122. The art of feeling better with Matilda Heindow

In this episode, let's welcome Matilda Heindow an advocate, author, and artist whose journey through mental health challenges has inspired thousands of people.

Matilda openly shares her experiences, from dealing with many diagnoses to finding comfort and power in creativity. With her well-liked Instagram page, @crazyheadcomics, she's built a community of almost 500,000 followers, offering a welcoming platform for honest talks about mental health.

Chapters

0:00 - Intro
02:21 - Matilda's journey
03:44 - What is mental health advocacy?
05:15 - What everyone should know about mental illness
06:19 - What would you say to those who don't understand?
7:32 - Why is it important to celebrate sensitivity?
10:17 - What is art for you?
12:24 - Tips to feel better
16:22 - What made you start your IG account?
20:43 - What is the difference in the world if we focus more on mental health?
23:34 - Outro

Tune in to discover the art of feeling better.

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Transcript

0:00

Hi, it's Frida Kabo. I've had some great conversations with awesome people, and I thought, why keep the conversations in the archive? I want to share them with you. So here is one of the conversations from the sensitive success summit. Enjoy. Welcome to the sensitive success podcast, where we explore the unique challenges and opportunities that comes with being a sensitive changemaker in today's world. I'm your host, Frida Kabo, and I have spent the last decade recreating my life. I moved from Sweden to New Zealand and now live in the beautiful bush with my husband and two kids, homeschooling and creating a life and business that works for me with the help of my sensitivity and support others to do the same. I'm excited to share conversations with experts, thought leaders, and fellow sensitive people who also see the world through the lens of sensitivity. Thank you so much for being here, because it means that you're creating sensitive success too, which is precisely what the world needs. Let's get started. As sensitives, we can feel that the world is too much, and that we don't fit in, and for those of us who haven't grown up in a supportive environment, we are more prone to mental health issues. And a lot of us are creative in some way, using art as an avenue for healing. And today we have someone who is an expert in the area. In this conversation, we are talking to the advocate, author, and artist, Matilda Heindow. She's using art and writes about living with mental illness. Her Instagram account, atcrazyheadcomics, with over 500, 000 active followers. Let us know in the comments if you're one of them. Matilda is born, raised and based in Stockholm, Sweden. In 2021, she had a TEDx talk titled The Art of Mental Health Advocacy. And now her book, The Art of Feeling Better is out. Part confessional memoir and part self help advice. Welcome, Matilda. I'm so excited to have you here. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. Wonderful. And yeah, we can talk Swedish, but I think we'll talk English as well. I think we will work this out. Yes. Tell us a bit more about your journey and how you come to do what you do. I've always been struggling with my mental health. I remember myself as a very anxious child, and that later translated into adulthood, and I was a very anxious adult too. And when I was Um, in my early teens, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and later, like, social anxiety, panic disorder, generalized anxiety, PTSD. So I've had a lot of comorbid diagnoses all at once. Yeah, I've just had like a really hard time navigating in the world. And then I was in my early twenties and I started an Instagram account because I wanted community and I wanted other people to like find that I can connect with. And so I did that and then it took off and I wasn't expecting it at all, but it like grew really fast. And, um, it's been like a really interesting journey to become like a mental health advocate. And then yeah, this year My book released, which was very exciting and like something I've been wanting to do for so long. So, Yeah, I think that's a little bit about like how it started and how it's going. Love that. And yeah, it's so interesting how our own struggles can actually help others when we speak up. So what is mental health advocacy for you? For me, it's because I felt the stigma that mental illness has for a long time, and I think for depression and anxiety, it's gotten a lot better. But For someone like me who has a lot of different diagnosis and like diagnosis, there are have symptoms that are more stigmatized and misunderstood. I think it's really important to, um, just spread awareness and to share, like, our lived experience so that we can squash the misunderstandings about mental health. And I think it's really important when you feel like you're struggling with your mental health to know that there are people that. feel the same. Um, so for me, it was really important to like share my stories and my thoughts and feelings about mental illness and try to like show that it's okay to talk about things that don't get as much room in the conversation as maybe like something that most people can relate to, which is like feeling sad or feeling anxious, which is, they are human emotions that everybody go through. Um, of course, when you struggle, to the point where it impacts your daily life, that becomes like a disorder. But I think it's easier for people to understand like if someone would be depressed versus if someone is like bipolar and has like episodes. So I just wanted to talk more about the things about mental illness that maybe you don't talk about as much. And what is it that you think everyone should know about mental illness? I think you can get like messy and like uncomfortable and almost like kind of gross sometimes like I don't even want to say how long I've gone without changing my sheets when I've been really depressed and even sharing that like on social media, some things about mental illness. People do sometimes go like, Oh, like that's so gross. I don't know how anyone could end up at that point, which just furthers destigmatizes mental illness. And I just think that some parts about mental illness can be like scary. And like, if you've been like psychotic and you see things that aren't there, or like feel scared or like judged, like someone is watching you or something like that is, you know, Hard to understand if you've never had anything like that happen to you. Uh, and for me, that was really hard to understand before it happened to me. And then I was like, Oh my God, like, this is so hard to like, understand if you haven't gone through it. So, yeah. What would you like to say to those who don't understand? It falls on everybody to inform themselves and educate themselves and to listen to other people's experiences and to not judge as you hear it. And I think it's easy. Like, I think it's hard for people to have conversations about mental illness because it can be like uncomfortable and we are often. We don't feel good having conversations that makes us uncomfortable and like, not knowing how to respond to people is really hard sometimes, uh, especially if you're not like a therapist or a psychologist, you can be like, Oh, this is a lot of information for me to take in right now. But. You don't need to like fix anything or do anything. The thing we want the most is for people to just listen and to understand and empathize with our stories. So I think that's really important to just like be an active listener and not try to judge or fix. or anything like that. Yeah, that's so important. One of the art pieces that helped me find you was about sensitivity. And here we are in the Sensitive Success Summit celebrating sensitivity. So why do you think it's important to celebrate sensitivity? I was I was always told I was very sensitive as a child. It was like everybody was uncomfortable around me. I felt like at least adults because I was so sensitive that people didn't know what to do with all of my feelings. And yeah, so that was really hard. Now I know that, like, uh, not having control over your feelings is like an ADHD symptom, that you're, you struggle to regulate your emotions. And for me, if I, something little happens, I might have like a huge meltdown about it. And I know logically that I don't have to feel this way, but like, still I do. And, um, I was told when I was a kid, like, crying won't solve anything, and, like, you need to just get thicker skin because you can't go through the world and, like, be so emotional, and it was always a bad thing to be called sensitive and emotional and, like, how people see sensitivity as being a weakness. is just really stupid to me because I think it's such a strength and I've realized that now that it's such a strength that I'm older and I have like great emotional intelligence and I think that's the intelligence that people often think like they look down on and they don't see being good at emotions as being smart or as that being a skill but it like 100 percent is and the way I can relate to people and the way people Like feel safe talking to me and there's being in my presence. I felt this like something that is like a gift to me and Just something that I really treasure and like about myself now, but it wasn't always like that because people would always like make me feel bad or weird or ashamed for feeling a lot of feelings, but I think to me now is like if you don't feel a lot of feelings, then I think that's probably because you are scared to show your feelings to other people because you're scared they're going to judge you, but I think practicing feeling and identifying your feelings and like understanding your feelings and giving them space is how you process your feelings and then are able to let them go and like feel better and feel lighter. So I think it's really important that we learn how to practice emotional intelligence and how to build our strength in that area. So for me, I feel really like grateful that that is something that's been innate to me and something that I feel always came natural, um, even though I had a lot of judgment for it when I was younger. Yeah, I love that. It's such a superpower when let it, but I think that a lot of the listeners can relate to, to your experience as well. So what does art mean to you? Art is like everything to me. I was always an artist, like ever since I could hold a pen, I've been drawing. I think also with like the sensitivity. I think a lot of sensitive people can relate to when they were kids that they had their own little like fantasy world in their heads and you would feel comfortable being in your own presence because you had such a rich inner life and you could just entertain yourself. And for me, I did that through art and art. So it's been like my safe, safe place and the way that I processed my feelings. And sometimes I don't even know what I'm feeling until I am writing about it or drawing it out or painting it. And I think art Could be so many things like when I cook, I think that's an art to me. So I really like cooking and combining the flavors and stuff. And I think putting on like an outfit in the morning is art because I try to make sure that all the colors match and I have different textures and fabrics and stuff. And I just think that art can be so many things. And I think every person is like an artist and a creative person. I think in the world we live in now, so much is about like work and responsibility and stuff that you don't have time in your day for the average person, maybe to like, sit down and be creative and do art and stuff. But I think it's so important that even though you're an adult, you like, play and create and, you know. just have something that you do to make yourself feel better. And art is amazing because there, I don't think there are any rules to art. And I know I went to art school, so I know that like, there are technically rules, but I never followed any rules. So I think that's what makes it so great is that you can really like have your own thing and do whatever you want to do and create whatever you want to do with no like judgments. Yeah. So art is just like everything to me. Wonderful. Yeah, we can see the, the, the energy and the shine that comes on, on your face when you talk about it. I love that. So how can we feel better? Your, your book is about feeling better. So what are your best tips? Oh, I have. Because my book is like, from childhood to adulthood and every single thing that I can think of now that helped me feel better. So it's really like, it has so many tips, so it's hard to pick. It's like picking your favorite child, like that's a little hard, but I'm going to try. I think like the thing that really changed my whole life when I started really getting into my healing journey and like trying to prioritize feeling better was self compassion. And I think that's so important. I had like a self compassion group therapy thing for a couple of weeks and it like changed my life. It was the best thing ever. And I was always a very compassionate person and I would always Like, and I think that's also true for all sensitive people. Like we have a very strong sense of justice and we find endless compassion to other people. Like you see an old man missing the bus and you just cry because you're like, Oh my God, like, I can't believe that happened. But then it was so hard for me to give myself that compassion. And I think. That's because you, like, know yourself in a way that nobody else knows you, so you see and know about all the, like, quote unquote bad things you've done, or, like, the bad things you've thought, or, like, the things that you judge yourself for. So you think that you're not good enough, or that something is, like, wrong with you. So for me, it was really hard to be nice to myself. And so when I was doing the self compassion course, it really helped me realize that me, just like any other person in the world, deserves, like, respect and love and empathy, and that it is okay to give myself that respect and love and empathy, and just practice being nice to myself, uh, really helped a lot for me. And then, I think it's just, There's so many, like, small things that you can do every day, and, uh, the reason why my book is, like, the art of feeling better, and not the art of feeling good, is because when you've struggled with mental illness for so long, and you've almost, like, always known just bad, it can be so hard to think that I'm gonna go from feeling bad To just everything's fixed. And now I feel good. So I think it's the small things every day that make you feel better and you don't have to necessarily be good to still like, live a good life with mental illness. And I used to say like, I suffer with mental illness, but now I say I live with mental illness because it is not a suffering. To like live my life anymore. And I didn't think I'd get to that point. And I got to that point from just doing like the small things every day. And I think a lot of it was just a shift in mindset. Like you can really think about gratitude. And cause that is also something I struggled with when I was sick and I was like, I don't. feel grateful about anything because everything just feels like hard. But I think now, like, I'll go on walks and I'll be like, I am going to mindfully notice things that are different or beautiful. And I'm going to feel the sun on my skin. And I'm going to like, look at the people walking by and see smiling, happy children. I think that there's something like beautiful about a day. And I don't have to think like, if I had a bad morning that I'm going to have a bad. Rest of my day too. And that bad moments can just be bad moments, but a bad moment doesn't have to mean like a bad day. And I think a lot of it is how you change the way you think. You know, yeah, love that such great tips, definitely something I relate to and can attest to as well. The compassion thing is a big one. Yeah, we talked about your Instagram account a bit before. So what made you start it? And did you think it was going to be that big? Yeah, because I was always into art and my parents were always looking for little things to get me for birthdays and Christmas that had to do with art. And then one year I got like a little drawing tablet for digital art and I've never done any digital art before. So I didn't use it and I was like, I don't like digital art, like a pen and a paper and a canvas. It just feels better, you know, um, but then, yeah, I was getting to the point where I was. Thanks. Uh, out of high school and I started like working and I thought, Oh yeah, school isn't for me, but maybe work is for me. And then I worked, um, in like childcare at schools and stuff. And I was like, this is not like for me either. And I kept like quitting jobs or changing jobs or getting fired. And I was like, I don't see anywhere ever that I've like felt like it's my place. And I was feeling really hopeless and thinking that I'm not gonna be like a member of society because there's society like hurts and it's scary and it's going too fast and people don't understand me. And so I just really wanted to find people who could relate to me. And I really had the urge to just write about my feelings and try to put them down and see if maybe someone like felt the same. So I started the Instagram account and I just posted at start like every day I posted new things all the time. And I was anonymous at first and nobody, cause I didn't want anyone to know. Cause I wanted it to be like my diary and you don't want someone, you know, to read your diary obviously. But then Instagram suggests accounts based on the people they think you know, so everybody found out about it. But at that point I had like maybe like 10, 000 followers and all my friends were like, this is so cool. You're like famous on Instagram. And I was like, Oh yeah, man, you know, it is cool. It is really cool. And so I started feeling more like pride in doing it and just sharing more and more like personal things. And then I Yeah, it like took off so fast. And so it like grew so fast too. And I think that really goes to show that people have like a need for more, like accessible mental health education and awareness. And so I tried and I still do try to keep my Instagram like the most easily read accessible for everyone. Yeah. And I found a lot of people that like really related to me and people that said like, Oh, it feels like I could have written this because this is exactly how I think, but I have never been able to like put it into words. And I think that's something that I'm good at because I. think so much about my feelings and like I really dissect and like process my feelings and my thoughts. So I think I'm good at describing really like complicated and like nuanced feelings into like easy to understand ways. And I think that's why people like my Instagram so much. Yeah, definitely. So what has surprised you the most? I guess like how Sad people are, which like how so many people don't feel good and how, because I really thought that I was the only one who felt the way I felt when I was feeling it. Um, and it is nice to hear, but it also is really sad to hear because. I don't want other people to feel bad. And I was like, Oh, you feel this way too. Yeah. But also like, uh, like that really sucks, you know? So I think just hearing about how, and I think it really goes to show that there is like so many things in the world and the way we are as a society and like how society is set up, that just isn't supportive of our mental health and actually is ruining people's mental health. And, um, yeah, I think we have a lot of work to do as. a world to make people feel supported again. And I think we have gotten so removed from like community that people feel like they are alone and like loneliness is one of the worst things you can feel for your mental health, you know? So I really think that I'm sad to hear how many people feel like they are like alone and isolated in their experiences. Yeah, definitely. So what do you think would be the difference in the world if we focused more on mental health? I think that I could go so like deep with this. I really like think like, if I was president, there'd be some changes made, but I definitely think that like, I don't, the whole adult life revolves around work. And I think that we work too much and we work too hard. And when you look at the human brain, It's not meant to be able to focus on a single task for several hours in a row like that's just not the way our biology works. So I think it's ridiculous that we are made to work these like work weeks in the way we do. And I think, like, I love. My family and I love families in general, but I think somewhere along the way it's become about the nuclear family with the dad and the mom and the children and that becomes you go to work, and then you go home to your family and that's your little micro society. But then, as like a, as two adult partners like that kind of becomes your only person to lean on and support on. Whereas a long time ago, we used to be in like little communities with a bunch of people that everybody would help raise the children and we would do chores together. And we would just have like so many different people who supported us. And I really think that you need a village to, you know, and now these days, like, I don't even say hello to my neighbors. And I think it's a weird thing that you feel like at an arm's length with other people. And you can't like, especially us Swedish people understand that we are like scared of strangers and it's not okay in Sweden to like talk to strangers and like reach out and I think that's something that we've lost that I, that I yearn for. It's like that connection with other people, even if you don't know them. And I think, I wish we would go back to like just being closer to people. Community. And I think that's what's missing a lot. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, it's a bit different in New Zealand. You can say hi to strangers there, especially in the, in the countryside. Yeah. But yeah, I definitely know what you mean. Yeah. Uh, yeah, so head over to Matilda's Instagram at Crazy Head Comics. It's, yeah, so much relatable content there and have a look and see if it resonates with you. So is there anything else you would like to add, Matilda? I don't know. I think we've had some great conversation and I love the questions and, uh, yeah, I'm just really happy that I could, that you would invite me and I could come talk. It was really nice. Really fun. Yeah, I agree. Thank you so much for being here and sharing your wisdom and for the advocacy that you do for mental health illness in the world. It's so important. So thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening to Sensitive Success. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share it with someone who could benefit from this message and come over and connect with me on Instagram @fridakabo. And remember, sensitivity is neither good nor bad. It's what we make of it. Embrace your sensitivity and use it to create sensitive success your way.