIP
(H) Understood. I have stopped sending out distress signals.

TARSUL
You also mentioned a landing zone.

SHIP
(H) My emergency protocol dictates that in the event that passengers and crew enter escape pods, a course should be charted for the nearest planet, in the absence of other navigational orders. Abiding by AAA, lightflights only venture near planets with hab domes. Therefore, landing on one maximises the opportunity for rescue.

TARSUL
Whoever coded that should be fired immediately. Ship, listen very closely: do not land. Scrap the landing plan. Just… keep us in orbit. Are all… (ugh) TEN pods in orbit?

SHIP
(H) Yes, Captain, all ten pods are in orbit! Landing on the nearest planet is part of my emergency protocol, and therefore requi-

TARSUL
Stop. I override your emergency protocol. Keep us in orbit.

SHIP
(H) Understood. I am aborting the landing procedure and maintaining our orbits.

[Tense music begins to play over the following monologue.]

TARSUL
    (deep breath)
Now. I'm sure you're all wondering why I did that. Probably a lot of you want to punch me, or yell at me. Too bad. That's quite impossible in our current situation. Well, the punching, anyway. You can yell at me, but I won't care, and I can always mute you. Landing on that planet won't help us. Nobody lives down there. There's nobody down there who can rescue you.
And yet, I know that one of you wanted very badly for us to land there. Enough that they were willing to blow up our ship and get us all in this mess to do it. So, before we do anything else, we are going to find out who that person is. I'm just about to unmute you all. You can do whatever you want — speak to each other on separate channels, have your little lovers' trysts, whatever. But remember — Ship hears everything you do and say, now that its comms work. And Ship follows MY orders. I will speak with you all, one by one, until I find out just who blew up my 999 and dragged us all to this surfaced place. I will keep us here as LONG AS IT TAKES. Trust me. I can last longer without food or water than any of you.

[Beat. The music ends.]

SHIP
(H) Captain? I am being asked by multiple people if you would like me to unmute. Although the phrasing is not quite so polite.

TARSUL
Ahhh. I was just savouring the silence, heh. Yes. Unmute them all.

[There is an up-chime as everyone is unmuted. Chaos again. The following lines overlap and are difficult to hear over one another.]

PASCAL
Ship, please, I'd like to speak with Trip alone!

LOWKEY
WOH́́ BABY I MISSED THE HELL OUT OF YOU LET'S TALK!

SHIP
(H) Understood. Understood.

MALACHI
Tarsul, why would you get rid of the distress signal, you've never done something like this before-

NO
I don't appreciate being treated like this, and no, I'm not ashamed to play the age card, I'm too old for this-

CHASMA
It was Alyss!

KUZHA
Captain, you have NO RIGHT to declare martial law like this-

TARSUL
Yeah yeah yeah, let it all out…

[Chasma's voice rises above the noise.]

CHASMA
IT WAS ALYSS!

[Everyone who is still on the line goes silent. Alyss laughs.]

TARSUL
Say that again, Chasma?

CHASMA
It, um, it was Pod Five, Alyss, that's her name. I, I like, um, recognise the voice. I saw her go into the cockpit in the middle of the night — and, um, she's got this like, weird suitcase? It glows and looks like a bird in a boat and she PROMISED she wouldn't stop us getting to Sirius but Lamth, like, CLEARLY that was a lie-

ALYSS
Oh, that's rich! What, is mine the only name you can remember somehow, you figure you'll just make a bunch of noise to save your own ass, stowaway?

[a short burst of static]

I haven't done anything to anybody. A lot's been done TO ME, though — Captain Tarsul, I wanna know what this unexpected planet is and how you know so much about it!

NO
Kid, where are you getting this from?

[More static.]

CHASMA
No Go, please back me up!

ALYSS
Huh. Do you two know each other?

SHIP
(H) I'm sorry to interrupt.

CHASMA
N - no — uh, see, I can remember other people's names! That was No Go! I definitely haven't met them before! But we just did roll call and, like, what a silly name!

NO
It's pronounced No Go. And yours is sillier.

[Static again.]

SHIP
(H) I'm sorry to interrupt.

CHASMA
ALYSS BLEW UP THE SHIP!

ALYSS
If you're going to slander me, at least say it to my face!

CHASMA
That's sort of impossible!

TARSUL
So, Alyss1, tell me more about your time on Plutonic 999.

[Even more static.]

ALYSS
It's Alyss2. Are you REALLY taking a stowaway's side over mine???

TARSUL
Not necessarily.

MALACHI
I want to hear some explanations from you too, Alyss.

TARSUL
Hm, well. Like I said, we have all the time in-

[More static, this time accompanied by loud music that quickly fades.]

TARSUL
Skarg, what now?

???
What's up, spacers? This is Titan actual transmitting to you from down on the surface of-

KUZHA
Is this the rowing thing again???

NO
Oh, stars, not more radio DJs…

???
What? Uh, no, this is Jawn! Jawn Batalha! Hi there, everyone!

ALYSS
Oh stars...

CHASMA
(gasp)
You're real! Respond to what I'm saying!

JAWN
Umm… response?

CHASMA
A person !

MALACHI
Welcome, Jawn!

KUZHA
Are you rescue?

SHIP
I'm sorry to interrupt. We are receiving an outside transmission from the planet's surface.

JAWN
Yeah, I'm down on the rogue. Howdy, folks! Wow, there are a lot of you! More than I was expecting, but hey, I suppose there's room for all of you on the Titan? Looks like you've had a real rough time of it.

NO
A rogue?

TARSUL
Mx. Batalha. I'm Captain Tarsul of Plutonic Flight 999. I'm in charge here. Did you say you have a ship down on the surface?

JAWN
Hey, Cap! Yeah, otherwise how would I be here, y'know?

TARSUL
And you have air and supplies for all ten of us down there?

JAWN
I mean, I'm not exactly equipped for a rescue op, but I'm not gonna let you starve. Spacer's code, y'know?

TARSUL
Stars help me.
Change of plans. Ship? We're landing on the planet. Now.

[A corrupted version of the theme song plays, repeating the line "Are you there?"]

EMMA
Thank you for listening to ROGUEMAKER. This episode, “Uplink/Downlink”, was written by Emma Johanna Puranen and directed by Rook Mogavero and Emma Johanna Puranen. The script was edited by Rook Mogavero and Shaoni C. White. Sound editing was by Emma Johanna Puranen. Original music was composed by Emily Branam, who also sings our theme song. Our cover art is by Tatyana Archtander.

In order of appearance, this episode featured the voices of:

Emma Johanna Puranen as Ship
AXANDRE
Axandre Oge as Valencio “Trip” Triptych

BONNIE
Bonnie Calderwood Aspinwall as Pascal Almagest

ALEX
Alexandra Rose DeAngelis as Woh Ollum

OMAR
Omar Camps-Kamrin as Lowkey Madigan

NHEA
Nhea Durousseau as Alyss Obelus

LIZ
Liz Morey as Kuzha Tvask

SAM Y.
Sam Yeow as No Go

ALASDAIR
Alasdair Stuart as Malachi Tessera

STEPHEN
Stephen Indrisano as Tarsul

ROOK
Rook Mogavero as Chasma Jump Cannon

EMMA
And:

SAM L.
Sam LaPorte as Jawn Batalha

EMMA
Last but not least, our vibe checker was:

BRUCE THE CAT
Mrow!

EMMA
For transcripts and more, check out our website, roguemaker.space.

If you’re set to Hospitality Mode and want to support ROGUEMAKER, please consider rating and reviewing us on your podcatcher of choice. You can also follow @roguemakerpod on Twitter and Instagram, or tell a friend about us. Spacer’s code, y’know?

Until next episode, take care of each other, and stay safe out there.


TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE:
Thank you for reading our transcript!  This was pasted in from the google doc (available here), so apologies for any spacing weirdness or formatting errors.  This episode was transcribed by Rook Mogavero. If you've noticed any mistakes, have any accessibility concerns, or have any other questions/issues regarding the transcripts, please email us at roguesfpod@gmail.com and we'll do our best to address/fix whatever it is as soon as possible! Hope you're having a lovely day :) -RM