Get Out of Your Damn Way with Dr. Amy Boyd
Get Out of Your Damn Way is a podcast to help women to silence the inner mean girl and get shit done. Do you have big dreams you are chasing, but when you consider taking action, that inner bitch sits on your shoulder telling you all the reasons why you can’t? Things like, “you don’t have anything meaningful to say”, “you don’t deserve a seat at the table”, or “you aren’t smart enough to do this”, so you just end up complaining to your partner, deciding you’ll just scroll social media instead, or mutter to yourself, “she’s right” as you pour yourself a big-ass glass of wine?
If you have been wishing you could tell your inner mean girl to sit down and shut up, but you can’t seem to keep her quiet, then Dr. Amy Boyd is here to help. This podcast gets to the root of why you can’t seem to get out of your damn way, and it lies in that beautiful brain of yours… your thoughts.Since 2017 her company “Write the Damn Dissertation” has helped over 10,000 women make progress on their doctoral dissertations, and yet we all have "dissertations" that never get written, painted, performed, created, spoken, or shared. Inspired by coaching conversations with high performing women, we talk about what life looks like chasing dreams and reaching goals while preventing the bitchy inner mean girl from flying the plane. To learn more about the show, download the show notes, and to access her free “Silence the Inner Mean Girl” video course, and more, visit getoutofyourdamnway.com.
Get Out of Your Damn Way with Dr. Amy Boyd
Episode 5: The ONE thing that prevents you from getting what you want
One of the things that came up in our discussion, and something I think that single-handedly keeps us from going after what we really want is people-pleasing.
We don’t want anyone to feel small or left behind when we go after big goals.
When we operate from the people-pleaser identity, we are not being authentic, vulnerable or trustworthy. Because we've created a mask that keeps us safe from others seeing who we really are.
We have the need to belong, and when we grow and open to doing something big, we are figuratively disrupting homeostasis… disrupting the equilibrium in our social group.
And the educator in me when I think about setting big goals, people-pleasing, and the fact that as humans we have the innate desire to BELONG, I think about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. This has the potential to put us in a bit of a bind.
So sometimes when we go after something BIG, like committing to starting a Podcast, writing a book, starting your own business, enrolling in an EdD / PhD program, deciding to live the #vanlife, climb a mountain, write a screenplay, put yourself out there as an actor…. Or it could even be committing to a personal development transformation.
There are RISKS involved with claiming what you want!
What if I know what I want, but I don’t know if the risk is worth it?
That’s a legitimate question.
So it’s beneficial to take a look at the answers to that question. What are the risks?
A big risk, is What would other people think?
What other people expect of you – and your ability to meet those expectations – can determine your self-worth.
Some people will not like the version of you that chases dreams.
Some of your loved ones may be intimidated, threatened, left behind...
They may not like your "muchness"... the term Dr. Tara (our Director of Mentorship) coined that term and we use it often in our community. We are smart, we are complex, we are heart-centered, we are high-achievers, emotional, and we tend to get in our own way.
So people may not like our “muchness”
And what I see, is that people pleasers may struggle with truly opening up to your desires… because it comes with a risk.
The risk that others may not approve of your playing bigger… your aspirations, your dreams.
And so people pleasers may choose to ignore the nudge.
But when you play small, everyone loses. NO ONE WINS.
You lose in never truly feeling like you are aligned to receive exactly what you want,
The world loses the impact,
The Lives changed,
The People you will inspire.
The people who would see you as an example of what's possible for THEM!
In reality, there are actually very few people who will 100% fully support you in your pursuit of those big goals and dreams that you have.
So… that brings up the question, what do you do when others don’t support your goals and dreams?
I’d like to point out the reasons WHY others may not support your dream.s
- They are trying to protect you
- They are triggered by you
And when we disrupt the need to BELONG, sometimes it means outgrowing people… finding another support system where you connect with others who have BIG DREAMS they want to accomplish.
Rising tides lift all ships. Find your community.
The solution to when others don't support you, is find your village.
Find your support system. Join our Private Facebook Group… Get Out of Your Damn Way Pod Squad where we are chasing big dreams and supporting each other while we do it.