Exploring the Depths of Sex Magic

Can sex be inherently magical? Join us for an illuminating conversation where we demystify the concept of sex magic and its profound impact on emotional and physical connections. We promise you'll gain a fresh perspective on how consensual, emotionally connected sex can create euphoric, near-transcendent experiences, akin to "the little death." Our discussion begins by defining sex magic and unravels the physiological and emotional aspects that contribute to these powerful connections. We also address the elusive pursuit of these highs, touching on why forcing a magical connection can be as futile as chasing a mirage, and respond to a question about the effects of fantasizing during masturbation.

Experience the depth of spontaneous intimacy as we traverse the meditative rhythms and emotional openness that elevate intimate moments. Personal anecdotes highlight the mutual vulnerability and profound bonds formed during such experiences. Polyamorous relationships and their unique challenges with sex magic, the distinction between sex and fertility magic, and the societal norms around fertility are explored with thoughtful insights. Lastly, we tackle the rising infertility rates and societal expectations, connecting them back to the intricate dance of sex magic and its practices. Grab a big cup of coffee, sit down, and join us for deep reflections on integrating these powerful practices into your life.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:15

Welcome to Pagan Coffee Talk. If you enjoy our content, please consider donating and following our socials. Now here are your hosts, lady Alba and Lord Knight.

Speaker 2 0:26

All right, Welcome to Pagan Coffee Talk. Today we're going to talk about sex magic, oh boy. So I think it would be wise for us to, I guess, first kind of set the parameter for what sex magic is.

Speaker 3 0:44

Right.

Speaker 2 0:44

It's such a. I mean, it's such a talked about topic. It's people obsess about it too, which I think is so funny.

Speaker 3 0:53

It makes you wonder how much can you actually talk about sex magic?

Speaker 2 0:56

A lot. I mean a lot, let's be honest. So really I guess the okay setting the parameters. So let's start at the beginning.

Speaker 4 1:08

technically, the tip. Well, yeah, exactly, let's start with the tip. Uh, just the tip.

Speaker 2 1:14

If my personal feeling is that all sex is sex magic, but yeah, it's unavoidoidable, yes, it is what it is Now. Okay, maybe not all sex, but if it's two consenting people.

Speaker 3 1:30

Right.

Speaker 2 1:32

And they have any emotional connection whatsoever.

Speaker 3 1:36

To one another.

Speaker 2 1:37

To one another.

Speaker 3 1:38

Yes, there's going to be magic.

Speaker 2 1:40

Yes, you're creating magic. There's a reason why there's eight billion love songs written about this very topic, right?

Speaker 3 1:47

And the Kama Sutra. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 1:50

And I think that right. So if the sex results in its ultimate purpose, beyond, you know, orgasm, if it results in creation, it's magic.

Speaker 3 2:08

Well, yeah, yeah, I mean, then it's definitely magic, you know. Now I think you're talking about the blessings of the gods, but right now, I think if you have bad sex, right.

Speaker 2 2:17

No, that's not gonna happen, because if one or both parties has separated mentally and emotionally from what's happened, no, no you know, I mean, I always kind of laugh when comedians are like you know, she's sitting there going, hurry it up. I got laundry to do. I'm not. You know, we can't be here all day. I I always think that's hilarious because I think everyone has experienced that like, uh, let's get this over with, but yeah, but okay, and then, and then we have the chemical composition right, all of the things that happen, the dopamine, the serotonin that you know, that holy crap, that alone flooding our systems yep there's, it's euphoric.

Speaker 2 3:06

There's a high, there's, you know well, there's a reason why so I always love this. The french call an orgasm the tiny death. Yes, yeah, because there's that literal out of body, I can't move, I, I can't function.

Speaker 3 3:23

In actuality for guys, if we did not have all our pleasure centers going up, we would be in agonizing pain. Every last muscle we have in our whole entire body tends to the absolute extreme.

Speaker 2 3:39

That's really funny.

Speaker 3 3:40

All right, it's like having a whole body cramp Right To a certain extent. Well, I think that's both genders really funny, all right.

Speaker 2 3:45

And it's like having a whole body cramp right, right. Well, I think, I mean, I think that's both genders. Yeah, I mean, not everybody achieves it to that extent yes, so yeah, I mean you know, the little death is is always, I think, funny as hell. Um that, that's a well thing or a way of viewing it what is this?

Speaker 3 4:04

the real reason why in the world, sex magic is really one of the most potent is is because we are getting slightly close to death I don't know about that.

Speaker 4 4:15

I I quite well here so here's my thought on it I think sex magic can potentially be like people's response to drugs.

Speaker 2 4:23

You're always chasing the high.

Speaker 3 4:25

Right.

Speaker 2 4:25

You're always chasing after, or trying to recreate, the best sexual experience you've ever had.

Speaker 3 4:34

Right.

Speaker 2 4:35

And that's stupid, Right? I mean just like drug addicts. That's dumb.

Speaker 3 4:43

All right.

Speaker 2 4:43

Why would we do that? It's the reality. Is it either happens or it doesn't, and I think couples especially sometimes try to force it yes. And I'm like what the hell are you doing? Why would you why?

Speaker 3 4:57

Why.

Speaker 2 4:58

Because if you don't have that sort of connection, wow.

Speaker 3 5:02

Yeah.

Speaker 2 5:02

Yeah, how do you think forcing it's gonna? Let people do it right, and I mean I've I've had plenty of situations in my adult life where I've met someone where, sexually, that chemistry was it's just like you, I, I'm the one to just go, let's be friends, you know, because you might be a really great person otherwise and you get along really well and you but but why force that if it's not there?

Speaker 3 5:30

got me.

Speaker 2 5:31

I mean, you're not gonna have those moments of magic not in that situation really, I mean, and you might make a baby? Maybe but again, there's always going to be something missing.

Speaker 3 5:44

Now the process of actual sex magic, purposely not doing a mishap spell, like I'm sitting there pleasuring myself and thinking of an ex or something.

Speaker 2 5:59

part of what spawned this conversation was a facebook group, uh right which, which is facebook group where a person asked the question if I keep fantasizing about someone while masturbating, would they be able to tell then? And they go on to say how their ex ended up calling right, reaching out to them a few days later and I'm like like, well, yeah, that's sex magic.

Speaker 3 6:27

All right, it's a form of it. I don't think they know that you sat there and used sex magic per se Right, they just know that they wanted to contact you.

Speaker 2 6:38

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

Speaker 3 6:40

Okay.

Speaker 2 6:40

Well, I mean, they might have a twinge. Might okay well I mean they might have a twinge, might, right. I mean there's always like a little, like you know.

Speaker 2 6:47

I mean maybe that's very plausible, but no, I don't think that that person is is going to be aware of the fact that you want to jump their bones right and you know, anytime right anytime we obsessively think about someone or something, we are potentially drawing it to us, which is another topic altogether why ruminating is so poor a practice? Because if you're obsessing about something negative, you're just bringing more of it into your life, yeah, even though you don't want it.

Speaker 3 7:26

So here we have the potential opposite so, but here we have more like an accidental right spell kind of yeah from from the way she's talking about, that's what I would say. This now to do an actual full-on one. My understanding you go like a few months or as long as you can without I mean, you have, you know, this is where, yes, kama Sutra, tantric sex practices.

Speaker 2 7:48

I mean it really all again, it's all about enhancing.

Speaker 3 7:54

And extending that.

Speaker 2 7:55

Right Extending the pleasure, enhancing the pleasure, making the connection with the other person deeper. I mean, here's my me personally. I mean, oh my God, I mean, oh my god, I can't like right, okay all right okay, confessions on the podcast, it's uh oh oh, it's pagan coffee talk after dark.

Navigating Sex Magic and Relationships

Speaker 2 8:15

That's what we're doing now. Okay, that's fun. Um, the sorry I tickle me. Um, I have had encounters with people that I mean yeah, sex magic has happened spontaneously. That's always really wild, but it's not a forced thing. I I feel like a couple of things happen in sort of a line. One is the, the rhythm, literally right physical rhythm, I don't know.

Speaker 2 9:00

I mean, something happens where it becomes very, very, uh, meditative, right, and then you have the emotional connection, you have the willingness, the, the, the right, putting down your barriers no walls, no mental blocks, no nothing no thoughts other than the moment exactly, and I've had a situation where, um, this was probably one of the most wild I've ever had, and this was with my husband. I effectively walked into his meditation during sex and I was like where the fuck are we?

Speaker 2 9:46

it was one of those like wild moments I was like this is not mine, this, yeah, like I was well aware of the fact that he let me in, yes, to his happy place, right, his, and I was like what the hell? And afterward I was like what, where? And then he explained it to me, yeah, and he was like oh yeah, that's my room, that's where I go. And I was like holy crap, that was cool, um listen now people don't understand.

Speaker 3 10:24

Like if you meditate, then have sex, it will force you to go deeper into it correct unfortunately it's very dangerous to do because you'll be cut you.

Speaker 2 10:34

You'll walk in the middle of traffic if you're not paying attention absolutely, and I mean, and I don't even know if that was his, that could have very well been what had happened. He may have been meditating prior I don't know um but it was never something forced.

Speaker 2 10:49

Now, kama sutra and tantra, from what I understand, it's um well, I mean, I hate to make it so mundane, but it's it. You, you build it up like exercises, like you work different breathing techniques, different stretching there's a yoga component different exercises that you do with the person that you're with, and some of them are non-sexual in nature, purely to improve the connection that the two of you have, right, and then thus later resulting in better sex, I mean, and that seems, I think, that's healthy.

Speaker 3 11:33

I don't see a problem with that.

Speaker 2 11:34

No, not at all. Now I think, when people are, shall we say, dabbling in that in groups that can get yeah, that can get messy real fast. I mean, I'm not giving my polyamorous people, you know, a hard time.

Speaker 3 11:54

I mean, you do you, you do you and, but not everybody. I don't think everybody can do a polyamorous relationship.

Speaker 2 12:00

No, no, not everyone can. And then when you bring sex magic to that equation, I almost want to say the magic gets confused. Yes Again it's that it's hurting cats. Right confused.

Speaker 3 12:19

yes again is is that it's hurting cats?

Speaker 2 12:20

right? Well, because the sexual act is one plus one equals one, yeah right, so when you have three or four, or it's like where am I going?

Speaker 3 12:26

what am I doing?

Speaker 2 12:27

we can't we can't join these numbers. No, it's or it's very difficult to do or it spreads you way too thin, yeah so so that's you know I would. I would definitely be cautious there. I don't know if that's something I would engage in now doesn't mean that if you're you know again. If you are polyamorous or you know you have fine. But but I wouldn't bring sex magic into the equation. What are your thoughts on sex magic versus fertility magic?

Speaker 3 13:02

One is to improve fertility, the other one's used for whatever.

Speaker 2 13:07

So you don't. They're not one in the same for you? No, yeah.

Speaker 3 13:10

All right, because now I can see you using sex magic to cast a fertility spell.

Speaker 2 13:16

Oh, that's interesting Using them joining them together. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 13:22

And that makes sense to me.

Speaker 2 13:24

Well, sure, because I mean at the end of the day, I remember this is many, many years ago.

Speaker 2 13:32

A close friend of mine's sister, was trying to get pregnant and you know they were having a really hard time conceiving and you know, and her doctor was like, well, how often are you having sex? And I mean it was kind of an abysmal number. And the doctor just went listen, you got to triple or quadruple these efforts because thinking about being fertile and getting into the act, right, if you're not having sex constantly, you're not improving your odds here.

Speaker 3 14:10

Right, I mean because there's the odds for humans you have to sort of I, I always say it.

Speaker 2 14:18

I think it's so fascinating right that as a society we have, we the fact that accidental pregnancies even happen that blows my mind it does. It blows my mind too. Now not, not in the sentinel, not in the judgmental sense of that it's just when you think about all the things that have to align for a human being to get pregnant. It's miraculous.

Speaker 2 14:47

That it even happens. I guess therein lies Murphy's law. Is that when you're careless, or you're or it's not, you know the gods well, it's beyond their tricksters, right, it's. That's sometimes the key there. And and then, on the other hand, you have people that so desperately want a baby.

Speaker 3 15:07

Right.

Speaker 2 15:08

And it doesn't happen. Whether it be physiology or otherwise, right Something's up and they can't conceive. So, whether it be physiology or other, right something's up and they can't conceive. So, yeah, it's such a crazy thing. There's so many components to it.

Speaker 3 15:20

Well, I mean, and the infertility rates are starting to go up.

Speaker 2 15:24

Well, you know, but there's a lot of things right. Infertility is going up.

Speaker 3 15:30

Testosterone and men are dropping rapidly around the world.

Speaker 2 15:33

Birth rates are dropping.

Speaker 3 15:35

Yes.

Speaker 2 15:36

More and more people are delaying wanting to have children until an older age. That doesn't help the equation.

Speaker 3 15:44

No, because you have more problems.

Speaker 2 15:47

Well, I mean, it's just the way our bodies are built. I mean, fertility is on the rise because most women are waiting until they're well into their thirties to have a child. And I mean, and I mean, look, I hate this because, as a woman, right, there's a feminist component to this that gets on my nerves. But biologically, the reality is, we're meant to have kids in our teens. We're meant to have children at a very young age because that is when we are at our prime to do so to do so and it's kind it's bullshit.

Speaker 3 16:27

Well, and again, but this is how in the world you keep on getting these. The top one percent, with all these 20-something year old women, is it is the.

Speaker 2 16:35

It's the same biological function going on yeah, and it just it sucks, because you know, from a societal standpoint that just does not work in our society anymore because it right, it's changed like, okay, look, we look back at the ancestors. If we go back to the Celts, right, if you had a baby at 16 or 17, you weren't raising that child alone, you had an entire clan, a village stepping up to help rear.

Speaker 3 17:03

Well, again we have lost the clan lifestyle. If families would go back to clan living we would be a whole lot better.

Speaker 2 17:12

But I don't know about it because I don't know how realistic that is for modern society and for people's endeavors. I think I is an ideal, sure, but I guess I mean I guess realistically right, if you did have three or four generations of families living together or living in close proximity and the youngest generation brought a child into the world, that mother would still have the opportunities to pursue careers and right you know other things because you, because then you have families and stuff around

Speaker 2 17:47

you to help you but also you say but then what? I don't know though, because then what does it do on the trickle down in the other direction? You know that's it's rough. It's rough. It becomes a much less ambitious society as a result. It's it's hard, yeah, but we are where we are but we are where you are and so I think fertility magic has become much more common right with um with everything that's going on yeah, because people are in many instances desperate to get pregnant.

Speaker 2 18:27

But you can't negate the sex magic piece of that.

Speaker 3 18:31

No.

Speaker 2 18:31

Because you need it to fuel the fire, literally Right. And there's two other things I think that are important here. One is let's not confuse love spells with sex magic. They're two very different things, things. And often the younger someone is and they're dabbling in those things. Oh boy, yeah, they get them all mishy moshy and it's kind of a mess and you really have to ask yourself what is it that you're wanting? Do you really want a love match with this person, or are you just lusting?

Speaker 3 19:09

Right.

Speaker 2 19:10

But you know, we don't do that when we're young. No, yeah, we kind of missed the vote on that one. And then the other thing is with sex magic what are the repercussions? Because I've seen a couple of situations where at least one of the individuals involved never recovers, meaning they are stuck on that person yeah, that they performed sex magic with for forever. They pretty much can never replicate it nope and, yeah, it's, it's almost devastating like they almost go celibate afterwards, yes, because they're like how can I ever?

Speaker 3 19:57

it's never gonna live up to that, ever again and especially that first time yeah I mean if you do it right, I mean yeah, yeah, you're with me, yeah, no, I mean it's intense.

Speaker 2 20:09

You know, it's also really funny because I think sometimes people look at the pagan I don't know pagan sex lives and they just they think really highly of our sex lives.

Speaker 3 20:25

They do.

Speaker 2 20:26

And I don't know. I kind of find that funny.

Speaker 3 20:29

I do too.

Speaker 2 20:30

Like.

Speaker 3 20:32

What they say we're doing, these orgies and sex magics and all this, yeah, but the reality is no, not really no, and I mean there's always the p like right.

Speaker 2 20:43

We were labeled sexual deviants. Obviously right, which I mean. Okay if you're a deviant because you say that sex is a healthy component of an adult lifestyle.

Speaker 3 20:57

I mean no, I think the christian's problems with us, with sex, is that all acts of pleasures. We don't deny the pleasure part of it.

Speaker 2 21:10

They see sex as only for reproduction yeah, also, that is actually a really good point. There are many religions that believe god is absent in the bedroom. Right, right, like it's still supposed to be chased, like I mean, there's some crazy crap where, like, people cover their heads. Yeah, no, I know it's gross, it's so gross it's like like we're getting.

Speaker 4 21:34

It's like handmaid's tale. You Crazy crap where like people cover their heads.

Speaker 2 21:35

Yeah, no, I know it's gross. It's so gross it's like we're getting. It's like Handmaid's Tale, you know kind of. Right, yeah, because there's still the belief that the act of sex is dirty or sinful or whatever disgusting, but yet. But it's necessary, it's a part of life, right? So it makes no goddamn sense.

Speaker 3 21:58

None of us would be here without it.

Speaker 2 21:59

Well, we're also going back to the garden, right, we're going back to Adam and Eve and the fact that they were running around buck naked till you know, they were told they were naked and all of a sudden it was like whoa, you know who cares? That's the thing. We don't. We tend to not have those hangups. Sometimes I liken a group of pagans especially when they're comfortable with one another, to the medical community.

Speaker 4 22:28

Yeah.

Speaker 2 22:29

I have plenty of friends in the medical community that are like. I can't tell you how many penises I have seen and touched that are not my significant others.

Speaker 3 22:39

Well, I mean, it's like every military man I've ever met. He's seen more.

Speaker 2 22:43

Yeah, swinging dicks, yeah, I mean, but there's nothing sexual about it. No, there's nothing, it's all it's more clinical, I don't know. We just don't really give a damn. No, and that's hard for some people to understand. I mean, we as a group and I mean I've seen this not just with our group I mean, anywhere you go, if there's a large ritual and there's a lot of people and space is limp, we all just start changing. Yes, wherever we are, people are dropping trow and, you know, putting on robes, because we don't care.

Speaker 3 23:21

I mean because the worst thing you're going to see is what you take off your shirt. You put your robe on, then you reach up underneath there and you drop your pants.

Speaker 2 23:27

But either way. Either way is still If somebody chose to stand there in the buff for a second. We don't give a crap, no, and yet there are some people who are kind of prude about the whole thing.

Speaker 3 23:41

but but we don't. But it's not like we're sitting there pointing them out.

Speaker 2 23:46

You do what makes you make you comfortable it's in no way, shape or form, related to sex. No. So now, of course, the caveat to that is we still have, you know, the great right yep, and there are many instances of groups that still practice it. I would like to think that the majority are doing so in private, after the ritual a priest and a priestess who are a couple, or whatever their dynamic is they're going off and doing their thing, fulfilling it.

Speaker 2 24:21

Yeah, in some beliefs, the the ritual is not complete without it. Yeah, until that takes place.

Speaker 3 24:30

Now I can understand that I mean lord menuson said it was it used to be the high priest and priestess would go for it in the middle of the circle and everybody was told if they didn't want to see, turn your back.

Speaker 2 24:45

Yep, and I mean, we're also not at that point talking about a prolonged no, no, this you know.

Speaker 3 24:55

Again, it's a very purposeful act, act I'm not even sure if it's done to the completion, it's just I don't know.

Speaker 2 25:05

I don't know. I think it depends on the two of them, but there's a lot. There's a lot that goes into that, and I do think that pagan couples especially tend to get a little too caught up in it sometimes yeah in an unnecessary fashion. Um, I think as long as you have a healthy sex life, that's all that really matters. What's missing? You know what I mean. What else are you trying to make happen?

Speaker 3 25:30

it's kind of silly and, as we know, the gods weren't very um but look, the gods are humorous to begin with, because again you have to remember the same drive that I allow men to go out and kill animals and stuff is the same thing that gets us into bed what they.

Speaker 2 25:47

I mean my point, but my point there is the gods had a lot of sex oh god yes, there's so many stories. I mean I don, I can't think of a single pantheon, a single deity. Yeah, that, it's just not.

Speaker 3 26:02

Well, for the longest time when I was younger, I used to think all stories of Zeus started out with him seducing somebody.

Speaker 2 26:08

Who did he have sex with, yeah, or who did he force himself on or who did he charm into his bed? Jesus is the only figure in my knowledge, maybe buddha who are considered celibate or pious yeah, in that way, and I and I mean and again, it's almost that it's not ever really confirmed, it's just not talked about. Yeah I know, I always find that funny, I always get a giggle out of that. I mean, then we get into the mary magdalene theories and you know was she really his wife?

Speaker 2 26:41

was she his girlfriend? I mean, clearly she was sexually experienced, so you know who knows?

Speaker 3 26:48

well then there's an argument that the prostitute story was fake was yes yes, that it was made up.

Speaker 2 26:55

Absolutely, I do think it's highly unlikely, living as long as he did in that time, that he was celibate, which then almost begs the question why.

Speaker 3 27:08

Well, think about it this way Moms now are still looking at their kids going you need to have a kid.

Speaker 2 27:13

Yeah, you need to get married, right.

Speaker 3 27:15

Do you think it was any less back then?

Speaker 2 27:17

that's my point. Jewish women are all about having grandbabies. Yeah right, so I can't imagine which then, of course yeah, I mean, that gets us down a whole different rabbit hole was a gay. What a thought, right gay jesus that would make me so happy, I would be so happy actually I don't believe that.

Speaker 3 27:34

I actually just, yeah, I really believe, if anything he was married to.

Speaker 2 27:38

Yeah, I know I think it was just very hush hush. Yeah, but also that is an interesting point there is gay sex magic. Yes, there's sex magic of all kinds yes I think it's just a matter of again is it responsible, is it ethical?

Speaker 3 27:53

in our consensual parties consenting yes, and for the love of god, take it slow like yes don't try to do all the things all at once, like there's some wild there is that there is a part of sex magic, there is a build-up, so this is not something you're going to go. This is not a 15-minute trip. This is a whole seduction.

Speaker 2 28:18

There is a really wild exercise and I know we've used it in some of our classes in the past where you just sit across from someone and look at them.

Speaker 3 28:28

Yes.

Speaker 2 28:29

That's it. That's it Right. How long can you hold eye contact? How long can you communicate silently, touching each other, without touching each other through a distance? I mean it's like, yeah, these are yeah, so take it. Take it slow if you have plenty of time to build up those skills.

Speaker 3 28:51

I mean what? No, I mean sex, magic in itself, the spell itself yeah, could be a two or three hour process if you're doing it.

Speaker 2 29:00

I don't have that kind of time. I got laundry to do.

Speaker 3 29:05

Just for that, let's go get some coffee, okay.

Speaker 1 29:10

Thanks for listening. Join us next week for another episode. Pagan Coffee Talk is brought to you by Life Temple and Seminary. Please visit us at lifetempleseminaryorg for more information, as well as links to our social media Facebook, discord, twitter, youtube and Reddit.

Speaker 4 29:28

We travel down this trodden path, the maze of stone and mire. Just hold my hand as we pass by a sea of blazing pyres.

Speaker 1 29:42

And so it is the end of our day so walk with me till morning breaks.

Speaker 4 29:49

And so it is the end of our day so walk with me till morning.