The Unfiltered Coach Podcast
The Unfiltered Coach Podcast
EP 086: How To Get Rid Of "Hustle" Once And For All | #GIRLTALK w/ Kelly Collier
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On the show today, Laura begins her new #GIRLTALK series with good friend and fellow nutrition coach, miss Kelly Collier. Like many of our friendships these days, theirs began on Instagram and slowly grew as they discovered just how alike they really were in their view on business and on life. Today they go hard on the bullshit mentality of "hustle", how this no longer serves us, and how to deal with struggle so that we come out powerfully on TOP. They both share their personal stories of how emotion has fueled their business and why its not weak to show our vulnerabilities.
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Welcome back to another episode of the unfiltered coach podcast. I'm your host Laura and today I have a really special friend and fellow nutrition coach, Ms. Kelly Collie on with me. We are doing the very first episode of Girl Talk on the unfiltered coach, which is a new segment that I'm rolling out where I'm going to be interviewing as some really awesome girls in our community and we're going to be deep diving into the real talk around a struggle in business. So this is the first episode where we are going to be diving into expectations of ourself, how our personal growth and development have really shaped our businesses and what you need to learn from our mistakes so that you can catapult yourself forward past all of these barriers. I have a Kelly colleague here and I'm so excited to be talking with her. She goes, one of my favorite coaches in this space. She has so many valuable takeaways that you, new coaches can take and implement into your own business. Man, we are going through this together right now, right? There's so many ups and downs in this crazy business ride that we're on that we voluntarily put ourselves, dropped ourselves into that no one talks about. No one talks about the real raw shit that's going on beneath the surface. We all kind of just pretend to have our shit together online these days. Right cal and really it's so exhausting sometimes to try. It's so exhausting to just put that face on. You know, you have to put it out there for on, for content and for social media and it's just, you gotta be that person 24 seven but no one talks about a real nitty gritty, deep, dark, dark[inaudible]. Yeah, yeah, totally. And I know like after we saw each other last, we started chatting a little bit just through the dms about what's really going on with us and you know, the stuff that isn't sexy and isn't fun to dive into or peel back the layers on, but is just such a real part of this journey. So I wanted to dive into what's going on with you and then we're almost afraid anyone, you know, I don't want anyone to know that we're going through this and this is happening to us. I know I can't understand it. I feel like, I feel like it's kind of fun to talk about it with someone else because you know, it just makes you feel normal. Yes. Connecting on the bad stuff. It's true. It's like it's easy to connect on the good stuff. It's try to one up each other with all the, Oh my God, it's exhausting. It's like a female Dick Measuring contest and you're like, oh my God, I totally just felt that way yesterday too. Like you think about it, it's sad. I know, I know. And I think there's a lot of great coaches starting to bring light to this struggle. I see a lot more that lately. I still think though, it's like, Hey, I struggle but in this really beautiful flowy blue way. It's like, no girlfriend. Like, I look homeless right now because of x that is like struggling. But I'm still eating my OSI bowl after yelling on the beach. Yeah, exactly. Whereas we're over here on the other side of the screen, haven't showered in five days. We're in the same spot. Yeah, exactly. Be like trying to figure your light, honestly. Yes. And that's the very real side. But no one wants to show. Yeah. Like yeah. I don't know. So tell me about what you've been going through lately. What's kind of one of those big mental blocks that you've been struggling with? Cause I know I have got a laundry list of them myself, but I know we're very similar so I'm sure we're going through some same. Right.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean I started this year kind of a newer coach. I had my business for about six months and then I got into this really awesome kind of mentorship program and I just skyrocketed, you know, like I grew so fast. Um, and I just almost like just got engulfed in it, like taken up like in a tornado and just kind of, you know, zeroed in on my business and becoming as successful as possible. It's like I was seeing all this new income, these new numbers and then these new clients and it's like, I just, you know, became all about that and I just almost completely forgot about. Right. Even started coaching to me again, this validation almost in your number of clients and your monthly income and you know, all this, you know, crazy stuff that was never the reason you started no tempting in with. Right. Um, but it's like, who, like, who are we trying to impress with all of this? Like, and why is this our validation? Um, our worth as a human suddenly, right. And, um, I dunno. It's like I just lost touch of my purpose. Um, my y, um, my vision, my life really because I just shut myself off in my apartment, in my office here at home. I like never left my house. I never hung out with my friends anymore. Like I was just working 24, seven. I felt like, um, and I just, I didn't have a life anymore. Like my job was my life and it just felt like man, no. And mentally I was just, I'm going down the crapper basically while my business was going up, I was going down as a person, you know. Um, and it's like my whole life I've struggled with, um, you know, depression and self worth and feeling worthy and um, you know, just loving myself and the relationship I have with myself and, and my body image and all these different things. I've been overcoming those problems that I've had my whole life. And then, um, of course, when you start a business, like the biggest, scariest, most important thing of your entire life, those are going to still show up. They're like a new level new devil, you know, like that's gonna you think you have it conquered over here in your personal life. Then when you start something new like this, I mean those are gonna rear their ugly heads, you know what I mean? So it's almost just like the exact same things but in a different setting and a different environment. Then you have to refigure out, you know, in a different way. And it's also very interesting how all of these things are so like parallel to, you know, what our clients go through as well. No upper limit theory and whether we deserve this, you know, or um, you know, feeling like, uh, um, you know, like were, what's that word? What's the term? Oh my God. Where you're pretending to be someone you're not or like totally better than you actually are. Um, you know, just all the answers are essential.[inaudible] Syndrome, imposter syndrome, you know, um, all of our clients use exact same things and here we are going through them as business owners. So
Speaker 1:no, that's good. Yeah, I totally agree. And I resonate so much with what you said about my business is skyrocketing and I'm like hiding under this rock and I'm not loving it. I'm not feeling energized by it. It's, I'm almost starting to resent it, which is you are not supposed to feel when you're helping other people. Right? And then all of these sort of self expectations start layering on top of that and it becomes this jumbled mess in your head because it's like, okay, is this reality? Is this just something that I need to work through myself? Does anybody else go through this? Like what's wrong with me when really nothing's wrong with you. We're just trying to like fit ourselves into the standard of what being an online coach is, what being successful looks like, et Cetera. And we forget to come back to ourselves. We forget to check in, you know, and, and remind ourselves, okay, what's really going to make me happy in the end? What's really going to make me feel fulfilled in the end? And even when you know that there's still this like dichotomous thinking and I don't know if you struggle with this, I still struggle with this. Where you, you know, you know that money is not gonna make you happy, you know, it's not going to make you feel or get it for right. But it's like, oh yeah, yes, I just signed
Speaker 2:five new clients. I can go like on this trip now. And it's like, wait, whoa, Whoa, Whoa, stop, stop, stop, stop. Right. Because you get caught up in it. It's so fucking easy to get caught up in that way of thinking. And especially when you're in kind of like a group setting and there are other people there becomes kind of like competition. You want to show up to these people. Um, so you want to, you know, always be getting new clients and you know, Oh, I cleared this much money this month. You know, and I've grown this much percentage wise over the last month. And, um, it, you start getting so consumed by what they're doing, um, and you start to lose focus on yourself, you know? And for me, um, it was a huge, uh, comparison game. I literally, um, last month I probably unfollowed like 50% of the people I was falling on social media cause they were all coaches. I was just wasting my day, hours and hours now hours on social media, looking at what everybody else was doing. Cause you think it's gonna give you some ideas, motivate you or you know, you're gonna see something that they're doing. Like, Oh, you know, this is what I could do. But then all of a sudden you've spent five hours watching what every single person is doing. Not creating anything for yourself, but just like subconsciously you're comparing yourself. I'm like, Oh, you know, she did it, you know, so much better than I could have. Or there's no point in me doing talking about this now because she's talked about it. So everyone else has seen it, you know, whatever. Um, and then by the time you're done, like you have wasted your entire day and oh, I gotta go to bed now. You know, like you haven't done anything with yourself. You know what I mean? I literally had to unfollow all these coaches and all these people because I was so worried about what everyone else is doing. I was consuming everyone else's lie. Like, why didn't I think of that? Or why couldn't I have done it as good as she did? Or, you know, maybe I could do something like that, but not this week because she did it. So I'll have to be next week or something like that. You know what I mean? Um, it just makes you almost feel like smaller and smaller and smaller. And then to where you're finally at a point where you don't even want to get in front of the camera or your phone or put yourself out there, cause you just don't feel good enough. It just snowballs into the snowballs into this huge thing. And it just, you know, keeps you from your power and your greatness and what you're here to do and the lives that you're meant to change. And so for me, just removing that from my life, I can focus on, you know, just I can do whatever I wanna do. Like, I don't have to do what she's doing or live up to that or be posting five times a day like she is or he is or whatever. I just worry about myself and I do what I wanna do. And if I want to talk about something, I'm gonna talk about it. And I don't care if anybody else has talked about it or how they talked about it. Um, and I just want to, you know, talk to whoever's following me, you know, and not care about, um,
Speaker 1:growing your following and trying to hustle to yeah. Consuming of other people that you are comparing yourself with. I totally agree and I love that perspective. I've recently gone through a similar head space shift around it where, you know, I was doing the same thing and when you start digging into marketing and you know how to market yourself on social media properly and like how your messaging should be framed and everyone's opinions of that, it's like, holy fuck, I don't even know how to write now. I feel like because it's still like, is this structured properly? Is My hook good enough? You know, are people gonna Click right and it's, it's exhausting to one, like, right. I like it, you know, and it Kinda sucks the fun out of it. I remember last week I was sitting down with London and I was like, fuck Instagram. I'm not going on it anymore. I'm done with Instagram. I'm going to go to Twitter. And so I start like my Twitter account on Twitter anymore. Or now I know. So I log into my Twitter account following zero people, I have zero followers. I'm like, all right, let's do this clean slate. Let's go Twitter. And I started tweeting. I'm like, this feels so not me. Like I like to show up on video. I like to put little emojis and Shit, you know, I can, my thought to 200 characters or whatever it is. Like I'm a talker and yeah, like, Okay Laura, it's not Instagram. It's you. Let's be real. You need to set boundaries. You need to stay in your lane. If you don't want to show up on your stories one day, don't know what, okay, that's okay. But then you get on Instagram and you see Sally sue over here who's already done 10 amazing stories with perfect hooks in call to actions. And then you're like, oh man, you're annoying. You know what I mean? And then you just, you do it. No you don't. And then like you try, okay, you've definitely done this cause I do this. You try and it takes you like three hours to create beautiful stories that disappear in 24 hours. Yeah, right. The fuck are we doing, you know? And it's just a measure up to these people that we have on a pedestal. It's just stick a game and we're exaggerating their freaking, you know what
Speaker 2:I mean? In our own minds, we think that they're so much better than us. We're so much further along, but they're probably not, you know, they're probably struggling just as much as we are. Maybe even more maybe. Or maybe they have like an Instagram team doing it for them. Maybe money and you're not. So you've got one up on them. Yeah, exactly. So you're actually doing better. And I like, I love coming back to that expectation piece because it's just, it's so relatable in so many different areas, you know, like what we expect these people to be doing or what we define success as for them isn't even what we defined success for. As for ourselves. Like we defined success for them. It's almost hard to, to know that for yourself, totally brand new coach, you don't know what success is going to be like for you or what you even want this to turn into. Like all these other people. You're exactly right. And we start measuring it by the metrics we can visually see versus what we actually feel. Yeah, absolutely. And for me, I mean I was, it's like I, I was ashamed of what I was accomplishing because I wasn't busting my ass, you know, in grinding 20%, that was not success to me. I literally just wanted to help people. I wanted to achieve success. However, or whenever it came to me organically, you know. Um, and I didn't want to be working 24, seven, you know, cause I also have a at like a nine to five job full time job. Um, so I wanted to be doing as little as possible but be making as much impact as possible. And I was achieving that. I am achieving that, I'm doing that right now. Um, I'm in a wonderful place, but it's like I can't let myself, um, live in that and celebrate that. You know, it's like I didn't feel like I was worth, I would downplay it to myself or like if people would ask me how I'm doing, how my business is doing, you know, I'm going to have less clients than this person over here, but I'm probably, maybe I'm making the same amount of income if not more, but I'm going to downplay it. And he's like, Oh, you know, I just, I do this a couple of hours a day or like I don't do that much. Or like I don't really, I don't try that hard or I don't post a whole lot, you know, like, but that, that's what I wanted. Like that to me is success. That's freaking awesome. I think, you know, and it's like I can't, it's like I'm ashamed of that or I don't know. I don't think it's good enough because I'm not, you know, grinding 24, seven, um, letting this take over my whole life. You know what I mean? It doesn't look the same as everyone else, but I'm a different person with a different life, you know?[inaudible] goals
Speaker 1:and um, yeah, that's a, that's a whole nother, it's so relevant. Like I think that shame piece is so huge because it's something that we don't necessarily define it as, but that's exactly what's going on where like we have these shame gremlins and like, who are you to be successful if you're not working as hard as Sally? Like if you feel good but you're not putting in the same amount of work, shame on you. Like you shouldn't feel this way. You shouldn't tell clients, you know, 12 hours a day every single day. Exactly. It's like giving yourself that permission just to say, I'm just, I'm good where I'm at. I'm good where I'm at. I'm actually doing a challenge next week. You're in mega little groups so you'll be able to do it with me. Yay. Um, about this exact thing like starting where you're, where you're standing and defining your marathon. I don't know where I thought of this and I don't know what you think about it, but it's so true. It's like, hey girl, you can either rent a Lulu lemon seed seawheeze or you can run a death race. Either way, you're running a marathon, you get to choose. Do you want to be flowy and high five your friends and stop at the water stations and get your swag bag at the end and be next to the ocean? Or do you want to be like scraping your knees up on the side of a mountain with wolves chasing you and like a headlamp and like dehydrated food packets? I'm for sure putting my ass in the seawheeze. Right? But every now and then you can like get lost in the death race. We feel alone and we force ourselves up these mountains that aren't even taking us to the summit that we want. Right. And we are chasing a finish line that doesn't even exist all because we think it's shorter or it's what we're supposed to do or it's supposed to be harder doing. Yeah. Yeah. It's the coolest thing. Like you probably, it's cooler if you succeed successfully run a death race, then if you successfully run a Lululemon's seawheeze may be for something badge of honor. I know. Yeah, totally. Yes, exactly that. What are we trying, who are we trying to prove this to? Like where, I don't know. I don't know ourselves in the process of all of this. I think someone used to do a study on this totally, totally. Like the heads of coaches and psychologically what is it we're going through and I think you hit the nail on the head when you start. You don't even realize that this is going to be your journey. Yeah. Right. And you just try to live up to what everybody else's doing, but their goals in their ideas, success and where they want their business to go. I was going to be completely different. Yeah. Same time. I think even, um, Amanda Bucci just put out a really awesome post about like how coaching, you know, or this business is 25% entrepreneur, 25% coach, maybe 5% teacher, 20% creator, and
Speaker 2:everyone's different, you know. Um, and I got stuck for a little bit in that entrepreneur, like running a business, like all about the numbers and the money. You know, I fell into that, I tripped into it just accidentally. I got swept up away in it. Um, and that's when everything just sort of, that's when I personally started to fall apart. Um, because that's not why I'm here. That's not when I, um, started all this for, and that's just not who I am. Like, I'm not good at that stuff. Like I don't, you know, I'm somebody else taking care of all my finances and all my money. Like I don't, that doesn't drive me, you know, so I was kind of unaligned. Um, and I, it just felt like rap and I just felt out of unaligned out of my purpose and, um, just personally and mentally, um, just kinda took a nose dive and it's, I quit. I quit worrying about, um, you know, I to quit taking care of myself when I was chasing that, you know, you put your needs as a, as a person and your self care and your life on the back burner, um, and everything that makes you, you as a human that makes you happy, those on the back burner when that's your goal, when you're doing that. Um, and so I just, I became extremely stagnant. Um, which to me causes depression in me, you know, if I'm not growing as a person or I'm not doing everything that I enjoy and love in my life, um, I quit hanging out with my friends, quit working out, um, quit taking care of myself. I quit self-development, self-growth, you know, if I'm not growing as a person, how am I supposed to lead my clients somewhere if I'm not going somewhere, how am I leading people somewhere? You know what I mean? So if you're not giving yourself that space in that time to take care of herself and your self care, like you can't be the amazing coach that you need to be. You can't give to other people. You're not putting yourself first or giving to yourself as well. So yeah, I totally agree with that. How did you come back from that? Or are you still in the process? Um, I just realize what was happening. I was like, it's not fun. I don't like this. How did I get this wrong with me? Um, and I just knew that I needed to change something and I realized that I, that's, that's where it was and why it happened. And I just quit taking care of myself. My life wasn't, didn't look the same suddenly as it had, um, before all of this. And, you know, how do I get back to that self care? So, um, you know, get back to reading and podcasts and trying to grow myself as a person. Um, boundaries on my work, massive boundaries in my business. Um, you know, the days that I want to be coaching, the time frames that I want to be coaching, um, just how many clients I was taking, um, and not overloading myself.
Speaker 1:Um, because I want to be the best coach I can to the client that I do have and I don't want to like resent what I'm doing, you know? Um, and like I said, I'm following people just focusing on what I want to do and when I want to create what I want to say. Yeah. How everybody else is doing it or what everybody else is doing. Um, and just staying in my lane. Um, and yeah, just kind of turning it back to myself and what I needed as a, as a person, you know what I mean? I do. Yeah. I so do. I went through, I mean, you know, I went through something similar recently and um, a big part for me was taking some space away from everything. Like I went and found just an area outside somewhere where it was serene, it was calm. It was actually like, there's this big fountain area and there were kids playing. And it was just really happy. Like the energy there was great. Yeah. My ass down there and I just asked myself, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What make, what would make you feel great again? You know, money aside, what would you be doing personally and professionally? And I just did a soul searching brain dump and came back from that realizing that I was chasing the wrong fucking thing. Yeah. You know, and like in my business and professionally and that I really did need to just course correct and get myself back on track so that I feel energized and fulfilled. And I don't know if you would agree with this, but when you're aligned with what you're doing, you can work the same number of hours and feel completely different. Yeah. Because it energizes you. It brings purpose into your life. You feel good inside of it and lights you up. It lights you up, it lights you up. And I think like for new coaches there, I remember starting in this industry, girl U2 and you have this idea that it's supposed to be hard. It's supposed to suck. You're not going to make money for a long time. You just have to put in the work and you're going to get there eventually. Like these are the things we say to ourselves. I just got off a consult yesterday with a coach who was like, I know I'm not going to make money for a long time with this. I'm like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, stop. Like, but she, she was like mid forties so it's that kind of age group where they're not used to it. Like they grew up not with a lot. Right. Usually and work hard for what you do get. Yeah. And I think for new coaches coming in the space, separate yourself from the hustle and tell yourself that it doesn't have to feel that way. And if it does, something's probably wrong. Like you're either not being efficient in some area, you're not aligned with what you're chasing, you know you have to being true to yourself, you're trying to fit a mold and look like. Exactly. Exactly. So start to know yourself. What are your warning signs? I know my warning signs like crazy anxiety and
Speaker 2:my like stomach, I'm tense. You know, I, I'm snappy, I'm not resting. I look homeless, you know, like I don't show up on video. Those are all, I don't even want to, I don't even want to say anything or I don't want to give anything because I don't feel like I have value right now. Something's wrong with me. I know something's wrong with me when I don't want to give or show up and I don't want to give her show up because I don't feel like I have anything of value to do. I do. And so I know when I'm hiding, that's me hiding from the world. I'm feeling smaller than I actually am. That's a really great one to just know about yourself. I think too, like you maybe don't, it's not that you even don't have value to give, it's just you don't have anything to give you. You're empty energetically, spiritually, physically. Right. You're empty. Absolutely. So it doesn't feel like you have value because you just don't have anything. Your tank is empty. Yeah. When you're on a, when you're on a high level of energy, like creative and you're just, you know, ideas are bouncing and you want to do all these amazing things and you're just happy to do it all. So, yeah. Yeah, totally. Do you think that, like, why do you think this game, this entrepreneurial game is so emotional for women? Especially like, I'm sure men go through emotional ups and downs too, but I mean, I always talked to my girls, so for whatever reason, and again, I feel like already so much of what we've talked about can translate to like, you know, our clients' journeys and fitness and nutrition, all this stuff. It's crazy. But again, just as women, I feel like for me at least personally, you know, I have always struggled with self confidence and worthiness and I'm just being good enough, you know? So of course that's going to show up in my business and this brings out so many things, um, in ourselves and maybe we don't even know that we're there. A problem with us mentally or emotionally inside, you know, um, this, this is hard, you know, and you've got to be almost a certain level of person, you know, to be able to handle this and to be able to, um, make it to the[inaudible] straight, right? Saying sanity is the name of the game, right? And so it calls so many parts of you out, um, that maybe you've never had to, um, call upon before or, you know, visit or, you know, work with and, um, you know, so it's just, it's, it's almost like self-discovery at the same time as, oh my gosh, this is my livelihood. Oh my gosh, I, you know, I have to eat with this money. You know, if I don't make enough and we'll get to, you know, go to the grocery store, you know, so it's very just, um, you learn about yourself really fast. Um, again, like as emails, you know, it's tied to our confidence and competence to show up. We have to have competency on a sales call. We have to have confidence sell ourselves into market ourselves. Um, and just where do we find our validation? You know, finding validation and all these external things that could go away like that. Your income, your number of clients, how many sales calls you have, you know, if people are responding to your dms or whatever. Um, you know, finding validation and all these things that are so bleeding, um, instead of you as a person. So if you're, um, kind of shaky on shaky ground with yourself, worse like that's gonna come up real fast. Um, running your own business like this.
Speaker 1:I love that perspective. I love the tie in with validation and how we're on this emotional roller coaster because it's so true. We do, we seek external validation through so many different means now. Yeah. And so you're right, if we don't learn first to validate ourselves as a coach, how are we expected to maintain a stable emotional state as an entrepreneur when it's completely dependent on external validation that we have no control over. It's our external environment doesn't meet our internal expectations. And so we suffer. But we put ourselves in this position to suffer. Like we could learn. We're voluntarily putting ourselves in pain. Yeah. Realizing it, it's Saturday.
Speaker 2:None of those things. Um, define who we are as people know our worth on this planet. You know, like we're here changing lives, um, and every single day helping people, serving the world, you know, trying to, for me at least, I, I'm trying to save myself the person I was, you know, I'm trying and I'm trying to be the person that I needed to these other people when I was going through and struggling with what my clients are going through and I didn't have someone helping me or showing me what to do or, um, pouring into me and I'm trying to be that, that person for them. Um, but I'm also, you know, I see them as, as me, 10 years ago, you know, I'm trying to save myself. Like that's why we're here. Um, we're, you know, we have worth, we have value on this planet. We're changing people's lives, we're helping others.
Speaker 1:That's so powerful. And I think a lot of coaches we do, we become the coach we wish we had at one point in our lives. And so, you know, inside of that when you can, when you discover that and you realize that it becomes so much more fulfilling too. Yes. Emotionally hard, sometimes maybe, right? Because it brings new things up in yourself, but also fulfilling and rewarding and validating for yourself when you have control over that. Right. And you can fix these people or help these people come to their own, come to the end of their own journey because you've already been in their shoes. You've already walked it for them. Um, that's powerful. That's amazing. Girl. I'm, I mean, I've, we've connected so much over the last couple of years, I think, and I've seen you developed so much and it's cool to see you on this journey. And you know, the thing about it is we're all on this journey. It doesn't matter what stage you're at. Like fucking Amanda Bucci is still on this journey, man. You know, let me see her like way up here ahead of us, you know, above us. Yes. And, but even still, like I really try hard now not to put anybody on that pedestal above me, you know, because they're not, they're just serving a different community than I am. And it doesn't matter how long in the game you've been, you have something to offer. You are valuable. You have people waiting in your path to help them. And if you don't give yourself permission to be seen, to show up, to honor that in yourself, you're going to miss that opportunity to save someone's life. Yeah, absolutely. And that's, it was a big thing that keeps me going. Um, you know, in those times where I just, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to show up. I don't wanna put my face on camera. Like, who is, who is missing my message? Like, who could I be helping? You know, that just randomly stumbled upon my Instagram story. Um, you know, who is, who's that one person that I could be reaching right now if I was to get my shit together? And, you know, they, my message that I want to say whatever in that moment. Um, there's not one person that I could be helping, but I'm choosing not to you guys. I don't feel like good enough about it or something like that. Yeah. I think you should start showing up like this on your Instagram or, and share the struggle. Cause even with your nutrition clients, it's so relatable. Yeah. So relevant. I know we were saying like this message may not resonate with your nutrition clients, but it does. And for any coach listening, like share your struggles. Right. I think it's so important for your clients to see that you're human and you're not a robot. Yeah. I mean our clients like they love us for who we are. You know, like we don't have to spend all this time trying to be somebody else or trying to be, you know, all these other people that were watching on Instagram or are not showing up because we are not like
Speaker 2:all these other people on Instagram. You know, they love us for us. You know, they heard our message, you know, so what if 50 other coaches are saying the exact same thing that you are today? Um, they needed to hear it from you in, in the way that you were going to say it. You know, they heard what everyone else was saying, but it didn't hit them the way it hit them when you said it. You know what I mean? Our coach or our clients choose us because we are who we are.
Speaker 1:It's so true. That is your power. Yeah. Yourself is your power. But then also like, I don't want to go on this whole other tangent, but there's all these coaches out there who are just saying be yourself and your clients will find you and like the flowy idea of manifesting your success. And I'm like, great. I do believe in that. Like I believe that meditation is really important and putting out into the universe what you want is really important, but you can't, they still gotta reach out and do the work like dot come to you and your dream.[inaudible] I know, right? Not like,
Speaker 2:you know, if I, if I have a few spots open up in my programs, I just gotta I gotta get on Instagram and shoot some DNS and talk to people, you know, like a virtual hands. They gotta talk to people and they will fill up like that. You got to do the work, you know what I mean? Even if somebody wants to sign up with you, like they're just not going to know it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, like, oh my God. Yeah. You would not believe how many times I've just like, notice someone pop up in my feet a lot. I just reached out and said, hey, so happy you're here in Laura land. You know, welcome. They're like, oh my God, I'm so glad your ratio to me. I was so nervous to DM you doing this or wanting to do this for so long. I never did. Like, Rod, girl, let's talk what's up.
Speaker 2:Right. Um, but I did something you mentioned, um, about people that are in the space longer than you are. You know, that's something that I, um, was struggling with massively, um, was just always comparing myself to someone that's been doing this for years and years and years and years. Yeah. Why aren't I that good yet? Like, why, wow. I can't imagine me doing that right now. Well, no shit, because like, they are so much, you know, they've developed so much more and learn so much more and have so much more experience than you are. But here I am, you know, feeling crappy about myself. Why can't I do that? Or why can't I be that person? I'm not there yet. You know, I will be. Yeah. That's the person I want to become and I will become her, you know? Yeah. But actually go through a few more things first. And that was another kind of, um, moment being in, you know, a mentorship, being surrounded, rallies, people, they have been doing this so much longer than me, you know, and just, um, feeling inadequate, comparing myself to all these other people in my group. Um, which is funny because I mean, I wholeheartedly believe in, uh, masterminds and mentorship and investing in coaches. Obviously
Speaker 1:I preached that till I'm blue in the face. Um, and I believe in this idea that you always want to be, you want it to be in these rooms with extraordinary people. You know, you want to be surrounded by people that are gonna push you and that are where you want to be. Um, I hear it all the time. Something like, you always want to be the dumbest person in the room or something like that. You know, like you're the smartest person in that room, but you're in the wrong room, right? So we want to do these things. We, we put ourselves in these situations, but it's almost like, for me at least, um, it backfires. Sometimes I just comparing myself immediately and then I just start getting smaller and smaller and smaller and then like second guessing myself, oh, I'll keep your mouth shut. Don't say anything. You know? And, um, suddenly it just snowballs into this, you know? Yeah, I agree. Yeah. It's, I think to almost, yeah, I think it comes down to the support too, and just like openness to have those conversations being with the right people. Yeah. You know, there's lots of different rooms you can be in. There's lots of different rooms where you'll be the dumbest person in the room. And I'll be the dumbest person in the room. And that's right. That's great. There's lots of communities out there. And I think that's the great thing about fitness now I think because our nutrition or like whatever you're in, um, it's a massive, massive, massive community. It's like this big global thing, but there's like all these little sub communities and finding one for yourself, even if it's not a paid one, just to be a part of and be supported through. I had someone in my little group, um, I try really hard in our private little community to just make everyone feel safe to say whatever they're struggling with and you know, talk about it openly. And I had this one girl message yesterday saying how she was nervous to, I had tagged her in a pose, like an accountability checks. See where she, yeah, it's just like, oh my God, I didn't even want to open it because they knew that I wasn't as far along as I should be. And what would you say? And Blah, blah, blah. And then I realized that this group is so safe and so supportive and I can, I can say that I'm struggling and I can say that I'm not doing what I should be doing and own it. And I know that it's going to be okay in here and we have so many people say, yeah, this place is safe. Like I'm feeling the same way. And that's just a part of it. But you have to find that tribe where you can say, I'm having a really hard time and you're not like, cast dries for it or can, if you are in a group where you're feeling judged or like you're going to be judged, like you're not fucking group, like you're with the wrong people, you know? Um, and this, to be honest, the second I started opening up about this, um, everyone that was in my group was just like, wow, this is amazing. I feel the exact same way you do. Like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:And it just started opening up all these new connections and dialogue with all these people. But I was feeling less than in front of and that I thought were way up here and I was way down here and I just started opening up about my truth and where I'm at and being vulnerable and they're just flocking to me. Like, oh my gosh, this is so true. And I feel the same way and I've always felt this way and I thought that and thought this, I've never heard any of my yet. And you know, it's like, it just opens up the flood gates. Almost every one is going through this stuff too. My health freaking perfect. They look, they only look perfect because they feel like they have[inaudible].
Speaker 1:Exactly. That's exactly right. So cal, if people want to like follow you or slide into your dms for a little community support, where can they find you? Yeah. Um, I am on Instagram Wall Squat for pizza. I am on all your candle kills me still. I love that. Um, yeah. Uh, shoot me a DM on Instagram. We'll talk about pizza, we'll go and we'll talk about food or we'll talk about just trying same and struggling. That's my favorite topic. Connecting on the struggle bus. We're all on that list. You're all on that bus. We need to start creating extensions for that bus. Like everyone aboard. Let's go like the Noah's our struggle. Okay. Love it. Coining that. No one's saved that. That's ours. Right? So real. So real girl. Thank you for being so real with me. This was awesome. Um, and I think everyone's going to be hearing more from you, maybe from the sounds of it. You're going to be back on the podcast. If we do our like book club idea, that would be so fun reading a book will come out of okay. But I will let you go. Thank you so much for being on here. You're amazing. I love you. You love you so much. So grateful to have you in our, in our little community.